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Episode 6: Managing Mealtime Behaviors · Talking FACS

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  Music
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  Big Blue Book Club presents SNACK Club with Courtney Luecking and Anna Cason, featuring
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  Raising a Happy, Healthy Eater and How to Raise a Mindful Eater. Now, here are our hosts.
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  Feeding children is an adventure, and at some point or another,
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  you might have had questions like, am I doing this right? Or is this normal?
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  Headlines, things we see online, things we hear from family and friends,
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  and even unpacking what we see in the store can have us questioning what to feed our children.
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  We want children to have what they need to lead happy, healthy lives.
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  And it seems like as soon as we figure something out, it changes.
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  That's where we come in. My name is Dr. Courtney Luecking. I'm a registered dietitian
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  and extension specialist for family and child nutrition.
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  This means I have lots of training and expertise about child nutrition.
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  I also have two littles of my own. This combination allows me to talk through
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  practical, science-based strategies for creating a nourishing feeding environment for your family.
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  And my name is Anna Cason. I'm a registered dietitian and extension associate in food and nutrition.
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  I don't have kids of my own, but my interests and passion lie in supporting
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  healthy food-related behaviors which begin in childhood.
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  In partnership with the University of Kentucky Cooperative Extension Services,
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  we present Snack Club, where we share bite-sized bits of information for supporting
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  nourished, active children in Kentucky.
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  So come for the snacks and stay for the support.
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  For the snacks and stay for the support. Hi, Anna. Hello, Courtney.
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  How are you? I'm good. How are you?
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  It's been a while since we've chatted. They don't know that, but we do. We do. Yeah.
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  We're excited to be back. Yes. I think we felt like this, oh gosh,
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  this is such a relevant topic.
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  Managing mealtime behavior. Yes. Yeah. So we kind of talked about setting up
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  meal time, but this is like the, how to answer to these situations that may come up.
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  Yeah. And you're around the table or it's like the rubber meets the road. Right.
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  And I think you and I like to use the terminology of the Instagram versus the reality.
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  Yes. So when prepping for this episode, I actually called my mom because I was
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  like, what were family meals like when we were younger? I don't remember.
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  I don't know if you've asked your mom or dad what happened. But
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  I should, I would be interested, okay I want to hear! It was
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  funny she she literally said well I think there's less stepping
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  and we had less stepping and fetching than is happening today
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  that you know it's like okay that alludes to the fact that like families feel
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  like they have to prepare different meals or like kids are refusing to eat don't
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  want to eat so these less than desirable mealtimes but she literally said, "
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  It was easy and drama free." Wow! that's the instagram for all of us.
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  Maybe that's why when I'm at mealtime with my littles that I'm like,
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  wow, we have one running around the table.
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  One's like dumping her water out and splashing and it's flying.
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  And we just sit there and smile through it all.
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  Yeah. What else do you do? Again, the dumpster fire in the background and you're
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  just like, everything's okay. Everything's fine. Yeah.
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  So let's talk about then what we can do because there are going to be challenging mealtime behaviors.
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  Some might go better than others. It may be depending on the ages of children
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  in the family or what the family's routine is like or just developmentally or
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  what's going on, their stress or tiredness or things of that behavior.
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  And kind of going along with that, there may be underlying reason for some of these behaviors.
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  We'll kind of touch on some of those too. Yes. Yes. And so anyone who's listening,
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  we would love to hear in the comments like your standout mealtimes,
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  for better or worse, some of the most challenging behaviors.
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  But I felt when reading this book, The Raising a Healthy, Happy Eater,
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  on page 147 to 148, the kids screaming at the grocery store really struck me. And I've been there.
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  And I think it was like a time change weekend, which is just not, I can't remember.
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  It was probably like fall back. So we had a whole extra hour to deal with.
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  And hunger had struck while we were at the store.
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  And and the screaming and refusing, so like having to get the kid up and put
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  her in the cart. And she ate like a whole container of strawberries.
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  While we were going around the store, but the woman came up to me and she's
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  like, we've all been there, honey.
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  And I just like started crying because I was stressed and worried about what
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  people were thinking about me, you know, and it was just so comforting to have
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  someone say, we've all been there and understanding going to be okay. Yeah.
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  So that's what we're here to talk about today. Yes. We've been there.
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  We might go there soon. Yes.
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  And it's going to be okay. Yes. All right. So let's talk about,
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  we, I think like to create little acronyms.
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  So this one for how do we manage a kid does something we don't like. They spit out food.
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  They refuse to eat. They get up and wander away from the table.
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  They're a slow eater. What other things can you think of? Just throwing stuff
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  on the ground, maybe playing with it.
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  Yes. Things that we might not want to deal with in that moment.
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  And we want to just, we just want you to remember A, B, C, D.
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  All right. So Anna, what's our A?
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  Assess the situation. Tell us about that. You talked about this earlier.
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  Yeah. So it's kind of taking a step back before you react or anything and realizing
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  or assessing what is actually going on.
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  So again, there may be an underlying reason for the behavior.
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  Like if they're spitting out the food, maybe it's because they don't actually
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  enjoy the food or maybe they took too big of a bite.
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  So it's their innate reaction to get it out of their mouth.
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  So before reacting, taking a step back and assessing, like kind of checking
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  out what what's going on in the moment.
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  Yes. And as we're talking through this, we're going to do it in slow-mo.
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  And you might feel the pressure to do this a lot faster in real life,
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  and that's okay through practice.
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  But so like you're saying, ask questions. So thinking about how old is my child?
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  Do they have any health or developmental conditions or concerns that could be
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  linked to this less than desirable behavior?
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  So kind of that level setting, I know we like to use that term,
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  but like what's happening?
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  Or like we had, I'm just thinking of like, I had a lot of assessment.
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  We were traveling last week. So we were out of our element. Our sleep was off
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  the types of foods that were off the times that we were in different time zone,
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  the times of day we were eating off.
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  So it was like a constant assessment of like, what is going on?
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  When was the last time you ate? What could be affecting this?
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  Yeah. So I love that advice to like.
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  Take a moment to pause and assess what is going on and realize that maybe your
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  toddler or child isn't able to express what they're feeling or why they're feeling it.
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  So these behaviors may be like a physical action of being upset over something
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  not even related to mealtime, but that's just where it is coming out.
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  That's a really good point.
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  So what's the B? What should we do next? Breathe. Just take a minute.
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  Assess. And then you yourself take a deep breath.
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  And sometimes I like to say smile. We had this little book when our oldest was
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  growing up, but it was called Star Breathing. So you smile, you take a breath,
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  and you relax. I love that.
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  And then your kid can see you physically kind of like relaxed. Yeah.
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  It also gives you another moment to decide when you're going to react.
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  Yeah. Okay. So assess the situation, breathe, and then our C is calculate your response.
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  Yes. What does that mean? So this kind of culminates all the stuff leading up to it.
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  And again, thinking about maybe the reason for it and then calculating how you're going to respond.
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  So there are some different ways to respond to different behaviors.
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  And so kind of taking the time to choose which one best fits the situation and then implementing it.
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  Okay. And so I think one important point to consider here is that what we do
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  or do not do is essentially responding. Yeah.
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  So sometimes, what do they call it, strategic ignoring is totally appropriate.
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  So, for example, if a kid might be like spitting some food out,
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  we might go, no, don't do that.
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  But if we assess the situation and they're not choking and it just seems to
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  be something else, then we could strategically ignore other rather than maybe
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  my oldest just laughing and then behaviors repeated because we got a rise out of our audience.
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  I love in them raising a whole happy eater. They kind of.
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  Relate it to if your toddler has a temper tantrum when you're putting them in
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  the car seat like there is no if you have to go somewhere there is no other
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  option aside from riding in the car seat to get from one place to the other
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  so there's really no way to react to that other than just,
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  letting the situation happen you buckle them in you get in the car and drive
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  because that's the only only option so kind of thinking about that with mealtime
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  again we have this structure set And these boundaries set up.
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  So this is the option in this moment. This is what we are doing here.
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  So again, assessing and breathing and then realizing, maybe I don't need to react or respond.
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  Just let it happen and not ignore it, but don't give them that feedback.
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  Feedback, that attention, that response they're looking for.
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  And then thinking about when we do something in response, that it could be a
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  way to inform or educate if there are other ways that we want them.
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  So for example, if we really don't like something, just teaching table manners
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  of like, okay, if it really needs to come out of your mouth,
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  like using a napkin and just quietly putting it to the side.
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  Or if kids are like getting up and running around and just a gentle reminder
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  that like, if this is lunch, you know, so, okay.
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  Question, are you finished eating? Is your belly want more? Is it had enough?
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  And just our gentle reminder that, okay, well, snack time isn't till two.
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  And so again, that's just kind of like putting it out there,
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  non really reactionary other than just saying it's your choice.
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  And then this is what we're doing right now. So yeah.
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  Okay. So we've calculated our response and then what is the D?
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  Doing it consistently that's where
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  it gets challenging like the the seat belt
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  car speed i thought was also a great
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  example and that there are limited options for
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  that and so when it comes to mealtime it could be any different issue and so
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  being consistent can be the hard part but unless we're consistent our children
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  won't really learn that those boundaries are respecting those boundaries or
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  know what to expect from us then yeah it kind of consistent goes along with
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  what we talked about before,
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  like if you're in the grocery store and your child is asking for something and
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  something in the checkout line, like a candy bar or something,
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  responding consistently the same way, regardless of what they're asking for
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  and when, but just saying.
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  We're not going to eat that right now, or that's not in our cart. We're not buying that.
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  Again, keeping it consistent and keeping it simple and just kind of to the point.
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  And we should say consistent and then maybe casual or calm, whatever might fit you best in that moment.
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  Like, again, it's something and you're just, if we are reactionary.
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  So I guess what we're trying to do is kind of pause that. Yeah.
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  And then be strategic about how we're responding. But trying to keep it calm
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  and casual, even as they're escalating and rising.
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  And I'm just thinking, I always say that at this door.
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  Now my oldest is like, not today, not right now. Because apparently that's, you always say that.
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  Hey, I never can't exist. It's a system that is key, right? You knew that what
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  my answer would be before you even asked. So there we go.
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  Okay. So with some of these undesirable behaviors of like getting up and running around and.
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  Maybe refusing like what we call food jags, when we have another episode that
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  will be linked, if anyone wants to listen more when children are eating a smaller
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  selection of foods, there might be a lot left on the plate.
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  And so you and I were like, we want to make sure we talk about this issue of food waste.
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  So maybe let's talk about some strategies or how to think about food that is
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  left on the plate as we are oftentimes navigating these challenging behaviors. Yeah.
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  So I love in the book, they say that even though it seems like food waste,
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  food that's left over on the plate, it's not actually wasted because it has
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  been an opportunity to see new foods,
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  maybe smell new foods, just that exposure.
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  And then maybe it's not time to eat them yet, but still the exposure leads to
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  potentially trying it or just having that experience with the food.
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  So it's not waste, even though it is left on the plate.
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  There are some other options that you could do with it, but try to just reframe
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  it and not think about it as waste.
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  And starting small with smaller portions of whatever these foods are,
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  whether they're familiar foods or new foods, starting small,
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  you can always get more on the plate.
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  But if it's smaller to begin with, it's less likely to be left there.
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  I think that's really helpful.
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  And then just thinking about to what degree then did they interact?
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  Was it truly just on their plate and they didn't touch it?
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  You could put it in the fridge for later, whether reheat or just serve as is
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  or repurpose. I know we like to talk about.
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  Using leftovers, taking it for a variety of reasons for speed and ease of pulling a meal together.
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  But it's also a way to make sure that things are just thrown out.
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  And I thought there were some really great tips in the book also about being
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  strategic when you plan.
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  So kids need to be introduced to foods a lot of times typically before they
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  might entertain the idea of liking it.
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  And so offering the same food several times over a week and maybe trying it
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  prepared in slightly different ways are offered with different pairings to see
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  if that kind of sparks something.
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  Yeah. What are some other ways we might need to think about food waste?
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  Frozen foods are great. Like I know with fresh foods, those can go bad even
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  before we even prepare them.
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  So frozen or canned, just remembering that those are options for creating our meals.
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  Yeah. And then kind of along the same lines,
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  there are other options to use the food that may have
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  been left over on the the plate if it has been touched or played
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  with or something and so it's not to be eaten at a
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  later time but you could compost it checking in
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  with your local extension office if you're interested in learning more about
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  starting a compost or how to repurpose these foods for a totally different reason
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  that's a great idea and i think that just kind of brings it full circle because
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  we cost of foods and so there are real true concerns about that and so it's kind of this,
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  Hetch 22 are like this cycle, we worry about waste, so we limit what we offer,
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  that we know things they like, and then that kind of defeats the purpose of
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  trying to introduce those new foods.
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  So small baby steps, offering new foods, and being strategic about how much
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  is prepared or served at any given time.
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  I think those are all really great tips. Yeah, absolutely.
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  Okay. So whether your kids are up and running and we want to hear what your
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  mealtimes are like, maybe you find it entertaining, maybe you find it annoying,
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  or maybe it just depends on how your day went as the adult, trying to get through it.
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  But maybe we can all like apply this A, B, C, D.
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  So assess the situation, breathe,
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  calculate your response, and then do it consistently and casually.
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  And that can help us successfully navigate some of those more challenging things.
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  And I guess we should say though, sometimes we need more help. Yes.
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  So next time we're going to be talking, we got some special guests about when
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  to reach out, out some signs that may signal it is time to reach out for some
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  outside help more than you can handle.
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  Yeah. Cause we don't want anyone, you know, stress is a part of our everyday
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  life, but there's no need for mealtime to be any more stressful.
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  Yeah. And so we'll find out when, when that time is to reach out for more help.
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  Can't wait. All right. So if people want more information, they can find us
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  in our show notes. On the show notes. Yes.
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  Okay. Link to resources. And then if you have any questions or want to reach
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  out with anything, you can find us at our email, snackclub, S-N-A-C-K-C-L-U-B at uky.edu.
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  And then always, we just can't say this enough, but reach out to your local extension office.
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  They are a wealth of resources, of information, community connections,
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  and anything else. Across so many domains.
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  Yeah. Well, thanks for joining us. Yeah. And we'll hope to see you soon.
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  Thanks for joining us for another episode of SNACK Club.
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  Resources related to the topics discussed in this episode can be found on our
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  website linked in the show notes.
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  Your local Cooperative Extension office is also a wealth of information and
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  can and provide links to local resources.
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  If you have other topics you would like to hear about, send us a note at snackclub at uky.edu.
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  That's S-N-A-C-K-C-L-U-B@uky.edu.
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  And as a reminder, the digestible bits of information we share are like navigation
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  signs for your feeding journey, but you may need to contact a healthcare provider
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  for more personal advice.
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  And last but not least, special thanks to our team behind the scenes,
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  Mindy McCulley for bringing this audio and video file to life with her technology
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  skills and to the people through her marketing magic.
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  And to Kelli Thompson for her creative ability to turn one conversation into
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  our snack club symbol. We hope to see you again soon.