Latest / R.E.A.L. Talk for REAL L.Y.F.E. / Fresh Start After a False Start

Transcript

Fresh Start After a False Start · R.E.A.L. Talk for REAL L.Y.F.E.

• 0:00
  Welcome to Real Talk for Real Life, where we're realizing everyone is always
• 0:06
  learning and living your full experience.
• 0:11
  I'm your host, Coach C, and this is your Fearless Friday episode,
• 0:16
  Fresh Start After a False Start.
• 0:20
  Can we talk about false starts? If you know anything about football,
• 0:24
  you know a false start will cost you.
• 0:28
  The offense gets set, everybody's in position, the play is ready,
• 0:33
  but somebody moves before they're supposed to.
• 0:38
  Flag, false start. Penalty, back it up.
• 0:43
  And sometimes life feels a whole lot like that.
• 0:47
  Except, here's the good news. False starts might be penalized in football,
• 0:54
  but they don't have to permanently penalize you in life.
• 0:58
  Because some of us have experienced what I call a life for false start.
• 1:03
  You thought you were about to live your best life. New marriage,
• 1:07
  new relationship, new career, new business, new move, new city,
• 1:14
  new weight loss journey, new degree, new opportunity.
• 1:18
  You had the announcement. You had the excitement. You had the plans.
• 1:23
  You might have even had the cute pictures to go with it.
• 1:27
  And then life started lifing. And somewhere along the way, you realize this ain't it.
• 1:35
  That relationship wasn't what you thought it would be. That marriage didn't
• 1:40
  work. That dream job became a nightmare.
• 1:44
  That move didn't give you the peace you thought changing your zip code would provide.
• 1:49
  That business didn't take off.
• 1:52
  That weight loss transformation got interrupted and some of the weight came back.
• 1:57
  That opportunity you prayed for turned out to be something you couldn't wait to get away from.
• 2:02
  And now you're standing there thinking, dang, I really thought this was my new beginning.
• 2:10
  Maybe it was. It just wasn't your final destination.
• 2:14
  See, we have a bad habit of believing that because something didn't work the
• 2:19
  way we planned, the entire experience was wasted.
• 2:24
  We call it failure. We call it embarrassment.
• 2:28
  We call it lost time. We start beating ourselves up. I should have known.
• 2:34
  I should not have done that.
• 2:36
  I cannot believe I have to start all over.
• 2:40
  But hold up. Who said you're starting all over?
• 2:45
  You're starting again. And there is a difference because the person beginning
• 2:51
  this time has information the person who started last time didn't have.
• 2:58
  You've got experience now. You've got evidence now. You've got lessons now.
• 3:05
  You've got discernment now. You've got some bruises too, probably,
• 3:10
  but you've also got wisdom.
• 3:12
  So maybe that false start wasn't a complete loss.
• 3:17
  Maybe it taught you how to recognize what does not fit.
• 3:22
  Maybe it showed you what you really value. Maybe it exposed what you still needed to heal.
• 3:30
  Maybe it revealed something about you.
• 3:35
  Maybe you needed that experience to prepare you for the next one,
• 3:39
  Because sometimes what looks like I messed everything up Is really I learned
• 3:47
  something I could not have learned standing still Phew.
• 3:52
  And can we stop being embarrassed about changing direction?
• 3:57
  Please. Some of us stay in things way too long because we don't want people
• 4:02
  to know the thing we were so excited about did not work.
• 4:07
  You announced the relationship, so now you're scared to leave it.
• 4:11
  You celebrated getting the job, so now you're embarrassed to admit you hate it.
• 4:15
  You told everybody about the business, so now you think you have to keep pouring
• 4:20
  money into something that is not working.
• 4:24
  You have moved across the country and told everybody this was your fresh beginning.
• 4:29
  And now you're thinking, how am I going to look going back?
• 4:34
  Free? That's how you're going to look. Listen, you don't owe anybody continued
• 4:40
  misery just because they witnessed your excitement at the beginning.
• 4:45
  Sometimes the fearless decision is admitting, I started this,
• 4:51
  I wanted this, I believed in this, and now I know this isn't for me.
• 4:57
  That's not weakness. That's awareness. Because here's what I need somebody to
• 5:03
  understand on this Fearless Friday.
• 5:06
  A false start doesn't disqualify you from a fresh start. Let me say that again.
• 5:14
  A false start doesn't disqualify you from a fresh start.
• 5:21
  The flag isn't the finish. In football, when there's a false start,
• 5:25
  they don't cancel the entire game.
• 5:28
  They don't clear the stadium. The quarterback doesn't hand over his helmet and
• 5:32
  say, well, that's it for me.
• 5:35
  No, they assess the penalty. They reposition.
• 5:39
  They get back on the line and they run another play.
• 5:44
  Somebody needs to do that with life. Assess what happened.
• 5:49
  Take the lesson. Reposition yourself Get back on the line And run another play,
• 5:57
  Maybe this time you move differently,
• 6:00
  Maybe this time you don't ignore the red flags Maybe this time you ask better questions.
• 6:07
  Maybe this time you don't rush. Maybe this time you prepare longer.
• 6:12
  Maybe this time you stop trying to prove something.
• 6:17
  Maybe this time you trust yourself and God enough to move when it's time to move.
• 6:25
  But whatever you do, don't confuse one false start with the end of your game.
• 6:31
  Your life is bigger than one decision, bigger than one relationship.
• 6:37
  Bigger than one career, bigger than one move, bigger than one failed attempt,
• 6:45
  bigger than one version of yourself that didn't quite make it when you thought it would.
• 6:51
  You are allowed to begin again and again and again if necessary.
• 6:59
  Because sometimes your greatest comeback doesn't begin with some huge victory.
• 7:04
  Sometimes it begins quietly with you deciding, I'm willing to try again.
• 7:12
  Here's your fearless homework. Reset the play.
• 7:16
  This week, identify one false start you're still holding against yourself.
• 7:21
  Maybe it's personal, professional, financial, relational, physical, spiritual.
• 7:29
  Whatever it is, write it down.
• 7:32
  Then answer these three questions one what did it teach me not just what went
• 7:38
  wrong what do you know now that you didn't know when you first started,
• 7:44
  two what am i still carrying from it embarrassment regret.
• 7:52
  Fear, anger, disappointment, the need to prove something.
• 7:58
  Be honest about what's keeping an old false start alive in your current life.
• 8:05
  And three, what would my fresh start look like?
• 8:09
  And here's the catch. Your fresh start does not have to look like your false start.
• 8:15
  Maybe the fresh start isn't another relationship right now. Maybe it's learning yourself.
• 8:22
  Maybe it isn't immediately finding another job.
• 8:26
  Maybe it's finally figuring out what kind of work fulfills you.
• 8:31
  Maybe it isn't another extreme transformation. Maybe it's simply moving your
• 8:37
  body consistently and taking care of yourself,
• 8:41
  Your fresh start gets to be new Then choose one action that represents getting back on the line
• 8:49
  Make the call Submit the application Take the walk Have the conversation Cancel
• 8:57
  the thing Start the thing Research the opportunity whatever,
• 9:02
  your next play is run it because that penalty is already behind you the flag
• 9:10
  has already been thrown the lesson has already been learned
• 9:15
  now get back in the game this is coach c.
• 9:19
  And this has been another fearless friday edition of real talk for real life,
• 9:25
  remember you can recover you can reposition.
• 9:30
  You can restart because there is always room for a fresh start after a false start.
• 9:41
  And as always, live fearless, keep learning, keep living.
• 9:46
  This is Real Talk for Real Life, where we're realizing everyone is always learning
• 9:52
  and living your full experience.
• 9:55
  Make sure you're following me on Instagram and Facebook at Real Talk for Real Life.
• 10:01
  That's L-Y-F-E for more inspiration, merchandise, and motivation between episodes.
• 10:09
  This is Coach C. I'll see you in the next one.