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Heal Your Mother Wound With Me · Reclaiming Consciousness

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: When you are in a relationship with, you know, a romantic partner, this is a hard and fast rule 100% of the time.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: That partner will be mirroring back to you the wounding that you have from childhood that you're being invited to reconcile and heal.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: You have to acknowledge what you actually felt and what you actually experienced, not what you think should have happened.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: Not from your adult perspective, creating a narrative that makes sense as an adult.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's not what heals you.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: What heals you is acknowledging how you actually felt as a child.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Reclaiming Consciousness.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Elise Bassine, spiritual mentor, breathwork practitioner, and owner and CEO of Elise Breeds.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: For many years, our consciousness has been hijacked by societal and cultural programming, religion, the media, and familial and ancestral trauma.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Right now, during this epic time in history, people are waking up, realizing who they really are, and reclaiming the pieces of their consciousness that they unknowingly gave away.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast is an exploration of how so many spectacular humans are leading the way in exiting the matrix and reclaiming who they really are and what they're capable of.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: In this show, you'll meet exceptional people who are paving the way in raising consciousness and creating a new way of living on this earth.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Get ready to go deep.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: Now let's dive in.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: Hi everyone, welcome back to the show.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: So today we are going to be talking about the mother wound.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I know this is something that you probably think you've heard other places, and also obviously I have talked about it a lot, and it is a huge focus inside of the metamorphosis, which is coming up, is starting in the beginning of August.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll talk about that in a minute.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: But I just want to give you a little bit of context as to why I'm bringing this topic forward today.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: So aside from the fact that this is a huge part of the work that I do, especially inside of the metamorphosis, but the metamorphosis is also the foundation for all of my work.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: However, I think it's really important to understand the deeper layers and nuances of the relationship that we have with our mothers and the relationship that we have with the feminine energy, and how that lays a blueprint for the way that you will relate to yourself and the way that you'll relate to the world.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I wanted to shed light on this topic because I don't think that most people have an understanding of the layers and the nuances and how this can show up in a variety of ways and how it will continue to show up in different and deeper ways.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: And that's really what I wanted to illustrate for you today.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: So you can start to understand maybe some things that you are not seeing.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: Cause I know pretty much every time when I'm talking to a client or I have someone new come into a program and I ask them about their relationship with their mother, they will always be like, I've already done so much work around this.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, and it's not like it's something that you look at and then you're like, okay, I'm done with that.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: I did my mother wound work.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: That's not how this works.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: This is an ever-evolving, ever-unfolding thing that we look at in order to gain information about what is happening, about what you're being invited to heal and shift and change, and also what opportunities are available to you based on where you're at and where you want to go.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: So, what I will say is that if you are desiring to grow in any capacity, if you're desiring to create something, whether it is a business or whether it is a new job or a new relationship or making more money or attracting more clients or whatever it is, anything really.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, I know a lot of you are business owners or aspiring business owners, which is why I always give that example.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: And this work applies very well to business growth or starting a business, just because those two things are probably the most powerful ways that you will be invited to grow, that you will be invited to look at your stuff.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: This work goes really well with that.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: But if there's anything that you are desiring and you are putting your intention into creating it and it's not happening, then most likely there is some deeper layer around this relationship that you have not yet uncovered or acknowledged, and that you are being invited to reconcile, period, point blank.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: It has been rare for me to work with a client and create significant change with them and us not uncover a deeper layer of this relationship that the person was not aware of.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: And the reason why this is so important is because your relationship with your mother leaves a blueprint for every other relationship.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's going to be the way that you think relationships are.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then there's a lot of deeper layers to it because when you're developing in your mother's womb, you take on her consciousness, you take on her psyche because that is the environment that you are developing in.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: You are literally being developed by the cells of her body.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: So those cells hold a consciousness, and you are being made by the consciousness of your mother.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: So you literally take on her consciousness.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: The way that she sees the world, the way that she sees herself, what she believes she's capable of, what she believes she deserves, what she believes is available to her, will be what you take on as the way that you see yourself and the way that you see the world as well, until you become conscious of it and shift it.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: And there are many, many deeper layers and nuances to this that I'm gonna get into today.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna share some of my own personal stories around this so you can understand and really bring these concepts to life for you.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: This is very important to just have an awareness around and be open to understanding something that you have not yet understood about this relationship and the importance of it, and that there's always an invitation to go deeper with it and to gain a new perspective and knowledge around it because I guarantee that will most likely be the thing that shifts things for you.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: I've seen it with pretty much everybody, including myself.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_01: And next week I'm gonna be doing an Instagram live and it's gonna be on the podcast too, with a client who I did some short-term private with and uncovered some very deep layers of her mother wound, which completely shifted everything for her in her business.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: And that is pretty common because typically, if there is something that you continue to come up against, whether it's an income ceiling or whether it's not being able to make a decision or feeling confused around something, or just struggling with lack of motivation or procrastination, or like the type of thing where you know what you need to do, you're just not doing it for some reason.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: There is something inside of this relationship for you to look at.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of what we do inside the metamorphosis is me guiding you to see the deeper layers and nuances in a way that you haven't, so that you can heal and reconcile something that you were not aware of that you've been playing out.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: So before I dive in, I just want to quickly say we have the metamorphosis happening at the beginning of August.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: And if you have not yet done the metamorphosis with me, I highly recommend it because to me, I don't know any other system, tools, program that exist to dissolve familial and ancestral trauma quicker than this.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: This is a very efficient way to pinpoint, reconcile, and heal the deeper layers of trauma that cause you to feel stuck, cause you to feel confused, feel lack of momentum, or stuck with not having confidence, not feeling good enough, being afraid to put yourself out there.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: Or it can also be things that just keep you staying at the same level when you desire to expand and grow.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: So if that describes you, then the metamorphosis is a great place to be because you will uncover why you have stagnated and what is standing in the way so that you can shift it.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: And we look at and heal the four major types of childhood trauma, which are the birth story, which is the circumstances around your birth from conception till three months old.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: And then the mother wound, of course, which we're gonna get into today, and then also the father wound and the sibling wound.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: And all of these have very specific flavors to them that when you heal and reconcile it from the perspective that I give you inside of this program, things will drastically shift for you.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes in ways that you didn't quite expect.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: You might have a side effect of your relationship with your partner getting way better.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_01: People experience that all the time.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: Also, just opportunities coming out of nowhere, quote unquote, money coming out of nowhere, quote unquote, because what happens is when you dissolve these patterns, then you open up to a new way of interacting with yourself and the world and you open up to opportunities that were meant for you.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: But because you were only tuned into a certain perspective, a certain pattern, those opportunities weren't able to show up.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: You weren't a match for them.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: So when you shift these things, then you start to open up to the things that are truly meant for you.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: And then you also will come out with new levels of clarity around what your next steps are, what has been holding you back and how to move forward.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: And then also being able to take action in a confident way quickly.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: Not only will you know what action to take, you will take it.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: So that's a really big deal, too.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_01: That is starting at the beginning of August.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_01: And right now we're in early bird pricing, and I have priced it to be a no-brainer for you guys.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: So it's eight weeks with me.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: You have two calls a month, so four support calls total.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: And then we also have a telegram chat where I will be coaching four days a week.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: So you get a ton of support from me.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: You can plug in each day to ask me questions about what's coming up for you and get my perspective, get my coaching, get my support.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: It is high touch, high support designed for you to move quickly.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: Most people say right away they start to feel the momentum.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: They start to feel different immediately.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: And when you sign up, you get access to the tools right away.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: So even if you sign up now, we don't start till the beginning of August, but you can start working through the program immediately and start seeing the shifts immediately.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: So that's gonna start at the beginning of August.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: Right now we're in early bird pricing, so it's$1,500 pay in full or four payments of$375.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: And it'll be that price until July 15th.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: And then after that, it's gonna be$2,000.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: So sign up now.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: Reach out to me with any questions.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: Also, I have a really amazing free resource for you around these topics.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_01: It is called the Clear Trauma from Your Business Cheat Sheet.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna link it below.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I have my husband designed it really nice.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's very easy to read where I explain the four types of familial trauma and how to know which one is blocking your business right now.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I explain each one and then how it'll show up in your business and then what happens when you clear it.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_01: So it's a very clear diagnostic tool for you to know where to start, what to look at for which type of trauma is blocking your business.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: So if you'd like to have that, it's totally free.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_01: Just sign up at the link in the show notes, and that will go straight to your inbox.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_01: Let's dive in.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so I am gonna be talking about the mother wound through the lens of my own experience and what my mother wound was and how I healed it inside of my relationship with my husband.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: Now, what I will say is what is really important for the work that I teach in the metamorphosis is there are no hard and fast rules, and it's important not to take things literally.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: So, with that being said, there are things that are very common for a lot of people, which one of them is that for women, a lot of times we will play out our mother wound inside of our relationship with our partner.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: Now, that is not always the case, and there's nuance to it because, for example, when you are in a relationship with, you know, a romantic partner, this is a hard and fast role 100% of the time.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: That partner will be mirroring back to you the wounding that you have from childhood that you're being invited to reconcile and heal.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_01: Now, that doesn't mean that for me, for example, like my husband really represents the dynamics of my relationship with my mother.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: However, there are aspects of him that represent my relationship with my father too.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: However, since my relationship with my mother was way more contentious and it was way more wounding for me, then most of what I'm gonna be invited to heal and reconcile inside my romantic relationships is gonna be representative of my relationship with my mother.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: So, for example, if your relationship with your father was way more contentious, wounding or triggering for you, then most likely your romantic partner could represent your relationship with him versus your relationship with your mother.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: But like I said, there could be aspects of both inside of that relationship because your partner, you will usually be attracted to that person because they represent pieces of both of those relationships that you're being invited to heal and reconcile.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: That is how we choose partners.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: I wish I could say, like this whole thing about true love and love at first sight and fairy tales and all of that.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I do believe in love.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I and I think that people have soul connections that are meant to be together.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: We are inherently attracted to people that are going to help us reconcile these wounds from childhood.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever we needed that we did not get, we are going to attempt to get inside of a romantic relationship.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_01: And this is all unconscious.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_01: For me, and you might have heard me share some of this, but I'm gonna share as best as I can just around how my mother wound was showing up in my relationship with my husband, and then how I healed it, and then what happened when I healed it and how it looks different now.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: And this can literally be applied to it, it doesn't even have to be in a relationship.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: You could apply this to like your relationship with money, because a lot of times we will project our mother wound onto money as well.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm just giving you like an example from my own life because I want to be able to illustrate this for you in a way that really lands and also so I can show you what's possible here because I have done this work and I've created huge miracles and transformation in my own life, and I've seen my clients do it as well.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I really want to illustrate for you what is possible when you transform this stuff and use the tools that I created to do it.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna explain a few different layers of this.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: So there's like the first layer around my relationship with my mother.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: First of all, I just want to preface this.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I said this before, but I'm gonna say it again.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: One of the most important aspects of doing this work is being able to hold two perspectives at the same time.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: So, what that means is you have to be able to acknowledge the things that your parents did that really hurt you.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: And you can also at the same time love them more than anything in the world and respect them and respect your connection with them.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_01: We have to be able to do that because one of the things that I see hold people back a lot is not being able to fully say how they felt about their parents because it feels like they are betraying their parents, right?
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: So it was hard for me to say that the way that my mother treated me at times was emotionally abusive.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_01: That was really hard for me to say.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: It was really hard for me to say that she displayed a lot of narcissistic behavior because I love my mom.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: My mom is an amazing person.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: We have a great connection.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: I have nothing but respect for her and I love her so much.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: However, in order for me to create change and in order for anyone to create change, you have to acknowledge what you actually felt and what you actually experienced, not what you think should have happened, not from your adult perspective, creating a narrative that makes sense as an adult.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: That's not what heals you.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: What heals you is acknowledging how you actually felt as a child.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_01: The pain, the disappointment, the upset, the fear, the despair, all of it.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: It has to be acknowledged.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I give you the tools to do this in the metamorphosis so it doesn't have to be so burdensome and it doesn't have to be so heavy.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: Because all we need to do is pinpoint what it is.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: But we have to be able to do that by being honest with ourselves and by being able to hold two perspectives at once.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: Growing up, my mom was volatile.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_01: She was neurotic and she would have like manic episodes.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I think because of the trauma that she dealt with, which I'm not going to go into now because that's not really part of this.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_01: But because of whatever trauma she dealt with, it caused her to not be able to cope with a lot of like anxiety or stress.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: Or anytime something like set her off, she would go into this like manic episode where she would lose it.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: It would almost be like a if you can imagine like a child having a temper tantrum, like that's what she would do, but it would be very destructive.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like she would like throw things and trash my room and like get really mad.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: And this affected me in a lot of ways.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: And this is the top layer, right?
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_01: Because there's deeper layers to this, which I'm gonna get into because I want you to understand it's not just literal.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm telling you the literal things right now about what actually happened with my mom.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_01: And then we're gonna get into the unconscious stuff.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_01: So, what this created for me was a level of underlying anxiety, underlying like bracing for something bad to happen, not knowing what to expect, and then also not understanding like when these things did happen, I would assume that it was my fault, but it was like confusing because I didn't really know what I did.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: So it would create this underlying feeling from me of just bracing for something bad to happen, and then also feeling like I don't ever know when she's gonna turn or she's gonna start acting crazy.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_01: So a lot of what I did would be like people pleasing or like acting in a way where I was trying to like mitigate her having a negative reaction to things.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: So, like most of the way that I would act as a child would be to try to make everyone else happy or make sure that everyone else was okay.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I know a lot of people can relate to this if you grew up in any kind of chaotic environment where people were fighting, that could have been a way that you coped with it is by trying to make sure that everyone else was okay so that you could be okay.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_01: And this is really common.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_01: And this is also what creates like classic codependency.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: So that is like the top layer.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_01: And then how that would show up with my husband is a very similar way.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: My husband, he's not afraid to say what he thinks, he reacts to stuff, he can be confrontational and he can come off as aggressive at times, right?
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_01: In his speech and just like the way that he is.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: He's a he has a dominant personality, and that's just how he is.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: So, my natural reaction inside of our relationship would be to, in this very codependent way, make sure that he is okay, be a people pleaser, not really ever say what I thought, because it was more about making sure that he was not gonna be mad, he was not gonna react to something.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: And it was kind of all about him because that's exactly what I learned in my relationship with my mom.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I literally was playing out that same dynamic in my relationship with him.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: So that's the top layer.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_01: So then I'm gonna get into the underneath layers, which are more around layers of enmeshment that we usually are not aware of, especially not as kids, but usually not as adults either.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: So there's two ways that this can happen that I have seen in all the work that I've done on myself and with other people.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_01: One is that when you come in, you know, you're developing in your mother's womb and you come into this world, and especially this generation, I would say the millennialslash generation X generation who were born to more like the baby boomer generation.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I've talked about this just from a generational perspective, but I'm not gonna get into that right now.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_01: But these are just observations that I've made after working with so many people in this generation.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_01: We have come in to herald in, to usher in a new way of being on the planet, right?
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: So because of that, we are much more sensitive, empathetic.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_01: We are healers.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_01: We've come to the planet to be healers in some capacity or make some sort of change in some capacity.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_01: So we are naturally going to be much more tuned in, sensitive, and empathetic.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_01: And because you came in with this innate power to heal and transform things, you are going to be naturally tuned in to your mother and what her needs are, what she needs to heal, what her pain is, what her trauma is.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: And you will be able to feel that on a very deep level.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: And for myself, I noticed that in all the breath work I did, all the work I've done, which I've dedicated my life to for the last 23 years, is that I took on my mother's trauma by enmeshing with her and taking it on as my own so that I could have my needs met by her.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: So basically, it's like this very deep unconscious level where your energy comes together with her in an attempt to give her what she needed that she didn't get, to give her some kind of healing, some kind of reconciliation.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_01: So you would be hyper tuned into her field.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_01: And then on some level, your energy isn't meshing with hers.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_01: So you wouldn't necessarily be able to know the difference between what she's feeling and what you're feeling.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_01: And this is exactly what I did with my mother.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_01: So I would be so hyper-tuned into what she was feeling, not only from that perspective of racing for her reaction, but from a deeper layer.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: Now, this deeper layer is my energy has like melded with hers, an unconscious attempt to help her.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_01: But because of that, I can't even really tell what's her energy and what's mine.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_01: I just know that I have to be responsible for it on this deep energetic level, right?
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I did the same thing with my husband.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_01: And the way that that looks is that my energy unconsciously merged with his, and I would actually feel things for him that he wasn't even aware of that he was feeling, but that I would know that he was feeling.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_01: But what ended up happening is that I would feel it for him so he wouldn't even have to feel it, which actually stopped his ability to be able to deal with and feel his own feelings.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_01: It was a very codependent thing because I was more tuned into his emotional energy than he was.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_01: It was almost like I was like holding him in this unconscious, energetic way so that he could feel comfortable and didn't necessarily have to go very deep into feeling anything because I was holding it in an energetic way because of the enmeshment that I learned with my mother.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: And this can happen in other relationships, or like I've seen it show up for women in their businesses.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like the client I'm gonna talk about next week, it was showing up in her business.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna illustrate how that could happen as well.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm just giving you like a very clear example.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_01: So then the other piece of this, so there's an even deeper layer underneath that type of ameshment, which is like the desire to heal through enmeshment.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_01: The other piece of it that I have tuned into, and this is something that goes even deeper, that a lot of people don't get to right off the bat.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_01: You have to go deeper into this work to get to this piece.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: I actually, as I went deeper into disentangling my relationship with my mother, I was also able to see that I was actually carrying her memories of trauma that happened to her.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_01: So not only was I enmeshing with her in order to help her heal, I actually took on some of her traumatic memories because I had memories in my mind that I knew weren't mine.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_01: I knew didn't happen to me.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_01: And this is another piece around ancestral trauma that a lot of people don't talk about.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_01: I think mostly because they might not be aware of it.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure some people are talking about it.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't seen it talked about a whole lot.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_01: I know people can have like past life memories and stuff like that, but having memories that are not yours because you took them on from the ancestral line is a different thing that can definitely happen because I've seen it for myself and I've seen it in clients.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_01: So not only did I mesh with her too in an effort to help her heal so that I could get what I needed, but I also took on memories from her.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_01: And like when I was tuning into it on an energetic level, what was happening was there was a cord of energy between us.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: And for whatever reason, I was allowing these memories to be funneled through this cord into my consciousness.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I've done this with clients and I've done it with myself, where we cut off that cord so that you're no longer available to take on these memories and clear them because they're not yours, right?
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: But as you shut that down, what can happen is it stops that from going down the ancestral line for everybody.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: So you don't pass it on to your kids or whatever it is, right?
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_01: Because of these very deep ways that I was enmeshing with my mother, and I'm sure everyone is doing some version of this in some capacity.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: And when you come into the metamorphosis, you'll get a grip on exactly what it is.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_01: However, for me, the main way it was showing up, like I said, is inside of my relationship with my husband.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_01: So the way that all of these deeper patterns with my mother were showing up is like I said, A, I wasn't able to speak my truth with him.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_01: I would pretty much 95% of the time drop my power inside of our relationship.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_01: So it'll be hard for me to say exactly what I wanted.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_01: It'd be hard for me to speak my full truth because everything was going through the filter of making sure that he had a good reaction, that he didn't have to feel uncomfortable and that he was gonna be okay, basically.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, I didn't realize I was doing this.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_01: I understood pieces of it, but I didn't understand the full picture until I went into these deeper layers of healing.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: But when I started my business, that's when it really started to come forward to me.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_01: Because, like I said, the business is the proverbial carrot that's dangled in front of you that gets you to do the deeper work.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_01: The business will call you forward to look at all of the ways that you're not showing up in your full power.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: So as I grew my business, all of these deeper pieces started to be more and more revealed to me.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_01: And like I always say, your relationship with your partner will show you exactly what it is that you're being invited to heal.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_01: The same way the business will, right?
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_01: But for me, it was so easy for me to look at it with Matt because he literally was right in front of my face all the time.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I was able to really see the places that I was dropping my power inside the relationship, that I wasn't asking for what I wanted, and that I wasn't being in my authenticity around him.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I was not sharing things that I should have shared, not sharing how I felt, not sharing just different things that were going on because I always would be afraid of his reaction.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_01: And honestly, I just want to say in his defense, it's not really because sometimes he has strong reactions to stuff, but it was more me.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: And it was more the pattern that I had from childhood that I was projecting onto the relationship.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't necessarily because he was so scary or whatever.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_01: It was more because I didn't feel safe.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the things that we really look at in the metamorphosis is how your relationship with your mother contributed to how safe you feel in the world and how safe you feel inside of relationships, because it will impact the way that you feel safe in the world and the way you feel safe inside of relationships.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I've never met one client that I've worked with who didn't deal with some kind of issue around feeling safe inside of relationships and in the world in general.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_01: That is usually a very common thing that a lot of other issues come down to is lack of safety or guilt and shame.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's another one that's huge, but that's another topic that I'll go into at another time.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_01: So, anyway, I used the tools that you learn the metamorphosis to really heal and shift this wounding so that I could show up differently inside of my relationship.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_01: And gradually I started showing up a lot differently.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I shared a lot of this too when I did my episode about how I changed my relationship to get to 50k months.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_01: But since that time, I've done so much more work and things have shifted so much.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I have a lot more to teach around it.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_01: So that's why there's more.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_01: But that episode, if you go back and listen to it, I talk a lot about it there too.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_01: So gradually I started doing some really deep healing around the trauma that I was carrying from my mother and around the ways that I was enmeshing with her as a coping mechanism in order for me to feel safe.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_01: Because the reason why you would be enmeshing with somebody is as a coping mechanism, right?
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_01: Because you can see that as a healer, you can see that this person is in need of healing.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: This person is traumatized, this person is hurt, and this person is also responsible for my survival.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_01: So the best way for me to make sure that I survive is to make sure that this person is okay.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_01: That's what happens.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what I was doing, right?
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_01: And then because I was doing that with my mom, I ended up doing it in a very unconscious way with my relationship with my husband.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_01: And it's weird because I say unconscious way, but I feel like there were ways that I was conscious of it from the very beginning.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like I remember in the first year of our relationship, I was like 28 years old.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, I've always been super aware, but I had not gone to the depths I've gone now inside of this work.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember saying to him, I was like, I know that I'm feeling your feelings for you.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like I was aware.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_01: I just didn't know necessarily how to stop it.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_01: So using my own tools, I started gradually showing up much differently inside of my relationship.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I really had to go very deep into healing the parts of me that felt incredibly unsafe and that did not feel like I got what I needed growing up.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of what ended up happening inside of my relationship with my mother, and even both of my parents, is I was the parent in a lot of ways.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like I knew what they needed more than they knew what I needed.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so I ended up showing up for them so that they could have what they needed, but I was still lacking what I needed.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_01: And this is very common, especially for healers and empaths.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_01: And if you are super sensitive and tuned in, you can feel what your parents need and you try to give it to them in an effort to not only for them to heal, but also for you to get what you need.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_01: But what ends up happening is you feel ultimately betrayed and unsupported because you're giving something that at the age that you are, you're not emotionally ready to give.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_01: And then B, you are not getting what you need, which is that you need love, connection, support, acknowledgement, emotional support, emotional connection, someone to be present with you.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of times you didn't get that.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_01: I know I didn't get that in the way that I needed.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_01: So a lot of the healing I did was around acknowledging the pain that I felt from not getting what I needed as a child, acknowledging the pain that I felt, carrying this burden of trauma for my mother.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_01: And then being able to feel safe enough to show up inside of my relationship as my true self in my authenticity, being able to voice what I needed, being able to have difficult conversations, being able to argue and have confrontation.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_01: That was something I was not capable of before.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_01: And then what ends up happening, and this is a really important piece that I want to bring forward, is that your partner ends up changing.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I just want to illustrate this because I've had so many women ask me, you know, as they're changing, if the question becomes, well, my husband still is so stuck, you know, or my partner is still stuck in their patterns.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_01: And what do I do?
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_01: Because I'm just watching them stay stuck in their patterns and I'm growing so much.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_01: And how do I reconcile that?
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_01: And this is what I'm gonna say.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm a living example of this.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_01: First of all, you don't do anything about it, you keep doing your own work.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_01: And the best thing that you can do when you are in a relationship is you don't look at what is wrong with them.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_01: Now, obviously, there's always like a nuance to everything.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_01: If they're doing something that's violating your boundaries or something that is really hurtful to you, that's another thing.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_01: But if you're watching them struggle, for example, or you're watching them repeat the same patterns over and over again, or you're watching them flounder in life, for you to try to save them or change them or tell them what to do, 99.9% of the time is not gonna work.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_01: But what does work is you see them as the highest version of themselves.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_01: And when you see them as the highest version of themselves, there's amazing things that happen.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_01: What happens is instead of you holding them in an energy of there's something wrong with you, you hold them in an energy of inviting them to rise to the energy that you're holding them in.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_01: And you continue to do your own work, you continue to show up in the relationship in the way that you know you want to show up as your highest self, as your most present self, as your most healed self, the way that you want to be seen in a relationship, the way that you want to feel in the relationship.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_01: You do that.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_01: You don't put it on anybody else, you show up that way.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what I did.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_01: I literally for the last year have been so diligent and so intentional and have done so much work around showing up in my relationship as the version of myself that I want to be, holding my power, even when it felt really uncomfortable, fucking it up at times, and then having to go back and start over again.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_01: And every time I got triggered by him taking my own accountability and doing my own work and not making it about him, and then continuing to hold him in the highest version of himself, regardless of what I was seeing.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_01: And he's gone through a lot without sharing his personal stuff.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_01: He's gone through a lot in the last couple of years of trying to figure out what he wants to do, of coming up against his own patterns and repeating them over and over again.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_01: And instead of going into any kind of story about what he's doing wrong and what he needs to change and why I'm so much more evolved than him, because that's bullshit, I hate to say.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_01: I don't care how many times a day you meditate or how evolved you are.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_01: If you are in a relationship with someone and you desire to be with them, having that kind of mentality just doesn't get you anywhere.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_01: Even if it might be true, there's ways that I do think that I know more than Matt, but there's things that he knows a lot more than me about too.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't get stuck in that.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_01: But what I have done is continue to hold him as the highest version of himself, continue to see him as that.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_01: And the most miraculous things have happened over the last year as I've done that, as I just modeled my highest timeline and like growing my business and showing up the way I wanted to show up in our relationship and inside of my business.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_01: He's done the same thing.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I guarantee you, most of it is because I wasn't telling him what to do.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't telling him what was wrong with him.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_01: I was just seeing him as the highest version of himself.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_01: And he has brought many visions that he's had to life.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_01: And again, I don't want to share his personal business, but there have been a few things that he has dreamt of for a long time that are now coming to fruition.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I really do believe it's because of the energy that not just I held in the relationship, but both of us because of doing this work.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_01: And not only has our relationship completely changed, and he obviously starting from when I started my business till now, like he works for me, he does all the behind the scenes in my business.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_01: And my business is our main income.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_01: And the dynamics have completely shifted.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_01: And obviously, also a huge byproduct of using these tools is like just the income.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like, if you would have told me in 2020 that I would make the money that I make now, I would laugh, be like, there's not, that's never gonna happen.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's always miraculous and amazing.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_01: But evolving the way that I have shown up inside of my relationship and healing the mother wound through that.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_01: That's one of the things that I feel so passionately about.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_01: That inside the metamorphosis, I show you how to use the relationships that you have now to heal these deeper wounds from your mother wound, your father wound, all of it.
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_01: Cause it will be presented to you inside of those relationships, is just up to you to know how to get the information and navigate it.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what I teach you in the metamorphosis.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what I've done for myself.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_01: And everything is different, not only financially, but just the way that I feel inside of my relationship, our connection, the way we are on a daily basis, and getting to be creative together and creating a loving household for our kids and just like a loving environment.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_01: There's nothing that is better than that.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_01: And it really is a result of this work.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why I always say, like, the byproduct is your relationships get so much better.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_01: And it was just funny because the other day it was like, because something came to fruition for Matt that he'd been wanting to happen for a really long time.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, oh wow.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's that thing that I always say to my clients where it's like, just hold your partner in the highest regard, hold them in the energy that they can be, and they will rise to it.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_01: And that's exactly what happened.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna wrap it up because I don't want to be talking forever.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_01: But the point is, hopefully, this was a really good illustration for you as to what can happen when you do this work.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_01: And obviously, like once you get inside the program, you'll understand the deeper layers of like how the tools work and how you can use them to make the changes that I described.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_01: But all the information's there is just about learning how to apply it to your specific situation to make these changes.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what I show you how to do inside of the program.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, a lot of this will be similar when you look at the father wound, when you look at the birth story and your sibling wound, they just have a little bit of a different texture to it and can show up a little bit differently.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_01: But all of the same kind of change is available to you when you use these tools.
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I really attribute them to the way that I was able to start and grow my business so quickly is because of these tools, because of the awareness I have around trauma and how to walk through it.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_01: And this is how to do it.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_01: Anytime you feel stuck, or anytime you're feeling like you want to do something and it's not happening, there's trauma.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_01: And it's one of these four traumas.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_01: And if you know what it is and how to move through it, you will grow so quickly.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm a testament to that.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_01: My clients are too.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: Go back in the podcast.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_01: There's so many testimonies of people who went through the program and what they created.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_01: I will leave it there.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_01: Please reach out.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_01: If you want to chat with me about the metamorphosis, just reach out to me on Instagram or email infoteleysebreeze.com.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_01: We'll link it below.
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_01: Sign up before the 15th for Early Bird, but I would love to chat with you about it.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sending you all so much love, and I will talk to you soon.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for being here.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_01: Don't forget to subscribe to the show, leave a review, and share the show with your friends who you know are yearning for this type of content.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_01: When you leave a review, send us a screenshot and we'll send you a$250 credit you can apply to anything else in my world.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_01: You can stay connected with me by following me on Instagram at Elise underscore breeds and by joining my Facebook group, Financial Freedom for Spiritual Entrepreneurs, where I share all of my most fun and potent content.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_01: Make sure you download my breathwork for financial freedom at elisebreeds.com.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_01: See you next time.