Latest / Flail to the Face: A "Compatible with Mörk Borg" Actual Play Podcast / Season One, Episode 19: Chvrch ov the Worm Finale: Tvrdwad's Curtain Call

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Season One, Episode 19: Chvrch ov the Worm Finale: Tvrdwad's Curtain Call · Flail to the Face: A "Compatible with Mörk Borg" Actual Play Podcast

0:01
Greetings come and welcome to Flail to the Face.
0:04
My name is Cannibal Chris and I'm with BRTM as we play Merck
0:07
Borg. This is Church of the Worm and
0:08
this I believe is the 5th installment we would put that we
0:11
also got. There's spit all over your mic.
0:13
Hello. I'm Levi.
0:16
Oh yeah, I'm looking at it. Oh, dude.
0:18
God. Damn it.
0:23
That one's from. That one's from a while ago,
0:25
actually. I watched that one land.
0:27
It was solid crystallized. I'm Thomas and I'm playing wee
0:33
bit. I'm Kevin.
0:35
I'm a Libra. I like long walks on the Beach.
0:37
And my favorite song is Sandstorm.
0:40
Also, I'm playing Tommy. Wipe left.
0:44
Or is it right? I have no idea.
0:46
Which one do you ignore him? I have no idea.
0:48
Left Always. With you, Levi.
0:50
Oh, then I got the reliable. And I'm Jacob and I'm playing
0:53
turd word turd. Word.
0:56
I'm Turd Word. Turd Word.
0:58
I'm Nate. I play Screech.
1:01
I'm going to play him. OK, so we are in kind of a deep
1:32
situation here. If you guys recall the cult
1:36
leader, here's some worm dude called a giant great worm
1:40
through the wall of this church. He has mounted it.
1:43
We are fucked. Wait, is he still there?
1:45
Oh yeah, I'm a shit demigod. Fuck him.
1:48
Also that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll get to
1:51
that. Surrounding it I believe is not
1:54
surrounding it, but in that same room is screed and Sasha and.
1:58
I'm at the end of the room, Sasha, OK, I was chasing down
2:01
the worm guy. He was leaving the the room and
2:03
that's right. Like the door.
2:04
You got to him to see that. That's true.
2:06
Yep. I'm in that larger room.
2:07
Yeah, leave it. So I was trying to knock some
2:10
sense in the weem it so oh. You're over there.
2:12
That's right. Yes, I'm over there.
2:13
Then we also have Todd Word, who is now some shit cocoon.
2:20
We'll get to that. I'm not sure what exactly he is
2:23
yet, but we'll discover that as we go.
2:24
We met a cultist who is, I think, believe, worshipping this
2:27
or something. That's on we met, I guess.
2:30
Yeah, I believe I'm a holy paladin for this monstrosity.
2:34
I love it. And Pultroon is also just He's
2:38
also worshipping you, but he is the weeping kind, crying over
2:42
your corpse. Your corpse, but your your
2:45
cocoon, your form. You are not aware of what
2:49
they're doing necessarily, like physically, but you feel their
2:52
energy. I feel Paul Troon's tears on my
2:55
face. Sort of, but like, not actually.
2:58
You feel his tears on your soul. Yes, you feel this all on an
3:01
existential level. And you understand though, the
3:04
energies that they're putting out and they're pouring their
3:06
love into you, which feels like, I guess.
3:09
I I. Warm shit feels like warm Tommy.
3:12
However, though you feel him and Tommy, you're, you were fighting
3:15
off Wima, trying to stop him from what he's doing, yeah?
3:18
I was trying to knock some sense into him, but it's there.
3:20
Towards the end it it was just like kids fighting each other.
3:23
Just OK? Yeah, back and forth.
3:25
So. So then third wad Todd word you.
3:28
God damn it, you. It kills me.
3:32
I can't handle that at all. You feel Tommy's essence out
3:36
there and it feels angry. You don't like it?
3:40
OK. So First off was role initiative
3:42
because we are still in. The Am I?
3:44
What am I considered then? A good guy or a bad guy if I
3:47
don't like his. I'm going to consider you
3:49
what's. My level.
3:50
Of shit, OK, considering. My level of conscious.
3:52
I'm going to put you on the the one through three side, you know
3:54
what I mean? Only because you're technically
3:57
on this with the cult, but because Tommy is not with the
4:00
cult, right? And the Cult is the one through
4:02
three guys, the enemies. And you're now seeing Tommy as
4:05
an enemy because of this hatred or does this?
4:07
I was a cult member before I turned into the shit that is.
4:10
You were so yes, you are. That's that's all we need.
4:12
I. Don't know if my mind state
4:14
changed. Apparently I would say, I'd say
4:16
like it kind of went with it, You know what I mean?
4:18
Because you hate that in servitude, actually.
4:20
OK, so then that case, Sasha, give us the initiative.
4:23
Let's leave that, by the way. It's us.
4:27
That's you. So, yeah.
4:28
Sasha, Tommy, and and Screech. Where did this giant worm come
4:32
out of? The wall he busted through the
4:34
So you guys are in the large Chapel area with all the pews
4:37
and stuff. The pews are partially
4:39
submerged. This is the same room that those
4:42
frolicking shit eaters were frolicking in.
4:44
They're still there, but between you and them, this crashed
4:49
through the walls. OK, 'cause I was chasing the
4:51
worm priest guy down. Yes, Yep.
4:53
And what you saw when you busted through this room was that thing
4:55
crashing through the wall. Oh yeah.
4:57
In the next room, yeah. Yeah, I got you.
4:59
You're now in the breach of that room.
5:00
Yeah, in the doorway. Which was that silk cocoon
5:02
thing. So you guys were walking out of
5:04
that, remember? Yeah, you both are there.
5:07
And of course, Tommy. So I'm gonna let you guys think
5:09
for a second while we just come to Tommy.
5:10
Didn't we do touches on this guy?
5:11
I think we. Did you have?
5:12
Yep, Yep, Yep. He's actually looking at him.
5:15
He's very damaged. He looks like he's on death's
5:17
door, man. I'm going to grab Weemit by his
5:21
Bony shoulders and I'm just going to head butt him, try to
5:26
knock some fucking sense into him, OK and see how that works
5:30
out. OK, so weemit when he grabs you.
5:33
Are you resisting that? Oh yeah, yeah.
5:35
He's not a believer. OK, so I I like.
5:40
Well, we'll boil it down to 1 roll.
5:41
That's going to be D Well, OK, what's your agility?
5:45
0. Oh, so it's a 12?
5:48
OK, well I rolled the 16, so oh. That's D2 damage.
5:53
That is one point of damage. OK.
5:56
And then we met that's a presence test DR14 for you to
5:59
potentially snap out of the mind control that you're under.
6:03
Oh, and just. Roll the 19 oh.
6:06
God. The moment that your craniums
6:09
collide, you make like perfect eye contact and Tommy you see
6:13
weemits pupils just like it's just shift completely like they
6:17
went from very wide to very small.
6:19
Are you back, Skelly friend? You tell me you were I.
6:24
Let's go. These these fuckers are dead to
6:26
me. Fair enough.
6:33
Outside of this silk cocoon chamber that you guys are in,
6:35
stand Screech and and Sasha in the doorway of it.
6:40
What do you guys do? I have caught up to this dude,
6:43
yes. I feel like you would, yeah.
6:44
You're close enough to interact with him now.
6:45
At this point he is. Keep in mind, he is mounted on
6:48
this great worm he got on it. Yeah, he got, yeah, he like,
6:51
mounted it as you as you sucked. From the last episode I
6:54
remember. The very end.
6:56
We did. We did touches on him and then
6:58
the worm popped out. He climbed up on the worm.
7:00
Yeah, we. Did touches on him.
7:02
Yeah, accurate hard touches. How far away is this top of the
7:07
worm from me? How far is the top of the worm?
7:09
This thing is pretty damn big. I got a 20 foot bubble I'm
7:12
thinking about right now. 20 foot bubble you're thinking
7:14
about. What a touch.
7:16
You know what? Give me.
7:17
Just give me AD 2 On A1, it's a no on a 2 with a yes.
7:21
And he's that big enough. A1 It's a one.
7:23
He's about 30 feet tall. Shit.
7:25
This is a giant cathedral. Keep that in mind.
7:27
We'll call him 25, OK? Just to make it so that, like,
7:30
yeah, maybe not really. OK, just.
7:32
Doing fucking math now, I mean. He's, he's not his character
7:35
sheep. He's he's landing something.
7:38
Do you have any omens? No.
7:41
Oh, unfortunate. What about you, Screech?
7:42
No. No.
7:43
Is anybody? No.
7:45
It it was the IT was it was morning when we first fell
7:48
through the shit pool, yeah. That's good to know.
7:51
Whose turn is it? It is.
7:52
Screeching that turn. Yeah, right.
7:54
Just deliberating. Yeah, fuck.
7:58
We need this dude. It probably looks kind of like.
8:02
To clear your name. Like a mermaid riding Gyarados.
8:06
That's exactly where I was picturing.
8:07
Really. Yeah, sort of blue Trident and
8:10
everything. Yeah.
8:11
And nobody doesn't Trident. He has this.
8:12
Worm. It was Ash Ketchum.
8:14
Weird it was. It was aerial.
8:16
And just literal gyarados. Aerial with leprosy and mostly
8:21
worm. Yeah, damn it.
8:24
The worm's down. Oh.
8:26
This is a shitty situation, boys.
8:28
Shut up. Yeah, that's the thing.
8:30
Everything is shit smeared. Let's not forget that.
8:34
Try to forget that. What?
8:35
What are we doing here? Doing here?
8:37
Are we coming? Are we going?
8:39
We leaving? Leaving.
8:40
We stand. Stand.
8:41
You shitting or you pissing? Get off the pot.
8:44
We could get out of here. Out of here.
8:45
I I just met you guys. I don't give a fuck.
8:49
Just don't touch me. Touch me.
8:51
Oh. Shit.
8:53
Oh God. Screech is crazy, but he's not
8:55
stupid. That's a big old worm
8:57
difference. Yeah, chasing this guy down was
8:59
a little bit different before. He might be dumb, though.
9:03
I do have a bow though. Yeah, I could try and shoot this
9:06
guy in the whatever. Maybe face?
9:08
As you're looking at it too like he's big, you're making a quick
9:11
decision and it's huge, it's easy to hit.
9:15
The worm. Yep, Dr. Tend to hit him.
9:19
I was thinking, oh God, it's either him or the worm man.
9:24
Yeah, so if we hit the worm, man, the we still got the
9:26
problem with the worm. Yeah, but if we kill?
9:28
The worm man and we just like, is he gone?
9:30
Is he like head or something? Is he like a puppy where the
9:32
worm is just going to run away because his owner is gone and
9:35
dead? I don't know.
9:36
Well, if we run away from the the worm, if it's anything like
9:40
the other ones, it's not going to chase us, it's not going to
9:42
catch us. It's different than those ones.
9:44
Oh boy. Well, fuck a buddy all.
9:46
Right. No this those.
9:47
Ones we don't have time for that, Kevin.
9:49
OK. I'm sorry.
9:50
Those ones were the Those ones were the size of a person,
9:52
roughly. I think it's that's like a big
9:53
dog or something. This one is about the size of
9:55
the school bus. Oh, like a short bus or like.
9:58
That other big worm was. Big a full size like you're
10:01
getting all the. Kids like that one big worm.
10:02
We saw the. One that puked you up.
10:04
No, that one was that was the size of a person.
10:07
No, the worm in the other place. Oh, yeah, OK.
10:10
Yeah, we gave him sort of smaller than that one.
10:12
Yeah. The one that you're thinking of
10:14
from back with. The smaller one that though.
10:16
Yeah, that's it. So it's it's oh, God.
10:21
Oh my God. I'm sorry guys.
10:23
Or why? Because I don't know what to do
10:25
and I I still need. To do something, you should roll
10:27
AD two and decide on which one you're going to shoot.
10:30
Fuck this. I'm going to run up and jump on
10:33
the worm's body, no. Please no, you're.
10:35
Going to jump up and. Yeah, I'm going to try to climb
10:36
this worm. This is what I didn't want.
10:38
I'm. Going to climb the worm.
10:40
Climb the worm. Climb the worm.
10:41
OK, give me strength, Dr. 10. He looks easy.
10:44
He looks big. Big.
10:45
He's quite ribbed. He is too.
10:48
Yeah, he's ribbed. And you see, like, pretty easy.
10:50
What's your flail? Do.
10:52
I don't have a flail. That is a natural 20 Oh my God.
10:57
You you watch this little man, your little man, right?
11:00
You feel something? Yeah, yeah.
11:02
You watch this little fiery dude just go running and just leave
11:05
and he leaves to like right behind the worm dude.
11:09
Looks like a shooting star. Can I, can I go all Kyle Cannon
11:12
use my ability? Yeah, when I make it to the top.
11:14
Do it. I feel like that's what you did
11:16
when you got up there, you know what I mean?
11:17
Like that took. I've turned to do okay because
11:19
it was a rolling ball. Next time.
11:21
Oh fuck. Maybe.
11:23
Well, then again, you got on that 20, you know what I mean?
11:25
That, like went above and beyond you created.
11:27
Yeah. So yeah.
11:27
I used my movement. Go ahead.
11:29
Yep. Yep.
11:29
That's Okay. Yeah, that's technically true.
11:31
Yep. Okay so once per day my flesh
11:34
transfigures and the sun walks on the earth.
11:37
All creatures within 10 feet are scorched by Stellar Fury and
11:41
take 2D den damage it. Just happens.
11:43
It just happens. It just happens.
11:45
Mortal flesh is not meant to contain such a power, so
11:48
afterwards my armor is broken, my HP is halved.
11:52
Halved. Until dawn.
11:54
Until dawn. OK, OK.
11:55
So before we do that, what is your armor currently?
11:58
Boiled. Boiled That's D2, right?
12:01
Boiled armor that's light. Yeah, it's just.
12:02
Gonna break that. Just gone, All right?
12:04
And then what's your HP at? 4.
12:06
So is that a 2 then? It's that a two God.
12:08
I wish. I wish I had an omen for this.
12:10
Okay. And of course you're using a
12:11
power to do that. Yeah, whatever that is.
12:14
We never really rolled those. I guess to be fair, I.
12:17
Roll them. But it's for me specifically,
12:19
it's negligible. A lot of times you don't.
12:21
Need to oh, I've been rolling mine this whole time.
12:23
You should. It's presents plus 4D4D4
12:26
presents plus D4. Yeah, yeah.
12:27
I just been rolling really shitty.
12:29
Lately. Every.
12:29
Yeah, every dawn. You do that.
12:30
I call them powers per day. Yep.
12:32
Yeah. So 2D10 damage to both of these
12:34
things. 7. Seven, OK.
12:38
Damn. Nope, that's all good.
12:39
Give me AD two, get some grips again. 2.
12:43
OK, so your explosion, like, look at this previous explosion,
12:46
right? Yeah.
12:47
Explosion of fire light. It damages the worm pretty
12:52
heavily. But tell me about the What
12:53
happened to the worm dude? Oh, the cult leader.
12:57
It's kind of like when you take a magnifying glass against like
13:00
a Ant or a worm and it gets really dried up and then it just
13:04
Crump crinkles and falls and. Lottie.
13:08
Just shrivels up. Gets crispy.
13:09
Just turns to like a like a dried out worm.
13:11
Yeah. So it's very light.
13:14
Like a husk of. A OK.
13:16
No. Yeah.
13:16
I like that. Yeah just fried them Good.
13:19
And the worm itself below you is rising, as from the pain of this
13:23
you see that you didn't hurt it as much as you were holding the
13:25
worm itself. However, give me an agility test
13:28
as this thing thrashes around to not fall off of it.
13:30
We're going to call that a 14. I'm.
13:32
Going to grab it's Reigns. Actually, you know what you use,
13:35
probably holding on to something, so you probably grab
13:37
that. Like I would say.
13:38
You saying that would be enough to justify it going down to a
13:40
deer 12O. Good.
13:47
What'd you get? 1111?
13:49
Damn. So yeah, you you reach for the
13:51
reins in front of you, See where he's holding on to?
13:54
And it's not raining as much as it's just like it's like a flap
13:56
of skin, but it's like stringy. You slip because he's a little.
14:00
He's kind of slippery because he's covering Shit.
14:03
Yeah. And you, you fall.
14:06
Taking. Let's see.
14:07
Well, you're falling about 20 feet. 25 feet was what we
14:09
figured. It's a fucking D2.
14:11
Not D2. What we what we figure is D6 per
14:14
10 feet. Oh my God.
14:15
This could kill him. I'm dead.
14:16
But you're faulting it, but it's.
14:18
In but it's into shit, so. That's true.
14:20
Like take some of that off, let's call.
14:22
It it might, let's call it, yeah, I like the idea, 'cause
14:24
it's splashing into waters. Let's just call it 2D.
14:26
Two, I'll catch him. 2. You're gonna catch him two.
14:29
You haven't done anything yet. On your turn.
14:30
OK, I like that a lot. So give me an agility test.
14:33
We're gonna call that easy. Oh yeah, please catch me,
14:36
please. 'Cause you.
14:36
See it happening? Catch this boy?
14:38
Yeah, that's 22. You catch him as he.
14:40
Falls, oh, thank gosh. Printing it in the roll because
14:43
two. D2 By the way, I would be
14:45
broken. You would be, Yeah.
14:46
Broke two HB. That's true.
14:47
That's true. Yep, that's fair.
14:49
And in the water, Yeah. Now good.
14:53
I just. I I set him down off to the side
14:56
and I turn around with the fucking hammer stick.
15:00
I appreciate that. I went all fucking fucking flame
15:02
on on, you know, you know, You know, as the kids say.
15:07
This worm is now thrashing and still going.
15:09
Keep in mind. But the walls of this place.
15:13
Sasha, you killed him, right? The worm.
15:14
The worm. Cult leader?
15:15
Yep. All right.
15:17
Give me two D 60. No.
15:18
Fuck. I'm scared get magical powers.
15:21
Did I split him in half? Does he multiply?
15:23
No. Six and a four. 10, OK.
15:26
Is that good or is that bad? See.
15:28
That's good. Oh, good for you, sweet.
15:30
For you, for you. You notice too, as you guys are
15:34
kind of taking inventory of what's going on.
15:36
As you see the worm still thrashing, you know that the
15:38
guy's dead and he's just, his body is up there just kind of
15:41
floating on. It's like you just stuck to the
15:44
to the great worm. Very.
15:45
Wispy. Crispy us in a in a burn patch
15:50
up on the back of this thing. But you notice that this Chapel
15:52
around you and all of you guys in the silk cocoon there
15:57
probably don't realize this. Actually, Yeah.
15:58
They think about it because the silk cocoon thing, the Chapel
16:00
itself is just starting to like, melt, like if it was made of wax
16:05
and all of a sudden, like, it gets really hot.
16:07
Yeah, but it's made out of shit and it's just starting to like,
16:10
drip off slowly as we move on to the other side of the
16:15
initiative. So we're going to come back to
16:16
the worm scenario, we're going to go inside the silk cocoon.
16:19
And what's up with Todd Word? And so, understanding my
16:26
position, sort of, I can't move, but I can feel other people's
16:31
feelings. Do I feel this giant fucking
16:34
worm in the next room? Yes.
16:36
I'm wanting to try and reach out to this worm and make him like
16:43
when a wild dog shows that they no longer want to fight, I'm
16:47
going to try to do that on the outside, tell him to calm down
16:50
and come pick my ass up because I can't fucking move.
16:54
OK, the creature that would be able to okay What the fuck and.
17:01
You've got that read that ability to me.
17:03
Which one The one that you that Todd word is?
17:07
Known for the fucking weird hand thing that I can do the twist of
17:12
the arm. It just means like if I use a
17:14
power which I don't have for that.
17:16
You don't have power. No.
17:18
So I don't know if I can use that, but I figure if I can at
17:21
least talk to him well. In that case, because I remember
17:24
that just circumvents having to roll for it, right?
17:26
Yeah, OK, in this case and I. If it makes sense, then yeah, I
17:29
I. Would say considering.
17:30
OK, So what you're saying is is not an unreasonable thing I
17:33
suppose. So we'll start with a 12.
17:35
It's it's it's a weird barrel thing.
17:37
Go up to 14 and then who you are now reaching out to him
17:42
telepathically. Drop it quite a bit.
17:43
I would say though 10 VR-10 I would say a presence test.
17:46
I think the majority of what you're doing is presence test.
17:48
Oh my God. Presence, you say?
17:50
Yes. OK, that's an 18.
17:53
Holy shit, that's an 18. Yeah.
17:55
You feel this thing's consciousness like submit.
17:58
Like you feel it kind of flowing energy into yours and you feel
18:02
it's proximity shrinking is getting closer to you.
18:05
But you guys, you. Yeah, Sasha and Screech.
18:08
You see this worm as it's thrashing completely.
18:12
Stop and it turns towards the silk cocoon behind you guys now
18:16
and it just lunges at it. Oh no, it's it's turn now and.
18:21
Agility for who? Oh, for everybody in it?
18:25
No, we've got, we lunge is. Really over the way?
18:27
No, everyone is over, you guys. Yeah, Paul.
18:29
Troon is in there. I want Paul Troon to pull the
18:30
cocoon up and get get ready for us to enter the worm.
18:33
Weimut is in there. What did you say, four of those
18:36
guys? I want Paul Troon to like, pick
18:38
the cocoon up and get ready for us to enter the worm as it
18:41
crashes through this thing we're.
18:42
Kind of sending that command to him.
18:43
I'm going to try, OK? Like Paul Troon we're about to
18:47
be bomb brushed I guess. He is.
18:50
He's loyal as all hell to you at this point, you know.
18:53
This is so strange. I know, but so he he realizes he
18:56
is frail Figure. Yeah, I I figure him the size of
18:58
Morty for some reason. Rick and Morty.
19:00
You know, Morty, adult but little.
19:04
Like an invisible Jack underneath my.
19:06
Yeah, he's. Yeah, he's trying.
19:08
He's doing stuff like that. He's trying to like, he's like,
19:10
he's like using pulleys that aren't there, like going to lift
19:13
you. And he's just like keeps getting
19:14
it, gets frustrated, but he's doing it all very quickly
19:16
because the war is coming and instead he just holds you like
19:20
like the guy hugging the missile.
19:21
Oh my God, you're talking about Doctor Sia.
19:26
And this thing crashes through. Yeah, we must.
19:28
And Tommy both give me agility tests.
19:31
I forgot they were in there. Yeah.
19:34
I got an 11. 1414 So, Tommy, you see this thing crashing.
19:40
You see the form of it through the silk cocoon, You know what I
19:43
mean? And you're like shit.
19:44
You just kind of bolt out the door.
19:45
I got to imagine. Only place to go to get out of
19:47
the way we met. Turns around quick, like you see
19:50
why you ran and it comes crashing down.
19:55
We might take 2D6 damage. No.
19:58
Fuck it. That's not that bad, that.
20:01
Could be nothing. That's five.
20:05
OK, OK. I had the shield and my plunger,
20:11
so that would negate one, which puts me at 4:00, which puts me
20:15
at 0. Oh my.
20:17
God, you're broken. He was.
20:18
Yeah, he. Was what about?
20:20
Give me AD four. We met.
20:21
You got your anus beads. Does that is if I go negative
20:25
wait wait wait? Wait, wait.
20:29
OK, wait a minute. All right, all right, all right.
20:31
No, no. Give me AD 4.
20:35
All right. Get the good one.
20:37
Get the good one. That is a four.
20:41
He's dead. So, so this worm.
20:51
Yeah. Oh yeah, That's break.
20:58
That's break. This is basically.
21:02
So what ends up happening is, as that worm is crushing in, it's
21:06
that slow MO you see Tommy rolling out through an opening.
21:10
You see Weemit with the shield in one hand, the toilet plunger
21:14
with the nails threw it in the other, look up and just shit
21:22
love it. Oh my.
21:24
Fuck I, that was I. That was breakdown.
21:27
Oh my. God,
21:51
welcome back to Flail to the face.
21:55
So I'm dead. We was dead.
21:58
Now that's pretty much everything for that round of
22:00
initiative. Wow.
22:00
We went through an entire round of initiative in half an
22:03
episode. There's a lot going on.
22:05
Who says Merc Borg's quick? No.
22:08
OK, so Todd, word you feel this weird.
22:12
Made my name right. Turdwire.
22:15
You. See, you asked me earlier if you
22:18
feel like you're going through a transformation.
22:20
Yeah, I feel like at this point you do you feel that that the
22:24
presence? I'm a shit cocoon inside a man's
22:26
skull inside a worm now. You're a lot of things now all
22:30
at one time now you feel the essence that was Pultroon kind
22:34
of become one with yours and you feel the essence of this worm as
22:38
it like you become one with it. You feel that that's just what
22:42
you are now is all of these things now the guys inside there
22:48
and Tommy of course all all right the other three guys but
22:50
not crazy ones or dead. See this right worm rise up from
22:55
that crashing through the cocoon.
22:57
It looks like it's mouth because you see this open, you know
23:00
graduated toothy hole ma I I always try to avoid saying
23:05
toothy ma, but come on that but you see like in the throat hole
23:09
of it like something prolapsing. Oh God, why that?
23:12
Why? Stop it and it you see like it's
23:15
almost like, it's like and you see Paul Troon's face oh Oh no.
23:21
Kind of like slodged into that spot and his eyes are just gone.
23:26
Oh. My.
23:27
God and his mouth is just like, well, it doesn't even exist.
23:30
It looks like it's just kind of melted over.
23:34
It rises up and it just stares at you guys with these blank,
23:37
vacuous holds. I.
23:41
Come with me if you want to live.
23:43
And yeah, in your mind you hear Todd well what was what Todd
23:47
word but is now maybe this in your mind what is?
23:52
Happening. I don't know.
23:52
It's Todd word I've I've become. Say it right.
23:57
It's Turbwad. Look, some shit went down.
24:05
Be cool about it. Absolutely.
24:07
That's the way to be. That's so funny.
24:10
Well. I I don't think I'm, I'm going
24:14
to be sticking around much longer.
24:17
I got bigger things to do, you know, Bigger, bigger piles of
24:20
shit to crawl through. But I can at least get you guys
24:23
out here. Oh, also, we must dead and I and
24:27
I I spit. I spit out his body and shield
24:30
and plunger from like the pulsating whatever prolapsing
24:34
thing. It's head, I guess.
24:36
So it kind of just like pushes out of this like his orifice and
24:40
its forehead. Yeah, there we go.
24:41
And it just like, plops out and falls out the nails.
24:43
And I'm into the shit around you guys.
24:45
What was it? That's it.
24:46
What was it? What was that thing you spit
24:48
out? Him.
24:50
We met. We met all this shit.
24:53
Yeah, yeah. Just a bunch of random bones
24:55
just kind of popping out of this forehead orifice and paltrun's
24:58
face in the throat of this great worm.
25:01
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, sorry about that.
25:05
I thought him and Tommy over there had left.
25:08
But look, this place is melting. You got this extremely warm in
25:12
here and shit doesn't hold up well with heat.
25:16
I hate all of this already, but so if you want to, pop on in and
25:19
I'll have fucking Paltrun's little hand come out.
25:23
And like, yeah, like out of the folds and the ribs and the sides
25:26
of the worm pull through his arms, just like emerge.
25:28
Like he's Frick, he's burling them, but they're like three
25:31
times bigger than they were because this guy's very big.
25:34
And but they clearly pull through his arms because they're
25:36
very pale and tattooed as they were.
25:39
Time. Time to go.
25:39
You step in, I'll bring you to the top, get you out of here or
25:44
otherwise I'm. I'm going deeper.
25:45
This is a lot, and that's coming from me.
25:49
Yes, Dorian. But sometimes.
25:53
Sometimes you just got to go deeper in that toilet and really
25:55
figure things out. Really get to the bottom of
25:58
that. Whatever is clogged in there.
26:01
I'm over that. I know, I know.
26:03
I'm going to leave Dorian with a parting gift.
26:05
I guess a little pultrun smooch on the forehead.
26:10
It's just a shit like like lipstick.
26:13
Yeah, this whole great word Jew. Just like coming at your face
26:16
just so that I can get to you. It's so big.
26:18
It's just like kind of salivating all over you.
26:20
It's just doing it. I can't play as a God damn giant
26:23
word. I mean, I'm giving you the
26:25
opportunity to, if you want to do what you want, but as you do
26:28
that too, as you give them that kiss, like from that weird
26:30
little like disappearing orifice.
26:32
Almost like I got like a blowhole in someone's forehead,
26:35
right, that's spitting out all these things.
26:37
It spits out the anal bead just one at a time, and it just seems
26:42
like he was extremely get out of this.
26:44
Oh God. I won't be able to have your
26:47
back anymore, Dorian. So whenever you're getting the
26:50
shit kicked out of the prey on these beats.
26:55
He gives you someone else's good because that guy.
27:01
Sorry killed. To be fair, though, he's your
27:03
buddy like he was the one you came with.
27:04
Oh man. Several times.
27:11
You guys are quite friends. Different scenes, not the same
27:16
stage. OK.
27:19
Sure. Don't want details?
27:21
No further questions, your honor.
27:23
Well, I'll give these boys a fucking taxi ride out of here
27:26
and then I think Turdwad is actually going to go and do some
27:29
demigod shit. Like why would he stick around?
27:31
I If that's what you want to do, I why would I stop you?
27:35
I mean, unless you guys got something you can say to him to
27:37
make them stick around. You can tell pathically
27:39
communicate. With it's not like I can go into
27:41
fucking town or something, put a mask on, be like, Oh yeah, I'm
27:47
one of the guys. Yeah, you are a worm the size of
27:49
a Greyhound bus with a Mimes face for your throat.
27:52
OK, what if I give you like? I don't know.
27:56
Perfectly normal. I'll give you Paltrun's trachea
27:58
that's never been used before, and if you blow into it, you can
28:01
call me and I'll come fight for. You toddler next Modular.
28:06
Yeah, I honestly, I don't know what I would I I think that
28:09
Turdwaad would actually. He would feel like he's just
28:12
beyond. Things now.
28:13
This is the greatest stage of them all.
28:16
Todd would You're a God, man. Yeah, you're a God now you're a
28:19
turd. Walk.
28:21
Ether turd. Walk.
28:24
He just feels like too far. Kevin just looks shocked by
28:26
what's going on. He just looks like he's like, I
28:30
don't know how to proceed here. There's so much shit going on
28:32
right now. To be fair, I barely do either.
28:35
We're just flying by the seat of our pants.
28:36
We're flooring it. Like I said, I don't care what
28:40
they have. Tommy Tommy's just in complete
28:43
awe of what's going on right now.
28:44
He just saw his Skelly friend get crushed and or eaten and
28:49
then everything that Turdwad just did.
28:51
And while completely shocked, he's still reaching for that
28:54
shield of faith because he is still a goblin.
28:58
And he's going to grab that and he's going to look at Screech
29:01
and Sasha and be like, what do we do?
29:04
I walk over to Where's the Worm Lords body?
29:07
Just laying there all kind of just like floating in those shit
29:10
water. I walk over to it and I cut his
29:13
head off. Just crack his head off, yeah?
29:15
Oh yeah. I don't need to, Yeah.
29:17
And it's it looks it looks gross.
29:19
It barely looks like a head, but it does.
29:21
Wonderful. Anyone else really
29:23
uncomfortable? Yes.
29:24
Yes. That was weird.
29:27
You're telling me you're telling?
29:28
Me. He's like gesturing with the
29:29
hands again, still in the mind. Hands.
29:32
Yeah, because you can't hear him.
29:37
He's in your mind like he doesn't speak.
29:39
Yeah, that's true, Can. We should we take him up on his
29:43
offer and make like a baby and head out?
29:48
I'm just going to keep gesturing with my little weird paltrying
29:52
fingers. We got to get in your mouth,
29:53
that's what you're saying? I the the mall gets bigger.
29:57
I mean, you are like a bus of all things.
30:00
I feel like that's a trap. If we go in there, that's for
30:02
sure. It's the blowhole in this
30:04
forehead. It's even big enough for you
30:07
guys to perfect get into. So Screech walks into the
30:11
blowhole. Yep.
30:12
Yeah, you guys just got. Like as as calm as a
30:14
motherfucker. Could like it's like a tight fit
30:16
because it's like a you know it's it's like.
30:18
Not torch boys, yeah. Yeah, it's but you're you.
30:21
Yeah, you squeam your way into it.
30:23
Squeam I'll. I'm going to follow Screech.
30:25
I guess I will too. Do I see that dope ass sword
30:29
that that mime had? Yes, yeah, it just lodged in
30:33
into the skin of the worm. I'm I'm just going to take this.
30:37
The Paltron figure just slowly nods with its eyeless.
30:41
Oh fuck. I hate it.
30:43
As you pull that out though, to grab it it, it bleeds like
30:46
internally, like can you feel your throat kind of filling with
30:48
blood? You guys all slide down, water
30:52
slide your way down, just chilling in the stomach.
30:57
I'll fucking. Am I going to get shit out
30:58
again? I'll just take the nicest,
31:02
easiest path out of there that's not going to have any cavings
31:05
and. Straight up.
31:07
You mean pretty much. You can probably tunnel your way
31:10
up. Before we get out of here, hey
31:13
Turdwod, can we stop and get that chandelier I was eyeballing
31:16
earlier? There or not?
31:21
Was he was about to like dash off I imagine too.
31:23
And he's just like, OK, I'm just going to slumbers his way.
31:26
Yeah. Just like slithers his way over
31:28
to you see too. The dash sandalier that's there
31:30
is melting. It's not gold anymore.
31:33
It is shit. Shit.
31:35
Is it shit plated gold? Bad news brother, if you want
31:38
it. For gold plated shit?
31:40
Or is it just melting just for for the sake of melting?
31:43
It's it's melting. The whole place was fake.
31:45
It was all shit, all. Shit.
31:48
It will always be in forever. Shit.
31:50
The real shit were the friends you made along the way.
31:54
You. Fucking You're absolutely right.
31:56
Well, we exit. This sugar?
31:58
Never mind. Sorry.
31:59
You Are you going back to the same Sespit that you guys came
32:02
from? Yeah, yeah.
32:03
Oh, you. Are OK, yeah.
32:05
So you you, you find yourself knowing where you're going even
32:08
though you can't see physically. You you have like this tremor
32:11
sense in a way specific word, yeah.
32:16
And you know where you're going very efficiently followed the
32:19
tunnels with winding tunnels. Just like the lower intestines,
32:21
yeah. And you find the orifice that
32:25
you guys came from and you start up it and shoot out of the
32:29
cesspit like orca. Yeah, just in.
32:33
Like. You just see like a castle in
32:35
the background. You see the city of slice big,
32:41
Yeah, you breach out of that thing and I just imagine it's a
32:44
I. Can show.
32:45
You the world, but give me a 2D8 as you do.
32:49
A2 what? 2D8 Oh yeah, from the.
32:52
Shit. Does Jake die as this thing and
32:54
we have to cut our way out? No what?
32:56
Could I die from? This, like Gears of War. 2
33:01
fours. Two fours.
33:03
OK, you see nine guys, guards of fat moves around this thing with
33:08
torches, because it's very late. They are.
33:11
Are they in landing? Prepared.
33:13
They are not prepared. No, that is very true.
33:16
I mean, this is what they prepared for.
33:18
But no. What's that?
33:19
Are they like him? I'm going to crush them, is what
33:21
you're saying. You breach out of this thing and
33:23
you see all of them around the pool and all of them immediately
33:26
when they look up and see you, all of them draw their swords
33:29
and. Does the worm land on them?
33:31
Does the worm land on them? Are you going to land out of
33:33
this? Yeah, I'm going to steer and
33:35
land like a beach whale, yes. And like and like part of that,
33:40
because these are enemies, right?
33:42
Yeah, yeah, they're like, they're guards.
33:44
They're Fat Moo's guards. And Fat Moo had our fucking
33:47
faces on posters. OK, so they they, I'm going to
33:50
send them a signal that there's danger and to prepare to fight.
33:53
And when I land like a fucking Bradley, I'm going to lower or
33:57
I'm going to open my mouth and let out the troops.
34:00
Lower the tongue. Yeah.
34:02
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
34:03
Yeah. So I'm gonna aim for the group
34:04
of them. They're like having a campfire,
34:05
right? It's late at night now.
34:07
Though they're, I think there's like they were standing there
34:08
waiting. Oh fuck.
34:09
Perfect. Yeah, in formation, right.
34:13
They're bringing around it. I'm gonna.
34:16
Try. I'm gonna try to drift this
34:17
bitch then. OK, OK, well, OK, we'll go
34:21
agility at this point, I feel like.
34:23
What are your stats? You're a different creature now.
34:25
I know. I think you're just rolling raw
34:26
on things, OK. I mean, to be fair, you're you
34:30
do have. A Wait a minute, I have tremor
34:32
sense. Would I have felt them
34:33
beforehand? They.
34:35
Were just standing. There, I'm telepathic.
34:36
Would I have known their? Attention to your telepathic you
34:38
would have felt their. But that I'm going to fucking
34:41
right underneath them. I just want to shoot up like a
34:43
rocket and send them flying. I don't fucking care where.
34:45
OK, we're going to give me AD 4, and that's how many dudes you
34:48
hit. OK, yeah, then I'll let the boys
34:50
out. Unless you guys want to just
34:52
run. Get three guys, OK?
34:55
Your damage for the mouth is 2D6.
34:57
Oh my God. That kind of slamming damage is
34:59
1D6. I would say.
35:01
Well, you're a big old thing. You're 1D eight.
35:03
I would say God 1D8I like AD 8. Is this a total player kill here
35:07
or whatever? What do you mean TDK?
35:09
There's so many of them. No, you killed three.
35:12
I mean, you hit three. So the slam is one.
35:14
I'm calling it AD. Eight.
35:15
Yeah. You can apply that to all of
35:16
them if you like, or you can roll them individually.
35:18
It's up to you. Do I have to roll to hit?
35:20
No, OK. Wait.
35:24
Yeah, you. I just give you the four.
35:26
I just think you're breaching it.
35:27
And the fact that you knew it, you buy how much damage 8. 8.
35:31
And you're spreading it to all three.
35:32
You're gonna use it for all three.
35:33
Yeah. Okay.
35:34
I would. You.
35:35
Yeah. Yeah.
35:36
You just annihilate all three of them.
35:38
You feel their bodies crumbling under the weight of you as this
35:42
happens. You feel as you combine your
35:45
energy combines with theirs, that you're no longer a separate
35:48
entities and they like. You're like absorbing them as
35:50
you kill them. Oh my God.
35:52
And you, their arms and legs all dangle out of your I.
35:57
Love this creature. All broken.
35:59
It's so fucking Eldon Ray. He's great.
36:02
Grafton. Yeah, I guess they realize
36:03
that's what I'm doing now. I love it.
36:05
I, in my weird turdwad voice, Are you prepared to fight, or
36:09
are we going to just haul ass out of here?
36:12
Here. The Bot Moth's guards are here,
36:15
waiting for you. Todd word because of what you
36:18
just did mean Turd one. Sorry, I'm.
36:21
Going with the intentions that I don't look hostile right off the
36:24
bat. It's just a fat ass worm that
36:25
dropped in front of them, OK? Are these guys like?
36:28
That's good. That's good information.
36:29
That's all. OK, just.
36:31
Like, just drop us off. Oh.
36:33
I don't know. Just don't blow up inside of me
36:35
and I'll lower my fucking my lips.
36:39
I like to think it's like because because like pull
36:44
through his head is like feeling that whole throat.
36:47
His head pops back. Oh.
36:50
My God, you guys. Just like he.
36:53
He extrudes you guys. What do these fat mood guards
36:57
look like? Well, we're getting spit out of
36:59
here. What do you mean?
36:59
What do they look like? Like, are they?
37:01
Oh, they're armed. Yes, they're all it's a.
37:02
Reaction, yeah. So they're all taken aback.
37:05
The ones that survived by this, they're all drawing swords.
37:08
One of them, he's clearly higher ranking.
37:10
Dude was just his armor. You see these carrying his lie
37:13
handed and they're just like in shock of what's going on here.
37:15
I pull out the Axe spear Pamber thing I got.
37:18
Oh, it's a Lucerne hammer. Lucerne hammer?
37:20
Yes. And I'm like, I Crouch down.
37:23
Don't go there, girlfriend. And I pull the fucking worm head
37:27
out from behind me because it's the only thing I know that could
37:31
fucking save our asses here. The decorated guy with a sly
37:35
hander kind of rests his sword on his shoulder, walks forward.
37:39
It's not the one responsible for the shit, you know, the shit.
37:43
The shit eating. I'd assume so, yeah.
37:45
Yeah, we tracked it back to this location.
37:48
We we just found this worm. He's not part of this.
37:51
He's just, he's just dipping. That's a worm, I think.
37:57
Paul Troon's little arm sticks out and waves all crooked like.
38:00
He just gives you the the Samuel Jackson eyes.
38:03
It's like hell. Fuck.
38:07
That that's a huge bitch. Yeah, one random guard for that.
38:16
One of the other guards looks up, steps up to him in the back
38:19
and kind of says some things in his ear.
38:21
And he looks. He scans the three of you, and
38:24
he points that screech don't Three of you and the worm,
38:27
obviously. But that's a second point.
38:29
Pointed screech. You want it?
38:31
Your tenuous compulsion. I grab Todd Word's thing and I
38:36
throw it on the ground. I don't have my own.
38:41
That's true. Realistically, he doesn't know
38:43
what. He is never told.
38:44
That's true. He doesn't know it.
38:45
It's news to him. But you've accomplished this, so
38:48
it's time to see the king. I just I.
38:50
Think that's what he said? Yeah.
38:51
Yeah. Is he Is he part of your your
38:54
thing? The the worm the.
38:56
I don't know what that is. I wouldn't say anything.
39:00
This is a. Tear rolls.
39:05
I would put my hand on him quick.
39:07
Yes. And I just wipe the shit off on
39:09
my shirt that. Was all over discovered in shit.
39:12
Yeah, you're already just like. You're you're wiping it on a
39:15
dead card. Yeah, just wipe it on a dead
39:19
card. Just the pieces that are left
39:20
that are not assimilated with the.
39:22
Worm, before I do leave, I'll I'll reach out to Screech and
39:26
I'll try to connect to his actual Dorian self, if I can do
39:29
that. I feel like you're a telepathic
39:31
sense can do that. It's silent for everyone else,
39:33
but yeah. Hello old friend friend.
39:36
Oh, hello. Hello.
39:38
Hello. Looks like it's time for me to
39:40
go. What are you what are you
39:42
talking? To me, just I can feel every
39:45
every part of me slipping and every time I I kill I suck
39:49
something else up. Shit soup in here.
39:55
So this is goodbye friend, and I'm going to reach out and give
39:58
him a a mind hug. You.
40:02
Yeah. You're sending those vibes some
40:05
pro vibes. Hug vibes, sending him the gift
40:09
of, like the two bodybuilders hugging.
40:11
Oh miss you miss. You won't tell you're on your
40:14
deathbed, but I'll be back for you.
40:17
And we'll be one. It'll be strange, but you'll
40:19
enjoy it. Goodbye.
40:24
And he just slithers back into the.
40:26
I I go back into the to the earth.
40:29
I'm going to head to different like graveyards and just feast
40:32
on dead bodies and start, you know, sucking in more whatever I
40:36
was doing and we'll. Come back to that when we come
40:39
back to that. For reference, Chris's eyes were
40:45
bigger than I've ever seen them when he.
40:46
Said that, and that was usually very big.
40:49
Yeah, I'm saying. No, I think this is where Todd
40:53
actually would. I don't see him being involved
40:56
in that's very much. Yeah, just because it's it's a
40:59
fucking different thing now. It's trivial.
41:01
Now it's all the rest of it is trivial.
41:04
So the captain, All captain. Well, let's go guys.
41:11
All the retinue they leave kind of pushing you, kind of
41:14
surrounding you guys as you guys continue on to slice Dick.
41:17
You guys are doing this all willingly?
41:19
Yeah, we've been, I mean, actually for me.
41:22
At least for you at least, yeah. But that's why I'm asking,
41:24
because I want to genuinely not following this.
41:25
Then let me know. I didn't have a wanted poster as
41:28
far as I knew. I was there interrogating the
41:31
cultists on the arch rogue's behalf.
41:32
So yeah, I'm going to try to dip out and catch up with the Arch
41:36
Rogue. OK.
41:37
Actually, and then see if I can catch up with these guys after
41:40
the fact. Give me an agility test, because
41:42
you're kind of sneaking away from this scenario, right?
41:45
Yeah. OK, we also just met the guy, so
41:47
we should be easy for him. We'll.
41:48
Call it Dr. 10 because they're all very fucking shocked by this
41:51
weirdness. Sasha also doesn't have.
41:54
Wanted. Are you running off with him?
41:55
No. What do you do?
41:56
I don't know what I'm. Doing He's all beat up and
41:58
naked. I'm just hot.
42:00
I'm hot right now. I.
42:01
Mean. It could.
42:02
It could look like a reward. Yeah, I'll just tag along.
42:06
I'm. OK, Yep.
42:07
OK, you're going willingly with Screech then.
42:09
But yeah, what did you get for that agility test?
42:11
You said it was a 10. Yes, I got.
42:13
I rolled A9 on the die and I got a + 1.
42:15
So I got 10 on the nuts, apparently.
42:17
Yeah, you scoot it out, you, you sneak out kind of the way that
42:20
you guys got to this hit here and one of the guards looks at
42:23
you, makes eye contact and just kind of nods needs dip off.
42:28
Yeah, we'll come back to that actually, though.
42:30
Let's see where you go from. Yeah, that's a bad.
42:31
Yeah. So, Tommy, take the floor.
42:33
Where you going? I'm gonna cut back to the the
42:36
pickpocket and go to the backroom where the arch rogue
42:39
is. Right.
42:40
You go to the pantry, you open up a specific cabinet and not a
42:44
pantry. It is stairs going down into a a
42:46
cellar that is not the basement of this place, but another one
42:51
next door. Actually head down into the arch
42:53
rogue chamber. He's sitting on his his throne
42:55
of stolen shit, surrounded by stolen shit and a lot.
43:00
Not a lot of shit from what you've seen, no.
43:03
Compared to walk in just completely covered in shit and
43:06
kind of nod to the arch rogue. Tommy, get off my Carguzzi and
43:11
rug. Now you're getting shit out over
43:15
it. I'm.
43:16
I'm sorry. Take your shoes off.
43:18
You know what? Stripped down completely, you're
43:19
covered in it. That stripped down to the to the
43:24
to the skivvies and you know just kind of kick him off to
43:26
the. Come on, Tommy.
43:27
Touch your balls back. That's gross.
43:29
Nobody wants to see that. Yeah.
43:31
Yo, get some fresh clothes. Yo, get him some good clothes,
43:34
some good stuff. Thank you.
43:36
Thank you. I I got good news and I got some
43:42
some bad news. Let's start with the bad news.
43:44
Wait, no, no, no. The good.
43:46
You know what? Dealer's choice.
43:48
I brought you some stuff and I'm going to pull out the stained
43:51
glass key with the key inside of it.
43:53
I'm assuming this is the bad news.
43:57
And I'm going to pull out the scroll case and I'm going to
44:00
hand them to him, kind of set them in front of him while I'm
44:02
getting dressed. And whatever they they gave me,
44:05
OK. But I'm keeping the shield of
44:08
faith on my back, kind of trying to keep it under my cloak so
44:12
that he doesn't necessarily see that, because I really don't
44:14
want to give that up. You know what, Tarly?
44:15
I know you're hiding stuff. I saw you stripped down naked.
44:17
The only thing that you hide is inside your asshole prison
44:21
pocket. Prison pocket.
44:22
Yeah. Sorry.
44:22
Thank you. Yes, Master.
44:25
That's that's that's that's fair that the cult as he had me
44:30
interrogate, well he I end up meeting up with some other
44:34
people that were interrogating them as well and 1st off I can't
44:40
do that other voice so I'm just going to talk like this now.
44:43
That's fine. Yeah, No, this one's getting
44:45
hard too. Yeah, no, you you you told me to
44:47
change my voice up and I just couldn't hold it.
44:49
So I'm just going to keep this one going.
44:50
No. That's good.
44:52
I like it. Yeah, so these guys, they were
44:55
doing the same thing, interrogating.
44:57
We end up going into some shit hole, literal shit hole.
44:59
Not like the one upstairs and all sorts of fucking nuttiness
45:04
happened. And but I did find this, this
45:07
stained glass key with a key inside.
45:09
I don't know what it does. I mean.
45:11
I got this scroll key, this case here, here, this, this.
45:15
This is what I got. He hands it.
45:17
To one of the dudes standing there.
45:19
Yeah. Did did Uncle Raz ever come back
45:23
that? That bird.
45:26
Yeah, yeah, yeah. My, my bird.
45:27
Did he? Did he come back?
45:29
Yeah, I think he's around here somewhere.
45:31
He's calling for him. There's him.
45:35
Screaming in Oh no. There's my boy.
45:38
That was a hard one. That hurt doing it wrong then.
45:42
I also have the blow dart cane from.
45:45
Kiwi. Yeah, I remember.
45:46
And I'm going to kind of set that in front as well.
45:49
But you want to keep the shield, huh?
45:51
It's pretty nice. I get it.
45:52
Yeah, I'd like. I'd like to keep it if I could.
45:56
No, you're my favorite nephew, right?
45:58
As far as I knew, I was your only nephew.
46:01
Yeah, let's keep it that way. It could be my least favorite.
46:05
Of what? It's defensively the same thing.
46:07
Just keep it. OK.
46:09
Thank you. Thank you.
46:11
I got a place I need you to go. OK I.
46:13
Need you to. Bring some of your friends
46:14
there, some guys you know. OK.
46:16
The guys that I was just with or do do we got some other?
46:20
No, guys, you already know. I don't know who your other
46:22
friends are. Yeah, that's fair.
46:23
That's fair. Yeah.
46:24
You haven't met them. They're they're not.
46:26
They're weird. It's fine.
46:28
I need you to take him up north on the way to Galgan back
46:31
there's there's some some shit going on up there.
46:33
They'll they'll know what it is. It's they need us an escort
46:36
though. And if you got some other
46:38
friends, fuck, I don't care what you do with them.
46:42
The big city, huh? Galgan back.
46:44
Well, it's on the way there. You don't have to go all the way
46:46
there. Oh, OK.
46:47
You could come back when you're done.
46:48
I don't care. I mean, I do care.
46:50
You're my favorite nephew. Thanks.
46:54
Oh, OK. When, when do you need me to go?
46:57
I mean, whatever's, whatever's convenient for you, just meet up
46:59
with. Convenient for me.
47:01
When has that ever been an option?
47:02
It's usually get the get the shit.
47:03
Going on. Be facetious, yeah.
47:05
I figured as much. Just head on up to the cabin.
47:09
They're sitting at the table. You know the table.
47:12
The table. Yeah, yeah.
47:13
You know the one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
47:15
The sit. Your mother met your father.
47:16
Yeah. The only table.
47:17
Yeah. The one with the blue French
47:19
horn. Oh, the the blue French horn.
47:23
Yeah, it went over your head. Maybe.
47:24
I don't know. It wasn't very good.
47:28
OK, it Am I supposed to take something there?
47:31
Bring something back? You said escort.
47:33
What? Them and maybe Zach when they're
47:36
done doing what they got to do, yeah.
47:38
OK. They'll know more.
47:39
Maybe sounds good. OK.
47:43
Bye. Bye I'm.
47:46
Going to turn around and go back up the stairs and add up to the
47:49
the table. Yeah, you see the table in the
47:51
corner. You know the table.
47:52
Yeah, the table. You know the table.
47:53
It's that in the corner of the room.
47:55
It's the one with the the light, the lanterns, A rounded art, lit
47:59
for, you know, shady reasons, creating shade.
48:02
And you see two guys who you do know pretty well, and Thomas and
48:06
Jacob. Who are they?
48:08
Well, I don't fucking know. I don't have a guy lined up.
48:11
You don't. Put me on the spot.
48:12
I thought you did. Oh, it's me, Jimmy Dean.
48:14
What's up, Jimmy? Dean, we'll have to come back to
48:19
that. But Jimmy Dean, you got a job.
48:21
For us. Tell him you're what I've been
48:22
waiting this whole time. Yeah, sorry.
48:25
I was. I was neck deep in some shit
48:27
earlier. Sorry.
48:28
Yeah, yeah, we know. We ain't.
48:29
We ever neck deep in some shit? No, I mean, I'm talking literal
48:33
shit here. It's.
48:35
Like just more of the same. No, it's a complex back story,
48:40
but we'll get into it on the way up to fucking Galgambeck.
48:44
Oh, perfect. That's the best place to get
48:46
your salami lick. You know, just a great, just a
48:49
nice taste of the lick and all that good stuff or whatever the
48:52
kids say these days. You're you're a terrible, sick
48:56
person, Jimmy. All terrible about is your meat
48:59
it. Was lick of a teeth.
49:01
Yeah, when fucking Billy Bob sit in the back there.
49:04
Yeah, no, Billy's right. Yeah, it's get a look at that.
49:06
Can you stop breathing down my neck right now?
49:08
Hey motherfucker, this is. And the fight breaks out.
49:15
Where are they? Where are they?
49:16
Conspicuous zone. You are.
49:18
If you see this happen around you with this bar fight goes off
49:21
and and we cut, you don't even react either.
49:25
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's normal. It's pickpocket, so Screech and
49:28
Sasha are being escorted into King Fotmu's courtyard, not
49:33
necessarily in his throne room, but into the courtyard.
49:36
And it's it's late and you see on the balcony above you,
49:40
incredibly rotund man, just slovenly.
49:43
Even in fine clothes, he still looks gross as he's in, just
49:47
like the biggest nightgown you've ever seen, because the
49:50
angle that you were standing down below him and his shape and
49:54
the Sheerness of his. Sheer.
49:57
Clothing. You're seeing more than you want
49:59
to, and you're not impressed. Show, show, show.
50:06
Here's the guys, huh? Oh God.
50:08
You're the ones you finally got into that shitty here.
50:12
That shitty here, That shitty here.
50:13
Yeah, we we did it. We did it.
50:15
We did it. Whatever we were doing, we were
50:18
doing, we're. Doing other one, other one.
50:20
You talk, you talk. I throw the head on the ground.
50:26
Killings as easy as daddy. Daddy, let me fool keep doing
50:30
it. That's true.
50:31
That's true. Like these guys.
50:33
Like these guys. Gestures to the guards around
50:36
you. Well, you said.
50:37
Should we let him wherever? Should we fucking send him to
50:39
the grave? Send him to the grave.
50:40
Send him to the grave. This very.
50:42
Frail, man. Yeah, you know what?
50:47
You're the guy from the fucking water poster.
50:49
Ninja. Ninja.
50:51
Yeah, yeah. No, I remember your face.
50:53
Your doctor. Fuck.
50:53
Forget your name. Forget your name.
50:57
Doctor words. Yes, Doctor words.
50:59
That's the word. Probably.
51:00
What? It doesn't matter anyway.
51:02
You did something pretty. You got rid of some annoying
51:05
dude. They fucking steal this shit out
51:07
of my fucking toilet. Toilet.
51:09
It's mine. It's my shit.
51:11
All this shit's mine. This shit's mine.
51:13
They wanted it. The idiot of all things.
51:15
Of all things. So, so, so thank you, I guess.
51:20
But I need you to do something for me and it'll get you the
51:22
fuck out of sled. Fuck out of sled fuck out.
51:25
Need you to deliver something to Gal Gadot did yourself, Flamigo.
51:30
Sell me yard. Poisis fucking.
51:33
What did you say? Don't sell flamigo, you know.
51:36
Don't fucking art poisis. Take.
51:39
This after he says that he snaps his fingers at one of the guards
51:42
and the guard runs to this staircase in the back of the the
51:45
courtyard and you hear him like up the stairs, like quickly
51:48
running up them while. And then you see him come
51:51
hearing by him up on the balcony and he hands him this piece of
51:55
paper of some sort. He kind of pulls it out of his
51:57
fold and you see the guy run back and you hear him going down
52:02
the stairs going down the other side of stairs.
52:04
He he comes back and hands you a wax sealed envelope.
52:09
Screech. Bring back, bring back.
52:11
And don't fucking come back to my city or I'll fucking kill
52:13
you. I'll fucking kill you.
52:15
OK? OK.
52:17
I mean, gotta take a shit again in peace this time.
52:24
Peace this. Time.
52:25
It's amazing going away. Guards kind of all just gesture
52:28
to you. 2 to get the stuck out of here.
52:31
Sasha I. Screech has been confused more
52:35
today. Come on, buddy.
52:37
Let's get out of here. Let's get out of here.
52:38
Let's get out of here. Now one more thing.
52:43
Yes, it looks intact. Hey everybody.
53:33
Kevin at the end of the episode. This episode featured the
53:36
adventure Church of the Worm by JPC Perry with Levi playing
53:39
Sasha the Sun Score Zealot by Nick Turgijo, Thomas playing
53:43
Weemit the Catacomb St. by Makuti Rest in Peace Weemit,
53:47
Kevin playing Tommy the Shonky Skulker by Tommy Sundznauer,
53:51
Jake playing Turdwad the Feculent One Rest in Peace,
53:54
Toddward and Nate playing Dorian Screech John the Narcomancer by
53:58
Brain Rat. Check out all these cool things
54:00
and their respective Xalibus Mark Borg entries in the
54:03
description accompanying this episode, as well as the Flail
54:06
The Face Episode 19 Companion Turdwad, The Feculent One.
54:10
And while you're at it, check us out on our social medias, our
54:13
Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Blue Sky and Thread.
54:16
And wherever you listen to podcasts, make sure to rate,
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review and share with all of your friends so we can get out
54:23
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54:25
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54:28
World Standard. And if you like what they're
54:30
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54:32
It gives you access to their Discord, which you could talk to
54:35
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And just for $3 a month you get a Discord access.
54:39
With that, thanks for listening and we'll catch you guys next
54:41
time. So I'm just glowing hot and I
54:53
and now I can just go back to my.
54:55
You you smell like burning shit. Oh yeah.
54:59
Cool. Yeah, cool.
55:00
OK, cool. Cool.
55:03
Just another Monday. Goo goo goo goo goo goo goo.
55:09
Why do are we calling this episode Turdwad?
55:11
I hate that, Yeah. I hate it, but yeah.
55:18
Oh my God. In here like a bunch of armor
55:20
clap. Downstairs.
55:21
Kevin's going to have fun with that in there.
55:23
You can do this. Kim's going to have fun with
55:25
that and telling. All that.
55:28
What? Am I doing like you're in that?
55:33
I'm going to get in. I'm fixing my belt like.
55:37
His whole wall opened. Up.
55:38
You're like, no, no. It's like the sinus cavity.
55:41
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You just you're riding in his
55:43
sinus cavity. Go help.
55:52
I don't know where I came from with that.
55:54
No, he's staring at my gear. No, it's so.
55:56
No, I just want him to be grossly fat.
55:57
Like, how much is Kong? He's like too much for his
56:00
mouth. I guess I can.
56:01
I always get, Yeah, dental.