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Parenting Through Grace, Not Perfection · ABCs of Parenting Adult Children

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: How Grace changed everything.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: If I had to sum up the biggest transition transformation in my parenting, it would be this Grace changed everything.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Grace taught me to move from performance to connection.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Grace taught me to lead with compassion instead of fear.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Grace helped me to extend to my children the same kindness I wish I had received.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: Grace slowed me down, made me less reactive, less shaming, more understanding.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Grace reminded me that my kids don't need a perfect parent.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: They need a present one.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: And when I finally embraced that, something inside me relaxed.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: I stopped trying to be flawless.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: I started focusing on being faithful.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: I realized that God wasn't asking me to parent without mistakes.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: He was asking me to parent with grace.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: And that shift created emotional safety in my home.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: It freed me from shame.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: It helped me to show up in ways that build connection instead of fear.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome to ABC's of Parenting Adult Children Podcast.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: My name is James Moffat, and I'll be your host.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Today we're going to have episode seven of Growing in Grace Children of the Seventies.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: So when I look back over my life, some of the hardest work I've ever done wasn't in my career, my ministry, or any project I've taken on.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: The hardest work was healing the parts of my childhood that were still shaping me as an adult.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Those old wounds didn't disappear just because I grew up.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: They followed me into marriage, into fatherhood, into moments where I wished I could respond better than I did.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Today I want to talk honestly about the healing God has done in me, the areas I'm still growing in, and how grace has completely transformed the way I show up as a parent.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're listening and you've ever felt like you're dragging old pain into new seasons, I want you to know you're not alone.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: I've been there too.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: What I've healed.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: One of the biggest shifts in my life came when I finally realized that healing myself wasn't just about me.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: It was about the people I love.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: When I started doing the deeper emotional work, everything changed.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: I had to face my emotional triggers instead of pretending they weren't there.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: I had to learn how to name what I was feeling instead of shutting down or reacting.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: I had to slow myself down, breathe, and choose patience over reactivity.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: I had to learn how to name what I was feeling instead of shutting down or overreacting.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: I had to slow myself down, breathe, and choose patience over reactivity, even when it felt impossible.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: I had to confront old attachment wounds and those quiet fears of abandonment that I didn't even know were still influencing me.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: I had to learn how to comfort instead of criticize, how to show up with compassion instead of defensiveness.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, a lot of this was me reparenting myself, giving myself the understanding, the gentleness, the grace I didn't always know how to give.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: Healing didn't just change me, it changed my marriage, my friendships, my faith, and the way I parent.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: God's compassion reshaped my identity and my relationships in a way I never expected.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: What I'm still working on.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Now let me be real.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not done growing.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Not even close.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: I still have triggers that catch me off guard.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: I still overreact when I'm stressed or overwhelmed.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: I still wrestle with control, anxiety, anger, and that old perfectionism that tries to creep back in.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: There are moments I look back on as a parent and think, I wish I had handled that differently.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: That tension between progress and perfection.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I feel that often.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the truth I'm learning.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Growth is lifelong.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have to arrive to be a good parent.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: I just have to keep showing up, keep learning, keep letting God work in me.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Sanctification isn't a one-time event, it's a process.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: And grace fills the gaps between who I am and who I'm becoming.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: How grace changed everything.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: If I had to sum up the biggest transition transformation in my parenting, it would be this Grace changed everything.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Grace taught me to move from performance to connection.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Grace taught me to lead with compassion instead of fear.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Grace helped me to extend to my children the same kindness I wish I had received.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Grace slowed me down, made me less reactive, less shaming, more understanding.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Grace reminded me that my kids don't need a perfect parent.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: They need a present one.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: And when I finally embraced that, something inside me relaxed.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: I stopped trying to be flawless.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: I started focusing on being faithful.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: I realized that God wasn't asking me to parent without mistakes.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: He was asking me to parent with grace.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that shift created emotional safety in my home.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: It freed me from shame.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: It helped me to show up in ways that build connection instead of fear.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to come from a perfect family to build a healthier one.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: Healing doesn't erase the past, but grace can change what gets passed down.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Healing is a journey, not a finish line.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: And the beautiful thing about grace is that it meets us right where we are, in the progress, in the setbacks, and in the moments we wish we could redo.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to be a perfect parent to be a present one.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: God can use your healing to change generations.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Keep leaning into grace.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: You're doing better than you think.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're listening to this audio version of Growing in Grace episode seven, I would ask you to follow and to subscribe and to leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: If you're on my YouTube channel watching this video, please subscribe and follow.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: And leave a comment in the comment and in the community section and let me know how these Growing in Grace episode videos have helped you or if they resonate with you.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: I hope this uh I hope this episode resonated with you and I hope it is helpful.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: I hope the whole series has been helpful if you're a child of the seventies.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I will be talking to y'all later.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Bye bye.