Latest / The Play Therapy Circle / Episode 5: The Importance of the Therapeutic Relationship

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Episode 5: The Importance of the Therapeutic Relationship · The Play Therapy Circle

0:00
Hi there and welcome to the Play Therapy Circle.
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Before we begin, Please note this podcast is for
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informational and educational purposes only.
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It does not provide therapeutic advice and listening does not
0:14
create a client therapist relationship.
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All views expressed are my own and any case example shared have
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been de identified to protect privacy.
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If you're seeking personal support, please reach out to a
0:27
qualified mental health professional in your area.
0:33
Hi and welcome to an episode of The Play Therapy Circle.
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I'm Kylie Ellison, a therapist, clinical supervisor and play
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therapy trainer and I'm so grateful you're here.
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This podcast is a space for thoughtful, soulful
0:49
conversations about child centred therapy, play based work
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and what it means to show up with presence and compassion
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both for our clients and for ourselves.
1:00
Whether you're a seasoned play therapist, a student just
1:03
starting out, or someone deeply passionate about working with
1:07
children, you belong here. Hey everyone, welcome back to
1:14
the Play Therapy Circle. I'm your host, Kylie Ellison,
1:18
and I am so glad you are here. Welcome back to another episode.
1:23
You guys. This is exciting.
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We are already at episode 5. I feel like this is probably the
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most consistent thing I have committed to in a very long
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time. So guys, I am so proud of
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myself. Just kidding.
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I am hoping that wherever you are coming from in the world
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today that you are having a good week.
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I am recording this on Wednesday night.
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So look at me getting more organised you guys.
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This is growth, this is progress for anyone who knows me, right?
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But I'm very excited to talk about this topic tonight.
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We are talking about the importance of the therapeutic
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relationship and I have a planner for all of the topics
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that we're going to cover definitely for the rest of the
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year. And when I saw this topic come
2:08
up this week, I thought this is great because this really is at
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the foundations of Child Centre Play Therapy and what we do in
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the playroom each and every day. So I am super keen to share all
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of these things with you and I wanted to start off the episode
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by a guest posing the question for reflection for all of you
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listening at home. I guess when you are connecting
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with kids, have you ever noticed and especially obviously in the
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playroom in CCPT, have you ever noticed that some kids really
2:41
connect with us instantly and others take a really long time
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to do that? And have you ever wondered what
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that process is all about? That's what we're going to talk
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about today, you guys, because that's the therapeutic
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relationship and so much of the work we do is on building that
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relationship 1st. And I am very mindful of the
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fact that often beginning play therapist, if you're listening
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and you're starting out in the field, often really worry about
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getting the skills right. And I know that even more
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importantly is the effort we put into connecting and building a
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relationship with the children we work with because ultimately
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in the research leans into this too, That's so important for the
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work that we do in achieving those therapeutic outcomes.
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So what do I want to cover today, you guys?
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I want to cover defining what the therapeutic relationship is
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all about, why it is absolutely the fundamental component of
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child centre play therapy. And I guess what are the ways
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that we can build that connection with the kids that we
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work with and with the clients that we're connecting with.
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So lots of things to cover. And I guess to start the
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conversation off, I think having a definition of what the
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therapeutic relationship is all about is a good starting point.
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So let's talk about it in terms of that therapeutic
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relationship. In child centred play therapy,
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we're really talking about facilitating a relationship
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that's safe, supportive and collaborative in terms of that
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connection bond between the therapist and the child and
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particularly the client in this case, and building on trust,
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respect and mutual understanding.
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That's really tricky and very challenging if we are connecting
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with clients in the playroom who we don't necessarily initially
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connect with. And I don't mean to use too many
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connect words in one sentence, so let me unpack that.
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I think when we have children in the playroom who are presenting
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with issues and themes that can be really tough to hold and to
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navigate, it can then feel like building that connection and
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alliance is really challenging. And so I first of all want to
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normalise that because I think that's something that we as play
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therapists don't necessarily talk a lot about.
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I think there is definitely that consideration of connecting with
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a client in the playroom and building that relationship.
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But we don't often talk about what happens if we don't connect
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with the client. How do we navigate that?
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What does that look like? And I think first and foremost,
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how I've learned to reframe it is to look at our clients being
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our teachers. I've had my incredible
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supervisor share that with me over the time I've connected
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with her, and I think that that is so essential to looking at
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your connection in the playroom, being just as much about the
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child's growth and potential as it is about your growth and
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potential as a play therapist across your career.
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So does that mean that we then get focused on our own skills in
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the playroom? Absolutely not.
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But it is something where we can take those reflections to
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clinical supervision, to group supervision and other formats to
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be able to unpack that, work through it and enhance our
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skills. So we actually see it as an
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incredible opportunity for us to grow and learn when we come into
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the playroom and encounter clients that we don't initially
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connect with. So I really truly want to
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normalise that for anyone listening at home who's really
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struggling at the moment with that space.
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I think that when we think about the relationship as being the
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container in which healing and growth can occur, it then
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changes that perspective on how we navigate that.
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Because if we actually see it as being fundamental and essential
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to us being able to achieve those goals in therapy, we
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change, I guess, our focus. So we obviously need to have
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those skills of child centre play therapy working well in the
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playroom. But there's so many other
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components, I guess, to that context.
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So I want to unpack a few of those now.
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So I think the first one to talk through and just reflect on is
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that idea of developing trust and safety in the playroom.
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We know that that's really important, but when we're
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talking about that, the child really needs to know that they
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are safe physically, emotionally and psychologically in your
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presence. If you think about some of the
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clients that you are working with now and certainly I think
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of, you know, obviously over the last 10 years, all of those
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experiences I've had in the playroom, certainly there are
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children that come to play therapy who haven't felt that
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sense of safety. So it is so important that we
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are considering that element when we are conveying our
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reflections, when we are mindful of both our verbal and our non
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verbal communication. We're going to talk about more
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later in the episode around what those skills we can use to help
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facilitate that positive space or that that space for learning
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and growth for a child. But safety and trust are big
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components of that unconditional positive regard.
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And I wish, I almost feel like I need to do a podcast episode
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just on that topic because I think that that is such a
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complex concept. When we're encountering and
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connecting with and helping the children in our playrooms unpack
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some of the things that they have been through and their
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feelings and their emotions and their expression and what that
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looks like. When we have this tenant of
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unconditional positive regard in the playroom, that can sometimes
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be really challenging. So what we are talking about
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here is accepting the child for exactly as they are without
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judgement or here's the most important part, pressure to
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change. We know when our clients come
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into the playroom that they are the experts.
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We lean into Carl Rogers person centred approach to counselling.
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So we recognise that they know what they need to talk about in
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their time. And so our purpose of our role
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is very much to hold that space with unconditional positive
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regard, super, super important attunement.
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And I think that there's sometimes when we talk about
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attunement, I think often has so much to do with how we are
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travelling as the play therapist in the space.
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So recognising that for us, we come with our own daily
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stresses, worries, things on our mind that are so important that
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we certainly put to the side when we go into a playroom with
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a client because it is their time to share with us what they
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need to in their way. And so we need to be taking care
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of ourselves too outside of the playroom.
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And so things like clinical supervision and personal therapy
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are incredible for helping us to have our emotional needs met
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outside of the playroom because it's so much about connecting
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with the child in the playroom. So I think that when we're
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talking about attunement, the first thing that comes to mind
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for me is making sure that I am present, that I am able to
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notice and interpret and respond to the child's cues both
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verbally and nonverbally. And I can't do that if I'm not
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congruent, accepting with that unconditional positive regard,
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which means I need to be super present in the playroom.
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So really making sure that we're noticing, interpreting and
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responding to all of their cues is absolutely essential.
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We need to have consistency and predictability, right?
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So sessions need to feel stable and reliable consistently over
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time. So I'm always saying to parents
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in that initial parent consult before we start work with a
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client, that the child will take a period of time to feel that
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sense of stability and consistency and predictability
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and routine. That's absolutely essential.
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So making sure that they know that they're coming at Wednesday
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at 1:00 every week to see me in the same playroom each time.
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So we need to be able to foster that experience for children to
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reduce any anxiety that they might be experiencing and coming
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to play therapy, but also to be able to build their confidence,
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not only in the play therapy experience, but in us too,
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because we are sometimes and for many clients, often the most
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consistent person in their life. So can we replicate that
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experience of predictability and consistency in their life?
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How do we do that? And so that's something to
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consider in your own practise. Are you able to provide that for
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the clients that you're working with?
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Boundaries and professionalism is also important in this
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relationship. So making sure we have healthy
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limits, we do that when we set limits in the playroom, but
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making sure that we provide that structure and security for them
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super, super important. I think what's also interesting
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to note when we're talking about the therapeutic relationship, we
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are maintaining as that last point was all about in terms of
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professionalism, those professional boundaries.
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So I want to distinguish that between a therapeutic
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relationship and say a friendship because they're two
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very different things. So I want to give obviously that
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definition to make that make sense.
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So a friendship is mutual and often based on shared interests,
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while a therapeutic relationship is professional 1, directional
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in emotional holding and always centred on the client's needs.
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I feel like that definition is truly at the heart of child
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centred play therapy. So for those of you listening,
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I'm not sure if that resonates for you, that particular
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definition, but it certainly does for me.
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I think that it's important for us to grant ourselves in our
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professional practise around recognising that when we connect
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in the playroom in child centred play therapy, it's one
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directional in emotional holding and it's always centred on the
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client's needs. Super important guys.
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So we know, as I've just alluded to before, that we draw on Carl
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Rogers person centred theory as well and so much around those
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characteristics in the playroom of conveying genuineness,
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empathy and unconditional positive regard.
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So important. We also lean into attachment
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theory when we're talking about this relationship when
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navigating and helping to foster a secure relationship between
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ourself and the client so that we can provide a corrective
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emotional experience. How incredibly powerful is that?
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The honour and the privilege that we have in being able to
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walk into a playroom and hold a space for a child where they can
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have a corrective emotional experience in an attachment with
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another is so special you guys, so special.
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It is such such a privilege to do what we do.
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OK, So what do we know about why it's so essential to play
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therapy? And certainly I mentioned it
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earlier as well, but the evidence in the research points
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to this too. So we know from matter analysis
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that the quality of that therapeutic alliance is one of
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the strongest predictors of therapy outcomes, even more so
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than specific techniques. That's really important to
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remember because I think sometimes we can get really
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bogged down in focusing on what is our technique, what is our
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modality, what is it, the intervention that we're using.
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We may search many different modalities in the hopes that we
15:06
have a full toolkit available to us to be able to deliver
15:10
services in our therapy work. But ultimately, and I think that
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this is a really, really powerful reminder, ultimately
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it's actually about the relationship.
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So if you find yourself feeling very nervous or unsure or
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doubting yourself in terms of your skills and abilities in
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Child Centre Play Therapy, I give you permission to go back
15:36
to the relationship first. Start there because that is
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where ultimately that healing occurs, not in whether we did
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enough tracking to be able to help the child to know that we
15:48
were following along in their lay, but did the child feel held
15:52
and supported in the space? Really super important.
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I always, I kind of joke tongue in cheek guys, and I mean it in
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the nicest way, but I feel like sometimes it's important to
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remind play therapist that when you go into a playroom with a
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client, they are not going to turn around to you and say,
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listen, you really could have done a reflecting of feeling
16:13
statement there. I just felt like you kind of
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missed the mark and maybe you could redo it.
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Like we're not going to have those experiences in the
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playroom. So we have that opportunity.
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Obviously it's super important that we are following the child
16:25
therapy protocol, but at the end of the day, making sure that we
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have that connection relationship with a child is
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actually the most important thing.
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We also know that the neuroscience supports us too,
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because having a safe, connected relationship helps calm the
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child's amygdala, increases that oxytocin release, and supports
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prefrontal cortex engagement. What am I talking about there?
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It helps them to better emotionally regulate and problem
16:56
solve. So not only are we trying to
16:59
support children in the playroom by using our CCPT skills, but by
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providing that safe, trusting, supportive therapeutic alliance,
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we're actually helping them from a neurobiological perspective
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too. So if that's helpful for you
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guys to use in explaining that to parents in their initial
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consult, I think that would be a great idea as well to actually
17:21
explain some of the benefits of what we do.
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So without a trusting relationship, play therapy
17:27
interventions are unlikely to work, guys, because the child's
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nervous system remains in a defensive state or a
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dysregulated state. Something to consider when we're
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talking about instead having a strong relationship, a strong
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therapeutic alliance and connection where children feel
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safe, which helps them then eventually to be able to process
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some of those really difficult emotions and experiences and
17:59
maybe even trauma. So what does this mean if we can
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help? And what I always lean into when
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I am explaining this concept to others, I always like to lean
18:11
into Gary Landreth as certainly definition around that idea of
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what is the intention of us connecting with a child in the
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playroom using CCPT. It is to help replicate A
18:24
socially acceptable relationship.
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I think that that's a really good barometer to be able to
18:31
look at the limits that I'm using helpful to be able to
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really start to connect in that way with a child.
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Are we fostering that relationship for growth and
18:43
healing for a child? And it all goes back to are we
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fostering A socially acceptable relationship?
18:50
So if we are able to do that and help children to understand and
18:55
from the neuroscience be able to establish those pathways in the
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brain where they have had that experience of connection with
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us, that they can then say, I know what that's like to feel
19:06
safe and connected and heard and felt that that relationship
19:13
really was meaningful for me, for my connection with another
19:17
adult, that that might foster that capacity for them to
19:22
connect with others outside of play therapy.
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That's always the goal, that we can transfer those skills
19:29
outside of the playroom. So we absolutely want kids to
19:32
feel that sense of building their resilience, their coping
19:38
skills. But more importantly, I think
19:41
the intention is always there for us to be able to help
19:45
children to feel like they are valued, heard and safe.
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So what does that look like? They internalise that message.
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I am valued, I am heard, I am safe.
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I really like that because imagine for the children that
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you are connecting with now, if that is their experience, if
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nothing else. So I think that when we talk
20:06
about that idea of connection with children, it's often
20:09
discussed how they won't remember what we did, but they
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will remember how we made them feel.
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So important guys, and I give you that.
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Opportunity to reflect on that listening to this podcast today.
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So what are we talking about here in terms of our capacity to
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be able to foster this relationship?
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What does it require of us as play therapists?
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What are some of the things that we need to consider for our
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practise? So I think that probably at its
20:44
most foundational level in child centre play therapy, we talk
20:47
about following the child's lead.
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I think that this can be really tricky in play therapy.
20:53
So again, I just want to normalise it.
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If you're listening right now and going, gosh, that's really
20:58
hard sometimes when I've got expectations from stakeholders,
21:01
I've got goals that the parent or caregiver has set, They're
21:04
paying for my service. I am time limited with my
21:08
intervention. There's so many external noise
21:11
factors, right? They come into our practise when
21:14
we walk into the playroom with a child that is really tricky
21:17
sometimes to navigate and kind of push to the side.
21:21
So I think 10 years down the road, I have definitely gained
21:25
that experience in working with lots and lots of children and
21:29
families over that time that I feel very confident in the
21:33
intervention and the modality that I use.
21:35
But even more so if I think to and reflect on my career over
21:40
the last 10 years so far. I think that one of the things
21:42
that stands out for me is that children know what they need to
21:46
talk about and how long they need.
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And at this point in my career, I feel fairly confident now to
21:54
say that to parents and caregivers and stakeholders.
21:57
If you want long term sustainable change, I need time.
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I'm going to need time. Trust me, trust the process and
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I'll keep you posted along the way because if I follow the
22:10
child's lead, they will always tell me what I need to know.
22:16
And I think that that's a really important reminder for beginning
22:18
play therapist. If you're feeling very anxious
22:20
and nervous right now about your practise and I guess potentially
22:24
feeling stuck in the work that you're doing with the children
22:27
that you're working with, know that every child has their own
22:32
timeline and their own process and they will get there.
22:35
Everything is a season in the playroom.
22:38
So I think that when we let them choose what they need to talk
22:42
about in the way that they need to talk about and resist the
22:45
urge to direct. And I want to be really
22:49
transparent because I am nothing if congruent in my approach.
22:53
You guys, I definitely even in recent times in my practise have
22:59
felt at times that urge to move into more of a open ended
23:05
question space. So not necessarily that I want
23:07
to give direction to the client or tell them what to do, but
23:11
I've certainly felt like maybe, and especially for say those
23:15
older kids that you work with, feeling like maybe I need to be
23:19
doing more. And when I've stopped and
23:22
reflected on what happened in the playroom in that session,
23:26
and we'll get to certainly at some point in these podcast
23:30
topics, themes and stages of play, you guys, because that's
23:33
so important as well that we unpack that.
23:36
But when I step back and I look at those different sequences of
23:39
play and the themes and what the child is communicating through
23:42
the play, I get all the information that I need.
23:45
And I think that that is always a really great reminder because
23:51
I think you can, I think you can feel that pressure of
23:54
expectations of others, expectations of yourself.
23:57
So if you haven't heard this yet, this is my message to you.
24:02
I'm inviting you guys. We're going to do this together,
24:04
you guys. We're going to give ourselves
24:06
permission to park those expectations and be with the
24:10
child because they're the expert.
24:12
They're the expert. You guys be present, not
24:16
performative in your approach in the playroom.
24:20
What I can't convey enough, and I hope that this message is
24:24
coming through in this podcast, is the importance of being
24:29
authentic. What I love about kids, I love
24:34
so many things about working with kids, but one of the things
24:36
that is truly gold about working with children is that they will
24:40
see through if you are not being congruent and authentic, they
24:46
can pick it a mile away, which is fantastic because it keeps us
24:51
humble, it keeps us grounded and it keeps it real, which is
24:56
awesome. So if you ever feel like you're
24:59
trying to deliver the skills and deliver the approach without
25:02
being authentic, kids will see through it.
25:05
So it's really, really important that we remember that when we
25:07
walk into the playroom each time.
25:10
We really need to be observing before we engage in the
25:15
playroom. So much of the work we do is in
25:19
that non verbal communication, taking in the body language,
25:23
taking in tone, all of those things, facial expressions, all
25:28
of those things that go into the way a child communicates to us
25:32
in the playroom. So really taking that time to
25:35
observe first. Don't feel like you have to jump
25:38
in with a reflection just because there's been silence.
25:41
I lean very heavily these days into many hats, but including my
25:47
psychodynamic psychotherapy hat. And I love silences.
25:51
Love it. And I love metaphors as well.
25:54
If silences make you feel uncomfortable, that's such an
25:58
important topic to really be unpacking and thinking through
26:04
to explore what that means for you in the playroom.
26:08
It's super, super important and I think is incredible for us to
26:13
be able to consider in our practise.
26:16
So what are the techniques that we use in the playroom, you
26:18
guys? So we use the child's language.
26:21
So when we're talking about playtherapy, the language is
26:24
play itself, responding within their chosen metaphor rather
26:29
than forcing. Verbal processing is always key
26:32
here. So we're not going to expect
26:34
children to be able to talk through their feelings.
26:36
We are going to engage and meet with them where they're at.
26:40
So important. I mentioned it before, but
26:43
reflective statements are one of those things that we use in play
26:46
therapy to help them to know that we're following along and
26:51
validating and mirroring their experience.
26:54
So instead of asking them a question, what, why did that
26:58
happen or what happened there, we might say you're making that
27:02
now. You're doing that to build that
27:05
to exactly the way you want. So we're making sure that we're
27:09
not questioning or asking for that more information because
27:15
that's about what we need and not necessarily what the child
27:20
is seeking in the playroom. They're seeking that connection,
27:22
they're seeking that relationship.
27:24
So maybe that's something you could try if you're feeling like
27:27
you're on the verge of asking a question because you're like,
27:30
gosh, if I just knew this, I'd better understand the child and
27:34
actually just sit with focusing on the connection first,
27:40
focusing on picking up on those nonverbal cues, reflecting some
27:45
of those statements back to the child instead to build that
27:48
relationship. Another thing that I wanted to
27:52
mention here, I guess in kind of putting this podcast together
27:55
and thinking about those practical steps for you as a
27:58
play therapist in that therapeutic alliance in the
28:00
therapeutic relationship is the idea of rituals in the playroom.
28:05
This is something that I talked to a lot of practitioners about
28:09
and I wanted to share with you guys that I had one of my
28:13
beautiful teachers many years ago now teach me about the
28:19
importance of rituals. And of course it's not something
28:22
that you would necessarily find in the textbook by Gary Landreth
28:25
or in child centred play therapy texts.
28:28
So I just want to clarify this, but for my experience of
28:32
connecting very much in a dedicated CCPT space, I had one
28:36
of my clients, AKA my teachers, explain to me through play how
28:42
important taking your shoes off at the beginning of a session
28:47
was to begin our therapy work. So I'm saying that that's
28:51
important. That was important for that
28:53
particular client. So every client is obviously
28:56
different, but what this teacher taught me was that metaphoric
29:03
entering of the playroom could potentially look like literally
29:08
like you would do, say, if you are coming home.
29:12
And if your ritual at home is to take your shoes off before you
29:14
walk into your house, before you connect and ground yourself in
29:19
your home, that may also be the case in play therapy.
29:23
So is that pure CCPT? No, but what I want to highlight
29:28
is that I would never have thought of that or considered
29:31
that if I hadn't connected with this particular client and
29:35
teacher. So I have that ritual now where
29:40
it's important for me before I enter the playroom to take off
29:43
my shoes because I need to feel grounded in the space and
29:48
consciously aware that we've started the session.
29:52
So if you find that you have clients who are through play,
29:57
suggesting their own rituals, I think that's important to listen
30:01
and take notice of and to really respect that that might be part
30:05
of their process. That can also be at the end as
30:09
well. If they were, say, needing a
30:11
transition toy, for example. What that looks like is going to
30:16
be individual for each child that you work with.
30:19
But that idea of entering and exiting the playroom, obviously
30:23
making sure that we are adhering to our CCPT approach, but
30:27
recognising that every child is different and they have their
30:31
own unique way of connecting and initially coming into the
30:35
playroom and leaving at the end. So having some of those rituals
30:38
might be part of the techniques that you use in the playroom.
30:43
I think that considering non verbal communication is always
30:46
important when we're talking about the therapeutic
30:48
relationship. So we're very mindful of having
30:52
an open posture, communicating through our body language that
30:56
we are there, we are present, we are congruent, we are accepting
31:01
so important, making sure that we are obviously offering an
31:05
appropriate distancing between our self and the child.
31:09
We're not going to isolate them, but we're going to also give
31:11
them space so that they feel comfortable in the playroom.
31:15
We respect both that verbal communication of what we say in
31:18
the playroom, but we also respect that non verbal
31:21
communication in literally how we position ourselves in the
31:24
playroom. Obviously at all times when
31:27
we're doing this modality and this approach in our therapy
31:31
interventions that we're using a calm, steady and congruent tone
31:36
of voice that I guess goes without saying.
31:40
What are some of the pitfalls that beginning play therapists
31:44
or even I guess Seasons 1 seasoned ones too, might fall
31:47
into when we are connecting with kids in play therapy?
31:52
I think that sometimes, like I was earlier talking about, we
31:56
can certainly feel that pressure of needing to start to address
32:00
therapeutic goals. And so we might rush that
32:04
rapport building or establishing a relationship component of the
32:08
work that we're doing with a child in the playroom.
32:10
So I just want to give you guys permission again that for some
32:13
kids that might be fairly natural and flow really easily
32:19
and for some it may not. And sometimes we really build an
32:24
incredibly solid foundation in the work that we do in the
32:28
playroom. And then something or a series
32:31
of events happens outside of play therapy that really
32:34
challenges that relationship in the playroom.
32:36
And so that relationship between US and the child shifts and
32:40
changes over the course of therapy.
32:43
So again, I want to give you guys permission if you've been
32:45
in the field for a while now and you're seeing transitions or
32:49
changes in that therapeutic relationship where sometimes it
32:53
feels really easy and sometimes it feels really hard.
32:56
That's also really normal because kids progress in play
32:59
therapy is not linear and it shouldn't be.
33:03
So one of the other aspects that I guess I wanted to mention
33:07
before I wrap up today is the idea of how we build not only
33:12
our therapeutic relationship with the child, but also with
33:15
the parents and caregivers. I think that this can sometimes
33:19
be a really challenging aspect of the work if connecting with
33:24
parents or caregivers doesn't necessarily come naturally for
33:27
you in the beginning days. As a play therapist.
33:30
I know for myself, having come from a career background in
33:36
child protection and working in government and non government
33:38
sectors before I moved into play therapy and private practise, it
33:42
wasn't necessarily something that I had never done before.
33:45
And so I felt fairly comfortable in that space.
33:49
But if you are a beginning play therapist and you've not
33:51
necessarily had that experience, it could be tough for you, it
33:55
could be challenging. So again, I just want to
33:57
normalise that guys, we are all on our own journeys of growth as
34:03
play therapists. So please don't compare yourself
34:06
to anyone else. This is your own journey.
34:08
Because guess what? CCPT lives and breathes in every
34:13
aspect of our lives. This is why I love it and This
34:16
is why I'll talk about it for days.
34:17
Because you can apply that progress of CCPT that we see in
34:22
the playroom to things like your relationship with parents and
34:26
caregivers or your own professional journey as a play
34:29
therapist. Initially, it's going to be
34:31
really interesting as you explore the topic of CCPT and
34:35
how to do it. And then it gets really hard for
34:37
a while where you're kind of questioning yourself and whether
34:40
this was a good idea to be a play therapist and how am I
34:43
going to do this? And then you move into this
34:45
space of really deepening your work until you feel like you can
34:50
do it. And, and I hate to break it to
34:53
everyone, but I don't necessarily think we ever get to
34:55
mastery. That isn't a nice beautiful
34:58
ending to that story. Sorry, guys.
35:00
I think that we are always, always learning.
35:04
And I've always said, and I think I've said this before, as
35:07
soon as I feel like I'm an expert, that's the time I need
35:09
to hang up my hat because I think that we always need to be
35:12
open to learning new things anyway.
35:14
A girlfriend, attention working with parents and caregivers.
35:19
It is so important that we are looking at working holistically
35:23
with parents and caregivers, not working in isolation with the
35:26
child. I am going to dedicate a whole
35:29
podcast to working with parents and caregivers, you guys.
35:32
And it's coming because I feel like it's something that I get
35:34
asked a lot and I have so much I want to reflect on and offer in
35:40
that space. So especially if you're a
35:41
beginning play therapist, I promise that's coming.
35:44
So we won't talk about that too much today because I will go off
35:46
on a tangent and anyone that knows me knows I will do that.
35:49
So what I want to acknowledge when we're talking about
35:53
building a relationship with a child is we cannot do that
35:56
without building a relationship with a parent or caregiver as
35:59
well. So you can't do it in isolation.
36:01
Conversely, you can't build a relationship with a parent and
36:04
caregiver and not necessarily dedicate that time and effort
36:07
into connecting with a child either.
36:10
It has to be both. So they're not only bystanders,
36:14
they're allies in this modality and way of working and achieving
36:19
those therapeutic outcomes. So how can we help to support
36:23
parents? Obviously, having a very
36:26
detailed kind of overview in that initial consultation to
36:29
really bring an understanding for parents and caregivers about
36:34
their role and what that's going to look like over the course of
36:37
therapy and reinforcing that every four to six weeks when we
36:40
catch up with them for parent consultation.
36:42
Like I said, guys, we'll talk about this in another topic in
36:45
another episode, but it's really important that we are helping
36:50
them to feel updated along the way.
36:53
Offering, I guess, debriefs or catch UPS, more quicker catch
36:57
UPS if we need to in between those parent updates to make
37:01
sure that they're across what's happening.
37:03
But not necessarily talking about the details of the
37:06
sessions because we need to protect the confidentiality of
37:08
the child, but certainly providing psycho education and
37:11
strategies where we can so that we are really fostering that
37:16
alliance and relationship and connection with the parents and
37:19
caregivers. Because we also know from the
37:21
research that if we have caregiver involvement, we have a
37:24
higher chance of being able to achieve those successful
37:28
outcomes with kids. So again like I said, I am going
37:32
to talk about that more in an upcoming episode, but we can't
37:36
look at building that therapeutic relationship with a
37:38
child without acknowledging that relationship with the parent or
37:41
caregiver and of course stakeholders as well.
37:45
So I wanted to keep this brief, you guys.
37:48
And we are at 37 minutes. Oh my gosh, if you are still
37:54
here, thank you. Thank you for listening.
37:56
Oh my gosh, I should have said at the beginning, get a coffee
38:00
if you're listening. Oh my gosh, that is amazing that
38:03
I've been able to talk about that for so long.
38:04
There you go. Look, I want to wrap this up
38:06
because it's 37 minutes, you guys, I need to let you go.
38:11
But what I want to do is emphasise the takeaways of this
38:15
episode. So let me say it to you this
38:19
way, the therapeutic relationship is not an add on to
38:22
play therapy. It's the foundation.
38:26
So important, guys, we need to reassure our parents.
38:31
But also I want to reassure you as the listener, as that play
38:35
therapist out there doing great, great work.
38:39
That progress can be slow, but it's a relational progress that
38:44
paves the way for therapeutic outcomes and change.
38:48
So we can't have those therapeutic outcomes if we don't
38:52
invest that time into establishing that solid
38:56
therapeutic relationship with a child in the playroom.
38:59
So if you ever feel that nervousness or urge to move into
39:05
a different approach away from CCPT or feeling that pressure to
39:10
deliver those therapeutic outcomes, remember that
39:13
establishing that relationship first is absolutely going to get
39:17
you there in being able to then achieve those therapeutic goals.
39:20
We can't do it without it. So I want you guys to take this
39:24
opportunity now at the end of this episode to have a
39:27
reflection of your own around your moments of connection in
39:32
the playroom and what stands out for you.
39:34
If I say what does that look like for you?
39:37
What are some of those most memorable moments for you?
39:40
And what have been some of those most challenging moments too?
39:45
Because it's not just those great, you know, connections
39:48
that we make. I sometimes think that it's
39:51
actually the challenging situations that we encounter in
39:55
the playroom that actually builds and deepens our skills
40:00
and knowledge in the space and really enhances our ability to
40:05
do the work that we do. So hey, I want to thank you so
40:09
much for being here. Thank you so much for listening.
40:12
I really hope my goal is always that this is helpful and useful
40:16
in your practise. We wanna hear from you.
40:19
So we will be posting this episode on our Instagram at the
40:24
Play Therapy Circle podcast. So please, if you're not
40:27
already, follow us on Instagram, check us out online.
40:33
We love to hear from you. I hope that this has been
40:36
helpful and useful. Thank you so much.
40:38
Next week, what are we going to cover?
40:40
We're going to look at non directive versus directive
40:45
approaches in play therapy. So stay tuned.
40:48
Thanks so much for listening. I'll talk to you soon.
40:53
Thank you so much for being here for another episode of The Play
40:56
Therapy Circle. If anything resonated with you
40:59
today, I'd love it if you could follow the podcast, share it
41:03
with a colleague, or leave a short review.
41:05
It really helps others find our circle.
41:08
And if you have a topic or question you'd love me to
41:11
explore, I'd love to hear from you.
41:14
This space is for you and I want it to feel like a conversation.
41:19
Until next time, take care of yourself and remember you belong
41:23
here.