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Helping Kids Navigate a Digital World- Part 2 "Entertainment and Social Media" · Equipped for Impact

• 0:07
  Nate: Welcome to Equipped for Impact, the podcast designed to assist Christian parents, leaders and educators to raise up the next generation to stand firm in their faith and influence their world.
• 0:19
  Nate: For Christ, we're your hosts.
• 0:21
  Nate: I'm Nate and I'm Lewis, so let's get started with part two of our series on helping kids navigate a digital world.
• 0:30
  Nate: So last week we went through a lot of different topics all around the idea of screens and just the digital tools in our lives cited some scary research right, about 59% of teenagers responded saying that they feel addicted to their phones.
• 0:50
  Nate: And just the increase in depression and suicide rates and just the struggles that come along with being immersed in a digital environment.
• 0:58
  Nate: And so we talked about, you know, the screens in our lives and how we can put some practical steps in place to protect our children and lead the way in our own lives.
• 1:11
  Nate: So, lewis, today we're moving from just screens in general to talking about what the content that we actually see on those screens.
• 1:21
  Nate: So how have you guys thought through this as a family?
• 1:25
  Luis: Well, we mentioned it last time, 80% of Christian teens say that their worldview is shaped more by media than by scripture, and sometimes it isn't just the overt things in media, right Like, as parents, we try to shield them from that.
• 1:38
  Luis: A lot of times it's all of those underlying philosophies and attitudes that are going to shape our kids more than others.
• 1:45
  Luis: Like I remember when my girls were younger and they were hooked to YouTube and parents some of you can relate to this they watch a lot of YouTube videos and we did what a lot of parents do.
• 1:57
  Luis: We were young parents and we just handed them a tablet so they could keep themselves entertained and I thought we were doing a good job.
• 2:08
  Nate: Like I thought we had filtered things out and we were even doing like the YouTube kids app and so it's safer it is yeah, it's it's, it's, it's supposed to be right.
• 2:14
  Luis: But thankfully my wife realized early on that this wasn't a great thing, and I remember one day coming home and she said to me she said, louis, I think we shouldn't let our girls watch YouTube kids anymore.
• 2:25
  Luis: And I was like, why, like, did they see something?
• 2:27
  Luis: Like I was worried that they had seen something that was like inappropriate or derogatory and I was like, oh man, like that was terrible.
• 2:34
  Luis: But she just said to me.
• 2:35
  Luis: She said I've noticed that their attitudes change and I don't like what they're becoming when they watch these videos on YouTube, like they're becoming sassy.
• 2:46
  Luis: They were becoming pessimistic and it was just little subtle things that she had noticed and she was a stay-at-home mom, so she was with them more often, and so we had a conversation with our girls and we explained this to them and they weren't happy.
• 3:01
  Luis: Like I mean, it was a big argument with our girls.
• 3:04
  Luis: I mean they're five, six years old and we're telling happy Like I mean it was, it was, it was a big argument with our girls.
• 3:05
  Luis: I mean they're five, six years old and we're telling them, hey, no more YouTube kids.
• 3:09
  Luis: And so we became a home where our girls no longer watch YouTube.
• 3:14
  Luis: Kids and we haven't gone back and to this day they don't.
• 3:18
  Luis: They don't watch YouTube videos on any device and and the day will come when they're able to make that decision for themselves, as they're older and we might reintroduce it at a later stage, but we made that decision and that's why we need, as parents, to consider Philippians 4, 8 as our guide.
• 3:36
  Nate: Right yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever's true, noble, right, pure.
• 3:40
  Luis: You know, think on these things Absolutely yeah, and we weren't doing that as parents, and so we made that decision early on.
• 3:46
  Luis: And and look, I'm not judging you If your kids are watching YouTube, I just want you to to notice the impact that it's having on them.
• 3:54
  Nate: Yeah, that's a.
• 3:55
  Nate: It's a good point, right?
• 3:56
  Nate: We said at the end of the last episode you know, just because you've you've gone one direction, you know, maybe you've given your, your kids, a device or you've gone one direction, you know, maybe you've given your kids a device or you've done the YouTube like you talked about, that doesn't mean you can't undo that decision, right?
• 4:09
  Nate: You're the parent, you can make that choice, and so sometimes that just is like hey, I was wrong.
• 4:14
  Nate: You know, talk to your child, say I was wrong.
• 4:18
  Nate: I realized this was not a good choice, so we're going to reverse that choice.
• 4:22
  Nate: I think that it goes back to I think it was episode four when we talked about what is a biblical worldview and we talked about it's not just what you believe about the world, creation versus evolution.
• 4:35
  Nate: It starts with those values.
• 4:37
  Nate: It's what's in the heart media, the, the, the entertainment choices that you allow into your child's life.
• 4:45
  Nate: They're actually going to shape your kids' lives and their worldview more than some of those overt things.
• 4:51
  Nate: Like you can be having them in a great church, um, and in a great Christian school where they're hearing these things but then they're receiving kind of, uh, subvertly, um, the, the negative influences like you brought up.
• 5:05
  Nate: Right that, the, that, the sassiness on a YouTube.
• 5:07
  Nate: You know some kid who's a famous YouTuber, who's sassy to their parents and then these, our kids, pick that up.
• 5:13
  Nate: I was just thinking about our family.
• 5:14
  Nate: This is not digital.
• 5:15
  Nate: But Junie B Jones I don't know if you're familiar with those books.
• 5:18
  Luis: Yeah, my girls have read those books, so Junie B Jones.
• 5:20
  Nate: My girls did too.
• 5:21
  Nate: We read them to our girls and then we realized she's you know, we'll get past the whole bad grammar side of things Like kids use bad grammar but the negative influence of her attitudes and actions where she thought she was the queen of the world, right, and so that was another thing where, you know, we're just like, eh, you know, we're not going to read these books anymore because I see the worldview that's kind of embedded in those books.
• 5:43
  Luis: And so if you're wondering what do I do, maybe I'm a new parent and my kid's not there yet.
• 5:49
  Luis: Or maybe you're wondering hey, I've already, like I'm past that, what do I do?
• 5:54
  Luis: So it starts very simple Set family media guidelines, parents.
• 5:59
  Luis: You are the parent, so decide what's off limits, what.
• 6:06
  Luis: What are they allowed to watch?
• 6:07
  Luis: When are they allowed to watch it?
• 6:09
  Luis: Where are they allowed to watch it?
• 6:12
  Nate: there are, there are we already said no screens in bedrooms, right?
• 6:16
  Luis: no, no screens.
• 6:16
  Luis: So so if your kids are watching tv in their bedroom, like our girls don't have tvs their bedroom.
• 6:23
  Luis: We have a TV in the living room, we have a TV in the loft and they can watch TV there anytime they want to, because it allows us, as parents, to be able to monitor what they're watching.
• 6:34
  Luis: And so make a determination what ratings can they watch?
• 6:38
  Luis: Like if you just give your kid unlimited access to Netflix and they have access to the full library, like there's some things on there you don't want them watching.
• 6:45
  Luis: Make a determination at what point can they watch certain movies, at what point can they watch certain TV shows and set those family media guidelines?
• 6:56
  Luis: Nate, a tool that we use and I don't know if you're using your family is PluggedIncom.
• 7:00
  Nate: Oh yeah, we've actually used that.
• 7:02
  Nate: So our girls will watch, you know, while we're cooking dinner that's when they're they get.
• 7:10
  Nate: They get some screen time.
• 7:10
  Nate: So we've got very strict, uh, you know boundaries and that was something that I'm I'm thankful we put in early on.
• 7:13
  Nate: But we've actually done that where, like, it's kind of a, you know those meals where it's definitely a two person job, it's not a one person job.
• 7:20
  Nate: So my wife and I are trying to get a two-person meal ready.
• 7:23
  Nate: We need both of us and the girls were trying to find something to watch and they were asking about a certain show and we're like I kind of remember, I'm not sure, yeah, just go ahead.
• 7:32
  Nate: And then at one point thankfully my wife is definitely the more wise one of the two of us and so she was like no, no, hold on.
• 7:38
  Nate: And she pulls out her phone, goes to PluggedIncom and actually I think she used Common Sense Media.
• 7:48
  Nate: She went on Common Sense to look at the ratings for that real quick before we gave the okay, we were tempted, we almost just said yes, and thankfully we caught something that they probably should not have watched, and it's because we checked.
• 7:57
  Nate: We checked the reviews there.
• 7:59
  Luis: So if you're not familiar with PluggedIncom, it's a ministry of focus on the family, where they review books, they review movies, they review TV shows, they review video games.
• 8:07
  Luis: They even review YouTube channels.
• 8:09
  Nate: Oh, wow, I didn't know that.
• 8:11
  Luis: Yeah, yeah.
• 8:11
  Luis: And so if there's a new movie that comes out and your teenager's like, hey, I want to go watch this movie, go on YouTube, I'm sorry, go on PluggedIn and read about it and get a biblical perspective.
• 8:26
  Luis: Common Sense Media is another good one.
• 8:28
  Luis: Now, common Sense Media is not a Christian company.
• 8:31
  Luis: No, they're not, and there are some issues that they take on that are probably at an opposition from a biblical worldview.
• 8:37
  Luis: But it is a good resource because you're able to see what other parents say.
• 8:40
  Luis: You're even able to see what other kids say, and those are good resources, which sometimes that's even more telling.
• 8:45
  Luis: Yes, what other parents say, you're even able to see what other kids say, and those are good resources.
• 8:46
  Nate: And another thing which sometimes that's even more telling yes, like there's a kid you know it might be a review from a kid that's saying this was awesome because you know XYZ and you as a parent, hopefully with a biblical worldview can look at that and be like, oh, if a kid is saying this, well then I know, I definitely don't want to let my kid watch that.
• 9:02
  Luis: And something new that PluggedIn has just released that's actually really cool is they have links to these YouTube videos that they've created where you can set parental controls on Hulu, amazon Prime Video, disney+, netflix, apple TV, peacock, and so they've created these videos that walk you through how to set up parental controls on those platforms if you're using them.
• 9:26
  Luis: One platform that we've used as a family is called VidAngel.
• 9:29
  Luis: It's a streaming service, and so I would encourage you to check that out.
• 9:33
  Luis: But let's say you want to watch a movie with your kid that you really like, that you're like, hey, let's go watch the original Jurassic Park.
• 9:40
  Luis: Well, what VidAngel does is it plugs into your existing subscriptions already and it lets you edit out movies and TV shows based on videos settings that you control.
• 9:52
  Luis: So, like, if you think your kid is is old enough to be able to handle a not so great word, but you don't want them to see nudity, you can take out the nudity, but you can leave in that inappropriate language, and so it gives you control over what's happening.
• 10:08
  Luis: Yeah, and that's, and that's vid angel and it's.
• 10:10
  Luis: It's a subscription, I think it's like 999 a month, and and we've done that with our girls before with some shows that they might want to watch that.
• 10:16
  Luis: I'm like you know what?
• 10:17
  Luis: I don't want you to watch the unedited Netflix one, but it's a good show and it's popular, so I'll let you watch it and we're going to edit out some of these things, yeah.
• 10:27
  Nate: I had a friend who he used that all the time.
• 10:29
  Nate: You know who this is, Lewis, but he would let his kids watch certain shows because he had some pretty thick filters on, and that was one of those where I had to be like you let your kid watch what show?
• 10:41
  Nate: And he was like on VidAngel it was filtered, All the bad stuff was out.
• 10:45
  Nate: So anyway, I've heard that that's a really good thing.
• 10:48
  Nate: You know we don't have sponsors for this.
• 10:50
  Nate: This is presented by our school, it is.
• 10:52
  Nate: But I mean, maybe Plugged In should sponsor this podcast.
• 10:56
  Nate: They should.
• 10:56
  Luis: Or they should maybe send us some free swag, right.
• 10:59
  Nate: Yeah, the Plugged, in t-shirt.
• 11:00
  Nate: Yes, yes.
• 11:01
  Luis: Or VidAngel could give us a free subscription.
• 11:03
  Luis: Maybe, if enough Wayne Christian school parents subscribe and tell them that they heard about VidAngel on our podcast they might send us some free subscriptions.
• 11:15
  Luis: The last thing I would say is watch it together, right, use it as a discipleship tool.
• 11:19
  Luis: Now, my oldest daughter she's a teenager now and so there's some things that she has started watching that we get to talk about.
• 11:28
  Luis: So she's getting to that stage where she might want to watch Star Wars, like I'm a big Star Wars fan.
• 11:32
  Luis: In fact, we watched the last Star Wars that came out in theaters.
• 11:35
  Luis: We watched it together and we talked about it, and there's a point now where I can watch certain things with her that I can't watch with my younger daughter because she's not a teenager yet.
• 11:45
  Luis: And so watch it together, use it as a discipleship tool and don't see it just as entertainment.
• 11:52
  Luis: Again, I mentioned, I think in the last podcast we talked about watching Little House on the Prairie.
• 11:56
  Luis: We watched that as a family my youngest daughter she likes that show on Netflix.
• 12:01
  Luis: That's the is it cake show.
• 12:03
  Luis: So it's where they bake cakes and they make it look like a shoe or they make it look like a, like a bowling ball, and then people have to figure out is it cake or is it a bowling ball?
• 12:12
  Luis: And so we watch that together and it's something that we watch and we enjoy and we talk about it.
• 12:19
  Luis: Now, I'm not using that to disciple her, but it's just time that we're spending together, but it is.
• 12:24
  Nate: I mean you end up having conversations that can arise out of that, and I mean most of discipleship is just relationships, right?
• 12:31
  Nate: And if you don't have anything in common with your child, you don't have anything to talk to them about, you know they, you don't show an interest in their life, then then, uh, you know there's not a basis for that relationship other than you know, biologically I'm your, I'm your parent, you know.
• 12:45
  Nate: So that's, that's a good relationship building opportunity to kind of limit.
• 12:52
  Luis: So this is going back to screen time, but just kind of protecting what your girls are seeing Like.
• 12:57
  Luis: You do something interesting in your home, right?
• 13:00
  Luis: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 13:01
  Nate: So we try and protect our weekends.
• 13:02
  Nate: You know it's kind of like our Sabbath and you know, not a hardcore, like we're not going to do any work, we're not going to do stuff.
• 13:08
  Nate: I still mow the grass, you know things like that but we really try and protect those.
• 13:12
  Nate: As you know, days that were were not on devices, you know, as much as we can, as much as practical, and, um, you know, when I come home, uh, we talked about modeling so I put my phone on top of the fridge, um, and it I hopefully it will stay there most of the time that I'm at home, and especially on Saturdays.
• 13:30
  Nate: And so, in a way to kind of replace we talked about this last episode we try and spend long stretches of time outside on Saturdays with no devices, you know, just letting our girls play.
• 13:40
  Nate: You know, play in the yard, climb in the trees, just to be kids outside, and so you know, we may just be sitting on the back porch or we might be playing with them, but it's a replacement.
• 13:52
  Nate: It gives other times where you're not just kind of consuming but you're out enjoying nature, enjoying God's creation, and it just gives you another opportunity to have real-life, embodied experiences instead of just, oh, we're bored, let's flip on the TV or something.
• 14:11
  Luis: And so if you've been inspired by this and you want to know more, there's a book that I would encourage you to read.
• 14:17
  Luis: Now, again, I haven't read this book fully.
• 14:20
  Luis: I've just read excerpts from the book, and it's not probably written to a biblical worldview, but it's called the TechWise Family Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place, by Andy Crouch, and it offers practical guidance for families who are aiming to navigate the digital age thoughtfully, and so that's just a resource that parents may want to check out.
• 14:43
  Luis: So let's talk about social media now.
• 14:45
  Luis: Nate, it's the big one.
• 14:46
  Nate: Yeah, that's the one everybody's been waiting for, right?
• 14:48
  Nate: Yeah, so social media honestly, this is probably one of the biggest battlegrounds for our kids and I think it's telling right that, legally, children cannot create a social media account or any online account without parental consent until they are 13,.
• 15:06
  Nate: Right, because the government has decided that 13 is the age that you can sign a contract to give your information away, and so children are not allowed to do that a contract to give your information away and so children are not allowed to do that.
• 15:18
  Nate: But that doesn't stop them, and our tech companies at this point have not been motivated to really enforce that law.
• 15:24
  Nate: They just have a little checkbox Like what's going to say?
• 15:26
  Nate: My eight-year-old can't check the checkbox and say that she's 13?
• 15:31
  Nate: .
• 15:31
  Luis: Well, because they always tell the truth right.
• 15:33
  Luis: I mean, we know that 100% they're not going to lie.
• 15:35
  Luis: So when they see that 100 they're not gonna lie, so when they see that they're gonna be like oh, I can't join this social media because I'm really not 13.
• 15:41
  Nate: Yeah, yeah, yeah we should find a way to like, if I were really good at editing, we could like make that section when we're sarcastic.
• 15:47
  Nate: Yeah, like that, it changes our voices.
• 15:49
  Luis: Anyway, that was sarcasm we should come up with a sound effect like a sound effect play, so that people know that it's sarcasm.
• 15:55
  Luis: Yeah, yeah.
• 15:56
  Nate: We're new to the podcasting thing.
• 15:57
  Nate: When we're better we're going to add stuff like that, but we don't really know what we're doing right now.
• 16:01
  Nate: But anyway, if you've ever seen a teenager post a picture and then check their phone obsessively for likes and comments and all that.
• 16:23
  Nate: You know exactly what we're talking about.
• 16:24
  Nate: Social media isn't just a distraction, it really is shaping their identity.
• 16:27
  Nate: That's one of the things I mentioned last podcast about the anxious generation, their worth by, by likes and comments, and it creates this weird feedback loop Um, like, uh, and and they've actually researched this with um, with YouTubers and things like that that are algorithmically, you know, uh, curated what, what you see, and you know it makes this feedback loop where, like, I'll post this one thing, it gets a big positive reaction and so I'm more likely to do that thing to get another positive reaction.
• 17:00
  Luis: Well, just think about some of the challenges that exist on TikTok.
• 17:03
  Luis: I don't use TikTok, I don't have a TikTok account, but I've seen like where kids do TikTok challenges and a couple of years ago there was a big fad where, like, kids were videotaping like destruction of public property and like throwing it on TikTok or Instagram and so kids started to model that and repeat that.
• 17:21
  Luis: Or the Tide Pods Do you remember the Tide?
• 17:23
  Nate: Pods yes, when people were eating those right.
• 17:25
  Luis: And so it's this constant desire to get feedback and to get a response.
• 17:32
  Luis: Now, this could be a positive thing, because God did wire us this way so that we learn from our parents and family what is valued in our culture.
• 17:41
  Luis: So it's not a bad thing that kids want to emulate behavior, but that was designed to be in an embodied experience in the family, yes, but when kids replace the parent influence with the greater world of the internet, then they're letting people who should have no influence on them whatsoever determine who they become Like kids.
• 18:01
  Luis: Kids see something on social media and it begins to shape who they are.
• 18:05
  Luis: I just read a book yesterday to one of our second grade classes, called if I only had a green nose, by Max Licato, and I would encourage you parents.
• 18:13
  Luis: It's it's a short book, it's it's it's really cute.
• 18:15
  Luis: But it's about this guy who lives in a fantasy world where the whimsicals are created wood creatures.
• 18:27
  Luis: I want to get my nose painted green.
• 18:29
  Luis: And the creator's like do you really?
• 18:31
  Luis: And he's like well, maybe not.
• 18:32
  Luis: But then, as the story unfolds, he gets his nose painted green, but then the fad changes and now it's red, and now it's pink, and now it's orange, and he's having to constantly change it.
• 18:46
  Luis: And that's what's happening to our kids is they're being influenced by whatever the latest social media craze is In to comparison culture, and it's all built on getting people to click things, to like things, and your whole social media platform is actually shaped by your things.
• 19:07
  Luis: In fact, a few years ago, facebook got into some trouble because people figured out that there was a way that you could go on Facebook and pull out what Facebook knew about you.
• 19:16
  Luis: And based on your likes and based on your comments and based on the pages that you followed, it determined, it created a political identity for you, and so there were people that were going under and could see that Facebook had labeled them as ultra-conservative or as ultra-liberal, based off of those things, wow, wow and that's.
• 19:34
  Nate: This is all like relatively and I hate to say benign, but this is all just relatively benign.
• 19:39
  Nate: Ideas Like this gets a lot of attention and so I'm going to keep doing it.
• 19:44
  Nate: But then it gets even worse when we talk about how especially teen girls are most susceptible to this.
• 19:49
  Nate: According to the research that's out there, you know, if they spend three hours a day on social media, they're far more likely to struggle with things like anxiety and depression, and over 64% of teens have been exposed to harmful content such as self-harm, eating disorders or graphic violence on social media.
• 20:07
  Nate: In fact, I saw the New York Times ran an article where a researcher created an Instagram account as a 13-year-old girl because you know that's the minimum age as a 13-year-old girl and within 30 minutes of interacting with the app watching the shorts and those types of things the algorithms were already serving up content reflecting eating disorders in a positive light.
• 20:31
  Nate: So Instagram thought that this person was a 13-year-old girl and it's saying hey, anorexia, bulimia, these are positive things that you should emulate and so that when you open your kid up to social media, those are the things that it is highly likely that they will interact with and ultimately, kids begin to tie their worth to those things right To their likes, to their comments, to their follows, instead of Christ.
• 20:57
  Luis: Yep, dr Tony Reinke, he says in his book Competing Spectacles.
• 21:01
  Luis: He says our greatest problem is not screen addiction but sinful distraction.
• 21:07
  Luis: We must teach our children to fix their eyes on Christ, not the endless stream of digital approval.
• 21:14
  Luis: And when I read that I was like wow, yeah, and I mean like that speaks volume.
• 21:19
  Luis: And so how do we, how do we address this Right?
• 21:23
  Nate: So yeah, I think I would say the first thing, like we talked about with giving your child their own personal device.
• 21:28
  Nate: The same thing applies to social media.
• 21:30
  Nate: Delay social media as long as possible.
• 21:33
  Nate: Most experts are saying at least age 16, again the anxious generation.
• 21:38
  Nate: Jonathan height, he said you know that would be a bare minimum.
• 21:41
  Nate: You know they've gone through puberty where a lot of these social development is happening.
• 21:46
  Nate: You know psychologically, emotionally, and so by then they have a little bit more maturity to handle it.
• 21:52
  Nate: Personally I would say that's even still too young.
• 21:55
  Nate: But 16, I think would be the minimum age you start talking about.
• 21:59
  Nate: Is this even something that we as a family want to allow?
• 22:02
  Luis: Yeah, yeah.
• 22:03
  Luis: And I think to just build off of that, if you decide that you want to start letting your child have access to social media, maybe you've already let them have access to it, and so maybe you're thinking, okay, what do I do now?
• 22:15
  Luis: Well, remember, you're the parent, so you can say no, right, you can say no, yep, you're the parent so you can say no right.
• 22:21
  Nate: You can say no, yep, uh, but if thing can be undone, right, you can scale that, absolutely.
• 22:23
  Luis: In fact, we did right.
• 22:24
  Luis: We did, we.
• 22:25
  Luis: We made a decision, uh, when our oldest daughter was old enough to have social media, we, we allowed her, with some heavy filtering and some heavy parental controls.
• 22:35
  Luis: But then we came back and we're like you know what this, this, is, this is not the best thing.
• 22:40
  Luis: And so we've made a decision for our kids.
• 22:42
  Luis: Like you know, if we let them have social media, it probably won't be until they're 16, if that.
• 22:48
  Luis: But here's what you can do, right, if your child already has access to social media, just teach them.
• 22:53
  Luis: To.
• 22:53
  Luis: Ask a very simple question Would I post this if Jesus was following me?
• 22:58
  Luis: Right, like, think about the pictures that some of our girls post on social media and some of our guys post on social media, whether it's immodest, whether it's inappropriate, whether it's something that's feeding into popular culture.
• 23:14
  Luis: Just a simple question If Jesus was following me, would I post this?
• 23:20
  Luis: If I knew he was going to see this, yep, what would Jesus do.
• 23:24
  Nate: What would Jesus do?
• 23:25
  Nate: Right, I actually read.
• 23:25
  Nate: That's making a comeback.
• 23:27
  Luis: I think, but I mean, that's a good question to ask.
• 23:29
  Nate: Or even like, obviously, would you say this if Jesus were following you, which obviously he is?
• 23:35
  Nate: But even another thing is to recognize.
• 23:38
  Nate: You know the digital world is part of the real world, right?
• 23:40
  Nate: So would you say this to that person's face?
• 23:43
  Nate: Yeah, absolutely.
• 23:43
  Nate: Questions like that, like just get your students, your kids, thinking about what they're posting.
• 23:49
  Nate: That is a big step in helping them navigate the digital world with maturity and from a biblical worldview.
• 23:57
  Luis: And we talked about some parental controls in the last episode.
• 24:00
  Luis: Just a few more that I'll mention here.
• 24:03
  Luis: There are apps like Bark and Covenant Eyes that allow you to see what your children are posting and what they're seeing.
• 24:12
  Nate: And those work just across the whole device.
• 24:14
  Nate: So that's not even just social media.
• 24:17
  Luis: That's everything that they're accessing, and so it lets you see what they're seeing, what they're doing.
• 24:21
  Luis: Instagram has some pretty good parental controls, but it's interesting that I think I read last week that somewhere in Europe there's some countries that are passing laws now to prevent social media companies from targeting teenagers and that they're going to start creating penalties to penalize them if they start circumventing those laws.
• 24:44
  Nate: Australia did too, and they've come pretty heavy on them, and it was one of those where, I think they passed those laws and then they said all right, this is the rule Tech companies.
• 24:53
  Nate: Now you've got some motivation or we're going to shut you down in our company and so Our country.
• 24:59
  Luis: I'm reminded of a dad that I met a few years ago who shared with me that they have a rule in their home that there is no technology in their child's bedroom, so their son was able to use his phone, his laptop, anywhere in the house except for his bedroom, right?
• 25:17
  Luis: So he had to be in the living room where his parent could find them.
• 25:21
  Luis: And so maybe you could even set a similar rule in your family that if your child is going to use social media, they can only use social media when they're in the living room or when they're with you, because in that way you're able to monitor what they're posting on social media.
• 25:37
  Nate: Yeah, and you should follow your child.
• 25:39
  Nate: If you let them have social media, you should follow your child Because you let them have social media.
• 25:41
  Nate: You should follow your child Because just letting them know that they are seen is a big help there.
• 25:46
  Luis: Yeah, and you should have access to their accounts, like you should know their passwords, like you should be able to log on to their Instagram, to their Facebook, to their Snapchat, as them, from your device.
• 25:57
  Luis: But even that gets a bit tricky because kids have started creating ghost accounts, and if you're not familiar with what a ghost account is is, they have the profile that everybody sees, that everybody knows about, that the parents you're aware of, and then they go in and create another profile that you don't know about.
• 26:12
  Luis: That becomes their real profile.
• 26:14
  Luis: We recently had here in North Carolina two Amber Alerts that both resulted from teenage girls who got caught up with shady people and guess what?
• 26:24
  Luis: They met them through social media and these were 15-year-old girls who met men on social media and these men started grooming them into a relationship that resulted in these girls leaving their homes with them and these men had nefarious intentions.
• 26:43
  Luis: Now, thankfully, the two girls were found, but it's not a unique story.
• 26:46
  Luis: After I read these stories, I did some research, and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children examined 476 cases from 2020 to 2023, so about three or four years and what they found is that children were lured online and they were reported missing.
• 27:06
  Luis: And what they found is that over 80% of them, these cases started on social media or online gaming platforms.
• 27:15
  Nate: Wow, oh man, that's crazy.
• 27:17
  Nate: And so parents.
• 27:18
  Nate: I guess the encouragement here for you is be the parent, be aware of what's going on, and just being aware is going to solve a lot of those problems on the front end.
• 27:27
  Nate: So, as we wrap this up, Lewis, you got any last recommendations or notes of encouragement for the parents listening?
• 27:35
  Luis: Well, parents, if you want to learn more about this, let me recommend the book.
• 27:38
  Luis: I had the privilege of meeting Kathy Cook last year at a conference on the mental health crisis in teenagers, and she talked about her book Screens and Teens.
• 27:49
  Luis: Now I haven't read the book, but she gave a talk on the book and this is a great book for understanding the effects of social media on kids today, and so, if you're interested by this topic, check it out, because what we know is that technology is deeply woven into our kids' lives.
• 28:06
  Luis: But here's the good news God has equipped us to lead them.
• 28:10
  Luis: Well, mom, dad, I want you to imagine what your home would feel like if your kids weren't glued to screens, but if they were engaged in real conversations with you, if they were reading God's word, if they were growing in their wisdom.
• 28:26
  Luis: Now, that kind of change doesn't happen overnight, but it does happen when we take small, intentional steps.
• 28:34
  Luis: So remember this your kid's identity is in Christ.
• 28:38
  Luis: It's not on their online status.
• 28:40
  Luis: Their entertainment choices are going to shape their hearts, so help them choose wisely, and then, ultimately, you're the parent.
• 28:49
  Luis: So you set the tone for screen time in your home.
• 28:53
  Luis: You set the rules for social media.
• 28:56
  Luis: You set the rules for their entertainment choices.
• 28:59
  Luis: So be intentional.
• 29:00
  Luis: In fact, tonight at dinner, try this ask your kids about their favorite online influencer.
• 29:07
  Nate: Then talk about what kind of worldview that person is shaping Yep and that, and that'll even just get that conversation going and they, they might be thrilled to tell you all about this person that you have never met and you have no clue about, and that's going to be eye-opening.
• 29:22
  Nate: So just have that conversation and that will go a long way in their discipleship.
• 29:27
  Nate: So, y'all, we want to hear from you guys.
• 29:29
  Nate: If you've got questions you want us to answer here on the podcast.
• 29:32
  Nate: If you've got questions about things that we've said even here, about screens or entertainment or social media, send them our way.
• 29:39
  Nate: You can email podcast at waynechristianorg and we'll take a look at those and see how we can help, because we want to do this for you.
• 29:46
  Nate: We're here to assist you to be equipped so that your kids can influence their world for Christ.
• 29:53
  Nate: And if you know a parent who might find this helpful, share it with them and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss our next episode.
• 30:00
  Nate: But until then, let's keep leading the next generation to stand firm in their faith and influence their world for Christ.