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Who do narcissists end up marrying? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  So who do narcissists marry? We all, we all.
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  Look, I've done videos before on why narcissists get married.
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  I'll touch on it again today. But who do they marry?
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  Do they marry the love of their life?
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  Who the hell do narcissists end up settling down with and
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  getting walking down the aisle with?
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist and welcome to another episode of
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  The Narcissist Code. Let's get it.
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  Boom. Welcome back, folks.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Yeah, Yo, who? Who do they marry?
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  Who does a narcissist or a toxic person decide to settle down
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  with this? Y'all, I got this question the
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  other day in my support group. Actually you can find all my
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  support group, all my stuff and mental illness.net every single
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  thing about me. But I got this question the
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  other day. It's profound.
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  Like who? Who do they marry?
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  Who they're happy with? Do they marry the grade A
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  supply? Who the hell do narcissist
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  marry? So let me ask you, let me say
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  this right here, y'all to me, it really depends, right?
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  There's no foolproof way to to determine who a narcissist or
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  toxic person will marry. There's no way to fully decide
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  like this is the person right here that they're going to marry
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  because just because they marry you, and let me say this right
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  here, just because they marry you does not mean that they love
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  and care about you. I feel like I have to say that
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  because some people get it twisted up.
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  Just because a narcissist marries you does not mean that
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  they fully care, support you, want to be there with you.
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  That is just not how it works. Y'all?
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  That's not how it goes with narcissistic people.
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  Like narcissist marry a lot of times because they marry who
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  fits them the most sometimes right?
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  Who who that is. And when I say fits them the
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  most, it does not mean that they love this person the most.
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  People get this so twisted and tied up that you, you really do
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  like some is people get it so tied up and twisted because they
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  think that narcissistic people marry who they love.
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  No, This is why a lot of times you see a lot of narcissistic
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  people out here who have been married multiple upon multiple
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  times. Like, I've talked to, I talked
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  to one woman. She said she found out she was
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  wife #7 wife #7 he was still using the line.
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  I never felt this way about anybody before.
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  Still using the same line. Of course.
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  Y'all like she knew she was. She knew he had been married and
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  divorced 6 times and and still married him.
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  No, she thought he'd been married and divorced two or
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  three times and she didn't find out until she went to file for
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  divorce that he'd been married a bunch of additional times that
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  he lied about that he knew. Yeah, he knew he was a problem.
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  He knew that he was an issue. So he kept lying about who who
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  he was and what he actually was trying to do, what he was trying
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  to accomplish and what not. He was just lying because he
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  knew being married six previous times was a was a bunch of shit
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  that is going to get him caught up.
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  Like nobody wants to marry somebody who've been married six
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  or seven times unless they rich and got money and then y'all
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  just that's what y'all looking for, right?
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  You know, if you marry somebody who've been married 789 times, I
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  don't just me personally it it don't feel to me that you
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  looking for love, but I digress, y'all?
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  No, you marry marry who you want to marry at the end of the day.
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  But narcissistic people marry because they need supply.
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  Narcissistic people choose the persons they feel like would be
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  the most consistent supply a lot of the times, not because they
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  are head over heels in love with this person, but because this
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  person might be might be the person who's going to stick
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  through the BS. Again, I'm not saying that this
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  happens every single time. You might have got 1 you like
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  you might be married to a narcissist.
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  They do something wrong to you one time and you get divorced.
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  This is not about that right here, right?
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  They might think that this high it's going to be, but a lot of
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  times they get married because like they marry, they pick who
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  they want to marry based on that right there.
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  Who's going to be the most consistent supply for me
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  throughout this time? And just because they get
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  married doesn't mean that they plan on staying married.
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  A lot of times who they marry, they just determine who's going
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  to who fits me right now, right now, right now, who fits me
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  right now in this moment because I know that I'm going to change.
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  I know that things are going to change.
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  I know that we both are probably going to change over the years,
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  but I know that I at least I have you like I married somebody
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  who is going to be there with me through thick and thin or
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  whatever, no matter what I do, because it's going to be a lot
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  of thin times. Like narcissistic people
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  sometimes will go out and marry somebody just so they can go out
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  here and cheat in peace. Because, and this is going to
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  sound absolutely crazy y'all, but there are some narcissistic
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  people out there who want to cheat, but they get married.
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  So the the rejection feels, it doesn't feel as bad.
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  Think about that. I go out here, I'm married, I go
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  to the bar and I'm flirting and I'm getting rejected.
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  I got somebody at home to go home to.
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  The rejection doesn't hurt, still hurts, still sucks, but at
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  least I got somebody to go home to, right?
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  So it's a numbers game so I can run these numbers up because I
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  am who I am. I am I'm who I want to be.
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  I'm doing what I want to do. This is the scenario and this is
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  the situation that so many people fall into when you find
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  when you're dealing with an abuser.
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  Y'all, I feel like that right there just gets into people's
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  heads. Like if you ask a narcissist why
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  they married you, ask him, ask. You can ask him straight up.
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  Go ask him if you're, if you, if they're not going to hurt you or
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  harm you or something like that. You can ask him straight up,
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  Hey, hey Boo, why did you marry me and wait for the answer.
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  A lot of times the reason why they married you or the reason
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  why they have you around, keep you around, is because it's
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  beneficial to them in some way, shape or form.
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  It's greatly beneficial to them to keep you around, to have you
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  around, to have you here. They love it because they can
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  benefit from it. They can get something from you,
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  right? They'll tell you that the reason
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  they love you, the reason that they married you is because it
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  provides some type of benefit to them.
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  Who can benefit me the most? That's how they pick somebody.
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  That's how they pick people sometimes.
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  That's how they pick a husband or wife sometimes or partner or
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  spouse. They choose them based on who
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  can benefit them the most. And I know that sounds asinine.
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  I know that sounds crazy because your, your mind doesn't work
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  that way, right? For most times, your mind
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  doesn't, your mind doesn't go into that, go into the depths
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  like that. But a narcissist, a narcissist's
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  mind absolutely will. A narcissist's mind absolutely
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  will twist up to the fact twist up to the point where they
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  absolutely will marry somebody just because it serves them.
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  It serves a great purpose right now.
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  So that's something you have to consider before walking down the
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  aisle with a narcissistic person.
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  Who do they marry somebody that they want they don't want to
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  lose. Think about that right there.
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  Need to think about that right there.
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  What I just said. Who do narcissists marry
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  somebody that they don't want to lose?
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  I know you might have take took that as well.
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  Oh, Lord Lee, that means that they love me.
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  They don't want to lose me. I'm going to go back.
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  I'm going to call off the divorce.
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  I'm going to end the separation. No, that's not what I said.
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  I said they don't want to lose you.
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  They didn't. That doesn't mean that they
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  still care like that, right? I'm not saying that.
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  I'm not saying the narcissist never care or never love, right?
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  I'm not saying that they don't, they don't get married because
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  they love you. I'm not saying that, but
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  sometimes they just marry you because they don't want to lose
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  you. Leave that.
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  If that doesn't mean that they love me, what the hell does that
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  mean? It means that they're you're on
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  the verge of leaving. You're about to break up with
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  them. You're about to leave them.
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  And then guess what? They proposed to you?
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  You. They cheated on you.
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  You found out. They've done something horrible
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  to you. You found out.
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  And guess what? Will you marry me?
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  Let's just go get married. Let's elope.
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  This is what happens. They don't want to lose you
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  doesn't mean that they care. They just don't want to lose you
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  because you might be grade A supply.
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  You might be the best that they ever had.
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  You might be the best thing that's ever going to come into
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  their lives. But does that mean that they're
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  going to cherish you? No, it doesn't mean that they're
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  going to cherish you just because you're the best thing
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  that ever happened to them. It just means that they they
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  might try a little harder to keep you around.
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  And sometimes marriage or kids might be the best, most
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  efficient way. Just think about it.
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  If we're married, you just can't break up with me.
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  You got to go through the government to break up with me.
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  Like the government has to sign off on our breakup.
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  Yeah. How does that sound?
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  Because because we're married right now, we got to go through
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  the government to break up. Now we can't.
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  We just can't break up me. And you just can't go our
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  separate ways. We got to we got to go to talk
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  to Uncle Sam or go to go talk to the courthouse to even break up
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  with each other. That's sometimes why they will
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  marry you. And I know that sounds childish,
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  I know that sounds pathetic to some people, but sometimes
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  that's just the way a narcissist mind works.
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  Y'all? They will just like literally
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  they'll do this type of stuff to benefit them again.
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  Who do narcissists marry? They might very well marry you
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  because they care about you, right?
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  I'm not, I'm not ruling that out because I know people who see
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  this video and we're like, but you said they never cared about
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  me. That's not what I said.
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  I said, do they care about themselves more?
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  They do what benefits them more. They go out here and try to get
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  what what they try to do what they want to do more.
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  They care about themselves more. Absolutely.
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  That's absolutely true. Look, I ain't saying that that
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  they don't care about you. I'm just saying that they care
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  about themselves more, right? That's the thing.
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  That's the dynamic. That's how that's how we go
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  about doing this type of stuff. So narcissists don't always
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  marry the person that they love the most.
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  They marry sometimes the people that fit them the most, the
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  people that will benefit them the most, the people that they
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  don't want to lose. And again, just because they
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  don't want to lose you, it doesn't mean that they will
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  treat you better. It doesn't mean that they love
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  you to the end of the earth. It doesn't mean that they're
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  going to cherish you and be better for you.
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  That's not what that means. And I'm not trying to be mean or
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  chastise people. It's just like, you have to
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  protect yourself. Y'all.
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  You absolutely do. I want y'all to win.
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  That's why I do these videos. But like why I keep doing these
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  videos. You've been doing these videos
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  for years and years and years. I do want y'all to win.
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  Whatever that means to you, whatever that looks like for
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  you, go out there and get that victory because at the at the
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  end of the day, just because they marry you.
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  And like I said, this could explain a lot of y'all's
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  marriages. Like why do you think like drop
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  it in the comment section. If you ask your partner why do
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  they love you or why do they marry you, drop it in the
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  comment section. I'm just curious.
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  Comment below. Drop in the comment section.
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  Why you think they married you or why they told you that they
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  married you? You know, 'cause like the vows
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  may make a difference, right? Because this, you know, I only
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  married you because I had to. You know I married you because
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  religion says I had to marry you.
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  I married you because I was forced to.
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  My Mama said I had to marry you. I already had to get out the
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  house. My daddy made me marry you.
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  Why do you think they married you?
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  That's important to answer right there.
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  That's an important distinction to make as you're trying to
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  heal, as you're trying to grow, as you're trying to make it
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  through these situations. Y'all, me with y'all.
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  We made it to the end of this video if you haven't already.
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• 11:33
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• 11:48
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• 12:00
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  at mentalillness.net and I am out.
• 12:08
  Peace. What's going on?
• 12:10
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• 12:12
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