Latest / Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge / Diamonds in the Rough: Dear Diamonds…

Transcript

Diamonds in the Rough: Dear Diamonds… · Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hi, guys, welcome to another episode of Diamonds in the
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Rough with myself.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: And I'm Erica Jane.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: I forgot with myself my name afterwards, No, I no, guys,
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: I decided to come as dear Abby. I'm actually I'm
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: Sally Jesse Raphael.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: I love Sally Jesse.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Listen, well, who are you?
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: I don't know?
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Guys. Essentially, we just really couldn't get our shit together today,
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: but we decided we'd be the perfect time to give.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: You guys advice, right, so move help for dear Abby
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: because it's Dear Diamonds and we're going to give out
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: some advice you've written to us. We're going to take
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: a few of your questions and give our I don't
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: know if we should be giving advice.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: I mean, maybe we should write in and ask people
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: to give us.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: I already do for free, I know, and I don't
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: need that.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: We don't want it. But apparently a lot of you guys,
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: I don't know, why aren't.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: You tired of people giving you cancer advice?
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: I'm so listen, I'm so sick of doing cancer press
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: cancer advice. Yea, me and cancer are not simpatico anymore.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: No, it's just a silver It's.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: I'm moving on. I want to get onto other people's.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: Problems just real quick. I'm wearing these because I have
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: allergies and I want to pluck my eye out, so
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: it's just swollen under here.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: Well I was wearing mine, but then it was hurting
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: because it was pushing behind my ear on the wig.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: So now I'm just you know, I'm up next. I
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: wanted to make it feel like more formal today.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: You know, I like I like these things that you're
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: changing up with.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Well, wigs are the one thing that I'm changing up,
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: and then just clothing is solely because the other clothing
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: doesn't fit.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: For right now. It doesn't fit for right now, just
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: for right You know. You're still tiny though, that's but
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: just not as tiny as you were.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: But it's not about that. It's about like the fitness.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: It's like, I don't like that.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: I can feel well, you just don't feel like yourself.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: I don't feel like myself today. I got out of
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: breath for my twenty minute walk on the treadmill.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: But you just had that the therapy, though, that takes
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: it out of you.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: And I did the red carpet for the first time
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: you looked beautiful. Thank you.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: I was really proud of you. But know what you lose.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Like when you haven't done a red carpet in a
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: long time. And granted I didn't think it had been
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: that long, but I guess seventy, like our eighty six
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: days is a pretty long amount of time.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: Oh, you counted the days.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: I counted the days because it was seventy six days
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: from when I did a surgery. I wasn't like, who
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: when was the last time I did red carpet?
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: The surgery. I was about to say the surgery, but
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: I feel a little nervous.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: I didn't feel nervous, but my eyes didn't really know
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: where to focus, like.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: Because I couldn't that be because you had some brain tumors.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean it could be, but I was with
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: Kyle and so they were yelling both of our names, yeah,
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: and so I would I would like find my eyes
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: being like and then I looked at her and I
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: was like, she's staying in one. Okay, That's what I'm
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: gonna do. And so then in eighty five percent of
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: the photos, I'm like.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: This, No, you look great. I saw them and I
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: saw your interviews I thought you spoke beautifully.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you so much.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: All right, dear Diamonds, you ready, Yeah, I'm ready. Okay,
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: Dear Diamonds, I need advice on what to do about
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: an old friendship that I can't stop thinking about. I
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: had best friends since tenth grade. We were so close,
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: almost like sisters. We'd have arguments, but get over it.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: We went to university together. Is this person European because
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: we say college?
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: Oh, they they're either we went to university. They're either
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: European or Canadian. Right, I don't know, but either way,
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: not Americans. Were you in eighteen?
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: I'm saying that's a bad thing. It's just nobody says
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: university here.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: We didn't go to universe. Neither of us went to university,
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: so we don't know.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: No, we wouldn't know. No higher education over here.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: No, but ask us keep going.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: So then she met her boyfriend who's now her husband,
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: and she started to prioritize spending all her time with
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: him because I guess the husband now husband and the
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: friend did not get along. They continued their friendship, but
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: then at the beginning of the fourth year, she.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: Was tired of keeping the relationship separate. And she was
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: annoyed at the dumb little things. She did reach out
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: to me once after I did that, and I had
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: planned on responding but didn't. I was not planning on killing.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: Killing the friendship. I did try to reach out to
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: her about two and a half years later. So basically
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: the question is twelve years since their sister like friendship ended,
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: but she can't move on, and I keep thinking of
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: how to reach out and rekindle what we once had,
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: but I'm scared of rejection.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: Well okay, well here's what I'm going to say about this.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: The friends that I truly enjoy the most are the
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: ones that I don't need to see every day, and.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: You don't feel like you have to catch up with it.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: It feels like you just pick right up where you left.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it feels effortless. And I think if she doesn't
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: like your husband and you're still with him, and you
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: feel guilty for some of the things you've done in
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: the past by you know, pushing her out in your
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: words not mine, maybe you could just send her one
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: little text message and just say, hey, listen, I've been
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: doing some you know, selinking self reflecting, and I'm really
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: sorry that I didn't make you more of a priority
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: in my life.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: But I know that. Yeah, I'd like to change that.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: Let's see and see how they look. The bottom line is,
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: you don't know how you're going to be received until
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: you do it. If it means something to you, you'll
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: reach out.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: And if she's this big of a problem, like, here's
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: the thing, there's a lot of my friend's husbands that
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: I don't like, but I suck it down. I suck
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: it down if they want to choose to be married
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: to them. I'm not going to avoid my friend completely,
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: like keep everything separate.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: It's really none of my business. If I'm friends with you,
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: like I mean, I don't really care about your husband.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: Does that makes sense? Like I could even do a
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: double day whatever. I'm cool. I'm friends with you.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: The husband is, and I mean not many husbands are
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: that funny anyway.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: But again, my friendship is with the woman, not with
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: the guy. But that's my opinion.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: But either way, I think send her one little message.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: If she doesn't respond, maybe she's not the friend that
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: you had twelve years ago.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: Who is the same twelve years ago and college is
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: a completely different mindset and obviously too if he's your husband,
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: like he's first.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: He's first, and he's gonna keep coming first. So I
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: don't really know what's gonna change unless things are a
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: little bit on the skids with your husband, kids and
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: you need to have that friendship that you originally had
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: with her, But it is going to change. You're married now,
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: you possibly have kids, I don't know.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: Twelve years.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we're both adults. There were both adults with little kids.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: Now well that's yeah, that's ship has sailed. Maybe you
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: guys can bond to her being mothers.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: You could, you, but you're ruationship is changed, yes, agreed.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: But if she won't respond to you, Like I have
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: a friend that keeps reaching out to me through subtle ways,
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: I don't respond. I'm not interested.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: Do you have a big friendship circle? I have like problems, Yeah,
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: you do.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: I have like sections, Like I have like three groups
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: of friends.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Right, and they all do different things, and.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: They all do different things, and they all meet like
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: we all meet different Yeah, but also none of my
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: friends really have expectations. But I would do anything for them.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: But if I have a friend that's like, it's my
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: birthday next Wednesday, And if you can't make it. I'm
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: gonna be pissed.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: That's not a friendship. That's like you're out. Yeah, that's
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: like five years old.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: I can't do it. I have no patience for it.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: No, and I never require that from other people. No,
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: if you can come, come, If you can't, that's great,
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: you know whatever. Next time, I'd.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: Rather just then we'll go together and grab a drink
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: or go to lunch or do something else. Yeah, you know,
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: I don't. I don't choose people's plans on how they
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: actually feel about me.
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, Amy, We would just like to say,
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: send a text, reach out, see what happens. But I
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: wouldn't count on it.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: But don't grovel, just say like I really miss you
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: and I apologize, but I'm what can I do that
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: We can get back together and see if we can
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: have some fun or but if she doesn't respond, move on.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Amy, there's going to be other friends, right, Okay,
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: Dear Diamonds. I'm a guy with a big crush. I'm
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: a male co worker, and I sometimes get the vibe
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: that he might be into me too. We hung out
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: outside of work, but I'm but always in groups. I
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: want to be more flirty and make a move, but
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: I'm not sure he's into guys, and I worry it
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: could get awkward. Oh well, I got to tell you something.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: This is anonymous please yeah, anonymous.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: Police, which I do too. Here's the thing, you got
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: HR issues. Don't do this if you don't think he's
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: into guys. Do not make this move at all. Oh
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: this is not a safe bet.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: This is at nineteen eighty seven. We've got to be
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: careful with the age on me.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you something. You can't even tell anybody
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: they look cute. No, do you know that you're not
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: allowed to even comment on someone's presence, like wow, I
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: really like those shoes, or you look beautiful today, which
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: personally I like that. I don't appreciate that, and I
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: would have me too.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: I appreciated that when you did that, when you got
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: when I got here today. Is that an HR issue?
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: We don't have HR. I can guarantee that HR where guys.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: I'm complaining because Erica gave me a compliment today and I'm.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: Offended well and also too. I mean, look, obviously you
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: don't want to take away from those who have really
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: been harassed and things like that, but telling somebody that
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: they look nice. I think is just like noticing that
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: they put time into their appearance.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, And also that you appreciate how they
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: appreciate it.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that they're well taken care of.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: Or you might like it. Hey, where'd you get that?
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: I'd love to get it right?
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: But where'd you get your genes?
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: In regards to the guy not being sure, I would
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: think that the other guy will come to you if
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: it's meant to be.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: I just say, if you're not sure about one of
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: these things at work and it's in that work environment,
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: do not touch it.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah. If we were not talking about work, if we
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: were talking about you've seen him out.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: Of all, of course that's a different story. But the
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: work thing, no.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: Way, Nope. And then you have to sit like unless
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: you're planning on leaving and going to another job quickly.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: But even then, if it's not an HR issue, it's
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: going to be an awkwardness issue. And it's not about
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: if he's gay or not gay. What if he's just
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: not into you? What if he is gay?
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: But what if he's gay? But just it's like, yeah,
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: you're not my type. Yeah. Have you seen that balloon
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: show where they pop the balloons. No, it's so good.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: There's several. Have you I'm sure you've seen it.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: I it's absolutely that's the whole show. It's like pimple Popper, but.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: Ball So they bring so they line up either all
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: guys are all girls and they bring you know, a
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: guy or girl in and then it's so good.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: You pop the balloon and then you're with whoever.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: Well, they get to interview you. The host interviews why
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: did you pop your balloon? Yeah?
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: There's says the things, there's not my type, or I
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: didn't like his teeth, or I'm just not really into
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: guys like you.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: You know what, Teeth's a big thing for me.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: I've always known that teeth is a no. I've always no,
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: I've known this about her. I've known this about her
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: for for teeth or you. And there's another there's a
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: male friend of mine who was my trainer for a
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: long time, Alfonso already teeth are a big thing for
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: him too. Yeah, you are the two people that stick
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: out to me that teeth are. Like you, guys both
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: immediately noticed teeth.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: I immediately noticed teeth. Am I saying that every person I've
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: ever known that I'm close with has perfection teeth, No,
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: but it is to me if somebody has a dazzling
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: smile and it's not a big bunch of veneers.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you notice those that you know what I was thinking.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: I was getting ready today to come over here, and
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: Liyah and I were talking. We were talking about first appearances.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: And you are someone that really takes in all things
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: about people. You can tell well, this is the thing
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: that people don't know about Teddy. She can tell you
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: what someone was wearing, like down from top to bottom.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: She will know what they were wearing. That he was
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: wearing these jeans, this T shirt. Her hair color was
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: this dah da da da. I, on the other hand,
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: could not tell you anything that was happening. I don't know.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: What I do know is how I felt about that person.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: But she can tell you everything.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: But I also need a picture of every human I'm
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: ever speaking about, Like it would be helpful for me
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: if I anonymous, please Anonymous please, or Amy Amy, because
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: I think you can. If somebody's telling me a story
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: and I can't see the person, it's not to judge
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: the person, but it gives me more of an idea
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: of who the person is we're talking about. So like,
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: if you were telling me about a guy with before
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: she would even tell me the story, I'd be like,
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: can I see a picture?
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah? She's very much like that, you like I need
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: always you are that person.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: This one is. I have a friend who I've known
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: for over thirty years, so I love very much. She
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: could give the shirt off her back to you. Only
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: thing is she stirs up drama and can be very manipulating.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: When she wants something and she doesn't want to come
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: right out and ask for it. What she wants, she
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: will do things like invite you over and cook you
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: a meal.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: To so offen you. I know this type, but she
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: does a lot.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: To get her way, and my opinion, the tactic is
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: very toxic. In my opinion, Anonymous, you don't like this person?
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: Well, I think that Anonymous feels used, and that's a
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: lot of it. I think that you know, these friendships
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: that we have, I don't like that. I don't like it.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: If you need something from me, just be straight up
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: and ask me. Don't try to soften me, because then
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: I feel like I'm being hustled and I don't like that.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: It's like when.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: People text you like, hey, how are you? And then
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: the next text it and you're like you're good, I'm good,
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: how are you? Blah blah, and then it's like can
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: you do bab bla. Then I'm like, f off, just
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: ask me, like I'll text somebody immediately and.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: Just ask for what I want. Yeah, that's my reason.
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: Hey Teddy, Hey Erica, can you x y Z? Yes
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: I can? Or no, I can't this person? Should this
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: person be honest with this friend?
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: So do I keep the friendship and just keep him
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: at distance? No? If this person you think is a manipulator,
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: why even bother?
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: Well, she's fifty six years old and just doesn't want
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: to deal with drama anymore, and she considers this drama.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: I'm anonymous considers this drama and if it's look, I'm
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: fifty four in like two months, I ain't fucking with
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: nobody that's giving me drama, and I can't do this
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: no paid Yeah, well that's a yeah, I can do
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: paid drama.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: But I think that you just take a little.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: But not listen. Friendships at this point in my life
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: are meaningful. Relationships are meaningful or they're not happening at all.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree. I also think that. I'm curious if
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: Anonymous stopped reaching out to this person, if this person
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: would seek.
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: A lo He's a very good point. That is a
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: very good point. Maybe if Anonymous just stopped all communication,
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: this person might quit.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: I think so too, because I think this person is
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: really just taking what they think they can get. And
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: if they think they can get something from.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: You, they'll keep trying.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: They'll keep trying. But if you just you don't really
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: care about the friendship, take a little take a little
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: fiver and see what happens.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, take a break because it's using the word toxic.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: Stay toxic, but not like this.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: Listen, I'm kind of over the word toxic. Not to you.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: Well, no, it's old as hell, toxic, narcissist.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: I'm over it. Trauma, trauma bonded, trauma bonded, none of it.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: I don't want I don't.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: Want it anymore either.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: I'm moved on.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: Yes, we've moved on.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: Well, now we're guess what. This one's from Anonymous too.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: Guess what? And she's eighteen years old and currently in
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: a relationship with a man twenty years older than me. Ooh,
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: let me take this all that broke?
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: I know I got so excited about.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: Let me take this. Okay, Dear dim, I's at eighteen
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: years old and currently in a relationship with a man
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: twenty years older than me. So you he's what forty? Okay?
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: Both my family and friends are repeatedly telling me this
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: is a huge red flag and there's a reason he's
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: not with someone around his age. Okay, hold on, I
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: have an answer for that. I like him a lot,
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: and I feel really comfortable around him. I'm sure the
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: only problem is he's recently becoming more controlling. What do
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: you no way knows anything about that? Well, this is
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: tailor made for me. It feels like it feels like
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: he's being overprotective, but I'm not sure that his intentions
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: are good. My family and friends have distanced themselves from
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: me due to this relationship. I don't have anyone to
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: get so okay, So Anonymous, let me tell you this
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: is standard for one of these relationships. Number one, forty
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: and eighteen. Do I hate it?
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: No?
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: No, I don't hate it. Is it a red flag? No?
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: Because this is what men do. A lot of them,
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: not all of them, but a lot of them. I'm
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: sure you feel comfortable around him because at forty men
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: have a sense of who they are. They're probably he's
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: probably accomplished, made some money, he's experienced, he knows what
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: he wants. He's probably not out running the streets like
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: a twenty year old or an eighteen year old controlling. Yes, absolutely,
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: And what he's doing is isolating you, my dear, and
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: then you end up, of course, your friends and family
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: fall away, and you focus solely on him. This is
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: what most men like this enjoy. This is what happened
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: to me. I totally focused on Tom, and you know,
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: a lot of my friendships fell away, and then I'd
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: ended up just being Tom's life and living Tom's life. Now,
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: I'm not saying that's going to happen here, but I
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: am saying that you're right on schedule.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: Yep. And also here's the thing. It's to me. It's
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: not the twenty years older. But if you're with a
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: guy who's all this to me, something that Tom did
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: do is you didn't meet him twenty years older than
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: you and he had never been married before.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: I sometimes worry about somebody.
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: Who's never been connected, right, he doesn't have you, right.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: So let's check some past relationships that's what I would.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: I would delve into that a little bit because we're one.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: We're also not sure if he's thirty eight, thirty eight
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: and forty or big difference?
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: Do you think so?
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: I do?
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: I think the difference is.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: I think forty. Like, if you're a man and you're
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: forty and you've never been married yet.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: It's a big deal.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: You're a red flag.
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: Yes, I think that if you're forty, you've been married,
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: you've had kids, or you've at least been married, you're
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: divorced or whatever, you've had a couple of blown.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: Out thirty five, we can still fudge it, I think.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: I think so for thirty five, yeap, forty is a
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: little like.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: I see your point, But let's check into some past relationships.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: If it seems like a very isolating time, then I'm
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: worried he may once you get a titch older, he
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: might be more controlling, and then he might get over
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: you and do this to somebody else.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: She's young though, this is an eighteen year old person,
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: But what if he's That's what I'm saying. She can
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: start eighteen as well.
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: Oh, exes are eighteen, forget it. Run Yeah, But if
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: all of his exes are eighteen years old, and if
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: all of his exes by if he tells you that
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: all of his exers are crazy, then you have a
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: p and he's the crazy, the crazy one.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: Also, is he hot?
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: There are a lot of hot forty year olds.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. If he's hot, more can be forgiven.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: Of course, if he's hotter or paying your rent?
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: Definitely, is he hotter paying your rent? Hot paying your rent?
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: You can look the other way for a long time. Girl,
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: you're eighteen, come back around when they want their rent
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: you're twenty one. Oh yeah, they will come back around
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: when you pay their rent.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: They will. Does he have a jet? Hold on? I
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: know what? This reminds me of what babe when Yolanda
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: sings if this was my plane, if this plane were mine.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: You'll Londa who Foster? What am I looking at?
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: This is her music video to David Foster that I
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: hope Anonymous recreates for us and sends it. I'll post it.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: I have never seen that, you know what? I like
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: to bring something new to the table.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: My god, your face if this plane were.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna put that out there for anybody.
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: No why are we singing about a plane?
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: Because if this plane were hers, she could do anything.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: She could travel the world. There's a lot that could
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: happen if.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: That's such an odd thing to sing about.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: So either way we're getting you know, anonymous.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: Dad, i'd write a song about a plane.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: No do you think? He barely lets me ride on
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: his plane, and when he does it's filled with sig smoke.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: Is he a smoker?
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: Oh my yes, John, John, John should get you know what?
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: That's what? Oh my god, call your dad.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: They could talk each other's ears off and.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: Smoke and smoke. They boo American spirits. I thought she
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: was smoking Pea funks, but whatever.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: She switched to American spirit.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: Okay, well, they could smoke American spirits, fly around on
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: the plane, talk each other's ears.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: But I wonder if his plane is big enough because
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: one time I went on a plane with Durie. We
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: were like it was like a sponsored thing. And we
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: got there and she was like this, hold on, and
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: she knew every detail about a plane, and she's like,
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: this is a bubble plane. I don't feel comfortable, And
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: I was like I do.
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: Well, look, the old Erica.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: Probably wouldn't feel comfortable. But the new Erica is.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: Like, let me on is fine with whatever. The new Erica, well,
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: it's not the it's the return to Derek. Okay, that's
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: what we need to do. We need to get your
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: father and Durite together. Oh I'm trying. It might be
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: a good idea.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: The problem also is, but Duri can't have any beverages anymore.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: He doesn't like when girls drink.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: Alcohol. Oh but she doesn't get crazy.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: It doesn't matter.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: Oh that's his thing.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: Like he just he's never drunk. He's not. It's not
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: like he's a recovering alcoholic.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: He's just like, he's just not a drinker. Doesn't like it.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: But he feels like whenever he's in my opinion, girls
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: drink and then they get super chatty, I'm sure, and
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: he doesn't like it. And I don't think my sister
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: and I have helped.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: That theory, the drinking or the chatting, because we'll sit.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: There and we'll have champagne and then we're like.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: Shut up. But maybe they could smoke cigarettes and talk.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: They've met, I mean they didn't meet, and like they
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: met with his girlfriend there, Hi, Kristen, Oh my.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: God, does she listen to the show.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: I doubt it, So that's humiliating. Kristin. We love you,
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: but if it doesn't work out, we've got to read
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: here in the corner.
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: Wait, we're saying he really has a girlfriend right now.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: I thought he was single. I'm over here talking like that.
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: Oh he has a girlfriend. Oh my god, I'm sorry.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: Sorry, I didn't know.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: I don't think Kristen's going to be upset about you
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: saying that one bit. Kristin is the coolest check ever.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: I had no idea. Listen, I'm so very sorry. I
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: thought John was single. Now next questions, Oh God, here
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: you go. My husband suffers from anxiety, and it's very
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: up and down. We are in a down phase where
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: he has abruptly. He has anxiety about everything, but mainly
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: the future, dying, death, in general, his physical image. We're
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: thirty one, no kids and a dog.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: What do you we're dnk wads? What's dnk wad? Whoa
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: hold on? This is a PSA dink wads is.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: Dual income no kids.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: Listen, I'm I'm not interested in being a dink wad.
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: I would like to be a dink wad. I have
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: an adult kid and he's got his own shit, so
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: he's no problem.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: No, I don't know about dink wad.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: I'd rather just lots of income. Yeah, me too.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: He talks to a therapist here and there, but so
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: against medication. How can I help when I do not
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: suffer from the same anxiety. You know what I suffer
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: from anxiety?
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: So yeah, but you go and then I'll back them up.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: He wants to start exercising more. I want him to,
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: but he's really into golf. For me, the biggest thing
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: with my anxiety is I don't want people that don't
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: have anxiety to try to tell me how to fix
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: my anxiety.
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: This is true, or tell me to relax, this is
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: also true.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: Also, if you decided that you were okay with being
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: somebody with anxiety disorder, which I have beyond belief, then
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: you kind of just sit there and you go through
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: the waves. And as long as he's not being I
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: was going to say a dick wad, but that's not
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: a dink wad. As long as you not having a
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: dick wad to you during his anxiety and he just
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: needs a little love and support, give it to him.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: And then also maybe say you could go on walks together.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: You could do things together, but don't start trying to
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: coach him through his anxiety when you've never struggled with it.
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: I agree with that, but also too, I think there
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: are some things I don't know how he feels about it,
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: Like there are some things you can do to take
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: away some of the effects of anxiety, like over caffeine.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: I know this sounds stupid, but like even small things
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: can make a difference. If you're against medication, I'm on medication.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: I had to. I was forced to, just not forced to,
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: but I really was. My life kind of forced me
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: into it, like I I couldn't do it without it.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: I will say this. I remember when I had my
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: very first panic attack when I was thirty years old,
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: and I did not know what it was, and it
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: can be terrifying and until someone said to me, you know,
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: you'll never die of an anxiety attack, and that really
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: just took everything down for me. But a lot of
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: it is you see a therapist. You know he sees
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: a therapist from time to time. Make that more frequent
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: because that does help. And if you sweat and you
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: run around and you do some other things and hang
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: out with people that have anxiety, because they know what
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: it is.
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: And also at this point, I have anxiety about even
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: going to therapy. But there are plays and this is
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: not an ad, but you can go to like places
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: like betterhelp dot com and you can see a therapist
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: online and not because booking appointments and doing all that
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: kind of stuff.
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I imagine where you are right now, everything is
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: really overwhelming.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: It's annoying. Like I'm so excited that I found someone
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: that could do my blood work right down the street
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: instead of driving to Santa Monica. Not that I drive,
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: but have somebody else.
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: Driving right exactly. You have someone here.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's but just give them a little time.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: And normally if you don't feel the pressure of your
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: significant other or person, it'll go away. But take action.
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: You got to move your body. You gotta breathe. You
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: have to move your body for me meditation or either
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: like I mean, I even go in the bathtub and
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: we'll put ice in it and like get that, like
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: and then it'll kind of go away. But if I
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: just lay there in my anxiety, it's very hard. That
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: being said, you're gonna have to have him called the
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: Dear Erica and Teddy Show because we don't want you
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: coaching him through this.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: No, you have to, And unless you've actually like had
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: one of those heart racing moments where you thought you
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: were literally I remember like feeling like I was coming
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: out of my skins. I felt like I was literally
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: going to come out of my body. That is the
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: most uncomfortable place to be. I felt like one time
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: I was gonna throw myself out of a window, like
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: I'm going way, way way back. It just like felt
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: very uncomfortable around things like that can be crippling.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's social anxiety tied into it, then that's really strung.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: If he also has social anxiety and it's infecting affecting
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: your relationships too. Just give him. Quit trying to make
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: him come with you.
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: You can't go. Yeah, you cannot make him. That's a
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: really he has to take those baby steps forward and
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: it's not going to just go away. No, I agree,
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: dear Diamonds. I recently turned twenty four, left my soul
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: sucking corporate job, and I'm moving to Charleston. Oh, you're
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: gonna be on from DC for my boyfriend of five years, Yes,
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: boyfriend of five years. We also have a dog together,
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: so I'm hoping to get a ring by the end
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: of the year. Anyways, I have no idea what to
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: do for a career and feel so much pressure to
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: make a shit ton of money and have everything figured out.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: Do y'all have advice for navigating your twenties OnlyFans and
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: if I should prioritize saving and stability or taking risks
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: and going on adventures like OnlyFans. No, she didn't say that.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: She didn't say it. We just added in the only.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: Fans Jenna, And thank you for adding your name, Jenna.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: Your twenties suck. I'm just gonna put that right out there,
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: your twenties. This is exactly where you need to be
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: in your twenties, not knowing what you're doing. Yeah, I mean,
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: I think that's that's par or the course of the twenties.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: I mean, what, how old were you when you started
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: Erica Jane or you started the Housewives?
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: I returned to performing when I started my Ragadeen project
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: when I was like thirty four, yeah, and then Housewives
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: is like, how old am I forty three?
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah? I'm I think I started Housewives. So that then
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: turned into the pod all in by Teddy. It all
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: kind of happened around the same time, and I think
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: I was in my early thirties.
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think when you're you're early I remember my
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: thirtieth birthday and feeling certainly more comfortable in my own
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: skin on that day. So the twenties, I mean provided
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: here's the thing, Jenna, don't do something you can't course correct, right, Like,
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: don't do something that you know is going to impact
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: you for the rest of your life. That's bad. So
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: you're allowed in your twenties not to know what the
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: fuck you're doing. Yeah, and you're allowed to, you know,
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: discover yourself. So don't be too hard on yourself. Just
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: stay busy.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: And if boyfriend of five years is my can you
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: feel guilty about it and you're moving there and feeling
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: panicked because he lives in Charleston and blah blah blah.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: But know what I have heard is pretty lucrative and
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: kind of fun to do while you're in Charleston is
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: be a real estate agent.
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: Really? Yeah, where'd you get this info?
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: Well? I got this info from my sister's friend who
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: has one there. Oh, so she's like a younger cute girl.
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: She is a real estate agent. She makes good money.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: She has small children. She's able to live her life
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: but also do what she loves. But I don't know.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: If you're not into real estate, then this isn't a
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: great plan. But if you're totally just looking to make
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: some money, Charleston is up and coming with these beautiful homes.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, Charleston.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: And it's not a long it's not a long process
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: to get your real estate licen.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: No in South Carolina is so open for business and
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: really easy to do business in.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: Or just slide into Craig's DMS. Let us know how
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: that I just call chperro'se.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: We know Jenna has Jenna has a boyfriend, but she
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: may not.
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: She may not when she's what Charleston has to offer.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: That's right, Charleston is great way to Charleston.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: Let's go to Charles.
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: I want to go to I haven't been in so long.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: Okay, Dear diamonds, is it wrong to secretly meet up
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: for coffee with an old, close male friend, even though
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: spouse is very jealous? I feel like life is short
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: and it's sad to miss out on important platonic friendships,
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: but hard to navigate with a controlling I got a
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: question for you. This was anonymous.
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: Okay, can men be platonic? No?
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: Can men? Or can men and women be friends?
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: I have male platonic friends that are straight.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: Yes, I aren't your.
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: Bosses, that's right. I do. I have two or three.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: It's never been inappropriate. They have their own thing. Now.
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: That is a very.
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: Very ram over twenty years, that's my point. But if
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: it's a new over twenty years.
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: When you kind of start out together and you're doing.
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: Like my high school friends, like we brought up chat Shep,
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: for example, I have been friends with since the seventh grade.
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: I was gonna say middle school. So like SHEP is like,
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: there's no way Shep's gonna try, no fucking way, and
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: there's no way You're every like.
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: I'm never gonna be interested. It's like we've known each
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: other too long. But also, what is your need so
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: much to have these friendships if you know it's gonna
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: upset your controlling husband, if you're really wanting to move
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: on from the controlling husband, leave the husband.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: I think it's a yeah, you can't have your cake
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: and eat it too here because you're gonna pay the
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: consequences of meeting up with someone for coffee. If you're
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: married to control, you're really not into them. It's not
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: worth it. It's not it's not worth it. Don't do it.
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: And because you're just gonna pay, you're gonna pay, and
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: it's I I guess. Look, I'm also on the other
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: side of things looking back. Maybe you need Maybe this
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: person needs that sort of friendship or needs that and
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: is not getting it at home. But here's what ends
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: up happening.
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: She's gonna fall them.
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: No. But even if you don't, even if it's just
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: quote innocent, if that husband finds out the jealous control,
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: he's gonna assume it is exactly and then you're gonna
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: have to do all of this shit to convince him
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: that it is.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: It wasn't an affair, it was just a friendship.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: And you're emotionally cheating.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know what, at that point you may
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: as well just cheat. So it's this, just don't do it.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: Don't do it.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: And if if your husband is if you love him
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: and he's an amazing guy, you can say to him.
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: Hey, I'm gonna go have coffee with so and so.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: You know, me and John, we're gonna get John's it. Also,
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: I think It's also dependent if the person lives in
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: town or not. Like if I were to tell somebody
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: that was a controlling relationship person, Hey, my friend Ben.
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: Who's coming in from coming into town.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: I haven't seen him in fifteen years.
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: Well I think also to look, we're grown women. We
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: should be able to be friends with everybody. But here's
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: what ends up happening. Certain things are us not worth
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: it. It's gonna cause problems at home, and it's not fucking
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: worth it. Now. If you're telling me, hey, I'm really
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: unhappy at home and I'm thinking about stepping out on
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: my husband, well that's another situation. But coffee, you're gonna
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: pay a price for that.
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: You're gonna get in so many fights over a couple
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: of coffee. That's not worth it.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: I'd rather you fuck him and then just be like,
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: get some dick and be like, yeah I did.
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: And cause a scandal in your town.
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: Anonymous, Well, maybe not even, But I'm just saying, at
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: least I'm not if I'm gonna get bitched at right. Yeah,
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna get bitched at one time for the stuff,
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: and I want to at least gain something, right, If
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna get cussed out in all this suspicion. At
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: least let me have had some passion about it.
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, for Pete's sakes.
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: Not some flat white.
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: We also listen, says looks sick. See check it out
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: sis sis.
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: Oh, we're saying cis.
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: Because we don't know our diet coke.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: Our diet coke sas sis on the side. And then
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: there's like a little thing that we could sip, scan
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: and share. We don't know what any of this means.
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: Then we like Coca Cola.
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: Other than that we needed a soda because nobody got
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: us a flat white today or a non fat Hi,
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: which honestly I would have gone out to lunch for.
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: Why do you do the non fat? Is it just
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: you don't like the milk fat? I don't like thick,
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: as I got it.
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: But I also don't like like a the other stuff
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: that's not even milk.
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: No, I don't like like an oa oat milk or
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: an avocado milk or some other shit that everybody's doing.
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: I just just drink.
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: I drink milk when I was born, so I feel
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: like Milk's okay.
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: Did you like milk as a kid? I wasn't big
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: on it.
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: No, I'm but I had it in my cereal this morning.
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: Oh nice whole half skim skim.
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: I always do skim, just because I don't like the
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: thick thickness.
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: Just you know, half and half in my coffee this morning.
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: I like half and half.
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: You know what I do too? What if I'm at
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: a diner, I love how we just go off on.
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: You know what's your diner order.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: My diner order, if I have no concerns, is scrambled
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: eggs with cheese.
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: A side of hash brown Come on, waffle house. I
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: can see it, I can smell it.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: Bacon well died, and a cur cooke crisp, a diet
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: coke and a side of soured dough toasts.
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: Okay, the only change is not a diet coke a
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: regular coke, but the exact same.
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: And then I mix it all together as if it's one.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: I don't mix it all together, but I have the
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: exact cheesy eggs, cheesy eggs, cristy bacon. Now you know what,
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: there's not a waffle house.
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: No, there's not a waffle house here. And I got
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: all excited. They opened to Norms near my house. Where
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: is it it's closed, and Jerry's Delli's closed, like all
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: the options for this, And I got to tell you
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: these health food restaurants, they're terrible.
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: They don't do they don't do it the same.
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: They don't do it the same.
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: I also like a good old grilled cheese, like a nasty, gripy,
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: buttery grilled.
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: Cheese dipped in uh, do you like it dipped in
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: tomato soup?
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: Not really? Just no? I like my I'm a pretty
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: I'm appuriance with my grilled cheese.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: Okay, she's a purist.
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: What about Mels? Do you go to Mells?
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: I used to love Mels when I lived on Sunset.
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: But there's one appear, isn't there.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: I don't like the layout for me. It's also it's
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: not I love ambiance, but no.
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: No, I like it. Like when there's a real diner
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: with a counter. Yeah, I want to go on a
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: diner tour.
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: Sweet. Maybe that's our next thing. We posed giving advice
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: to people.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: Local advice from macal, advice from diners.
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: I've got a new show, pitch everyone.
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: Diner diner talk, diner talk, Oh my gosh, diner talk.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: I would rather go diner than dinner.
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: I'd got to go to a din. I like diners,
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: me too.
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: Did anybody ask any of these questions? Know, they didn't,
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: But you guys can ask more questions for us next week.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: But next week is not going to be advice.
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: Next week, you guys get to ask us questions and
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: grill us.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm sure Erica will be open and ready.
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: For Oh yeah, like Teddy, like Teddy, Teddy's going to
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: be hold back, Teddy.
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: This is why we love each other. We're Yin and Yang,
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: Yin and Yang. Well, thanks guys for tuning in for
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: another episode of Diamonds in the Rough. Uh. We were
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: a touch ruff on the advice, but we think we're right.
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: I think we're right.
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: We're always right.
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: We're conservative in our thoughts. You know, I don't.
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: Really think about the other person.
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: Well no, but I think that some of the advice
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: that we've given is like, you know, look, you're going
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: to pay for this. It's not worth it.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: We've most of these things we've already done. Fuck yeah,
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: we've already done, and we know what the aftermath.
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: It's just not worth it.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: It's just not worth it, is what we have to
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: say here. Yes, thanks guys.
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: Thanks, guys, Stay toxic.