Latest / TWRS-Leadership Straight, No Chaser / Asking for Help Makes You a Stronger Leader
Transcript
- Scott Brandt: It's interesting when we hear the quote that even the strongest get tired and asking for help isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of wisdom. Welcome back to together. are stronger leadership straight, no chasers. And it is a very interesting topic when we think about asking for help. And I think as leaders, depending on where you're at, you could be in an era. that is very small. And so you may feel like there's nobody that understands what's going on. You don't think that you can trust anybody. You feel as if you're on an island of your own. So with that thought and with those perspectives, yes, it's gonna make it hard because I've heard people talk about, I can't share this because nobody else understands me. Well, because you believe that you don't show up, you start missing out. And if you need help, you put yourself in a spot of disadvantage because of what shows up. What you're speaking, your mind's finding answers for whatever you're sharing and it's showing up. so George, when you, when you think about that, and I think we've had conversations on this, there's been times that you've highlighted that you're like, I just feel as if I'm on my own and we've talked and have highlighted, if you keep doing that, you're gonna stay stuck. And whatever you're searching for is not going to show up because whatever you're speaking, whatever you're projecting, your mind is finding that for you. Big G: When you get tired and you show up to everything and you get tired, it's just a mental... And there's times that you just want to just hand it to someone else in a sense, say, can you help me with this? And a lot of times as leaders, as myself, we don't want to share that information for whatever reason. it's as I look at it now. It'll selfish in a sense of you don't want to share something and you don't want to if you need a break Excuse me. Just got over being sick if you need a break Then take a maintenance break everyone deserves it right because we're going a hundred miles an hour and Then you need to stop but if you don't have anyone to help you and you can lean on You feel like you're completely alone. feel that you can never get away. feel, man, there's so many different feelings that you have. And as I read this and talked about it wrote this, but it's true, Scott. mean, when you are an entrepreneur and you are doing everything you can, there's times you can't release or like, you know what, I need a day off. And people sometimes And sometimes it's your own mind playing games because not everyone's saying, oh, you can't break it. Oh my god, he's losing it. Oh my god, this and that. It's times that we're always running 100 miles an hour and we just need that mental break. And I think Scott Brandt: Hmm. Big G: a lot of times people just don't understand it. And as entrepreneurs, we don't understand. We have to give each other a pat on the back, say, hey, you know what? You need a day. You need a day. It's called maintenance. And basically that time is taking time off so you can be around family, you can be around other things. And what that does to you, creates the freedom in your mind. It creates that avenues like you know I didn't think about that even though your Scott Brandt: Hmm. Big G: network your mind is free from what you've got to do and and and I wrote this down about this and I say truth saying isn't about never breaking it's about knowing when to pause to breathe to a myth that even the strongest people get tired others depend on us that we've forgotten it's okay to lean on. And I think a lot of times people don't want to lean on anybody. And what's great about Together We're Stronger as our tribe, as our team, we get to lean on each other. When I wasn't feeling good, you guys still put things together while I was healing. And even though you guys harassed me, it still allowed me to take that break to get myself back on schedule. And to rest, to ask for help. This is the number one problem. Entrepreneurs do not like asking for help. I know that's... Scott Brandt: Mm-mm. Big G: You don't like asking for help. you need help. what's wrong? So I'm going down. It's part of growing. It's part of knowledge. And at that time, even when I was younger, I wouldn't share it. I mean, I would just wouldn't tell anybody I'm taking a break, you know. I didn't have anybody to lean on. So, and you have to, excuse me, sorry about this. Because asking for help doesn't make you fragile. It shows that you're faithful, shows humility and wisdom in motion. And a lot of times people don't want to do that Scott. mean seriously, Scott Brandt: Hmm. Big G: I think they scare of, oh, I'm gonna show weakness. You know, I can't do my job. Well, what's wrong? You can't follow through. it's that, and a lot of that is in your own mind. Cause other people realize they go out fishing, they go paddle boating, they go hang out. kids they go do this but as entrepreneurs and as leaders we got to keep moving forward and sometimes I mean a lot of them any leader you talk to now will tell you they take mental breaks and then not just go sit in your room watch football they take mental breaks by hanging out in the family and doing all those things that bring why they're doing it is bring life to them. Scott Brandt: I think when you kind of Big G: you Scott Brandt: sit on that, the aspect of asking for help shows that you don't know everything. And it's interesting because I really feel that if you have trouble asking for help, are you truly going to be a student? Because honestly, if Big G: Great. Scott Brandt: you're stuck, and you don't know what to do to overcome this next step to get to that next level, but you don't ask for help and go search out mentors, go search out individuals that have done it before you, then you are highlighting that really you don't trust being a student and you want to stagnate, you want to stay where you're at because of the fear thing. And so it is a very interesting thing because when you had brought that up, that's what came to mind is if well, then again, though, you might have somebody who's like, well, I did ask for help. I was searching for it. Okay. You're still looking for help because you're only one person. You can only do so much. You're going to be limited by your thoughts, your perspectives. And so asking for help is necessary. because it unlocks and helps get to that next step. But if you are such a hard head and you're like, I don't need help. Okay, well then enjoy being stuck, enjoy being angry, enjoy being where you're at and wishing you had growth. But because you're so hard headed and you think you know everything and you're like, I do want to ask for help because then that means I don't know it. We don't, nobody knows everything. So that's where you have to understand that a lot of people specialize in a general thing and have a lot of knowledge, but you might have some specialists too. like you think, look at specialists, they are very wide, but it's not very deep with specialists because they have so much information. They haven't gotten deep enough. So you have to understand that if you think asking for help is a thing of weakness. then you're probably missing out on those opportunities to connect with somebody, to find those individuals that have done it before you to extract their knowledge, to extract what they've done to help you get to that next level. So that was something that when you highlighted, that's what came to mind. And like I said, when I hear things, see different things, my mind starts looking and saying, okay, what is that perspective that somebody hasn't considered yet? And the other thing that you had highlighted was people having trouble stepping away from the business, doing whatever. That really is a scarcity mindset because if you feel as you stepping back is not going to allow your business to continue to move forward, to continue to thrive, that's a scarcity mindset and you're going to be limited. And it's very funny because there was somebody that posted a post on their Facebook page. and was like, what is your business really truly? Well, if I'm not in my business, it's not worth anything. I'm like, my goodness. Like there, it's a, it's a very interesting thing because I've highlighted when people are like, I'm a small business owner. A lot of times they have small mindedness because of the verbiage that they're using. And when you have that small mindedness, you miss out on a bigger picture. You miss out on opportunities because small. that field of vision is small, it's not wide. And so this may hurt some people because they like to have that badge of honor of I'm a small business owner. Okay, you probably are thinking small because of I'm a small business owner. Big G: Well, mean, listen, we talked about leadership. We talked about being an entrepreneur. And the number one thing of this program is never feel alone on the island. When you do not ask for help, there's several a list that goes down. You're not allowing anybody else in your business to grow. You're not allowing anyone to take leadership. Because when you're the only one that you want to rely on, guess what? You're right here. That's it. Not being a good student, not being a good steward, right? And letting a lot of people, I'm part of this back in the day, you got to let go control. You can still have control. That's the thing. You still have control. But when you like, hey, guys, I'm going to go and play golf for today. Everything's everything's done. But how many people actually do that? A lot of people I know do that because they put people in that spot and say, listen, I'm gone. You're in control of the situation. know what we need to do. And as entrepreneurs, it's the fear, oh my God, what happens if that person doesn't make the right call or this? You've got to trust people. Gotta trust you. If you bring people in that work for you and you're grooming them, then you've gotta trust them and allow them to grow. You know what? It's okay to make a mistake because you know what? That mistake is a learning curve and it's something for that employee or employers or employee, me, to really get into it. I think a lot of times people take that all the way. them on the owner I the one who on the You know human resource person on this on that and listen you can't all was this on that hand. What's the old saying that? I rather have 10 % of thousand people working than a hundred percent of my own who was that? You remember Scott Brandt: this. Big G: is one of the kind of investors, Warren Buffett. And so, guys, you've got to let loose. You just do. And sorry for my cough. But I get so passionate about this because I know, know for myself, being a young owner, I never want to let, you know, let the control go. But as years gone on, You know, I really started giving people the control of running the store, running the upholstery shop. And it was kind of scary. But when you come in Saturday or Monday and you ask how everything is, and I was like, yeah, well, great. What the hell was I worried about? We draw so much stuff for our own minds, you know? They have it. You got the phone. You can pick up the car and say, hey, I'm off today. I'll get back to you on Monday. So really, you got to lean on other people. You do you got to lean on other people you gotta release the reins Scott Brandt: Yeah, no, it's an interesting thing. But if you're finding value in this video, hit the like button. If you're looking for these types of videos, hit the subscribe button. And I would pose this question. You gotta ask yourself, what have you done to hold yourself back? What have you done to really not ask for help or thinking you have to know it all before you can start something? And then when you look at it, what have you missed out on because of those slots and that perspective that you've held? So it's a very, it's one of those that really it's a protection mechanism that we're going back to being cavemen. And so the fact that you start having these sides of what could go wrong and this and that it's the protection mechanism. It's the, if I get kicked out of the tribe, there's something outside the cave that is going to kill me. And so it's the same thing here where you're running a business, you're leading people. And if something happens, it's not going to hurt. It may, depending on what it is. Um, so there there's a caveat there that there are times. But ultimately, we really truly psych ourselves out. And worst case scenario for the reason that it is, is for whatever reason, humans love negativity over positivity. So the issue is we try to get drawn to what's the worst case scenario, what can go wrong. And you do yourself no good. And so you actually do a disservice to yourself. and those that you're leading because you miss out on the opportunity to really build that trust with people. And it's a very interesting piece. came across a video, Brene Brown was talking about the idea of a jar with marbles. And every time you have an interaction with somebody, you drop a marble in the jar and you start building that trust. So the marble is very small. But that's the same thing is as you interact with people, those small interactions add to the trust. And so it's the same thing here is when you're working with individuals, when you are building out, have you built enough trust? Because think about it, if you don't trust somebody to have a conversation with them, there are times that it comes back to you as an individual that you don't trust yourself. And so it's a very weird thing when you think about it, when you look at that, but that is another situation that you have to do the work. You have to look at yourself and say, why is it? And it's probably because of a previous situation and it throws things out of whack, but you have to understand that every situation, every interaction with people are going to be different. People are different. We're individuals. And so. That's where you have to look, look at the lessons, look at what happened previously, but you can't let that jade you and then you miss out. And so it's very interesting thing when you really look at it, because we do so much damage to ourselves as individuals because of our thoughts or beliefs, the guardedness that we don't want to give ourselves. So a lot of the damage that we experience is from ourselves. Big G: You know, I was just while you were talking I That's crazy. I just thought of this When I married my wife 35 years ago My I went on a two-week honey 14 day Derek and I'm like Derek I mean there's nothing new when you go to Mexico the health but the place burns down well can't do anything right but he does such a great job I didn't trust him and that was and I should have But we were going, I was making things happen. I talked to him over and over and over. He knew exactly what to do. But here's the key. I just thought of this memory jogger. My brother Derek did so well. Me being gone for two weeks, jobs were on time. He also, I think he got a new job. was like $27,000. We got an upholstery shot. See. That's the key. Somehow I think we just lost Scott again. And guys, you've got to trust the people you bring in, right? It was my brother Derek, right? We had great times together, the whole works. But when he ran the business, when I was gone, I was just... I was like, wow. I mean, I was lost for words. He grew the business $27,000 more. what he did, but he got this job, plus all my clients, all of our, not mine, our clients were happy. I mean, that's what you want in your business. And that's why you've got to find those people that allows you to grow. And I wrote a lot of different things down because this is something that I had to do. and to release and allow people to be, you know, CEO of a company or that's hey Scott's back. Well, maybe he's not back. There he is. But again, you gotta allow people to because living you set boundaries as real strength. You're sending and you need to right so I told Derek I was going for two weeks. He was excited for me to go. You have to deal with his oldest brother. But what he did is he took trying what we did and he killed it. I was just so grateful of that because I was going to Mexico for two weeks. There's and it's not like it was today. There's no phone. pick up call. Thank God I would have called him every day, every hour. But I allowed him to grow. And letting go of that control was the best thing I've ever done. And I learned by letting the person you believe and trust in, and they take it by the reins. You know, you don't abuse the system, of course, but it is nice to lean on somebody and hey, I'm going to take the day off before that person comes up to you and hey, boss, why don't you take Monday off, man? You've been working it. And you have that trust, why not do it? Because don't get overwhelmed with fear, judgment, because you admit you're tired. Everyone needs that mental break. And Scott, know, I'm like... and you appear so, you know. And I'm gonna throw this in. Scott Brandt: you Big G: mean, you know, even... Even Jesus accepted someone to help. And I'm not getting, you can all kind of feel that. Jesus asked for help carrying this cross. And I bring this up to you because it's the final thing, what he went through. And in our business, it's not about the final thing, it's taking up to another one. you from experience. It's cool to be the CEO, it's cool to be the boss and all that. Take responsibility for everything. But if you trust people out there, take the bull by the horns, take over your reins and move forward. Scott Brandt: Yeah, no, I think ultimately it's a matter that like I've always shared, we're social creatures and we're meant to do life together. And so it's the same thing here that asking for help is just another way to cut down your learning curve, to get to that next level. Because if you're going off of your own perspective, your own vision and experiences, that's going to limit you. And so that's the thing is by asking for help, you might be at a point that you've never gotten to before too. And so asking for help is going to allow you to get to that next level because you need that guide. You need that mentor to help you cross the unknown, which ultimately that's what it is. So it really comes down to how you view things, how you look at things, but when it comes to asking for help, that's not a bad thing because we are individuals, we're limited by our perspectives, by our experiences, and we need to be able to bounce off of other people's perspectives and experiences. But that also comes down to trusting who you are talking to and who you're bouncing off of because if those people aren't haven't done it before, it's not going to do any good for you. And so that's part of building out your tribe and having those individuals in there that you can bounce off of and speed up the process. So that's something that if you're struggling, who do I figure out? Who do I have come around? Who do I need around me? Go check out the earlier videos where we talked about the value piece, building out your tribe. Those are the two big things, but If you call yourself a leader and you know, people are struggling with this and you know, people are like, I need to ask for help. Share this with them because the more we share with individuals, the more we can give knowledge to others to help them level off or level up. It's going to put them in a better position. It's going to help them level up. It's going to help them be able to turn around and go impact and work and serve those that they're meant to. So ultimately as a leader, passing on information, knowledge. is what's going to impact and help us to do bigger and better things as a society and as a collective group, as individuals. Big G: I I will say, I love what you said. This is faith in reflection. God never calls us to carry anything and everything alone. Community and accountability are gifts, not weaknesses. Prayers open doors, but people help open it up. And the last thing, healing begins with honesty replaces pride. And I think a lot of times as owners, have so much pride. We allow to get in our way and allows for others to. people you bring in, when that probably kicks in, it other ones to choke and they won't Scott Brandt: Hmm. Big G: perform because you're just not giving them everything you need. I just, if you're blessed to have a successful business and you're blessed to have amazing people around you, why aren't you blessed to have someone who helps you run your business while you take it right to be with your family, friends, whatever it is. Take the pride, throw the way, be upfront, make things happen, and I'm telling you, business will explode. Scott Brandt: Yep, like we've highlighted before, if you're looking for these types of videos, don't forget to hit the subscribe button. To get notified of new episodes dropping or the shorts on the YouTube platform, hit the notification bell, the bell, and that will give you heads up, hey, there's something out there. Other than that, we appreciate you coming on the journey with us, allowing us to be on the journey with you. We'll catch you on the next episode.