Latest / The Stoic Handbook with Jon Brooks / Stoic Acceptance Contemplation to Reduce Anxiety Over an Uncertain Future
Transcript
- 0:00SPEAKER_00: Today we are going to be doing a stoic acceptance meditation.
- 0:04SPEAKER_00: Before we get into the meditation, let's lay some groundwork to better understand the approach that we're taking.
- 0:10SPEAKER_00: You would have noticed by now that in life we naturally want things to go a certain way.
- 0:18SPEAKER_00: We want to improve our lives.
- 0:20SPEAKER_00: We want to pass our exams.
- 0:23SPEAKER_00: We want to get a better career, get a raise.
- 0:27SPEAKER_00: We want to make good first impressions when we meet people.
- 0:31SPEAKER_00: We want others to laugh at our jokes.
- 0:34SPEAKER_00: Maybe we want our ex-partner to get back with us.
- 0:37SPEAKER_00: Maybe we want to win the lottery.
- 0:39SPEAKER_00: The issue with all of these wants is that they might not actually happen.
- 0:46SPEAKER_00: And in fact, even wanting them to happen could push them away further.
- 0:52SPEAKER_00: When we deeply desire something, when we crave something, there is an innate level of suffering because we fear not getting the thing that we want.
- 1:03SPEAKER_00: So when you notice that you are hoping that events turn out the way that you desire, it's better to just stop.
- 1:12SPEAKER_00: Instead, let's welcome events in whichever way they happen.
- 1:19SPEAKER_00: You do not have control over the external events in your life, but you do have control over your conscious judgments.
- 1:28SPEAKER_00: You can therefore choose to want things exactly as they appear.
- 1:34SPEAKER_00: Even though it is difficult, we can train ourselves to do this through stoic meditation and practice.
- 1:40SPEAKER_00: This doesn't mean that we can't have goals, that we can't aim at things.
- 1:46SPEAKER_00: We are allowed to think into the future and to plan and to choose the life that we want.
- 1:52SPEAKER_00: But at every step of the way, we welcome events however they turn out.
- 1:57SPEAKER_00: So let's practice with a simple stoic acceptance meditation.
- 2:02SPEAKER_00: Sit comfortably with eyes open or closed.
- 2:07SPEAKER_00: Think back to a recent situation where you really wanted things to go your way.
- 2:23SPEAKER_00: It could be big, something related to your family, relationships, career, or it could be small like watching a sports game and wanting your team to win.
- 2:45SPEAKER_00: Think back to the sensations you felt and the narrative that was going through your mind when you were hoping things to turn out exactly the way you wanted.
- 3:04SPEAKER_01: How serious or significant was this desire?
- 3:12SPEAKER_01: How attached were you to the outcome?
- 3:21SPEAKER_00: Now whether you got what you wanted or different, your own judgment remains the same.
- 3:26SPEAKER_00: Practice in your own mind now, saying, I welcome this event exactly as it is.
- 4:09SPEAKER_00: Perhaps you want to reduce your suffering in some way.
- 4:13SPEAKER_00: Perhaps you want to increase your happiness by getting something.
- 4:17SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're going on holiday and you don't want your flights to get cancelled.
- 4:30SPEAKER_00: Imagine now things not going your way.
- 4:34SPEAKER_00: You aren't getting the thing that you desire.
- 4:40SPEAKER_00: Say to yourself and mean it deeply in your bones, I welcome this event exactly as it is.
- 5:38SPEAKER_00: And by thinking that we can control everything, and that nature doesn't have its own order, is an illusory idea that can cause unnecessary suffering.