Latest / Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler / Trifling White Women with Roy Wood Jr.

Transcript

Trifling White Women with Roy Wood Jr. · Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler

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Speaker 1: I just announced all my tour dates. It's called the
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Speaker 1: High and Mighty Tour. I'm coming to Washington, d c Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus,
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Speaker 1: and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago,
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Speaker 1: of Course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Masa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri,
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Speaker 1: Saint Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham,
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Speaker 1: North of Carolina, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modeesto, California, and
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Speaker 1: port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington.
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Speaker 1: I will be touring from February through June, So go
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Speaker 1: get your tickets now. If you want to come see
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Speaker 1: me perform, I will be on the High and Mighty Tour.
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Speaker 2: Hi Catherine, Hi, Chelsea. How are you.
1:01
Speaker 3: I'm wonderful and you're in.
1:03
Speaker 2: An Arctico right now. I am in the Southern Hemisphere
1:06
Speaker 2: right now.
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Speaker 1: I am hiding in a closet recording this introduction to you.
1:11
Speaker 1: I can't tell you what's going on yet because I'm
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Speaker 1: going to download everyone when I get back. So it
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Speaker 1: has been transcendental.
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Speaker 3: Well, since everybody is dealing with Thanksgiving stuff, we'll get
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Speaker 3: right into it.
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Speaker 2: But our guests today had a great book. I really
1:26
Speaker 2: loved it.
1:27
Speaker 1: You know, our guests today from The Daily Show and CNNs.
1:30
Speaker 1: Have I got news for you. He is here to
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Speaker 1: talk about his new book, The Man of Many Fathers,
1:35
Speaker 1: Life Lessons disguised as a memoir. You're listening to Roy
1:39
Speaker 1: Wood Junior on this episode of Dear Chelsea, and I
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Speaker 1: have to say, let me tell you something, Roy.
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Speaker 2: From a woman to a straight man, it is.
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Speaker 1: So refreshing, Catherine, I think you would agree to read
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Speaker 1: a book by a straight man that is so reflective
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Speaker 1: and self aware, and it was really just such a
2:00
Speaker 1: great book, like thank you for women to read and
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Speaker 1: for mothers to read about how to raise a good man.
2:09
Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of stuff in here about
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Speaker 1: that and your relationship with your mother more specifically, and
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Speaker 1: your relationship with your father. So let's start there with
2:19
Speaker 1: your relationship with your father, because you didn't really start
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Speaker 1: out living with your father. Your mom and you you
2:25
Speaker 1: guys lived alone for a while, and then you started
2:28
Speaker 1: to get into a little bit of trouble, and she
2:30
Speaker 1: decided to move so that you could be close to
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Speaker 1: your father. So she essentially got back together with your
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Speaker 1: father in a kind of open relationship because you started
2:41
Speaker 1: to act up.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, now that I'm older, I can say I don't
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Speaker 4: think she ever got back with him. She moved in.
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Speaker 4: We moved back in with them, which is a different
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Speaker 4: dynamic because they never slept in the same bedroom like
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Speaker 4: my parents, never as far as I know, ever had
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Speaker 4: sex again. But the idea of I'm a single mom,
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Speaker 4: I work all day, I'm in grad school all night.
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Speaker 4: I cannot keep an eye on him. I will lose
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Speaker 4: him to the streets if I don't make this choice.
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Speaker 4: So in a lot of ways, I think that my
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Speaker 4: mother sacrificed her own happiness and comfort in a way
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Speaker 4: to ensure that I had some degree of upbringing having
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Speaker 4: a male in the house.
3:24
Speaker 1: So you guys moved to Birmingham right when you moved
3:28
Speaker 1: back in with your father.
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Speaker 4: Okay, correct, they're great.
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Speaker 2: So but you talk in the book.
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Speaker 1: We're going to jump around a little bit because in
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Speaker 1: the book, since you just brought it up in the book.
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Speaker 1: You talk about your dad's other you know, he had
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Speaker 1: children with another woman, He had two young sons with
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Speaker 1: another woman, and you talk about her coming over to
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Speaker 1: your mom's house or your parents' house, and your mom
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Speaker 1: flipping out and being like, as long as I don't
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Speaker 1: see any of these women, it's okay, but don't bring
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Speaker 1: them around here, which implies that they were in some
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Speaker 1: sort of romantic relationship.
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Speaker 4: No, yeah, I guess some sort of open relationship, or
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Speaker 4: you're disrespecting me because I'm your wife, but you have kids,
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Speaker 4: and you take this woman out all over town to
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Speaker 4: the point where people thought that was my mom, Like
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Speaker 4: anytime I Pop stepped out, it was with her, And
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Speaker 4: so for my mom, I think it was I know
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Speaker 4: what's happening, but I'm gonna keep my head down. The
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Speaker 4: money I'm saving on rent, I'm pouring into law school,
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Speaker 4: and then I'm gonna fucking leave you. In the meantime.
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Speaker 4: These women are not gonna be so blatant with the
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Speaker 4: disrespect that they think that they can just come over
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Speaker 4: to your house and say hello to you or check
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Speaker 4: in with you and things like that. And so that's
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Speaker 4: where my mom drew the line. My mom is very
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Speaker 4: gangster man like, I just think that it's not a
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Speaker 4: part of herself that she likes to access. I mean,
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Speaker 4: she went toe to toe Jim Crow in Mississippi in
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Speaker 4: the sixties. She was the first wave of students to
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Speaker 4: integrate Delta State University, a university that, as of recent
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Speaker 4: is in the news because of two black people Bey
5:00
Speaker 4: found hunged. So she's talked a lot of shit to
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Speaker 4: a lot of people in strange places and could have
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Speaker 4: paid a much larger price. So no, she's not gonna
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Speaker 4: be scared of some random woman coming to the house
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Speaker 4: trying to cuss my daddy out. You gonna get You're
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Speaker 4: gonna get slapped up.
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Speaker 2: Well, she's gonna come back with a bat, is what
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Speaker 2: happens in the book.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, my bat and I couldn't even use it anymore.
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Speaker 4: And littlely after that because the glass ended. That's a
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Speaker 4: separate conversation.
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Speaker 2: Well yeah, yeah, you can read about it in the book. Everybody.
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Speaker 4: My mom was just very no nonsense, And I don't
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Speaker 4: know how that changed my look on relationships. I definitely
5:38
Speaker 4: know how it changed my look on marriage for sure.
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Speaker 4: Like I don't have an idealistic view of marriage I'm
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Speaker 4: not anti marriage, but you're not gonna tell me everybody
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Speaker 4: that is married is successful and truly happy. So don't
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Speaker 4: throw these thirty year forty year relationships in my face
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Speaker 4: as an example of what could be. You know, forty years,
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Speaker 4: how many happy mm hmm. And that's the question Mary,
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Speaker 4: people never answer, right.
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Speaker 2: Right exactly.
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Speaker 1: It's kind of like when you talk about raising a child.
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Speaker 1: I mean I find it analogous to that only because
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Speaker 1: I've done neither of those things. When you think about
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Speaker 1: raising a child and all the things that come along
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Speaker 1: with it, it's like, how many moments of bliss are there?
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Speaker 2: Obviously you love.
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Speaker 1: This person more than anything else in the world, But
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Speaker 1: how many moments of bliss compared to the moments of
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Speaker 1: stress and agony and all of the other things that
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Speaker 1: come with it? And how how do those moments of
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Speaker 1: bliss just overpower all of the other stuff? You know,
6:34
Speaker 1: it's kind of similar to marriage, like it can't be.
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Speaker 1: I guess it has to be more good than bad.
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Speaker 1: But raising a kid, you know, if you get an
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Speaker 1: if you get an off one or one that's not cooperative,
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Speaker 1: that's fucking stress.
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Speaker 3: Or really unload on me either.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, nobody wants to raise the murderer. No, and I'm
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Speaker 4: sure they didn't set out to do things that made
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Speaker 4: their child commit crimes. But with my son, I'll say this,
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Speaker 4: it feels like an opportunity for me to create the
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Speaker 4: version of myself that I wish I had been, and
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Speaker 4: then to set that out into the world to better
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Speaker 4: the world, if you will, that idea of it. You know,
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Speaker 4: I'm not really caught up in legacy or not. Like
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Speaker 4: I didn't name him Roy Wood the third.
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Speaker 1: I wouldn't dare that would be really embarrassing. It's also
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Speaker 1: a love letter to your son in a way. It's
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Speaker 1: telling your son what you missed. And I think what
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Speaker 1: you're saying is also it's really powerful for fathers to
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Speaker 1: talk to their sons in this way, especially you know,
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Speaker 1: as men, because the language, you know, the softer the
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Speaker 1: language becomes, and the more insightful it becomes, the less
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Speaker 1: violent the world becomes.
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Speaker 2: You know, raising a guy is tricky.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, let's talk a little bit about your relationship with
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Speaker 1: your father.
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Speaker 2: This guy was like a major communicator.
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Speaker 1: You say some very funny things about him, but he
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Speaker 1: was very influential. He was on the radio, he was
8:01
Speaker 1: part of the civil rights movement, right.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I'd say a civil rights journalist is probably
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Speaker 4: the best way to somebmate. Like he's just a journalist
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Speaker 4: who focused solely on struggling conflict on issues affecting black
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Speaker 4: people globally.
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Speaker 1: And when you expect time with him, like in the book,
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Speaker 1: it sounds like you were kind of like he just
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Speaker 1: kind of took you wherever he went. You were kind
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Speaker 1: of his little sidekick, right like, and he wanted to
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Speaker 1: keep you occupied. He didn't want you out on the streets.
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Speaker 1: He wanted you to either be in class. I mean,
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Speaker 1: in one instance, he enrolled you back in school after
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Speaker 1: you've had already finished your school year because he didn't
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Speaker 1: want you hanging around the house, which I think is
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Speaker 1: a clutch move.
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Speaker 4: Actually, he didn't even enroll me. He just took me
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Speaker 4: to the school because I would spend the first when
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Speaker 4: Memphis City schools ended, I get sent to Birmingham. First
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Speaker 4: month in Birmingham, Birmingham City Schools are still in session,
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Speaker 4: So rather than get a babysitter, he just dropped me
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Speaker 4: off at it. Knowing what I know now, it's probably
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Speaker 4: some teacher he was fucking and like damn, you know
9:05
Speaker 4: how good. Your dick games got to be to just hey,
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Speaker 4: put my son in your class and teach him shit,
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Speaker 4: I'll be back at three. And that's what he would do. Man,
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Speaker 4: My pops would take me around with him and I
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Speaker 4: never got to go do put or have a fun
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Speaker 4: cool father. It's literally, hey, man, Jesse Jackson's in town
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Speaker 4: for the Democratic National Convention. I'm gonna go interview him.
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Speaker 4: You're coming, bring a snack, and that was it.
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Speaker 2: And if you could pay for it yourself, even better.
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Speaker 1: Because his dad was hugely penurious, didn't want him to
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Speaker 1: spend any money. So Roy, like myself, was very resourceful
9:43
Speaker 1: as a young person, creating his own business raking leaves,
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Speaker 1: drumming up a lot of business. Also, we have something
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Speaker 1: in common, which I texted you about last week, is
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Speaker 1: in the book he tells. One of my favorite stories,
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Speaker 1: or the one that resonated with me the most, because
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Speaker 1: there's actually a lot of similarities between our childhoods, is
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Speaker 1: that your parents forgot to pick you up from school
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Speaker 1: and you walked home in the freezing cold.
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Speaker 2: How long did it take you before you got a
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Speaker 2: ride from that guy at the convenience store.
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Speaker 4: It was a liquor store. It's way worse than you wish.
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Speaker 4: It was a convenience store. I was walking forty minutes
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Speaker 4: before I got to the liquor store, and I still
10:21
Speaker 4: had about another hour to go to get home.
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Speaker 2: And what was the temperature it was?
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Speaker 4: It was about fifteen degrees maybe twenty. It's Birmingham in January.
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Speaker 4: Baseball season starts late January. Both my parents thought the
10:34
Speaker 4: other one was going to get me from practice. I
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Speaker 4: get home and they're fucking watching Jeopardy, just chilling like
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Speaker 4: life is sweet. And I get into the liquor store
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Speaker 4: and there was just a drunk dude in there, and
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Speaker 4: I'm like, hey, man, just will you give me a ride?
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Speaker 4: Like he offered the ride, and I'm you know how
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Speaker 4: you like you talk those in that era in the nineties,
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Speaker 4: don't take a ride from a stranger. I'm like, fuck it, bro,
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Speaker 4: even if you're gonna molest me, I bet you got
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Speaker 4: a heater, so let's do it. And the guy, God
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Speaker 4: bless him, was a drunk, but he cared enough to
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Speaker 4: cap the liquor and not drink and drive while he
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Speaker 4: took me home.
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Speaker 1: I know that was a very nice touch to that story.
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Speaker 2: You think it's almost a misdirec.
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Speaker 1: You think he is going to molest you, and instead
11:23
Speaker 1: he's like, you know what, I'll save my drink.
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Speaker 2: It's a laughter. I get this kid home.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, he's like, I'm a drunk, I'm not a pervert.
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Speaker 4: I was like, I respect that, bro. Yeah, I appreciate that.
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Speaker 4: But that's the kind of community Birmingham was. Man, It's
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Speaker 4: just strangers would still look out. There was still Southern hospitality.
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Speaker 4: It's just it's a fifteen year old kid shivering to
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Speaker 4: his bones. Give him a ride.
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Speaker 1: I told you my parents once did that to me.
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Speaker 1: They forgot to pick me up from Hebrew School. And
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Speaker 1: I walked home two and a half miles in a snowstorm,
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Speaker 1: and I immediately I was conn I just walked in.
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Speaker 1: I saw them the same thing. They're sitting at the
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Speaker 1: fucking kitchen table. I was the youngest of six kids, though,
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Speaker 1: so like my parents, both of them together had six children,
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Speaker 1: and so I guess that's some sort of excuse of
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Speaker 1: being just fucking too many, bankrupt of you know, time, emotion,
12:09
Speaker 1: or any sort of logistical planning. But yeah, I walked
12:13
Speaker 1: in pissed and I was like, fuck both of you
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Speaker 1: and Roy when I texted Roy this. I was like,
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Speaker 1: I also got left at school, and he said, did
12:20
Speaker 1: you call the cops on them?
12:21
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, as soon as I got home, I
12:22
Speaker 2: called the police.
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Speaker 4: I was the only child in that house with my parents.
12:27
Speaker 4: How y'all not notice that I'm not here yet?
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Speaker 3: Now, the fact that they both each thought the other
12:32
Speaker 3: was going to get you, but neither of them looked
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Speaker 3: at each other and was like, where's Roy when they
12:36
Speaker 3: got home.
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Speaker 4: Yeah. But see, that's the thing. My parents didn't really
12:39
Speaker 4: like completely like rock with each other like that, So
12:42
Speaker 4: if they were in the same room watching TV, they
12:44
Speaker 4: just had to enjoy that moment of peace. I could
12:46
Speaker 4: understand my mom not looking at him and going, hey,
12:49
Speaker 4: don't forget responsibilities, and then my dad snapping on her
12:53
Speaker 4: about something.
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Speaker 1: You tell a story about being a kid and getting
12:56
Speaker 1: in an argument with your mom over a toy that
12:59
Speaker 1: you wanted at the moment, and then your mom was
13:01
Speaker 1: like you started to kind of throw a tantrum, and your.
13:03
Speaker 2: Mom just walked out and left you there.
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Speaker 1: And then a white woman got involved, somebody who was
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Speaker 1: scared for your safety. So I want to know in
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Speaker 1: what other ways have trifling white women impacted your life.
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Speaker 4: Roy, you know what, that white lady was trying to help,
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Speaker 4: but she didn't know she was interrupting an important lesson
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Speaker 4: about discipline, because my mama was one of the ones
13:28
Speaker 4: where I'll just leave you. I'm not going to argue
13:31
Speaker 4: with you if you want to have a temper tantrum
13:32
Speaker 4: about a fucking voltron lion, I'm just gonna leave you
13:36
Speaker 4: in the mall. And my mom walked off from the
13:39
Speaker 4: poor little white lady. Miss you left your son, miss
13:45
Speaker 4: like she knows that was the whole point of it.
13:49
Speaker 4: I remember one time getting separated from my mom in
13:51
Speaker 4: the fifth grade and having a panic attack in Macy's
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Speaker 4: in the galleria and a white lady comes over and sir,
14:00
Speaker 4: what's going on? And I'm gonna I'm gonna help you,
14:04
Speaker 4: And what's going on? Baby? What's your mother's name? George?
14:07
Speaker 4: Come over here? And this fucking white cashier, Chelsea, pulls
14:11
Speaker 4: up the PA system in Macy's and hands it to me.
14:15
Speaker 4: And then I'm just on the my mama, where are you?
14:18
Speaker 4: I'm the women's stockings this Roy click and my mom
14:25
Speaker 4: comes over furious, cusses out the white lady. My mom
14:30
Speaker 4: is one thousand percent in the wrong. But my mom
14:32
Speaker 4: is framing it under some sort of I knew where
14:34
Speaker 4: he was, he knew to stay there, you need to
14:37
Speaker 4: mind your business. But because in my mom's mind, it's
14:39
Speaker 4: they're going to take you from me.
14:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, that's all.
14:43
Speaker 4: That's all her thoughts were was that you called the police.
14:46
Speaker 4: You called you have involved an employee, who will involve management,
14:51
Speaker 4: who will involve the police. So my mom had to
14:54
Speaker 4: come in on the offensive and just immediately like cuss
14:58
Speaker 4: her out like that. That's that's really the most really
15:01
Speaker 4: weird white women that there was a semi racist incident
15:05
Speaker 4: in Tallahassee with a partner in mind, But like, is
15:10
Speaker 4: it racism? If they're right?
15:13
Speaker 2: What's which a partner here? What do you mean a partner?
15:16
Speaker 4: Ask you?
15:17
Speaker 1: Well, I'm not the one to answer that, roy as
15:19
Speaker 1: you know, but what was the other experience?
15:25
Speaker 4: So in college, me and a partner we went to
15:27
Speaker 4: the mall. We're like seventeen years old, maybe eighteen, and
15:31
Speaker 4: we walk into Wilson's the Leather Experts. You have to
15:34
Speaker 4: say the full name of this store. We go into
15:37
Speaker 4: Wilson's and we're just looking at leather jackets. White woman's
15:41
Speaker 4: sales rep comes over. She goes, we don't have Layo Way.
15:46
Speaker 4: We haven't said shit, She hasn't said hello, how you
15:49
Speaker 4: doing shit? Can I help you? My name is whatever,
15:53
Speaker 4: And we go we don't need Leo Way, and we
15:55
Speaker 4: snapped back at her real fast, and she walks off.
15:58
Speaker 4: And then we looked at the price of it jackets
16:00
Speaker 4: and fucking we need it. Layaway them shits. It's like
16:04
Speaker 4: a it's a level jacket. It's just like starts at
16:07
Speaker 4: one thousand dollars. We thought this would be one hundred
16:09
Speaker 4: and fifty dollars, like fucking starter jacket, like some NBA
16:14
Speaker 4: Jordan Chalcolne. It was one thousand dollars. So me and
16:17
Speaker 4: Barrett spend the next thirty minutes in the store pretending
16:20
Speaker 4: we have money because we don't want her to think
16:23
Speaker 4: we don't have money, because that's how you fight racism.
16:26
Speaker 4: It's just aggressive browsing. So's just kept trying on shit.
16:33
Speaker 2: Let's circle back to your dad.
16:35
Speaker 1: So how do you look at your relationship with your
16:37
Speaker 1: dad now that you're an adult man with a son, Like,
16:40
Speaker 1: how do you frame it and how do you feel
16:42
Speaker 1: about it?
16:43
Speaker 4: I think forgiveness without forgetting it's probably the best bucket
16:47
Speaker 4: to put it in for however, our parents failed us,
16:51
Speaker 4: be it mom or Dad. You get older and you
16:54
Speaker 4: start looking at some of them and I can draw
16:58
Speaker 4: lines to go ahe that's why you did that, That's
17:02
Speaker 4: why you behave like that. That sucks, but at least
17:06
Speaker 4: I understand now. One of the biggest blessings for me
17:09
Speaker 4: was doing finding your roots, and I did that, you know,
17:15
Speaker 4: the DNA show or whatever, and they find out all
17:18
Speaker 4: of this history about my dad's side of the family
17:20
Speaker 4: that I never knew was my dad never brought me
17:22
Speaker 4: around his side of the family, only like family reunions,
17:26
Speaker 4: and I know my half said, I know all my
17:29
Speaker 4: half siblings, but his extended family tree never met him.
17:34
Speaker 4: So I found out that my grandfather was killed when
17:37
Speaker 4: my dad was four what he disappeared in the night
17:41
Speaker 4: without a trace in Georgia in the nineteen thirties, so
17:46
Speaker 4: we know what that is. The census data that PBS
17:50
Speaker 4: found showed that my father did not have another male
17:53
Speaker 4: head of household the rest of his life. So for
17:57
Speaker 4: all I know, he didn't have a version of what
18:00
Speaker 4: I had growing up, just somebody there to check his
18:03
Speaker 4: ass and he also was hit by a car when
18:07
Speaker 4: he was sixteen and crippled permanently while running after a
18:11
Speaker 4: woman that had just broken up a girl, because he
18:13
Speaker 4: was sixteen running after a girl who had just broken
18:16
Speaker 4: up with him. So how do you think that informed
18:19
Speaker 4: his idea and opinions about women and dating and who
18:23
Speaker 4: was there to give him any type of game on manhood?
18:26
Speaker 4: Truth be told, I walked away from that television show
18:31
Speaker 4: that day just understanding that my pops was pretty much
18:35
Speaker 4: fucked from age four and was solidified at age sixteen.
18:39
Speaker 4: And anything else he became, he became as a byproduct
18:43
Speaker 4: of trying to get past whatever traumas he was still
18:47
Speaker 4: dealing with. So you comfort yourself and women, I guess,
18:52
Speaker 4: but you comfort yourself and the people you know that
18:55
Speaker 4: praised you and adore you. You know, he was loved
19:00
Speaker 4: for his voice because he couldn't be athletic anymore, and
19:05
Speaker 4: you know, he changed a lot of people's lives. I
19:07
Speaker 4: think that's the part that's like so weird when you
19:10
Speaker 4: have a parent that was different for you than what
19:14
Speaker 4: everybody else got. Because you know, my Pops dies when
19:17
Speaker 4: I'm sixteen, and then you start hearing all these cool
19:21
Speaker 4: stories and great stories about him, and I didn't get that.
19:26
Speaker 4: I never saw or experience that. One of the hardest
19:30
Speaker 4: things for me to do is I follow my two
19:33
Speaker 4: younger siblings. My two young I'm closest to them because
19:38
Speaker 4: we're closest in age, and with me and the older
19:41
Speaker 4: halfs it's a twenty year age gap up. So like
19:45
Speaker 4: with the younger ones, one of the hardest things is
19:48
Speaker 4: following them on social media because they'll post pictures with
19:51
Speaker 4: them and Pops and they got the old school polaroid
19:55
Speaker 4: Kodak joints to have the date printed on the photo,
19:59
Speaker 4: and I can look at the photo and look at
20:01
Speaker 4: the date and tell you whether or not the lights
20:03
Speaker 4: were on at our house or they're at disney World
20:08
Speaker 4: or they're at damn six Flags. My little brother post
20:13
Speaker 4: a picture me and Daddy that summer when we went
20:17
Speaker 4: to the thing and we had a good time, and
20:20
Speaker 4: I'm like, I had to fucking sit and watch you
20:22
Speaker 4: interview Michael Ducaccus in eighty four, like I didn't get
20:27
Speaker 4: to go to nothing fun. And then on top of that,
20:29
Speaker 4: you're beefing with my mom at the time, but you're
20:33
Speaker 4: living the normal life over there. And after a while
20:38
Speaker 4: you just got to respect it, Chelsea, like, it's not ideal,
20:41
Speaker 4: it wasn't cool. But as I got older and I
20:43
Speaker 4: had a son, and I started thinking about the idea
20:46
Speaker 4: of showing him love and what does love look like?
20:49
Speaker 4: And well, what were the examples I had of love?
20:53
Speaker 4: I have to look to my dad and the other woman.
20:57
Speaker 4: I have to and I have to unpack that if
21:00
Speaker 4: if I want to have any shot of understanding how I
21:02
Speaker 4: would show up in love with a woman, I need
21:06
Speaker 4: to look at how my dad showed up, so I
21:09
Speaker 4: have something to compare and contrast my behaviors to. And
21:14
Speaker 4: that was ie opening because I mean, you know my
21:17
Speaker 4: stand up, I don't talk about my life. I don't
21:19
Speaker 4: talk about but because it was just so weird, it
21:22
Speaker 4: was so complicated, it was easier for me to just
21:24
Speaker 4: talk about the world. But you know, I look at
21:30
Speaker 4: the choices he made, and I really feel like my
21:33
Speaker 4: pops didn't understand how to get love right until the end,
21:39
Speaker 4: until like the last ten years of his life. So
21:42
Speaker 4: you go around, I'm the ninth of eleven kids by
21:44
Speaker 4: five different women. Just for perspective, so you spend a
21:48
Speaker 4: front half of your life and career dedicated to the
21:54
Speaker 4: job that you love, but also running from this commitment
21:59
Speaker 4: and your responsibly just you know, having kids all over
22:03
Speaker 4: the place, and I start unpacking that, and I look
22:07
Speaker 4: at it to a degree, and it feels eerily similar
22:11
Speaker 4: to my pattern. Separate. I mean, I don't have a
22:14
Speaker 4: bunch of kids all over the place.
22:15
Speaker 1: But and you don't have two partners. I mean, I
22:19
Speaker 1: bet you wish you did, but you don't, not that
22:22
Speaker 1: I know of.
22:22
Speaker 2: Do you have two partners? I tried to set you
22:24
Speaker 2: up sexually a couple of months ago, but I don't
22:26
Speaker 2: know if that panned out or not.
22:28
Speaker 4: That person would not want two partners either, Just so
22:33
Speaker 4: you know that. No, I have one child that I
22:38
Speaker 4: co parent with with his mom, and that's that's great.
22:43
Speaker 4: I've I love what I do, and I think part
22:46
Speaker 4: of it where I feel like there's similarities between me
22:49
Speaker 4: and my dad is comedy is the one place that
22:52
Speaker 4: makes me feel alive. Entertaining and writing and creating. Everything
22:57
Speaker 4: else fall second. So when there are huge respect abilities
23:00
Speaker 4: and big things that I have to take care of,
23:04
Speaker 4: I might all runs not the right word, but I'm
23:07
Speaker 4: anxious avoiding that shit to the end of the day
23:11
Speaker 4: or the end of the week or the end of
23:12
Speaker 4: the month if I have to. So, you know, comedy
23:17
Speaker 4: as an escape from something you know, or does it
23:21
Speaker 4: fulfill you. I don't know what the difference is, but
23:23
Speaker 4: I feel like Radio meant that to him, which is
23:26
Speaker 4: why he was so superb at it, which is why
23:28
Speaker 4: he helped so many people while he was doing it.
23:32
Speaker 4: I did the White House Correspondence dinner and afterwards, just
23:36
Speaker 4: random black people are come, yeah, you're dad. In nineteen
23:39
Speaker 4: seventy one got me in my first Pepper Bard and
23:42
Speaker 4: I remember I needed a tape recorder and we was
23:45
Speaker 4: at the Presca and your daddy loan meet his audio
23:47
Speaker 4: and like, it's just these He loved what he did.
23:52
Speaker 4: And also, I think to a degree, just ran from
23:56
Speaker 4: everything else. So you know, you have to unpack with
23:59
Speaker 4: your parents or if you're going to figure out who
24:01
Speaker 4: you are and what the best parts of them are
24:04
Speaker 4: so that you can take that and pass that on
24:06
Speaker 4: to your children.
24:07
Speaker 1: You open the book by saying, trying to raise a
24:10
Speaker 1: child before healing your inner child is a motherfucker. So
24:14
Speaker 1: where what do you feel like you've healed your inner child?
24:19
Speaker 4: Getting there? Oh? Guess what I bought About a month ago,
24:24
Speaker 4: I bought that same black Voltron lion that I was
24:27
Speaker 4: crying to my mom about in Memphis in the eighties,
24:31
Speaker 4: and I saw it. I saw it at like a
24:34
Speaker 4: collectible story. I was like, yeah, I might, I'm gonna
24:36
Speaker 4: get that fucking lion. Now I don't. I don't have it.
24:42
Speaker 4: On one of these days, it'll it'll make it to
24:44
Speaker 4: this shelf. But the idea of you know, I have
24:49
Speaker 4: a responsibility to my son, so I'm not here to
24:51
Speaker 4: play video games and watch baseball all day. But I
24:54
Speaker 4: do feel like there's a degree of joy and fun
24:57
Speaker 4: that I lost because I had to worry. I had
25:00
Speaker 4: to rake leaves, I had to cut deals in the
25:02
Speaker 4: neighborhood because I didn't know when the next argument was
25:05
Speaker 4: going to happen between the two of them, and he
25:07
Speaker 4: wasn't going to pay a bill, and then the gas
25:10
Speaker 4: is off or the heat is off, you know, the electricity.
25:15
Speaker 4: You know, my mom was working her ass off to
25:17
Speaker 4: jobs in night school and law school and grad school.
25:21
Speaker 4: I don't want to bother her with needing fifty dollars
25:24
Speaker 4: for the sneakers or the field trip. So I'm gonna hustle.
25:27
Speaker 4: So yeah, I missed out on a lot of things. Yeah,
25:31
Speaker 4: I missed out. I missed out on a lot of
25:33
Speaker 4: things because because I had to grow up a little faster.
25:39
Speaker 2: Right you know.
25:41
Speaker 1: Yeah, being a latchkey kid when you were growing up
25:44
Speaker 1: is probably, well not probably, it's a lot different than
25:47
Speaker 1: it is today.
25:47
Speaker 2: And what it means today.
25:49
Speaker 4: Oh, it's illegal. Not what we were doing. Oh, they
25:51
Speaker 4: would have taken me away from my mom in her heartbeat.
25:56
Speaker 1: First of all, let's talk about your almost threesome that
25:59
Speaker 1: you had getting a home.
26:01
Speaker 4: Is that how you're classified?
26:03
Speaker 2: That's how I classified it. Yeah, why don't you tell
26:05
Speaker 2: us that story.
26:06
Speaker 4: It's one of those things though, where like here's the
26:09
Speaker 4: thing they tell kids, Hey, be careful, don't let nobody
26:14
Speaker 4: touch you in your area, right, like make sure no
26:18
Speaker 4: one touches your breast. They never tell you how pervert
26:23
Speaker 4: spit gain? Is that? Is that a better way of
26:26
Speaker 4: putting it?
26:27
Speaker 1: Like the groom, Basically, you say, when somebody really wants
26:30
Speaker 1: to go out of their way for you or do
26:33
Speaker 1: you a favor and they're too eager to do it,
26:35
Speaker 1: watch out.
26:36
Speaker 4: Don't trust them. And I'm like that to this day.
26:39
Speaker 4: I don't trust anybody. That's anxious to help me. What
26:42
Speaker 4: do you want? What do you need? It's not all
26:45
Speaker 4: molestation now, it's it's more industry angling. What's your angle?
26:50
Speaker 4: What are you trying to do. It's like when women
26:52
Speaker 4: are nice to me and then like two days in
26:54
Speaker 4: they go, hey, is Trevor Noahs single? I'm like, ah,
26:58
Speaker 4: you motherfucker. I knew that's what it was. So the
27:02
Speaker 4: reason why I told that story in the book is that.
27:05
Speaker 1: Can give us the story, give our listeners a little
27:08
Speaker 1: version or the abridged version of that story.
27:10
Speaker 4: I worked at a hospital in the cafeteria and my
27:14
Speaker 4: supervisor used to give me rides home from work if
27:17
Speaker 4: my car was broken down that week. At a supervisor
27:20
Speaker 4: who did not live on my side of town, there
27:23
Speaker 4: were coworkers who lived on that side of town who
27:25
Speaker 4: would take me. And my supervisor would go, no, I'm
27:28
Speaker 4: taking Roy. Y'all go ahead and go home. I'm taking
27:32
Speaker 4: Roy home. And we would ride home and he would
27:34
Speaker 4: ask me a million questions about my life and what
27:37
Speaker 4: you're doing, and talk about girls. I'm sixteen. For context,
27:41
Speaker 4: this it's like a thirty thirty five year old man
27:45
Speaker 4: and what you're doing, what you're up to take you
27:47
Speaker 4: to the gas station, get your candy, to the point
27:50
Speaker 4: where after a while my favorite candies were already in
27:54
Speaker 4: the car, and I'm just I'm thinking that's odd, but
27:58
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, this is my this is cool. Also,
28:02
Speaker 4: I'm sixteen. At that point, I think I'm out of
28:05
Speaker 4: the molestation window, because they make you believe that, Like
28:09
Speaker 4: for all the back to school specials and all the
28:11
Speaker 4: stuff they talk about with child kidnap and all of that,
28:14
Speaker 4: they made it seem like middle school was the cutoff
28:16
Speaker 4: for attractiveness the pedophiles and perverts. And so my guard
28:22
Speaker 4: was down. It was very much down. And so one
28:24
Speaker 4: day he gives me a ride home and he goes, hey,
28:26
Speaker 4: I need to stop at a friend's house real quick.
28:27
Speaker 4: You know, I gotta get ready. I'm going to this
28:29
Speaker 4: thing to night. I'm go, okay, cool, I'm waiting in
28:32
Speaker 4: the car. It's a pretty rough neighborhood. And he goes,
28:35
Speaker 4: you shouldn't wait in the car. You know, GDS out here,
28:39
Speaker 4: Gangster Disciples, they out here, the GDS or get you whatever,
28:43
Speaker 4: Come on in the house. I get in the house,
28:45
Speaker 4: I sit on the couch. Ten minutes later, the cook
28:49
Speaker 4: from the hospital, he walks into the living room. He's naked.
28:54
Speaker 4: He's got a towel on, but he's to me, you're naked,
28:58
Speaker 4: You got on none but a towel. You naked. You
29:00
Speaker 4: shouldn't be in another room with another man, like your
29:03
Speaker 4: dick should never be flapping. It's what my uncle Derek
29:06
Speaker 4: told me. It's like, if your dick's flapping, you don't
29:08
Speaker 4: have enough clothes, go back, put some drawers on. And
29:14
Speaker 4: he comes in and he sits on the couch and
29:16
Speaker 4: starts making small talk with me, and then my supervisor
29:21
Speaker 4: he comes out from the back.
29:23
Speaker 1: This is called a power dynamic, everybody, this is a
29:25
Speaker 1: power dynamic from the hospital cafeteria.
29:28
Speaker 4: He's in nothing but a towel, freshly showered, both of them,
29:33
Speaker 4: still got well, ain't even dried off. Up top, two
29:36
Speaker 4: shirtless men in bath towel sitting next to me, and
29:39
Speaker 4: they start trying to make chit chat. And that's when
29:43
Speaker 4: it clicked, and took it took a while, but that's
29:46
Speaker 4: when it clicked. And I'm like, hey, my mom is
29:50
Speaker 4: waiting for me, and she's going to be looking for me.
29:55
Speaker 4: And that was the one thing. But that was the
29:57
Speaker 4: one thing I remember that somebody had taught me at
29:59
Speaker 4: the boy club was that if somebody's harassing you you
30:03
Speaker 4: feel like you're gonna get kidnapped, let them know that,
30:06
Speaker 4: you know, somebody going to the search will begin shortly
30:10
Speaker 4: after you snatch me. Like, I don't know what y'all
30:13
Speaker 4: trying to do, but whatever it is, we're not gonna
30:15
Speaker 4: do that shit today. Bro. My mama waiting on me,
30:19
Speaker 4: and you can see them kind of both looking at you,
30:22
Speaker 4: and they're like asking me, like very like non hospital
30:26
Speaker 4: questions about you know, do you when the last time
30:29
Speaker 4: you had sex? Do you like blow jobs? Do the
30:33
Speaker 4: girls give you blowjob? Like? It was just very very
30:37
Speaker 4: on the nose, y'all trying to y'all trying to do
30:40
Speaker 4: some shit. And I say, we gotta get the fuck
30:42
Speaker 4: up out of here, man, and and they agreed, and
30:46
Speaker 4: they got dressed, and they took me home, and my
30:48
Speaker 4: supervisor never talked to me again at work, no more
30:51
Speaker 4: rides home either.
30:52
Speaker 2: Yeah.
30:53
Speaker 1: I would think that confirmed, you know, in case you're mistaken.
30:58
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's confirmed.
31:00
Speaker 2: When they came out in bathtowels.
31:02
Speaker 4: I mean, but you compare that to a manager I had.
31:04
Speaker 4: I had a manager at Baskin Robbins hate it taking
31:08
Speaker 4: me home made it known that he didn't want to
31:12
Speaker 4: but would, but hated it. We're still cool to this day,
31:17
Speaker 4: are you. Yeah, because that's honesty, true benevolence. I don't
31:22
Speaker 4: think real benevolence comes with excitement. People would rather be
31:27
Speaker 4: doing something else, but they do it for you out
31:30
Speaker 4: of some love or respect or whatever, but or out of.
31:33
Speaker 2: Some moral ups to do the right thing.
31:35
Speaker 4: Ye yeah, or they just trying to fuck on the.
31:37
Speaker 2: Couch right right.
31:38
Speaker 1: Another similarity we have you and I is I had
31:41
Speaker 1: a big bomb at the Montreal Comedy Festival when I
31:44
Speaker 1: write before I got very successful, and you talk about
31:49
Speaker 1: being booed out of the Apollo and this.
31:51
Speaker 2: Was supposed to be your life changing moment, and.
31:54
Speaker 1: So what I want to talk I want you to
31:56
Speaker 1: talk a little bit about when your life changing moment
31:59
Speaker 1: doesn't become the moment that you wanted.
32:01
Speaker 2: It to be.
32:02
Speaker 4: How did you stay at the festival after you got booed?
32:06
Speaker 2: It was so I didn't get booed.
32:07
Speaker 1: I bombed, but I known booby But I mean it
32:11
Speaker 1: was a loud enough for me to understand that I bombed,
32:13
Speaker 1: And then I had a show the next night, and
32:15
Speaker 1: then I left and I remember being on the plane
32:18
Speaker 1: seeing all of these executives who were there to see me,
32:22
Speaker 1: and ah, it's sickening. It was sickening. I was so
32:26
Speaker 1: mortified at my own existence.
32:29
Speaker 4: I went, It's one of those things where as soon
32:33
Speaker 4: as I walked on stage, I knew I picked the
32:35
Speaker 4: wrong jokes. I had a joke that could have won
32:38
Speaker 4: me that round, and I saved it, thinking well, when
32:41
Speaker 4: I get to round two, that's when I'm gonna really
32:43
Speaker 4: hit them with the good jokes wrong. And I had
32:47
Speaker 4: already had in my head like how it was going
32:51
Speaker 4: to play out, because Apollo, this is my first ever
32:54
Speaker 4: TV gig, this is O two. I know if I
32:57
Speaker 4: do well here and I come back next week, I
33:02
Speaker 4: can get like literally, this sounds stupid, but my goal
33:06
Speaker 4: was to get in an ice Cube movie. That was
33:09
Speaker 4: the It was the ice Cube to like Hollywood start
33:15
Speaker 4: them Pipeline. Because Chris Tucker did well on Deaf Jam
33:20
Speaker 4: ice Cube song put him in movies. Mike Epps did
33:23
Speaker 4: well ice Cube, soam put him in movies. Kat Williams,
33:27
Speaker 4: Don d c. Curry some more. Like there's so many
33:31
Speaker 4: black comics that ice Cube was just like yeah, you
33:35
Speaker 4: you're famous now. And I was like, this is gonna
33:38
Speaker 4: be my moment. And I went out there and I
33:40
Speaker 4: ate shit. Not only did I eat shit. I was
33:42
Speaker 4: supposed to do three minutes. I came off stage at
33:46
Speaker 4: two fifteen. Two minutes fourteen fifteen, so I had one
33:49
Speaker 4: more joke left. I go, they're not gonna let me
33:51
Speaker 4: do it. I know they're not gonna let me finish
33:54
Speaker 4: the next joke. I should leave now so that I
33:57
Speaker 4: don't get booed, and I said, good night. I walk
33:59
Speaker 4: off stage. But here's the joke on me. You walked
34:03
Speaker 4: off stage. That means you got to go back out
34:05
Speaker 4: and get Kiki Shepherd it where she you know, they
34:07
Speaker 4: put the hand over your head to judge and like,
34:10
Speaker 4: give it up for the first comedian, Yeah, give it
34:13
Speaker 4: up for Roy but Jr. And the boo was louder
34:16
Speaker 4: than what would have been if I'd have just taken
34:19
Speaker 4: the original boo. And the ride back to the hotel
34:25
Speaker 4: that night was just like so fucking like, it's it's everything.
34:30
Speaker 4: You know, you're on a high and then immediately you're
34:35
Speaker 4: at your low as low and it's gone. Now rip
34:39
Speaker 4: to the forty second Street McDonald's and Times Square, but
34:43
Speaker 4: I went there and had a big macmeal, I see
34:46
Speaker 4: orange to lick the wounds, and just sat there. It
34:49
Speaker 4: was one of those nights where you're sitting there sad,
34:51
Speaker 4: and then you can see your reflection in the window
34:55
Speaker 4: and you're just like all this happiness streaking by and
35:00
Speaker 4: you're sitting there. It's just I don't know what's next.
35:03
Speaker 4: This was the way out and there's nothing I can
35:09
Speaker 4: do now to change this. And I get back to
35:13
Speaker 4: the hotel we were staying. I was bunking with another guy,
35:16
Speaker 4: Henry Coleman, great comic out of Memphis, and Henry and
35:20
Speaker 4: I were sharing a hotel room and Henry don Apollo
35:25
Speaker 4: same day got booed. And we get back to the
35:29
Speaker 4: hotel we're staying at the Night's End in Elizabeth, New Jersey,
35:33
Speaker 4: and it's all open air prostitution and drugs, like the
35:37
Speaker 4: whole street. Like, I don't know what it is now.
35:40
Speaker 4: I know that Night's In is still there, number one,
35:43
Speaker 4: but I don't know what it is. I don't know
35:45
Speaker 4: what that neighborhood is now. We get back and the
35:49
Speaker 4: sex workers and the pimps and the dope boys that
35:52
Speaker 4: are out there. They give us a round of applause,
35:56
Speaker 4: and it was one of the most meaningful moments of
35:59
Speaker 4: just it's like community upliftment because they knew we were
36:04
Speaker 4: there in town to do kind like we've been there
36:06
Speaker 4: a couple of days, and we talked a little bit
36:08
Speaker 4: in the parking lot. They didn't know before we get
36:12
Speaker 4: out the car. They didn't know whether or not we
36:13
Speaker 4: got booed or not. They didn't know shit. And it
36:16
Speaker 4: was like, to this day, I'm still touching. Almost paid
36:19
Speaker 4: for some sex that night out of respect?
36:21
Speaker 2: Have you ever paid for sex? Roy?
36:24
Speaker 4: Not outright, but right in theory all men have like
36:29
Speaker 4: not like give me a Venmo, thanks a lot, not
36:34
Speaker 4: like that.
36:35
Speaker 1: Let's talk about walking away from jobs, another element that
36:39
Speaker 1: you and I have in common. What was your final
36:42
Speaker 1: decision in walking away from the like quitting the Daily Show?
36:46
Speaker 1: Did you have the CNN opportunity for your show on CNN,
36:49
Speaker 1: which is called Have I Got News for You? No,
36:52
Speaker 1: you didn't have that job lined up.
36:54
Speaker 4: No, that wasn't even rumored yet. I left Daily Show
37:00
Speaker 4: October twenty two. The CNN conversation happened that following July.
37:05
Speaker 4: But I don't get the CNN opportunity if I don't
37:07
Speaker 4: quit Daily Show. It just didn't feel like a place
37:10
Speaker 4: anymore where there was a solid plan for who the
37:16
Speaker 4: next host would be. And then and I talked about
37:19
Speaker 4: it a little bit in the book about Also, I
37:23
Speaker 4: don't know, I just had ideas, Chelseay, I just had
37:25
Speaker 4: other shit I wanted to do that I know I
37:27
Speaker 4: couldn't do there. I tried to do some of it there,
37:30
Speaker 4: it never got green. Look like, I don't want to
37:33
Speaker 4: sound like somebody from SNL whining because I didn't get
37:36
Speaker 4: enough sketches on. I got to do a ton of stuff.
37:39
Speaker 4: But you start evolving and changing. I'm like, well, Also,
37:44
Speaker 4: there was the paranoid of the merger. I was, look,
37:46
Speaker 4: I don't know how you felt at the time, with
37:49
Speaker 4: all the guests hosting and your name being in the hat.
37:52
Speaker 4: I was hyper paranoid about the merger. Way depending paramount
37:58
Speaker 4: sky Dance, which finally happened. Now that was cooking back then.
38:03
Speaker 2: No I know, But why why did that worry you?
38:06
Speaker 4: Because the first thing you do is cut You cut salary,
38:10
Speaker 4: you cut weight, when you merge a company, you cut things.
38:14
Speaker 4: So whatever it is that's happened to Colbert. If we
38:19
Speaker 4: really want to believe it was solely budget I thought
38:22
Speaker 4: that to be the Daily Show's fate with no host.
38:25
Speaker 1: Well, it's the same people, right, right, right right, the
38:27
Speaker 1: same people run Colbert did run the Daily Show.
38:31
Speaker 4: Okay, so now you're coming off of the writer strike,
38:34
Speaker 4: you you're a call from Comedy Central and they go,
38:36
Speaker 4: what's up? You're coming back to work or not? And
38:38
Speaker 4: then I go, y'all got a host? They go, no,
38:41
Speaker 4: y'all got a plan for how you're gonna find a host? Nope?
38:45
Speaker 4: Well I know right there, I'm not on your short list.
38:48
Speaker 4: Number two. I know that if I stay, I don't
38:52
Speaker 4: know what I'm agreeing to stay to be a part of.
38:55
Speaker 4: And I don't know how bulletproof this new configuration of
38:58
Speaker 4: the show will be. Well, this be recession proof and
39:02
Speaker 4: merger proof. John Stewart was also not in the cards
39:04
Speaker 4: at the time when I left the show. That's an
39:06
Speaker 4: important detail because if John's coming back, all right, I
39:09
Speaker 4: stay another year and ride it out through the presidential election.
39:13
Speaker 4: But if John's not, and if we're gonna cut costs,
39:17
Speaker 4: because even if you merge, right, let's just say they
39:19
Speaker 4: cut the Daily Show to a week. Hey, we don't
39:23
Speaker 4: need to do this every night, Let's do it weekly. Well,
39:26
Speaker 4: if you're gonna do it every week, I bet you
39:28
Speaker 4: don't need all these correspondents. And if you're gonna cut correspondents,
39:31
Speaker 4: I bet you cut from the top, from the highest salary,
39:34
Speaker 4: longest tenure people. This is just where my doom'sday brain
39:37
Speaker 4: is going at the time. Right So they're gonna keep
39:42
Speaker 4: guest hosting. The merger's gonna happen. They're gonna trim fat.
39:44
Speaker 4: I might be some of the fat they trim, and
39:46
Speaker 4: by the time they decide that they don't want me,
39:49
Speaker 4: or I decide I don't want to be here anymore,
39:51
Speaker 4: it's gonna be after the presidential election and the window
39:54
Speaker 4: of opportunity to do anything new in late night political
39:59
Speaker 4: satire will be gone. This is the window right now,
40:04
Speaker 4: This is the window if you ever want to do
40:06
Speaker 4: anything different? Are you willing to Are you willing to
40:08
Speaker 4: stay here for another year? And bet? Not having anywhere
40:12
Speaker 4: else to go, not knowing how the merger is gonna go,
40:14
Speaker 4: not knowing how the Daily Show it's going to be
40:16
Speaker 4: handled in the merger, or do you leave right now
40:20
Speaker 4: and figure it out the same as you always have.
40:23
Speaker 4: Same as when the sitcom got canceled on TBS, same
40:26
Speaker 4: as when you got fired from the radio station. Same
40:30
Speaker 4: as when you had the Whoopie the Whoopi Goldberg sitcom
40:33
Speaker 4: on lock and then it didn't happen. So go back
40:38
Speaker 4: out into what you know, which is the unknown. It's
40:40
Speaker 4: the most familiar feeling I have is not knowing what
40:44
Speaker 4: the hell is next. Like everybody looked at it as
40:47
Speaker 4: some sort of courageous choice, but it's just like, no,
40:50
Speaker 4: if there's a new show to be made, it'll happen
40:54
Speaker 4: this year. I want to be in line for another show.
40:57
Speaker 2: Prescient, very prescient.
40:59
Speaker 1: Yes, a lot of people call into this podcast Roy
41:03
Speaker 1: talking about this very thing. I mean, you know, in
41:06
Speaker 1: different mediums and careers and professions, but when to take
41:10
Speaker 1: a jump or a leap of faith and having you know,
41:12
Speaker 1: not having the confidence to do that, and you talking
41:16
Speaker 1: about it and knowing that you're going to be okay,
41:19
Speaker 1: you know, because you've always been okay because of your
41:21
Speaker 1: work ethic and because of your hustle. Like I think
41:24
Speaker 1: that's very powerful for people to hear and to know that, Like,
41:28
Speaker 1: you know, when you say no to something, you're saying
41:30
Speaker 1: yes to a whole bunch of other opportunities that may
41:33
Speaker 1: not have revealed themselves yet.
41:35
Speaker 4: Trust yourself because they won't reveal themselves. Ceing inn. I
41:39
Speaker 4: wouldn't have if I was under contract with Daily Show
41:41
Speaker 4: for another year. The CNN wouldn't even call because Central.
41:44
Speaker 4: There's no way they're going to let me out of
41:45
Speaker 4: my deal to go do another show and essentially compete
41:50
Speaker 4: against them during the presidential election year. Not gonna happen, bro,
41:54
Speaker 4: So they were never going to do that. And then
41:57
Speaker 4: true true to form, there were two things that happened
42:00
Speaker 4: after that. There were only two shows that came out
42:03
Speaker 4: that year. It was The CNN Show and After Midnight
42:07
Speaker 4: with Taylor Tomlinson. Those were the only two, and both
42:10
Speaker 4: of those shows are old ip that are remakes. So
42:15
Speaker 4: it was even skinnier than I thought it was because
42:18
Speaker 4: I thought there was still room for a new show
42:20
Speaker 4: or a new idea. There was not. So, you know,
42:24
Speaker 4: I'm not going to say I lucked out, but I
42:26
Speaker 4: definitely had to leave to put myself in a position
42:29
Speaker 4: to advance and do anything else different, you know, and
42:33
Speaker 4: that it worked out, you know, But it just my
42:38
Speaker 4: advice to your listeners would be whatever emotion or fear
42:42
Speaker 4: you have, you've felt it before. I think the gift
42:47
Speaker 4: is that you learn how to deal with that pressure
42:52
Speaker 4: or that fear and manage it in a way that
42:54
Speaker 4: makes sense. Okay, if I leave this show and nothing
42:58
Speaker 4: else happens, what can I do? Okay? Oh, I never
43:02
Speaker 4: got around to writing that book. I should write that
43:05
Speaker 4: book about all the dad shit. Okay, I do that,
43:07
Speaker 4: and I can sell that script. Maybe I could sell
43:10
Speaker 4: the script. Yeah, I mean, you quit the Daily Show,
43:13
Speaker 4: You'll be hot for at least two months. That's you
43:16
Speaker 4: know that. I mean that's literally how my brain is
43:19
Speaker 4: processing everything at the time. So I'm just like, there's
43:23
Speaker 4: other ways, and I think something else will present itself
43:26
Speaker 4: if I'm focused. It's like the space shuttle where you
43:29
Speaker 4: keep coming around to Earth. You got two windows of
43:32
Speaker 4: re entry. You missed this re entry. You gotta circle
43:35
Speaker 4: all the way back around and run out again. Like no,
43:38
Speaker 4: I'll just I'll jump now. At least this way, I
43:41
Speaker 4: have control over when I jump and I'm not pushed.
43:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, exactly.
43:46
Speaker 1: I love that We're going to take a break and
43:48
Speaker 1: we'll be right back with roy Wood Junior.
43:54
Speaker 2: And We're back with roy Wood Junior.
43:58
Speaker 3: We we'll start with a collar to Our first caller
44:01
Speaker 3: is Danielle. She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm an actor, comic,
44:05
Speaker 3: and now an associate marriage and family therapist, and I
44:08
Speaker 3: love your advice. I started stand Up in twenty twelve.
44:11
Speaker 3: I've quit a couple of times over the years, but
44:13
Speaker 3: every time I leave, I can't stop thinking about it, and.
44:16
Speaker 2: I always come back.
44:18
Speaker 3: I restarted again in twenty twenty three, and this time
44:20
Speaker 3: I'm determined not to quit. Right now, I'm hosting a
44:23
Speaker 3: weekly mic at Westside Comedy and I love it. I'm
44:26
Speaker 3: forty two, with an MFA and acting from USC. Over
44:29
Speaker 3: the years, I've booked some great roles, and I just
44:31
Speaker 3: finished filming a recurring role on a Netflix show coming
44:33
Speaker 3: out in twenty twenty six. An agent once told me,
44:36
Speaker 3: you're over forty and haven't been a series regular, so
44:38
Speaker 3: your only hope is stand Up. But clearly that hasn't
44:40
Speaker 3: been entirely true. At the same time, I'm now building
44:43
Speaker 3: a career as a therapist. After earning my MA in
44:45
Speaker 3: clinical psychology, I graduated and finished a year long internship
44:48
Speaker 3: in June.
44:49
Speaker 2: Here's my struggle.
44:50
Speaker 3: I constantly compare myself to younger comics who seem miles ahead.
44:54
Speaker 3: The voice in my head says, why bother? You'll never
44:57
Speaker 3: get on late night, you'll never get your name on
44:58
Speaker 3: the wall at the comedy store, and you'll never be
45:00
Speaker 3: a real comic. I bomb Hard hosting four casino shows recently,
45:04
Speaker 3: which left me wondering. Do I grind away and write
45:07
Speaker 3: material for any crowd or should I focus on shaping
45:09
Speaker 3: comedy that really reflects who I am? Psychology based material?
45:13
Speaker 3: Should I be aimed at therapists, mental health professionals and
45:16
Speaker 3: maybe try to get gigs at mental health conferences?
45:18
Speaker 4: No?
45:19
Speaker 3: How do I keep moving forward without abandoning myself to
45:21
Speaker 3: comparison or self doubt?
45:23
Speaker 2: Danielle Well? First of all, Hi Danielle, how are you?
45:27
Speaker 4: Hi?
45:27
Speaker 2: I'm so good, Thank you for having me.
45:29
Speaker 1: This is our special guest, Roy Wood Junior. Two comedians
45:32
Speaker 1: that you could talk to right now.
45:34
Speaker 4: Hi, daniel One time for the West Side with the
45:37
Speaker 4: good Mexican food upstairs.
45:39
Speaker 2: Right on.
45:41
Speaker 1: First of all, don't gear your casinos suck? Okay, just
45:46
Speaker 1: so you know, I'm saying, I mean, you know, because
45:48
Speaker 1: most casinos suck. I have a residency at a casino
45:51
Speaker 1: that does not suck, but a lot of casinos do suck.
45:53
Speaker 1: Especially you know that's not your target crowd, so don't
45:57
Speaker 1: let that. That's part of the process. Also, bombing is
46:01
Speaker 1: part of the process. It doesn't feel good when it's happening, obviously,
46:05
Speaker 1: but it makes you a stronger comic.
46:07
Speaker 2: Roy would you agree.
46:08
Speaker 4: With that, absolutely, it's the repetition of it all. Also,
46:12
Speaker 4: you're still stuck on you at twenty twelve, so you're
46:14
Speaker 4: measuring yourself in progress from twenty twelve. I feel like
46:17
Speaker 4: if you start comedy and stop, you essentially start back
46:22
Speaker 4: at zero again whenever you come back in, because you're
46:26
Speaker 4: a different person. You can't even do those old jokes anymore.
46:29
Speaker 4: You can't compare yourself to the young And it's a
46:32
Speaker 4: leap frog game. Some start late, some start early, Some
46:36
Speaker 4: leapfrog and then fizzle out, some figure it out later.
46:41
Speaker 4: I think that that part of it. I think the
46:44
Speaker 4: name of the game. The advantage you have over any
46:46
Speaker 4: actor is that you can build an audience. And if
46:49
Speaker 4: you have an audience, then you have control, which means
46:52
Speaker 4: you can write your own thing, you can create your
46:54
Speaker 4: own thing, and you're a comic with the real world experience,
46:59
Speaker 4: like you didn't just do this forever, like you've had
47:02
Speaker 4: regular jobs and shit, you've had an experience. I think
47:06
Speaker 4: that you lean into the material that will get you
47:09
Speaker 4: rebooked at you know, some of these club spots and
47:11
Speaker 4: stuff like that. But if you can find your own
47:14
Speaker 4: audience online. If it was ten years ago, I'd have
47:17
Speaker 4: told you be broad, pray for a Jimmy Fallon Late
47:20
Speaker 4: Night set, and then maybe that'll be the thing that
47:22
Speaker 4: gets you to the Montreal Showcase. Now, if you become
47:27
Speaker 4: the person that has a sandbox that works exclusively in
47:31
Speaker 4: a thing, you can grow and build from that and
47:35
Speaker 4: have a very viable audience. You know, when I think
47:38
Speaker 4: about like the guys We Fucked podcasts, or if you
47:41
Speaker 4: think about, say, I'm trying to think of like some
47:45
Speaker 4: of the other stand ups that just went off and
47:48
Speaker 4: did their own thing. I'm just over here doing the part.
47:51
Speaker 4: Mark Maron's a great example where it's just I'm just
47:53
Speaker 4: gonna talk about the things that matter to me, and
47:55
Speaker 4: the people who find me are the people who will
47:57
Speaker 4: cherish it honestly. To pay bills and so you tell
48:00
Speaker 4: me if I'm right or wrong on this. To pay bills.
48:04
Speaker 4: Even in New York, you only need twenty cities where
48:09
Speaker 4: you can sell about four hundred tickets. Maybe let's just
48:14
Speaker 4: let's say a thousand tickets. If you do four nights,
48:16
Speaker 4: two fifty a show, you could pay bills just on
48:21
Speaker 4: twenty cities. Now, will you be big? Will you be huge?
48:24
Speaker 4: Will you be everywhere? I don't know that's debatable, but
48:28
Speaker 4: I really do think that the idea of success versus
48:32
Speaker 4: stardom is something that's blurred. And I think that comedians
48:37
Speaker 4: who are on, who feel like they're on the outside
48:38
Speaker 4: looking in, look at stardom as the only form of success.
48:44
Speaker 4: You can go do those corporate I bet you one
48:45
Speaker 4: of them therapy conferences will pay your ass twenty five
48:48
Speaker 4: K to one hundred k to Aventure. I remember there
48:51
Speaker 4: was a guy I opened for. I think his name
48:55
Speaker 4: is Mark Klein. If I'm not mistaken, Mark Klein used
48:58
Speaker 4: to call himself the core corp, the corp gesture he
49:03
Speaker 4: only did corporates. I don't think in my and I'm
49:07
Speaker 4: not saying it's to shit on Mark Klein if he's
49:08
Speaker 4: still out there doing stand up. I don't think he
49:11
Speaker 4: had a television credit in the two thousands and was
49:16
Speaker 4: living comfortably and great. So it's all about what your
49:20
Speaker 4: idea of success is as well, because if you could
49:23
Speaker 4: bring humor to the MFA world, there's not a lot
49:26
Speaker 4: of people qualified to even tackle into that, so you
49:29
Speaker 4: could be the beachhead.
49:30
Speaker 2: Also, look at Leanne Morgan. I mean, she just hit it.
49:34
Speaker 2: She's older than everybody here. You know, she just hit
49:36
Speaker 2: it the last few years.
49:38
Speaker 1: So you don't know when you know your success or
49:41
Speaker 1: your version of success is going to happen. But you know,
49:43
Speaker 1: comparing yourself to others is not uncommon. Everybody is doing
49:47
Speaker 1: that because of social media. But it's not a great habit.
49:50
Speaker 1: It doesn't bring out the best in any of us
49:52
Speaker 1: to sit there and look at what other people are doing.
49:54
Speaker 1: You have to be confident in the fact that you
49:56
Speaker 1: have your own path and that you're going to go
49:58
Speaker 1: down the road that you're going down, that the road
50:00
Speaker 1: that is curated for you by you, you know what
50:03
Speaker 1: I mean. You're the one who's making decisions around yourself
50:05
Speaker 1: and around your career and what you're going to do,
50:08
Speaker 1: and you have to have confidence in that in and
50:10
Speaker 1: of itself, that's what you're doing something how many other
50:13
Speaker 1: people are doing what you're doing not, you know, probably
50:17
Speaker 1: not very many who have a degree an MFAA. Do
50:21
Speaker 1: you have a marriage, Family, Child Counseling MFCC and your
50:25
Speaker 1: other Bachelor of Fine Arts? Did you also say that
50:28
Speaker 1: you had one of those MFA from USC acting MFA. Sorry, okay,
50:32
Speaker 1: so they're a Master of Fine Arts. So that's already original.
50:36
Speaker 1: You know, that's stuff you can use. And I wouldn't
50:39
Speaker 1: curtail your material to different people.
50:41
Speaker 2: It's like you kind of like, I feel this way.
50:43
Speaker 1: I don't know, Roy, you tell me, I do my
50:46
Speaker 1: thing wherever I am, Like, I don't ever adjust it
50:50
Speaker 1: for people, because I just feel like you have to
50:54
Speaker 1: really know what you're doing on stage and be completely
50:57
Speaker 1: committed to that material because if you're or not, that's
51:01
Speaker 1: when you have a bad experience or a week set
51:04
Speaker 1: or you get or you feel like you bombed. Is
51:07
Speaker 1: when you're not confident, you know, because you can.
51:11
Speaker 4: Smell t to be something you weren't for an audience
51:14
Speaker 4: that was never going to appreciate the truest version of you.
51:17
Speaker 4: So now you're just it's like, you know, if you
51:20
Speaker 4: think of comedy as a relationship and you on stage
51:23
Speaker 4: is the first date. How much are you going to
51:25
Speaker 4: pretend to be something just so that that particular date
51:30
Speaker 4: likes you? Well, then who the who the fuck are you?
51:33
Speaker 4: It's a great analogy. It's just likability and trying to
51:36
Speaker 4: get people to like you enough to go on a
51:39
Speaker 4: journey with you, and some people might not. I do
51:44
Speaker 4: think one thing that, And I don't know what your
51:47
Speaker 4: writing habits are, but critique yourself often and try to
51:53
Speaker 4: find and squeeze an extra line of laugh out of material.
51:59
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna like I write the tightest for laugh
52:02
Speaker 4: per minute type sets, but I think a lot of people,
52:07
Speaker 4: especially in New York, a lot of the newer comics,
52:10
Speaker 4: in my opinion, they get very comfortable once the joke
52:13
Speaker 4: gets a laugh or two and they go, Okay, that
52:15
Speaker 4: joke's done. Like, no, it might not be. Think of it.
52:20
Speaker 4: Listen to it a couple of different ways, Like just
52:23
Speaker 4: you can message me offline and I can give you
52:25
Speaker 4: what my approach has always been. It's just what happens
52:29
Speaker 4: if I tell this joke louder, faster, or a different octave.
52:33
Speaker 4: You could take words that aren't even funny and make
52:36
Speaker 4: them funny. Like there's ways to just juice another laugh
52:40
Speaker 4: out of stuff, and be comfortable with hating yourself, because
52:45
Speaker 4: sometimes I listen to audio of myself and I watch
52:48
Speaker 4: it as a hater, like listen to it as he
52:51
Speaker 4: and then I give tags like well what he should
52:53
Speaker 4: have said was this? Oh, well i'm him. Well I
52:56
Speaker 4: just tag my own shit just by listening to it.
52:58
Speaker 4: It's a free joke, so you know that part of it.
53:02
Speaker 4: Don't run away from it. But I really do think
53:04
Speaker 4: that the idea of just performing and waiting for you know,
53:11
Speaker 4: comedy Jesus to find us in the back of the
53:13
Speaker 4: comedy clubs, I think those days are gone. I think
53:18
Speaker 4: it's all about being yourself consistently enough and then growing
53:24
Speaker 4: from there. I stop short of telling comedians to put
53:27
Speaker 4: clips out every week or every month or whatever, but
53:30
Speaker 4: find a pace that makes sense for you, or be
53:34
Speaker 4: the comic that's responsive to a particular issue on a
53:40
Speaker 4: regular basis. And maybe that's your thing, or maybe it's
53:44
Speaker 4: the Hey, this current event happened. Let me show you
53:47
Speaker 4: how this fits into the world of therapy. Yeah, here's too.
53:53
Speaker 2: You know that's interesting.
53:54
Speaker 1: I'm mentioning on like world events, pop culture, whatever, you're
53:57
Speaker 1: the most passionate about through the lens of with that.
54:01
Speaker 3: Bet Well, I think mental health and therapy stuff like
54:03
Speaker 3: does play more broadly nowadays, Like we all have that language.
54:06
Speaker 3: It's become Dear Weger, I also want to say that
54:10
Speaker 3: Corpjester dot com is alive and well, so Mark Klein
54:12
Speaker 3: is out there, danns Wow.
54:18
Speaker 2: Awesome. Okay, Well, I hope that was helpful. Danielle very
54:21
Speaker 2: I really appreciate it. Thank you so much for the time. Sure,
54:24
Speaker 2: nice to meet you both. Nice to meet you, Danielle.
54:27
Speaker 2: Nice to see you, Catherine. Thank you.
54:28
Speaker 4: Guys.
54:29
Speaker 1: We're going to take a quick break and we'll be
54:31
Speaker 1: right back with roy Wood.
54:37
Speaker 2: And we're back with roy Wood Junior and Senior.
54:40
Speaker 3: Okay, so our last question comes from Carrie. This one
54:44
Speaker 3: was just an email, she says, Dear Chelsea, I'm not
54:47
Speaker 3: a stand up comedian, comedian or frontline act i E.
54:50
Speaker 4: Entertainer.
54:51
Speaker 3: However, I'm in the entertainment business and understand how it
54:54
Speaker 3: all works. I'm heavily involved in the music SNL thirty
54:57
Speaker 3: rock comedy scene on the business end. Years ago, I
55:00
Speaker 3: pursued a guy who's involved with a comedy podcasting and
55:03
Speaker 3: he didn't show reciprocated feelings. Now, two years later, I'm
55:06
Speaker 3: really interested in another comedian, but I'm scared to be
55:09
Speaker 3: labeled as a chuckle fucker. I feel like only women
55:12
Speaker 3: get these labels, and I'm not sure how to navigate it.
55:14
Speaker 3: Do I just say fuck it and shoot my shot?
55:16
Speaker 3: Or should I look elsewhere?
55:17
Speaker 2: Carrie? Yeah, fuck it? What do you care what?
55:19
Speaker 1: It's a chuckle fucker anyway, I mean, who gives a
55:23
Speaker 1: shit what anyone thinks.
55:24
Speaker 2: If you like funny men, you like funny men.
55:26
Speaker 4: Also, chuckle fucker's reserved for people not in the business.
55:30
Speaker 4: And this is as a guy who's fucked a couple
55:32
Speaker 4: chuckle fuckers. Chuckle Fuckers are not people that are within
55:36
Speaker 4: the industry. You're just somebody in the industry dating people
55:39
Speaker 4: in the industry. Cops fuck cops, sometimes they fuck firefighters.
55:44
Speaker 4: I think you shoot your shot. I do think that
55:47
Speaker 4: I would be very discreet about it. I wouldn't put
55:49
Speaker 4: a lot of public appearance on that. Just know that
55:51
Speaker 4: if it's taking off at some point, he's gonna tell
55:54
Speaker 4: a friend or a buddy or whatever. But you know,
55:57
Speaker 4: why not fill it out and just say hello, oh,
56:00
Speaker 4: just you know.
56:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.
56:02
Speaker 1: I wouldn't worry about your label being labeled anything you're in.
56:06
Speaker 1: You know you're in the business. You're in the business.
56:09
Speaker 1: Just because you're not a comedian doesn't mean you're not.
56:10
Speaker 2: In the business. It's all related and who cares.
56:14
Speaker 1: My god, we're all gonna die soon anyway, it doesn't
56:17
Speaker 1: fucking matter.
56:18
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know how old that person is, but
56:19
Speaker 4: once they get into the thirties, you're going to realize
56:21
Speaker 4: that there's a couple of comics that have all cross
56:24
Speaker 4: pollinated and you know, never openly dated one not is
56:28
Speaker 4: it like a title of girlfriend, but I've dated like
56:31
Speaker 4: two or three comedians.
56:33
Speaker 2: Well, I think you and Yaminika should start dating. That's
56:36
Speaker 2: my start.
56:37
Speaker 4: Rumors stn't start.
56:39
Speaker 1: You know, she's looking for someone, she's looking for someone
56:41
Speaker 1: to land on, and it might just be you.
56:44
Speaker 4: It might just be you, and I've told her a
56:46
Speaker 4: long time ago. I don't know if you step mo
56:48
Speaker 4: material I got a nine year old, you might try
56:51
Speaker 4: and cuss out my baby and then his mam would
56:55
Speaker 4: be over. Let me stop.
56:58
Speaker 2: Talking before we let you go.
57:00
Speaker 1: I just want to know, since you have a political
57:01
Speaker 1: show and you're a political commentator, Well, how do you
57:04
Speaker 1: see what's your view or long lens of our current
57:08
Speaker 1: political situation.
57:09
Speaker 2: How do you see things?
57:11
Speaker 4: I think that we are into an administration that, if
57:14
Speaker 4: we are not careful, is going to be controlling the
57:17
Speaker 4: messaging through all of the media, through lawsuits and intimidations
57:20
Speaker 4: and leveraging money as a way to silence voices. And
57:27
Speaker 4: I don't think that's something that's exclusive to liberals. If
57:31
Speaker 4: you want to get you know, get into the weeds
57:33
Speaker 4: of freedom of speech and stuff like that. Like that part,
57:38
Speaker 4: you know, scares me for sure, Like that's real cancel
57:41
Speaker 4: culture when you can't even vocalize or verbalize anything, or
57:45
Speaker 4: someone controls all the airways so you can't even get
57:48
Speaker 4: equal time to spit your opinions and perspectives. That makes
57:52
Speaker 4: me nervous. But it was nice to see what I
57:57
Speaker 4: perceived to be the comedy community together on the Jimmy
58:02
Speaker 4: Kimmel joint and all saying well, wait, you can't do that.
58:07
Speaker 4: And that gives me hope because comedians are still the
58:10
Speaker 4: tip of the spear. If anything's going to change, I
58:13
Speaker 4: think it starts with comedians and also strippers, because the
58:18
Speaker 4: strippers be dancing for the politicians and.
58:20
Speaker 1: Thank you very much for that sentiment. Thank you, Roy
58:24
Speaker 1: Wood Junior. You can catch him on CNN. His show
58:27
Speaker 1: is called Have I Got News for You? His new
58:30
Speaker 1: book is called The Man of Many Fathers. It's an
58:33
Speaker 1: incredible book. I recommend every mother getting this and reading it,
58:38
Speaker 1: and any straight men that are listening to this you should.
58:41
Speaker 2: Read it too.
58:42
Speaker 1: But I doubt there are a lot of straight men
58:44
Speaker 1: listening to this podcast, and women read more than men,
58:48
Speaker 1: So there we go.
58:50
Speaker 2: I'm glad to be a woman.
58:51
Speaker 1: I'm proud of our female listener readers, and who needs
58:55
Speaker 1: straight men anyway?
58:57
Speaker 2: Thank you Roy Wait for a minute now.
59:01
Speaker 1: Congratulations, right, We love you, Thank you for coming on.
59:07
Speaker 5: The word of the week is penurious, adjective given to
59:12
Speaker 5: or marked by extreme frugality. Penurious, the penurious miser declined
59:20
Speaker 5: to put a coin in the Salvation army bucket.
59:24
Speaker 2: Penurious.
59:27
Speaker 1: I just announced all my tour dates. It's called the
59:29
Speaker 1: High and Mighty Tour.
59:31
Speaker 2: I will be touring.
59:33
Speaker 1: From February through June, So go get your tickets now
59:36
Speaker 1: if you want good seats and you want to come
59:38
Speaker 1: see me perform, I will be on the High and
59:41
Speaker 1: Mighty Tour.
59:42
Speaker 2: Do you want advice?
59:43
Speaker 3: From Chelsea right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com.
59:47
Speaker 3: Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by
59:50
Speaker 3: searching at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and
59:54
Speaker 3: engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and be
59:58
Speaker 3: sure to check out our merch at Chelsea ham Dour
1:00:00
Speaker 3: dot com m