Latest / feel your feelings with Ethan Jewell / you deserve to heal your mental health

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you deserve to heal your mental health · feel your feelings with Ethan Jewell

• 0:00
  You don't have to be drowning to deserve a life jacket.
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  I remember when I was the most depressed I'd ever been.
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  I would spend 18 hours a day in bed, but I would get up for
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  maybe 20 or 30 minutes. And I told myself that that was
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  enough. Clearly I'm still functioning in
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  some way. I can still get up.
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  I can still do some of the work I need to from bed.
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  So I I must not be that sick. I was drowning, but I was not
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  allowing myself the grace to accept that I needed help.
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  You don't have to be drowning to deserve a life jacket.
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  You deserve help. You deserve healing even before
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  you get to absolute rock bottom. My name is Ethan Jewell and
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  welcome back to Feel Your Feelings.
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  I know that personal story sounds kind of ridiculous, but
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  if you've been deep into mental illness, you know exactly how
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  this is. Often our mental illness
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  convinces us that we have to be at the worst possible, that
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  we're never quite bad enough to get help and to receive healing.
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  According to the National Alliance of Mental Illness, the
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  average delay between the onset of mental illness symptoms and
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  treatment is 11 years. 11 years is what it takes the average
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  person to realize that they deserve treatment and they
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  deserve help. That is frankly disturbing, and
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  I personally have experienced this.
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  I personally have experienced that denial that I need help,
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  the fact that I thought I needed to have some big dramatic moment
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  in order to get help, but that's not true.
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  If you're hurting, if you're dealing with mental health
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  issues, you deserve to feel better.
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  And you don't have to be at rock bottom for that.
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  So today we're going to talk about that.
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  We're going to talk about why we feel this way.
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  We're going to talk about the dangers.
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  And then we're going to talk about the first steps we can
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  take to accept that it's OK to get help, that it's not a sign
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  of weakness, it's a sign of strength to be able to stand up
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  for yourself when you're not at your absolute lowest.
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  So why do we think that we need to get the absolute rock bottom
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  in order to get help? Why do we think that we need to
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  have a comeback story in order to heal?
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  Honestly, part of it I, I genuinely think is this is a
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  very glorified narrative. We see it in movies and TV shows
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  where somebody has to be at their absolute worst in order to
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  come back. And there's some kind of glory
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  in that, that you have to hit absolute rock bottom in order to
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  then succeed, in order to, in this case, heal.
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  But that's not the case. In fact, that is very harmful.
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  This narrative invalidates people who are struggling
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  quietly, who don't feel sick enough to ask for help.
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  It's like waiting for a house to burn down before calling the
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  fire department. Why not call them when you smell
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  smoke or when something just feels off?
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  You don't have to wait until your house is burnt to the
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  ground in order to receive help. You see, mental health struggles
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  are on a spectrum. Emotional pain.
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  It isn't binary, it isn't linear, it's not fine or broken.
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  One or the other. There's a whole range in
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  between, and anything on that range is valid.
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  For example, someone dealing with chronic stress, emotional
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  numbness, persistent low mood. They might not qualify as
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  depressed in clinical terms, but that doesn't mean that they're
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  OK. That doesn't mean that they
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  don't deserve to feel better. That doesn't mean that they
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  don't deserve healing. Your pain doesn't need to be
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  measurable or diagnosable to be valid.
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  If you're hurting, that matters. If you're hurting, if you're
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  dealing with emotional problems, if you're dealing with mental
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  illness, that matters. You deserve treatment.
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  The same way if you had a broken leg or you had a persisting pain
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  in your chest or in your abdomen, you likely wouldn't
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  wait until the point of literally like passing out to go
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  see a doctor. I would hope you know you.
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  You would you would identify the fact that something is wrong and
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  you would hopefully go and try to get help for it.
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  We should treat our mental health with the same level of
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  respect, with the same way of oh we don't need to be at our
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  absolute worst. We don't need to be completely
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  non functioning in order to get help.
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  If something is wrong, you deserve it.
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  Some of the most emotionally distressed people can look fine
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  on the outside, going to work, smiling, being productive.
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  High functioning depression or anxiety.
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  High functioning mental illness can often fly under the radar
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  and often gets ignored by others and by the person experiencing
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  it. I've dealt with high functioning
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  depression for years where I still get a lot of my work done
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  and I still do things and I get out of the house, but there's
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  just something wrong. And that caused me to ignore it
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  for years and years and years and think that this is just how
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  it is. But eventually it got to a point
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  where I, I, I convinced myself that I deserved to feel better.
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  I didn't have to just suck it up and deal with that.
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  So I started doing things and taking action.
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  Of course, it was not easy. This is all much easier said
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  than done, but it was something. It was more than what I had
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  already been doing. Just because you're carrying it
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  well doesn't mean that it's not heavy.
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  Just because you're functioning well with your depression or
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  your anxiety or your other mental illness, doesn't mean
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  that it's not ripping you apart from the inside out.
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  If this is you, if you're the person who keeps pushing through
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  telling yourself it's not bad enough, then I'm calling you out
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  right now and saying you're allowed to ask for help early
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  and often. You deserve support at the first
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  sign of emotional discomfort, not at the breaking point.
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  So here are some practical tips to start taking action.
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  First you have to admit it. You have to admit, OK, I'm not
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  doing as well as I think. OK hey, feeling this emotional
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  numbness is not normal. Feeling anxiety all the time
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  about everything is not good for me.
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  You have to 1st acknowledge the fact that these things are are
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  things that you can heal and they are feelings that you can
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  face and deal with and they shouldn't just be your status
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  quo. That's one of the first steps.
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  Then you can start taking actions for your mental health.
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  You can journal about your feelings even when they feel
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  minor. You can talk to somebody about
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  your emotions all the time, weekly, not just during
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  emergencies. You don't have to be on the edge
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  of a Cliff in order to talk about, hey, this is a really bad
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  situation I'm in. You could try therapy
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  proactively, not reactively. So instead of going to therapy
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  to react to an absolute rock bottom, you could go to therapy
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  to prepare for when you have those more difficult times.
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  Even if you're doing well right now, even if you've been
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  struggling in the past, but you're doing OK right now.
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  Now you can go to therapy or do these things proactively instead
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  of reactively. You can set up a system for
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  yourself where you become more confident in yourself, your
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  emotions, your ability to deal with those crisis moments.
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  You could set mental health check insurance for yourself,
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  almost think of it like doctor's visits, you know, maybe where
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  you sit down and journal what you're feeling.
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  You can compare those journals to previous entries.
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  There's so many different things you can do out there to check in
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  with yourself and to be proactive instead of reactive,
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  or to acknowledge that you need some help and you need some
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  healing and you need to take action against that even though
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  you're not at rock bottom. Mental health is maintenance.
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  It's an oil change, not a tow truck.
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  So let's make getting help the norm, not the exception.
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  Let's normalize the tune UPS instead of waiting for
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  breakdowns. Let's normalize being able to
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  get help and to start working for healing even if we are still
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  functioning. You don't deserve to suffer in
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  silence and your pain, your struggle, is valid no matter
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  what society says. It doesn't matter if you think
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  you need to be at absolute rock bottom in order to get help.
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  You deserve help and healing no matter what.
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  You don't need some big crisis or breakdown or diagnosis to
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  take your pain seriously. Emotional discomfort, big or
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  small, is worth exploring, and you don't have to prove how bad
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  it is to justify getting help. You're allowed to take up space.
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  You're allowed to say I'm not OK even if no one else sees it.
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  You are enough, even in your quiet struggle.
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  If you're thinking, man, maybe I do need help, then take this as
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  a sign not to wait, not to downplay, just to reach out.
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  Whether it's being there for yourself, texting a friend,
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  finally booking that therapy session.
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  Healing doesn't wait for rock bottom.
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  It starts the moment you say I deserve to feel better because
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  you do. Don't lose yourself waiting for
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  a breakdown. That's going to wrap it up for
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  today's episode. Thank you so much for being
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  here. If you need help feeling your
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  feelings, you should check out my music on all platforms under
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  the name of Ethan Jewel. I almost guarantee it might
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  bring up some of those feelings that you've been suppressing or
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  ignoring. Also, drop me a comment and let
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  me know what you thought about today's episode.
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  Let me know if you think that maybe you have been dealing with
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  some things deep down. Maybe you have been kind of
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  waiting for a crisis or breakdown, and maybe this is the
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  moment that you start taking that stuff seriously.
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  So thank you so much for being here.
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  Thank you for understanding that you don't have to wait for rock
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  bottom to deserve healing. And as always, thank you for
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  feeling your feelings. I'll see you next time.