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FRIENDS · Fostering Faith

• 0:00
  Welcome to Fostering Faith. We're in season two, episode three, and we are so excited as we are doing our podcast on friendship.
• 0:09
  So we invited our best friends, Nicole and Adele Lyons to the podcast, because what would a podcast of friendships be without our best friends?
• 0:19
  And so let me introduce Nicole to you. She is a mom, a wife, an entrepreneur, a business owner, a pastor at our church.
• 0:27
  And so welcome to the podcast, Nicole. Thanks so much. I'm Nicole. Super excited to be here.
• 0:34
  I'm excited to be alongside this journey for the both of you from day one of this becoming life of I think I want to start a podcast to now venturing forward to all the way in season two.
• 0:48
  So it's really exciting. Thank you for having us here. And here is Adele.
• 0:54
  Hey, guys, I'm Adele. Thank you for having us today in season two. I'm in seventh grade and I play volleyball.
• 1:03
  I'm very excited to be here and a little bit nervous. And that's okay.
• 1:07
  That's what friendships are for is to experience new things and be on an adventurous path and not know kind of what you're doing, but we're doing it together.
• 1:17
  So what what have you guys been up to this week? How's school going? Pretty boring. It's only Monday.
• 1:25
  Yeah, I almost fell asleep in class today. But that's that's all. You should probably not say it with your mom in the room.
• 1:32
  What have you guys what are you guys looking forward to as the school year continues?
• 1:38
  Like all the eighth grade stuff that's going to happen. Spirit days. You have one this week. Yeah, we got one this week. Thursday.
• 1:46
  Right out. Yeah. Okay. Do you guys have some questions for us? Yeah, we do. Okay, let's go. You want us to ask them?
• 1:53
  Okay. Our first question is, how did you guys first meet? But like from both sides, like Nicole, how do you think you guys met?
• 2:00
  And what was your perspective? And what was your perspective when you guys first met? Okay.
• 2:04
  Can I go first? Because here's what I love about Tracy. Tracy has I don't know who has a great memory, but Tracy has a great memory.
• 2:12
  I was like Tracy has the memory of an owl or Tracy. But I don't know if they have good memories.
• 2:16
  I think that's why her favorite animals are an owl. But Tracy has the best memory and I have the worst memories.
• 2:23
  How these opposite attract? Here we are. I do remember we met in a small group. Was it the Crazy Faith small group? No.
• 2:31
  No, we've been at that. Yeah, we invented we did the one that was in the park. The one that the pink cover seamless seamless.
• 2:43
  Yeah. And then we walked into another one, the 2020. And that's when COVID hit. And then you've been stuck with me since.
• 2:53
  Yeah, we've just been doing doing life since serving in church together and then kind of just falling into each other's laps in a small group.
• 3:02
  So how do you think that you guys met? Like, what was your perspective when you met Nicole?
• 3:07
  And so whenever you had picked our our City Hope Church, she was already there and just kind of walking through church together,
• 3:18
  just kind of being a back row specialist and not wanting to be noticed by anybody and even just kind of noticed her on stage and just she had a presence about her.
• 3:26
  She was fun. She was just like, you know, and then we moved into the bigger church and, you know, just kind of got to know her a little bit more and just kind of prayed for a good friend.
• 3:34
  Prayed that was like, you know what? There is no reason that we cannot be best friends. I'm like, she looks like she needs a Tracy in her life.
• 3:40
  Like, God, make that happen. And then I kind of just stepped out into like, I've never done a small group. You're going to leave me eventually.
• 3:48
  So I'm going to need adult friends. So joined some small joined a small group and she was into working out.
• 3:55
  And so I just kind of invited myself over to her house to work out.
• 3:59
  And we just kind of went through small groups and continue to encourage each other to work out.
• 4:04
  And then husbands met and you guys were hanging out. And so it was just like we all kind of really meshed well together.
• 4:11
  Every blonde needs a good brunette in her life. Right. Absolutely.
• 4:16
  And so you guys, what how do you guys meet?
• 4:21
  How I remember it, you made me go to this church thing or something.
• 4:28
  And like she was outside playing like big Jenga. So I wanted to go over there and play big Jenga too.
• 4:34
  And then we were like running on like those like little skiers that you sit on and like we like put it up and we had to like roll it up the thing.
• 4:42
  That's all I remember from it. And I went to her house after that.
• 4:45
  Yeah, I don't remember a bunch, but we were talking about it at school because we share the same locker room.
• 4:51
  And she was like, do you remember never we met? No, not really.
• 4:56
  Yeah. Well, like, you know, I just went over to your house. That's all I remember.
• 5:00
  Yeah, that's all I remember. And then like she showed me like her tree house and everything.
• 5:04
  Yeah. She was so excited about that tree house. I was so excited.
• 5:07
  It is a little bit fun how a lot of relationships, friendships start because the kids are friends and then the parents become friends.
• 5:15
  But in our case, it was kind of we were friends and then our kids kind of were forced to be friends.
• 5:19
  But it so worked out. And then our husbands met and then they are two peas in a pod.
• 5:24
  And it just kind of worked really well together.
• 5:28
  But I do find it kind of funny that you guys mentioned like you guys first met each other first day.
• 5:33
  And then like we're instantly friends and you guys were already over at the house where adults whenever we are awkwardly trying to be friends with somebody,
• 5:41
  we have so many different issues that we've played in our head that we can't be friends.
• 5:45
  We're not good enough. They're not, you know, like all these things.
• 5:48
  It takes months to even get a conversation up just to say, hey, let's go have coffee.
• 5:52
  And kids are like, hey, let's just be best friends.
• 5:55
  And then you drown each other in like phone calls and sleepovers.
• 5:59
  And I think that adults should take that piece of ease and bring that into adult relationships.
• 6:07
  We make friendships so hard as adults.
• 6:10
  And I think that we miss out on community. Is community important for for us?
• 6:18
  Yeah, I think.
• 6:20
  Why would you guys think that?
• 6:22
  Because of what brings us together as Christians, because that's what like churches are.
• 6:27
  It's like community.
• 6:29
  What scripture say about?
• 6:31
  Well, actually funny that you asked because when I got here, I had to use the restroom and hanging on your wall is the scripture that I actually had in mind was like the strand of three cords.
• 6:41
  Right. And so how the strand of three cords is not easily broken.
• 6:45
  And that's like God in the center and then each of us as friends on the outside.
• 6:49
  And so wrapping each other together like I think that's important is having God at the center of our friendships.
• 6:56
  And then it brings us closer together.
• 7:00
  Do you want to elaborate on why having friends are important from a godly perspective?
• 7:11
  Why? Why do we need God in the center of our friendships?
• 7:16
  Why is it important to surround yourself with people who believe in God and believe in encouraging each other and building each other up?
• 7:24
  Because like what you hear and everything and what you surround yourself is is what you're going to turn out as and everything.
• 7:32
  And like if you surround yourself with like people who like listen to bad stuff and everything, you're going to want to fit in with them and do the same stuff.
• 7:40
  If you surround yourself with a Christian like base friends, then you'll like you'll like want to be surrounded with them and fit in with them and everything like that.
• 7:49
  That's how I think of it.
• 7:50
  What did you just whisper to me, Adele?
• 7:52
  You took my answer.
• 7:55
  Yeah, I think like I don't know, you need to like surround yourself with Christian people because I feel like I don't know.
• 8:10
  Yeah, if you like hanging around with like bad people or like they listen to like not good stuff or whatever, then like you're going to start listening to that.
• 8:20
  And then you're going to become one of them.
• 8:25
  But I think it's going to be also too important to say that there was not you didn't mean that there's bad people.
• 8:32
  And so your actions don't match your actions.
• 8:35
  And so what you're listening to, what shows you're watching, what music you're watching, but it's also to not limiting.
• 8:41
  We can be friends with other people that are not Christians because we are meant to be the light in their darkness.
• 8:49
  So they could be listening to secular music and watching different shows and things of that nature.
• 8:55
  And so we are going to be their light to their darkness.
• 9:00
  And so I think that's important to have an array of people in your life.
• 9:10
  Do you have any more questions for us?
• 9:13
  We have a lot more.
• 9:14
  How about you guys go?
• 9:16
  OK.
• 9:17
  Describe a good friendship.
• 9:18
  What's a good friendship mean to you?
• 9:20
  Where you can like talk to them about everything in your life.
• 9:24
  That's what I think.
• 9:25
  Yeah, talk to them about like everything that you want.
• 9:28
  Just like go around and you know.
• 9:31
  But I could talk to anybody about anything.
• 9:33
  Right.
• 9:34
  So what makes a good friendship?
• 9:36
  Like they don't go and tell others.
• 9:39
  They keep your secrets.
• 9:40
  OK.
• 9:41
  Yeah.
• 9:42
  Like they don't like you telling them something and they don't like make fun of you for it or whatever.
• 9:50
  Yeah, I agree with that.
• 9:52
  No judgment?
• 9:53
  Yeah.
• 9:54
  Do you feel like it's easy to find those types of friendships?
• 9:58
  No.
• 9:59
  No?
• 10:00
  Why?
• 10:01
  Because you would have to like know them for a long time to know like what they were like about and everything like that.
• 10:11
  That's what I feel like.
• 10:13
  Maybe.
• 10:14
  And so I think that we've discussed it before.
• 10:16
  You have levels of friends and so you have like level 10 friends.
• 10:19
  You have level two friends.
• 10:20
  You have like you're calling someone at midnight and saying, hey, jump in the car.
• 10:24
  Let's go versus like you have like level one friends where you're like, you know, you're nice and hey, like, let's go eat or something like that nature.
• 10:33
  But you're not you're not sharing like your concerns.
• 10:36
  You're not, you know, getting on that that personal level until that trust is built.
• 10:42
  And so I think that it's OK to have like your inner core, your outer core and you have, you know, associations and people that you're not level 10 with.
• 10:52
  But you have to choose wisely.
• 10:56
  And I think that there's scripture to to max that where we choose the people that choose people wisely, but also to praying that he gives us discernment of who he wants in our lives.
• 11:07
  And so I think that's also important that we always choose to pray over the people that are in our lives.
• 11:13
  Now, when we pray at night, what is something that we ask for in friendships?
• 11:17
  We pray for God to send us what?
• 11:21
  Encouraging.
• 11:23
  Encouraging friendships.
• 11:25
  We pray that almost every night for God to just send people who are encouraging, who want to help build this up, who want to point us back to him.
• 11:32
  I was going to say like strong relations.
• 11:35
  Yeah, but that didn't it didn't fit in the blank.
• 11:42
  Is it our turn for questions?
• 11:46
  What are the three words from each of you that describe your friendship?
• 11:51
  Like you give Tracy gives the name about about Tracy and Tracy about Nicole.
• 11:59
  And so energy.
• 12:06
  Unknown.
• 12:08
  And real.
• 12:11
  What's unknown for?
• 12:13
  Because you never know what kind of situation you're going to get yourself into with this one.
• 12:17
  And so you have to be like ready to have an unplanned day.
• 12:21
  And we know that my life is very structured and very organized.
• 12:25
  And we are exact opposite people.
• 12:27
  And she will just go and do the spur of the moment thing.
• 12:29
  And it is just about deep breathing.
• 12:31
  How fun would it be to travel to Mexico this Friday?
• 12:34
  Let's go and potentially always having money with you.
• 12:40
  And just that real raw.
• 12:42
  She's going to tell me how it is.
• 12:44
  She's going to tell me she's going to call me out.
• 12:46
  She's going to tell me the truth in a loving way.
• 12:51
  And she's going to punch me in the face if I need it.
• 12:53
  She is literally loving and she is inspiring.
• 13:00
  And because you have to hang out with people that are going to inspire you to be better and to dig deeper and to just be that that lift whenever you don't have faith in yourself.
• 13:12
  And they're there to build you up and that's what's so important about friendships is that we're here to build each other up and not tear each other down.
• 13:20
  We're here to call you out if you have a dumb idea.
• 13:23
  That's not going to work sister.
• 13:25
  Let's regroup.
• 13:26
  But we're here to build each other up.
• 13:28
  And so she really is just that kind of that encompassing of what I need in my life.
• 13:37
  So that's my favorite.
• 13:38
  Gosh, I don't know if I can narrow mine down to three words.
• 13:41
  I think one of the biggest words for Tracy as a friend to me would be loyal, committed like those two are kind of the same loyal and committed.
• 13:56
  I think something that makes friendship true, something that really makes a good friendship is that she knows my struggles.
• 14:06
  Right.
• 14:07
  But my struggles don't make Tracy run away.
• 14:09
  Instead, it makes her help me walk through them.
• 14:12
  And I think that's what builds a really great relationship.
• 14:15
  And that's something that's been there since day one is like Tracy is humble enough to say like I got issues to let's let's do this together instead of being scared of my issues.
• 14:28
  Secondly, the exact opposite of what she just said is her commitment and her routine, her schedules.
• 14:35
  I wake up some mornings and it's like, okay, today I have Tracy goals like I just want to do one thing that is the same.
• 14:42
  I just want to stay on that path.
• 14:44
  And I think we balance each other well there is like you call me out.
• 14:47
  As you said, punch me in the face whenever it's like, hey, dumb dumb, you really should do this because you haven't done it in a week, which sorry body shop.
• 14:57
  We'll try to get back to the gym soon.
• 14:59
  Let's start there.
• 15:01
  And then my third word is probably going to be selfless.
• 15:05
  I don't know that I have met a person that is more selfless than Tracy.
• 15:12
  You know, we were actually just talking at church.
• 15:16
  Pastor Seth was talking this week about scripture and how, you know, you are to turn the other cheek whenever someone does you wrong.
• 15:25
  And I think that's really your mom is like she forgives easily.
• 15:30
  She may not forget, but she forgives easily.
• 15:33
  And she is just somebody who would give the shirt off her back and the coat to to someone who even she sees in need.
• 15:43
  This person may not even actually be in need, but she's somebody who sees it before before it's actually known and just handles it, sees a problem and really just takes care of the problem.
• 15:52
  So that's something that I adore in our relationship that I see in her and value very much.
• 15:58
  Is there something that you guys have gleaned that you guys have seen off of our relationship that inspire you guys and your guys' friendship?
• 16:12
  Is there anything that you guys are taking from this adult relationship over to your you space?
• 16:18
  You space. What do you mean?
• 16:20
  Like what do you see in us as adults and our friendship that you admire or that encourages you to then be better in your own friend group?
• 16:29
  Something that I see is how you guys actually like talk it out and everything like that.
• 16:37
  And like if you're mad at someone and like then you talk it out.
• 16:43
  But I feel like for us, these kids are like we kind of are scared to like talk it out with people when we're like mad at them or like like annoy with them or something.
• 16:54
  I feel like that's something that I really like admire.
• 16:57
  Okay. Yeah.
• 17:00
  I do. And that is something that I am very important topic that I think that you bring up because I think that people need to fight for friendships.
• 17:07
  You have to have dedicated time.
• 17:09
  You have to build that relationship just like you build a marriage just like you build your portfolio.
• 17:14
  You have to take time and talk things out or in society now you make me mad.
• 17:20
  I'm out.
• 17:21
  But you could have missed out on an amazing friendship, but you have to take that time and hear that person and walk through and have that reflection and be like Christ in seeing that situation.
• 17:36
  Because how many times does he say forgive?
• 17:40
  Yeah. And I think so many times we think that you know the grass is greener on the other side.
• 17:46
  And so we think like we'll just sever this relationship and get a new friend.
• 17:51
  But then we find out that that friend also offends us or you know isn't a perfect person.
• 17:57
  And so then we're back in the same cycle of well now I need a new friend because this one's you know disappointed me too.
• 18:04
  I think knowing that we're all human and that we're all going to eventually disappoint or offend each other is a super valuable piece of friendship.
• 18:12
  They have there's so many things that we could I think there could even be a part two and a part three of friendships.
• 18:22
  Is there anything that you guys could do as far as practical tips to say how to build adult relationships how to build youth center relationships?
• 18:33
  Do you guys have any practical tips for our listeners?
• 18:36
  I feel like just be nice to everyone like when you're talking to them and everything.
• 18:42
  I feel like that's just a big thing with like friend groups and everything.
• 18:45
  Give people a chance and so they may not look like a friend but that could be your best friend.
• 18:51
  And so you know giving people a chance to be that friendship being kind.
• 18:59
  I think you should like pray about your friendships.
• 19:06
  Yeah because we always want God's discernment.
• 19:09
  Yeah and then God will send them our way.
• 19:13
  He will.
• 19:14
  Yeah.
• 19:15
  Any pointers for adults that are out there that are struggling that they don't know how to start a friendship.
• 19:20
  They are they're super awkward.
• 19:22
  They see the cool people at church.
• 19:24
  You know they see the people at the grocery store and they're like oh my gosh like I just need a friend.
• 19:28
  Like what would be a way just to have that that icebreaker conversation and saying hey can we go have coffee?
• 19:37
  I think it's that it's really that simple.
• 19:39
  We just make it so difficult and I think it's because we've had so many years on us compared to like these two that we've experienced disappointment after disappointment.
• 19:48
  And then that just sits in the back of your mind and so it's like oh I don't even want to ask that person because I fear rejection.
• 19:55
  When really in all honesty I would say that person's probably wanting a friendship just as badly as you are.
• 20:02
  And so you know it's a two sided coin.
• 20:06
  It's putting yourself out there and asking for that coffee date or that even morning Bible study or just like we met.
• 20:14
  If you don't have the capacity energy you know unfairness whatever to ask about that then join a stinking small group.
• 20:22
  Like put yourself in spaces that you can easily connect with people and just kind of feel it out for a little bit before you then ask for the coffee date or whatever it is.
• 20:32
  It makes it that much more simple.
• 20:33
  Yeah and I think that a lot of churches are going into their fall season in small group and so that is a great plug for small groups.
• 20:40
  Go find your tribe.
• 20:41
  Go find your people.
• 20:42
  You know it doesn't have to be the whole group of 10 or 15 but there's two or three women, men, youth that are that are starving for that.
• 20:51
  And God will put you where you need to be.
• 20:53
  And so just in prayer you know who do you need to surround yourself with that you're surrounding yourself with people that lift you up and allowing that to be just a season of growth and looking into having more Christ like friendships to build you up and to be more Christ like.
• 21:11
  And that we know that Christ is always with us.
• 21:13
  He is our best friend.
• 21:14
  Even if we don't have a physical friend we always have him and turning to scripture and leaning on him telling him all the things because he doesn't know anyway and and really just letting him be your best friend as well until we can get better friendships.
• 21:29
  I feel like I'm doing a small group promotion and I'm really not but I've been in the space where I attend a small church.
• 21:36
  They don't really do small groups right and so then I think the question would be well what do I do and I just.
• 21:43
  Want to say publicly like find a church that does have small groups and I'm not telling you to leave your church stay in your church but I know just about every church would allow you to join their small group even though you don't attend there right.
• 21:56
  Absolutely like fine find something that fits you.
• 21:59
  Yeah, absolutely.
• 22:00
  And we encourage that there at our church at City Hope you don't have to you know it's it's open come here's the dates here's the times and I know the other local churches have that that too.
• 22:11
  Do you want to pray us out.
• 22:13
  We actually have one more question that we want to really big question.
• 22:17
  Okay.
• 22:18
  Okay.
• 22:19
  What has been your biggest change since like when you guys met from now.
• 22:23
  So what like having what do you think her biggest change was from when you met her first and then what do you think her biggest change was when you first met.
• 22:33
  I'm like that first small group that sat down in to now now oh Tracy is definitely more extroverted now.
• 22:43
  I pulled out a little bit of like like she said that like you always have to be ready kind of thing and so she puts herself out there and she talks to people and she's got a whole friend circle and.
• 22:57
  Yeah, she wrote about that band.
• 23:01
  How is she.
• 23:03
  How is she changed.
• 23:05
  I think.
• 23:11
  I think I'm.
• 23:13
  I don't know.
• 23:14
  Maybe.
• 23:15
  I mean she's not slowed down.
• 23:18
  I'm not sped her up.
• 23:20
  She may eat healthier.
• 23:22
  She may look at food differently since I'm in her head.
• 23:25
  You're welcome.
• 23:26
  I mean I you know she does look at the gym as she goes past it.
• 23:32
  She is well like consistency piece.
• 23:37
  What about like her like I'm like faith of everything do you think that's yeah do you think your faith has changed any like oh absolutely I think has we have we grown in faith together.
• 23:49
  Oh the prayers.
• 23:50
  Oh the prayers.
• 23:51
  I mean just to just to love someone just to pray for their family to literally be on your knees over someone else's kids.
• 24:00
  I mean that's friendship that's like you're hitting your knees in the morning you know over protection over someone else's babies and marriages and walking through difficult life situations.
• 24:13
  Absolutely if anything you get a you get a friend you pray you you pray.
• 24:21
  Absolutely.
• 24:22
  Yeah for sure.
• 24:23
  I think also we have done a really great job of encouraging one another through scripture.
• 24:27
  So there are many times I'll wake up in the morning and the first thing I get is a scripture text from Tracy on you know whatever verse she's studying that morning or you know we just we share that a lot I think through text and tick tocks even.
• 24:41
  Yeah being able to encourage each other through scripture has been definitely a growth.
• 24:50
  Yes.
• 24:51
  Yeah and I think that's a great way to end this is an is in scripture.
• 24:57
  And so I think that we should pray us out and in a friendship prayer and hold you and pray.
• 25:02
  Sure.
• 25:03
  Father thank you for allowing us to have this time.
• 25:06
  Thank you for each person who is listening to this podcast right now. You just bless their lives for the better.
• 25:12
  God that maybe this podcast has encouraged someone or allowed someone's heart to be open to step out in their faith and build a closer friendship.
• 25:22
  We didn't get into the topic of forgiveness or you know burdens that we carry but God if there are people that are listening that just need to forgive in a friendship would you just start that journey would you just heal hearts along the way.
• 25:36
  Thank you for sending the fosters into our lives.
• 25:39
  I know that they have bettered us and encouraged us and help build us up and I just ask that you just continue to send encouraging friendships in for each of us that you continue to strengthen our families in our friendships.
• 25:53
  And thank you for this opportunity. It's in your name we pray. Amen.
• 25:56
  Amen.
• 25:57
  And so stay tuned and so we have so much more to discuss on friendships and so there might be a part two and a part three. We ask that you subscribe to our channel, click on it on YouTube, Spotify, Apple podcast, make sure that you leave a comment, leave a review that's so important for our podcast to grow.
• 26:18
  And so stay tuned for next week and have a great week. Bye.