Latest / Off the Page / Episode 005-Kimberla Lawson Roby & K. R. Raye-Empowering Women Through Storytelling
Transcript
- K. R. Raye: Salutations, readers. Welcome to Off the Page Podcast with K. R. Raye, Your Authorpreneur. This is the place where stories leap off the page. Every episode, we explore the characters and stories that stay with us and resonate long after we finish reading the book or watching the show. I'm the host, K. R. Raye, Your Authorpreneur. And authorpreneurs, just like entrepreneurs, wear multiple hats. In my case, I'm an award-winning author, screenwriter, podcaster, speaker, and publisher. Today's guest is one of my favorite authorpreneurs, Kimberla Lawson Roby. Kimberla Lawson Roby is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author. She's an inspirational speaker and founder of Successful Women of Faith, The Sisterhood. Kimberla has a strong passion for helping women become the best they can be. She's published 30 books, repeat, 30 books, including The Woman God Created You to Be, Finding Success Through Faith, Spiritually, Personally, and Professionally, Sister Friends Forever, A Christmas Prayer, and Casting the First Stone She's the 2013 NAACP Image Award winner for outstanding literary work, fiction, for her novel. The Reverend's Wife. In 2020, she was named by USA Today as one of the hundred black novelists you should read. And in February 2021, her first nonfiction book, The Woman God Created You To Be, was nominated for an NAACP Image Award for Outstanding Literary Work Instructional, giving her four, repeat, four NAACP Image Award nominations in total. Kimberla is an inspiration to me. and many others around the world. So without further ado, Kimberla Lawson Roby welcome to Off the Page. It's so wonderful to have you here. Kimberla Lawson Roby: Thank you so much, K. R. Thank you for having me and I just appreciate having the opportunity to be here with you. K. R. Raye: I am so tickled pink. So we'll Kimberla Lawson Roby: Mm. K. R. Raye: dive right into it with the first question. As authors and creatives, we understand the importance of characters and stories to our audience. So in our first segment, The Character We Won't Forget. With your latest book, The Woman God Created You To Be, Finding Success Through Faith, Spiritually, Personally, and Professionally, tell me more about the biblical characters who inspired you. Kimberla Lawson Roby: you know, so I think it's most of the women in the Bible, you know, and thinking about ministry from that perspective and so much of what women did. And yes, we have women ministers and women pastors, but for me, I think just the idea of having a ministry, there were many years that I didn't realize you could have a ministry outside of the pulpit. And so I knew God was not calling me into the pulpit to be a minister or to be a pastor, but he has certainly called me to share my testimony and to encourage women based on not just where I am now with my relationship with Him, but where I used to be even, leading me to courageously, because it has taken courage to talk about some of the mistakes I made. Some of the flaws, the fears, the failures. Most of us we know we have things in our life that we're not so proud of, or maybe I could have handled something differently or been kinder or said something differently, and I didn't in that moment. Now on the other side of it, I'm in a different place and I work really hard to do what's pleasing to God and what will allow Him to get the glory. And so my hope. as I was writing the woman God created you to be was that women would see themselves. they would either be in the position I was once in and they'd be able to make those changes because they'll be able to see how I moved to the other side. Or if maybe you've not made any of those mistakes, hopefully you won't now, you know, now that you can see K. R. Raye: Exactly. Kimberla Lawson Roby: what the results are. It's been a journey because I knew that God wasn't just calling me to write a nonfiction book that would be faith based, but it was going to have to be transparent and that I would have to share my truth. And so that that's been it, where I almost became the main character in my own book after writing all those other books where, you know, there was always someone else who was the main character or two or three main characters. So yes, very, very different journey. K. R. Raye: And it's been absolutely amazing being able one as an author to translate from a fiction world to nonfiction, but to put yourself out there so openly and so transparently, as you mentioned, that you're having audiences connect emotionally to you and really being able to understand your story and see how. their lives may be similar or how to use what you're going through as a guidepost. I mean, that just has to be such a gift and to be able to do that and share that with with others. Kimberla Lawson Roby: Yes, it has been. you sometimes I'll have, you know, writers when I'm doing classes or consultations, and one of the main questions I get is, you know, what was the difference when it came to writing fiction versus writing nonfiction? And so what I share is that the process is really the same. So I I have my process for writing, that has not changed. but again the difference is with fiction, you create characters. you can make up and say whatever you want to say to get your point across. The characters can do whatever you want them to do. But with nonfiction, it's the truth. It's the truth, it's the truth, whether that's the good, the bad, or the ugly. Yeah, you know, you K. R. Raye: Good, bad, or ugly. Kimberla Lawson Roby: still you're still gonna have to tell that. But I've also found that being transparent and sharing about my struggles, one of the chapters in the book is called suffering in silence mentally and emotionally. And I talk about my bout with anxiety and doing way too much and struggling with being able to say no to family members, friends, colleagues. And so I don't struggle with that anymore. And I don't overwork myself anymore. But for a long time I did. And then as you know, this has been since the book came out, this year, earlier this year, I struggled with depression for the very First time. And so now God has given me the courage to talk about that as well. And just to hear from women who have contacted me privately to say it's because of your testimony that I contacted my doctor. Or one weekend I had a woman say, I have an appointment on Monday. Another woman who said, I started medication. We realized I needed medication and I'm feeling like myself again. And that's when you realize. No matter what we go through in life, no matter what mistakes we make or what struggles we might have, we don't ever have to feel embarrassed or ashamed about it. And I am a believer that God never causes us harm. He never causes struggle. But I do believe there are times when He will allow it because in the end you're going to be able to help someone else who will come along that same journey right after you. So yeah. K. R. Raye: Yes. And that's so vitally important because being able to set those boundaries, right? And be very intentional with that and being able to say no, that is something that people struggle with. all the time, but especially women, we're known for not being able to say no and giving of ourselves and looking out for others versus taking care of ourselves first to make sure that we have the strength and the endurance to be able to help others. So Kimberla Lawson Roby: Yes. K. R. Raye: that is just vitally vitally important. Love it, love it, love it. So that's going to then take us to the second segment. The scene that stayed with you. Can you discuss a scene, story, film, or book moment that emotionally impacted you and why? Kimberla Lawson Roby: so you know, there's two. What I you know, I'll take one from The Woman God Created You to Be that will always be my most memorable chapter that I wrote and the one that will stick with me no matter what. And in that particular book, it's when I wrote the chapter about my mom becoming terminally ill and what it was like when we knew they had done all they could do and the doctors had informed us of that and I started to wonder what in the world was I supposed to do about my mom? You know, without my mom, my best friend, she, you know, as far as I will always be concerned, she was the best mom ever. The kind of mother that I wouldn't have even known to pray for. And so that was a tough one. But to relive that, even though she passed away in 2 00 1 so the book was released in 2020 . I was writing it in 20 19 It had been many years, but I shed a lot of tears. writing that as as if it had just happened all over again. Yeah, so that will always be memorable. in Casting the First Stone, ironically, the Reverend Curtis Black series, there are lots of scenes in there that are probably more dramatic scenes or funny scenes or, you know, the my goodness, you know, type scenes. And and yes, K. R. Raye: Can't believe that just happened. Kimberla Lawson Roby: you know, throughout the series. But in the fifteenth book in the series, which is the last one I wrote, In the Reverend Curtis Black series, there's a scene when Curtis's sister is terminally ill and the entire family is in the room with her. And so I think that's really ironic that those are two memorable scenes in my own life and also in the book that resonate with me. And likely it's because I can relate to that. And I was able to write it probably in a way that maybe someone who had not experienced that would be able. to write it in their own stories. K. R. Raye: I mean, Kimberla Lawson Roby: Yeah. K. R. Raye: that is such whenever you're losing someone that you love that is dear to you, that you can't imagine life without, and being able to both in real life and in fiction, being able to help others through that struggle, because we're all going to unfortunately at some point in our lives have to Kimberla Lawson Roby: Mm-hmm. K. R. Raye: experience that, right? And so being able to help at least get people to manage their emotions or understand you're not in this alone or understanding, you know, this sucks. We prayed to God that this wouldn't happen, right? And God, why are you forsaking me? And Kimberla Lawson Roby: Yes, yes. Yes. K. R. Raye: being able to go, we're going through this for a reason. The person, will transition to a much better place in the world, you know, outside of the world to Kimberla Lawson Roby: Mm-hmm. Yeah. K. R. Raye: heaven, right? Kimberla Lawson Roby: Yes. K. R. Raye: But being able to help people walk through and navigate that journey is such a gift to be able to give to to your audience. So definitely thank Kimberla Lawson Roby: Yeah, and it is, yeah. So I've obviously it's the the greatest loss that I've ever experienced in my life. but to now of course hear from women all the time who will say, my mom is terminally ill or I just lost my mom and it's that chapter that helped me. You know, you helped me see that it won't always feel this way and that it will get better, you know, eventually. Over time, so yeah. K. R. Raye: Thank you for that. And that Kimberla Lawson Roby: Yeah. K. R. Raye: actually leads us right into the last segment of our interview portion of it. It's just tying it all together. The emotional core, what makes it real? So you've already discussed a lot of what makes it real, but Kimberla Lawson Roby: Yeah, yeah, yeah. K. R. Raye: what is some of the central emotional tension inside your work or creative process that really helps audiences just Pull that all together and make it so unbelievably real for them. Kimberla Lawson Roby: Well, you know, the when I first started out my writing career and I don't know why I thought this was a question to ask, because I you it's very new, you know, I don't have a background, formal background in writing, nothing in publishing. But when Behind Closed Doors was released and as it started to sell the books and you know, independent bookstores, especially the black bookstores around the country, made my career and it was just one, you know, store after another, one reader, one book club after another and When the book continued to do well, I started asking readers at events, it's you know, what made you keep reading? I was just interested, because I think too, at the same time, you almost still don't believe that, you know, K. R. Raye: What is happening? Kimberla Lawson Roby: readers want to read your work. You you know, we never think that we've done a great enough job. We are our own worst critics for sure. K. R. Raye: Yeah. Kimberla Lawson Roby: but I just started asking that question. And more often than not, what I heard was I kept reading because I could relate to the characters. I knew what the characters were going through. I've either experienced it or I know someone who has. And I thought, you know what, from that point on, I thought, I'm going to stick with writing about real life everyday issues, but just write them in a fictional format. And that I would write not just about any issues, but sometimes even taboo. Issues, controversial topics, things that we need to discuss, but maybe we're not discussing as openly as we should. And so from there, that's how I would continue. So I always, always before I would start creating the characters and outlining my chapters, I would think about what are those two or three topics I'm going to focus on. And sometimes it would be something in the headlines, sometimes it would be real life or something locally that I saw, something maybe I experienced many years ago. It just depends, you know, what whatever I would be feeling at that moment when I'm getting ready to write the next book. But it is the response and the feedback from readers that led me to say, Mm, I've gotta write something that readers can relate to, even though I want it to be entertaining. I want them to turn the pages. Yes, there are times when I want them to laugh, but I also want there to be a message or a learning experience. I want them to walk away with something other than just this was just, you know, a story to read for entertainment. K. R. Raye: Entertaining. Kimberla Lawson Roby: And there's nothing wrong with that because I like to read books where it sometimes it's a happily ever after and all of that. So I'm I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but K. R. Raye: A nice little escape. Right. Kimberla Lawson Roby: for me, I realized my purpose. Was to write about real life issues, yeah. K. R. Raye: And that really not only resonated, of course, in your fiction work, but again in your nonfiction work because being able to share so fully of yourself and being able to help people emotionally struggle with anxiety, struggle with depression, and being able to see the other side of it. I mean, that just. I've said it before, you are extremely inspiring and being able to be so authentic and transparent and relatable and reachable is just a a wonderful gift that we do appreciate you being able to share with us. So Kimberla Lawson Roby: Thank you. Thank you so much for that. K. R. Raye: Definitely, definitely. So that actually wraps up our whole interview section. You did a fantastic Kimberla Lawson Roby: Mm-hmm. K. R. Raye: job there. I mean, when you just talk about the characters from the biblical sense to the relatable fiction sense, Kimberla Lawson Roby: Mm-hmm. K. R. Raye: to being able to have those scenes, to navigate grief and understanding that whole journey and then again having that emotional core of being so relatable to your audiences. I mean it's just a wonderful, wonderful way to do our interview. So thank you. So we'll go over to our marketing minute and totally switch gears. We all know how important marketing is for authors and creatives. And in reality, everyone has to market themselves nowadays, whether it's for work, Kimberla Lawson Roby: Yeah. K. R. Raye: school, or in relationships. So Kimberla, Kimberla Lawson Roby: Yeah. K. R. Raye: I'm going to put 60 seconds on my timer. Please share your best marketing advice or tip. So are you ready? Kimberla Lawson Roby: Yes, I am ready. K. R. Raye: All right, go. Kimberla Lawson Roby: In terms of marketing, as much as we love to write as writers, and that's usually the thing that we're most focused on, and it can sometimes be the most difficult and and the most intense part of what we do. But at the same time, one of the not so popular recommendations that I always give. to writers and even aspiring writers and authors is that writing is likely about 20% of what you'll be doing. Marketing is 80%, the marketing, the promoting. And so while you're writing in your free time, you should start learning every single thing you can about the business of publishing. Start creating a marketing plan. Start figuring out who your audience is and how you're going to reach that. particular audience. Make sure you have a user friendly website but one that's really informative at the same time. Start doing events, and create a social media page, not just a profile page that you use for friends and family, but a business page on whatever social media platform you prefer. K. R. Raye: Is such an important message for authors because literally 80% of it is definitely the whole Kimberla Lawson Roby: Yeah. K. R. Raye: marketing piece. it, doesn't matter which way you publish, but especially if people are trying to get traditionally published, the Kimberla Lawson Roby: Yeah. K. R. Raye: traditional publishers are doing less and less, unfortunately, as far as marketing, and you're expected to do more. And then Kimberla Lawson Roby: Yes. K. R. Raye: if you're self-publishing or hybrid publishing. You have to. That's the onus is on you. Kimberla Lawson Roby: And you do. They even check to see how many followers you have and what your content looks like before they even offer you a deal in some cases. K. R. Raye: Exactly. Yes. Kimberla Lawson Roby: Yeah. K. R. Raye: everybody get out there, start getting your social media, understand what Kimberla Lawson Roby: Yeah. K. R. Raye: you need to do. Excellent. So Kimberla, before we go and we wrap up, I want to make sure to include the links and the notes below, but where can listeners connect with you online? Kimberla Lawson Roby: they can visit my website at Kim Roby.com. also, as you know, I teach master classes and do one-on-one consultations for all writers, women writers, and that's women who writebooks.com. And then I have my women's community, which I hope women will join as well, which also has one space, one of the spaces inside of it is called Women Who Write Books. but the actual community is called Successful. Women of Faith and that Successful Women of Faith .com K. R. Raye: So, a big thank you to the listeners for joining our conversation, celebrating the characters and stories that stay with us, and the incredible people like Kimberla who bring them to life. And if you enjoyed today's episode, please be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode. You can also continue the conversation by joining our off-the-page community at www.patreon.com/slash K R Raye. That's www.patr. e-o n dot c o m slash k r r a y e Kimberla it was an absolute honor to have you on this show i have been looking forward to this for so long Kimberla Lawson Roby: Yeah. K. R. Raye: and I appreciate from the bottom of my heart you taking the time out of your schedule to do this so thank you so much for spending time with us today and sharing your faith wisdom and All of your experiences, your life experiences are a goalpost for others to be able to navigate and emulate and take it from there. To our lovely audience, thanks for joining us for this edition of Off the Page Podcast, wishing you peace, love, and happiness until next time. Thank you so much. Bye. Kimberla Lawson Roby: Thank you. Bye.