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The LOVE LANGUAGE of a narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be talking about the love language of a
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  narcissist. Guess what it is?
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  Guess what? Guess what it is?
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  Guess what it is. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist. And welcome to another episode
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  of The Narcissist Code. Welcome back, welcome back,
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  welcome back, folks. Yes, the love language of a
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  narcissist or a toxic person. Y'all, if y'all haven't heard of
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  the five love languages, it is really just, you know, how
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  people like to be loved and how people like to give love and
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  receive love and things like that.
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  It's supposed to help you connect to people.
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  They're, you know, different. They're differing viewpoints on
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  it, right? There are a lot of different
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  like people have different viewpoints on them.
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  Like it's, it's true, false. Whatever.
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  Do what? Like I feel like do whatever
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  works for you if you're dealing with a narcissist, right?
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  Narcissistic people, they like to the way they like to give
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  love is through physical touch. Physical y'all, y'all should
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  have knew that already. If you've been following me for
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  any amount of time, you knew that narcissist like to give
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  love through physical touch because the anything deeper than
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  that, anything beneath the surface, anything that goes
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  beneath the surface level of emotions and connectivity,
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  Narcissistic people tend to struggle with that right.
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  They tend to struggle with showing love in a healthy,
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  emotional, emotionally effective way.
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  This super struggle love, right, this extreme struggle, like, but
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  physical stuff they can do, they can touch you, they can hug you,
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  they can shake your hand, they can like DAP you up, they can
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  give you a high five, they can clap the cheeks.
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  They can do all of that stuff, right.
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  They, they absolutely can do all of that stuff and get away with
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  it because that's how they, that's the only way to know how
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  to show love. Like that's the only way to know
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  how to give love. That's their love language.
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  Like if you, I mean, a lot of times you can ask them on a
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  first date or second date when you get in to know them.
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  What's your love language? And a lot of them are going to
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  say physical touch. Yeah, Physical, physical touch
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  to me. Is it is it necessary in an
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  intimate relationship? Is physical touch necessary?
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  Yeah, a lot of times, but a lot. But most people, when they say
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  physical touch is my love language, it's just me.
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  They like to try to sleep with you.
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  You mean they like to physical touch, like clapping cheeks
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  pretty much and whatnot, because that's the only thing they know
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  how to do to show love. Like physical touch, not only
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  just physical touch, physical things, they, they show love
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  through physicality. You know, they show love through
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  physicality. It's very rarely going to be on
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  some deep emotional stuff, right?
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  It's very rarely going to be on a deep emotional connection and
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  whatnot. Very rarely is it going to be
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  that it's going the most time. It's going to be like, here's
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  here's some, here's some, here's some touches, here's some love.
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  You know what I mean? That's how they show love.
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  That's their love language. And a lot of times, I'm not
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  saying that every person whose love language is physical touch
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  is a narcissist, but this is how it's going to come across a lot
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  of times, right? Because like, this is the only
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  way that a lot of them know how to show love is through their
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  physical touch. It's through the physicality of
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  things like that. But it's like, just tell people
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  this is the way it's going to go.
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  Like, well, Lee, how do we get them to sit down and have an
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  emotional conversation? Yeah.
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  Most narcissists cannot go beneath the surface.
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  This surface, the surface level is as far as we go.
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  You know, we dig, we, we barely beneath the surface.
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  We're like if, if you're, or if narcissists were archaeologists,
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  right, or an anthropologist who, who studies the, the dinosaur
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  fossils. I think it's a little bit of
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  it's a little bit of both, right?
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  Archaeologists dig anthropologists studied the
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  fossils. I think, I think something like
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  that they going to go narcissists would not be
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  discovering any fossils, you know what I mean?
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  We, we dig up the, the, the, the rocks in the, we're digging up
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  the rocks in the yard. We're not going any deeper than
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  that. We're not going any deeper than
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  the surface. A lot of times in these
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  relationship spaces. So this is the thing to, this is
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  the type of stuff you have to deal with.
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  This is the type of stuff we have to, you know, process and
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  this type of stuff like we're not going beneath the surface.
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  So the physical touch and they'll tell you all physical
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  touch, physical touch. But if I had to say the
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  secondary love language of a narcissist, right?
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  The, the, how they show love is giving gifts physically, the act
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  of it's anything involving physicality.
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  You know, if you don't know what the, all the five love languages
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  are, you can, of course you can Google them, but it's words of
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  affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service
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  and receiving gifts. So, but like narcissists like to
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  give gifts because that's part of physical stuff.
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  That's part of the physical, the ACT.
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  I can do it. It's something that I can do.
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  My body can move and I can do it right.
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  That's how a lot of narcissists are going to show love because
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  their body can do it. Their body can move.
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  That means they themselves can do it.
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  So this is how they go about doing it right here, right?
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  This is the process that they'll go about doing.
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  This is how they'll survive. This is how they process things,
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  and this is how they keep going forward.
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  But you as a person who's dealing with a narcissist is a
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  person who's trying to survive a narcissist.
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  This is the type of stuff that you have to deal with as well.
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  You know, this is the type of stuff you had to process.
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  They're only going to be able to show you love through the
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  physical stuff. In the beginning, it might be
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  different. In the beginning, it's going to
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  seem like it's deeper, it's going to seem like it's beneath
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  the surface, but it's really not.
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  It's really surface level type stuff.
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  You might seem like you have this deep emotional connection,
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  but like as time goes on, you'll see that it's not as deep as you
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  think it is because they they, it always goes back to the
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  physical. You know how like you're crying,
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  you're boohoo crying and you're, you don't know how what to do.
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  Like that's why a lot of times they'll try to sleep with you
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  like, oh, you're crying. How do I make you feel better?
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  How do I show my love in this situation right here?
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  Oh, you lost your parents. Here's, you know, here's some,
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  here's some clap here, let's clap some cheeks or whatever.
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  That's how they'll show it because they don't know any
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  other way to express it. You know, that's what I'm just
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  telling you. Like that's the love language of
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  the narcissist. It's typically going to be
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  physical touch or giving gifts. Giving gifts because it's
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  physical. I can do this.
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  I can do this. You know, they can give you,
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  they can say words and things like that.
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  They can say words, they can spend time with you, but it's
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  that all the type of stuff right there is like physical, if they
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  can physically do it, they can achieve it.
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  You know what I mean? But sometimes they can
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  physically do it and they still won't do it.
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  But if like if they physically can do it, they can achieve it,
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  right? But now on the other side of
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  things, on the other, on the flip side of things, how they
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  how they receive love. If you love language is is a
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  receiving type of thing, then they can do it like y'all, every
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  single love language that you're willing to do, they are willing
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  to accept from you. Every love language that you are
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  willing to do they will accept from you.
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  Like be it physical gifts, the love language, let me go back to
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  it. It can be like words of
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  affirmation like they, they love it when you tell them.
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  They love it when you tell them things about themselves when you
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  build them up. They love it when you're
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  spending, they love it when you're spelling spelling.
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  They love it when you're spending every single second of
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  time with them. They absolutely love that.
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  They thrive on it. They feed, they feed on it,
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  right? They love it when you're
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  physically touching them and being there for them and giving
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  them affection. They absolutely love acts of
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  service because you're proving that how much you care about
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  them, you know, and they love receiving gifts from you.
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  A lot of times, sometimes they don't like receiving gifts.
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  Some of the narcissistic people, I would say receiving gifts is
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  OK to some of them, but some of them don't, don't like when you
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  give them gifts because they might feel like you owe, they
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  owe you something. Now, if you give them a gift,
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  they feel like you owe them something right now.
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  You know what I mean? So that happens too.
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  Like if you give me a gift, then that means that when you give
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  them a gift that they feel like they're in debt to you right
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  now. OK, you, you gave me something.
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  Now I'm indebted to you. Now I have to do something back
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  for you. Some of them don't like don't
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  like receiving gifts, you know, but I would say to me right
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  there, they could be a male or female narcissistic difference
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  right there because I know most female narcissists love
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  receiving gifts because that you know, that's just how it works.
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  Sometimes male narcissists feel like they are indebted to you.
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  I could be wrong on that right there.
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  But like let me know if I'm let me know what y'all think on that
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  right there in the comments section.
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  It was like Lee, you're wrong. I'm fine with being wrong right
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  there, y'all. I don't want to come off as
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  sexist or anything like that. Little Lee got Lee, I was
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  rocking with you until you said that, brother, you lost me when
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  you said that. No, I don't want to lose you,
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  you know what I mean? But that's what I'm trying to do
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  right there because I think most female narcissists would like
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  receiving gifts like when I would like receiving gifts
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  because when I was dating my female narcissistic ex.
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  Do you love receiving gifts? You love receiving everything.
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  You know what I mean? There wasn't a love language
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  that she wasn't feeling and what not.
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  There wasn't a love language that she wasn't, you know, party
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  to because the love language, the five love languages are
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  typical are going to be like 5 forms of narcissistic supply.
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  If you think about it, each love language that you're giving to
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  them is going to be like a, you know, 5 forms of narcissistic
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  supply. It means you're just validating
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  them. It's a 55 ways to validate a
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  narcissist if you flip it on its head and whatnot.
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  If you, if you flip it on its head, it's not the five love
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  languages. It's the five forms of
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  narcissistic supply. When you're on the giving end,
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  when they're on the receiving end, it's the five forms of
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  narcissistic supply. But when they're on the kind of
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  without, when they're on the giving in, definitely it
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  switches up right there. So I just, I feel like don't
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  base your life on the love languages.
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  I said if it works for you in a healthy normal, in a healthy
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  relationship, then great. That's great on you, that's
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  great for you. But most times y'all, it's just,
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  I feel like it's just, it's not pop science.
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  I wouldn't say it's pop science, but I would say most times in
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  these relationship dynamics, it just doesn't end up working out
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  the best if you just base it on this right here, because I feel
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  like you can have different love languages and still coexist, but
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  not what they narcissist. Because like, as long as you are
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  giving, they will be taking, you know, as long as you are giving,
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  they will be taking as long as you're willing to give, they are
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  willing to receive, you know, and I feel like as long as
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  they're receiving, they feel like they're they're in, they're
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  in the good and whatnot. Actually, I turn these lights
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  on, y'all. They're like little fruit flies
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  that get in here like go crazy, and they just like go towards
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  the lie, you know? You ever seen the Bug's Life,
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  the movie of Bug's Life? Not towards the lie, I can't.
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  It's so beautiful. I'm a connoisseur of old
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  cartoons, y'all. But those are my thoughts on the
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  love languages, y'all. If you haven't already, check
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  out my call in. You can call in and leave a
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  voicemail. I'm going to start Voicemail
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  But anyways, y'all, I appreciate y'all.
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  I appreciate y'all so much. Thank you for tuning in and of
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  course, y'all mention him. This is out.
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  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.