Latest / Spiritual Dialogues of St. Catherine of Genoa / 031 - Part 2 Chapter 10

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031 - Part 2 Chapter 10 · Spiritual Dialogues of St. Catherine of Genoa

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  Speaker 1: Part two, Chapter ten of Spiritual Dialog by Saint Catherine
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  Speaker 1: of Genoa. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain
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  Speaker 1: recording by Anne Boulat Part two, chapter ten, Soul Lord,
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  Speaker 1: I see it to be necessary that I should atone
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  Speaker 1: for my dishonest approbation of thy spiritual graces. And I
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  Speaker 1: begin to understand that as I have consented to take
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  Speaker 1: part with the Body in sin and have found pleasure
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  Speaker 1: in it, I must also consent that it shall be
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  Speaker 1: expiated by my own sufferings as well as by those
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  Speaker 1: of the Body, and that I must pay even to
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  Speaker 1: the last farthing. I see that I have secretly robbed
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  Speaker 1: THEE of what was thine, and have appropriated many satisfactions
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  Speaker 1: and delights in many spiritual graces, without referring them all
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  Speaker 1: to THEE as was my duty, namely many sweet consolations,
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  Speaker 1: in speaking, hearing, tasting, and in various other things. I
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  Speaker 1: perceive that this robbery was very serious, since nothing more
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  Speaker 1: precious could be stolen, For these are the things which
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  Speaker 1: essentially differ from all that is man's own. Nothing is
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  Speaker 1: of real value to him except that which it pleases
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  Speaker 1: THEE to give him by thy grace. Therefore, it is
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  Speaker 1: necessary for us to comprehend that every grace proceeds from THEE,
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  Speaker 1: and to THEE it must be returned if we would
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  Speaker 1: not be robbers. This robbery originated with the devil, by
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  Speaker 1: whom we are continually tempted, and by whom many are
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  Speaker 1: led astray. But how shall I satisfy myself for this
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  Speaker 1: great and subtle sin? Since I have neither strength nor feeling,
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  Speaker 1: either of soul or body. I know not whether I
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  Speaker 1: am alive or dead. It is hard to live in
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  Speaker 1: this world, and yet I must both live and suffer
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  Speaker 1: greatly in order to expiate my offenses. I seem to
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  Speaker 1: be abandoned by the divine And through the knowledge of
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  Speaker 1: that which not to others but to THEE alone, my
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  Speaker 1: God is fully known that I would always rob THEE.
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  Speaker 1: Finding myself deserted on every side, give me at least
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  Speaker 1: one who can understand and comfort me, as is done
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  Speaker 1: to the condemned, that they may not wholly despair. Then
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  Speaker 1: God comforted humanity somewhat, and afterwards exercised her in that
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  Speaker 1: with which she had before been threatened. The body, by
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  Speaker 1: degrees became infirm, being deprived of the correspondence of the spirit,
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  Speaker 1: which held the powers of the soul suspended and engaged,
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  Speaker 1: while the body remained naked, famished, wretched, and unconscious that
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  Speaker 1: this was the work of God. Hence it rapidly consumed
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  Speaker 1: away and felt every slight evil as a great calamity,
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  Speaker 1: and its infirmity increased to such a degree that if
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  Speaker 1: it kept the soul intent on some hidden operation, the
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  Speaker 1: body would not have been able to support itself Exteriorly, too,
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  Speaker 1: He gave her a director apt to her need, who
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  Speaker 1: comprehended the work of God within her. This was a
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  Speaker 1: great consolation, for her natural forces could not have sustained
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  Speaker 1: her under trials so great that they could neither be
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  Speaker 1: described by human tongue, nor if described be understood, even
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  Speaker 1: if witnessed by the bodily eye, they would be incomprehensible.
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  Speaker 1: So much greater was the interior suffering than the exterior,
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  Speaker 1: and so impossible was it for any way or kind
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  Speaker 1: of relief to be found. But God now and then
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  Speaker 1: afforded humanity a little relief, and she seemed restored, although
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  Speaker 1: the interior oppression was constantly increasing. So she wandered about
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  Speaker 1: the house, wasting away and ignorant of the nature of
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  Speaker 1: her malady, so subtle, hidden and penetrating was that divine work.
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  Speaker 1: Then she was assailed in a different manner and with
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  Speaker 1: strange new afflictions, against which she struggled with all her powers.
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  Speaker 1: When God afflicted the body, he fortified the mind, and
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  Speaker 1: when the mind was suffering, he consoled the body, and
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  Speaker 1: thus supported each in turn. She continued in this state
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  Speaker 1: for about ten years, Humanity being always more and more
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  Speaker 1: unconscious of those hidden operations by which God held her
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  Speaker 1: as it were bound. Afterwards, he took from her her
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  Speaker 1: confessor and everything else towards which she looked for help.
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  Speaker 1: Then the spirit drew her forcibly to himself, because he,
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  Speaker 1: in turn was drawn by God with a hidden love
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  Speaker 1: so penetrating and powerful, though without delight, that it melted
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  Speaker 1: into itself, both soul and spirit, while the bodily senses,
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  Speaker 1: with everything else, were absorbed in God. This hidden love checked, purged,
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  Speaker 1: and exterminated all those sins of robbery which had been
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  Speaker 1: so secretly and cunningly committed, And thus in secret the
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  Speaker 1: penance was performed, while the cause remained concealed. Humanity was
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  Speaker 1: so oppressed and crushed that she was constrained to cry
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  Speaker 1: to our Lord in piteous accents. Oh my God, how
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  Speaker 1: hast thou abandoned me to such cruel sufferings, both interior
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  Speaker 1: and exterior. Yet while I suffer, I am still unable
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  Speaker 1: to complain, For even when I am most grievously afflicted,
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  Speaker 1: I am in secret satisfied by a sharp and searching
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  Speaker 1: flame of love, which is gradually consuming all my natural
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  Speaker 1: and spiritual strength, so that it is most strange to
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  Speaker 1: see a creature living thus deprived of vital force. My
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  Speaker 1: confessor too is taken from me, so that I can
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  Speaker 1: no longer take counsel of him. And so weak have
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  Speaker 1: I become that I can turn to nothing with any spirit.
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  Speaker 1: Interiorly I find the secret strength which was given me decaying.
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  Speaker 1: Nor am I in a condition to receive anything from
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  Speaker 1: Heaven or Earth, but am left like one dead. Yet
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  Speaker 1: I must live so long as it pleases God, though
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  Speaker 1: I know not how I can live without the help,
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  Speaker 1: which I am not even able to receive when it
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  Speaker 1: is offered me. End of Part two, Chapter ten