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Horses, Hauntings & Highly Questionable Outfits · Shut Up and Ride

• 0:00
  Speaker A: Hey, listeners. So today we want to chat to you about Animal Friends pet Insurance.
• 0:04
  Speaker B: Yes, yes, we do, but it's not what you think. We're not here to give you a great long speech about insurance.
• 0:10
  Speaker A: I mean, that is a bit surprising because we know how you love to go on, Simon. Anyway, did you know that Animal Friends Pet Insurance was founded in 1998 on a commitment to create better lives for animals?
• 0:23
  Speaker B: No, Jenny, I didn't know that. I also didn't know they provided horse insurance cover alongside dog and cat cover until recently either.
• 0:31
  Speaker A: Yeah, and over the years they have actually supported more than 830 animal welfare charities here in the UK and around the world. And one of those charities is the Amazing Blue Cross. They have supported sick, injured and homeless pets since 1897 and are very close to our hearts here at Shut up and Ride.
• 0:53
  Speaker B: Yes, they are. Animal Friends directly gives funding to support their Horse Home Direct Scheme, an admission and adoption service that can not only help you find the right home for your horse, but also find the right horse for you if you're looking to adopt.
• 1:05
  Speaker A: Together, Animal Friends and the Blue Cross aim to support both pets and people in need, whilst reinforcing their joint commitment to championing animal welfare. You can visit animalfriends.co.uk BlueCross for more information. And before we forget, I need to be responsible and let the listeners know that this was a paid advert on behalf of Animal Friends Pet Insurance, just in case that wasn't obvious. Thank you for listening. I'm going to let Ben do the intro because he's looking so smug. You can start it.
• 1:44
  Speaker C: Hello and welcome to the Shut up
• 1:46
  Speaker B: and Ride podcast sponsored by Charles Owen.
• 1:50
  Speaker A: Lovely Charles Owen.
• 1:51
  Speaker C: We love Bish Bash, the only people sponsored by Charles Owen who swear regularly in the public domain.
• 2:00
  Speaker A: Speaking of which, we had an email. We had an email.
• 2:04
  Speaker C: Is it about me again?
• 2:06
  Speaker A: No, it's about me. Yeah, it's about me.
• 2:10
  Speaker C: Go on, what have you done?
• 2:11
  Speaker A: So lovely email from a lovely lady of who I shall not name has said how much she loved the Gemma podcast and it was the first one she ever listened to. But why on earth does Jenny have to swear so much? And she will not let her children listen to the podcast in future.
• 2:28
  Speaker B: But you weren't the only one like Gemma swore quite a lot and I swore quite a lot as well.
• 2:31
  Speaker A: Yes, she called Laura Collett a wanker. So why she.
• 2:36
  Speaker B: Why she, you know, fingered you out?
• 2:38
  Speaker A: I do swear a lot, but I. And so I was very polite in my reply as on behalf of Jenny, it also shocks me that people think that we have a team that reply to these things. And it's not just me you're emailing. But no, it's very supportive. Loves the podcast and wants to make sure that children can listen to it. But a little bit of me is, why does everything have to be all right for kids? I'm sorry. Let's have something that's not for children and for horsey people to have. We are for the people who do not want their children to listen. This is basically. Who's not been in a tack room? Who's been in a tack room that doesn't swear? Like, I feel like this is a more realistic podcast for the horse world. So I apologize to that lady, but I'm not gonna stop fucking swearing.
• 3:26
  Speaker C: Doesn't our podcast have the explicit label? And we held our first live event in a pub.
• 3:32
  Speaker B: Yeah, like, well, and also, a lot of. A lot of parents are fine with it. They say, like, they say it's fine. My kids have heard that before, so it's not a problem. And it's not like we go crazy with it.
• 3:44
  Speaker C: It's not like there are some worryingly young kids on the tour sometimes. And you're like, you've listened to this, haven't you? They're like, yeah, they love it. It's like, cool, all power.
• 3:54
  Speaker A: That's all right.
• 3:54
  Speaker C: Like, on that note, if you are thinking of coming to see US on the 4th and 6th of February, 4th at Unicorn 6 at Bishop Burton, we're going on tour again with our live podcasts. So if you want to bring your kids and listen to an episode beforehand, we will not check IDs on the door, but we are not the BBC and anything can happen. So, yeah, get your tickets over on the Super Cross country website or right now.
• 4:19
  Speaker B: Ben, that was. That was amazing.
• 4:20
  Speaker A: That was really good. He should be a TV presenter. Well done, Benjamin.
• 4:24
  Speaker C: What a segue.
• 4:26
  Speaker A: We did have a few people message on Facebook saying, can kids come? And I'm like, have you listened? And they were like, yes. I was like, excellent. Yeah. You know what you're in for. We were slightly politer on the tour, I feel. I don't think we swore on the.
• 4:38
  Speaker B: There was very little swearing on the tour.
• 4:40
  Speaker C: We did. We well behaved.
• 4:41
  Speaker A: Yes. Simon didn't get his willy out to prove how big it was or anything inappropriate, so it was fine.
• 4:47
  Speaker B: No, I'm thinking might happen this time. You just never know.
• 4:51
  Speaker C: Not to aggravate people when they send complaints, but I feel like we should find One of our fruitier episodes and be like, why don't you try listening to this one instead? To be fair, it was.
• 5:04
  Speaker B: It was quite like. The burly one with Gemma was quite fruity, wasn't it?
• 5:08
  Speaker A: Yeah, she was quite so good. It's been one of our most quickly listened to pods. But then I did point out, maybe go back and listen to some of the good we do with the podcast, like the menopause episodes and the charity episodes. And so we're not all bad. We're not all bad.
• 5:25
  Speaker B: We've done a lot now, haven't we?
• 5:27
  Speaker A: We have, but we're not for everyone. And I'm all right with that. I am all right with that.
• 5:32
  Speaker C: You can't be everybody's cup of tea, but you're someone's shot of whiskey. That's. Yeah.
• 5:37
  Speaker B: And if we're not, then just fuck off, Simon.
• 5:42
  Speaker A: Everyone thinks you're so nice.
• 5:45
  Speaker C: Simon just said speak like that on YouTube. Does he?
• 5:48
  Speaker A: No. Saves it for TikTok.
• 5:53
  Speaker B: Oh, yeah, no, I do my. My TikTok. They're swearing on my TikTok.
• 5:57
  Speaker A: Do you find it quite hard keeping up this nice man Persona when you're an absolute twat?
• 6:04
  Speaker B: When I'm actually Dr. Evil?
• 6:06
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 6:08
  Speaker B: No.
• 6:09
  Speaker A: Oh, no, he is nice. Really. He is nice. Really.
• 6:12
  Speaker B: Not as a general rule. Every so often, yeah, I slip. But it's just normally when I'm in a really bad mood or if someone's been an ass.
• 6:21
  Speaker A: So, yeah, yeah, I think that's quite well deserved. You are a lovely human, really.
• 6:27
  Speaker C: I had a moment like that the other day. I was on the phone, on the phone. I was on the sofa with Wilde having a lazy afternoon while George was out and the phone rang and I answered it like, hello. Yes. And then like, is that Ben Atkinson? Yes. And then basically it was this lovely lady trying to sell me a spectacular horse really cheap because she wanted me to have it and I was like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
• 6:52
  Speaker B: Please.
• 6:53
  Speaker C: I was. I was with my son. I was asleep. I wasn't ready. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I answered the phone in that way.
• 6:59
  Speaker A: Seat. Right. There is the difference between Mum's parenting and Dad's parenting. So when I have my kids, I am coloring outside football, doing all of this, blah, blah, blah, blah. No, no, don't stop for a minute. When my husband has the kids on a weekend, it is some serious, hardcore Netflix that goes on and Greg is having a snooze on the couch. Yeah, it's just yeah, just right. It's my.
• 7:24
  Speaker C: If my 18 month old wants a slip, wants a nap and wants to cuddle, I'll cuddle him. Although I have to say, right, I'm very pleased because he's got a brand new favorite thing to watch. One of them is about combine harvesters. One of them is called Tractor Ted, which is on YouTube and it's real life farming that they just film and then put kids songs to. So it's like we're gonna cut and bail hay today. And that's pretty amazing. But what I actually Mean is a YouTube channel called Rodeo Time, which is just a load of guys. A guy called Dale Brisby, he's amazing, really funny and he has a ranch where they train people to ride bucking balls and bucking horses. And wild loves it. So we just have rodeo on in the house for my toddler to watch. He's just mad for it and he
• 8:12
  Speaker B: was talking, he was talking earlier.
• 8:14
  Speaker C: Yeah, we've got lots of words now. It's made life a lot more difficult.
• 8:18
  Speaker A: Wild.
• 8:18
  Speaker B: I've not heard that.
• 8:19
  Speaker C: You're like wild, I need to change your bum.
• 8:22
  Speaker B: No.
• 8:25
  Speaker C: Wild. Do you want to get off your pony?
• 8:28
  Speaker B: No.
• 8:30
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 8:31
  Speaker A: No. Well, you could be like Delilah. Delilah said to me, we were in the coffee shop the other day and it's because I like my morning cappuccino, I like buying it, I don't care. I like someone else making me a coffee. Judge me if you will. And Delilah was like, can I have a steamer? Which is like the Canadian version of a baby chino and basically hot milk. And I was like, no darling, I can make you hot milk at home. And she just looked me straight in the eye and she went, we have coffee at home.
• 8:57
  Speaker C: Did you cave?
• 8:58
  Speaker A: No. Little fucker. I was like, she's completely right. I was like, you are seven, you're not meant to be that quick witted. So yeah, I got judged and schooled by my 7 year old.
• 9:09
  Speaker C: I like it when people just tell me ridiculous crap about their kids and I'm like, nah, I know someone who's child, 6 years old and they're like, oh, she came, you know, the other day, she asked me, she was like, oh, what's the economy? And I was like, oh, how do you even explain that? And I'm like, did she fuck? No way. Nah, that didn't happen. Right? Yeah. So I've had a struggle little week. So last week, all right. Yeah, last week I, I'm looking after a couple of cobs for my friend that's in Australia. She's gone traveling. She's a physio. She's absolutely incredible. And she was like, didn't want to sell her childhood ponies. Would I look after them while she'd. Australia, amazing. They broke into a field with my top horses and absolutely laid the crown.
• 10:00
  Speaker B: No.
• 10:00
  Speaker C: Out of my best horse. One of my best horses. One of my duns that I do all the bridal less pf and passage on and stuff. It came in it's back legs. Legs were shredded. They'd been just asked to ask double barreling. It wouldn't. It wouldn't wait there on one of its back legs.
• 10:18
  Speaker A: Oh, good God. Which horse is it? What's the ones? What's it called?
• 10:21
  Speaker C: Sablo.
• 10:22
  Speaker A: Oh, okay, I know which one now.
• 10:23
  Speaker C: And I got in, called the vet immediately having an absolute nervy be. And the vet arrived. We inspected him for ages and she was like, yeah. So it's one of two things and please note, in no way am I saying that I'm not. No, she did a really good job. But she was like, I'm really sorry. It's one of two things and they're like completely polar opposites. She was like, he's either bruised his soul really badly.
• 10:51
  Speaker A: What? Internal soul?
• 10:53
  Speaker C: Yeah. Or he's broken his pedal bone.
• 10:57
  Speaker B: What? Christ.
• 10:59
  Speaker C: And I was like, are you, you what? She's like, yeah, but because of all the swelling that's come up, his back legs had already bloomed. She was like, let's wait 48 hours and if he's still not weight bearing then we'll X ray.
• 11:15
  Speaker A: Why can't you just X ray straight away?
• 11:17
  Speaker C: That's what I. But she was like, she was adamant. She was like, I really don't think it is a broken fetal bone. Give him a butte, keep him in. And he was like, not great. The day after. And then I came out on the third day and you wouldn't have known anything had happened. Father. Cuts on his legs, legs have gone down. It was a bruised soul, but I had the most traumatic time through that.
• 11:43
  Speaker B: There's nothing worse. I find there's nothing worse like when like a horse is injured, especially post competition and they've got a big fat leg and you're like, oh, I think this is done a tendon or whatever it might be and then you have to wait for, for it to be scanned. That I'm just terrible, then I can't cope with it. As soon as I know what the situation is, if it's something bad, then I can Then deal with it and make the horse comfortable and whatever, whatever. And then I'm fine. But when I don't know, I really struggle with that.
• 12:12
  Speaker C: These have been the vets for the Atkinson's for a good 20 years, if not longer.
• 12:15
  Speaker B: So they know how you roll.
• 12:17
  Speaker C: They know the game. They are. To be fair, the reason I love them is because they're so straight with us. They're not namby. Like, we had an old horse put down a couple of weeks ago, bless him, like, well into his 20s, had a good run.
• 12:29
  Speaker A: Oh, he's one of your dad's old ones.
• 12:31
  Speaker C: Yeah. And he had. He was a gray, so he had melanomas. And honestly, the vet came down, we've like, top vet, top man, boss man came down, looked at him, just says, nah, he's like, it's time. Done. I was like, cool, that's all we wanted. That's fine. I'd rather that than you say, oh, we could try, like, if it's. If it's time, it's time. But like, you say the worst thing is the. Especially for a horse like that. I was like, your entire skill list involves your back legs.
• 12:59
  Speaker A: Oh, my God.
• 13:00
  Speaker C: Like, yeah, but luckily he's all right. But, oh, I was very moody for a surprise for a few days.
• 13:09
  Speaker A: Is it like, do you think, what is the first reaction for you? Is it you, like, worry for him, worry for your career, worry for, like. What do you mean? Like, the flash, the eyes?
• 13:26
  Speaker C: Like, in my heart, I worry for the horse. In my head, I'm like, we got to make plans.
• 13:33
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 13:34
  Speaker C: So over.
• 13:36
  Speaker A: You have to be so practical. This is how you earn your living. It is all very well, wearing your heart and your sleeve and everything, but you have to go into like, holy shit mode. But you also have to go into what's best for the horse mode. What's going to be their future? Do you know what I mean? You have to think very quickly, which doesn't always coincide with the fact that you want to sit in a corner and sob and hug your horse.
• 13:55
  Speaker C: No. Well, luckily, I've had some good training. Or not luckily, unluckily, I've had some good training at this, because what we now 26. So in 2024, Mojo got injured and he was out for a year, so I had to work around that. Then 2025, Malik was out for a year. So I've got quite good at that game now. And so I'd rewritten every single performance we do, shifting other horses into different patterns. And on the third day if he wasn't better or looking at improvement, then I would start dismantling the teams that we have and retraining horses in new
• 14:29
  Speaker A: positions because that can come across as. And I know this is the same with you, Simon, when you've had horses like Vinnie who've had injuries, and it doesn't mean you don't love them any less when you're seen to be going into, right, what is the future for this horse? What can it do? What can't it do? What, what do we have to do? Work wise, it can look almost from the outside, a little bit like you're being very practical and heartless, but I think some riders as well go into that mode because you can't let yourself almost be too emotional all the time. Do you know what I mean? It's quite. It's hard. But you have to be also practical. Even though I think if you get.
• 15:05
  Speaker B: If you let yourself get too emotional about it, then you make the wrong decisions.
• 15:09
  Speaker A: Oh, yeah, good point.
• 15:10
  Speaker B: You've got. You've got to make the right decisions for, for that horse. And you know, and I don't know what you guys like, but when I get emotional about stuff, I get a bit flappy and I start doing. Start making silly, silly decisions. And so you have to be like, hang on a minute, run yourself in. Let's like make the right decision for this horse now and, and then you can be as upset as you want to be afterwards or whatever, but it's that, yeah, I suppose I don't feel like when you have like a massive drama or a disaster, like when, I don't know, something's kicked off and like, like you got a re. Injured horse in the back of the lorry, horse upside down in the back of a truck or something. And then, and you, like, if you go get all emotional about it, then you're not going to do anything, are you? Whereas, you know, you have. And it happens, isn't it? You like, right, I'm quite good in that situation, right, we need to do this, we need to. That needs the other. And then get it all kind of sorted, then it's all done and then, and then everyone's okay and everything's fine. And then once that happens, then I'm. Then I'm like, actually, I'm really upset about this.
• 16:06
  Speaker A: I have noticed that when you've called me and you're about to. You've had to make a decision on a horse and. Cause I've known you long enough now. There's been a few and you, literally, before I've even asked any questions, you've gone, no, Jenny. And he's doing this and this is the reason, and he's gone and he's in the field and I can't. And this is the life. He can't be ridden and he can't be doing this. And I'm like, simon, if you tell me that this horse needs to be put to sleep, I trust your judgment. I know, but it's almost like you reel through it all in your head, like, almost emotionless, because I'm not. I'm not thinking it's me. You're convincing here. I think you're making sure in your head you're making the right decision. And I just feel like I would
• 16:43
  Speaker B: imagine part of that is a little bit of ptsd. Like, I had. I had Douglas, who broke down really badly in the warmup at Burley several years ago, like 10 years ago, and. And it was a really bad injury and the owners made the decision that they were going to have him put to sleep. And it was in the Horse and Hound. They did an article on it in the Horse and the Hound, and I got quite a lot of grief for that.
• 17:12
  Speaker A: Did you?
• 17:14
  Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, it was really sad because he was literally the most lovely, lovely horse and such a character. Like, he was that mate that just like, everybody fancied and everybody loved, everybody thought was amazing and great and always wanted to be with at the bar. And he was the one that always had the girl and kept everyone hanging. Bit like Ben.
• 17:36
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 17:38
  Speaker B: And just. Just like. And just lovely and, like, just a lovely person and really hot.
• 17:43
  Speaker C: Bless you.
• 17:45
  Speaker A: But it was like, he was.
• 17:46
  Speaker B: He was so good. He was so good.
• 17:48
  Speaker A: But it was like, what happened to Paul, Carl, Hester when they announced that they'd put Utopia and Valegro down and the abuse they got online and the shit they got for it. And the amount of comments that I saw was, well, they don't want to pay another year's worth of insurance for them or. Yeah, it's too expensive to keep a horse through winter. It's like, what is wrong with you people? Like, because riders seem kind of, like, stoic on the outside when they talk about having to put horses to sleep. It doesn't mean that they're not crumbling on the inside. Do you know what I mean? It was just the comments that came out when those horses got put to sleep was just extraordinary. It's like, what is wrong with people? You're so horrible.
• 18:37
  Speaker B: Yeah, it was that. Yeah. I've had it happen lots of times now, where I've been. And I always want to be for lots of different reasons. This is. This isn't just horses being injured, but I've been there and I always. Especially if I've had a deep relationship with that horse, I always. I've always been there with them. Sometimes. Sometimes it hasn't been great and it's not a great memory to have, but I think it's my responsibility to be there.
• 19:03
  Speaker C: My dad and I in a fight about this because one of my old dressage horses, I decided it was time for him to go and booked my mate Will to come and do him. And I didn't know Will just because we're mates. He was like, I'll turn up when I turn up. Like, he wasn't sick or injured or anything, he was just really old. It was time. And my dad. I was out riding and Will turned up and dad just did it. And I got back and he was like, don't worry, I did that for you. And I was like. I was so angry because I was like, that was my job. I was meant to be with him. Like. Yeah, it's such a. It's such a different thing, like. And I don't think there's a right answer to that. Like, I feel like I should be there. I feel like I've made that decision. I should witness it and I should be there and I should. I don't witness them being taken away. Once they're gone, we have our.
• 19:56
  Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 19:57
  Speaker C: Then they're gone.
• 19:58
  Speaker B: That's it.
• 19:58
  Speaker A: I can't bear. It's when they're kind of. Then. Because it's not elegant removing. If anyone ever has to go through this, like, I actually think that's harder because there is no elegant way of removing a dead horse. No. Just to put it bluntly, even in.
• 20:14
  Speaker C: In a perfect position, it's not elegant. So when it's not perfect, it. No. Yeah.
• 20:20
  Speaker A: So if you want.
• 20:21
  Speaker B: I've never. I've never seen that and I don't want to.
• 20:24
  Speaker C: So, like, once they're not there anymore. No.
• 20:26
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 20:26
  Speaker C: I do have to say, I have to shout out my mate, Will. He. Like, we have our shot. Always have. Always will. And I think he's so sweet because he carries platting bands and scissors with him so that he can get people's hair and stuff for them. Like, just does it on autopilot. So then if they forget or, like, he's like, there's yours. That's nice. Because there's so much going on. I just don't think there is a correct answer. What. I guess what I'm saying is, just because me and Simon have said we like to be there, I think if you know that you don't have to be, if you don't want to be, that's fine, but I just think it has to be so personal. And we've, like, dad and Granddad always taught me that it's the last good thing you can do for a good horse.
• 21:05
  Speaker A: Yeah, but. And then equally, if you can't keep your calm and be the person you. Your horse knows in that situation, you're not going to do the horse any favors being there and being like, just beforehand. If they see you, like, absolutely upset hype, like, do you know what I mean? And you're close to the horse and you're going to worry it. That's probably not the best. You're probably not the best person to be there when it happens, if that makes sense.
• 21:33
  Speaker C: And what really pisses me off, actually, is the false empathy. Like, if someone's. There's a horse being put down that that person hasn't stroked or looked at for 15 years and then they're the one trying to win an Oscar on the yard and you're like, nah, fuck off. Also, you'll notice I never put anything online when we lose one. Never. I don't think other people need to know. I don't think it's private, like, it's. Yeah, I just think it opens you up. Like, you say that. I'm sure, though, for every 2,000 nice comments or whatever, there'd be someone being a knob. And I was just like, what's the point? I know the people who care care and it just. I don't see the point in putting it out there.
• 22:18
  Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, I've done. I've done both.
• 22:21
  Speaker C: I've.
• 22:21
  Speaker B: Like, when Bozzy, when Buzzy went, we kind of announced that, but he was. It was. He was like public property.
• 22:33
  Speaker C: Yeah, he went around.
• 22:34
  Speaker B: He went around Burley four times and badminton and. And people really, really loved him. So. And. But, yeah, but actually going back to what he was saying about being there or not like his own. She was like, I'm definitely going to be there. And I. And I. And I actually had. I didn't argue with him, but I was. I was like, I really don't think that's a good idea. Yeah, I think. I think it's better if you don't. I think you should say your goodbyes to him. And then. And then and don't worry, I'll be here. And yeah, I hope she doesn't mind me talking about that. But. But yeah, it's just. It's shit. It is shit. But you've got to do it right and you got to do. Do right by them first and then you can be upset.
• 23:08
  Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, 100%. Did I ever tell you what happened to my dog Phoebe Buffet, when she got put to sleep? So we rang them up because I was giving birth at the time and they were like, well, what do you want to do with her? Because my mum had had to take her. So the vet rang us to say, what would you like to do with Phoebe? As I was being rushed to hospital to give birth to Delilah a month early. And I said, obviously we would love to bury her in the garden, but we're not going to be able to because we're going to have a newborn. So they were like, what the options are the mass cremation and you get a little bit of it. Or we just throw in with other dogs. Or you can have a cremated separately. We'll put the ashes in a box. It's like 250 quid and you get to take her home. I was like, I want to do that. She's my best friend. Please do that. So anyway, Delilah was born a couple days later. I rang the vets just to say, oh, I was thinking I'd be hearing from you by now because I want to come and collect Phoebe's ashes. And they went quiet and they were like, oh, just one second. And so came back on the phone a couple of minutes later. Oh, the receptionist never passed on that information. She was just thrown in with everybody else.
• 24:16
  Speaker B: Oh, no, I was.
• 24:18
  Speaker A: I was pretty hormonal. This did not go down well. Sorry, Ben, is it more morally correct
• 24:23
  Speaker C: then at that point
• 24:27
  Speaker B: or to just lie?
• 24:29
  Speaker A: They should have lied.
• 24:30
  Speaker C: They should have just given you whatever full of ash. Yeah, this is your dog.
• 24:35
  Speaker A: Yeah, Hundred percent, just fucking lie. Like, they should have had a quick meeting. Let's just fucking lie. Take her money. I would have been a happier person and not 100%. 100%. In my hormonal hysteria. I was like, that was my best friend. I'm gonna tell the newspapers how awful you are. And the one, they were like, oh, we won't charge you for putting her down. Oh, good, thanks. But yeah, in my head as well later when I calm down, just lie. I'm not gonna get some dirt from the fucking garden.
• 25:09
  Speaker B: Like anything that brings up Amanda's favorite saying, which is what he don't know won't hurt him 100% and which is slightly concerning for me.
• 25:20
  Speaker A: Oh, yeah, that's not. That's not great for you. Maybe
• 25:25
  Speaker B: what I don't know won't hurt him. Okay.
• 25:28
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 25:29
  Speaker C: Definitely not.
• 25:30
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 25:30
  Speaker C: Is that. Am I really awful that I've never had a pet cremated? Because I just don't believe that they. Even if you pay for just your pet to be created, I just don't believe it is.
• 25:38
  Speaker B: Well, now Gorgeous Girl is on my windowsill still, and I don't really know what to do with her. I was talking about it with James earlier today. I might take her. And there's a footpath that runs past the Cotsmore Leaf of Burley. I thought I might go tip her in that so I can jump her every year.
• 25:54
  Speaker A: Aw. I think you should put her. Do you remember when you had that shit badminton and you went and played with her out the back of the house?
• 26:00
  Speaker B: Yeah. On the cricket pitch.
• 26:01
  Speaker A: On the cricket pitch.
• 26:03
  Speaker B: Yeah. She was so cool.
• 26:04
  Speaker C: Have you seen. Have you guys ever seen what they do some of the cowboys and stuff do in America where if you get cremated and then they put all the. They get your best horse out and tack it up, and then they put all the ashes on the back of the saddle and then send the horse to run off, like, in the. Like, run the horse across the countryside and all the ashes blow out of the saddle and stuff. I like that. I think that's.
• 26:26
  Speaker A: That reminds me, I did see an Instagram post where this woman goes, one. It goes wrong, spreading your friend's ashes, and she's cantering with the horse in a western saddle and she's trying to tip the ashes, but the wind blows and it spooks, all spins off, she falls off and the ashes just dump in her face.
• 26:42
  Speaker C: So good.
• 26:43
  Speaker B: Oh, no.
• 26:44
  Speaker C: Depending on the mate, though. If that was like, grandma's ashes, that would be really sad. But if that's like one of your mates, she'd be like, you fucker.
• 26:50
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 26:50
  Speaker C: You have to get me one more time.
• 26:52
  Speaker A: I know.
• 26:53
  Speaker B: So I've just come back from Malta. I was in Malta at the weekend for two days, and we were spreading my friend Caroline's ashes.
• 27:00
  Speaker A: Caroline Moore, the late, great Caroline Moore.
• 27:03
  Speaker B: Yeah. Who was amazing coach. And she. So, yeah, so we. So we went out there and obviously, like, Malta's beautiful, really warm, great weather. And on the morning that we were supposed to do it, it was literally. I woke up to a flash and I was like, what the hell was that? And it was lightning, lightning and pouring rain and blowing a gale and. And it was wild. And then we were like. And all because there are 17 of us of her friends all there. And then we were going out on a boat because she loved diving, so. Which is what? So she met her husband in Malta, which is why we went there. And we were going out on a boat to go and like, basically we were gonna go for swimming in the bay and then. And then spread the ashes on the water. But it was literally. And all her friends, lots of her friends were like, I don't know whether I want to go out on the boat. It's terrible. Anyway, so we started making our way and then all of a sudden it just cleared and there was just this bright sunshine and the wind went. And it was beautiful. And I was like, I'm sure that is her having a right old giggle.
• 28:01
  Speaker A: Yeah. Wiping you up. Do you believe in that? Like there is something, someone, somewhere. Like I'd like to believe Finn and Phoebe are up there having a right old jolly in the clouds somewhere.
• 28:14
  Speaker B: I'd like to believe it, but I'm not convinced. I think, yeah, I think once you're gone, you're gone. I don't know. Could be wrong.
• 28:21
  Speaker A: What do you think, Benji? You are the religious man in this.
• 28:24
  Speaker C: I wholeheartedly believe.
• 28:26
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 28:26
  Speaker B: And I heard.
• 28:27
  Speaker C: I had a Catholic priest on a lecture once, say that animals go to heaven because they're sinless. So I believe that as well. All of them. Every single one.
• 28:35
  Speaker B: That'd be a good one to believe.
• 28:36
  Speaker C: I had my ankle broken by a horse that had two names. One when he was good and one when he was bad. And his good name was Richard Tuggington and his bag name was Dick the Wanker.
• 28:48
  Speaker B: That's really good. Tuggington.
• 28:51
  Speaker C: Richard Tuggington.
• 28:54
  Speaker A: Dick the Wanker. That is amazing. I love that. Oh no, I agree. Animals are without sin and all awesome. Although if I could get my dog Woof to be nice to the new puppy occasionally, that would make my life a little bit easier. What do you want? I asked Simon this actually on the phone yesterday when we chatted for about an hour. What do you want to happen to you when you are gone? Just so I can make a note and make sure your wishes are upheld.
• 29:20
  Speaker C: Me?
• 29:21
  Speaker A: Simon wants to be burnt?
• 29:24
  Speaker C: Nah, I think I want to be buried. Good old fashioned, me.
• 29:30
  Speaker B: Jenny's gonna drop me in it now.
• 29:32
  Speaker C: Bury me in a churchyard. Actually, ideally I'd like to start burying our family at home. I'd like to make a cemetery at home.
• 29:39
  Speaker A: You know, that's, like, under the floorboards is Fred West. So that's not.
• 29:42
  Speaker C: No, I've got the spot for the John Wayne Gacy. Yeah, I. I've got it all picked out. I wanted Grandma and Grandma. Grandma and granddad buried at home, and dad was well up for it, but
• 29:52
  Speaker A: Mum was like, no, don't you have to get, like, permission or something to start putting it?
• 29:55
  Speaker C: Yeah, this is what I mean. Like, you have to. And it massively devalues your property, apparently. But I'm like, I'm not gonna sell it, so it doesn't matter.
• 30:02
  Speaker A: But you have to stay wild. You're not allowed to go and live anywhere else. We're all buried here.
• 30:07
  Speaker B: I get the rules.
• 30:08
  Speaker C: I think it's quite funny as well there, isn't it? Like, if you're buried on private land and then someone else buys you, I think that's quite funny.
• 30:17
  Speaker A: Come back and haunt them.
• 30:19
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 30:19
  Speaker C: Like, if in 500 years I get buried, like, I get buried here and then 500 years someone else owns the farm and they're like, who the fuck's that? I'm like, I don't know. We were buried here when we arrived.
• 30:28
  Speaker A: Oh, yeah. I definitely want to be buried and I want a massive tombstone and I want lots of people to come to my funeral. Even if you've only met me once, fucking come on down. You know how people like, oh, I knew them really well and they didn't, but they. They like the coming to the funeral bit. I'm like, you like that. If you've met me once you listen to the podcast, come to my funeral, go for it.
• 30:47
  Speaker C: Yeah. And I would say adding on to that, if you know of a funeral going on and you vaguely know the person and it's their funeral, go. Because there's obviously those special people that are there that you want there. But what really choked me and my family up on my grandma and granddad's funeral, they had a joint funeral because they died five days apart. The church was so full that it was standing room only, and there were people standing outside the church because they couldn't fit in, like. And that is. That just felt amazing on the day. So, like.
• 31:21
  Speaker B: Yeah, we're just. It just shows, like, how much they were loved and how much they were respected and. Yeah, yeah, it's great.
• 31:27
  Speaker C: So I think don't. If you're. If you're feeling lazy or you're like, I don't want to go to that funeral, just go, man up. Put your posh rags on and Go. Because it means a lot to someone else.
• 31:38
  Speaker A: That's a good point. Yeah, but it's always awkward. How did you know them? Oh, met them once in the bakery. Obviously made an impact. This is quite an appropriate podcast to talk about. Just before Halloween as well. We all going to come back, people.
• 31:55
  Speaker C: Our spooky, spooky podcast.
• 31:58
  Speaker B: My dad had.
• 31:58
  Speaker C: We had a hunter livery that was like a really old man. And then he became like a follower and stuff and used to get a lift with us and stuff back in the day. And he was really old and grumpy and he told my dad, he was like, if you come to my funeral, I will haunt you for the rest of your life. So my dad didn't go. My dad knew him for years and like, was really close with him, but he just turned to him one day, this old guy, and was like, do not come to my funeral. And if you do, I will haunt you.
• 32:29
  Speaker A: Why? That's weird.
• 32:31
  Speaker C: Yeah, dad didn't go. He was like, nah, screw that. So that I've been told. I'm not playing with those games.
• 32:37
  Speaker B: What would you do? What would you do if you're gonna haunt someone, guys? Would you like rattle some chains or what would you do? Oh, I can. Jenny. To be fair, it's mean of me to ask that because Jenny would have to actually come up with a plan of action. She would like, there would be a real set regime about how she was gonna scare the shit out of this person.
• 32:56
  Speaker C: Oh, I would 100%.
• 32:59
  Speaker A: I'd build up, they'd be like, right on Tuesday, just a subtle movement of an object. And I think I'd try and send
• 33:07
  Speaker B: the person and by Friday, a full poltergeist.
• 33:09
  Speaker A: Oh, yeah. And I'd try and send the person slightly mad, like just moving things or moving glasses or moving keys just to like really annoy someone first before the full on haunting commences. Yeah, definitely there'd be a plan of action. Simon, you know me too well.
• 33:26
  Speaker C: Absolutely.
• 33:26
  Speaker B: There would definitely be a plan. Benji would be a bit more like, yeah, I'm just gonna crack on in there.
• 33:31
  Speaker C: Nah, I just pop the little. Do you know what you call them on reins don't have buckles, do they? Where they attach to the bit. They have those weird things.
• 33:39
  Speaker B: Yeah, billets.
• 33:40
  Speaker C: Yeah, I just pop that out so it looked like it was fastened but wasn't. That's what I would. Oh, mean. And I'd like drop syrups by one hole on one side.
• 33:52
  Speaker A: Oh, that's a good one. That's.
• 33:55
  Speaker C: I just go around Doing stuff like
• 33:56
  Speaker A: that hiding hat silk. So they had to ride as an
• 34:00
  Speaker C: egghead shortening hat strips. So when people try and do their hat and they're like, it's really uncomfy today, like, yeah. All the stuff we used to do to each other as kids. Top tip, if you want to wind your friend up, who rides, right, what you want to do is if they've got stirrups that buckle. And I know that that's like not common thing these days. If you've got posh tack, but if you've got buckled stirrups, you can pop the pin out. So. But so the stirrup just stays there. But the moment they go to get on and they put their foot in the stirrup, it'll fall. And then if you really want to get them, wait till next time and then do that to the first one and they'll do it and like, ha, ha, ha ha. But you've also done it to the second one. So then when they do actually get on and they put their foot in the other stirrup, the other stirrup falls down as well. We used to do that to each other all the time when we were filming when we were bored, we thought
• 34:46
  Speaker B: about that a lot.
• 34:47
  Speaker C: And undoing the reins, that comes from filming as well. You pop your mates little metal things out, his reins. So he sets off at a walk, then goes into a trot and then he goes to pull and the reins come off. This is because I literally finished my last exam at school doing my GCSEs and went on filming for like months. And we used to just terrorize each other doing stuff like that.
• 35:08
  Speaker A: Oh, I love it. I used to just ride up along my friends and steal their hat silks and then gallop off because no one wants to ride with an egghead. Like no one needs that. Or you ride up and undo their throat lash and just pull the bridle off.
• 35:21
  Speaker C: Would that. Is that be legal? To compete in a crash hat without a shot out of a cannon? So you could.
• 35:30
  Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. You don't have to have a silk.
• 35:34
  Speaker B: You can't go cross country with a peak, can you?
• 35:36
  Speaker A: No, I don't think so. Right. We've managed to do 40 minutes talking about death.
• 35:45
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 35:46
  Speaker A: On our equestrian podcast.
• 35:48
  Speaker C: Good. Very jolly.
• 35:51
  Speaker A: I want to talk about Benjamin. I have seen videos of you wearing a tight pink sequined outfit while standing.
• 35:56
  Speaker B: Oh, I saw that too. You looked amazing.
• 35:58
  Speaker C: Thank you very much.
• 35:59
  Speaker A: Tell us why you have been. Was this all of your dreams come true?
• 36:03
  Speaker C: No, it was. I've discovered my limit. So that was. That was. That was Horsemanship showcase and it was in September and it's.
• 36:14
  Speaker B: Was it too much?
• 36:15
  Speaker C: It was too much. As in I. I was already doing demos and lectures and lessons every day. And then on top of that was performing every night.
• 36:28
  Speaker A: And you had me messaging you going, will you fucking replace?
• 36:30
  Speaker C: I had you messaging me. And all our actors dropped out. Cause they got busy and stuff or clashed with whatever. And so we had no one to present it.
• 36:42
  Speaker B: Oh God.
• 36:43
  Speaker C: So then I acted the role and presented it and tweaked all of the script to make it work for me so that I could do it on top of everything else. So we were working 8am you know,
• 36:54
  Speaker A: you've got a really good friend who's a presenter, by the way. Just if you ever need one. Just insane Canada. You Ben anything.
• 37:02
  Speaker C: And. And we. Yeah, so we were working like 8am till 12, one in the morning with like doing the event and then rehearsing on a night. The theme. Coaching as well and. What? Sorry?
• 37:14
  Speaker B: And then coaching as well.
• 37:15
  Speaker C: Yeah. And like being at that event all day. Part of what I'm paid for at that event is to be in public areas so the public can grab you, you know, like to be asked questions between demos and stuff. And so the theme of the evening show was musical theater.
• 37:32
  Speaker A: The dream for you see.
• 37:34
  Speaker C: Yeah. So my character was the campest sort of producer director within this with my big lord butch lorry driver, who normally wears a cowboy hat. James. He was my assistant. Gareth. Gareth, darling. Gareth. Come now.
• 37:50
  Speaker A: Come on. Gareth.
• 37:52
  Speaker C: And it just got more and more out of hand as the week went on. And I played with different costumes. I wore the most ridiculous blue skin tight outfit with loads of like scarves and stuff hanging off me. That was lovely. There was the aforementioned velour sequined pink flared ABBA jumpsuit that I did the acting.
• 38:17
  Speaker A: Roman.
• 38:17
  Speaker C: I think that the thing that was insane about that is that I had. I didn't have time for a costume change so I had to have another costume over the top of my ABBA jumpsuit.
• 38:29
  Speaker A: Oh my God.
• 38:31
  Speaker C: And I just sweated and then stripped off and then I got to. Roman Ride to Voulez Vu. Gimme, gimme, gimme. Mamma Mia. It was great.
• 38:40
  Speaker A: Can we see a little bit of this on the tour? Can you bring your pink velour?
• 38:45
  Speaker C: I can try and get hold of it. I can try and get hold of my jumpsuit. Oh, it was. Honestly, it was the best fun. But we'd. We hired a massive Airbnb that like, 25 of us that were performing all stayed in every night and we had a hot tub. And I remember on the Friday night after dress rehearsal, I was just sat in the hot tub staring, and I was just like. Just. Everyone's like, you all right? I'm like, yeah, Aja. Yeah, this is it. I found my limit. This is too much. This is too much at once. I can't. I. I cannot physically do this. But, no, we had the most amazing time. And honestly, it is. The event is Horsemanship Hub. The event is run by Horsemanship Hub. The event is Horsemanship Showcase. And the performances on the evening was my team, the Atkinson Action Horses alongside OG Performance Horses and Steel Horse.
• 39:36
  Speaker A: Freddie was there.
• 39:36
  Speaker C: Yeah, Freddie was there. Freddie was. Freddie did some insane acts. He did like, a. A bit where his partner Holly was on the floor doing, like, flamenco stuff. And he was dressed as Phantom in the Opera. Phantom of the Opera. I saw this riding with the reins attached to his belt and then was holding two massive candelabra in his.
• 39:59
  Speaker A: Do not try this at home.
• 40:00
  Speaker C: People like bull fighting her. So, you know, like, he would canter towards her and then full pass out and pirouette and change and like, they did some insane acts. Like, Holly and Freddie also did a dressage act where they were riding Grand Prix dressage, but had giant strings of helium balloons, like balloon arches attached to the horses floating above them and stuff. Ollie pulled, like, the stuff out the bag. He brought a full Wild west stagecoach and put horses in it and then had people, you know, doing horse to Stagecoach transfers at the gallop and having fist fights on top and everything. Wow.
• 40:37
  Speaker B: Like, yeah, like, sounds incredible.
• 40:40
  Speaker C: My other. So you've seen the clips of me doing abba. One of my other acts that I did was the Lion King and got to dress in wonderful animal print. And we recreated the entire, like, stood on two horses that were loose, holding up a baby lion while we had, like, lines of laying down horses, then bowing horses, then rearing horses. Her circle of life and stuff. The most amazing time.
• 41:04
  Speaker B: So were you Mufasa?
• 41:06
  Speaker C: I was Mufasa in that, at that stage. And then I didn't really know what to do with Simba when I carried on in the act. So I just punted him like a rugby ball into the backstage. But the crowd liked that. It was fine.
• 41:19
  Speaker A: I'm surprised you didn't use Wild and hold him up.
• 41:22
  Speaker C: No. So we originally were going to use Wild as Baby Simba, but then we moved Lion King from opening Act 1 to opening Act 2.
• 41:30
  Speaker A: And a bit late.
• 41:32
  Speaker C: Too late for him. He'd have been a very grumpy lion cub.
• 41:35
  Speaker A: No one needs a crying child at these things.
• 41:37
  Speaker C: No, to be honest, Wild spent half of his time with Granny Jill, my mum, and Mama Linda, George's mum. Because honestly, the hours we work at that event, it's just. It would be wrong to take him.
• 41:53
  Speaker A: Well, like, working looked amazing.
• 41:55
  Speaker B: Well, I was going to say it's totally worth it though, because, like, the spectacle was absolutely incredible, wasn't it?
• 42:00
  Speaker C: Oh, we honestly. And it is every year and every year I have a breakdown on Friday night. And then come Saturday night I'm like, this is the best thing in the world.
• 42:07
  Speaker A: What does a Ben breakdown look like?
• 42:11
  Speaker C: Lots of lists strewn around me and just trying to make it all work. And this year trying to memorize lines because we arrive on the Monday and we rehearse. We put this entire show together just over that time.
• 42:25
  Speaker A: I think also you should bring some of this to the tour. I want to see you in an Abra outfit. I feel like this is part of something in my life I haven't seen yet.
• 42:32
  Speaker C: Okay, I will bring an Abra outfit, but I will buy a slightly bigger version.
• 42:37
  Speaker A: Oh, really?
• 42:38
  Speaker B: Because it did look a bit. It looked quite tight.
• 42:41
  Speaker A: It looked a little revealing.
• 42:43
  Speaker B: It was quite tight, but you're tighter shoppers. The bell bottoms were not at the bottom.
• 42:50
  Speaker C: No, they weren't. It was it.
• 42:52
  Speaker B: They were bell knees.
• 42:53
  Speaker A: Okay.
• 42:54
  Speaker C: If you'd like the absolute honesty. I was meant to do an Aladdin themed Roman riding act and then I saw the pink jumpsuit in the costume box and I was like, stop the train. I'm. We're fucking changing everything. I'm doing ABBA and I'm wearing that pink jumpsuit. The other. Yeah, my belt.
• 43:12
  Speaker B: My.
• 43:12
  Speaker C: My flares were a little high. They were three quarter flares. And more worryingly, there was quite. Our wonderful photographer and his partner James and Heidi had to do quite a lot of editing in the crotch area to make photos publicly. They were like, when you were moving on the night, it was fine, but looking at it on a picture, you don't.
• 43:37
  Speaker B: Not acceptable.
• 43:38
  Speaker C: What did they say to me? They were like, we just need to do some editing. I was like, what do you mean? They were quite sheepish about it. And then they were like along the lines of, you don't need to ask sir if he dresses left or right. I was like, okay, cool.
• 43:50
  Speaker A: That's too close. That is amazing.
• 43:54
  Speaker B: Oh, no. Was it being strangled?
• 43:56
  Speaker C: It strangled. It was. Looked like mushy. Peas and chip pepper.
• 44:05
  Speaker A: Oh, amazing. What about you, Simon? What have you been up to? Have you done anything fun?
• 44:10
  Speaker B: Nothing as exciting as that. I've done. Well, I haven't done my last event yet, but I've done the last events of the season. I've spoken to you since Blenheim.
• 44:20
  Speaker A: Well, we spoke to Gemma. You didn't.
• 44:23
  Speaker B: We spoke to Gemma.
• 44:23
  Speaker A: You went and with presenting at Blenheim, you were like all busy.
• 44:26
  Speaker B: I was, yeah, I was. I, like, I was. Did a bit of a double whammy. I went and I did like social media stuff for Blenheim Horse Trials and I was competing in the nine year old class and I really enjoyed that. It was good, really good, actually. And I got to interview some really cool people. The one that I can remember the best was probably Sam Eckroyd because he is like twice my height and that was really embarrassing. But he did so well. And, yeah, and he's a great jockey. One to definitely keep an eye on because he's got some good horses and he's a really good guy. And then I went to Little Downham and I did the Four Star at Little Downham and I did that with Miracle, the little grey horse Best Escapade is called, and he was absolutely amazing. He was seventh there and he won this. So he won this award. What prize? Which is given to the smallest horse to complete a clear round in the cross country in the Four Star. And. And he was epic, like, really cool. There's a really amazing picture, which is on my socials, of him jumping into the water and he was just like, yeah, I'm doing it. But. So the award, or the prize was donated by Polly Taylor, who owned a horse called Little Tiger. Little Tiger trophy. And back in like 2007, I was. I groomed for Little Tiger because my friend Phoebe Buckley rode her. Rode her in four badmintons, I think it was, and I think the same number of Birleys. And we went together and we had a great time and it was a real blast. But she really struggled with the dressage and she was always. She was like made up after the dressage and, like went up the leaderboard because of good jumping. And Polly wanted to give back a prize to the smallest horse and maybe one that's not really that great dressage.
• 46:18
  Speaker C: So.
• 46:18
  Speaker B: So she donated this prize, which then I won. I won this 20 years later. I won it last week. So, yeah.
• 46:24
  Speaker C: That's amazing. Full circle.
• 46:26
  Speaker A: Amazing.
• 46:27
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 46:27
  Speaker A: Is he little?
• 46:30
  Speaker B: He would be. I think he's probably 15, three he's
• 46:34
  Speaker C: my, I think, personal preference. I think Miracle is your most beautiful horse.
• 46:40
  Speaker B: He's very striking. He's very striking, and he's so cheeky that he's got. He's just got a real cool, sassy personality as well. So, like, yeah, he's definitely a crowd favorite.
• 46:53
  Speaker C: Buster looks more like a weapon. Like, he looks more like a machine. But Miracle. Miracle, they're both.
• 47:00
  Speaker B: They're both. They're both.
• 47:01
  Speaker C: Miracle is.
• 47:02
  Speaker B: They're both. They're both awesome in their own ways, but. Yeah, I know what you mean. Miracle's got this kind of. There's a bit more of a. He's just a bit more striking in some ways. But then. But then Buster moves better. Like, you know, but they're all different, and that's why. That's why I love it, love it so much. Like, they're so cool, all of them.
• 47:21
  Speaker A: Oh, very cool.
• 47:22
  Speaker C: Can I say I've looked. Sorry, I just wanted to quickly say one thing. I absolutely love watching your socials and stuff. Simon. Is that.
• 47:31
  Speaker A: Hi, guys.
• 47:32
  Speaker C: You are just as excited if you take a baby round, like an 80 or a 90 or you do badminton. It's the same level of, like, this horse is amazing, and I'm having the best time. And I love that. I love that you're not like, well, I'm at this thing, like, going through the lower level. You're like, no, today this horse did the best it ever has. And I am on cloud nine. And I really, really. Oh, I'm glad you think.
• 47:58
  Speaker B: I'm glad you think that, because I think it's really important to be like that, because, you know, like, it's just. Yeah, we're so.
• 48:04
  Speaker A: I just.
• 48:05
  Speaker B: I just think it's such a privilege to be able to do this with these horses and the fact that they want to do it with you. I think it's like, it should be celebrated every time we do something with them because we're really lucky to be able to do it. It's such a. It's such an honor and a privilege to be able to compete and do stuff with these horses. They let us do it, so, like, you've got to really enjoy it, and that's really important.
• 48:26
  Speaker C: I would go one step further. I just could say, go one step further and say, if you're only really proud of yourself, when it's a big named event, you're actually. You care more about what other people think than you are proud of yourself. Yeah, it's more being like, I was at this event than it was actually about how the horse went.
• 48:44
  Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, definitely. And you get. And you do get quite a lot of people like that. And, yeah, I think that's the hardest
• 48:51
  Speaker A: part about our sport. And translating it to the average Joe who doesn't know about our sport is like that bit where you ride in and you go, by the way, I'm just pleased if this one doesn't kill me. And you can't tell the judge that before you go in. And you can't if it's dressage or if it's show jumping, you're like, oh, if. If we have poles, I don't care. As long as I make it to the end, I'm happy. Whereas people watching go, oh, my God, he's shit. But they don't know that that horse has jumped out of seven arenas, decked four people, put two people in hospital and tried to kill everyone it's ever met. And now, finally, it's letting you have a fun time with it. It's like, no, no, you can't say that.
• 49:32
  Speaker B: I think that's one of the reasons that why I. I'm not. I do enjoy it, but I. I particularly enjoy the train training the horses and doing it at home. I don't particularly en. Like, you could have this hugely gifted, talented horse that moves amazingly and is built naturally in the correct way, and then you've got one that's not. That's like, built massively on the forehand. And especially in the eventing brigade, if you've got like something a bit thoroughbred or whatever and doesn't move as well, and you've got this one that doesn't move as well and isn't built.
• 50:02
  Speaker C: Built right.
• 50:02
  Speaker B: It try his absolute damnedest to do everything that you're asking. And it has improved so much in the last six months. You're just so pleased with it. And it gets absolutely slated because it's not doing. And then you've got this other one that is so gifted but doesn't really care. And actually, you know, it can make mistakes and it's forgiven. And that I find really frustrating. Yeah, like, little Freddy can remember little Freddy, Little Chess I have, who probably also learned, like, he was built completely downhill. And so it didn't really matter what he did. It didn't matter how hard he tried or how brilliantly he, like, did a mistake free test, he would still get slated because of how he was built. And I find that really.
• 50:37
  Speaker C: Would you. Would you at least get bad score, nice notes? Like, he did really well.
• 50:42
  Speaker B: Yeah, for him yeah, he did really well. Bad luck.
• 50:45
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 50:46
  Speaker C: For a three legged cow. I never knew that a three legged bovine could do such a nice test. Well done.
• 50:55
  Speaker B: You did brilliantly.
• 50:56
  Speaker C: Yeah, that's. Dude. Guys, just to get into Liberty, no one knows what they're looking at and those of us who do just keep our mouth shut. So like you just get told you're good. It's fine.
• 51:05
  Speaker B: Yeah, I should do. I should, I should, I should bring them over. I need to bring.
• 51:08
  Speaker C: You never play. But no, I think that's really harsh. Can I ask one of my ridiculous stupid questions?
• 51:15
  Speaker A: I don't think we're going to be able to stop you. So it's not stopped you in the past.
• 51:18
  Speaker B: Probably won't be able to answer it.
• 51:20
  Speaker A: Change the habit of a lifetime.
• 51:22
  Speaker C: Is it equal marks for each of the three stages of the three dopam.
• 51:26
  Speaker A: Oh, good God. How long have we been doing this podcast?
• 51:30
  Speaker B: So no. So you start with your dressage.
• 51:35
  Speaker A: Is it.
• 51:35
  Speaker C: I don't know.
• 51:39
  Speaker B: As in which carries more weight. Well, they're just, they're judged in different ways, aren't they? So, so like, so you've got. Your dressage test is a penalty score. So you're given the positive marks and then it's turned into a penalty score. And I can't remember what, how they do that, but they multiply something by something and then you've got penalty score and then, and then whatever you get penalties wise in the cross country, then that's added onto the dressage score and then whatever you get in penalties wise for the show jumping, which is rails. Rails or refusals. But then refusals are a lot less than if you ever have a refusal in the cross country. And then that gets added at the end and then it's whoever has the lowest penalty score at the end. So basically, and James said this to me before, he was like when he. Because he, he's not horsey. And when I was trying to explain to him how my sport worked, he was like, oh, right. So basically whoever wins is the least bad.
• 52:27
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 52:27
  Speaker A: Yes. I was like, yeah, I think that's probably about right.
• 52:32
  Speaker C: I don't know. That just makes me like in my little brain that makes a lot of sense and I probably did know that.
• 52:38
  Speaker B: So I suppose. But, but like it's a really good question though. Which one carries the most weight then
• 52:45
  Speaker A: like the dressage I would have.
• 52:46
  Speaker B: Well, must do then, mustn't it really?
• 52:48
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 52:48
  Speaker B: Because that's your starting point. Yeah, but they have changed that. They've. They've changed. Oh. And don't ask me how, but they've changed it mathematically so that the scores are so much closer together. Like, there was one point probably about 15, 20 years ago when, like, they mark you. And then like I remember doing. I remember doing a dress sales test at Blair Castle three day event and I think I got 84 or something. And Pippa Funnel or somebody was in the lead on like 30 and I was like, so basically she has to have like three refusals before I'm gonna be anywhere near her.
• 53:21
  Speaker A: She has to die. Death is the only way you can beat her. Yeah.
• 53:25
  Speaker B: And they have changed that. So it's. So it's not quite like that anymore. But that was like. That was back in the 1900s.
• 53:30
  Speaker A: So no matter how fast west back when they still use carts to get the.
• 53:36
  Speaker B: Back when God was a lad.
• 53:39
  Speaker C: I have to say, this is why I think my dad funneled me into show jumping as a kid. Because it just made the. It made me the least cross in terms of scoring.
• 53:48
  Speaker B: Well, because, like, you have a fence down.
• 53:49
  Speaker C: Bad luck. Yeah. You get round clear or you don't. And you get round if you're not
• 53:53
  Speaker B: fast enough or not fast enough. That's a shame. It's not that well, actually. But you did it quite nicely. So therefore we're going to give you some extra marks.
• 54:01
  Speaker A: When we're getting stressed in an event and we've got to go live or whatever, I'm like, guys, it is just herbivores jumping sticks. That is all we are doing here. We are not curing cancer. If it all goes tits up. It is fine. It's just. We're just filming herbivores jumping sticks and that's essentially. Poles down good, bad, poles up good. That is show jumping. Simple. Go fast. That's it. Hold on to the mane and kick. Right. I got a puppy.
• 54:32
  Speaker B: Is that what's annoyed you this week?
• 54:34
  Speaker A: No.
• 54:35
  Speaker B: Oh, good. Not yet.
• 54:36
  Speaker C: Aw.
• 54:38
  Speaker A: And he was asleep, so I don't know how long before he's gonna start being very annoying. He's chewing my bookmarks at the moment. This is Lieutenant Bradley Rooster Bradshaw. Anyone who wants to see a picture of him, go on my socials. He's very.
• 54:50
  Speaker B: She was gonna call him Simon, but she changed her mind.
• 54:52
  Speaker A: Cause she's called terrible. But I was like, if Simon ever decides he doesn't like me any and we fall out. I'm like, I can't have a dog called Simon. It's just. Yeah, it'd be too heartbreaking.
• 55:03
  Speaker B: One random, random reason
• 55:08
  Speaker A: I Know, I just. No, my kids love Harry Potter and they wanted to call him Sirius Black, but I was like, can you imagine if we shorten it to Siri? Siri? My phone would just go off the whole time. So I was like, no, that is not happening. It's been quite entertaining choosing the name, but. Yeah. Cause my other dog is Lieutenant Pete Maverick Mitchell from Top Gun 1. So this one is Lieutenant Bradley Rooster Bradshaw, or Rooster to his friends. I. Yeah. Puppies are hard work, aren't they? Monumentally stupid at times. But we went to go and get this puppy from a place called Campbell river, where my friend lives because she bred him. He's a border collie. Also a breed I swore I would never get because I'm like, they're working dogs. You shouldn't have them at home. Yeah. She was like, I've got the run. You can have this one. Oh, okay. Went to Campbell river. And she. Her parents were like, oh, while you're here, we'll show you around a bit. I have had 5 million holidays rolled into four days. I'm not even kidding. On the first day, we're gonna go and watch some bears eating by the water. We saw 14 different bears eating salmon fighting meters away from us. I was like, oh, Sharon. Sarah's parents are called Sharon and Kevin, or as we've renamed them, Shazza and Captain Kev. Sharon, being Canadian, never knew that people in England were called Shazza if they're called Sharon. She. I'm not sure how funny she found it. So we saw bears, and then they were like, oh, we might take you out on our boat. We saw humpbacks, sea lions playing in the water. We caught salmon. Then the next day, she was like, should we go out on the boat again? So this time we went crabbing, caught crabs, had two pods of dolphin swimming by the boat, spraying us with water. And then they were like, oh, we'll catch rockfish and feed it to eagles. What now? So we caught a rockfish, threw it out, an eagle dived down and got it and ate it. It's like, are you fucking kidding me? I like living a wildlife documentary. The morning we go to leave, get down here. The orca are here. We followed a pod of orca for eight miles with two baby orca. It's like, Jesus Christ, this is insane. I've literally done, like, what people pay to go on holiday for. And then on the last day, I was like, oh, I'll have a go at the fishing thing. I've never done fishing. And everyone was having A go. And I was like, oh, can I have a go? No instruction. And I'm wheeling it up because something pulled on it. This is the hardest thing I've ever done. They're like, don't be ridiculous. You're doing a high rock. So I was like, could someone take over? What I can hear is Shazza going, do it for womenkind. Pull it up, pull it up. Everyone laughing because they think it's this tiny little rockfish. And then out of the water comes a creature from the deep, an orca. All you can hear is Gregor on the camera going, that's the biggest fish I've ever seen. I caught some giant lingcod. It was enormous. It weighed as much as Delilah. It was the biggest fucking thing. It was absolutely insane. It was absolutely enormous.
• 58:04
  Speaker B: Are they tasty?
• 58:05
  Speaker A: We weren't allowed to eat them. Cause it's the wrong time of year. So we had to put him back.
• 58:09
  Speaker C: I just googled it. Don't eat that.
• 58:13
  Speaker A: Look at the size of that.
• 58:14
  Speaker C: It's huge.
• 58:18
  Speaker A: Jenny. That.
• 58:19
  Speaker B: That is a beast.
• 58:20
  Speaker C: That's a hideous fish.
• 58:21
  Speaker A: That's my first ever fishing.
• 58:22
  Speaker C: That's a hideous fish.
• 58:23
  Speaker A: It was bloody amazing.
• 58:25
  Speaker B: That is really amazing. That is pretty cool. That's a pretty epic weekend.
• 58:29
  Speaker A: I know. And then you kind of feel like a bit of a twat. So I put a few posts on Instagram. I'm like, oh, no, everyone hates me now. But why? No.
• 58:36
  Speaker C: Never feel like that.
• 58:37
  Speaker B: Is that not the whole point of Instagram?
• 58:39
  Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. That's so true. But what I loved is Sarah, who's my friend who rides who I got the puppy off. She was there fishing, wheeling the salmon in, gutting it in front of the fit kids. Like getting the heart out so the kids could hold it. And I just do think it's quite important, going back to death again, that if you're going to eat it, you should see where this stuff is. Like, it was quite like girl power, like watching her do all of this stuff with my kids and making them hold the dead fish and things like that. It was quite cool. It was very cool. I don't know how you guys feel about that, but I thought that was quite an important lesson for my children. And if you don't like it, you can't eat it.
• 59:18
  Speaker C: No, we had. We did all that as kids. Hunt game. Kill it, skin it, gut it, eat it. That's where food comes from. If you don't like that, then make different life choices.
• 59:30
  Speaker A: Yeah. Anyway, that was my life at the moment.
• 59:34
  Speaker B: That's something Sounds very wholesome.
• 59:36
  Speaker A: It's very wholesome. What's annoyed you this week before we go?
• 59:40
  Speaker C: What's annoyed me this week?
• 59:42
  Speaker A: Mine is food menus for kids. Why? Why the holy Jesus. When you go to a restaurant, lovely restaurant, but wherever you go, and it's in England as well, but the kids menu, cheeseburger and chips, nuggets and chips. Like, why can't you have rice for the kids or like nice food for the kids? And the hotel we stayed in recently, it was chicken or just the shit that they could eat and. Or the option was replace chips with a salad for an extra $4. What?
• 1:00:18
  Speaker B: But can the kids not have dead up menu though?
• 1:00:20
  Speaker A: Like twice as much and they don't eat it all.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker B: But then, because you're not often as a starter.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker A: Yeah, but it's often like over complicated. Whereas kids, like want the noodles but not so much veg in it. Do you know what I mean? Kids menus, they're an absolute bloody nightmare.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker C: I do have to agree with you with this because Wild eats anything and then I'm. And then I'm going to give you a list of things. He doesn't eat, but he eats like anything. But he doesn't like breaded food and he doesn't really like bread. Like, he eat it, but he's not bothered and he's not mad on chips. So we, when we go out to restaurants, we order for him off the normal menu and then we just tell them straight away, we're like, bring us a box because we're gonna put half of it in a box and take that home and eat the other half when we get home.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker A: But where's the main meal? The kids meal will be $10, and an adult's meal is $30. You don't want to be ordering off the main fucking menu. Damn it.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker B: This, this is. Reminded me of. You'll have seen it. Ricky Gervais in that. There's a clip of him and he's in the restaurant with a. With a little kid and he's like, oh, yeah, I'll have. I'll have what he's having. She's like, well, no, you can't have that because it's, you know, children. That's the kid. That's the kids menu. And he's like, yeah, it doesn't make a difference, does it? So like, she's like, no, you can't have it because. And she's like, well, he'll have two then. And she's like, no, we're not doing that because you'll just eat it.
• 1:01:43
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 1:01:43
  Speaker B: And he's like, no, I won't. And I'm. I'm all right. I don't need anything, thanks. Then she brings. It's really funny.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker C: He is still. Life is amazing.
• 1:01:52
  Speaker A: Oh, I love Ricky Gervais.
• 1:01:54
  Speaker B: Oh, God, it just. Doesn't it just get you? Oh, especially at the end when he's walking up the field and like with the dog and then she's there and then they both dis.
• 1:02:03
  Speaker C: Oh, yeah.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker A: But also, I agree, Jenny, that's annoying. Order, like, say, because Delilah does like chicken nuggets and chips. But I'll say, can I just have some, like, baby tomatoes or some chopped up cucumber on the side or some broccoli? Oh, no, we can't do that. It's not a side. Well, can you. Could you just. Can you just.
• 1:02:22
  Speaker C: Up here, it's not on the tail.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker A: Could you now, is it? Well, no, we can't do that. We don't have cucumber. I can see it in the person on the next door's table's fucking salad. I can see tomatoes and cucumber. I can see it. So you're saying to me, you cannot get some cucumber that is sent for something else and put it on my child's plate. That is an impossibility. Oh, yeah, we just don't do that.
• 1:02:44
  Speaker C: What?
• 1:02:44
  Speaker A: Why? All I want is a cucumber. Drives me mad. Sorry. I get angry. You can imagine.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker B: No, no, you don't.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker C: Yeah. Are you. Are you brandishing a kazoo at us throughout this?
• 1:03:01
  Speaker A: I'm trying to keep the puppy entertained, so I'm giving it a kazoo.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker C: Right. I was just like, what?
• 1:03:09
  Speaker A: Anyway, sorry, that was very ranty of me. What's annoyed you boys?
• 1:03:12
  Speaker B: What's annoyed you? Better.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker C: I don't know if anything has annoyed me this week. We went to hoys on Saturday. We go pretty on tonight. We weren't doing working, we were just there having fun.
• 1:03:21
  Speaker A: Were you annoyed that someone else was doing the Liberty without you and standing on horses?
• 1:03:25
  Speaker B: No.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker C: Santi Sierra. I've watched him since, like, I was a kid, since I just my. Since I was in year seven. I've watched him like. He's a massive inspiration. It was wonderful to watch him. The puissance. At the end of the puissance, there were two riders and basically they both. Neither of them cleared it, so they split the money, but one of them absolutely demolished the wall and one of them, like, got a brick. And I think in that scenario, oh,
• 1:03:57
  Speaker B: well, she fell Off. She fell off, didn't she?
• 1:04:00
  Speaker C: Yeah, it was nasty. Like, I'm so glad her and the horse are both okay and all of that. But what I mean is, it doesn't take Einstein to be like, well, that one jumped it better than the other one.
• 1:04:11
  Speaker B: Yeah. So that should win.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker C: That should win it.
• 1:04:13
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 1:04:14
  Speaker A: Because she ended up on the other side of it, demolished or not.
• 1:04:18
  Speaker C: So should it be, like, if. If they've both knocked some of the wall down and it's gonna be a draw, does the person who's knocked less of the wall down? I don't know.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker B: But also, like, she fell off. So, like, for me, falling off is worse than.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker C: In all fairness, I think it's unfair to say she fell off. I mean, if you ride it to the ground.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker B: Well, okay, they're part of company.
• 1:04:49
  Speaker C: No, but you know what I mean. My dad always used to say that to me. He's like, if you fall off, I'll be mad at you. If. If you and the horse go to the ground, then, you know, fair enough. You're allowed to. You're allowed to bail, but you're not. Don't. Don't be falling off. And the horse just be cantering along. Nah. But that is just food for thought. That was not annoyed. I was quite into the Puissance at that point.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker A: I. I think you raise a very good point. I think you do. You couldn't do it with your horse that you trained to gallop through walls.
• 1:05:20
  Speaker C: No, I couldn't. Not with Bobby.
• 1:05:22
  Speaker B: That's not ideal for the Puissance.
• 1:05:23
  Speaker C: I mean, he's also 15, two and built like the front end of a shovel. So I don't think he's really made for puissance.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker A: Built like a front end of a shovel. Right, Simi, quick one. What's annoyed you?
• 1:05:36
  Speaker B: Nothing, really. I went to. When I went to Little Down, I went and stayed with Polly, who I used to. Who I used to. Well, I groomed for Phoebe with her. Then I also rode a horse for her as well. And we say. And it's lovely, like, in her office and round towards the kitchen. She's got loads of photographs and some of them upstairs as well of, like, all the horses.
• 1:05:57
  Speaker A: And there's none of them of you, Simon. Oh, honey.
• 1:06:00
  Speaker B: Loads of them were of me. And it's just. They're not from. I think they're probably from like 2018, 2019 time. And I've aged so much.
• 1:06:14
  Speaker A: Oh, don't. So have I.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker B: And I just think it's just. I just think it's so sad that time just goes so fast. It goes so fast, like. So has that annoyed me? I suppose it's annoyed me, but, like, it's not annoying me. But I think you just got to appreciate the time that we've got because, like, it's just all going so quick.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker A: Or get a facelift. I plan on that for my 50th. That's what I'm gonna do.
• 1:06:38
  Speaker B: Yeah, thanks, Jenny, because that was quite a miserable one, wasn't it? So well done.
• 1:06:41
  Speaker C: Isn't there a weird thing with humans that once, like, because obviously we age, but isn't there a thing where we stop recognizing ourselves as much as, like, once we cross a certain threshold, aging. And that's why we feel older. Like, it hits us at mine. Like, our brain sees our face in the mirror as it's aged and is like, that's me, but it's not me. I'm sure that's a thing. I'm sure that's like an actual I.
• 1:07:08
  Speaker A: What's this? Why do I need jowls now? I look like a. I was stood in the mirror, like, lifting up, going, if I just did this bit here and this bit here, I'd look 10 years younger.
• 1:07:19
  Speaker C: Well, Jenny, there's two options. Either facelift or you can just eat more and just pat them out. Like, that's it.
• 1:07:24
  Speaker B: Yeah, that's the way it goes.
• 1:07:25
  Speaker A: That is a good idea. If I'm fatter.
• 1:07:29
  Speaker B: It's not looking in the mirror. It's not looking in the mirror that I think that it was just seeing these photos and I was like, that's not that long ago and I've aged a lot.
• 1:07:37
  Speaker C: Do you ever do that the backwards way when you look at a picture of yourself from when you were, like, 17 and you're like, yeah. No wonder they didn't let me into nightclubs.
• 1:07:44
  Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely.
• 1:07:46
  Speaker C: I look like I'm 12. Like,
• 1:07:51
  Speaker A: Ah.
• 1:07:52
  Speaker B: Ah.
• 1:07:52
  Speaker A: I look back and go, that was a ridiculously tight top to be wearing in front of Mark Todd. Yeah.
• 1:07:57
  Speaker C: That top was wasted on Carl Hester.
• 1:07:59
  Speaker A: Yeah. Never know. Gotta try. You gotta try. Right, you beautiful people. I love you both. This has been wonderful. I love the fact that we basically use this podcast as an excuse to catch up because it's just lovely. It is just lovely. I'm off to take this puppy for a wee. Please don't forget to buy tickets to the tour. We're going on tour with our new friends, Animal Friends Pet Insurance. Please come on, buy tickets. It is honestly going to be. Oh, God, he's whining now. He probably needs a wee. It is gonna be really good fun. We're also back at your horse live. Woo. Yay.
• 1:08:38
  Speaker B: Simon's teaching 6th, 7th, and 8th of November.
• 1:08:40
  Speaker A: Yeah. All right, puppy. But. Oh, I might. Do you want to just go out? I just worried something will eat him. That's the problem. Here we have coyotes and eagles and things, but, yeah, come on tour, buy tickets, like, share the podcast, do all these things. These handsome boys come and join our fun. It will be loads of fun, but I love you boys.
• 1:09:01
  Speaker C: We love you, too.
• 1:09:02
  Speaker A: I'm just gonna say, all that's left to say is
• 1:09:06
  Speaker B: shut up and ride.
• 1:09:09
  Speaker C: Ride, ride, ride.
• 1:09:12
  Speaker B: Shut up and ride.
• 1:09:14
  Speaker A: That was very tun.