Latest / Harder Than Life / 38: Living with Integrity w/ Matt Williams

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38: Living with Integrity w/ Matt Williams · Harder Than Life

• 0:00
  I'm Kelly Siegel and this is harder than life a podcast about self-love self-awareness business and health We tell outrageous stories and boil everything down to simple practical advice. You can start using today. Let's get living
• 0:15
  Welcome back to the Harder Than Life podcast, where today I'm really excited to have Matt Williams of FroPro with snacks on. He and I connected at a speaking engagement. I can't stop watching his content. He flat out might be the happiest man on the planet. I'm serious. Watch his daily stories and see for yourself. Thank you for making the time with us today, Matt. Dude, what an intro. Thank you for having me, and I'm stoked to be here. Bro, what? How did you get so happy?
• 0:45
  Well, I guess I've always been a happy dude and had a pretty good childhood and all that and reasons to be happy. But man, ever since getting sober and starting my life over in 2010,
• 1:00
  life has gotten a lot better. There's obviously, you know, again, not always happy. So I appreciate that. I wish I could say a hundred percent of the time I'm, I'm always happy, but I am appreciative of life and loving the fact that I get to do what I get to do. So I think that's, that's the ticket, man. I mean, I see you and your content and what you're doing and
• 1:17
  and you're happy to be alive and you're happy to be helping other people. And it's like watching you with your daughter and just kind of being you is, again, we've only known each other for a couple, what, two months. But yeah, man, you can really see when someone's happy and they're truly authentically living their best life. So again, congrats to you. Yeah, game recognizes game, but I will tell you.
• 1:39
  the best part about living this lifestyle is I get to meet people like you and connect. And like you said, we know each other two months and we already send each other motivational text messages and funny messages and you can just feel the love. And back when I was drinking, you got a little bit of a head start on me. You're 13 years sober, but I'm four and a half.
• 2:00
  I wouldn't, neither one of us would have been present to feel that it would have been like, Oh, let's go to the bar. And then we would have thought that that was cool and fun. And now I'm, I'm just like, you know, shameless plug for you. I I'm addicted to the, uh, to the fro pro snacks. They're so freaking delicious. I, I will set the new record. I'm going to take Adam Javelin's record because these things, if you have a little bit of water with you, you could just,
• 2:25
  Yep. So, yeah, that's a record for a while. So, uh, what inspired you to start fro pro snacks and tell the audience, uh, about these little nuggets of joy and where they can be found. Nuggets of joy. That's a new one. I'm gonna have to add that to the list. Yeah. So, well, wait, hold on. I got the strawberry banana brand here. I mean, the different, you sent me the assortment and then I order them and they're so delicious. Yeah.
• 2:51
  Thanks, man. I appreciate it. Yeah, it's a peanut butter snack bar. I'm, you know, again, something that nothing, nothing like revolutionary. I love peanut butter. I started making these snacks when I started over. I'm going to kind of travel and bike around the Florida area for my own kind of
• 3:08
  you know, like any good thing, you put some work in it, you put some time, you're patient. And again, I say those things because that was, was, you know, that was told to me like, Hey man, just like whatever you're going to be doing now that you're starting over, do it a hundred percent, do it the best you can. You know, at the end of the day, you're the one that's going to know if you did it or not and, um, you know, keep it moving. So yeah, it's a peanut butter snack bar. Um, we have about 13 to 14 flavors, 15, if you count some seasonal ones. Uh, but we started from wrapping, you know, this bar in a little,
• 3:38
  Saran wrap. I was wrapping it in my kitchen with like a little sticker on it and just kind of taking it around. And I shared it with people and like anything else, right? You know, you listen, you know, after reading your book and listening to the things that you do, you know, you share kind of your life with people.
• 3:52
  and you share what you're doing and what you're about and what you really enjoy. And, you know, cool things can happen, you know? And again, I always say that I didn't start fro pro. I didn't start making these bars to be in the business, to be a businessman. It was just kind of at a, I would say a pivotal point in my life where I was like just starting over and trying some new things and enjoying, you know, being in the kitchen and cooking some stuff. And, you know,
• 4:17
  trying to fuel myself while I, again, was starting over and biking all around and doing all these different things with my life. So again, it just got to this point where we're here. Idea in 2011, but officially business in 2013. We're here like 10 years later. And it's pretty remarkable, man. And I chalk that up to putting in a lot of work and effort, but then a lot of people that
• 4:42
  really, really supported me and loved me when I couldn't love myself. So again, you know, I never again created this to be a business or anything like that. It was just meant to be something I enjoyed. And again, when you start over, you can probably relate to this, right? You have things you're really good at, things you enjoy. Sometimes you do things that you think other people want you to do and again.
• 5:03
  It's, you know, after reading, you know, and starting your book, I'm almost done. You know, you look at these things and you're like, am I really truly happy? Am I really doing what my life's purpose is? Am I making lives better? Am I doing these things? And again, we look at a lot of other people, right? We try to take care of a lot of other people and we don't take care of ourselves. So when
• 5:22
  getting sober and starting this and doing these things and starting this routine of waking up the sun and all the protocols that were suggested I try. Again, that just takes time and it compounds and everything gets better. There's challenges. There's not always happiness, but just that gratitude of, okay, I'm going through this for whatever I'm going through this.
• 5:52
  When you're faced with some adversity and like, I don't want to say normal life, but like quote unquote normal days, it's almost like, man, I've walked through so much other bullshit and I've...
• 6:05
  I'm here. This isn't really as upsetting or overwhelming or whatever lies I'm telling myself in my head. This really isn't that bad. I think what's great about anything that you do when you create and you're truly, truly passionate about it and you truly love it and you truly
• 6:26
  get behind it. You can have naysayers, you can have people that are, you know, oh, man, you're doing too much or, oh, this is over the top. Or, you know, why don't you take it down a notch? And it's just like, man, if I'm not for you. And I did a podcast with this great, great gal who's playing, you know, pickleball of all things and taking it to the next level with her. And the whole thing was...
• 6:47
  You know, who cares what anybody else says? If this is making you happy, if this is giving you purpose, if this is fulfilling and lighting you up, why aren't you doing it every day? Oh, 10 minutes in and you just I just let you go because it was I felt every day.
• 7:05
  word that you just said. And I just got to remind the audience that that all started in 2010 with you making the one decision to set down the alcohol. And I just realized as I'm doing, as I did show prep last night, two things I didn't know about you. So the business started right after you got sober. So I didn't realize one year later, you're like, oh, it's amazing how when you get clarity, ideas come into your head.
• 7:34
  So kudos to you. That's another reason to set down the naughty water. And then the second thing I didn't even realize that you do have a daily podcast. Wake up the sun. Tell me about that.
• 7:44
  Yeah, no, it was one of those things. When I got sober, I started training at my buddy's facility, and I was the early morning guy. I was the 5.30 a.m. class guy in addition to one of the owners. And I started, again, I can't take credit for the Wake Up the Sun, you know, like moniker or whatever you want to call it, because my buddy would always – my buddy from high school, who always was –
• 8:07
  just kind of like a hard worker and he's not, you know, he's not, not sober. He's not, you know, someone that parties, he was always just like super hardworking and he'd always be like, did you wake up the sun today? Yeah.
• 8:17
  And or we'd talk and catch up. Hey, man, like I was waking up the sun today and would joke about how many jobs. Even when I was, you know, in the midst of drinking and drugging, he's always like you're taking everyone's jobs. I was working like six, seven jobs of things that I enjoyed. And again, at that time, I was doing that because I just didn't want any idle time because I knew what I would do with my idle time. And it was usually drink or drug. But why did you drink?
• 8:44
  I loved it. Oh, yeah. I mean, I love, you know, I love the feeling. And when I kind of share my experience, strength and hope with it, I more so love the manipulation and the lies I would tell myself that I wasn't that bad. You know what I mean? Like, I'd be like, Oh, it wasn't that bad. Like, you know, this, this, you know, what you're describing and the things I wouldn't remember, people would be like, Hey, do you remember what you did? And I'm like, no.
• 9:09
  You know, and I just was like, you know, why don't you tell me about it? And again, deep down, some of those things, like I knew it was like chipping away at my soul. And it was like create this like massive, massive, like shame and embarrassment and just complete guilt of like who I was and what I was doing. So it again, it's.
• 9:31
  It's interesting, like, you know, again, wake up the sun to get back to that point. I was training. I left training there. And one of the clients, she was like big into life coaching and writing and business coaching and all that good stuff. And she said, when you get your own place, you have to start a podcast and has to be called wake up the sun because this motivates me. She used to come to every 530 a.m., whether I was teaching it or my buddy Joe was teaching it. And man, when we opened this place in 2018, when you come down here, you come check it out.
• 10:01
  I said, I got to start a podcast. I said, I would. And I honored that. And she was right. I didn't know what I was doing. I'd been on a bunch of podcasts. I'd seen people with really cool setups like you and have all this cool studio stuff. And I had my buddy that I had done it. And I said, what did you use? And he showed me. And I went out and I bought it.
• 10:21
  set it up. I tried to do the video audio thing at the same time. And it became a little bit too, too much for me. So I just went to audio. And I do them live. I a lot of people said I need to do it this way. So I can connect with people out of state. But there's something about having that energy, right? Like we'll feel it here, you and I, but I also like to have people in the office, right? I used to do it in the waiting area of the gym. And it was kind of fun.
• 10:51
  But then, you know, people walking in and out and getting a little distracting. But there's a certain energy, right? And it's that certain energy of the morning, a certain energy of having people on the show and talking about, you know, what sparks them up. And it's all about routine rituals and consistency and what make people successful. So I can't wait to have you on the show when you're here.
• 11:11
  Well, I was just going to invite myself. So I'm definitely coming down and we're going to set a date before when we're done with this podcast. And I'll be down because I got to see Adam and I want to I got a lot of things I got to do. Like I said, I told Adam, I said, I met a new tribe, a new belonging at the at his mastermind. That was.
• 11:30
  You're going to be a forever friend, and you're extremely humble, and I love that. Here you are, a very successful business owner and influencer, and just yet to be a father, except to what, Phineas Mitchell Williams, the cat. And you and your wife, Chelsea, are intentional about it.
• 11:52
  when you're going to have children, not having children yet. And everything about you is intentional. And I have mad respect for that. And, and, and when you're, I, I, my assumption is that it comes from the not drinking. Cause when we were drinking for, at least I speak for me is I was intentional about my drinking. And, and I did the same thing, man. If, if, if social media were really prevalent back then, man, I, I have a video that,
• 12:16
  of me giving a speech at my 40th birthday that is so embarrassing that I save it just to, to make sure that I remember it. And I just, a Facebook memory just popped up of me on a boat wearing this goofy hat and I got a fifth of fireball and I'm reached out and you can see, I'm in good shape.
• 12:39
  But I'm just in the middle of the day drinking Fireball, and I downloaded that because I'm going to use it at one of these, my next speaking event when sobriety or bad habits or toxic behaviors are part of the solution. And Adam's got one coming up that I'm sure we'll all be at with Mike Diamond. So I want to remember that because I'm never going back. And now I'm in, 10 years later, I'm in better shape.
• 13:08
  I love myself and I would never in a million years put that poison in my body. So what would you, what advice would you give someone who has an unhealthy relationship with the Naughty Water and then...
• 13:21
  you know, I call it sober curious. I think there's a lot of people that are sober curious. What, what advice do you get? They hear it from me on the airways, rant and raving that my life changed, but some people just drown it out because I'm just obnoxious sometimes. And I like that, but what is it? You're so humble and relaxed and calm. And, and, and, and so what's your advice?
• 13:43
  Yeah, I mean, I guess like the same advice that – it wasn't even advice. The same that was told me. It's like how's your day-to-day looking, right? And I wasn't a day-to-day drinker, but they said every time that you drink, what's the end-all result? Like what is that doing for you? How is that serving you? What's the purpose behind it? I really didn't have an answer for that. And every time that I was in trouble, it was because I was –
• 14:11
  some under the influence of some form of alcohol, right? You know, and I enjoyed a lot of other things that, you know, eventually you graduate to because sometimes alcohol doesn't do the trick, right? And you need a stronger form of alcohol and, and, and, and doing a combination of a lot of things, right?
• 14:27
  So it never really served me. And that was the thing. And it's like, you go back to like, you know what, I can say like what my mom said, she's like, you know, I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. She goes, you work so hard, you dedicate yourself to working out at the gym, helping other people doing all these things. And then, you know, as it says, you know, in a series of sprees, or several hours, you tear everything down and you ruin it. And she was right, you know, and
• 14:53
  And it never served me. It was never, you know, I had fun. I enjoyed it. I loved it. And, you know, parties were great when I started. And, you know, even getting drunk and blackout, like, oh, it's so funny. And it's not as funny when you're, you know, you know, in the real world, right? Like showing up. I was a teacher. I was a coach. Showing up to school from the night before.
• 15:16
  hung over, maybe still a little drunk. Like I said, I'd never do that. And then, and then I did it. And then rather than look at that as like a problem or an issue, I rationalized it. And I said, Oh,
• 15:27
  Not that bad. And I had people being like, hey, like, dude, you're an alcoholic. Or, hey, like, maybe you should take a look at that. And my response to people, and these are people that loved and cared for me, was like, hey, cool. Thank you for your unsolicited opinion. You can go fuck yourself. And if you have a problem, you know.
• 15:46
  if you have a problem with me and how I'm living, like, you know, kick rocks and go somewhere else. And, and, and no, like truly deep down, I didn't want them to do that. And I was so scared of people really finding out who I was. So, you know, I always tell people, it's like, listen, there's a lot of ways to get sober. There's a lot of different things. And, you know, I, you know,
• 16:07
  throw myself into the gym and throw myself into, you know, like doing like the recovery practices, like breathing and meditation and cold plunging. And, you know, like I've tried hyperbaric chambers, I've tried cryotherapy, all these things to feel better. And that was like always the quest, right? It's like, what am I, what can I do to make myself feel better or take my mind off of what was going on? And, and, and again, I needed a lot of work, right? I needed to work, you know, for me personally, like, you know, I, I go to a fellowship group.
• 16:36
  I went to rehab. I went to rehab and I did the, I'm going to do 30 days. And I ended up staying there 90 days, fortunately, because I was able to. And working with therapists and dealing with painful things that I blamed my drinking on. Like the selfishness of like, oh man, if your dad died, you'd drink like me too. You know, like things like that, that, you know, who says that, right? It's just a sick person that- Hurt people. Yeah.
• 17:04
  Yeah. So you're triggering a bunch of things I put this morning because every once in a while I feel like, is this life that I'm choosing worth it? The choices that you make, you may actually be one of the few people that make me look tame. I watch everything you do and you do a lot of daily habits to stay sober and to win. Is it worth it?
• 17:31
  Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. What's the biggest benefit? The biggest benefit? Man, clear head. Waking up knowing where I am, worried about what I did.
• 17:45
  Again, not only just it's not about the not drinking and not drugging, right? It's about how am I living my life? Am I being a good husband? Am I being a good business owner? Am I being a good friend? Am I being a good son? And again, these are things that when I got help and I had a therapist reach out to my family and she said, I want you to write a letter.
• 18:06
  And I remember I got a letter from my mom, my two brothers. My dad had since passed from before that. And I really struggled with that when I was getting sober and really acknowledging and finally processing my dad's death, like again, four years later after it happened. But I remember my brother simply wrote a letter and he was very brief and to the point. And he goes, you're a tremendous son, brother, uncle. And he listed a couple of things.
• 18:31
  And it was along the lines of like, imagine what your life would be like if you didn't drink and how much better it would be and how much more you would show up. And that, like while it crushed me, it was right. It was true. And it hit the point of like, this is one chance, right? We get, again, we get, again, I don't know if you follow their podcasts, we get a lot of chances we can fuck up and we can try over and start over, but like we get one life, right? And we get one life.
• 18:59
  Right. Like I, I off this interview and God forbid I could drop dead, get hit by, not show up, not wake up tomorrow. And I think, you know, one of the biggest things ever since getting sober was, you know, I just talked about this on another podcast was like, what's that legacy going to be like?
• 19:15
  Are you leaving the world a better place? And for a long time, I wasn't. I would get on a call like this where I'd meet a guy like you and be like, what can I get from this guy? And how am I going to get it? And how am I going to manipulate this guy?
• 19:32
  Or how much freaking fun can we have together? That was a big one for me. I'm like, whoa, this dude lives in South Florida. He's got a boat. I'm freaking going to go and bring a bunch of women and we're going to get a bunch of cocaine and boats and hoes. And then you're like, that was fun, but I feel like shit.
• 19:55
  And I resonate with everything you say. We are very, very, very similar. I didn't go to rehab and I didn't have any of my, it was real close. When my dad died, and he died when I was very young, and I knew I had a problem with alcohol, but I went on for another 20-some years drinking, and then I just quit cold turkey. So everybody, different strokes for different folks, but get there because life gets really good. Just look how handsome you are. How old are you?
• 20:24
  I am going to be 42 in two months. Good grief. You look great. And, you know, it's amazing. I remember looking in the mirror when I drank and I'd be blotchy and puffy. And I just hated that. I wrote this down this morning. I actually did it and recorded it for my story. And I said, you know,
• 20:44
  Choose your heart. The work I do on myself daily is hard, but so is drinking, partying, and avoiding your feelings. I've been there, and it's tougher. Choose your heart. And I'm going to tell you, it's not easy what we do. And I watch you. You make it look a lot easier than even I do. I say I make it look easy, but...
• 21:01
  I've been in my fields the last two days and, and it's, it's usually God saying, Hey, we're teaching you, we're sending you something. And, uh, I'm, I'm available to receive it now. Whereas, like you said, when you had those feelings and thoughts, just took another drink. That's what I did. And I wouldn't have those feelings and thoughts and it sucks. That's no way to live life. Yeah. They would go away for a brief period of time, but come back even stronger.
• 21:27
  I want to remind everybody that you have several handles on social media. It's fro pro snacks, F R O P R O snacks or M M war Williams, M W A R W I L L I A M.
• 21:43
  I am S or wake up the sun show. And I want to talk about that again. Cause I, I didn't even realize you had a podcast, bro. And we talked, we just connected so quickly. I'm not, I, I followed it yesterday and I'm going to listen to it because I will, I'll be prepared when I get my butt down there. Um, wake up the sun show. It's available on Spotify. I know. Cause that's what I found. It is available on iTunes and it's not available on YouTube. iTunes and Spotify. I haven't. Yeah.
• 22:11
  There's so many different platforms. I went with Spotify and iTunes because it was the easiest to share and do all that. I haven't done really many videos. I'll record some stuff and post about it. But Spotify, iTunes for Wake Up The Sun show are coming up literally at the end of this month. It'll be four years of the show, which is kind of crazy. And just – it's awesome, man. I've had –
• 22:32
  You know, I've had doctors, I've had lawyers, I've had professional athletes. And again, just through people and introductions of being down here and people I've run into over the years. And, you know, my whole purpose of that is to understand why successful people are successful routines, rituals and consistency. Right. And like, you know, what what about them? And I've had some shows that go completely different direction and they talk about.
• 22:56
  just some stuff that's on their, on their heart or in their head. And, and, you know, it's, it's pretty, it's pretty incredible, man. And I'm grateful to be able to do it. And like, I don't monetize it. I don't do anything like that. It's literally me sitting down with people and getting like this and chop it up. And eventually if it could be, and someone was like, Hey, you should monetize this and do this and do that. I'm like, cool. Um, but it's, again, it's one of the,
• 23:19
  I really enjoy it. I love it too. But I have a great, like you do, that's why we're brothers from another mother. I love my day job of the IT and I love being right here behind the microphone. And I love handing me a microphone, getting on stage. I just, I love giving back, which we're going to talk about in two seconds. But you have two master's degrees. What are they? And give us the backstory on that.
• 23:46
  Yeah. So, wow, man, I graduated college. I did like a fifth year kind of deal where a bunch of us got jobs right out of college, working in the finance world. Well, I had no business of being in, but there was the people component, which I really enjoyed. And that was like, oh, go out to bars, entertain clients, go play golf and do all this other stuff. I was going to interrupt you. The people and the partying component. That was great. But that was the thing.
• 24:16
  Maryland, right? Like right outside of Bethesda. And two of my buddies, we, you know, we got a place and, you know, we went to work for this company. I didn't last very long because I just wasn't like enthused about it. And, you know, I went back to like caddying and working at something else. And I was like, I'm going to go back to school and I'm going to be a teacher. So I, you know, checked that out and I went and got my master's in education.
• 24:38
  I did a full year of student teaching and the whole process of getting involved. And, you know, all while this is going on, I'm drinking and drugging and being acting the fool and all that. But I also still like in the summers, I was a director of a camp, a camp that I went to when I was a kid back in my hometown. So I always was trying to, you know, figure out like, oh, this teaching life is really great, you know, and.
• 25:04
  I really enjoyed it. And then after I did that, I was like, well, what do I do next? You know, if I got a master's in education, what's the next step? And a lot of people go to administration or do something else. And I was like, oh, I kind of want to like work more in depth. So it was like, let me get a counseling degree. And so I started the counseling degree. And all around that time, as I was wrapping up, I had an opportunity to move down to Florida.
• 25:25
  And, you know, my mind, I was like, dude, start fresh. I'm 27 years old, like no more drinking in the city. And like that triangle of terror of being in Connecticut and New York City and going back home to visit my mom and all my friends that were a lot younger and getting younger. Because like a lot of people I drank with caught on pretty quickly that I was a mess and like no one wanted to be around me. So I would find younger people to drink with. So I moved down here and that was...
• 25:53
  it. So like the degrees and the education and everything is great. And I kind of like look back and like, man, I don't do anything. I studied Spanish. I traveled and lived abroad for two semesters and I can understand it. And like, that's great. And you know, I used to like really beat myself up cause I was paying for that man out of pocket. Like I was like paying for school and
• 26:18
  I carried that for a while until I paid it off in sobriety where I was working really hard. I remember cutting that last check to the university where you pay stuff with interest and you're like, dude, I just paid so much money. How am I this much farther back than I was when I started? That process, right? It eats up a lot of people. Yeah, I don't regret it, man. I used to. I don't regret it.
• 26:44
  Well, I would tell you that that's what makes you, you, uh, you, your emotional intelligence is off the charts and it comes from doing to, I don't have a master's degree. I have a master's degree in screwing up and a PhD and, and gain fixing it. But I mean, I got a degree, uh, uh, uh, bachelor of science and in criminal justice. Uh, but after that, it was the school of hard knocks, man. It was, it was go to work, go to war and let's win. Um, and I was doing that while drinking and, and,
• 27:14
  It really wasn't.
• 27:15
  it was at the very end where I picked up the drugs. I really didn't like drugs. Even though I got arrested for selling drugs, I just, I didn't really, I didn't even try anything until well after I got arrested because I just, my dad died of drugs and it just wasn't my thing. And, but I sold so much of it. I'm like, what is so special about this stuff? And I tried it. It didn't do anything for me. And then at the very end, when I knew I needed to stop drinking, it would give me the energy to keep drinking. And then when I knew I did that, I'm like,
• 27:45
  I just got to stop. This is just stupid. And, you know, I drink more to feel worse. And it just was a self-fulfilling negative hellhole. And, you know, it's quicker and easier to just deal with the reason why you drink in the first place, which I didn't know there was a reason. I just thought I was having fun. It wasn't until a year and a half into my sobriety.
• 28:09
  that all of the emotions started really hitting. And it hit it right at the same time as the pandemic and the whole country sat down. You guys were in Florida. You didn't experience it that much. But in Michigan, it was brutal. And I spent my emotional time completely alone. And so everything hit me at once. And I know one, you know, you fight, fight, what, fight, flight, or freeze. I know one thing, and it's fight. And I'm going to fight like a dog. And when you challenge me, good luck.
• 28:38
  Good luck because I'm coming hard. I got many, many, many. Oh, so you are also a big philanthropist. Talk about the caring kitchen, eat better, live better, and all about that. Because it just kind of comes with the sobriety and feeling good and doing good. We end up giving back. Well, it's interesting because I got exposed to the caring kitchen because I was –
• 29:08
  on probation and one of the requirements was community service. And it was a, it was just a local spot that was right here in Delray. And, you know, you don't pay attention to some of the areas that, you know, could be in a severe crisis. Right. And it was right around the corner from where I was living and it was, you know,
• 29:24
  you know, scraping by for, you know, to get food or to get some clothes. And I would go there, you know, once or twice a week as part of my, you know, as part of my probation, I had to show up there. And it was, it was, it was intense, you know, and I would get in the van and you'd go pick up, you know, you know, stuff that was being donated from Publix or foods that were, you know, just couldn't be reserved from like Chipotle. And then you'd bring it back to the kitchen and
• 29:50
  He literally put a bunch of stuff together and kind of feed the community that needed it. And it was interesting. The Cairn Kitchen, I thought, went away and recently just kind of
• 30:02
  full circle came back as I was supporting a buddy of mine with his business and kind of battling the Delray beach, like a city hall for a permit. I ran into somebody that happened to work for eat better, live better, which was connected to the caring kitchen. And it's, and it's great. You know, it's like a newer thing. We're trying to figure that out. You know, we did, we did have a fro pro foundation for a while, but like running a foundation is like a full-time job.
• 30:27
  And it was just at the time, it was just my wife and I. So we kind of put that on the back burner and kind of, I don't want to say, or put it on the shelf, right? Because again, we couldn't do all the things. And, you know, we're, we're looking at bringing that back and we're looking at doing a lot of things. Cause I think, again, like I mentioned before, like I took a lot, you know, I was raised really well. My parents are amazing people, but I took a lot, you know, and I reached a point, you
• 30:54
  you know, crossed over a line where I took, took, took, took, took. And, you know, there was no giving back. And I think, you know, one of the biggest things that we can do is give back. And a lot of people gave to me again, like I said, when I didn't feel like I deserved it, I wasn't really in a space of like, I wasn't like, I'm not worthy to receive love. I don't know how to give love. I'm in a dark place. Um, and I think it's, it's,
• 31:17
  important right because especially down here in south florida man it's a huge recovery community and there's a lot of you know there's a lot of darkness down here with you know some some stuff that goes that goes on and you know businesses open down here in florida because they can get away with things and there's like they call that gray area of like how people operate and like you
• 31:38
  and I don't necessarily agree with it all, but again, it's not, none of my business, but if I can make a contribution in a positive way, um, and be as vulnerable and honest as I can, like people were with me, then I feel like, you know, I'm, I'm in a good spot to do it. And if I can do it, I'll do it. And, uh, I think that's, that's always been important to me. And that was important to my, you know, my family, you know, my dad growing up and,
• 32:03
  helping the church and, you know, going to serve the homeless shelters on Thanksgiving. And like, I learned that, you know, I remember those things and, and not, you know, as a kid, I'm like, wow, I want to go serve Turkey to people or go Christmas morning. And his thing was like, because there's people out there that don't get to enjoy what we, I was like,
• 32:23
  That receiving love thing hits home. I don't know if it's an alcoholism thing, but up until very recently, I still couldn't receive it. It made me woozy. So I'm working on that, and it's a tough one, which leads me to the next story, which I love. In 2009, you were...
• 32:44
  You were a school teacher. And so I don't want to steal the thunder. Tell how you met your wife, Chelsea, and how it she kind of went through with the sobriety journey and how important it is to have a supportive. Significant other. Yeah, no, my wife's the best man. And I'm fortunate. I, you know, whatever, however you want to say it, I outkick my coverage, like, you know,
• 33:10
  One of the things where when we met, it was, you know, it was, she was working for a family. There was three kids. I had one of the kids in my class. She, you know, again.
• 33:22
  dropped by one day, I saw her like walk, like, Oh, my gosh, who's that? You know, I thought it was like, one of the older sisters of the kids that I was, you know, one of the kids. And, you know, obviously asked, Oh, he's like, Hey, who is that? And, you know, kids at fourth grade are like, well, why Mr. Williams? I'm like, I don't know. Is that is that your sister is was that like, it's not your mom. And it got back to her. And funny, she, you know, came in the next day and
• 33:47
  We chatted a little bit. And then one time she came in and dropped the kid's violin off. And I popped my head out. I was like, hey, do you want to go out, grab a drink or something? And that's how we connected. And the crazy thing was is that she never really saw me.
• 34:07
  at my worst, right? Like I called it that zombie mode of like, you over serve yourself and you're like, you know, like you're out of it. Right. But we partied together a little bit. We drank, we smoked, we hung out, like, you know, what normal people do for the most part.
• 34:23
  You know, we'd been dating a couple of weeks and she knew I was like, I'm going back to New York. Like, let's just have fun. And that was never my MO. It was just like, I want to hang out with a cool, cool chick and she's great and we'll have some fun. And then my world fell apart and I got the DUI and I crashed a car and I was facing, you know, 10 years of baggage and in a short amount of time. And I, I bet, you know, I told her, I was like, you know, run the other way, you know, like.
• 34:53
  Like, you're young, you're beautiful, you're smart. I'm just fucking my life up and you should go. And no harm, no foul.
• 35:04
  And she did, you know, she stuck around and, you know, she picked, she, she was the one that picked me up from jail. Um, and she's the one, you know, against her family being like, Hey, yeah, he's really nice guy, but like, what the fuck are you doing? You know, like he's, he's, he's not, you know, he's got tattoos and he's, you know, lost his job and he's looking at jail time and what are you doing? And.
• 35:28
  And she just said, yeah, no, there's something about them. It's good to be believed in, Matt. And she made the right choice. You're a beautiful, beautiful human inside and out. And you guys are good together. That's a great story. And it's one that I wanted to make sure that your listeners listened to because good things happen to good people. And you're a wonderful person. Was that the proverbial rock bottom that crashed in the car and getting arrested? Is that what made you finally say, okay, I've had enough?
• 35:59
  Yeah, it wasn't. Or was there more? No, I mean, that was it. I mean, there wasn't the first time I crashed a car. But it was the first time that I felt emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually, all those bottoms rolled into one. It was a lot for me because I got out of there. I knew I was in trouble. I knew my...
• 36:27
  I knew the game was over. And saying that and truly meaning the fact that there was a piece of me that was like, I want to take myself out because I just felt like such a loser. I just was like, I did it again.
• 36:43
  And, you know, I'm losing, you know, I'm losing my job. I'm losing all these different things that I thoroughly enjoy because I can't stop drinking. And again, like, you know, what's crazy is like when you come here and you visit and you come down, I'll show you like the road that my business is on. And it's like I used to live right up the road. And I remember coming off 95 and Chelsea's driving me back. And I was like, how am I going to kill myself when I get home? Did you say that to her?
• 37:12
  No, no, this is in my head. He's going to drop me off. And then again, I'm like, I'm the biggest coward ever. How am I going to even do that? I won't even do that right. But those are the thoughts I was having because I was just such in this lonely phase of my job is gone, my car is gone, my credibility is gone. I have no more money. I can't do this. I can't do that. I'm just exhausted. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
• 37:42
  And, you know, what's crazy about it, right, is like, you know, if I'm having a rough go or I'm like creating some nonsense in my head, like we were talking about before, about being through tough times and maybe facing some adversity and sobriety and business and whatever. You know, I have a guy in my life, he'll be like, you know, he's sometimes like, hey, Matt, and I'll call him. He's like, do me a favor. Why don't you poke your head out the door? Go take a look at the road that, you know, 13 years ago you wanted to kill yourself on.
• 38:11
  and maybe reevaluate where you're at right now and how far you've come. And I need those reminders. And I need that in my life because again, I can quickly forget and go right into that pity party mode of like poor me and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, there's no, what does it serve? It doesn't serve. And it never serves. You went from being the prey to the predator and boy, did you do that well.
• 38:35
  A couple of things that I wrote down from that was that you're, you said it as being a coward. And I feel the same way when somebody even brings up suicide, but,
• 38:46
  It's not it's not they're not being a coward. They're just they think there's no other way. And they think the world is better off without him. So, again, I always like to put a disclaimer that if you're feeling that, please reach out to somebody. Reach out to Matt. Reach out to me. We care. You matter. And there are options. So that's number one. Number two is and by the way, I felt those feelings. And usually when I woke up, I call it anxiety. I woke up. I'm like, what did I do and why did I do it?
• 39:11
  And the sick and tired, I think you stole that from me, was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It just got old. And I'm going to give another plug to Chelsea because God sent you her as a gift. And I would tell you that it would have been a lot harder for you.
• 39:26
  And I'll give you a chance to talk about this, but it would have been a lot harder for you had she been not in your life because that love and that peace and that rock that was there just when you hit rock bottom, that was a gift from God. So I think you know that.
• 39:42
  I do it alone and on top of it, my ex-wife and my ex-girlfriend tried to make my life harder. So that's why I named everything Heart of the Life because, man, everything I've been through has been like, oh, Jesus. But I am thick-headed and stubborn. And like most people that drink and drug, they think that everything's fine. I always justified it, like you said, as long as I went to the gym and went to work the next day and I didn't drink and drive, I had a driver, that everything was fine.
• 40:12
  I was so wrong. And I would say, how good can you handle life? Quit drinking. But I want to give you a minute to talk about that because I just put those words in your mouth. Do you believe that God gave you that gift? Because having that love and not having to do it alone is a little microcosm, a little bit easier. Not what you did is not easy. But when you go from wanting to kill yourself to having the love of Chelsea, talk about that.
• 40:43
  Yeah, man. I mean, it's again, it's one of those things that I thank God every day. You know, I'm a prayer guy and I thank God every day that she was put in my life, that she was there and we met, you know, like, you know, my brother calls it like the universal sense of humor. It's like, you know, that didn't happen by mistake where you met her right before you went through the hardest time in your life.
• 41:06
  I share my story sometimes. I kind of say, the gal that picked me up from jail and I told her to run the other way is now my wife and now my business partner and now the CEO of FROPRO. She is really an amazing human person, caregiver, wife, teammate, whatever you want to call
• 41:28
  I always say it's the only honest communication I ever had when my life changed. I can go to her. Dude, she knows when there needs to be that love, and then she knows when she needs to be that tough love. When I go through things and I'm talking about it, she'll be like, snap out of that shit. Let's go. I love her already. I cannot wait to meet her. Yeah.
• 41:55
  Yeah, and she's, you know, and she's again, like, you know, a lot of a lot of my buddies around here that, you know, got their life together. You know, they you know, it's it's funny, like they call her mom, you know, because she has that that really nurturing. She was a teacher, too. She you know, she was a nanny.
• 42:10
  And she went through her tough times. And the crazy thing was, is she went and handled it too. And she took the steps necessary to come off medications that she had been on and blamed shit on. And she went and got some help and did a week away at a process kind of looking at childhood trauma and life and
• 42:31
  talked about it openly. Um, you know, we did a, you know, she's like, I want to come on the podcast and talk about it. I was like, holy shit, let's do it. You know, let's do it. Power couple, man, Beyonce and Jay Z. I love it. There's so much love and I can feel it. I, uh, I just, God, it warms my heart. I, I, I've, I've been single for two years and it's just, that's the last missing piece is finding. But when you, you found yours or God gave you a gift, she's an angel. Um,
• 42:59
  Now, when you live this lifestyle, you kind of scare people away because when they first when people first meet me, they think I'm. I'm bullshitting and then they watch and say, oh, Jesus, he is insane. And I say insane joke. It's the life that we live. So life we choose. I've intentionally chosen us.
• 43:19
  Yeah, I mean, I think people, when you see someone committed and you see people living with integrity and, you know, I've been used to being very intense and I'm very intense about my life and my sobriety because it gave me this, I get to do every day. So I don't take it for granted. And I don't, I don't like to ease up on it because I know if I ease up and I go, you know, again, I'm not saying like, don't relax, but like if I ease up on, on my sobriety, all this goes away.
• 43:46
  Oh, you know how many times... That's so funny you said that. How many times... I struggle with the level of my... If I was an alcoholic, I never went to AA. I never did anything. I was able to walk away cold turkey. So I guess it wasn't powerless over alcohol. And I always think like...
• 44:04
  Maybe I can just have one and then I snap right out of it and go, I feel so good. What would I ever want to have one for? To make somebody else feel better? That's just insanity. What were you put on this? No, no. What is this? What makes you get out of bed in the morning?
• 44:25
  Man, I think sometimes when I hear that question, it's the fear of missing out because I want to do a lot of things in life, you know, and I just, I wake up, man, we talked about this, right? You wake up with like that zest for like, man, I want to go do shit. I want to go crush shit. I want to go kill shit. I want to go enjoy shit. I want to do it. So again, like I think, you know, for me, it's like getting to do what I get to do every day. You know, I've had the cases of the Sunday scaries, you know, oh my God, here we go on Monday.
• 44:54
  And I learned even in sobriety, if I'm getting to that point with anything that I'm doing, I need to really take a look at it and maybe I shouldn't be doing it anymore. But fortunately, between fro-pro, coaching clients, coaching recovery clients, playing pickleball, playing golf, traveling, working, helping out, supporting my friends, doing whatever I can, working at charity. And that's just in one day of your life if you watch your stories. Right.
• 45:19
  That's what I'm saying. You have the energy of you tire me out and I go, I'm a waking up the sun guy. And if you see, that's why we're connected. You see, I post the sun rising and setting a lot. I don't know what it is.
• 45:34
  But something about seeing the sunrise and the sunset just warms my heart because I never paid attention to anything other than where the next party was. Where can I go have more fun and push the envelope to the point of freaking stupidity? And then which is the next girl that I could go and woo? Yeah.
• 45:55
  now God is teaching me to be completely alone and I'm fine with it and I see the sun you'll see me post it every morning not every morning but a lot of mornings and that's what made me move to South Florida I'm on the West Coast but I was watching the sunset every morning in Naples sunset every night at Naples Pier and I'm like this is amazing what am I doing in Michigan and that's the other thing
• 46:22
  scientifically it's again, I'm not the biggest science guy, but it's like the whole circadian rhythm thing is we wake up with the sun and we put the sun to sleep. And those are typically what we should be doing because that like regulates our body and what we're supposed to be doing. And like you talk about, you know, I do, I sometimes like if it gets to be 10 o'clock and I'm like, a dinner has gone long. And I look at that. I'm like, you know, back in the day, 10 o'clock was just when I was like getting ready to go do damage. And I'm like,
• 46:51
  And now I'm like, man, if I'm not in bed by 10 or home or winding down, you know, I played like two, we had doubleheader softball last night. Not the biggest fan of that late. It was fun, but you know, it throws everything off, you know, like I, you know,
• 47:05
  I know what I need to do every morning. I know what I do throughout the day. And, you know, when something throws it off, even though it's enjoyable, cause I'm with my buddies. Um, it's like, is this really, is this really serving a purpose? You know, I'll stay out as midnight. That's, that's about as late as I can do. And I'm still up at 5am. So it's funny. Cause you talk about a work dinner when we were drinking. I, if you had a work dinner by 10 o'clock, you were right. You were in fricking,
• 47:32
  probably about third gear ready to go because I've had about 10 freaking scotches in me. And nobody could tell because I had 210 pounds of solid muscle. And it was, I had a tolerance like no other. And it was like, okay, I'd be texting my driver like, okay, pick me up at this restaurant. And it's on. It didn't matter what day it was. It's like, let's go. Let's go have some fun. And that was what oiled it up. But that was fun. It was fun while it lasted until it wasn't.
• 48:00
  What were you put on this earth to do? Sling peanut butter. Frickin' so good. By the way, we skipped over. I asked you the question. We just talked about how you did. The FroPro snacks are available on Amazon, right? What's the best way for people to get them? They're so good. I appreciate it. Yeah, I mean, it's whatever your convenience level is. Obviously, coming directly to our website is the best.
• 48:27
  bro, bro.com. Um, you can get them, you can get them on Amazon, Amazon prime. Um, if you're in the state of Florida, you can go to whole foods. Um, you can even go to our website if, and check whatever state you do live in. Cause there are some stores, some grocery stores, some chains that we are in. Um, but yeah, if you go online, preferably our website, but however you shop,
• 48:45
  We're just grateful for the support. So yeah, it's cool. And if you have any questions, if you do write in, you're going to get probably Chelsea or someone on our team. And if you have any questions about anything we talked about on the podcast too, you can reach out directly to me at any one of those Instagram channels we talked about, or I even throw this out there. You can reach me on my cell phone, which is 914-772-6343.
• 49:11
  I'm happy to help if I can. I love feedback. So I'm already inviting solicited opinions. If you have any opinions that you'd like to share with me. But what was I put on this earth for? You know, I'd be foolish to say that I know what that is.
• 49:31
  I'm really happy what I'm doing now. Uh, I love being a service, uh, providing some value, experience, strength, and hope using my dark past to light, uh, you know, to light up someone else's life and hopefully help other people along the along the journey. Um, and yeah, to, to just, to just do it. You're just a remarkable human being. I'm going to make a statement. I have a question here, but I'm going to make it a statement because we've already talked about it. I was going to ask about hobbies and interests, but, um,
• 49:58
  You talked about it, pickleballs, softballs, working out. Any. Tasting the sun. But I said, you know what I love about you is that I want to be you, number one. Number two is you can't even tell if you're working or playing. And that is such an – I want to get there where everything in life – like producer is nodding his head. That's when you've achieved –
• 50:27
  the Mecca, in my opinion, where you don't know if you're working or playing, or even on top of it, I noticed that you make the fun when you're doing, I know you, but I know when you're doing charity, you're even having a smile on your face, having fun doing that. The balance in your life is amazing, and I'm gonna make a longer trip to hang out with you because I wanna feel your energy, and I'm with you with the face-to-face stuff. So kudos to you, that was, I answered your own question, but where do you see yourself in the next few years?
• 50:59
  man, hopefully getting to do this in other cities and other states and meeting people like we talked about on our kind of follow-up call from, you know, the event that Adam hosted, the opportunity to go to different places and learn about different people and kind of, you know, take the message, right, and carry the message like I was told to do, you know, about how great life can be. And if you're feeling stuck, helping those people and just doing that, right, you know,
• 51:26
  Again, I appreciate the kind words like there's days where, you know, I'm, you know, running from a client to cold plunging to loading a truck with pro pro, but you know, it really doesn't feel like work. It really feels like I'm blessed, right. To, to be, cause I've done the nine to five, I've worked for the schools, I've worked for the corporate companies and there's nothing wrong with that. And right now I'm doing this, you know, maybe that changes. I have no idea. Just like, I just, I don't know. I love the process of, of, of what I get to do and who I get to do it with.
• 51:55
  We've talked a lot about it, but we haven't talked about it, actually, what it is, the contrast between the life we used to live to the life we live now. And listen, there's a lot of people out there sober curious or don't think that they have a problem with alcohol. I didn't think I had a problem. And I really didn't. I was a functioning drinker. And I was a highly functioning drinker. I made a lot of money, but I was miserable.
• 52:20
  And more than likely, if you are drinking to get drunk and you get drunk more than a couple of times a month,
• 52:28
  there's some issues there and you need to address it. And I'm going to tell you, once you do, look at our lives. They get freaking amazingly better. So I'm with you on carrying that torch, man. And I put a post up that's going viral right now where it said, my worst day sober is better than my best day drinking. And I got a lot of people like that. You were hanging out with the wrong people. I'm like, are you freaking kidding me? I've partied with celebrities. When you're running amok,
• 52:56
  like I did and you look like I do, you get invited to some really cool parties. That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard anybody say. And I would invite them to come party with me. They can drink and I'll be sober and see if they can even keep up then. Because if you watch my stories, I still go out and party with all my drinking friends.
• 53:15
  And I just remember the next day and I don't freaking have a problem with anything. I can drive home. And when I drive home, it's the most rewarding thing because I don't, I drive super freaking fast and I don't care because pull me over. And that's what happens. They pull me over. I hand them my gun permit and they go, why are you driving so fast? I go, cause I'm happy. And they go slow down. Have you been drinking? Nope. And then they say, slow down. And I never get a ticket because they're expecting you to get a D they think you're going to be drunk and good luck with that one.
• 53:45
  What's one thing about you that people might be surprised to know? Ooh, that's going to get you. Yeah. I mean, I, I, I don't, I don't feel like there's any, I've, I've, I've, I'm pretty open book. Um, one thing about me that people would be surprised to know. I'll poke out, I'll, I'll pick out one. Um, I don't think people have picked this up, but the school teacher got the nanny. Yeah.
• 54:14
  Yeah, no, people, it's funny when people hear that story and it's, it seems like so long ago, but yeah, man, I, I, you know, one thing people would be surprised at, um, I, I mean, people know I'm competitive. I don't know, man. I think if you know me, um, you know, you know me and you know, I have my, I can have highs and lows. Oh, I can,
• 54:38
  you know, for the most part, I'm pretty dialed in and feel good about it. I don't want to like to be negative, but like, I'll still beat myself up. Like, those are the things I can still do even in sobriety. Right. Like, you know, like, yeah, I guess that that could be it because I remember I was talking to one of my buddies years ago and I was expressing just kind of like some, some challenges and he's like, Oh man, you still have those. And I'm like,
• 55:02
  Yeah, bro, I'm a human being, of course. But the time that you have those is so small. If you're like me. So I have moments. I've had them the last two days. But I have so many rituals and habits. Excuse me, I'll meditate. I'll journal. I will go strenuously work. I have so many things. And then every once in a while, it's a big sign from God, and I just sit in it.
• 55:29
  Yeah, exactly. And I don't, you know, numbing it isn't going to work. So I'm with you on that. I love it. And what I think you were saying humbly is that you're genuine and authentic. And I love that about you. I appreciate it, man. If you could have dinner with one person who's alive or dead, who would it be and why? Oh, man. These are. No one ever asked me. I know. I like to know. I like to get to know my guests and I want to get to know you.
• 56:00
  Man, there's so many people. So I'm just reading this book right now because my brother gave it to me, RFK. Just I would love to pick his brain just because I know like he, there's a lot of people that hate him, a lot of people that love him. Um, he might be running for president. We don't know. Uh, but yeah, just his book is pretty interesting because he's a sober dude. And I didn't know that before. Um, and he went through a lot of pain, trials and tribulations, even with his last name, obviously the Kennedy's. Um.
• 56:29
  That would be an interesting dinner or lunch. And he's jacked, bro. Yeah, he's strong. He's 60 years old and jacked.
• 56:38
  If I could in the music business, Chris Cornell, I thought he was a tremendous artist and I would have loved to pick his brain and just like jammed out with him. And then this is gonna sound funny, but man, Justin Timberlake dude, alive. I'd love to go play a round of golf with that dude and just be like, what's it like being you, brother? So I asked what you, that's the best anybody's ever answered that question by the way.
• 57:06
  You gave me three. Because my hall pass, Jessica Biel. I love you. I love you. I can't wait to see you, man. If you could create one universal law that we all had to follow, what would it be and why? Ooh. Live with integrity. Yeah.
• 57:34
  my personal core value and my business core value integrity is everything because when we drank integrity is out the window who could i 100 who could i uh who could i mess with man and you know i was a big guy and couldn't mess with me that's a good one thank you how can i personally support you
• 57:56
  This is it, man. Right here, doing these. Hopefully you come visit. You, me, and Adam can run around, work out, have a good time, jump in some ice. Even if I can't pin him down, I will be down there soon because I want to come down and I don't want to lose the momentum that we've had. We get some energy together, you're going to see.
• 58:14
  Yeah, but if you go to Naples, I can bring my podcast stuff. We do it over there, too. I mean, Naples is... I got a bunch of things over there. I got a marketing guy in Jupiter. I got to see... I want to see you. I want to see Adam. I got some... I have a million friends right in that area. Now, you want to laugh? I will... I don't think I've ever said this. I may or may not. I may have told you this. When I was looking to build in Florida, I really wanted to be right by you. And I just knew this is making a conscious decision. Had I gone there...
• 58:44
  my sobriety and my integrity would have been tested hard. There's just so many temptations. So I chose the other side where it's sleepy and quiet. So I made, that's putting yourself in winning situations.
• 58:58
  Great sunsets over there. It is beautiful. I will tell you, remind everybody to go to your social media. It'll be in the show notes. Try these FroPro snacks out, guys. They're delicious. Remember, these are not protein bars. They're only 10 grams of protein, but they're snacks, and they're delicious. I chomp them like they're going out of style. Yeah.
• 59:20
  just awesome. They're available on, uh, uh, Amazon and also fro pro fro pro pro stands for frozen protein. Just everybody knows it's nothing, nothing, uh, widely crazy because, uh, our friend Matt is, is very calm and humble and, and simple. And I love it.
• 59:38
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• 1:00:02
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