Latest / Xenomania / Critters 4 Went to Space… and It Gets Weird - Xenomania 69

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Critters 4 Went to Space… and It Gets Weird - Xenomania 69 · Xenomania

• 0:00
  Jon: This week on Xenomania, join us as we take our final trek into the world
• 0:07
  of the critters with Critters four, as they return to their interstellar
• 0:13
  home to wreak havoc in space.
• 0:16
  But does it hold up to the first three?
• 0:20
  Surprisingly, probably not.
• 0:24
  But we will have fun with a game and a discussion.
• 0:28
  This is Critters four, and we are xenomania.
• 0:51
  Kearns: This is either the Billy Baldwin or the Steven Baldwin
• 0:54
  of the Critters franchise.
• 0:56
  I've been thinking about, I've been thinking about this a lot.
• 0:59
  Ryan: Billy,
• 1:00
  Kearns: I mean, Billy, if Billy, because it's like middle-ish.
• 1:04
  'cause there are Critters movies after it.
• 1:06
  And 'cause he, what was he in Slither?
• 1:08
  Was that his claim to fame
• 1:11
  Ryan: Slither.
• 1:12
  Kearns: Sliver?
• 1:13
  Ryan: in the Sopranos,
• 1:14
  Kearns: that was fine.
• 1:15
  Ryan: know,
• 1:15
  Kearns: was just fine.
• 1:17
  Ryan: was it Backdraft?
• 1:18
  Kearns: Backdraft was probably his biggest movie.
• 1:20
  You're right.
• 1:20
  So yes.
• 1:21
  I mean maybe because there's some good, there's some high notes in
• 1:24
  this, but they're not too high.
• 1:26
  Or Stephen Baldwin because he's the youngest and
• 1:29
  Jon: This is the Baldwin brother that didn't go into acting.
• 1:33
  Kearns: Yeah, that might be closer to the assessment.
• 1:36
  We're talking about critters for tonight, everybody and Wow,
• 1:40
  this is gonna be a sad episode.
• 1:43
  Jon: I mean, it's gonna be fun because it's rare that none of us really
• 1:46
  like one of these movies too much.
• 1:49
  Kearns: I mean, it's, it's
• 1:51
  Jon: Yeah.
• 1:52
  I,
• 1:52
  Kearns: B-movie potential.
• 1:55
  It gets your bath salts together with your friends and watch it.
• 1:59
  Jon: yeah.
• 2:00
  I, I think if you sit around with a group of your boys and do a few substances,
• 2:05
  you can have some fun with KT for,
• 2:08
  Kearns: Mm-hmm.
• 2:09
  Jon: alone on the couch at four o'clock in the afternoon.
• 2:14
  Not so much.
• 2:16
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 2:16
  It's a toughie.
• 2:17
  Birds chirping outside the sun coming in
• 2:19
  Jon: Uh,
• 2:20
  Kearns: like, why
• 2:20
  Jon: yeah.
• 2:22
  It's so nice out.
• 2:23
  I should be outside, not sitting here watching Critters four with no critters.
• 2:30
  Kearns: Ugh.
• 2:30
  Ryan: yeah.
• 2:31
  You know why you're doing it?
• 2:32
  You're watching it because you got Brad Draf in it.
• 2:35
  You got Angela Bassett
• 2:37
  Jon: Butt
• 2:39
  Kearns: And her butt.
• 2:39
  Yeah.
• 2:40
  Ryan: well, to like, to be determined.
• 2:43
  Jon: somebody else's butt.
• 2:44
  I'm sure that exists somewhere, and I should have looked it up.
• 2:48
  Kearns: we need, well, I'd rather the audience figure that out
• 2:50
  for us, to be honest with you.
• 2:51
  We gotta cut it.
• 2:52
  Short of this one part.
• 2:53
  Tell us, is that a stunt double or a body double for Angela Bassett?
• 2:57
  Ryan: don't believe it is.
• 2:58
  I mean, you said there's a cut, but if you watch it, it seems very seamless.
• 3:02
  Kearns: Ryan has spent hours studying that
• 3:04
  Jon: Yeah,
• 3:05
  Kearns: he knows,
• 3:06
  Jon: Ryan.
• 3:06
  Ryan.
• 3:07
  Ryan has analyzed that shower scene, like people's analyzed those app pruner film.
• 3:13
  Kearns: like
• 3:14
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 3:15
  Kearns: assassination back into the left, Angela, back
• 3:18
  Jon: Okay.
• 3:19
  Zoom in.
• 3:20
  Zoom in.
• 3:22
  Ah.
• 3:22
  See that little butt pimple right there?
• 3:25
  That's Angela Bassett's pimple.
• 3:28
  Ryan: we had, you know, we had an exact scene in the living room.
• 3:31
  But anyway,
• 3:32
  Kearns: Oh wow.
• 3:35
  Jon: Ryan's like, Ryan's like got his face face pressed up to the screen.
• 3:41
  Like, is it really her?
• 3:44
  Kearns: never seen you do that before.
• 3:45
  Wow.
• 3:48
  Jon: Is it her?
• 3:48
  Ryan: listen, I spent five minutes cleaning that screen.
• 3:51
  Okay.
• 3:52
  Kearns: Oh Lord, that might, that belie a story We don't
• 3:57
  Jon: ooh.
• 3:58
  Yeah.
• 3:58
  Ryan: It was smudges.
• 3:59
  Smudges.
• 4:00
  Alright.
• 4:00
  Jon: Uhhuh,
• 4:01
  Ryan: minds outta the
• 4:02
  Jon: uhhuh, smudges, smudges from what?
• 4:06
  Ryan: my nose, my nose, sir, and my eyeball, but even with their acting
• 4:12
  power, it really, it doesn't like hold up as like one, two, or even three.
• 4:19
  Like three was even better than this.
• 4:21
  Jon: Absolutely.
• 4:22
  They took the fun out of the franchise and for, there's
• 4:25
  hardly any of those fun moments.
• 4:28
  This is more like a serious horror movie that misses in that regard too.
• 4:34
  Kearns: You know what, what gets me about this one is they could have
• 4:38
  had so much fun with the space aspect because critter starts in space.
• 4:42
  Jon: Yeah,
• 4:42
  Kearns: It belongs.
• 4:45
  So I don't understand how they fumbled the bag so hard on
• 4:50
  this one, they fumbled the bag.
• 4:52
  Jon: and they've really, I mean, so much of this movie is just
• 4:56
  lifted from other sci-fi movies.
• 5:00
  Like
• 5:01
  Ryan: Y
• 5:02
  Jon: that, that might be a fun thing to sit and do.
• 5:05
  One night for, some people is just sit there and identify which sci-fi movies
• 5:10
  they're ripping off in this scene because there's, there's a hundred
• 5:14
  percent Star Trek, a hundred percent alien franchise Star Wars there.
• 5:20
  I mean, that's, that scene in, in the, in the trash compactor
• 5:24
  is a 100% Star Wars ripoff scene.
• 5:29
  Kearns: that's true.
• 5:30
  Ryan: you mentioned what scene, I'd know what is ripped off, I
• 5:33
  saw and I was like, oh my God.
• 5:35
  Like with the water, like I was waiting for something to
• 5:37
  Jon: Yeah.
• 5:38
  Ryan: and.
• 5:38
  Jon: Yeah.
• 5:39
  And I, I,
• 5:40
  Kearns: a rip off of Alien.
• 5:41
  Jon: mm-hmm.
• 5:42
  Ryan: a hundred percent.
• 5:43
  Jon: The, this,
• 5:44
  Ryan: like crashing out of
• 5:46
  Jon: this ship going out of the, um, going off to salvage a ship.
• 5:52
  You know, a, stranded spaceship and all that.
• 5:55
  And like, it's like, uh, I've seen all of this before.
• 5:59
  even like the, ship robot is sort of like Hal from 2001 if
• 6:07
  it was like not really smart.
• 6:10
  I think that's probably the funniest part is that the ship, computer
• 6:15
  and robotic voice are just idiots.
• 6:18
  Kearns: It's like the Windows Vista of, of the how series.
• 6:23
  Jon: Yeah.
• 6:24
  Yeah.
• 6:24
  Kearns: the worst one.
• 6:26
  I
• 6:26
  Jon: And
• 6:27
  Kearns: of the Robot is somebody famous.
• 6:29
  Our, um, I forgot I looked into it 'cause I,
• 6:32
  Jon: yes, it is Martine Beswick.
• 6:35
  Yeah,
• 6:35
  Kearns: the bond girl, right?
• 6:37
  Jon: she was in three bond movies.
• 6:39
  I don't know if she was ever like a full on Bond girl, but
• 6:43
  she was in three bond movies.
• 6:45
  She was in a lot of stuff.
• 6:47
  Kearns: Wow.
• 6:47
  Ryan: Oh,
• 6:48
  Kearns: one of the working actors.
• 6:50
  Jon: Yeah,
• 6:51
  Ryan: I'm looking it up.
• 6:52
  Jon: she was in Dr. No, I want to say maybe, was she, I think she
• 6:58
  was in the one that went, the James Bond that went to Space Thunderball.
• 7:02
  Was Thunderball the one that went to Space
• 7:04
  Kearns: for this episode.
• 7:05
  Ryan: Uh, that's, uh, Moonraker.
• 7:06
  Thunderball
• 7:07
  Jon: Moon, maker
• 7:08
  Ryan: one and that's the one with Emilio Largo.
• 7:11
  Um, and she was in from Russia with
• 7:13
  Jon: Uhhuh?
• 7:13
  Ryan: which she's probably in.
• 7:15
  Oh.
• 7:15
  She's in the gypsy scene when they have the gypsy scene fight.
• 7:19
  Jon: Yeah.
• 7:20
  Kearns: scene fight.
• 7:22
  Ryan: From Russia.
• 7:22
  What Love is a amazing spy thriller just
• 7:25
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 7:26
  Ryan: minus it being a bond film.
• 7:28
  Jon: I mean, I'm gonna, say some potentially controversial
• 7:33
  bond things right now.
• 7:35
  Connery Roger Moore.
• 7:37
  Great.
• 7:39
  Everything after them until Daniel Craig.
• 7:42
  Not good.
• 7:44
  Kearns: I agree.
• 7:45
  Jon: Not good Pierce, bro.
• 7:47
  I,
• 7:47
  Kearns: were
• 7:47
  Jon: I like Pierce Brosnan, but those weren't Bond movies.
• 7:52
  And like,
• 7:53
  Kearns: Yeah,
• 7:54
  Jon: I remember that time period from the end of Roger Moore to
• 7:57
  the end of Pierce Brosnan, people saying, oh, I think Bond is dead.
• 8:01
  Too many other action movies.
• 8:03
  Too many this, too many, no.
• 8:05
  It's who you cast as Bond.
• 8:08
  Kearns: yeah, they almost did Cavel.
• 8:10
  He, I think he ended up walking on Bond,
• 8:13
  Ryan: he did.
• 8:14
  Kearns: yeah, they almost.
• 8:14
  Jon: I don't know.
• 8:15
  I think, I think Daniel Craig was as good as you were gonna do.
• 8:18
  Like he's got
• 8:20
  Kearns: Yeah, he was pretty
• 8:21
  Jon: enough different,
• 8:22
  Ryan: Craig was
• 8:22
  Jon: I, and like I, I know there were pe Oh, he's a blonde bond isn't a blonde.
• 8:27
  Like we're doing that.
• 8:28
  Like, like now who's gonna be the next bond?
• 8:31
  And you people say, Idris Alba, no Bond isn't black.
• 8:35
  Like James Bond is whatever you want James Bond to be.
• 8:39
  Kearns: Bond can be whatever you want.
• 8:41
  Right.
• 8:41
  But yeah, casting Idris Elba to go back to our like fourth episode as Roland in
• 8:46
  the Dark Tower series was a terrible idea.
• 8:50
  Ryan: I
• 8:50
  Jon: I'm with that too.
• 8:51
  Ryan: Elba Bond,
• 8:52
  Kearns: Well,
• 8:52
  Jon: Put eat yourself.
• 8:53
  Kearns: and just for people who didn't listen, there's a huge
• 8:57
  thing with a racist character.
• 8:59
  Well, she's not even racist.
• 9:00
  She's like possessed, but still racism is involved.
• 9:03
  That to do with him being white.
• 9:06
  So you can't do it like it, you can't.
• 9:08
  It destroys the canon of the story.
• 9:10
  Anyway, moving on.
• 9:12
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 9:12
  Ryan: Oh.
• 9:13
  Well, real quick.
• 9:14
  It's.
• 9:15
  Get back to Bond real quick.
• 9:16
  Um, Dalton is good you rewatch license to Kill in Living Daylights.
• 9:22
  It's a serious bond.
• 9:23
  And if you read the books, he takes it more from what Ian Fleming had.
• 9:27
  Sean Connery mixes a little, but Timothy Dalton is like the true novelization
• 9:34
  Kearns: This is gonna be
• 9:34
  Jon: Yeah.
• 9:35
  Kearns: episodes where we talk about everything but critters for
• 9:38
  Ryan: but,
• 9:38
  Jon: Which,
• 9:39
  Ryan: Sean Connery.
• 9:39
  Sean Connery's my number one bond,
• 9:41
  Kearns: Yeah, he is.
• 9:42
  Jon: yeah, I think, I think I actually go Connery Craig Moore, and then
• 9:47
  whoever you wanna put next, like the,
• 9:49
  Kearns: glad you
• 9:50
  Jon: the ones that
• 9:50
  Kearns: of more.
• 9:51
  I do too.
• 9:52
  Ryan: yeah.
• 9:53
  Kearns: More sucks.
• 9:54
  Ryan: Whoa, whoa,
• 9:55
  Jon: I like Roger more, I think.
• 9:57
  I think Roger Moore is, is really awesome, but he feels, he feels less like a
• 10:03
  James Bond type than Connery and Craig.
• 10:07
  Kearns: Yeah, he's, he looks, he's like an IBM executive type.
• 10:10
  Jon: Yeah.
• 10:11
  Ryan: the man with the Golden gun, which is
• 10:13
  Kearns: I did like that movie though.
• 10:15
  Ryan: But it's a good film because you get the oop.
• 10:17
  But do you need the whistle in the oop?
• 10:19
  And then you got Moonraker, which is in space.
• 10:21
  But you have like serious ones like Living Let
• 10:23
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 10:24
  Ryan: Who Love Me For Your Eyes Only.
• 10:26
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 10:27
  Ryan: I'm a big Bond fan.
• 10:28
  Even like a View to a Kill.
• 10:30
  Like it's creepy because he's like 60 years old with
• 10:33
  Tanya Roberts, who's like 20.
• 10:35
  But Christopher Walken
• 10:36
  Kearns: can suspend my disbelief on that.
• 10:38
  Ryan: is
• 10:39
  Jon: the dream.
• 10:39
  Ryan: it's, it's hard when you see the wrinkly skin, you see
• 10:43
  Jon: the dream.
• 10:43
  Ryan: that that was a nightmare for her.
• 10:46
  Kearns: Was it?
• 10:46
  Jon: I didn't say it was a dream for her.
• 10:49
  Ryan: more,
• 10:50
  Kearns: Mm-hmm.
• 10:52
  Ryan: more of a nightmare for the cast because she was very
• 10:54
  particular and there's behind the scenes of him being snarky with her,
• 10:58
  Kearns: Oh, okay.
• 10:59
  He was mean.
• 11:00
  Got it.
• 11:00
  Ryan: not that.
• 11:01
  No.
• 11:01
  She deserved it.
• 11:02
  She was like, scene, she's like, how's my hair?
• 11:06
  And he's like, you're in an action movie.
• 11:08
  Like,
• 11:09
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 11:09
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 11:09
  Ryan: like there's debris everywhere,
• 11:12
  Jon: I mean, listen, ultimately my, my favorite Roger Moore role is playing a
• 11:17
  version of himself in Kenton Ball Run.
• 11:21
  Kearns: Yeah, that's pretty cool.
• 11:24
  Ryan: Moore.
• 11:24
  Kearns: right, so critters for everybody.
• 11:25
  Um, so Charlie is stuck in a pot of some sort.
• 11:29
  They
• 11:29
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 11:29
  Kearns: the last critters at the end of Critters three.
• 11:32
  And this spaceship filled with, not Ripley, but Ripley, gets a
• 11:37
  call from Ugg saying they have to pick up this floating pod.
• 11:42
  And they do.
• 11:43
  And that's great.
• 11:44
  And that's kind of what kicks us off here.
• 11:46
  And we find out it was Charlie in the pod because the dumb captain opens it up, and
• 11:51
  that's like the entire plot of the movie.
• 11:52
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 11:53
  Kearns: I don't
• 11:54
  Jon: And
• 11:54
  Kearns: any plot
• 11:55
  Jon: try,
• 11:55
  Kearns: to be
• 11:55
  Jon: yeah.
• 11:56
  I mean they, they're,
• 11:57
  Ryan: Ugg got corporate
• 11:59
  Jon: yeah.
• 12:00
  Ugg is now counselor, counselor Tetra,
• 12:05
  Kearns: Which is dumb.
• 12:07
  worst thing they did with this movie was that
• 12:09
  Jon: and was.
• 12:12
  Turn Ugg into the complete antagonist.
• 12:16
  Yeah, that was, that was a bad move.
• 12:18
  Bad move.
• 12:19
  Ryan: It was
• 12:20
  Kearns: The most likable character in the franchise.
• 12:23
  Arguably, maybe Charlie's more likable, but I don't, I don't see it that way.
• 12:27
  I, I like Ugg better.
• 12:29
  Ryan: Charlie's like the Reggie of this franchise, in my opinion.
• 12:32
  And then like Ugg is like, uh, I,
• 12:35
  Jon: Yeah.
• 12:36
  Ryan: say like a Mike.
• 12:37
  like, I'm trying to, I'm
• 12:39
  Jon: No, Charlie, Charlie's Michael.
• 12:41
  Yeah.
• 12:41
  Charlie's very Michael.
• 12:43
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 12:44
  Jon: Yeah,
• 12:44
  Ryan: I
• 12:45
  Jon: he's, he's,
• 12:45
  Ryan: more Reggie.
• 12:48
  Jon: uh, yeah, I guess, I guess you could, I mean, if you're gonna, I thought you
• 12:52
  were gonna make Ugg as Reggie, but Charlie can, Charlie can definitely be a Reggie.
• 12:58
  Ryan: I feel like the kid would be like a Michael and then the brother,
• 13:02
  Michael's brother would be more of an ug.
• 13:03
  I.
• 13:04
  Jon: I mean, there's no cons.
• 13:05
  Kearns: passed on this movie, by the way.
• 13:08
  Jon: Uh, I mean, they filmed it at the same time.
• 13:12
  Kearns: I was.
• 13:12
  Jon: He could have just bounced between sets.
• 13:15
  They, I was, I watched some of the making of four because I wanted to try to figure
• 13:20
  out what was in these people's minds.
• 13:22
  and they'd shoot a scene for three and then tear down the
• 13:26
  set and put up the four set.
• 13:27
  And like basically every other day they were filming three,
• 13:32
  then four, then three, then four.
• 13:34
  Which is probably why they both kind of suffer because there's not consistency.
• 13:39
  It's different directors.
• 13:41
  And I mean, you get a one time director for Critters four, Rupert Harvey.
• 13:46
  This is the only thing he ever directed.
• 13:49
  Kearns: Destroyed his
• 13:50
  Jon: movie he ever directs, directs is, is the fourth critters.
• 13:56
  I mean, Brad, Brad Durif did all right.
• 13:59
  Kearns: Yeah,
• 13:59
  Jon: He's,
• 13:59
  Kearns: can't,
• 14:00
  Jon: he, he held up.
• 14:01
  Yeah.
• 14:02
  Ryan: Child's play.
• 14:04
  Kearns: Yeah,
• 14:04
  Ryan: play is like before this, right?
• 14:06
  Jon: Yeah.
• 14:07
  Child's play was around.
• 14:08
  Yeah.
• 14:09
  I think you had two or three child's play by this point.
• 14:11
  Probably at least two.
• 14:13
  Ryan: Two.
• 14:14
  think.
• 14:14
  Two.
• 14:15
  Jon: So y Yeah.
• 14:17
  But I mean, it's also, child's play is him, but you don't see him.
• 14:24
  Kearns: Ah.
• 14:25
  Ryan: the beginning of the first film, though.
• 14:27
  In
• 14:28
  Jon: Yeah.
• 14:29
  But
• 14:30
  Ryan: the
• 14:30
  Jon: you don't really, you don't associate like his face with child's play.
• 14:38
  Ryan: True.
• 14:38
  And he, like his approach in this film is also like, he
• 14:43
  gives off like a different voice
• 14:45
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 14:45
  Ryan: not like the Chucky voice,
• 14:47
  Jon: Yeah.
• 14:48
  Ryan: I don't wanna say it's like his normal voice.
• 14:51
  'cause I feel like the Chucky is like him being normal.
• 14:54
  It's more, this is more like toned down,
• 14:57
  Jon: Yeah.
• 14:58
  Yeah.
• 14:59
  Ryan: Al, that's his name.
• 15:01
  Jon: Yeah.
• 15:02
  And it's not, it's not Bert, it's Al Bert.
• 15:07
  There is a space between which is like the craziest thing in the world.
• 15:12
  Like that's what you have for a name, huh?
• 15:15
  Al Bert.
• 15:17
  Ryan: and then Angela Bassett's.
• 15:19
  Fran,
• 15:20
  Jon: Yeah.
• 15:20
  Ryan: like
• 15:21
  Kearns: Neat.
• 15:22
  Ryan: you get a Bernie,
• 15:23
  Jon: And, and yay.
• 15:26
  And you get, Captain Rick who's kind of a jerk who becomes more and more of
• 15:31
  a jerk during his time in this movie.
• 15:35
  Kearns: throw a little essay on Angela in LA shower and Ryan's famous scene.
• 15:38
  I,
• 15:39
  Ryan: Yeah.
• 15:39
  Jon: I mean, he is definitely, he is definitely creeping on her the whole time.
• 15:43
  And then he, I think it's, it gets interrupted before
• 15:48
  it gets to the full essay.
• 15:50
  So it's not, you're not quite sure if he's gonna take the No, but.
• 15:56
  Ryan: Yep.
• 15:56
  Kearns: and she makes him take that now
• 15:59
  Jon: Yeah.
• 15:59
  Ryan: does.
• 16:00
  Kearns: gave him that
• 16:00
  Jon: Yeah.
• 16:01
  Kearns: Pacha
• 16:02
  Ryan: He deserved it.
• 16:03
  Kearns: just gave him that
• 16:04
  Jon: I mean,
• 16:04
  Kearns: basket.
• 16:05
  Jon: it's really also his fault that the critters get out anyway.
• 16:09
  'cause they're safe.
• 16:11
  They're gonna destroy Charlie.
• 16:12
  Kearns: fine.
• 16:13
  Mm-hmm.
• 16:14
  Jon: gonna destroy Charlie.
• 16:15
  But that's it.
• 16:16
  They're trapped in that pod counselor Tetra, his storm troopers,
• 16:21
  also a very Star Wars, moment.
• 16:23
  Him walking in looking like a cross between the Emperor and Darth
• 16:27
  Vader with his storm troopers.
• 16:30
  Kearns: Yeah,
• 16:31
  Ryan: They even make a reference to that Brad Durham's character.
• 16:34
  Albert says, well, you and your storm troopers.
• 16:37
  And I'm
• 16:37
  Jon: Yeah.
• 16:38
  Ryan: so
• 16:38
  Jon: Yeah.
• 16:38
  Kearns: have gotten sued.
• 16:40
  Jon: We're not even, we're not even gonna pretend.
• 16:43
  Ryan: I'm shocked George Lucas didn't sue him because
• 16:45
  Kearns: You see what everybody, didn't they?
• 16:47
  Ryan: yeah, he's like, happy with that.
• 16:49
  He almost sued Space Balls.
• 16:50
  Right?
• 16:51
  Jon: Yeah, I mean, he,
• 16:52
  Ryan: a story
• 16:53
  Jon: he's a lit, he's a lit, litigious little dude.
• 16:56
  I don't even know if I should call him little.
• 16:59
  I don't know.
• 17:00
  Alleg, allegedly little dude.
• 17:04
  Ryan: He's, short.
• 17:05
  I, you know, I've read his biography.
• 17:08
  Jon: I don't know.
• 17:08
  Is he short?
• 17:09
  I have no, no sense, no sense of whether George Lucas is tall or not.
• 17:15
  Kearns: Now I know he is got a beard and he is rotund.
• 17:18
  That's about it.
• 17:19
  Jon: Allegedly rotund.
• 17:21
  Kearns: why don't we hit the brakes here?
• 17:22
  And I, I've been dying to see what John's got for us for a game this week.
• 17:26
  I,
• 17:27
  Ryan: It's a new game too,
• 17:28
  Jon: It's brand new.
• 17:29
  It's a one time shot.
• 17:31
  For this version of the game, I may try to come up with.
• 17:36
  Another perform for it or another version of it or something.
• 17:40
  Kearns: I
• 17:41
  Jon: I think it's the easy,
• 17:42
  Kearns: name.
• 17:43
  Jon: I think it's the easiest one I've ever come up with for you guys.
• 17:47
  Ryan: Ooh,
• 17:48
  Jon: like,
• 17:48
  Kearns: it
• 17:49
  Jon: I, I think you guys are gonna have some fun with it, but it's,
• 17:52
  it's not going to be too difficult.
• 17:55
  It is.
• 17:56
  I'll give you the name before I even bring it up.
• 17:59
  This game is called Space or No Space.
• 18:04
  So basically I'm going to,
• 18:05
  Ryan: no
• 18:05
  Jon: I'm, I'm gonna show you part one in a bunch of horror franchises,
• 18:09
  and you're gonna tell me if that franchise went to space or not,
• 18:15
  Kearns: Okay.
• 18:15
  Ryan: Okay.
• 18:16
  Kearns: I know a
• 18:17
  Jon: and
• 18:17
  Kearns: already, so I should be
• 18:19
  Jon: Now I'm gonna, throw one thing in there in the spirit of Critters four,
• 18:25
  where they are aliens to begin with.
• 18:29
  Some of these are aliens.
• 18:31
  They just, their first appearances took place on earth.
• 18:38
  Okay, so let's bring this up.
• 18:40
  Kearns: Alien should not be on this list,
• 18:44
  Jon: No, because Alien never had Earth.
• 18:48
  Kearns: Never.
• 18:49
  Jon: All right,
• 18:50
  Ryan: alien
• 18:50
  Jon: we're gonna start,
• 18:52
  Kearns: no.
• 18:52
  Jon: we're gonna start super easy.
• 18:54
  Ah, I don't count that as, as part of the Alien franchise.
• 18:57
  Oops, hold on.
• 18:58
  There we go.
• 19:01
  First one,
• 19:02
  Kearns: Okay.
• 19:03
  Jon: sorry, I have a,
• 19:04
  Kearns: is
• 19:04
  Jon: an ant walking on my computer.
• 19:05
  Kearns: seizure.
• 19:06
  No.
• 19:07
  Jon: Nightmare on Elm Street.
• 19:09
  Did Nightmare on Elm Street end up in space?
• 19:13
  Ryan: no,
• 19:14
  Kearns: No,
• 19:15
  Jon: No.
• 19:15
  Kearns: I know that definitively.
• 19:17
  No, there's no
• 19:18
  Jon: And look,
• 19:18
  Kearns: vacuum of space.
• 19:19
  Jon: wait, wait, wait.
• 19:20
  Ryan: dreams.
• 19:22
  Jon: I have to, I have to give Allison, I have to give Allison
• 19:24
  a little credit here because.
• 19:27
  No space.
• 19:28
  She made a graphic for me.
• 19:30
  Kearns: She made a graphic for you.
• 19:33
  Jon: She made a graphic because I cannot do that myself.
• 19:36
  All right.
• 19:37
  Ryan: cool.
• 19:38
  Jon: Next franchise.
• 19:41
  Did the hell raise franchise, make it to space?
• 19:45
  Kearns: Yes,
• 19:47
  Ryan: It
• 19:47
  Kearns: I,
• 19:48
  Ryan: In bloodline.
• 19:50
  Jon: It sure did.
• 19:53
  Kearns: yeah, you
• 19:54
  Jon: There we go.
• 19:57
  Kearns: Very
• 19:58
  Jon: Or,
• 19:58
  Kearns: Well, I'm, I'm feeling good about this so far.
• 20:01
  Jon: yeah, there, there's a, I think there's a couple that are a little tricky,
• 20:05
  but they're mostly pretty straightforward.
• 20:07
  Next, did Halloween make it to space?
• 20:12
  Ryan: No space.
• 20:13
  Kearns: no, no space.
• 20:15
  It did make it to every wrapper who went platinum in the nineties, though.
• 20:19
  Jon: Yes,
• 20:20
  Ryan: Rhymes.
• 20:21
  Jon: except Ludicrous.
• 20:23
  Kearns: Uh, he would've been great in this franchise.
• 20:25
  Jon: No space for Halloween.
• 20:28
  Kearns: No
• 20:28
  Jon: Next
• 20:29
  Ryan: game,
• 20:30
  Kearns: It's going fast.
• 20:32
  Jon: Dracula 2000 and yes, this is a franchise.
• 20:35
  This does have a sequel,
• 20:39
  but does that sequel wind up in space?
• 20:44
  Kearns: Omar Epps is in this, uh,
• 20:47
  Jon: Yeah.
• 20:48
  Ryan: this is the first one of the trilogy.
• 20:51
  I'm trying to
• 20:51
  Jon: Yes.
• 20:54
  Kearns: I'm
• 20:54
  Jon: Does this go to space?
• 20:56
  Kearns: I'm gonna say yes because it feels like that's why, wouldn't they?
• 21:01
  Ryan: yeah.
• 21:02
  Kearns: dumb franchise,
• 21:04
  Ryan: It's
• 21:05
  Jon: This one absolutely goes to space
• 21:08
  Ryan: yeah.
• 21:09
  Kearns: Dracula
• 21:10
  Jon: with a tagline in space.
• 21:12
  There is no daylight.
• 21:14
  Kearns: but there is like tons of it in space.
• 21:17
  It's unfiltered all over in space.
• 21:21
  Jon: Yeah.
• 21:22
  Okay.
• 21:23
  Next.
• 21:25
  Cloverfield
• 21:26
  Kearns: Oh, uh, yes.
• 21:28
  I remember being very excited for when this went to space and then
• 21:31
  watching that movie and being very upset at JJ Abrams again,
• 21:36
  Jon: Ryan.
• 21:37
  Ryan: say Yes space.
• 21:39
  Kearns: paradox
• 21:41
  Jon: course it goes to space because why wouldn't it?
• 21:44
  And Kerns, you tell, you, tell me about this all the time, that like a lot of
• 21:50
  these, these Clover field movies weren't, or even originally Clover field movies
• 21:56
  Kearns: Yep.
• 21:56
  That's very
• 21:57
  Jon: then.
• 21:57
  Kearns: this one also was not a Cloverfield movie.
• 22:00
  This was more meant to be more like a, um, like the movie
• 22:04
  triangle with all the different time splits that occur and stuff.
• 22:08
  And then they, they throw up a cut of the clover monster in the
• 22:12
  last seven minutes of the movie.
• 22:13
  That's as tall as like the atmosphere.
• 22:16
  And that's what we get.
• 22:17
  And I was just furious.
• 22:19
  Jon: Yep.
• 22:20
  Ryan: I don't
• 22:20
  Kearns: I bought this for 1999 streaming too.
• 22:22
  I was so excited.
• 22:23
  Jon: Oh,
• 22:24
  Kearns: excited.
• 22:25
  Jon: this one.
• 22:25
  Wasn't it free on Netflix?
• 22:28
  Kearns: I don't know.
• 22:29
  Jon: I, I feel like they,
• 22:30
  Kearns: You are right.
• 22:31
  It was another one I bought for 1999 streaming.
• 22:34
  Ryan: okay.
• 22:34
  Kearns: Not this one.
• 22:35
  You're absolutely right.
• 22:36
  'cause this and like Godzilla Earth and stuff like that were
• 22:40
  all one I was so excited for
• 22:42
  Jon: mm-hmm.
• 22:42
  Kearns: and they were Netflix and I was like, god dammit.
• 22:45
  No wonder it's free,
• 22:49
  Jon: Yep.
• 22:50
  Yep.
• 22:51
  All right.
• 22:51
  Kearns: but yeah.
• 22:53
  Jon: Next franchise.
• 22:55
  Does Friday the 13th go to space?
• 22:58
  Kearns: Jason,
• 22:59
  Ryan: Jason X.
• 23:01
  Kearns: didn't we time that Perfectly?
• 23:04
  Ryan: It's a, that's a, a good one.
• 23:08
  Jon: Friday the 13th.
• 23:10
  Does go to space and changes the mask for no real reason.
• 23:16
  Kearns: None reason
• 23:18
  Jon: None reason.
• 23:19
  Ryan: with the times.
• 23:20
  It was cool.
• 23:22
  Jon: It was not, it was not
• 23:24
  Kearns: Jason,
• 23:26
  Ryan: Uber, Jason.
• 23:27
  Kearns: just make it more German.
• 23:29
  Jon: where Jason is, what it turned out to be.
• 23:34
  Next.
• 23:37
  Did 28 days later make it to space?
• 23:41
  Kearns: Hold on.
• 23:41
  It's gotta be a trick, right?
• 23:43
  Hold on,
• 23:44
  Ryan: Jimmy Christ in space.
• 23:46
  Kearns: I'm gonna, I gotta say no, but I'm wondering if we're missing something.
• 23:49
  So like a Sputnik, uh, issue going on here.
• 23:55
  Jon: No,
• 23:55
  Ryan: a
• 23:57
  Kearns: No, I never went to space.
• 23:59
  Jon: there's no space.
• 24:00
  I really just put 28 days later in here so I could use the no space graphic more.
• 24:07
  Kearns: No
• 24:07
  Jon: didn't, I didn't think you guys would be fooled by that one,
• 24:12
  but will you be fooled by this one?
• 24:15
  No.
• 24:15
  Kearns: Do, do, do, do, do.
• 24:17
  No, definitely not.
• 24:18
  Definitely.
• 24:19
  I like how they have to go straight on for the nose.
• 24:23
  Jon: And airbrushed the hell out of it.
• 24:26
  Kearns: Yeah, they, they went nuts with her on this one,
• 24:28
  Jon: This was,
• 24:29
  Kearns: Space.
• 24:30
  Ryan: Yes.
• 24:31
  Number four, leprechaun.
• 24:33
  Four.
• 24:34
  Jon: this was, this was definitely like a post friends blowing up cover for this
• 24:40
  to emphasize the Jennifer Aniston part.
• 24:43
  'cause this is not the original cover.
• 24:45
  Kearns: gets second billing to Warwick Davis on the cover.
• 24:48
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 24:48
  Kearns: bro.
• 24:49
  Ryan: Her nose is
• 24:50
  Kearns: for life,
• 24:52
  Jon: Oh yeah.
• 24:52
  They fixed up her nose for this.
• 24:54
  Yeah,
• 24:54
  Ryan: That's a
• 24:55
  Jon: definitely.
• 24:55
  Ryan: I want a, I want a 4K edition, but with the original poster that,
• 25:01
  Kearns: I
• 25:01
  Ryan: what I want.
• 25:02
  Jon: Fair enough.
• 25:03
  Fair enough.
• 25:03
  Ryan: out.
• 25:04
  Jon: So yes, leprechaun for in space,
• 25:08
  Kearns: in space.
• 25:10
  Ryan: this
• 25:11
  Jon: one small step for man, one giant leap of terror.
• 25:17
  Ryan: this is the one he, uh, bust out of the, uh, guy.
• 25:20
  Right.
• 25:21
  He bust out through his stomach.
• 25:23
  Jon: Yeah, I think so.
• 25:24
  I just had another idea.
• 25:26
  This just gave me an idea.
• 25:28
  It does,
• 25:29
  Kearns: real hard until those pass.
• 25:31
  Jon: does the franchise go to the hood?
• 25:33
  Can be another one
• 25:36
  Ryan: Ooh,
• 25:36
  Kearns: that would be amazing.
• 25:38
  Jon: because there's a few of those too.
• 25:40
  Yep.
• 25:40
  Ryan: it does.
• 25:41
  Kearns: That's my
• 25:41
  Jon: Here's
• 25:42
  Kearns: movie.
• 25:42
  When it goes to the hood.
• 25:48
  Jon: what do we have next
• 25:51
  Does.
• 25:55
  Ryan: I'm just thinking of the scene too.
• 25:57
  Kearns: Does,
• 25:57
  Ryan: thinking about it.
• 25:58
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 26:00
  Ryan: Uh,
• 26:00
  Kearns: does child play
• 26:02
  Ryan: are you
• 26:02
  Kearns: go to a space?
• 26:03
  Ryan: series though,
• 26:05
  Jon: I am not including the TV series.
• 26:07
  Kearns: I hate this cover, by the way.
• 26:10
  Jon: I like this cover so much.
• 26:12
  Kearns: lightning
• 26:12
  Ryan: cool.
• 26:13
  Kearns: it's a full blown cartoon, which is nice.
• 26:16
  A little refreshing, but I don't know why I hate, maybe it's 'cause
• 26:18
  this thing terrified me as a child.
• 26:20
  Maybe that's why I don't like it.
• 26:23
  Ryan: nothing really beats the original poster with the, the apartment
• 26:27
  building, with the lightning in the background, with his eye staring down.
• 26:31
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 26:31
  Ryan: But no space.
• 26:32
  Kearns: No space,
• 26:34
  Jon: Yeah.
• 26:34
  No
• 26:35
  Kearns: unless you
• 26:35
  Jon: space.
• 26:36
  Kearns: that to be where the magic comes from.
• 26:37
  Ryan: No
• 26:38
  Jon: Um, eh,
• 26:41
  Ryan: The purple sticks out.
• 26:43
  Jon: right.
• 26:44
  Kearns: space.
• 26:44
  Jon: did a really nice job with this.
• 26:46
  Kearns: She
• 26:47
  Jon: Next.
• 26:48
  Kearns: pay her one day.
• 26:51
  Jon: Yeah.
• 26:52
  Kearns: Oh
• 26:52
  Jon: Does,
• 26:53
  Kearns: Well, it
• 26:54
  Jon: does Godzilla go to space?
• 26:56
  Ryan: Are you talking about original
• 26:58
  Kearns: This is Isha Rhonda.
• 26:59
  So this is Toho
• 27:00
  Jon: Any run.
• 27:01
  Any run.
• 27:03
  Kearns: it goes to space.
• 27:05
  Absolutely.
• 27:05
  I have the VHS somewhere, or
• 27:07
  Jon: They absolutely did right there.
• 27:10
  Invasion of the Astro Monster was the first time he goes to space.
• 27:14
  I think he goes to space a few more times after that.
• 27:16
  Kearns: yeah, they lure him at one point and he ends up fighting space.
• 27:19
  Godzilla,
• 27:20
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 27:21
  Ryan: you got gado in there.
• 27:22
  Kearns: who's
• 27:23
  Jon: Yep.
• 27:23
  Kearns: to the legendary verse, by the way?
• 27:25
  Space Godzilla will be in the next legendary Godzilla in Kong movie.
• 27:29
  don't know
• 27:30
  Jon: Yep.
• 27:30
  Kearns: about that, but
• 27:31
  Ryan: I gotta catch up.
• 27:32
  I haven't
• 27:33
  Kearns: you don't know.
• 27:34
  Ryan: and got No, what about the
• 27:36
  Jon: No, you know what
• 27:37
  Kearns: can,
• 27:38
  Jon: I liked?
• 27:38
  I liked
• 27:38
  Kearns: letting a
• 27:39
  Jon: the TV show.
• 27:40
  Kearns: junk a bunch.
• 27:40
  You know?
• 27:41
  There's something to it.
• 27:43
  Jon: I, I, I like they're guilty pleasures for me.
• 27:47
  Like I know they're not as good as any of the original Godzillas or any of
• 27:51
  the original King Kong or any of that, but I like them and the series is okay.
• 27:56
  But I mean, if you're gonna have Godzilla series, it needs a lot
• 28:00
  more Godzilla than this series does.
• 28:02
  Kearns: Yeah, Monarch doesn't really, um,
• 28:05
  Jon: Yeah.
• 28:05
  It
• 28:06
  Kearns: deliver on
• 28:06
  Jon: got a, a lot of the Russell family, not a lot of Godzilla.
• 28:12
  Kearns: they're like, they're really hoping that the overabundance of
• 28:15
  Russell will make up for the lack of
• 28:17
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 28:18
  Kearns: but I dunno what their VFX budget is, but it's definitely not
• 28:21
  as big as their Russell budget.
• 28:23
  Jon: No, no.
• 28:24
  They're definitely paying more to the Russells than they are to Godzillas.
• 28:28
  All right.
• 28:28
  I believe this is the last one.
• 28:31
  Kearns: Do,
• 28:31
  Jon: Yes.
• 28:32
  Kearns: do.
• 28:32
  Jon: Does the Amityville Horror get to space?
• 28:37
  Kearns: Dude,
• 28:38
  Ryan: No,
• 28:39
  Kearns: a twist.
• 28:40
  Ryan: that'd be cool.
• 28:41
  But no,
• 28:42
  Kearns: I feel like you're wrong, Ryan.
• 28:44
  'cause John is John.
• 28:47
  How does the Amityville horror get to space?
• 28:49
  Hold on, I have to figure this out.
• 28:50
  Does it have anything to do with the Long Island guy who
• 28:52
  killed all those prostitutes?
• 28:55
  No.
• 28:55
  Jon: It does not have anything to do with the Gilgo Beach killer.
• 28:59
  Kearns: No.
• 29:00
  Are you sure?
• 29:01
  'cause that's usually how haunted houses get to space.
• 29:04
  It's
• 29:04
  Jon: I mean, I'm pretty sure,
• 29:07
  Kearns: Okay.
• 29:07
  Jon: I think he was trying to close that portal.
• 29:10
  Kearns: Well, I drove by this house, I should say, with my
• 29:13
  aunt and uncle when I was little.
• 29:14
  They're like, do you know that scary haunted house?
• 29:16
  No.
• 29:17
  Well, here it is.
• 29:17
  Get outta the car.
• 29:18
  Like, no.
• 29:20
  Jon: I wanna live there.
• 29:21
  Kearns: too.
• 29:22
  I thought they tore it down since, but I'm
• 29:24
  Jon: I think they did.
• 29:24
  I think it might be torn down.
• 29:26
  Kearns: I think it's gone now.
• 29:28
  Ryan: thought you could visit it like an attraction.
• 29:30
  Jon: I don't know.
• 29:31
  Kearns: they ripped it to shreds.
• 29:32
  We gotta find out for the fans.
• 29:34
  I have to go with No, because I can't think of any viable way.
• 29:37
  This movie makes it to space.
• 29:40
  Jon: Well, you guys have underestimated how many movies there are with Amityville.
• 29:45
  Kearns: Oh
• 29:46
  Jon: Amityville in the space
• 29:50
  Kearns: there's no way for God's
• 29:51
  Jon: there
• 29:52
  Kearns: get out.
• 29:53
  Ryan: Oh
• 29:53
  Jon: guys, you guys,
• 29:54
  Kearns: the house.
• 29:55
  A
• 29:56
  Jon: v Vinegar Syndrome, released a movie called Amityville Vibrator or
• 30:02
  Kearns: oh, sweet.
• 30:03
  Jon: this, franchise has been run so far.
• 30:06
  I think there may be 30 Amityville movies.
• 30:11
  Kearns: This is wild.
• 30:12
  That is wild.
• 30:14
  Ryan: how do you do that?
• 30:15
  Kearns: He
• 30:16
  Jon: I, I haven't,
• 30:16
  Kearns: Ryan.
• 30:17
  Jon: I haven't seen that one, but yeah,
• 30:20
  Kearns: I
• 30:20
  Ryan: did the
• 30:21
  Jon: I, I'm,
• 30:21
  Ryan: on the
• 30:22
  Jon: I'm actually thinking when, we get the Patreon up and running,
• 30:25
  one of the things I'm gonna do is.
• 30:27
  Watch and review every Amityville movie.
• 30:33
  Kearns: Okay.
• 30:34
  Ryan: we,
• 30:34
  Jon: Every single one.
• 30:35
  Ryan: on, hold on.
• 30:36
  We
• 30:36
  Jon: Every single one.
• 30:38
  Ryan: We should do
• 30:39
  Jon: Yeah.
• 30:39
  We'll, we'll jump, we can jump off with the original on the main show
• 30:44
  and then every Amityville movie,
• 30:49
  Ryan: Good
• 30:49
  Jon: which will probably take me the rest of my life.
• 30:52
  Dude, the remakes not gonna, you just saw at the cover for Amityville in Space
• 30:59
  Ryan: I think
• 30:59
  Jon: the remake.
• 31:00
  Ryan: better than the
• 31:01
  Jon: is gonna be nothing.
• 31:04
  The remake is gonna be nothing.
• 31:07
  I think the remakes probably better than some of the original sequels.
• 31:12
  Kearns: probably.
• 31:13
  Ryan: that.
• 31:15
  Yeah, I mean modern technology.
• 31:17
  Was it 2005?
• 31:19
  Yeah,
• 31:20
  Jon: Yeah.
• 31:21
  Amityville horror should go on the next version of your, sequels
• 31:25
  that didn't need to exist.
• 31:27
  List Ryan.
• 31:29
  Ryan: I do actually agree with that.
• 31:30
  'cause the first one is a classic
• 31:32
  Jon: Yeah, it, it only needed the first one.
• 31:35
  There's no more story beyond that.
• 31:38
  Critters for.
• 31:39
  Kearns: for TV movie.
• 31:40
  Oh yeah.
• 31:41
  No, not even close.
• 31:42
  there was a made for TV ghost movie.
• 31:44
  where like the ghosts start out and it sounds like an argument with family
• 31:48
  members using bad words and stuff.
• 31:50
  And then like, there's a ghost essay of the husband, girl ghost walks
• 31:54
  down the stairs and has her way with the husband of the household.
• 31:57
  And it, it's a long, it's like a two hour channel 12, think
• 32:02
  it was maybe Discovery Channel.
• 32:03
  It was whack when I didn't have more than 13 channels.
• 32:06
  So it was on one of those and it was a terrifying movie.
• 32:09
  was really good.
• 32:10
  it's based on a real haunting and that's the first instance too, where the ghosts
• 32:14
  follow the family to their next home.
• 32:17
  Like the family is haunted, not the house now.
• 32:20
  that's how it ends.
• 32:22
  Ryan: That which they did for Insidious, which is a good concept.
• 32:27
  I, I'm curious in watching that.
• 32:29
  Kearns: It's good.
• 32:30
  Jon: It's,
• 32:30
  Kearns: old, but it's fun.
• 32:32
  Jon: I recognize the description.
• 32:34
  I can't pull an name out though.
• 32:36
  Kearns: all right, so lemme look up this ghost movie.
• 32:39
  Ryan: Go story.
• 32:41
  One of the best
• 32:42
  Jon: It's not ghost story
• 32:44
  Ryan: No, I know.
• 32:45
  I just want it
• 32:45
  Jon: and it's not the changeling.
• 32:47
  It's,
• 32:48
  Ryan: It's
• 32:49
  Jon: I know, I, I think it's, I think I've seen this like, like.
• 32:55
  Kearns: It says the entity, but I don't Oh, no, it's the Haunted.
• 33:00
  Ryan: the haunted fitting title.
• 33:03
  Kearns: it's the Haunted.
• 33:04
  I believe that's the name of the movie.
• 33:05
  Yep.
• 33:08
  Made for tv.
• 33:09
  We're getting there.
• 33:10
  Robert Kiran Jackson.
• 33:11
  Yep.
• 33:11
  This is it.
• 33:13
  it's got my boy in it from all the Stephen King movies.
• 33:15
  He's the guy who gets assaulted by the, uh, the ghost.
• 33:22
  Ryan: There isn't a stair scene.
• 33:23
  Is there where someone gets
• 33:25
  Kearns: Jeffrey Deun, the, yeah, she comes
• 33:28
  Jon: Ah, good old Jeffrey.
• 33:31
  Kearns: Yeah, he's.
• 33:33
  Ryan: but does someone get dragged down the stairs though,
• 33:35
  is the question by a ghost?
• 33:37
  Kearns: I think when things are ramping up and the poultrygeist
• 33:39
  activity really is crazy.
• 33:40
  Unlike in Critters four when things ramp up.
• 33:42
  Uh, never
• 33:44
  Jon: Never.
• 33:45
  Never.
• 33:45
  Ryan: No.
• 33:47
  Jon: I mean, on top of like changing the lore of Ugg.
• 33:52
  Charlie's been in that pod for 53 years.
• 33:56
  Ryan: Yep.
• 33:58
  Jon: You don't, you don't, you don't give, you don't give Charlie a kid to bond with.
• 34:09
  Kearns: as you do with all recovering alcoholics from the neighborhood.
• 34:12
  Yeah.
• 34:13
  Jon: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 34:15
  He's just a lone Charlie who like, look, the crew of this ship
• 34:21
  thinks it's a lunatic for a while.
• 34:25
  Which is, I mean,
• 34:26
  Kearns: fair.
• 34:27
  Jon: correct thought, but not when he is talking about critters, that's probably
• 34:31
  the one thing he's not a lunatic about.
• 34:35
  Kearns: Mm-hmm.
• 34:36
  Ryan: No.
• 34:37
  No.
• 34:38
  Kearns: The mental,
• 34:40
  Ryan: I was gonna say they just don't believe him.
• 34:41
  Even when they, he takes his ID out, they still question him until
• 34:46
  like everything hits the fan.
• 34:48
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 34:49
  Ryan: And it's still like, there's still tension, but like you got characters,
• 34:53
  like Fran believes some kinda, Albert believes him, and then you got Bernie
• 34:57
  who's just trying to get pharmaceuticals
• 34:59
  Kearns: huh?
• 34:59
  Ryan: like that.
• 35:00
  That's all he
• 35:00
  Kearns: Everybody's got that friend.
• 35:03
  Jon: Yeah.
• 35:03
  Yeah.
• 35:04
  Kearns: Hey, uh, your parents' bathroom open.
• 35:06
  I like to go in there.
• 35:09
  Why?
• 35:09
  Jon: if, you don't have that friend, it's very likely that
• 35:13
  you are that friend for somebody.
• 35:15
  Kearns: Indeed.
• 35:16
  Indeed.
• 35:19
  So, uh, yeah, I mean, there's not much, we can't even go through the beats of
• 35:23
  this movie because it's about, pacing is like going to the dentist from
• 35:27
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 35:28
  Kearns: to the car.
• 35:28
  That's like what it feels like.
• 35:29
  It's like, here's a point and here's a signpost and here's a signpost.
• 35:33
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 35:33
  Kearns: Um, incredibly undramatic.
• 35:36
  Jon: You don't get critters for more than a half an hour.
• 35:39
  Then when you do get critters, it's only two of them for like another half an hour,
• 35:45
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 35:45
  You
• 35:45
  Jon: and then there's.
• 35:46
  Kearns: critter.
• 35:47
  Jon: Yeah.
• 35:48
  And there it's a really, you're about an hour in before you see a full critter.
• 35:53
  I mean, even Rick gets taken out by a baby critter.
• 35:57
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 35:58
  Ryan: Yeah,
• 35:59
  Jon: And then, the critters have figured out how to like rapidly age themselves.
• 36:04
  So you know, there's the one scene where, the one adult critter is trying
• 36:08
  to age them all into other adults.
• 36:11
  But that lasts like under two minutes.
• 36:14
  And then there's one critter again, and then there's counselor
• 36:18
  Tetra Ugg being Darth Vader.
• 36:22
  Kearns: It just sucks.
• 36:23
  This movie just sucks.
• 36:24
  We can't really gloss over it.
• 36:26
  Guys.
• 36:26
  Ryan: it was just disappointing because it's just disappointing.
• 36:30
  Jon: every,
• 36:30
  Ryan: like Ugg.
• 36:32
  Kearns: yeah, that was dumb.
• 36:34
  Ryan: Yeah.
• 36:34
  Like
• 36:35
  Kearns: There's not even much to talk about.
• 36:37
  You know what I mean?
• 36:39
  Jon: yeah, it's, it's like.
• 36:41
  It's like the opposite Fanm.
• 36:44
  Right.
• 36:44
  You know, like
• 36:45
  Kearns: Too much to talk about with
• 36:46
  Jon: fan Fantasm five held onto what was good about the first four
• 36:52
  Critters four is whatever it's almost like we have to fulfill this
• 36:56
  contract for a fourth critters movie.
• 37:00
  Here's what we got.
• 37:03
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 37:03
  And then there's, then they kept going too.
• 37:05
  I mean, anyway, they
• 37:07
  Jon: I mean,
• 37:07
  Kearns: fun for what the movie is, and they did
• 37:10
  Jon: it, it was gone for a solid 20 years before they, they released that sci-fi one
• 37:16
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 37:17
  What is a critters attack?
• 37:19
  Jon: something critter.
• 37:20
  Kearns: on this.
• 37:21
  Ryan: No.
• 37:21
  Jon: No, no.
• 37:22
  We're done.
• 37:23
  We are done.
• 37:23
  We are done with critters after tonight.
• 37:26
  Ryan: Yep.
• 37:27
  Jon: Um.
• 37:28
  Kearns: do a play by play of the TV or the web series.
• 37:32
  Jon: No, no, no, no.
• 37:34
  We're not going to, we're not going to do that.
• 37:37
  We're not going to, yeah, we're not going to explore the, the full, the
• 37:44
  full critters experience anymore.
• 37:46
  This is enough critters, I think.
• 37:48
  Kearns: Well, we're getting a kind of a preview of what we think the movie
• 37:52
  should be rated, but maybe we should look into what other people have rated
• 37:55
  Jon: No,
• 37:56
  Kearns: for.
• 37:57
  Jon: this is, these are some rough ones.
• 38:01
  Kearns: I mean, I as expected,
• 38:03
  Jon: So first off, we have no critics score on Rotten Tomatoes because there's
• 38:08
  only three critics reviews on there.
• 38:12
  None of them are particularly good.
• 38:14
  Um, and we are down to an 18% audience score.
• 38:20
  So you can imagine how hard it was to fi
• 38:22
  Kearns: ever
• 38:22
  Jon: find some five stars, but I did find a five star.
• 38:27
  I thought I was gonna, I thought I was gonna have to compromise and
• 38:31
  like use a four or even a three.
• 38:33
  'cause there weren't a lot of fours either.
• 38:36
  Five stars, great film.
• 38:39
  I love the Critters.
• 38:42
  The end, that's his whole five star review.
• 38:45
  Kearns: That guy
• 38:46
  Jon: We
• 38:46
  Kearns: was on life support, just waited for
• 38:48
  Jon: mm-hmm.
• 38:49
  Mm.
• 38:49
  Kearns: to get out.
• 38:50
  Didn't have much
• 38:50
  Jon: Yep, yep, yep.
• 38:53
  Ryan: a fan.
• 38:55
  Jon: I didn't even bother with any one star reviews for Critters Four
• 38:59
  Kearns: one.
• 38:59
  The,
• 39:00
  Jon: because the half stars were prevalent and yeah, that the half
• 39:05
  stars were funnier and more prevalent.
• 39:08
  So Half Star, even the added element of space wasn't enough to make this
• 39:14
  franchise any more entertaining.
• 39:16
  I'm glad this series ended here and am genuinely surprised
• 39:21
  it even made it this far.
• 39:22
  TBH.
• 39:24
  It just never progressed and needed to stop being so immature.
• 39:28
  I fully disagree.
• 39:29
  I think it needed to sink into more immaturity, probably my least
• 39:33
  favorite of the Critters series.
• 39:36
  I mean, that's like easily,
• 39:39
  Kearns: easily
• 39:39
  Jon: easily.
• 39:40
  Kearns: look like an absolute masterpiece.
• 39:43
  Sound disappointing.
• 39:44
  I mean, it's more disappointing 'cause you can see where they
• 39:47
  could have made it more fun.
• 39:48
  You could have had a bit of a Bubba Hotep vibe or Jason X
• 39:51
  Jon: Yeah,
• 39:51
  Kearns: of vibe
• 39:52
  Jon: yeah,
• 39:52
  Kearns: of the campiness they have in that.
• 39:54
  Jon: yeah.
• 39:55
  Like they seem to have decided we're gonna take Critters four more seriously than
• 40:00
  one through three and it doesn't work.
• 40:02
  Ryan: It's a
• 40:03
  Jon: nothing, there's nothing about this movie that should have been serious.
• 40:08
  Kearns: Yeah, agreed.
• 40:10
  Ryan: And they try to
• 40:11
  Kearns: I
• 40:11
  Ryan: and it, it doesn't even work.
• 40:13
  Even when like the critters are like behind the controls doing things like
• 40:17
  Jon: Yeah, we, I mean, they're not, no, no, there's nothing.
• 40:21
  I do have one last half star review, though.
• 40:24
  Kearns: Oh good.
• 40:25
  Jon: Half star, and this guy starts off the way.
• 40:27
  I love bad reviews to start off.
• 40:30
  If I could give it zero stars, I would.
• 40:34
  This movie is soul sucking ly bad.
• 40:37
  And to make it even worse, it was boring.
• 40:41
  Might be my least favorite movie of all time.
• 40:46
  Kearns: Wow.
• 40:48
  Ryan: Okay.
• 40:48
  Kearns: I mean, is it my least favorite movie of all time?
• 40:52
  No.
• 40:53
  I saw Sucker Punch in theaters.
• 40:55
  That was pretty tough.
• 40:57
  Jon: Yeah, I
• 40:58
  Kearns: pretty
• 40:58
  Jon: saw Norbit
• 41:00
  Kearns: Oh,
• 41:00
  Ryan: No,
• 41:01
  Kearns: think you win.
• 41:03
  Ryan: nor it's
• 41:03
  Kearns: you win Flubber, but I didn't see it in theaters.
• 41:06
  Ryan: I like flubber.
• 41:07
  Kearns: Uh, you would,
• 41:09
  Ryan: Williams.
• 41:10
  Kearns: you, I mean, he's the
• 41:12
  Jon: here.
• 41:12
  Kearns: but.
• 41:13
  Jon: Here's where I'll get accused of rage baiting.
• 41:16
  Ryan: What?
• 41:16
  Jon: I don't like Robin Williams.
• 41:19
  Ryan: Why?
• 41:20
  Why
• 41:21
  Jon: doesn't, he doesn't, he doesn't do anything for me.
• 41:25
  I like his, his early, his early standup I liked because it's
• 41:30
  dirty and then he just becomes
• 41:33
  Kearns: Oh, his standup stays pretty.
• 41:34
  I saw him at Mohegan Sun, uh, about
• 41:36
  Jon: mm-hmm.
• 41:37
  Kearns: he died.
• 41:38
  And he was pretty filthy there.
• 41:40
  He was saying some stuff.
• 41:41
  Yeah, it was
• 41:41
  Jon: Like as a standup, I like him some as a, as an actor,
• 41:47
  Ryan: Mrs.
• 41:48
  Jon: like every,
• 41:48
  Kearns: You know what, you
• 41:49
  Jon: I do not like Mrs. Doubtfire at all.
• 41:51
  Kearns: morning,
• 41:52
  Jon: morning, Vietnam,
• 41:53
  Kearns: like
• 41:53
  Jon: that good morning, Vietnam, dead Poet Society are about
• 41:57
  as good as I find him to be.
• 41:59
  But even those kind of miss me,
• 42:02
  Kearns: Oh my God.
• 42:02
  Dead
• 42:03
  Jon: like I,
• 42:03
  Kearns: like one of my favorite movies.
• 42:05
  Jon: I, I just don't do that zany energy.
• 42:08
  Like it just doesn't work for me,
• 42:11
  Kearns: Okay.
• 42:12
  Ryan: Death to Smooch
• 42:13
  Kearns: I
• 42:14
  Jon: me to death.
• 42:14
  Smooch, I, I wanted to punch him for death.
• 42:18
  Smooch, I.
• 42:19
  Kearns: Oh my God.
• 42:21
  Ryan: you feel about one hour photo then.
• 42:22
  That's
• 42:23
  Kearns: I mean, when he
• 42:24
  Jon: That too.
• 42:24
  Kearns: and horror,
• 42:25
  Ryan: didn't like
• 42:26
  Kearns: one hour photo was kind of tough for me as well.
• 42:28
  I thought it was gonna be better.
• 42:30
  Yeah,
• 42:30
  Jon: You know?
• 42:31
  You know what I like, I liked that he did was, um, the American version of Insomnia.
• 42:35
  I thought that was pretty good.
• 42:36
  Kearns: Insomnia.
• 42:37
  But I thought that was gonna be based off of Stephen King's, uh, novel.
• 42:41
  And I watched the movie and I was like, what is this crap?
• 42:43
  I mean, pacino's really good, but what is this crap?
• 42:46
  Jon: You see the original,
• 42:48
  Kearns: No,
• 42:48
  Ryan: No.
• 42:48
  Kearns: never.
• 42:49
  Maybe we should put it on the pod.
• 42:51
  Jon: it's not horror.
• 42:52
  It's, no, it's no more horror than Silence of the Lambs.
• 42:56
  Kearns: Sleep deprivation horror.
• 42:57
  It's the, it's the horrors horror of
• 42:59
  Jon: Like it.
• 43:01
  Yeah.
• 43:01
  Oh yeah.
• 43:02
  But it's so good.
• 43:04
  It's, but I don't think we can even, like remotely call it a horror movie,
• 43:10
  Kearns: Hmm.
• 43:10
  Fair
• 43:11
  Jon: but it's very, very good.
• 43:12
  I highly recommend it.
• 43:13
  Criteria.
• 43:14
  There's a criteria in addition to.
• 43:17
  Ryan: Ooh,
• 43:17
  Kearns: Okay.
• 43:19
  All right.
• 43:19
  Is it time for us to rate critters for guys
• 43:21
  Jon: I think it's time for us to rate critters for
• 43:25
  Ryan: Uh.
• 43:26
  Jon: who wants to go first.
• 43:27
  Kearns: Ryan.
• 43:28
  Ryan: I'll go first.
• 43:29
  I'm gonna give this film a two star out of five, and it's because I'm being generous.
• 43:37
  'cause it's, it's watchable like I've enjoyed the buildup since the first film.
• 43:41
  It, it's great the first time.
• 43:43
  It's good.
• 43:44
  The second, like I went from what, four stars
• 43:47
  Kearns: want Ryan on your jury.
• 43:49
  Guys.
• 43:49
  If you break the law and you have the opportunity to rack a jury with
• 43:52
  this guy, you need him on your jury.
• 43:54
  That's
• 43:54
  Jon: Yeah.
• 43:55
  Kearns: of getting away with it.
• 43:56
  Jon: You are never getting outta jury duty, sir.
• 43:59
  Ryan: 12.
• 44:00
  12 Angry Men.
• 44:01
  Thank
• 44:01
  Kearns: I mean, you'd be no, 11
• 44:04
  Jon: You're a buddy.
• 44:05
  Kearns: and one
• 44:05
  Jon: Yeah.
• 44:06
  11 Angry men and Ryan.
• 44:11
  Ryan: Listen, it's a watchable film.
• 44:13
  It's a good buildup.
• 44:14
  But does it hold up?
• 44:15
  No, but I've seen worse
• 44:17
  Kearns: Oh,
• 44:18
  Ryan: Fright Night two.
• 44:20
  The remake of Friday Night two is worse than this in my opinion.
• 44:25
  Jon: Uh, maybe slightly.
• 44:28
  Ryan: Like is at
• 44:29
  Kearns: pretty bad.
• 44:30
  Ryan: It's, it's watchable.
• 44:31
  'cause you have Angela Bassett, you have a body double butt.
• 44:34
  And Brad Dur
• 44:36
  Kearns: So is the, oh, are we,
• 44:41
  uh, um, no, I was like trying to figure out if we were on the, if we were on the
• 44:47
  actual body double or not, but then I got, I got distracted by something important.
• 44:52
  So back to it.
• 44:54
  Back to it.
• 44:55
  Um, I'm gonna give it a 1.5.
• 44:59
  1.5. What does that make it?
• 45:01
  A three outta 10?
• 45:01
  Yeah, that's about right.
• 45:02
  This is
• 45:03
  Jon: Yeah.
• 45:04
  Kearns: it.
• 45:04
  I don't want it to get confused with b movies that are amazing to watch on a
• 45:08
  couch with three buddies and have the time of your life bring some extracurricular
• 45:13
  activity things and have a great time.
• 45:15
  That's lovely.
• 45:16
  This isn't one of those movies.
• 45:18
  It's tough to enjoy this movie.
• 45:20
  Jon: This is a rough one.
• 45:22
  This is a rough one.
• 45:23
  Um, I'm gonna split the difference.
• 45:25
  I'm gonna sit at a 1.75.
• 45:28
  I, I think, I think with the right substances, the right
• 45:32
  buddies, there are ways.
• 45:36
  Kearns: by
• 45:36
  Jon: Yes.
• 45:37
  Nachos,
• 45:39
  Ryan: taco Bell.
• 45:40
  Jon: Twizzlerss, taco Bell.
• 45:42
  Kearns: Whatever need whatever you need to
• 45:44
  Jon: Yeah.
• 45:44
  Whatever.
• 45:44
  Whatever you need to get through it.
• 45:46
  I think you can have some fun if you're like a sci-fi person counting all the
• 45:51
  sci-fi things, they ripped off because like, there's way more than I'm aware.
• 45:56
  I didn't even think of it until the trash compactor scene
• 45:59
  where I was like, holy cow.
• 46:01
  They're just putting scenes directly from other movies into this.
• 46:05
  I think otherwise I don't see why you would even ever really need to watch this.
• 46:09
  This is, I would consider this to be one of those movies that
• 46:14
  we watched, so you don't have to,
• 46:17
  Ryan: Yeah,
• 46:18
  Jon: we sacrificed for you people.
• 46:22
  Ryan: preach.
• 46:24
  Jon: Um, and I, I mean, I'm almost never this negative about a movie, but Yeah.
• 46:29
  Critters four kind of deserves it.
• 46:31
  Ryan: We've been, negative before.
• 46:33
  Kearns: not, but not for like a beloved franchise.
• 46:36
  I
• 46:36
  Jon: Yeah,
• 46:37
  Kearns: one lets you down, man.
• 46:39
  Jon: They, it's, it's,
• 46:41
  Kearns: up to your baseball game.
• 46:42
  Jon: yeah.
• 46:45
  The dad, I mean, or is it the dad?
• 46:48
  The dad that, the dad that showed up to your baseball game, but he was so
• 46:53
  bummed, he went out onto the field and got in a fist fight with the umpire.
• 46:56
  Uh.
• 46:57
  Kearns: pants.
• 46:57
  Yeah.
• 46:58
  Jon: Yeah, but he did just strip down his underwear and ran out onto the field and
• 47:03
  fought with the umpire for the wrong team
• 47:08
  Kearns: For the wrong team.
• 47:11
  Jon: showed up and he doesn't even know which team you're on, and he's booing you
• 47:15
  and cheering the other team, and then he,
• 47:17
  Kearns: of detail to John's example.
• 47:19
  John, we're gonna have to talk after the recording.
• 47:21
  All right?
• 47:22
  Jon: we might need a therapy session afterwards.
• 47:25
  Kearns: I think it's gonna be okay.
• 47:27
  It's gonna be okay.
• 47:27
  I'm gonna come to all your little league games from now,
• 47:29
  Ryan: Yeah.
• 47:30
  Jon: Thank you.
• 47:31
  Kearns: all right.
• 47:32
  uh, that wraps up this po.
• 47:34
  I mean, it's not even a polished turd, it's just a turd.
• 47:36
  Uh, is there
• 47:37
  Jon: Yeah.
• 47:37
  This is a turd.
• 47:38
  Kearns: fives?
• 47:39
  Ryan: this a Yeah, it is.
• 47:40
  It is a watchable.
• 47:41
  Turd.
• 47:43
  Kearns: Aren't they all
• 47:44
  Ryan: Yeah.
• 47:45
  Whoa, whoa,
• 47:45
  Jon: I mean, we, we, we, we all look at our turds when we're done with them.
• 47:50
  Ryan: oh
• 47:51
  Kearns: All right.
• 47:51
  We should get into our top fives.
• 47:55
  Jon: I'll say.
• 47:56
  Kearns: the final cut?
• 47:57
  Jon: I will, I will.
• 47:58
  I will say this.
• 48:00
  We watched Critters four, but we have a nice run of movies coming up.
• 48:06
  I think people are really gonna enjoy and we're really gonna enjoy
• 48:10
  talking about starting with Good Boy and then the stuff and Death of a
• 48:17
  Unicorn and Basket case, like we're getting to some fun stuff Now we ate
• 48:22
  Ryan: Yeah.
• 48:22
  We are.
• 48:23
  Jon: four, so we can get to the good stuff.
• 48:26
  Kearns: Good deal.
• 48:27
  Ryan: we got some classics.
• 48:28
  I mean, I'm looking forward to our Halloween episode.
• 48:31
  The thing, the thing is definite, but we're getting into top fives
• 48:35
  and we're talking about turds.
• 48:37
  And these are my top five sequels that don't hold up, but they're fun to watch.
• 48:43
  Or we're gonna start off with number five.
• 48:45
  We just talked about the sixth and seventh of this franchise and that
• 48:49
  Scream three, came out in 2000 Story follows, Sidney Prescott, who has
• 48:54
  gone into self-imposed isolation following the events of the previous
• 48:57
  two films, but is drawn to Hollywood after a new ghost face begins killing
• 49:01
  the cast of the film within a film.
• 49:07
  Jon: I love that in the moment that Kerns and I are trashing scream, we can
• 49:12
  get you to trash it right along with us, but we can't get it out of you.
• 49:18
  Ryan: I, I love scream.
• 49:21
  I love
• 49:22
  Jon: You'll, you'll trash it.
• 49:23
  You'll find all the things that we're trashing and agree with us,
• 49:27
  but it's like as soon as you're out of our sight, it's like scream.
• 49:32
  Kearns: He's, it's like a heroin addict.
• 49:35
  Jon: Yeah.
• 49:36
  Kearns: can't leave him alone with the kit, man.
• 49:37
  Ryan: This has Jane.
• 49:38
  Silent Bob.
• 49:39
  I mean like it's a, the half brother twist.
• 49:43
  This is, this is a winner, which leads to number four.
• 49:46
  It was actually mentioned in your or no space game, and that
• 49:51
  is Hellraiser four Bloodline.
• 49:56
  It's subpar to the first two.
• 49:58
  Definitely subpar to three, but the idea of it being a prequel and a sequel
• 50:02
  and going to show how like the box was mean and just to the future where it's
• 50:07
  in space and the twin centa bytes.
• 50:09
  I mean, you get some cool Centa bytes out of it.
• 50:11
  And Doug Bradley's performance is excellent as always, which goes to number
• 50:16
  Jon: Hold on.
• 50:16
  Can I say one thing hell raise four is kind of like that moment in a, Looney
• 50:21
  Tune's cartoon where Wally Coyote is chasing the roadrunner and he like
• 50:27
  runs off a cliff and he hangs in the air for a second before he falls.
• 50:33
  Hellraiser four is the hanging in the air for a second before it plummets.
• 50:40
  Ryan: Oh,
• 50:40
  Jon: It's like, uh, this isn't really that good.
• 50:44
  And you can see it's about to get really bad if they keep making them.
• 50:49
  Ryan: yeah, I mean, it has a good story.
• 50:51
  It's a good plot idea, but they don't it correctly, which is like my number three
• 50:57
  pick Freddy's dead, the final nightmare.
• 51:00
  You got some fun moments.
• 51:02
  You got Johnny Depp's appearance, you get the little game scene.
• 51:05
  I'm not a fan of the whole idea of him having a daughter,
• 51:09
  like, so during his time of.
• 51:12
  what he was doing.
• 51:13
  He had a family.
• 51:14
  We didn't, we didn't know about this for five films,
• 51:20
  Jon: Yeah,
• 51:20
  Ryan: know,
• 51:21
  Jon: you would think in, a town where everybody knows
• 51:24
  that story, they would know.
• 51:26
  Ryan: Yeah.
• 51:26
  And like, it's just like, I mean, you get a nice, like what Alice
• 51:31
  Cooper's in it, Roseanne, Tom Marle.
• 51:34
  You get like these like pretty funky cameos, but you know, at that
• 51:39
  time, funk cameos, she is not fun.
• 51:42
  I'm putting it out there.
• 51:44
  I dunno about Tom Marle, Alice Cooper Rocks, but at least my number
• 51:47
  two, Halloween five, the Revenge of Michael Myers, it has currents,
• 51:52
  his favorite scene where, Danielle Harris' trapped in the chute.
• 51:55
  Yep.
• 51:56
  And the stabbings begin.
• 51:58
  It's, they had a great ending to the fourth one, which could have
• 52:03
  continued with her being like the new monster, the new shape, and.
• 52:08
  He survived.
• 52:09
  He fell through a hole in the ground was found by a hermit
• 52:13
  with an elongated mask and has a telepathic connection with his niece.
• 52:18
  And I mean, you can't beat the fourth one with the disappearance
• 52:23
  of, uh, oh, what's his name?
• 52:25
  Uh, Ted Hollister.
• 52:27
  Kearns: Ludicrous.
• 52:29
  Jon: Yeah.
• 52:30
  Earl, it's Ted Hollister.
• 52:33
  Ryan: You know, you can't beat that man.
• 52:35
  And that leads to my number one.
• 52:38
  We mentioned Jason X, but this ain't Jason X. This is Friday,
• 52:41
  the 13 part seven, the new blood.
• 52:43
  I don't, I'm not like a big fan of the film, but it is fun.
• 52:47
  You got Jason versus Carrie.
• 52:50
  put in chains or he gets lifted up by chains because she goes crazy.
• 52:54
  You got some innovative deaths.
• 52:56
  Innovative deaths.
• 52:57
  Innovative.
• 52:58
  Innovative, just the fun around.
• 53:00
  And
• 53:01
  Kearns: Said it like a, a Brit, that that counts Innovative, innovative aluminum.
• 53:06
  Ryan: aluminum.
• 53:08
  I was trying to think of a Harry Potter spell, but it's also the
• 53:11
  first appearance of Kain Hotter two.
• 53:14
  This is Kain Hatter's first appearance, so that's another big thing.
• 53:17
  But that's my top five.
• 53:19
  Jon: I like it.
• 53:20
  Ryan: what's, what's your top five?
• 53:22
  Jon: I like it so
• 53:24
  Ryan: It's
• 53:24
  Jon: as like it.
• 53:27
  Like it as, as I mentioned, critters for is directed by Rupert Harvey, and
• 53:33
  this is the only movie he ever directed.
• 53:36
  And I went that way.
• 53:38
  Horror movies directed by someone who only directed one movie.
• 53:42
  And there's one cheat on here because that didn't know it existed and it really
• 53:47
  didn't exist up until very, very recently.
• 53:50
  And I'll explain when I get there.
• 53:52
  My number five is a movie called Blood Beat.
• 53:57
  I, this is all I, I'm, let me before I even talk about Blood Beat Ad, this
• 54:02
  is gonna be as the obscure list of movies as I've put out in a long time.
• 54:08
  Uh, so In Blood Beat, a woman and her boyfriend had to his family
• 54:12
  home to celebrate Christmas.
• 54:14
  The festivities are cut short by the arrival of the ghost of
• 54:18
  a Japanese Samurai in Wisconsin.
• 54:25
  And this is directed by Fabrice Andjay.
• 54:28
  Rados.
• 54:32
  The only thing he ever got
• 54:36
  Kearns: Greek.
• 54:37
  Jon: in Wisconsin.
• 54:39
  Ryan: Is it
• 54:40
  Jon: In Wisconsin, it's,
• 54:43
  Kearns: cheese.
• 54:44
  Jon: it's not specified really.
• 54:45
  It's just like some country farmhousey thing.
• 54:49
  number four is a movie I've loved since the first moment I, saw it as bad as
• 54:54
  it is, directed by Charles McCray.
• 54:58
  It's a movie called Toxic Zombies, which by, uh, in some places
• 55:03
  is also called Blood Eater.
• 55:04
  so plane sprays a toxic chemical on fields of marijuana, turning the
• 55:08
  growers into mindless killing machines.
• 55:12
  It's ultra low budget, even with a, Blu-ray remaster.
• 55:17
  It still looks bad.
• 55:18
  It still looks like you're watching somebody's old VHS tape.
• 55:22
  but really the highlight is you get a Romero regular in there.
• 55:25
  John Amply, who is in six or seven Romero movies in, you know, fairly
• 55:31
  small roles, but still he's on Martinez and Dawn of the Dead.
• 55:36
  He's like, like he's, you'll know him.
• 55:39
  You know him when you see him, but he's not like a big name.
• 55:43
  so my number three is the one that technically the director directed another
• 55:48
  movie that came out really recently, which is really just a sequel to this
• 55:55
  movie, the Movie's Slaughterhouse.
• 55:57
  Uh, it's directed by Rick Rosler, who.
• 56:01
  very recently, this movie came out in the eighties in 2025.
• 56:05
  Kearns: Ross.
• 56:06
  Not to bring that up
• 56:08
  Jon: Uhhuh.
• 56:09
  Kearns: to
• 56:10
  Jon: I, I'm not,
• 56:11
  Kearns: would've gone hard.
• 56:13
  Jon: yeah.
• 56:13
  Yeah.
• 56:14
  So he recently directed a sequel to this that's streaming on YouTube
• 56:18
  that I plan to watch this weekend.
• 56:20
  I'm sure it's gonna be awful because slaughterhouse is like, bad good.
• 56:25
  the owner of a foreclosed slaughterhouse ordered his son to
• 56:29
  get rid of those who are trying to take the property away from him.
• 56:33
  Unfortunately, a group of teens looking to party also become targets for the madman
• 56:40
  and like it's, I actually saw this on the big screen that they showed this at
• 56:45
  a film festival I went to, and it's, it's so bad, but it's a lot of fun to watch.
• 56:51
  I can highly recommend Slaughterhouse to people who like bad movies.
• 56:56
  Ryan: It's always better to watch the bad movie though, on like the
• 56:58
  big screen, like especially with a good group of friends, like
• 57:03
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 57:03
  Ryan: you just have more fun with it.
• 57:04
  It's like going to see the Green Hornet.
• 57:06
  Kearns: you don't
• 57:06
  Jon: Yep.
• 57:07
  Kearns: you can watch 'em with us soon enough.
• 57:09
  Soon
• 57:11
  Jon: yep.
• 57:12
  So, number two, one of my favorite titles of a movie, it's directed by,
• 57:18
  Dean Shedder, but it, the actual credit on the film is Alan Smithy, which should
• 57:25
  tell you how off the rails this wound up.
• 57:27
  and it's a movie called Bloodsucking Pharaohs in Pittsburgh, which was
• 57:34
  definitely a r she up all night movie.
• 57:37
  in the midst of a series of murders, the murders of sex workers.
• 57:41
  Two cops have few leads except a man wearing a fez with a strange
• 57:46
  connection to a Vegas mobster.
• 57:49
  It's, it's bonkers.
• 57:50
  It's funny.
• 57:51
  It's ridiculous.
• 57:52
  It's stupid.
• 57:54
  It's Bloodsucking.
• 57:55
  Pharaohs in Pittsburgh.
• 57:56
  What?
• 57:56
  I mean, like, what else would you expect from a movie with that title?
• 57:59
  my number one is from a director You are all gonna know, but he only directed
• 58:05
  one movie and it's the drug fueled nightmare of Stephen King's single
• 58:13
  director Credit Maximum Overdrive.
• 58:17
  Kearns: Ooh, maximum
• 58:20
  Jon: Oh.
• 58:20
  Kearns: overdrive.
• 58:21
  Ryan: I love
• 58:22
  Jon: The, I love it too.
• 58:25
  I love that movie.
• 58:26
  I mean, it's a mess.
• 58:28
  It's a train wreck.
• 58:30
  If you read the stories you under, you'll, you come to understand
• 58:34
  why this is Stephen King.
• 58:35
  It is his wild, most wild man era probably.
• 58:40
  so you probably know, but the machines of o of Earth have come
• 58:45
  to life with the desire to kill.
• 58:47
  After the planet passes through the tail of a comet.
• 58:50
  You get Emilio Esteve, you get B-movie legend, pat Henle,
• 58:54
  and you get Lisa Simpson Yard.
• 58:57
  Lisa Smith.
• 58:58
  Ryan: Yes, you do.
• 59:00
  Jon: maximum overdrive I saw probably within months of it first being
• 59:04
  released and I've watched it maybe.
• 59:06
  A dozen times since, and I love it.
• 59:08
  Every time I watch it.
• 59:10
  It's the true, it's what Critters four should have been like.
• 59:13
  That true.
• 59:14
  Get a group of buddies together and just laugh about a stupid movie.
• 59:18
  Ryan: Yep.
• 59:19
  Jon: It's it, it's the bar Critters four should have shot for.
• 59:23
  Ryan: Remember it used to be on repeat on sci-fi.
• 59:26
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 59:27
  It was on a lot,
• 59:31
  a lot,
• 59:33
  Ryan: Yeah, it
• 59:34
  Jon: but
• 59:34
  Ryan: but it it's a fun movie.
• 59:37
  the whole thing.
• 59:37
  It's fun.
• 59:39
  Jon: yeah.
• 59:40
  Yeah.
• 59:40
  It's not good, but it's fun.
• 59:43
  And it's fun with a group.
• 59:45
  Ryan: It's a three out of
• 59:46
  Jon: And that's my, that's my top five.
• 59:49
  I might go, I'm gonna go as high as 3 7 5 for maximum overdrive.
• 59:52
  I legitimately love that movie.
• 59:55
  Movie.
• 59:55
  I legitimately love that movie.
• 59:58
  Ryan: Let I, let's throw that on the list.
• 1:00:01
  Kearns: We will talk about it.
• 1:00:02
  We'll talk about it, but for now, we're done later.
• 1:00:06
  Jon: Yes, sir.
• 1:00:06
  Kearns: four.