Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / 421. Live Show Questions - Imposter syndrome, big decisions, Tips for improving memory and more

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421. Live Show Questions - Imposter syndrome, big decisions, Tips for improving memory and more · Do You F*cking Mind?

0:11
Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful people, and welcome to the episode of today.
0:15
Speaker 1: So this episode is going to be roughly a broad
0:18
Speaker 1: advice episode. And the reason I wanted to do this
0:21
Speaker 1: is because I've recently come off my live show tour,
0:24
Speaker 1: which I've spoken about a thousand times one of the
0:26
Speaker 1: best experiences of my life, unbelievable for so many reasons.
0:29
Speaker 1: I even had a bean from Argentina bring me Alphacortez
0:32
Speaker 1: if you know what that is, just anyway iconic meeting
0:36
Speaker 1: you all. But having said that, at the end of
0:38
Speaker 1: each live show, I do a thirty ish minute Q
0:42
Speaker 1: and A. And what I would do at the start
0:44
Speaker 1: of every show is there would be QR codes kind
0:47
Speaker 1: of all over the venue and also up on the
0:49
Speaker 1: big screen, and people would scan the QR code and
0:51
Speaker 1: they could submit their question. And then at the very
0:54
Speaker 1: end I would be able to answer your questions live
0:58
Speaker 1: on the spot, so I would see the questions at
1:01
Speaker 1: the same time that you guys would see the questions,
1:03
Speaker 1: and it was like a really raw way of you know,
1:07
Speaker 1: being able to answer your questions in that way. But
1:10
Speaker 1: there were so many questions that got sent through that
1:13
Speaker 1: I only got to answer a very small percentage overall
1:16
Speaker 1: across all the shows of the questions. So I thought,
1:20
Speaker 1: why not get an episode together answering a few more
1:23
Speaker 1: of these questions that came through in the live show.
1:25
Speaker 1: So I got Shanai to send a bunch of the
1:28
Speaker 1: questions through and I can start kind of working through
1:30
Speaker 1: them in this episode. Yeah, and answer your fucking questions.
1:37
Speaker 1: Life update. I have moved, so I have my apartment
1:40
Speaker 1: that tarant and I will Turan and I live in
1:42
Speaker 1: our apartment, and I have my office and I have
1:45
Speaker 1: now We then decided like, how are we going to
1:48
Speaker 1: make this work moving forward? We've got the twins on
1:51
Speaker 1: the way. We've you know, as far as maternity leave
1:55
Speaker 1: is concerned, I'm not like I work for myself. I
1:57
Speaker 1: don't want to be taking like six months off the pod.
2:00
Speaker 1: That's not what I intend to do. I want to
2:02
Speaker 1: still be able to work whenever possible. I'm trying to
2:04
Speaker 1: bank episodes before the babies come so I can still
2:07
Speaker 1: have episodes going out so I can maintain that consistency
2:10
Speaker 1: within the podcast. I also want to be getting back
2:13
Speaker 1: to work a lot sooner, not at such an intense pace,
2:17
Speaker 1: but still be able to contribute to the podcast and
2:19
Speaker 1: doing things like that. So we were like, Okay, we
2:21
Speaker 1: need to get a bigger place because our apartment is
2:24
Speaker 1: We loved our apartments so much, but it's a one bedroom,
2:27
Speaker 1: tiny apartment that we just absolutely could like. It was
2:30
Speaker 1: really funny because when we found out that we were pregnant,
2:32
Speaker 1: we're like, maybe maybe with a baby we could make
2:36
Speaker 1: it work. For the first few months we could squeeze in,
2:38
Speaker 1: and then we found out it was twins and we're like,
2:40
Speaker 1: not a fucking chance. Let's get the fuck out of here.
2:41
Speaker 1: We need to get the fuck out of here. So
2:43
Speaker 1: we were looking, well, like do we sell and buy?
2:46
Speaker 1: Do we rent? We were like looking at all our options,
2:49
Speaker 1: and then basically we came to the conclusion that we
2:52
Speaker 1: are we found a place that we're renting. We didn't
2:54
Speaker 1: find anything that we wanted to buy in the area
2:57
Speaker 1: enough that we're going to sell our place to buy
2:59
Speaker 1: something else. So basically we ended up deciding we are
3:03
Speaker 1: going to rent out our place, rent something and I
3:08
Speaker 1: was like, I'm going to get rid of my office.
3:10
Speaker 1: Let's rent a bigger place where I can have one
3:12
Speaker 1: of the rooms as like my office space. Long story short,
3:16
Speaker 1: we found the perfect place on the same street that
3:19
Speaker 1: we live on, which is ideal, because we did not
3:21
Speaker 1: want to move from the area. That was one of
3:23
Speaker 1: my big criteria. We did not want to move from
3:25
Speaker 1: the area because I just feel like, based on everything
3:29
Speaker 1: that I've listened to with people having kids and you know,
3:31
Speaker 1: the big changes that occur is that you want to
3:34
Speaker 1: maintain some whenever possible. Obviously, you're trying to maintain some
3:38
Speaker 1: semblance of stability of your life, your original life. And
3:42
Speaker 1: for me, I live really close to you know live
3:46
Speaker 1: you know, my best friends, I've got live, I've got
3:48
Speaker 1: Luke Aston, I've got Lizzie, I've got you, like, we
3:50
Speaker 1: all live really close. Not to mention Tyrone's family lives
3:54
Speaker 1: in the same suburb. We just were like, God, we
3:58
Speaker 1: really don't want to leave the area because this is
4:00
Speaker 1: kind of and not to mention Habib's friends at the
4:03
Speaker 1: dog park, like Habib's got his group of friends and
4:06
Speaker 1: we didn't want to pull our dog out of the
4:09
Speaker 1: dog park anyway, It's hilarious, but we just really that
4:12
Speaker 1: was like our main thing, Like that was our thing.
4:15
Speaker 1: And we found a place on the same street. So
4:17
Speaker 1: I gave up the office lease, moved the fucking office here.
4:21
Speaker 1: We moved our apartment. The last two weeks has been
4:24
Speaker 1: a shambled. You probably can't see it on the film
4:26
Speaker 1: because I've got like nice lighting and whatever. But my
4:29
Speaker 1: skin has been blowing up from all the dust because
4:32
Speaker 1: I'm very you know, love this for me, but I'm
4:35
Speaker 1: very allergic to the fucking dust mines. And like when
4:37
Speaker 1: you move, you go, like you access places that you
4:40
Speaker 1: haven't accessed in a long time. In your office anyway,
4:43
Speaker 1: dust everywhere. My skin's been blowing up. But good times.
4:46
Speaker 1: I am now in my new home, new setup, recording
4:49
Speaker 1: the podcast from my home. I've got an office set
4:51
Speaker 1: up here. It is iconic. I am obsessed. The morning
4:53
Speaker 1: light and afternoon light is amazing, so I can't complain.
4:57
Speaker 1: And this is where we will raise the twin that
5:00
Speaker 1: list for the first like a couple of years of
5:01
Speaker 1: their lives. So let's get through to your questions now.
5:04
Speaker 1: I am going to preface this by saying that I
5:06
Speaker 1: have not seen these questions yet. I wanted to do
5:08
Speaker 1: it as if it were a live show format. So
5:11
Speaker 1: as I read these questions out to you, I have
5:13
Speaker 1: it's the first time I'm reading them, and it's the
5:16
Speaker 1: first time you're listening to it, so we kind of
5:18
Speaker 1: answer it at the same time. So sometimes, yeah, sometimes
5:23
Speaker 1: I take a bit longer to answer because I'm like, oh,
5:25
Speaker 1: I got to think about the answer. Okay, first one,
5:27
Speaker 1: this is easy. Are you pregnant? Yes? Next one, great question?
5:32
Speaker 1: Next one, question number two. How do you retain all
5:36
Speaker 1: the information you learn? Any hacks or tips for retention? Yeah, Look,
5:42
Speaker 1: there's a lot of information that I have not retained,
5:45
Speaker 1: but it just takes some light revision for it to
5:48
Speaker 1: jump start or like refresh the memory. So it's not
5:50
Speaker 1: like I completely lose it, but to have it at
5:53
Speaker 1: the forefront of my memory. There's a lot of things
5:55
Speaker 1: that are not at the forefront. So when I do
5:57
Speaker 1: brain facts, when I do a lot of things, it's
5:59
Speaker 1: not like I'm just going to whip out a brain fact.
6:01
Speaker 1: Very often I need to be delving back into the
6:04
Speaker 1: research or reading up on something for the first time. Ever.
6:07
Speaker 1: When I'm doing a brain fact, however, I find by
6:10
Speaker 1: far the best way to retain is to teach or
6:15
Speaker 1: to explain to someone. And if you can't explain it
6:18
Speaker 1: to someone. I used to do this when I was
6:22
Speaker 1: studying at UNI. I would even just record my voice
6:24
Speaker 1: even if I'd never listened to it again. It's not
6:26
Speaker 1: about the act of having to listen to it back.
6:27
Speaker 1: But I'd record myself trying to explain the concept that
6:33
Speaker 1: I had just learned. And you will notice the gaps
6:36
Speaker 1: in your knowledge when you hear yourself out loud trying
6:40
Speaker 1: to explain something. And not only are you noticing the
6:42
Speaker 1: gaps in your knowledge, but you're a consolidating the information
6:45
Speaker 1: because it's repetition. B you're using different regions of the
6:48
Speaker 1: brain to focus on the same topics, 're using more
6:50
Speaker 1: of the brain. The likelihood if you retaining that information
6:53
Speaker 1: is going to be higher than just reading, or reading
6:56
Speaker 1: out loud is really good, or reading and then writing,
6:58
Speaker 1: but then explain concepts and themes out loud. Ideally, if
7:06
Speaker 1: you have someone who can be fucked also listening to you,
7:10
Speaker 1: that's the best case scenario when you're teaching someone something,
7:13
Speaker 1: because when you're teaching someone something, they then ask you
7:16
Speaker 1: questions in return. And then so if you have a
7:18
Speaker 1: study partner who's kind of on a similar level, that's
7:22
Speaker 1: really good because you can ask questions, you can prod
7:24
Speaker 1: for more information, and then you really start to consolidate
7:28
Speaker 1: that information. It's kind of when you're learning a language.
7:30
Speaker 1: It's all well and good to be able to read
7:32
Speaker 1: a book to comprehend a language, but until you start
7:35
Speaker 1: speaking it, you cannot actually learn the language. And for me,
7:40
Speaker 1: I noticed that the fastest way to retain the language
7:45
Speaker 1: is when I'm thrown in the deep end, put in
7:46
Speaker 1: really uncomfortable situations where I'm struggling to communicate because I'm
7:52
Speaker 1: speaking to a native speaker and I'm like, and I'm
7:55
Speaker 1: under a pressure. When I do that, the words I
7:58
Speaker 1: learn in those situations are burnt into my memory. If
8:02
Speaker 1: I have a conversation when I'm in France and someone
8:04
Speaker 1: corrects me on the pronunciation of something, I will remember
8:06
Speaker 1: that pronunciation versus reading a book back in Australia at
8:11
Speaker 1: home that's French, if that makes sense. So basically, ideally,
8:14
Speaker 1: teach someone who can communicate back to you and you're
8:16
Speaker 1: getting feedback. If not, record yourself explaining the concept and
8:21
Speaker 1: you'll be amazed at your retention will increase dramatically. I'm
8:27
Speaker 1: in the lock in and Chase your dream season of life.
8:30
Speaker 1: What encouraged you when you had to really believe in
8:34
Speaker 1: yourself and be in the solo lane to build that vision.
8:38
Speaker 1: So look, this is a really good question because for
8:43
Speaker 1: me personally, the thing that encouraged me is at the
8:45
Speaker 1: time I believed like and I'm talking about when I
8:49
Speaker 1: did like the Big Trip over season, I bought it
8:52
Speaker 1: one way ticket, equipment, all my jobs and all of that.
8:54
Speaker 1: But for me, the benefit quote unquote that I had
8:58
Speaker 1: was that I felt like I was in a position
9:00
Speaker 1: where I had nothing to lose and I was quite
9:01
Speaker 1: unsatisfied with my life. So I think sometimes when you're
9:05
Speaker 1: in a position where you've reached a level of dissatisfaction
9:08
Speaker 1: and you kind of feel like you've hit rock bottom.
9:12
Speaker 1: Whether I had hit rock bottom or not, I don't know,
9:14
Speaker 1: but compared to other times in my life, it definitely
9:17
Speaker 1: was like a low point for me, and I really
9:21
Speaker 1: found it kind of when you feel like you don't
9:24
Speaker 1: have much to lose, at least personally. I had, you know,
9:27
Speaker 1: relationships and other people to lose, but personally I was like, well,
9:30
Speaker 1: I don't have much to lose. I'm quite miserable. I
9:31
Speaker 1: don't really love my life right now, So it's quite
9:34
Speaker 1: easy quote unquote for me to take that jump and
9:38
Speaker 1: really push myself to do something different. Okay, you can
9:42
Speaker 1: still do that. You can still do that without having
9:46
Speaker 1: to reach rock bottom. Ideally, you want to be able
9:48
Speaker 1: to do it without having to reach rock bottom because
9:50
Speaker 1: you don't want to have to wait until you're in
9:52
Speaker 1: a miserable state every time you want to create massive
9:54
Speaker 1: change in your life. You really don't want to do that.
9:56
Speaker 1: So if you are in this season of your life
9:59
Speaker 1: instead of waiting to hit rock bottom like I did,
10:02
Speaker 1: and then you're kind of being shoved to change, otherwise
10:05
Speaker 1: you're just going to be miserable. You could. I think
10:07
Speaker 1: a really good thing to ask yourself is what would
10:10
Speaker 1: it take for me to change my life versus what
10:13
Speaker 1: would it take for me to keep going the way
10:16
Speaker 1: things are going? Because whether it be you're stuck in
10:19
Speaker 1: a relationship that you're not really happy with, You're inner
10:22
Speaker 1: life that you dreamer for different life. But you think
10:26
Speaker 1: I'm comfortable enough. I don't love what I'm doing. I
10:30
Speaker 1: kind of hate my job, but it's paying the bills.
10:32
Speaker 1: It's kind of like I'm surviving, Like I'm ticking away,
10:35
Speaker 1: I'm cruising along. It's fine. So you kind of think, well,
10:38
Speaker 1: I don't have to change right now because I don't
10:40
Speaker 1: have like this fucking flame that's burning me from the
10:43
Speaker 1: inside out, like I can kind of cruise along. The
10:45
Speaker 1: problem with that mentality, the problem with not hitting rock bottom,
10:49
Speaker 1: is that you say, oh, I'm gonna get sick of
10:51
Speaker 1: this really soon, and then I'm going to make a change.
10:53
Speaker 1: But you don't give yourself credit for how resilient you
10:58
Speaker 1: are and how long you can put up with a
10:59
Speaker 1: shitty situation. We are capable of putting up with shitty
11:02
Speaker 1: situations for decades. Okay, that's not a good thing, but
11:06
Speaker 1: we're capable of it. We are capable of staying in
11:09
Speaker 1: a bad relationship for decades. We are capable of living
11:13
Speaker 1: our entire lives being miserable, with our life, unsatisfied, untapped
11:18
Speaker 1: potential until we are on our deathbed. The question is
11:21
Speaker 1: is that you are happy with that or not. So
11:24
Speaker 1: don't say one day, I'll get sick of this, because
11:26
Speaker 1: the chances are that it will take very long for
11:29
Speaker 1: you to get so sick of it that you will
11:31
Speaker 1: snap and quit everything and leave. You've got to be
11:34
Speaker 1: the one that's going to pull the plug first. You've
11:37
Speaker 1: got to be the one that's got to take initiative.
11:39
Speaker 1: But where is the benchmark, what is the defining tipping point?
11:44
Speaker 1: And so you have to determine what that defining tipping
11:47
Speaker 1: point is. What does it take for me to stay
11:49
Speaker 1: and what does it take for me to leave? If
11:51
Speaker 1: I were to stay in this lifestyle for the next
11:54
Speaker 1: five years, what would have to happen? And when would
11:58
Speaker 1: it be? My boss would have to quit and I'd
12:00
Speaker 1: get a promotion into the perfect role, and then I'd
12:03
Speaker 1: finally love working in this company, and then it actually
12:05
Speaker 1: would be enjoyable. Would it be I would overcome this
12:09
Speaker 1: heartbreak and I like, what is it? But you have
12:12
Speaker 1: to know the benchmark. If you can't answer that question,
12:16
Speaker 1: then it's no wonder why you feel like I don't
12:19
Speaker 1: have that momentum that's going to push me to really
12:24
Speaker 1: chase my dreams. And most of us are stuck in
12:26
Speaker 1: that position. So don't think like, oh my god, I know,
12:28
Speaker 1: I know everyone else can do it, but I can't know.
12:30
Speaker 1: Most people are in this position where they're like, it's
12:33
Speaker 1: not bad enough that I have to leave, but then
12:36
Speaker 1: because of that, they stay in this position for a
12:38
Speaker 1: very long time. You don't want to be in a
12:40
Speaker 1: position of running away from something you don't like. You
12:43
Speaker 1: want to be in a position of running towards something
12:45
Speaker 1: that you really like. When you are inspired enough, when
12:48
Speaker 1: you are interested enough. Okay, interest, because inspiration is good,
12:53
Speaker 1: but interest do I have a burning interest in this
12:56
Speaker 1: thing that I want to pursue, this thing that I
12:59
Speaker 1: want to look up and read into it. And because
13:02
Speaker 1: inspiration is One day I'm talking to my friends of
13:04
Speaker 1: at lunch and I think, fuck, how good would it
13:06
Speaker 1: be to you know, start this course or to move
13:10
Speaker 1: to another country, and oh my god, it is zon Zon.
13:12
Speaker 1: But then I get back into my normal routine. I'm
13:14
Speaker 1: not doing anything about it. Interest is fuck. Every spare
13:18
Speaker 1: minute I have, I'm studying, I'm reading up on this
13:21
Speaker 1: topic that I really like. I'm looking Let's say I
13:23
Speaker 1: want to be an architect. I'm going to start like
13:25
Speaker 1: looking into it. I'm looking into architecture shows. I'm following
13:27
Speaker 1: architecture accounts. I'm really interested, Like what would it take?
13:29
Speaker 1: I'm actually doing the research. I'm interested. Okay, So those
13:33
Speaker 1: are the things that are going to really push you
13:35
Speaker 1: to chase something. We don't want to run away. We're
13:38
Speaker 1: going to run towards. Hopefully that helped Next one, the
13:43
Speaker 1: demographic of your audience is mostly female, and in all
13:46
Speaker 1: my healing work this has been the same. Is there
13:48
Speaker 1: any neuroscience explanation as to why men seem to be
13:51
Speaker 1: so less likely to seek deeper change or is it
13:54
Speaker 1: really just our heavily gendered stereotypes and upbringing. Look, I
13:59
Speaker 1: gen only believe it is our heavily gendered stereotypes and
14:02
Speaker 1: up bringing massively, because I don't think there's any reason
14:07
Speaker 1: why men. And the reason I say this is because
14:10
Speaker 1: there are men just a much smaller percentage that are
14:12
Speaker 1: on this journey, that are on this healing journey, that
14:15
Speaker 1: are becoming super self aware, that are really making the
14:18
Speaker 1: change for themselves, that are able to be accountable, and
14:22
Speaker 1: just like they're fucking killing it. I've met many on
14:25
Speaker 1: my journey that listen to my podcast, and even once
14:29
Speaker 1: that don't obviously, but yes, I think that the reason
14:33
Speaker 1: why it's primarily women is because of the very strong
14:38
Speaker 1: stereotypes and how we are raised. And it's detrimental to
14:41
Speaker 1: everyone with these stereotypes, because it's all well and good
14:45
Speaker 1: for women to be making all this change, right, but
14:48
Speaker 1: then we kind of reach a roadblock when our you know,
14:51
Speaker 1: when the other half of the population isn't you know.
14:54
Speaker 1: And it's also really detrimental for the men themselves because
14:58
Speaker 1: they're raised in a particular way, not learning to be
15:01
Speaker 1: super self critical or not learning to really like be
15:04
Speaker 1: introspective and pay attention to their emotions and more importantly
15:08
Speaker 1: talk about their emotions and how they process things with
15:10
Speaker 1: their peers, with their friends, that when it comes to
15:14
Speaker 1: wanting to create change, they're a little bit lost in
15:16
Speaker 1: how to do that. You know, that vulnerability part of things.
15:19
Speaker 1: One thing with women is that we are very used
15:21
Speaker 1: to being vulnerable, whereas a lot of men are not
15:25
Speaker 1: raised in a space where they can feel comfortable being vulnerable.
15:29
Speaker 1: It's happening more and more now, and I'm loving I'm
15:31
Speaker 1: loving what I'm saying. But in general, it's got to
15:35
Speaker 1: do with this ability to feel vulnerable, to be able
15:37
Speaker 1: to just talk about it without being like, oh, I'm weak.
15:40
Speaker 1: It's a weakness because when women talk about, you know,
15:43
Speaker 1: wanting to change or I'm going to start this new
15:45
Speaker 1: thing or I'm going to like improve this on myself,
15:47
Speaker 1: no one looks at it as like, oh, that's a weakness.
15:49
Speaker 1: They almost look at it as like, oh, yeah, yep,
15:51
Speaker 1: that's just what all women do. But you know, I
15:54
Speaker 1: think men When a man does it, I think it's
15:56
Speaker 1: phenomenonally great. That shows a lot of strength of character,
15:58
Speaker 1: that shows a lot of like my self awareness, t
16:00
Speaker 1: green flags, green flags, emotional intelligence. But I think men
16:04
Speaker 1: may believe that that would be a sign of weakness,
16:08
Speaker 1: that they need, that they're aware that they need to
16:09
Speaker 1: change it, that they need to improve. So do I Yeah,
16:12
Speaker 1: I think it's not a neuroscience thing. It's not that
16:14
Speaker 1: they're not capable, not at all. They absolutely are very,
16:17
Speaker 1: very fucking capable. I don't think there's a difference in
16:20
Speaker 1: the genders neuroscientifically, but I think it has got to
16:24
Speaker 1: do with stereotypes and upbringing for sure, even how children
16:27
Speaker 1: are raised, Like you look at how kids are raised
16:29
Speaker 1: and how they're treated differently, you know, Like I was
16:31
Speaker 1: given that I don't know what gender my kids are
16:34
Speaker 1: going to be, So I was looking at all these
16:35
Speaker 1: different things about genders and when people talk about raising
16:38
Speaker 1: their kids, and one of the things is they talk about,
16:42
Speaker 1: you know, oh, girls are going to be really hard.
16:44
Speaker 1: Girls are going to be really hard, but boys are
16:45
Speaker 1: a lot easier. Why is they're this stereotype that boys
16:49
Speaker 1: are a lot easier. It's almost like boys are given
16:52
Speaker 1: like this free card to be like boys do whatever
16:56
Speaker 1: you want, like, but they're not being held accountable. Young
16:59
Speaker 1: boys are not being held acountable for all their actions
17:01
Speaker 1: and behaviors as teenagers and being responsible. But girls are.
17:04
Speaker 1: And because girls are being held accountable, it's almost like, oh,
17:07
Speaker 1: girls are harder. But I don't think that's the case
17:09
Speaker 1: at all. I think that you could raise well. I mean,
17:12
Speaker 1: maybe I'm fucking put I've got to put my words,
17:15
Speaker 1: you know, put my fucking what do you call it?
17:17
Speaker 1: Put my money where my mouth is once the kids
17:18
Speaker 1: are born. But I believe that a lot of raising
17:21
Speaker 1: children should be the same as far as accountability and
17:24
Speaker 1: what you're teaching them and all of that. Anyway, next question,
17:28
Speaker 1: I've listened to countless episodes about booking that travel trip.
17:31
Speaker 1: So I did it, and I'm doing a volunteer program
17:33
Speaker 1: in Thailand for a month in twenty twenty six. Amazing. However,
17:37
Speaker 1: I'm finding a real urge to move to Rome for
17:40
Speaker 1: six to twelve months. Due to my current career, I
17:42
Speaker 1: can't leave Melbourne for six months of the year and
17:45
Speaker 1: the other six months I'm trying to squeeze in my unicorse.
17:47
Speaker 1: I feel trapped in my current lifestyle, and I am
17:50
Speaker 1: continuously trying to find ways to be spontaneous and add
17:53
Speaker 1: excitement to my stagnant routine. But I don't think that
17:55
Speaker 1: this is sustainable for the next ten years, roughly how
17:58
Speaker 1: long I believe I will have left in my current career.
18:01
Speaker 1: How do I work through this feeling of being stuck
18:03
Speaker 1: and find adventure in my current lifestyle. PS love you
18:08
Speaker 1: so much. You've been incredible and incredible inspiration and part
18:10
Speaker 1: of my growth and personal development. Okay, one thing I
18:13
Speaker 1: am going to say to you is how possible is it?
18:16
Speaker 1: Because you're saying move to Rome for six to twelve months,
18:20
Speaker 1: you said six of those months you have to be
18:24
Speaker 1: in Melbourne for work, the other six you're studying UNI.
18:27
Speaker 1: My advice to you would be that if it's something
18:31
Speaker 1: that you think is only possible in this era of
18:35
Speaker 1: your life, then you absolutely need to action it. So
18:38
Speaker 1: what I mean by that is you going away to
18:42
Speaker 1: Rome for six to twelve months would require deferring and
18:46
Speaker 1: maybe putting a pause on your career. I don't know
18:48
Speaker 1: if you can do your career when you're in Rome. Okay,
18:50
Speaker 1: but at least deferring UNI. I would imagine so require
18:52
Speaker 1: putting a pause and then going and having an experience
18:55
Speaker 1: and then coming back. Now, if this experience can be
18:59
Speaker 1: done at any point in your life, then maybe it's
19:03
Speaker 1: not urgent. However, the reason I say this is because
19:06
Speaker 1: look at me. For example, I always have this burning
19:08
Speaker 1: desire to go to Europe and travel and blahl lah lah.
19:10
Speaker 1: Right now, I can still travel and go to Europe
19:13
Speaker 1: and all that, but my life experience traveling now with
19:16
Speaker 1: children is going to be vastly different to living alone
19:19
Speaker 1: in a little apartment in Paris. Teaching polarate is fucking
19:22
Speaker 1: doing you know, like very different. So if you're looking
19:26
Speaker 1: at your life right now and you think is this
19:29
Speaker 1: a one time opportunity, because later on in my life
19:33
Speaker 1: this kind of opportunity would look worlds apart different than
19:37
Speaker 1: the answer is, I need to prioritize this thing because
19:41
Speaker 1: you will never get that opportunity back. In that way,
19:44
Speaker 1: if you can go to Rome independently alone as a
19:47
Speaker 1: personal adventure where you're doing this thing, do it. Trust me,
19:52
Speaker 1: you regret the things you don't do, You rarely regret
19:57
Speaker 1: the things you do, and the reason you rarely regret
20:00
Speaker 1: the things you do is because at the time of
20:02
Speaker 1: making the decision to do that thing, it's what you
20:05
Speaker 1: believe is the right thing. Most of the time. Most
20:08
Speaker 1: of the time you look back and think, oh my god,
20:12
Speaker 1: that was a fucking dumb idea. But it's hard to
20:15
Speaker 1: regret it because when I chose to do that thing,
20:18
Speaker 1: it was all I could think about. It's all I
20:20
Speaker 1: wanted to do. It didn't work out, but that was
20:23
Speaker 1: all the only thing that was on my mind, Like
20:25
Speaker 1: I had to see this thing through. So it's almost
20:26
Speaker 1: hard to regret it. But what we regret is when
20:29
Speaker 1: we have a burning desire to do something, but then
20:31
Speaker 1: we're like, I pick the safe path. I'll pick the
20:33
Speaker 1: safe path. I'll keep doing what I'm doing. Do it
20:35
Speaker 1: intelligently though, Like don't throw an amazing career down the
20:38
Speaker 1: drain and blow all your money and then just go
20:42
Speaker 1: and get drunk in rome for a month. Like I'm
20:43
Speaker 1: not talking about that, but I'm saying is if this
20:45
Speaker 1: is a valuable life experience, it's been like chipping away
20:48
Speaker 1: at you burning desire, and you can defer what you're doing.
20:53
Speaker 1: You need to do that, okay, because trust me, time
20:57
Speaker 1: is going to pass, and you don't want to be
20:58
Speaker 1: looking back thinking why the fuck didn't I just do that.
21:01
Speaker 1: Money's going to come and go in your life, but
21:03
Speaker 1: these experiences you hold on to forever. Sense, do you
21:10
Speaker 1: have any tools for overcoming imposter syndrome? I'm thirty two
21:13
Speaker 1: and successful in my career and have crippling imposter syndrome
21:17
Speaker 1: to the point where I don't think I'm worthy of
21:19
Speaker 1: the promotion I am training for. How can I rewire
21:22
Speaker 1: my brain? Yeah, imposter syndrome definitely come. It's got to
21:26
Speaker 1: do with worthiness, Okay, a feeling of worthiness, and you
21:30
Speaker 1: have to kind of dig a little deeper and ask yourself,
21:33
Speaker 1: why do I feel Why do I feel like I
21:36
Speaker 1: am not worthy for this position? Because very often, if
21:40
Speaker 1: you break it down logically, most people who suffer from
21:44
Speaker 1: imposter syndrome, it's this background noise in the head, right,
21:47
Speaker 1: background noise, background notice, because they're that default mode network
21:50
Speaker 1: that runs in the background when we're not focusing on something.
21:53
Speaker 1: And I've a whole whole episode on the default mode network,
21:56
Speaker 1: so go check that out. But this whole default mode
21:58
Speaker 1: network is kind of oh, you know, I'm not good enough,
22:02
Speaker 1: I'm not worthy enough or not whatever, I'm not. But
22:04
Speaker 1: then when you get someone who's got imposter syndrome to
22:06
Speaker 1: actually logically break down, am I worthy of this role?
22:09
Speaker 1: Can I do the tasks required of me? Most of
22:12
Speaker 1: the time, almost all the time they come back and say, no, no, no, Logically,
22:19
Speaker 1: logically I can do the job. I know I can
22:21
Speaker 1: do it. I know that it's not it's just that
22:23
Speaker 1: I have this underlying feeling. So you've got to ask yourself, Okay,
22:26
Speaker 1: where is this where is this feeling coming from? Right?
22:29
Speaker 1: Because I think most of the time we are just
22:32
Speaker 1: so used to thinking you need X amount of qualification,
22:36
Speaker 1: you need this amount of especially women, especially women, women
22:40
Speaker 1: feel like they have to be overqualified for the position.
22:43
Speaker 1: They have to be better than everyone else in order
22:45
Speaker 1: to get the job, you know, Whereas like a lot
22:48
Speaker 1: of people who get the job, it's not that they
22:49
Speaker 1: were better than everyone else, it's that they were good
22:52
Speaker 1: enough for the job. And then they'll probably charismatic as well,
22:54
Speaker 1: and so the employer was like, vibes and you can
22:58
Speaker 1: do the job. Great. You know, it's this confidence, it's
23:00
Speaker 1: this air of like, yeah, I can take care of it.
23:02
Speaker 1: I'm not going to drown in a glass of water.
23:04
Speaker 1: It's fine, it's whatever. I think a lot of the
23:06
Speaker 1: time people that go places in life aren't necessarily the
23:10
Speaker 1: best ones. They're the ones that you know, we're qualified enough.
23:13
Speaker 1: I don't think you can get through life with not
23:16
Speaker 1: knowing what you're fucking doing. I don't believe like fake
23:18
Speaker 1: it till you make it only applies to certain things
23:20
Speaker 1: in your life, not to everything. But I think we
23:23
Speaker 1: have to look at it as you know, we need
23:25
Speaker 1: to break down this need to be the best in
23:28
Speaker 1: order to be good enough to do something okay, and
23:31
Speaker 1: then start to really own what you're good at and
23:34
Speaker 1: talk about it, because at the beginning it's going to
23:37
Speaker 1: feel really uncomfortable. But then you're going to start to
23:40
Speaker 1: be like, no, I'm comfortable doing that because like when
23:43
Speaker 1: I used to teach politis, for example, I would be
23:47
Speaker 1: very good in our team meetings when we'd have like
23:50
Speaker 1: when the owner would get together with all the other
23:51
Speaker 1: trainers and whatever. I'd be very good at singing my praises,
23:55
Speaker 1: but also highlighting where I'm what I'm not good at.
23:57
Speaker 1: I'd say, look, I'm not really good at this, I'm
23:58
Speaker 1: not really good at that. I'm happy to learn if
24:00
Speaker 1: anyone's willing to teach me, if they want me to
24:01
Speaker 1: take over that thing, but they're not my strength. However,
24:04
Speaker 1: I am the best at this. You can rely on
24:06
Speaker 1: me for this, and I will always come through with this.
24:09
Speaker 1: And once you start voicing that out loud, then people
24:12
Speaker 1: are like, true, she does always come forward with this.
24:16
Speaker 1: She actually is really qualified to that. You have to
24:18
Speaker 1: show people that you know you are capable of the job.
24:22
Speaker 1: You don't have to be the best at it, but
24:24
Speaker 1: you've got to express to other people I know I
24:27
Speaker 1: can do this job, because we're not all fucked with
24:30
Speaker 1: sitting here. You didn't hire me because you're an idiot
24:32
Speaker 1: and I'm incompetent, and I didn't get this job out
24:34
Speaker 1: of like a freak accident. You hired me because I
24:38
Speaker 1: was qualified, and I got the job because I know
24:40
Speaker 1: what I'm fucking doing, all right. Imposter syndrome is a
24:43
Speaker 1: waste of your time, So you need to really nip
24:45
Speaker 1: it in the bud, and you need to start changing
24:47
Speaker 1: your language around your capabilities because it's very easy to
24:51
Speaker 1: get caught into the loop of imposter syndrome because anyone,
24:54
Speaker 1: anyone can point out someone who's more qualified than them,
24:56
Speaker 1: who knows more than them, who probably is better for
24:59
Speaker 1: the job than they are. But where the fuck is
25:00
Speaker 1: that person? They're not here, are they? So I'm here.
25:03
Speaker 1: We're here now, this is the fucking situation. I'm the
25:06
Speaker 1: one in the position, So I'm going to do what
25:08
Speaker 1: I can with this position, all right. So I think
25:11
Speaker 1: that's kind of how you want to look at it,
25:12
Speaker 1: Like you know, it's it's the more you focus on
25:18
Speaker 1: your unworthiness, the more unworthy you're going to feel. The
25:21
Speaker 1: more you focus on what strengths you bring and how
25:23
Speaker 1: good you could be at this role and how good
25:25
Speaker 1: you are at the role and what your knowledge is.
25:27
Speaker 1: The more you're going to do that, and the more
25:28
Speaker 1: people are going to see that in you, and they're
25:30
Speaker 1: not going to question your ability. All right. So yeah,
25:34
Speaker 1: that would be my that would be my advice. Okay,
25:39
Speaker 1: if you launched a podcast tomorrow, what would you do differently?
25:45
Speaker 1: This is a really good question. Look, knowing what I
25:48
Speaker 1: know now, what would I do differently? I actually look,
25:52
Speaker 1: without tooting my own horn, especially straight after talking about
25:55
Speaker 1: imposter syndrome, I actually think I did a really really
25:58
Speaker 1: good job launching the podcast because because I didn't really
26:03
Speaker 1: know exactly what I was doing. In a way, it
26:04
Speaker 1: really helped because I didn't second guess myself. I wasn't
26:08
Speaker 1: I didn't have much insight into the industry at all
26:11
Speaker 1: when I started the podcast, so it kind of made
26:13
Speaker 1: it a lot more raw, a lot more authentic, and
26:16
Speaker 1: I just went in like, fucking I was fucking dry
26:19
Speaker 1: humping the fucking podcast industry, and I was like, let's
26:21
Speaker 1: find it. Know. But now that I know about the industry,
26:26
Speaker 1: about audiences and about everything, I guess one of the
26:31
Speaker 1: things that I would focus on initially because it took
26:34
Speaker 1: me a while to do this when I launched my podcast,
26:36
Speaker 1: is be consistent with the episode uploads sooner rather than later.
26:40
Speaker 1: I mean, it still worked out for me in the end,
26:43
Speaker 1: but I was very inconsistent with my uploads. It'd be like, oh,
26:45
Speaker 1: upload one this week, I'll see you maybe in two weeks.
26:48
Speaker 1: There was just never like a for the first six months.
26:51
Speaker 1: It was a little bit all over the place for
26:52
Speaker 1: when I uploaded. So from the get go, I would
26:54
Speaker 1: have set days that I would upload the episode. I
26:57
Speaker 1: would always ask myself, and this is advice. More people
27:00
Speaker 1: come to me and say, what, like, what's your main
27:02
Speaker 1: advice if you're launching an episode a podcast and you
27:05
Speaker 1: want the podcast to grow. Firstly, you've got to like
27:07
Speaker 1: what you're doing with the podcast, because you can't just
27:09
Speaker 1: launch a podcast hoping for it to grow. Because this
27:12
Speaker 1: is an extremely saturated market, it might take you a
27:14
Speaker 1: while to break through and be huge, so you want
27:16
Speaker 1: to enjoy the process. In the meantime. Some people break
27:18
Speaker 1: through straight away, some people that takes them years, some
27:21
Speaker 1: people it never happens. Whatever. So you want to like
27:22
Speaker 1: what you're doing, number one. But number two, if you
27:25
Speaker 1: want to grow, you always have to ask yourself why
27:30
Speaker 1: why would somebody share this? Because there's a difference between
27:34
Speaker 1: liking something versus liking something enough that I'm compelled to
27:38
Speaker 1: share this, whether it's on social media or whether it's
27:41
Speaker 1: word of mouth talking about it to a friend. Why
27:44
Speaker 1: would someone share this? Because a lot of people think, oh,
27:46
Speaker 1: my opinions interesting enough. I'm just going to jump on
27:48
Speaker 1: get on a mic and talk and people might agree
27:52
Speaker 1: with your opinion. People might tune in and be like, yeah,
27:54
Speaker 1: I agree, yep, cool, but it's not compelling, Like it's
27:57
Speaker 1: not compelling enough, so what is it? You can still
28:00
Speaker 1: get on the microphone, share your opinion, whatever, But what
28:04
Speaker 1: takeaway are you going to have that that person that
28:06
Speaker 1: listens is like, oh fuck yes, yes. Is it advice?
28:10
Speaker 1: Is it knowledge? Is it comedy? Is it entertainment? Is it?
28:13
Speaker 1: What is it that you are giving this person that
28:18
Speaker 1: not only do they like it, but they're like, I
28:20
Speaker 1: this is I have to share this. And so for me,
28:23
Speaker 1: that's how I started. You know, I'd listen to my audience.
28:26
Speaker 1: I started listening, Okay, this heartbreaking. People are really interested
28:28
Speaker 1: in narcissists. Relationships are so popular. So then I started
28:32
Speaker 1: leading into more episodes around you know, confidence within relationships
28:35
Speaker 1: and building yourself up and blah blah blah blah blah.
28:37
Speaker 1: So listen to your audience number one, even if your
28:39
Speaker 1: audience is tiny, always ask yourself, why would someone share
28:42
Speaker 1: this episode? Have a wife for your podcast? So my
28:46
Speaker 1: why is to help people change the relationship with themselves
28:48
Speaker 1: and their brains. Always has been from day one. It's
28:51
Speaker 1: bled through every single episode that I do. That is
28:53
Speaker 1: the wife of the podcast. And also have consistency of
28:56
Speaker 1: when you are. So that's what I would do if
28:58
Speaker 1: I was releasing a podcast. Now, you guys know, like
29:00
Speaker 1: I actually still think that I would like to have
29:03
Speaker 1: another podcast, even if it's not on mindset at all.
29:06
Speaker 1: I've got all these ideas, like maybe have my own
29:09
Speaker 1: network eventually, you know, because I've always got ideas flowing through.
29:13
Speaker 1: So I think it'd be really interesting to see how
29:15
Speaker 1: I would approach. It's a good question because like, how
29:17
Speaker 1: will I approach a podcast in the future, another podcast?
29:21
Speaker 1: Keeping this one obviously this is my baby, but like
29:23
Speaker 1: doing a second one. All right, next question, this is
29:27
Speaker 1: the second last question ended things with my ex for
29:30
Speaker 1: good reason. We share a dog. He wants it. It's
29:33
Speaker 1: formally in his name, but I don't think he will
29:36
Speaker 1: treat it well. Should I fight for custody or let
29:39
Speaker 1: him have it, knowing the dog will likely have a
29:41
Speaker 1: crap life, or concede and move on with things? Okay,
29:44
Speaker 1: this is really really, really so hard because legally you
29:48
Speaker 1: don't have a leg to stand on. Unfortunately, it's his dog.
29:51
Speaker 1: He bought it, you know. And as far as like
29:53
Speaker 1: custody with dogs, there's just like nothing legally that you
29:56
Speaker 1: can you know, which is pretty sad. I mean, I
29:59
Speaker 1: think as far as I'm concern from what I know,
30:01
Speaker 1: I could be so wrong with what I just said.
30:02
Speaker 1: But from what I know and from other situations that
30:06
Speaker 1: I've heard off, I believe that that is the case,
30:08
Speaker 1: especially if he bought the dog. However, I would definitely
30:15
Speaker 1: I don't know about fight for because you don't want
30:18
Speaker 1: to obviously cause yourself pain and stress and animosity, but
30:21
Speaker 1: I would basically try and put across in the most
30:27
Speaker 1: peaceful way possible more than just once your desire to
30:31
Speaker 1: have either a shared custody or ideally full custody off
30:36
Speaker 1: the dog, right, So I would, you know, bring good
30:39
Speaker 1: points across. You want to make it as peaceful as
30:42
Speaker 1: possible if you're fighting. Often people, especially if they're angry
30:47
Speaker 1: at you, if it's not been an amicable breakup, or
30:49
Speaker 1: they feel hurt by you, or they feel like you're
30:51
Speaker 1: the one that ended it and dumped it. Sometimes they
30:53
Speaker 1: hold onto things because they're trying to hurt you even further.
30:57
Speaker 1: So if you do it in an angry way, one
30:59
Speaker 1: of their ways of punishing you is with holding something
31:02
Speaker 1: that matters to you. So you need to push past
31:05
Speaker 1: the anger and the animosity that you have towards each
31:07
Speaker 1: other for a greater goal, which is having the dog.
31:11
Speaker 1: So I would highly recommend that you try and push
31:13
Speaker 1: aside anything, any anger or whatever, especially if they're angry
31:17
Speaker 1: at you, finding a way to deal with it without
31:18
Speaker 1: snapping back, without biting the bait, and see, like, how
31:21
Speaker 1: can I approach this in the most peaceful way possible
31:24
Speaker 1: to get the outcome that I want? Because everyone you
31:27
Speaker 1: got to ask yourself, does what is his actual desired outcome?
31:30
Speaker 1: Is it to hurt me by taking full cust if
31:34
Speaker 1: the dog? Is it because he just genuinely actually wants
31:36
Speaker 1: full cust if the dog, Like does he really want
31:39
Speaker 1: to care for the dog all the time, because sometimes
31:40
Speaker 1: they don't and they're just doing it to hurt you. Like,
31:43
Speaker 1: once you can get your head around what you think
31:45
Speaker 1: he desired actual outcome is, then you can start to
31:48
Speaker 1: dig deeper into something like people's needs and desires. And
31:52
Speaker 1: that's how you can communicate a whole lot better because
31:54
Speaker 1: if you think, Okay, his actual outcome is that he
31:56
Speaker 1: wants to hurt me, then you think, okay, he wants
31:58
Speaker 1: to hurt me because he's been hurt. This is his
32:01
Speaker 1: way of flashing out. He feels burnt, he feels like
32:03
Speaker 1: maybe he's unvalidated, maybe that he you know, things were
32:07
Speaker 1: left unsaid, that he didn't get his chance. So it's like,
32:10
Speaker 1: is there a way to communicate better so this person
32:13
Speaker 1: can feel seen and heard throughout the breakup? So that
32:16
Speaker 1: way we can start to communicate a whole lot more openly,
32:19
Speaker 1: and then he isn't so full of hatred, and then
32:21
Speaker 1: is less likely to want to hurt me, and then
32:24
Speaker 1: he's maybe less likely to be so hell bent on
32:27
Speaker 1: holding onto this dog. Okay, Now, I might be so
32:30
Speaker 1: wrong with everything I just said about your personal dynamic,
32:32
Speaker 1: but I think that's one of the many ways of
32:34
Speaker 1: approaching things. When someone's so intense about a desire, often
32:38
Speaker 1: there's an underlying motivation behind that, and it could be
32:42
Speaker 1: to manipulate you, or to hurt you, or to put
32:44
Speaker 1: you in a position where you're uncomfortable. All right, last question,
32:50
Speaker 1: how to be confident and proud when telling people about
32:53
Speaker 1: a new side hustle I'm working on when I've just
32:56
Speaker 1: started and have nothing to show for it yet. Don't sorry,
33:01
Speaker 1: but don't tell people I say this all the time.
33:04
Speaker 1: I don't look, I've mentioned it for sure on the podcast.
33:07
Speaker 1: But one thing that I say is, unless you have
33:12
Speaker 1: fully begun that thing, you need to limit the number
33:16
Speaker 1: of people that you tell about your dreams and your goals.
33:19
Speaker 1: You need to be very, very stingy with the number
33:22
Speaker 1: of people that you tell about your dreams and goals
33:24
Speaker 1: because we think, and fair enough, because we're optimistic people, whatever,
33:28
Speaker 1: but we think, I want to tell everyone. I want
33:31
Speaker 1: to share this exciting thing that's happening with me. I
33:33
Speaker 1: want to I'm so excited. I'm wrong. I tell share
33:36
Speaker 1: to the whole world of what I'm doing, but then
33:38
Speaker 1: you know people, But then I want to be confident
33:40
Speaker 1: about it. I want to feel like it's actually working.
33:42
Speaker 1: And you know, some people will be like, is that
33:44
Speaker 1: a good idea? Should you actually do that? Other people
33:46
Speaker 1: will be like, congrats, that's such a good idea. Regardless
33:49
Speaker 1: of how people respond, it is not a good idea
33:52
Speaker 1: to share your goals and you're what you're actually going
33:56
Speaker 1: to do, whether it's like a fitness goal, whether it's
33:58
Speaker 1: a side hustle that you're going to launch, whatever, until
34:01
Speaker 1: you actually are doing the thing. And the reason for
34:03
Speaker 1: that is, I'll give you a couple. One of the
34:06
Speaker 1: main reasons is people will give you their unsolicited opinion
34:08
Speaker 1: where they're completely unqualified to do so, whether it be
34:11
Speaker 1: positive or negative. Opinion. So they're going to say, oh,
34:13
Speaker 1: that's not going to work, it's a saturated market, or
34:15
Speaker 1: I don't know about that, or they're going to say, yeah, okay,
34:17
Speaker 1: but maybe you should do it this way. You should.
34:18
Speaker 1: You're gonna have too many fucking cooks in the kitchen
34:20
Speaker 1: trying to put their two cents worth it. Number one,
34:22
Speaker 1: that's not good. Secondly, and then people trying to shut
34:26
Speaker 1: you down all together, fully trying to shut you down.
34:29
Speaker 1: Oh no, how do you you think you're going to
34:30
Speaker 1: make money doing that? Now you're going to waste your time.
34:33
Speaker 1: So then you walk out if they're feeling like I
34:35
Speaker 1: feel like absolute dogshit. The second thing is that when
34:39
Speaker 1: we are looking to feel motivated for something, we like
34:43
Speaker 1: to share it with other people because we think that
34:46
Speaker 1: sharing our goals with other people is going to increase
34:50
Speaker 1: the likelihood of us following through with that goal, because
34:52
Speaker 1: we think that other people, them knowing it, is going
34:56
Speaker 1: to hold us accountable. No, it doesn't. They their job
35:00
Speaker 1: is not to hold you accountable. They're not going to
35:02
Speaker 1: hold you accountable, and you having told them, and then
35:05
Speaker 1: the fear of being like, oh my god, I've already
35:06
Speaker 1: told you, and that that's never enough to hold you accountable.
35:09
Speaker 1: It's never enough to hold you accountable. And then all
35:12
Speaker 1: you do is come across as someone who keeps sharing
35:14
Speaker 1: all these brand new ideas and never being a person
35:16
Speaker 1: if your word and never following through with it. Oh,
35:18
Speaker 1: you know, I'm going to start this thing, and then
35:19
Speaker 1: you get over it, and then two weeks later, I'm
35:21
Speaker 1: actually going to be doing this other thing. Then you
35:23
Speaker 1: get over it, and the three weeks later, I'm starting
35:25
Speaker 1: this new gym, and then and then people are like,
35:28
Speaker 1: shut the fuck up. You're always saying that you're going
35:30
Speaker 1: to do something. You're never going to do it. Just
35:31
Speaker 1: fucking do it. I don't care. You know, it's not
35:33
Speaker 1: their job to hold you accountable. And you don't want
35:35
Speaker 1: to be looking at that as the thing that keeps
35:37
Speaker 1: you accountable. You've got to want it bad enough that
35:39
Speaker 1: you keep yourself accountable. Okay. Now, another thing is that
35:44
Speaker 1: when someone congratulates you on something before you have achieved it,
35:48
Speaker 1: you already feel a sense of achievement, and then your
35:51
Speaker 1: willingness to do that thing diminishes. It's like you've already
35:54
Speaker 1: been congratulated. Like, guys, I'm starting a seventy five hard.
35:58
Speaker 1: Oh my god, congrats, congrats, congrats, and now it's the
36:00
Speaker 1: time to actually start seventy five hund and you're like,
36:02
Speaker 1: fuck my life, and you know, like that's that's a
36:05
Speaker 1: bad example because a lot of the time it's important
36:07
Speaker 1: to tell people you're doing, you know, a challenge like
36:08
Speaker 1: that because you're like, I'm not gonna be drinking alcohol,
36:11
Speaker 1: like you need to know that I'm doing this thing.
36:12
Speaker 1: But what I'm saying is when we announce our big goals,
36:15
Speaker 1: we almost want the accolades, we want the congratulations, we
36:18
Speaker 1: want the emotional support now before we've even done it.
36:21
Speaker 1: So my suggestion to you is, ask yourself, how can
36:25
Speaker 1: I show people what I'm doing without talking about it action.
36:29
Speaker 1: That's the only fucking way, by actually doing it. And
36:32
Speaker 1: then if people say, oh my god, you're actually doing
36:35
Speaker 1: this thing. I didn't know you were doing it whatever,
36:37
Speaker 1: you can just say, yeah, no, it's no sacred I
36:39
Speaker 1: just wanted to just start it, get the ball rolling,
36:42
Speaker 1: and then let you know how it's going once I began. Okay,
36:45
Speaker 1: because say, you know, I'm sick of talking about things
36:48
Speaker 1: that I haven't started yet. You know I've said that before,
36:51
Speaker 1: Like I don't want to talk about things that I
36:53
Speaker 1: haven't started, because then then it feels like I'm kind
36:55
Speaker 1: of already behind. So launch the fucking thing, stun't the
37:00
Speaker 1: fucking thing? Who cares if it's going slowly? And then
37:02
Speaker 1: when people inquire, then you can answer their questions. Then
37:06
Speaker 1: you can say, yeah, no, it's going well, I'm learning
37:07
Speaker 1: about this. This is going slower than I would have liked,
37:10
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna start doing this, and I've already launched this,
37:12
Speaker 1: and I've already studied this course whatever. And then people
37:15
Speaker 1: are asking you things about shit that you're already doing.
37:17
Speaker 1: They're not going to be like, oh, I don't think
37:19
Speaker 1: you should do that, because you've already started, haven't you.
37:21
Speaker 1: And then if they tell you, I don't think you
37:22
Speaker 1: should do that, well, you're a miserable count, aren't you,
37:24
Speaker 1: because you're telling me that I shouldn't be doing something
37:25
Speaker 1: I've already started. So that would be my advice to you.
37:29
Speaker 1: Ask yourself, how can I communicate what I'm doing without
37:33
Speaker 1: verbalizing it? And the only way you can do it
37:35
Speaker 1: is through action, through showing them, through them seeing that
37:38
Speaker 1: you are doing it, and then they'm asking you questions
37:40
Speaker 1: about it. Guys. That is all for the episode of today.
37:44
Speaker 1: There's like hundreds more, so I might do another live
37:48
Speaker 1: show question episode later on, but yeah, thank you so
37:54
Speaker 1: much for everyone that submitted these questions in the live
37:56
Speaker 1: show and good times back. I finally settled in my
38:01
Speaker 1: new place, so we'll be back to regular programming asap.
38:04
Speaker 1: Love you guys so much, Thank you for tuning in,
38:06
Speaker 1: and as always, remember be kind to yourself, be kind
38:08
Speaker 1: to your brain, don't take shit from anyone, and especially
38:11
Speaker 1: don't take shit from yourself. Dunker