Latest / Blind But Now I See / BBNIC S3 Episode 31 - The World Wanna Know, Cnote ft WOLF

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BBNIC S3 Episode 31 - The World Wanna Know, Cnote ft WOLF · Blind But Now I See

0:00
Back at it for another episode of the Blobanaci Podcast. I am your host,
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fobc out the Hood, Ray Charles, Blind Pop if you Nasty Shit,
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Don Julio, Junk Poppy, the official Blonde Stepper. We locked in
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you know where. We're at the home of the blomban I c WTF Media
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Studio. We locked in with Wolf, my dog the producer and the Blobanaci
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Podcast and be about to start a little series the people want to Know.
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Wolf got me out my bag two or three weeks ago. He started asking
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questions. I start opening up, just like therapy. So this episode,
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we're gonna do what the world want to Know, and it's featuring Wolf.
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So, oh, before we get into that, if you want motivational quotes,
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if you want updates of what's going on with the podcast, text Blond
0:49
Stepper to file Fall five Fall five Fall, I'm coming up in the world.
0:53
I macaboujie out here. But were gonna get into the episode. So
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what the world want to know? Today? Wolf? All right, and
1:00
so the last conversation that me and you had it wasn't planned. We didn't
1:03
mean to do it like that, but we just kind of got into like
1:06
the flow of this conversation, right, and I started to learn a lot
1:08
of things about you that I didn't know a lot of things about, like
1:11
the nuances of what you went through, and so it just kind of inspired
1:15
some questions that I wanted to ask you, and I got a couple of
1:18
them. But the first thing I'm gonna start with something I asked you last
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time but we could talk about it again, is obviously you can't see on
1:25
your day to day dealings, but you told me that you still have dreams
1:29
every day, not not every day, but them every day. And that's
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that's interesting to me because it's like, how long has it been since since
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the since you know, since I've lost my vision? Yeah, believe it
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or not. When we in Atlanta is gonna make twelve years, twelve years,
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twelve years, and so that's a long time to not to not have
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your sight. Yeah, everything changed, everything changes, but you still find
1:52
yourself having dreams and I hate it. That's the worst thing I hate about
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being blind to dreams because you couldn't see in the dreams. You can see
2:01
in the dreams seeing the dreams class funk? Do you look Okay? That
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makes me think, do you look forward to having dreams then, because it's
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like you get your sight back. Oh no, I don't like to have
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dreams when you it's like for that moment you seeing. But then when you
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know the littlest thing, somebody will wake you up. You get a phone
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call, you out that dream. Now you pissed off. Now when you
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pick up the phone, you mad at the person you really talking to it,
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And it's really not the fault. That's really how you be feeling.
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Yeah, shout out to DJ Chris because he always do it to me every
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time four o'clock in the morning. I'm just like, bro, what are
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you calling me for fucking up the dreams I can see in my dreams.
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So it's not the dream that pissed you off as the fact that you get
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reminded that it's temporary. Yeah, n, because when you wake up back
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to reality, and then that'd be the worst thing, because like you're seeing
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things that you really want to see, damn, and you just like damn,
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Like damn, I see my son in my dreams. Then it's like,
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yoh, I see adds in my dreams, females in my dreams.
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It's like you see people that you ain't seeing two twelve years and then when
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you wake up, it's like back to reality. You're in the dark.
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Do you have any recurrent dreams, like maybe it's there, like a place
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you find yourself going back to a lot, Dad, I got shot?
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You dream about that and crazy? And the dream is I can see myself
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on the floor. It's like I'm watching everything play out, and it's like,
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what could I do different? I had that dream for the last twelve
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years and it's nothing. They're different, really and truly besides doing twenty five
3:31
years right now, and I wouldn't even been on this podcast. I'd have
3:34
been in jail for murder. Wow. So it's like that shit plays in
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my head over and over and over. Wow. Different. And sometimes I
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have dreams about parties that I throw and I said, say, damn,
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like but you see the parties but you but you couldn't see it in real
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life. I can't see it in my dreams. I'm seeing the ship,
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I'm seeing the people dance, I'm seeing the people move. That shit busts
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my head the most. Wow. You're seeing the low lights, you see
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the people dance and move, and the bottles moving, and it's like everything
4:05
just happening, but it's like I'm seeing it in my dreams. Wow.
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I appreciate those dreams though, yeah, because it's like, damn, I'm
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seeing the work that I'm playing in. I see where the money coming in
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at. But the dreams that remind me of my child, I hate those.
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They could keep those dreams and keep those. I have dreams about Cherokee,
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you know, I love those because you remember what she looked like.
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I remember how she looked. So it's like that that dreams like that would
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never go away. Hey, yoss, I'm so yo. It's so crazy
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that you brought Cherokee yo, because that's the perfect segue into my next question.
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It's almost like you, yeah, I didn't show you these, so
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it's crazy that you brought that up. But like obviously since you haven't seen
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with your eyes physically in like twelve years. But I remember talking to you
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last time and you said you still watch poring Hell yeah, changing, but
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why you can hear it? That'll put a vision to the sound man.
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Listen, Doe Cherokee. It's cleo, beauty do yod. And it's like,
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once you've seen, you've seen what you've seen them all you got to
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do is clap you know what it is, bagshots into place and go from
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there. And Scott is still there life even being an adult. It's like
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if I wasn't an adult, what I'd be doing? Do you try to
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guess people's ethnicity based off of how they sound? Hell? Yeah, can
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you tell? Sometimes I do get it right, you get it right.
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Sometimes sometimes I get it right. Sometimes it's just like I don't know.
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I was like, yo, I know you mixed for something. So do
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you when you hear certain people's like voices like like mine? For example?
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Right, what do you think is there a vision in your mind that might
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come up when you're like listening to me speak to you? See that that's
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cheap because like I listen to horrible decisions. So right understand, Yeah,
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you know it's like I already got this picture in my head of you.
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True, true, true, damn. So it's different. But like when
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I first met you, I didn't expect like the dregs and none of that.
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Yeah, based off the tone of voice. Yeah, like your tone
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of voices, like the part like your presence, like just you'll think it's
6:17
like more like muscular. Really, I thought you was bigger than me at
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one point. No, bro, I'm like five nine was bigger than me
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at one point or like then. It's like it's like the way they described
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you, like your presence, you'd be like, oh yeah, but I'm
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like damn. I'm like damn, think I'm bigger than wolf. Now you
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are real talk like I'm like, so it's like sometimes like just going on
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for like I feel it's crazy because me being blind, I fall in love
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over voices. You feel like voices tell you a lot about a person,
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the whole story. Mm hmm, just by listening to the voice. Sometimes
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I listen to a voice and I love you with impact really, but Porto
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Rica, Dominicans and all that, Like I love Poppy and all that.
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That's just like a turnoff. It's like you're going off for a voice.
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That's why you're the blond poppy. Yeah, if you're nasty audience, the
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official blind stuff. But yeah, but I go for a voice. It's
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like like it's a security guard that works at the Friday situation. I hear
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her voice, I say, yoah, she got to me think for something.
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When I said she was like, yeah, she's training daddy and she's
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Native America she's black and VENEZUELI. I said, I know you was different.
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She's like, how you know, just like the tone of your voice
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to sound like the way you pronunciate a lot of words. I know you
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wasn't just a nigga, like I just know it. So let me ask
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you this when you decided, like every time I see you, you look
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put together. You don't never look crazy. Everything is matching the sequence and
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sequencing the way they have. I got this question asked for times this week.
8:01
Okay, so my court addressed myself. You dress yourself? Yeah,
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how I had to till I know my clothes. I'm big on fashion,
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from my hat to my sweaters, to my shirt, to my pants to
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my sneakers. I know, I know my stuff. I'm big on fashion.
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When I go to the store, I'm looking for this and they just
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put this clothes in my hand and I'm just feeling them like I want these,
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Yeah, I want this. I want this, like based on how
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it feels when I first got shot, it was now my mother is shopping
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for me and all that. It's like, yeah, my mother nose like
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fashion and all that. She raised me. But it's like sometimes button ups
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like I ain't want to do the polos like it was just basic, true
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religions, polos constructions. I'm basic. But then after a while when Tom
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when the fashion star changed, I got to change with it. So when
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you go shopping at a store and you're you're putting your hands on fabric and
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garments, you really judging it based off for how I feel, how it
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feels, how quality it feels that if you got rips in the jeans,
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I feel for those. So if it feels add in, like I'm like
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I could throw these on with some constructions, I can wear these on Jonts
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like I masked that ship, Like I feel the bottom of the pins to
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see if it's skinny leg or boot cutting. All that. I feel for
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all that shit, right, So you know details, so you know what
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quality fabric feels like, like when it's like heavier, got that heavier,
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I know when you wash it's gonna be over to when you wash this,
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it's like you want this lasts long? But what about the color though,
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Like how are you in tune with the color? Like obviously they tell you,
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but like when you at the point where you you're waking up wiping the
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crust, that your eye. You go to the closet wherever the clothes are.
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How can you do you remember what color is? It is based on
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how it feels. Yeah, that's crazy thinking about it. Like I got
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that central Swiss. I feel this. I know this is my central swissle
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different pattern the way the stre just tied in my sweater. I know which
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one it is, right, and so like you got, I'm like,
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all right, this is my skull head sweater. Put it on, alright?
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These is my pants? Are these the ones that guy the zip on
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the side? All right? Cool? Put them on? I know,
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and I know jauntings. So it's like that ain't gonna never change. And
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I go from there. I feel my head. I know what hat it
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is, all right, this is the pe yellow al right, I'm gonna
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put this on. And so you know, and the reason why you notice
10:28
is because there's like there's like particular little like I don't even know how to
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say it stick out like almost like brail in this but like texture wise,
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you feel like, oh this texture belongs to my blue shirt. Yeah,
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damn, put it together, like I know what this is just like my
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T shirts? All right? Cool? I know this is a regular T
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shirt. This is my polo. I can fill a polo hors at the
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bottom. Alright, cool, I take this out and go from there.
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Let me ask you this. There's let's say like when you you're shaking and
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you move and you walk in, maybe you with your son or you just
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you know, doing what you gotta do, trying to get somewhere, trying
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to get the A to B. What is it like hearing everything outside,
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like the car, the people, the wind. Like when I first lost
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my vision, I hated you because it's like it's so much going on.
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So it's like when you lose your vision, your ears is the strongest thing
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to your your vision. So it's like you depending on your ears to see.
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So you walk on the streets, you just hear everything going on.
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It's like your sens is just going off crazy. The as time went by
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to learn to focus on one thing, so you walk, you just focusing.
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So now it's like I can hear. Now I can hear ten different
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things that I won't get distracted. It won't break my concentration of what's going
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on because you're only focusing on what it is, Like I ain't focused on
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the cars driving. It's like when before I hit the cause I hear the
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engine, I'm hearing them beeping. That shit fucked me up. It distracts
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me on what's going on on me. Wow. Now when I walk,
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I tone the cars out, I hear the people around me. I know.
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Plus I know when somebody coming close. My ears closed, so I
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mean somebody is too close to me? Right. So now it's like you
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just that's that's so amazing because like obviously when you have your sight and your
12:18
vision, it's like, well, I don't have to worry about being over
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stimulated from my ears. Depend on your heads. You see everything that's going
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on around you, right, Like you can like visually I hear somebody running.
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I could like I can feel somebody walking towards me right, Wow,
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different things people like Yo, there's such such sad Bro. I know your
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voice before you even said it. Bro, who was before you tell me?
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Bro? Like sometimes I just don't forget. Like when you walk in
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on the block, the like your ears closed because you're next to the houses.
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But the minue you coross the street, it opens up. Nah,
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you know what I've noticed that before. It's almost like a pressure you feel.
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That's just like like sometimes you walk closed in coming from everything. As
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soon you want to go to the street, everything open up. That's when
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my vision get louder. I hear everything. Then wow, you know here,
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that's amazing. So hearing you described obviously that's like that takes work right,
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you had to get I had to get used to it. You had
13:13
to get used to that. I trust my ends instead of depending on my
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vision. When people talk about meditation, a lot of the time they'll tell
13:22
you, like to focus in on like one thing, right, So I
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don't know. Hearing you talk about learning how to utilize your ears, it
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makes me think about when people focus on something to meditate. Have you Have
13:35
you ever tried meditation? I never tried it. But the crazy thing about
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it is when I get an idea and I'm in my room, I got
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to come out of my room to go in the living room. Is it
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more space? Bigger space? Wait? Said that again? And when I'm
13:46
in my room and I catch it the idea, something I got to leave
13:50
out of my room to come in the living room to think, it's more
13:52
space for me? You like it better in the living room. There's more
13:56
space. I feel like when it's closed in I can't think because it's too
14:03
much things going up, Like you hear too much in my room. So
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it's like a mother. I can't concentrate because then you're here, like the
14:11
floor cracking or I hit a bird on an egg condition of different things.
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It's like I can't, Sorry, bet, let me leave out the room.
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I go in the living room. It's still noise and stuff, but
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it's a bigger space for me to think. I told people that they looked
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at me like I was crazy, but it's really real. I can focus
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on what I'm thinking about more when I'm in my living room, right because
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it's not as condensed. Yeah, just like they talk about me when I
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walk back and forth when I catch an idea, Yeah, I feel like
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I stand still is going to run out of my mind. So by me
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walking back and forth, I'm catching up to the idea to execute it.
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That's crazy. I heard a guy say the other day. He was like,
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as your body moves, your brain grooves, and it's kind of like
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what you're saying right now. It's like when I'm when I'm onto something,
14:56
my mind is really like doing what to do, Like I walk around in
15:00
our pace. That's something I've been trying to do more lately. When I'm
15:03
thinking about like podcasts, it's like that I don't sing. That's the best
15:05
thing you can do, bro, trust me. Yeah, don't sit down,
15:09
like get up, moved around. I'm on the phone. I walk
15:11
back and forth like can you stop moving? Making me nervous. But if
15:15
I sit down, I'm gonna lose my train of thought. You're gonna lose
15:16
your trainer thought. Even when I'm walking outside, I talk to myself.
15:20
So you be looking like that, is this nigga crazy? But when really
15:26
it's like I'm talking to make it make sense to myself. Yeah, you're
15:28
getting in tune with yourself, making it make sense to myself. Once myself
15:31
agree with myself, this is this is the idea. Shoot it. I
15:37
got something and it's been working as far because it's like, do these parties.
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I got three other people that depend on me to make these parties happen.
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So evidently what I'm doing is working. So why stop it because somebody
15:50
think I'm crazy? Do you feel like you hear the voice of God?
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Yeah? All the time? What is what is that? Like when you
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hear the voice of guy? What is that like to you. It's how
16:04
would you describe it? It's silent, but just little signs and little things
16:11
that he like he touch you with you feel it. It's like the comfort
16:18
of somebody hands around like arms around you. It's just like that I heard
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it from when I got shot. It's like I'm gonna do this for you,
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but you gotta do this for me. I accepted it, and it's
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like every time I get to that point when it's I feel like yo,
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it's done, is over. He come back and remind me, like what
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contract I saun with him? Now I gotta get back up. I gotta
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keep doing I can't. I can't stop now, gotta keep moving, gotta
16:45
keep going. Sometimes I walk like little thing like I walk my headphones in
16:52
a song, come on them, like I wasn't listening to the song,
16:56
but it's like it's that message. Sometimes it be man, fuck shit,
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I ain't doing it. And then I go on TikTok and then it's a
17:03
video that motivates me like like damn, I can't give up. It's God
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reminded me like I brought you back for a reason. You can't go back
17:12
on your You can't go back on the deal. Now, it ain't a
17:17
death row illuminati that people might want to make it seen. But it's like,
17:22
like I brought you back for a reason, not to me people getting
17:25
shot in the leg and die. Yeah, I hit twice in the head,
17:26
So absolutely, bro, I brought you head to it for you to
17:30
be my voice. Yeah, so you got to make your job, keep
17:36
it going. I remember last time we were having this conversation, you was
17:41
kind of explaining to me. He was explaining to me about how frustrating it
17:47
was getting adjusted to this new way of life. And you were explaining to
17:49
me how as you were trying to get adjusted to all of this stuff,
17:56
you were really angry, and you, being angry started to change the way
18:00
your relationship used to used to be with your girl. And you were telling
18:04
me that your girl was your she's your best friend. But when you were
18:07
trying to get used to this new life, like it was harder for you
18:12
to be that same person that she once knew because you it was it was
18:15
hard for you to get adjusted to all of this. Yeah. One of
18:19
the things that you were telling me is that she didn't want to be with
18:23
you again because you had changed. Do you tell me about that. It's
18:33
the crazy thing about it is like we fake had an argument. It's like
18:37
it's not even the fact that I like, you know, let's be together,
18:41
it's the fact for you to accept I wasn't a person that you knew.
18:45
So it's it's like if a person high on drugs and everything, you
18:52
know, this ain't that person acting now acting crazy? How can you hold
18:56
them responsible for what they do? That's how you feel, That's how I
19:00
feel. So it's like I felt like I was you laid like you laying
19:06
next to me, someone that you love, consider like your best friend,
19:08
you everything. But I'm a different person. So it's like you you forgot
19:17
who I once was because it's like this monster took over and you are you
19:22
saying that you would have liked for her to still see the better party?
19:27
Like, are you saying that you would have liked her to give you some
19:32
grace for what you was going through? Is that what you're doing? Yeah,
19:33
don't forget who I was. Yeah, even though you wasn't acting like
19:37
that guy you was, It's like you it's like, be based on lifeful
19:41
for me being a monster? Right? Yeah? People, Oh you're not.
19:45
I was a monster. Like understand that I was wildent, tweaking,
19:48
angry, didn't care who I hurt because I was hurt, So why should
19:52
I kid if you hurt taking pills. I'm drinking. I didn't care about
19:57
nothing. It's like I'm just waiting for my DA to punch out. Yeah,
20:00
you were telling me that you at some point you actually got addicted to
20:03
pills Perks. She's number my pain. He is my pain, and it
20:08
was it was better for everybody because now I want to Perk. I'm not
20:11
worried about what you're doing because I'm so high over here. I ain't tripping.
20:15
But when I come off that perk, your body start hurting. You
20:18
can see the dumbest ship and I'm snapping. Your body start hurting. It's
20:22
like a like a side effect. Perks take the ships hurt, you gotta
20:27
pop another one. You feel out high again. That's how people get addicted
20:32
to him. Yeah, I remember one time, because it's like you constantly
20:36
in pain, even you probably not even in pain, but you feel like
20:37
you're in pain. You need it. I got my appendance removed. I
20:42
wanted that pain. I needed the pills. That's why you got the pills
20:47
in the first place, because you had your appending. Remove gave it when
20:49
I first got when I got the perks, I got shot. That's why
20:52
they gave it you. They sent me home with them, so the appendings
20:56
removed. That's a whole different, separate thing. I was taking oxes on
20:59
my appendence. The shit had me feel like I was working on the clouds,
21:02
and that's why they removed your appendance because of the Oxyes, my appendance
21:07
was flared up, so they had to do emergency surgery because if it would
21:11
have burst, I would have died. The poison would have went through my
21:12
body. Now, mind you, this ship is four months in between me
21:17
get shot. That's what I was about to say, So damn So I
21:18
said that. I said, damn God, you ain't giving me no breaks
21:21
at all. I got shot at April, taking my appendance out in August.
21:26
I love my mother in there, I'm crying. I'm like, y'all,
21:29
I'm ready to give the funk up. It's like, what the fuck
21:32
did I do to God that I'm going through this ship. I just got
21:33
shot down my appendance just like I'm in there, and they were like,
21:37
yo, how long you just let me been hurt. I said, just
21:40
last night, and it ain't nowhere in the hell. It' still started hurting
21:44
last night and it's flared up like this, Yeah, because they like the
21:47
way we looking at the way we seeing this ship. Nigga, this shit
21:48
been bad. Yeah, And I'm like, nah, just last night,
21:52
Wow, flared up. I'm like, Didna, this shit is different.
21:56
I said, what the fuck? Like, I'm you're breaking me down and
21:59
re build me how you want me to rebuild? I was angry at the
22:03
world. Came home. They sent me home with oxis. Man, they
22:07
didn't know what they did with my oxy in the room. I started spassing
22:10
on everybody, cursing everybody out, and they're like, yo, we're just
22:12
trying to help you. Help me is finding them pills, take them pills.
22:18
Once them pills got in my system, I laid down and he drugged.
22:22
I just laid down. He was good again, good to go.
22:26
I used to get mad, come in and looking for my stuff, can't
22:27
find it. They could just clean up my room, fold my clothes up.
22:30
I'm throwing everything on the floor. I ain't give a fuck. Yeah,
22:33
that's another You're really good at recounting this story, because again, like,
22:38
I'm going over the notes based off the last conversation we had, and
22:41
one of the things that I really want you to tap into is you were
22:45
telling me that your girl would clean up and then you would throw shit back
22:49
on the floor after she just cleaned. It. Didn't care. It was
22:56
and it wasn't like a nasty I don't care. It is like you trying
23:02
to tap into the dog when I'm trying to get out this shit, right,
23:04
So it was like we in two different worlds. Stop pushing me back
23:08
into this dark hole when I'm trying to get the fuck to the light where
23:11
you at. And the thing is she was trying to understand she was trying
23:15
to help you. She thought she was helping you by doing that, so
23:18
she turned the lights off and shit like that to try to get closer to
23:21
you in some kind of way. Everybody did right blindfold theyself cry, walked
23:26
down the whole way cry. I said, yeah, y'all, but y'all
23:30
crying for that second. The many take that blondfold off, you can see
23:33
it again. What I don't understand why they would have a blindfold on,
23:37
though, Like, what was that like to feel what I was going through?
23:40
Right? It's like, you know, sometimes you try to put yourself
23:42
in that person's shoot to see like why they're so angry, Like what it
23:47
is? Like, Yeah, you know you lost your vision, but what
23:49
is it to this? Some people can washing the dog? Yeah they really.
23:55
You think about it, like the blackout, everybody went crazy when there
23:59
was no electricity all. Like I got no electricity at all, and it's
24:03
twelve years. That blackout only lasted for what a day? Twelve years?
24:07
So it's like trying to keep conscious of that, like keep your nerves together
24:12
to say, I can't go crazy today. I can't go crazy today.
24:17
Can't go crazy today that you gotta keep reminding yourself, can't go crazy today,
24:22
just moving on with life. Life. Life is a bad way every
24:25
day. People don't understand that. Wow, Like I have more arguments trying
24:32
to show people that I was not that person that you that I was when
24:37
I got shot. Yeah that's what. I don't care about the relationships.
24:41
I don't care about sleeping, I don't care about none of that. But
24:45
just see me for who I once was, not who I became. Yea
24:48
all that. Yeah the bullshit, it's like you wanted me to to maintain
24:53
to be the same person when I didn't even know who the fuck I was
24:56
at that point the time I done spased on my siblings, all of them.
25:02
You told me you punched your friend. Yeah. My cousin puss him
25:06
in his mouth, choked my sister. I told my old my sister,
25:10
that's under me. I feel like break on my face. My little brother,
25:12
I choked him, had him on the floor to pick up my phone.
25:15
Wow. I put my hands my child, mother my eggs like I
25:18
was tweaking. I don't think the only person that could really come over and
25:22
stop me is my mom's what would your mom don I just couldn't talk once
25:27
she told her my grandmother, I mean my grandfather. He talked to me.
25:32
It's like I just calmed down. He calmed down all that. I
25:34
just see rad Wow, like when I'm when I was hyped up, pumped
25:40
up. Nah, I go back to the day I got shot. I
25:42
can't let nobody hurt me, not knowing like nigga is your siblings. This
25:47
shit cousin is like, like they not here to hurt you. Then me
25:52
and my cousin was fighting, my grandmother trying to grab me in the first
25:56
thing that came to my mom. Y'are trying to joke me. So what
25:59
I did? My cousin in the bathroom cleaned his mouth. I'm like,
26:00
I'm not finished, not finished. I'm like, come look outside fight.
26:06
I'm walking out the door. They closed the door and let me know away.
26:11
My mother came't like what was going on, but I was so pumped
26:14
up. I wasn't finished. I wasn't finished because in my mom, you
26:18
got the best of me that time. Yeah, around two and last time
26:21
somebody got the best of you. You lost your vision. So it's like,
26:25
I would never let a person get that edge over me again. Wow,
26:27
if I feel like a person gonna do, I'm swinging first because you
26:30
don't got time to waste. You can't can't make that. I ain't let
26:33
nobody get that close to me again. It's over. You can tell the
26:37
difference when I'm in the studio and relaxed, but when I'm outside, my
26:41
posture is different. Like people will see it, like I I can tell
26:47
the where he's staying, I can tell the way he moved, where he
26:48
looked. They won't try that nigga right there. It's different. A lot
26:53
of people don't know. I can't even see. It's like you bumped me.
26:59
You you like you hitting the wall. I'm tighten up when I walked,
27:04
So it's like I'm two thirty. I could do something with this.
27:08
I could do something to try it. You're definitely bigger than me. Bro,
27:14
I ain't never been to thirty. Yeah, everything about I was one
27:17
ninety. I got shot, I went down to one forty, came home.
27:22
I said, nah, I'm walking. The wind is blowing me.
27:23
I said, nah, I can't. I can't win. You can feel
27:26
the wind like, yeah, pushing me, pushing your frame, clothes falling
27:30
off me. And I said, nah, I feel too light. I
27:32
don't like this. Yeah, it's not I need. I need, Yeah,
27:34
the eyes out of my head. They gave me steel rods to put
27:37
it there. I just took advantage. Cool, I'm taking the still roads.
27:41
I'm gonna work out with it, Start getting my way back, start
27:44
feeling good. The next thing you know, it's just like eating you laying
27:48
down. You ain't doing nothing. The weight just start hitting. Wait,
27:51
what was the what were they giving you the steroids for? Originally for my
27:53
eyes to go back inside, to go back inside of your Yeah, the
27:56
bullets pushed my eyes out of my head. So the steroid was helping your
28:00
eyes stay in place. That steroids pushing my eyes back and so my eye
28:03
lies. My eye lids could close. Oh wow, my eye lids was
28:07
open. So they always put like cream and drop ointment so it can stay
28:12
moist. Wow. They was out of my head. Now they're back in
28:18
place. How long did you have to text steroids gave it to me.
28:21
It was like two weeks worth a day, one a day, and you
28:26
just working. I was just working out with it. Then it's like I
28:30
started getting my weight. Then I just started eating, sleeping, drinking.
28:34
It's like, yeah, the weight came on. It is like God,
28:38
damn, now I'm trying to lose it. That's crazy. I feel heavier.
28:42
This is the heaviest I've been. Like, I feel heavy. I
28:45
gotta get rid of this shit. God, I went from my large to
28:48
extra large. I'm like, Noah, gotta get rid of this shit.
28:52
This weight off of me, this waight off me. When when you were
28:56
you said something a minute ago that like that really resonated me with we really
29:00
deeply. You said you got shot and then four months later you had to
29:06
get a surgery and like when you said that, bro, like that shit
29:11
just it shook me because in my mind I'm thinking the same thing you thinking.
29:15
I'm like, yo, like God, what's up? Can't get a
29:18
break? Like, Yo, what's up with you? Like, ain't you
29:19
supposed to be God? Yo? Like this, Like what I went through
29:23
wasn't traumatic enough. At that point, I had gave up on God.
29:29
I said, Nah, it's like being you at Wallah at that time.
29:32
I used to tell you, I say, yo, like I understand y'all,
29:36
y'all believe in God and all this, but a lot of devil was
29:38
whipping gone ass right now because I'm getting my ass whip right now, Like
29:42
what's going on? Oh, put your faith in God, but I'm getting
29:47
my ass whip right now. Did it ever make you question if God was
29:49
real? Yeah? I always question it. Now I don't. It's like
29:55
I'm still here. So it's like, but I question a lot of things.
29:57
Yeah, how could you not? Though I don't even think saying question
30:02
God? Yeah, like I was about to say, I think there's there's
30:07
certain types, certain religious types of people, and it's not to talk down
30:11
on them, but I think they would hear you say that, and they
30:12
would like the face up. Yeah, they would rebuttle your question and be
30:17
like, how could you question God? But it's like, but honestly speaking,
30:19
though, I just almost lost my life in a real way to flip
30:23
the question and say what have you ever been through that you? Yeah,
30:27
that you wouldn't question? Yeah, to the point where you got you get
30:30
pushed the questioning God. Some people never went through nothing that they had no
30:34
reason to question them. That's true. I just passed my EMT, but
30:38
they going to the EMT Academy. It got shot, That's true. I
30:41
had a whole career going on and I got shot. So why I cannot
30:47
question them? Twenty one years old? How can I not question them?
30:52
Just like when you look at the news, it's like when you see these
30:55
innocent kids, like what do they do to deserve a lot of this shit
30:57
that's going on? Yeah? How you and not question him? Yeah?
31:02
It's like no, I mean I don't feel nothing wrong with questioning it.
31:06
Do you think God looks down on us for questioning him? I feel like
31:11
he shouldn't. If it is, if it, if it's in a Bible
31:15
that said he looked down on you by questioning him. I feel you shouldn't.
31:18
I just that's just my opinion. Yeah, how you questioning I'm your
31:22
child, I should be able to cry. I question my mom. I
31:25
questioned my mama when she do certain things like I questioned like that that I
31:29
feel like when you question them, donated supposed to make your bond and your
31:33
relationship stronger. That makes sense to me, That's what I'm saying. How
31:36
would you know how a person feel if you don't question them, especially because
31:42
again, it's like the situation that you went through is most people would never
31:47
go through. They'll never know what that's like like to a lot of people.
31:51
Most people to die on that floor, the man, to a lot
31:53
of people their worst day, you won't even compare, won't even be one
31:57
fifth of what that day was. And then now only did you survive that
32:00
and you got through that, but then four months later you gotta go.
32:04
You don't even want to see a hospital, You don't want to see no
32:07
doctors in the damn hospital. Then you have to go back like stayed in
32:10
the damn hospital. Pendance fucked up in there. Man, different shit,
32:15
How do you how do you get to a place where you make peace?
32:20
With God when you got when you just feel like everything is falling apart,
32:24
how long does it take for you to make peace with God? Not for
32:29
none? It's like I'm training when I hit the floor to get back up.
32:34
So it's like I don't put it in God his no more. I
32:37
looked at it like you bought me this far. I could take it the
32:39
rest of the way. M my son healthy. I ain't cool. I'm
32:44
good Like if if you got to shower with Him with all the blessings that
32:49
are I supposed to be having, I'm cool with that. But it's like
32:52
I just I feel like something not for nothing. I feel like some people
32:55
just make the God think as an excuse to life a lot of things.
33:00
To be honest, Oh, I feel like God, God give me to
33:02
sign on. God got to push me. That starts with you. It
33:07
start with you. Sometimes you could be waiting for God forever to give you
33:10
that push. Yeah, that's real. Somewhere in the Bible will say,
33:15
I like, I know a lot of scripture because I heard it growing up
33:17
in the church, but I don't. I can't. I can't tell you
33:20
where to actually going and find it. But somewhere in the Bible will say
33:22
faith without works is dead. Yeah, so you send them. They ain't
33:25
for God to push you, but you're not doing the work. What says
33:28
did that make? Yeah? I keep moving, keep I keep myself motivated,
33:34
I keep myself moving. Anything that God put them on the table,
33:37
I appreciate it, Like this is the blessing for me to this How you
33:39
rewarded me for doing the work. I'm not set up there letting God just
33:43
drop everything in my life. Be honest, i'd be. I might be
33:45
waiting forever on God time. You're not promised tomorrow. So I'm gonna make
33:52
every day that I am on this earth for count every second. Make this
33:55
shit count. Like Walla said, some ship like on the tolling Stone they
34:00
got the day you was born and day you died. But dad dash,
34:04
I'm gonna make that ship break dance. But they're gonna they definitely gonna have
34:07
to put a fucking Bible out of this ship. I did. But when
34:12
I leave this HURF, I know I'm doe for a street. That's why
34:19
I was saying, like you know you you you texted me and you were
34:23
saying, like, y'all, I'm gonna be in Atlanta at this date and
34:27
for a festival, and if you want to come, I got a extra
34:29
ticket for you. And like the reason why, Like I'm feeling conflicted because
34:32
I'm kind of like damn, like I feel like I gotta work, you
34:36
know, I gotta do this, I gotta do that. But like even
34:37
listening to you talk right now, like essentially what you're saying is like I
34:42
understand why it's important to enjoy life and then not for that, sometimes you
34:45
gott jump out the window opportunity. It's more opportunities out there waiting for you.
34:50
Man, you could be missing an opportunity by being in here on that
34:52
day. Never know, that's a fact. Bro. You know how to
34:57
do the person right, y'all need you out here in Atlanta? Oh what
35:01
doing white? Now? You you running a big ass podcast, getting into
35:06
some whole other ship. Now different different. Now we need you have power
35:10
of Now, we need you have black effect. We need you to cut
35:13
up these clips. Now, we need you to be to produce this,
35:15
this, this this right now, that one flight opened up like ten dollars
35:21
for you. Now you can't miss that. You can't going to Atlanta,
35:27
mother, Like, oh, who's gonna go with you said, then I
35:30
thought about it. I my sister. I can depend on how I'll get
35:34
Fuck. I pay for our flights in the hotel. We're out. Yeah,
35:37
we're out. I don't worry about it. Just make sure you just
35:38
bring an outfit. Were out because I know she's gonna do the work.
35:42
I bring flyers out there. She's gonna walk around the past them ships out.
35:45
Yeah. We hit a network. Yeah, we hit to work like
35:47
cunting my parties who have my dog. She is collecting my money at the
35:52
end of the night. She putting the money together. These twenty, these
35:54
hundreds, we sent their counter together. We pay everybody. Alright, cool,
35:59
we're out. When you hear about people who they have their site,
36:05
they have their everything. These are fully able people. They can there's nothing
36:08
holding them back physically. But you hear about people being lazy. Shit pissed
36:15
me off the most because how you let all go to waste. Mm hmm,
36:20
I'm here, I'm out here. You no lie being disabled, You
36:23
you gotta work ten times harder, right when it's like you don't got no
36:27
excuses to do shit, Like some people fill out the application online and feel
36:30
like they did something like nigga, did you get your ass up and go
36:35
to the store and see if you can get a job. Some people let
36:38
their private like get the best of them that they can't feel like they can't
36:42
work at McDonald's. But you could pick up the foe to ask me for
36:45
a dollar. How did that work? Man? I feel like that they're
36:51
just a waste. It's like, put yourself in my shoes. Let me
36:53
see how you canna handle it. Because I do anything just to see it
36:57
again. I think around probably had two jobs right now, like really,
37:04
but matter of fact, I take that back. If I could see it
37:07
again, I would not work for nobody though. Yeah, I still do
37:10
what I'm doing. I'll just be ten times better because I had to be
37:14
ten times I had to work ten times harder to get where I'm at now.
37:16
Yeah, now me singeing. Now, with this mentality, I got
37:21
gonna be dangerous. Do you think that the way that you work, even
37:27
with your disability, Like you work so hard though you know what I mean,
37:30
and you're so consistent with your passion and your hustle. Do you think
37:32
your son watching you do all that is teaching him how to be a hard
37:37
working man? Yeah? I get on his nerves too, like you think
37:39
it's gonna give him an advantage over his classmates. He competitive. Now,
37:45
yeah, my son is a hustler. It's like I'm like, yo,
37:49
do this for me, and it's like I'm getting on his nerves. But
37:53
I could throw twenty hours on the table, send these messages, he is
37:58
said, there and send sixty just for that twenty hours just to get pizza.
38:02
Not you're free. You gotta work for this. But he learned how
38:05
that the importance of iron early. Yeah, he's spent my money before he
38:09
spend his. I don't know he got money in his bank account, but
38:14
like that's what you put into him. Ain't not gonna come free. Been
38:16
in the honor row for seven years, now nighting coming free? You want
38:21
these Jonkans, show me you going to school, doing what you gotta do.
38:23
That's working. Now. I reward you with your paycheck. Here your
38:29
jobs. Hear these pans here is it's like, God, do what you
38:34
gotta do. You're doing your job. I do my job. Yeah,
38:37
I mean, you do your job. I reward you. You get just
38:39
your paycheck. Ain't nothing coming free, because really and truly I don't have
38:45
to buy you this stuff, right, I just got to make sure you
38:47
eat and got clothes on your back. Right, you don't have to be
38:51
that at the top of the line. The ain't brand none of that.
38:53
Do you Do you ever feel like you can hear what people not saying through
38:58
their tone of voice. Yeah, on his bullshit. I know when people
39:01
is really for me, Like he shout out to my son Castro before I
39:07
even like we got in tuned with each other with the parties. I just
39:10
like his energy stuck with me. So he was having a birthday party coming
39:16
up. We just seen each other. We just like, what up keeping
39:19
pushing. He came in the club. I said, yo, bro,
39:21
make me a flyer, a whole flyer for what your party like? How
39:24
much you want? I want nothing? He loved, you want nothing,
39:29
but everybody else hold about giving him a bottle and this money. I don't
39:31
one night. And why I'm building a bridge. I don't care about it.
39:37
Like people think about the now, they don't think about the future.
39:40
Nah, we building bridges. This bridge right here could go a long way.
39:45
Let me see how by me wanting to build his bridge, you on
39:50
the other side, let me see if you're gonna give me the same energy
39:52
too. Once the energy was recycled reciprocated. Nah, you're my dog for
39:57
life. Now, hey, count the money. Let how much it was.
40:00
I could even know that you're gonna count the money and it's gonna be
40:04
right. Oh, for the type of person you are. Hm, that's
40:07
something big will d rock. We're dealing with the money. Yo. This
40:13
niggain't blind. He could count the bread you. So you put that trust
40:16
in me that your money gonna be right. Nah, y'all my dogs for
40:20
life. We locked in. Then there's some people that I just hear the
40:24
tone in their voice and in the back of my mind and my faces.
40:28
Persons tell it all. My sister text me, fix your face. I'm
40:32
like this bullshit or they talking out to percent of the y'all hear you,
40:37
Well, I'll be right back, bro. You burning my ears with bullshit?
40:44
You can just you can just hear, and they just like the vibration,
40:47
the tone. It's like, this is not my person, it's not
40:50
my type. Being a club and I'm next to a speaker, you're still
40:52
there trying to talk to me, to explain something to me, to try
40:55
to convince me to do something. It's bullshit. That's how I look at
41:00
it. Why because you're gonna wait to I'm in a better predicament to really
41:07
hear what you gotta say, to tell me what you instead of telling me
41:10
over music, knowing that I'm battling trying to really hear what you're saying.
41:15
Damn. That's fucking realist. Fun when you when you talking to somebody and
41:19
the music is a loud you can see and you can see, you can
41:22
see their mouth, so you know, like what they're saying, but I
41:25
can't see. So it's like you're trying to convince me over loud music.
41:30
Nah, it's bullshit. So you take it as like deception, Yeah,
41:32
like you're trying to you're trying to fuck me over, trying to deceive me.
41:36
Yeah, So the next day you're like, oh, bro, you
41:38
said as such. I'm a man of my words. If I say,
41:42
I'm a stand on it. So I ain't. I ain't signing no contracts
41:45
over no music. First of all, don't talk to me while I'm working.
41:49
You ain't comeing and to put money in my hand for a bottle.
41:51
Don't talk to me while I'm working, right, because you're trying to throw
41:53
me off, right, talk to me when we got free time? Hit
41:57
me up Instagram. But you all got it. My numbers on the flyers
42:02
who don't got it call me you listen, bro, this is a proposition
42:06
I got. That's a better time and let's talk. Nah. Some people
42:12
know they fucked up and come and get me paid. Like, yo,
42:13
bro, what's up? I play it off? Regular ain't shit, Bro,
42:16
I'm trying to be like you can I get money with you? And
42:20
that's my sarcastic way. Is looking like saying that I would never sit down
42:22
and get money with you. Again. People don't understand that I'm sarcasting.
42:27
Oh you no, I did this this like you're trying to play me because
42:30
you feel like I can't see. I'm like, I'm a cash app you.
42:34
I got all this money in my pocket. Why do I got to
42:35
cash app you? I could have just went in my pocket and paid you.
42:38
Now, when I said I'm a cash app you, I mean I'm
42:39
giving you bullshit because you're trying to You're trying to hit me with bullshit.
42:45
Then you say, oh, notes I don't respond. I don't gotta respond,
42:49
like be real with me. I feel like your word is everything.
42:51
You real with me? Man, we could go to we go to the
42:52
morning back. Let me ask you this do you do you have? This
43:00
is an interesting one. Do you have a favorite memory since you haven't had
43:04
your vision in these twelve years, do you have a favorite memory, like
43:07
some one of your best moments since you since you haven't had your sight,
43:12
something that when you reflect on it, it makes you feel good, makes
43:15
you smile. That goes back when I took my son into the park for
43:19
the first time and put him on the swing m and just he laughed and
43:22
pushing him back and forth. Stick with me because it's like I went out
43:27
being the father. I lost my vision being the father. So it's like
43:31
that makes me go even harder being a father now. And when you reflect
43:35
on that moment, I see when I see it, when I can see
43:37
his face in that swing, say to myself, is a reason for me
43:40
to be here? That's my reason? Be checking out felling on him?
43:45
No, I can't do that. That's my reason. It's your reason.
43:49
Yeah, that's my purpose. That's the only reason you need. That's the
43:52
only reason I need. Wow him, I could go get the world and
43:58
know or that I could win. Wow, I'm that confident man. I
44:02
got him behind me on nobody else. I go against the world. Wow.
44:07
We be good to go. We locked in and we just go from
44:10
there. Wow. Oh yeah, bro, that's amazing. Bro for real,
44:20
let me ask you some just completely random ship now. Okay, So
44:22
do you ever go swimming? Yeah? I still What the fuck is it
44:25
like being in the water, Like, what is that life for you?
44:29
Scary? It's scary, like swimming blind? It is scary. Explain that,
44:35
help us and bring us into your world real quick. All right.
44:37
I ain't getting the ocean swimming. That's too open for me. Yeah for
44:42
sure. But in the pool it's like I feel like I'm swimming into a
44:49
dark lake, dark cave because it's dark. You don't know where you're swimming
44:54
too. Yeah, you don't really have it. It's hard to have a
44:57
truth. And you can't hear underwater. I can't. Oh, I ain't
45:01
thinking about that. The only thing I say, I'm like, when you
45:06
swimming before my eyes open? Swimming now like its ducks. It's like if
45:09
I'm drowning. So it's like your mind is playing tricks on you. Oh
45:14
wow, I'm drowning. I'm swimming like I'm floating. Can I breathe?
45:19
It's like all that should go into place because you really, I guess the
45:22
only sense that you have to depend on is your touch. So it's like
45:27
if you like, yeah, right, but you can't grab nothing, so
45:30
you really just like rather push me in the water than I thought I was
45:34
dying? Like how you dying at four feet? Stand up? You don't
45:37
really know that somebody who told you to push me in the water? Bro
45:43
Right now, let me ease my way in the water, right, I
45:45
ain't nah if you depending on me to save you falling over? Somebody got
45:52
live to tell the story, and it's gonna be me. I'm not wasting
45:57
my life to try to No, it's quiet for that. I can't.
46:00
I can't do it. S I'm gonna steal a tape of Nigga man be
46:04
getting Can I get some floaties? Fuck that? Like even going on like
46:09
going away the excursions. I want to jump off cliffs and ship but then
46:15
my my mind is what, like I survived three bullets, I'm gonna DoD
46:22
jumping off a cliff. You have to jump over. Yeah, I feel
46:25
it's a life jacket. Yeah, I see you. Yeah, it's just
46:30
certain ship. It's like I'm good, my life, My life is thrill
46:34
enough. Oh it's people down there. If anything, the water is shallow
46:38
people one. When I'm jumping, it's a long it's a long way down
46:44
because it's like you don't know when you're gonna hit the water yet. So
46:46
it's like my heart fucking around might stop before I hit the water. Like
46:52
it hurt harder. It hurts more when you get hit unexpected. Yeah,
46:58
I oppose when you can see the point you preparing and so forward, So
47:01
if somebody punch you or I can't see it, it hurts me more.
47:07
I think I remember one time you were explaining to me that your version of
47:13
seeing people is you can see they shadow. Can you explain that a little
47:17
bit, like help bring us into your world or like what what is that?
47:21
If you could explain it as best you could, Like shadow, it's
47:24
like it's not the figure. You just see a like black a black dot,
47:30
a black dot. When they moving you can see the movements and all
47:35
that. You know, when they moving left, they moving right right,
47:37
like different things outside, Like when it's real bright outside, you got a
47:43
better pitch off the shadow you might see the structure of they body. It
47:47
ain't exactly yeah, but what it is, but it's good enough. It's
47:52
good enough. You know you're dealing with a person. I know when somebody
47:55
walking towards me, it is like if we even if you was trying to
48:01
approach me on that type of time, and I don't know exactly where you
48:05
at, but I see that shadow you at least know you gotta I'm going
48:09
off that boy like I play fight in the house with my son. I
48:13
hear I can hear you breathing when I'm locked in. I can hear you
48:15
breathing to a point I know where you're at. And then I'm gonna get
48:21
so close to you that you're gonna feel uncomfortable. I got you now,
48:23
Yeah, because they in their mind they'd be like, yo, highest nigger
48:28
keeping up with me. How he's staying with me. I'm trying to move
48:31
around, and it's like he own it. But it's like even with that,
48:36
it's like you got to bring people into your world or of trying to
48:39
fight the fight, and they were now you know, open space, they
48:44
got you. But if you up close and they really don't got no movements
48:47
and they boxed in. Now they they fighting your fight. Now you don't
48:52
got but so much to move. But I know what I could do.
48:58
It's over if you for all the people that's listening here, if you could
49:07
give them some advice or some wisdom maybe something. Maybe you know, they
49:15
going through their life and they complaining about and we complain about it. That's
49:17
what we do as human beings, right. But once we hear somebody else's
49:22
story, and once we realize that somebody else is carrying a whole different type
49:25
of way that we can never understand, sometimes it humbles us and then like
49:28
it grounds us and make us understand, Like all right, let me stop
49:31
bitching, you know what I mean? Because shit could be different. What
49:35
advice as we as we come into a close what advice would you give somebody
49:39
to help them realize that there's a brighter side of things and maybe their life
49:44
is not as bad as they think it is. Focus on the good,
49:46
need a negative in the past. It's like people gonna wake up Monday thinking
49:52
about wappings Sunday knowing that you guys, Tuesday in front of you, you
49:59
got Wednesday in front of you, got Thursday in front of you, got
50:00
Friday in front of you, got sat in front of you. Damn,
50:04
damn, damn Sunday again. It's why the fuck I'm focusing on what happened
50:07
twenty four hours ago? Right, people wake up and the first thing they
50:13
oh, damn. I didn't like the way that person said this. I
50:15
didn't like the way that person did this. I didn't like the way this
50:17
happened. I staid to thank God. Damn. You ain't even think God
50:21
that you woke up today. Yeah, you ain't even thank God that you
50:23
got vision. You ain't think God that you could if he could hit that
50:28
floor. You ain't think God that you got a job, you got a
50:30
roof over your head, you got food in your frigerator. It's people that's
50:32
waking up tomorrow without none of that shit. It's some people that's not waking
50:37
up at all. So what is we tripping over? I feel like a
50:40
lot of shit we complaining about it. It don't make no sense to complain.
50:45
I can't stay mad at person, wow, because I know how life,
50:49
how shure life is. So even if you fucked me over, you
50:52
did me wrong, I'm not gonna stay mad at you because golf of b
50:54
it is how happened to you? Is it is gonna hurt me, It's
50:57
gonna affect me. I got a relationship with you. But what I'm mad
51:00
about shit that happened yesterday or last week, or even two or three years
51:04
ago. I put that shit behind me. Why it's going to kill you
51:07
even more knowing that I'm not mad at you. So it's like my advice
51:13
that I give people is stop complaining and run a race, because the shit
51:17
you complain about might be mine. And shit, it's people out here that
51:22
don't know when they next Miller is. It's people out here that's blonde but
51:27
don't got the proper courage, health courage, people that's in wheelchairs that live
51:35
a life, and you walk in and you miserable or something is wrong.
51:39
You know. Sometimes, bro, it's funny because in a lot of ways,
51:45
though you might not be able to physically see, in a lot of
51:47
ways, you actually see what actually needs to be seen, and sometimes people
51:52
with vision don't see at all. Well, I look at it like shout
51:57
out to Frenchy. I see Frenchie moving moving. A couple other people that
52:01
are bumping to on TikTok and Instagram, they moving and it's like we really
52:08
guide disabilities that can really funck us over and hold us back because like little
52:15
shit, what if that sensor rite never comes for frenchie? She missed the
52:21
whole podcast episode. Right when you have the ability to go on and train,
52:29
to take a cab to do different shit, you still complaining. Now,
52:34
we're making the best out of it. We're working ten times harder to
52:36
get where we're at. So why is if we're not tripping? Why the
52:38
fuck is you tripping? Some people are lay down on the couch or day
52:43
and complain, complain and complaining. It's like, what did you do to
52:45
make your life better? I don't know. I don't I feel like they
52:51
have disabled people. We're not disabled. We're doing it. I'm making more.
52:58
I'm making more money than a lot of people, really and truly,
53:00
and I'm disabled on it and you home waiting for a job. Noah,
53:07
what are you good at? They don't even know. You can't fix it,
53:12
doll, You can't even toast toast nigga, You who you're mad at,
53:16
be mad at yourself. But people who understand that, those be the
53:22
ones that pick up your bottle. And I don't got nothing to give to
53:24
it mm hmm. But it's like, what are you trying to do to
53:28
get to it? Mm hmm. Yo, you know, can I can
53:31
you see at the club or let me clean up after? Nah? But
53:37
you quick to ask me for a dollar? Right, Like, I give
53:40
you this dollar, how get it back? You're not trying. You're not
53:45
trying to like straighten your life out. So why should I? Why should
53:49
I be in a jam with you? Nah? They have read disabled people.
53:54
I don't feel sorry for those people. Mm hmm. People like that's
54:00
got relocated and all like cool. I reach out, like I see homeless
54:07
people. People always ask so why are you giving them money? You don't
54:09
know what they're doing. Once I give them them money, whatever they do
54:14
after that is out of my hands. Yeah, I did my part.
54:16
I'm blessed for what I just did. I hope they do the right thing
54:21
for it. But at the end of the day, I'm not mad what
54:22
they do because it's out of my hands. Or we go through the drive
54:25
through, I'm hungry. I ain't gonna give you no money. But do
54:30
you want to mail? Yeah? I order what you want? Oh,
54:34
can I get a solder this day? Yeah? Why cause this might be
54:37
your last meal for the week. Yeah. When me, I'm waking up
54:42
to like graces where I can open up infigerator is food there? So like
54:47
why would I put that down? That person down? So I live life?
54:54
Do you never know when it's gonna be your day to go for the
54:57
worst? Yeah, life, take chances, put yourself out there to win.
55:04
And the curry thing about that, I said this ship, and it's
55:08
like I just put it out there and this ship, the impressions that came
55:10
back off of what I said, don't be scared to fail, be scared
55:14
to win. That should have fuck a lot of people up. That should
55:19
have go with a lot of people had. Don't be scared to fail,
55:22
be scared to win. And when you fail, you'll have so many friends
55:29
because you're down at the bottom with them. But the menue you win,
55:31
you're gonna start losing people. Be scared to win. You might not know
55:37
how to deal with that being at the time by yourself. I'm prepared for
55:40
that shit. That's real, bro, Yeah, that's real. I really
55:45
hope people hear what you're saying. With that. It's like, man,
55:50
you can have vision and still be blind, you know, what I mean,
55:52
So like the real crime is like having everything you need and still not
55:55
doing nothing with it. It's a lot of blond people out here that with
56:00
vision. No, it's a lot of blond people out here with sight.
56:05
That's what it is. I got vision. I'm blind with vision. That's
56:10
one thing. They took my site, but they didn't take my vision.
56:15
The vision got me on this couch, The vision taking me to Atlanta,
56:20
the vision throwing successful parties. That's vision. That wasn't a sight that did.
56:27
The site was me moving around me taking that EMT test, riding right
56:31
in that end, like setting my life up. How the world want your
56:35
life to be set up? Nah? My vision got me as an entrepreneur
56:39
good credit and people like y'are you blind? Like what you need good credit
56:45
for? That's the nah. I'm breaking that one percent cycle. Ain't no
56:51
millionaires in my family. I'm gonna be the first breaking all barriers, and
56:58
hopefully my son can be right behind me to be this second. He definitely
57:01
will bro He definitely will, definitely will. I'm gonna put my feet on
57:06
his neck if he ain't. Like I said this out, I built this
57:09
impires on my son can running office, so I'm doing it. That was
57:16
beautiful in the office. Now that's beautiful. Bro. Yeah, bro,
57:21
this was great. Man. Another episode, another episode of block ban see
57:24
podcast Shout out to Wealth. We locked in, We locked in. Here
57:29
we go blind stuff, but we out