Latest / Just Heal with Dr Jay / Building and Battling In Business with Kaila Cherie

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Building and Battling In Business with Kaila Cherie · Just Heal with Dr Jay

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  Speaker 1: All right, I am excited about today's guests. As you know,
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  Speaker 1: for the month of July, I am interviewing some of
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  Speaker 1: the most dynamic, powerful and inspirational women from all walks
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  Speaker 1: of life. And today I have a great opportunity to
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  Speaker 1: sit down with the CEO, business owner, founder, all the
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  Speaker 1: titles that you can think of of the Blueprint University,
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  Speaker 1: the woman herself, the incomparable and infamous because she doesn't
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  Speaker 1: like being out in the front, and I've learned this
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  Speaker 1: much about her. But I'm so glad to have with
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  Speaker 1: me today, miss Kayla Cherie, the founder of the Blueprint University. So,
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  Speaker 1: Miss Kayla, welcome to the hill In community. I am
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  Speaker 1: so excited to sit down and talk with you. I
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  Speaker 1: met you in the green room what was that a
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  Speaker 1: month couple months ago, and learn of your story, and
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  Speaker 1: learn of your business and all of the exciting things
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  Speaker 1: that you do. And if you haven't watched an episode,
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  Speaker 1: so this is just heal and this is all things healing,
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  Speaker 1: all things mental health, all things discussing life, your journey,
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  Speaker 1: and all those great things. So I'm excited to have
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  Speaker 1: you with us today. So tell me about this Blueprint
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  Speaker 1: University because I kind of got a chance to walk
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  Speaker 1: through what you're building and it is phenomenal, and so
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  Speaker 1: I want to say congratulations on what you're building. But
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  Speaker 1: tell me about the Blueprint University.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, So, Blueprint University is a trade school for entrepreneurs.
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  Speaker 2: Our mission, of course is to close the gap between
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  Speaker 2: small businesses and fortune five hundred companies. With that, we
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  Speaker 2: take businesses from there from education, educating them being the
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  Speaker 2: willhouse behind them. So we have a marketing department, we
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  Speaker 2: have a media department, we have funding, finance, everything like
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  Speaker 2: a one stop shop that these business owners would need.
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  Speaker 2: So that's that's pretty much what Blueprint University is. Big
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  Speaker 2: on education. We have incubator program, accelerator, start up all one.
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  Speaker 1: Snapshot all of that. Now, how did you get into today?
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  Speaker 2: So I started business at twelve years old making ear
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  Speaker 2: rings when basketball wise was a hit. So I used
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  Speaker 2: to go downtown in ls where I grew up and
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  Speaker 2: made all these earrings. So I made about thirty six
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  Speaker 2: hundred dollars a week doing that.
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  Speaker 1: Whoa slow, slow down, We're gonna okay, we're gonna we're
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  Speaker 1: gonna go on a journey. Well, you're not for to
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  Speaker 1: bypass thirty six hundred dollars a week at twelve years old? Yes,
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  Speaker 1: what was in these ear rings?
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  Speaker 2: They were just a hit. They were I would make
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  Speaker 2: be able to be as creative as I wanted to be,
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  Speaker 2: So I would just make well hit earrings.
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  Speaker 1: I'm gonna need you to sell us a picture of
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  Speaker 1: these ear rings so we can flash them in the
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  Speaker 1: interview because I'm fascinating. Thirty six hundred dollars at twelve
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  Speaker 1: years old? And how long did you do that?
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  Speaker 2: About two or three years? So they were a hit
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  Speaker 2: for about two or three years. So I did that because.
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  Speaker 1: Wow, And who were your customers?
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  Speaker 2: My mother she worked at the prison, so she would
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  Speaker 2: take them inside of the prison and sell them to
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  Speaker 2: the women, her coworkers, of course. And then also I
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  Speaker 2: would go to the beauty shops on the weekend. I
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  Speaker 2: would sell to them at school around Mother's Day. I
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  Speaker 2: would make mom airrings, mom bracelets, and then the kids
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  Speaker 2: will buy them from me. So it just picked up
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  Speaker 2: from there.
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  Speaker 1: So now you know that, you know the next question
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  Speaker 1: coming because I got to be me in three years.
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  Speaker 1: How much money did you make?
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  Speaker 3: Oh?
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  Speaker 2: Wow? I probably made about my first sixty seventy five thousand.
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  Speaker 1: Dollars seventy five thousand and three years. Thirty six hundred Wow,
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  Speaker 1: and you probably Moore is Trump and our rest not
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  Speaker 1: gonna watch the show, so we gotta work our taxes. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: I mean, because I'm saying, because I'm sitting there calculating
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  Speaker 1: thirty six hundred dollars a week, you know what I'm saying.
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  Speaker 1: And in almost two weeks, you already at ten bands.
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  Speaker 1: So I'm like ten bands every two weeks. You already
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  Speaker 1: at twenty bands, at forty bands, sixty bands. Like you
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  Speaker 1: did more than seventy thousand three years. I think you
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  Speaker 1: probably more, huh yeah, because I'm like, the numbers ain't mathing.
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  Speaker 1: So I'm like, hold on, wait a minute, CJ years yeah,
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  Speaker 1: three yeah, and that's what And that's what I was thinking.
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  Speaker 1: I was like, you probably did about half a million. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: so you you you stopped after three years? And what
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  Speaker 1: do you do with all of the money that you made?
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  Speaker 2: I was I didn't know it at the time, but
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  Speaker 2: now looking back, I used to do a lot of
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  Speaker 2: community involvement. So like with my school, I became like
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  Speaker 2: the president of certain clubs, girls clubs, BSU Black Student Union,
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  Speaker 2: and I would put on different talent shows and different
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  Speaker 2: events for the school, and I would just donate all
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  Speaker 2: of my money. Really, I was probably just giving it back.
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  Speaker 2: And that's where my help in hands started. Like I
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  Speaker 2: really just started giving a lot. But fast forward, I
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  Speaker 2: was able to save a lot of that and I
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  Speaker 2: started Angel investing at the age of nineteen.
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  Speaker 1: Wow. So Angel invested in nineteen So what were some
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  Speaker 1: of the businesses or were some of the things that
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  Speaker 1: you invested in of companies.
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  Speaker 2: I invested into a car wash, invested into a nel salon.
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  Speaker 2: I had this one hundred and sixty unit space in
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  Speaker 2: Las Vegas, Nevada, because I went to UNLV I studyed
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  Speaker 2: pre medicine, okay, and right across the street still there,
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  Speaker 2: it's this large building, one hundred and sixty units, and
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  Speaker 2: my idea was to make it an African American Chinatown.
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  Speaker 2: So with that, I went to these different businesses. One
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  Speaker 2: of them they used to wash my car, and they
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  Speaker 2: were like, I want to expand my business. I rode
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  Speaker 2: up their business plan. I got them contracts with different
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  Speaker 2: car rental companies, so like a big one in Vegas
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  Speaker 2: was like Fox Rental, car Ace car Rental, and things
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  Speaker 2: like that. So we started watching their vehicles. So I
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  Speaker 2: invested a lot into that company. Initially I did a
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  Speaker 2: music studio inside of that space, a restaurant, just trying
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  Speaker 2: to build up the community in that way. So I
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  Speaker 2: invested a lot.
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  Speaker 1: Wow, and the one hundred and sixty unit. What was
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  Speaker 1: the return once you made your first investment.
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  Speaker 2: Well, that project ended up leaving me bankrupt at the
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  Speaker 2: age of twenty one. So a lot of it became
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  Speaker 2: a lot of Robb Peter to pay Paul. Because some
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  Speaker 2: businesses did good, some didn't. I had a lot of
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  Speaker 2: good partnerships and had a lot of bad partnerships too,
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  Speaker 2: So some of the businesses have to take care of
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  Speaker 2: the other businesses to keep a float until it just
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  Speaker 2: couldn't anymore.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, And as I'm sitting there thinking, because when guests
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  Speaker 1: were talking, I love the process in real time and
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  Speaker 1: to see how you have continued to move forward, because
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  Speaker 1: bankruptcy would stop most people relative young. And to think
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  Speaker 1: about you continued on what was the driver for you
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  Speaker 1: after experiencing bankruptcy at such an early age.
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  Speaker 2: Back then, I was just like, Okay, this is the
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  Speaker 2: cards I'm dealt with now. How do I just always
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  Speaker 2: been a person to keep moving forward. It's like resilience
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  Speaker 2: just I can only go up from here, right, it
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  Speaker 2: can't go can't get no worse. So I'm at my
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  Speaker 2: lowest here. So how am I going to get through
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  Speaker 2: this hurdle?
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  Speaker 1: I just and who's supporting you? Like, who's around you? Like?
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  Speaker 1: What are the friendship circle? Is family involved? Like what
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  Speaker 1: was that like? Because I'm sitting there thinking, I'm forty three,
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  Speaker 1: and I'm thinking like bankruptcy for most people, Like I've
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  Speaker 1: read stories and as a therapist, some people are going
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  Speaker 1: through bankruptcy and it's like they have done egregious things
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  Speaker 1: and egregious meaning like it's like I got to take
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  Speaker 1: everybody out, you know what I mean? They have died
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  Speaker 1: by suicide. They I mean they felt that life was over.
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  Speaker 1: And what I'm interested in knowing where did that resilience
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  Speaker 1: come from?
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  Speaker 2: The resilience. I get to ask the question a lot,
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  Speaker 2: and I'm like, I don't know. Sometimes I think it's
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  Speaker 2: just was born inside of me, or it's just something
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  Speaker 2: that I've learned how to get past. I don't know.
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  Speaker 2: It's just I don't know how to. I've always been
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  Speaker 2: a solutionist, so I don't know how not to keep
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  Speaker 2: moving forward like there has to be a way, and
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  Speaker 2: am a strong believer.
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  Speaker 1: So knowing that you have to keep moving forward, I
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  Speaker 1: have to go to childhood because most of what we
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  Speaker 1: become is all centered around our environment in our adolescent years.
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  Speaker 1: It's centered around how we are spoken to, how we
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  Speaker 1: are cared for, how we are nurtured in those things.
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  Speaker 1: So in your childhood, I know, for me, right, my
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  Speaker 1: resilience come from just watching my mom navigate through some
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  Speaker 1: of the most difficult times. We were homeless, and I
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  Speaker 1: watched my mom work like two jobs for three kids,
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  Speaker 1: and seeing her figuring it out allowed me to know
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  Speaker 1: that whatever life was throwing at me, I was able
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  Speaker 1: to figure it out. And I cannot take this away
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  Speaker 1: from my father. My father, whatever he did something, he
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  Speaker 1: went all in. And my father's a pastor and whenever
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  Speaker 1: he preaches, I mean, he preached like it's this last sermon.
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  Speaker 1: And what I took from that is that if he's
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  Speaker 1: going to do it, he gotta do it. You know
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  Speaker 1: what I mean? So for you, when did you learn
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  Speaker 1: that if I'm going to do it, I gotta do it.
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  Speaker 2: I learned that the track, honestly, So I started running
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  Speaker 2: track like age six up until I was fourteen, and
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  Speaker 2: my coach always told me you got to have heart,
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  Speaker 2: and with that, I have no athlete by any means.
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  Speaker 1: But did your folks put you in track?
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  Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, we would you run everything because I was
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  Speaker 2: in it so long. So I started off, you know,
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  Speaker 2: for its one hundred, two hundred. Then I advanced to
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  Speaker 2: two hundred meter hurdles. I was so happy when I
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  Speaker 2: got through that. But I did four by one, four
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  Speaker 2: by four. I was really good at shot put, so
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  Speaker 2: I would go to Junior Olympics and things like that
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  Speaker 2: for shotput as a kid. But we always know once
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  Speaker 2: we started something, we can never quit it, so that's
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  Speaker 2: then stilled that into us really early. Like my mom
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  Speaker 2: shaw I said, like, if you're gonna start soccer, you're
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  Speaker 2: gonna start this sport like I did tennis one year.
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  Speaker 2: I wanted to quit so bad because I didn't know
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  Speaker 2: how hard tennis was gonna be, but it was always like,
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  Speaker 2: you can't quit. So I think a lot of that
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  Speaker 2: comes from from sports is discipline.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, and the discipline is very necessary for not just success,
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  Speaker 1: but the discipline is also for the structure of life
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  Speaker 1: that without discipline, I can tell any man that's not disciplined,
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  Speaker 1: I can tell you have much structure. Yeah, because I
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  Speaker 1: look at me and based on their level of discipline
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  Speaker 1: and look at people the same, particularly in business, you know,
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  Speaker 1: because if you're going to be successful in business, you
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  Speaker 1: have to be disciplined in the area of learning. Yes,
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  Speaker 1: how much have you learned? And probably don't have enough
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  Speaker 1: time to unpack all of that? How much have you
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  Speaker 1: learned about you in business? Not about business, but about you?
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  Speaker 1: What have you learned about Kayler?
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  Speaker 2: The biggest thing, it's continuous. Every day I learned something new.
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  Speaker 2: But people pleasing. So that's a big thing that comes
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  Speaker 2: up in business a lot, because not being able to
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  Speaker 2: say no when you know you should say no, or
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  Speaker 2: taken on too much when you know you shouldn't be
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  Speaker 2: taking on certain things. So I've had to navigate and
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  Speaker 2: figure what that looks like for me and really protect
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  Speaker 2: myself because sometimes I can hurt you as you're navigating
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  Speaker 2: through business. So definitely people pleasing. Also, I've noticed that
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  Speaker 2: I can't allow myself to I'm human and you're gonna
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  Speaker 2: work with everybody in business humans. So I'm always been
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  Speaker 2: on relationships too, Like I really want to figure out
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  Speaker 2: who you are, what we're doing before we get in,
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  Speaker 2: you know, in bed together business, marry each other because
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  Speaker 2: that's what it is anytime you're doing something with someone.
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  Speaker 2: But just try to like figure out people. And I
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  Speaker 2: had to open up myself to be able to.
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  Speaker 3: Relate relatable with others, especially if the type of work
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  Speaker 3: I'm doing now, because sometimes I can find myself just
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  Speaker 3: being like a silent assassin and.
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  Speaker 2: Nobody ever knows I'm doing anything.
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  Speaker 1: No, with that, that's that's that's a deep one. A
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  Speaker 1: solemn assassin because they'll kill you and you didn't even
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  Speaker 1: know used a target. Yeah, mmm mmm, the solent assassin.
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  Speaker 1: I want to stay right there.
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  Speaker 2: Why that term, because I guess from the even when
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  Speaker 2: I did all of those things, when I go back
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  Speaker 2: on things I did at a younger age, it's like
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  Speaker 2: nobody knew. I always felt unseen at the time where
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  Speaker 2: nobody ever really knew those things were going on or
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  Speaker 2: at the capacity I was doing the math and I
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  Speaker 2: went through a lot of different silent battles like by myself.
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  Speaker 1: But when was that was that intentional? No? What do
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  Speaker 1: you have wanted somebody to know that you were in
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  Speaker 1: a battle.
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  Speaker 2: That's probably why I was doing that. Yeah, when I
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  Speaker 2: look back at it now, Yeah, Like you said, it
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  Speaker 2: all comes back from childhood. You want to feel seen.
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  Speaker 2: You want people to seem like they see you know,
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  Speaker 2: the work that you're doing.
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  Speaker 1: And sometimes that's a real thing. Yeah, and we can
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  Speaker 1: park there because you know, it's hard when you're not
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  Speaker 1: seen and you desire to be seen. It's hard to
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  Speaker 1: navigate when you want to be heard and no one
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  Speaker 1: is hearing you. It's as if you have tape over
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  Speaker 1: your mouth and you're streaming. You're saying something but no
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  Speaker 1: one can understand. You're saying something, but no one can
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  Speaker 1: hear you. That's tough. And I could imagine trying to
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  Speaker 1: do business while battling secretly while also upholding the face.
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  Speaker 1: What was that like for you?
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  Speaker 2: I'll go back to age eighteen nineteen before I went
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  Speaker 2: into angel investing. So that year I had actually attempted
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  Speaker 2: suicide that year, and it was I was in school
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  Speaker 2: studying Premium. Took on nine eighteen credits my first semester
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  Speaker 2: insane because I'm over still trying to prove myself right.
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  Speaker 2: Prior to that, took every honorary class you could think of,
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  Speaker 2: made straight a's growing up and it still didn't seem
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  Speaker 2: like enough. So that's kind of what led me to
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  Speaker 2: that incident at nineteen right, And then when I found
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  Speaker 2: my was the toughest spot at was ever at in
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  Speaker 2: my life, life like, and nobody knew, probably besides my mom.
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  Speaker 2: And that was a person like I, you know, called
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  Speaker 2: cried to to try to pull me out, and I
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  Speaker 2: had to really get through that time. And from there
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  Speaker 2: a lot of things came up that I had to
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  Speaker 2: heal and deal with. But I can honestly say it
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  Speaker 2: was it was necessary, it was needed because as of
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  Speaker 2: right now, like I never have those thoughts or those
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  Speaker 2: feelings anymore.
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  Speaker 1: So what happened that day.
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  Speaker 2: That triggered I don't know. I think it was a
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  Speaker 2: course of things over time, you know what set me off?
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  Speaker 2: I think it was the ending of my pressure min
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  Speaker 2: semester and I probably made my first sea every life.
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  Speaker 1: So did you did you? Did you feel? Because I
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  Speaker 1: don't want to sort of scale through what you share
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  Speaker 1: because I'm a two time suicide survivor so and I
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  Speaker 1: know that there are people that are watching this that
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  Speaker 1: are struggling with suicidal ideation, which is the thought of
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  Speaker 1: not just taking a life, but the ways in which
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  Speaker 1: they would want to lead. And I'm thinking about nineteen
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  Speaker 1: year Oldkayler and you said something, you said just wanting
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  Speaker 1: to be seen that I was doing enough and to
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: think about what happened that day and to think about
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  Speaker 1: where you are. What is the nexus kind of like
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  Speaker 1: this point of kind of this portal, this pathway for
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  Speaker 1: you that allows you to know today that if you
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  Speaker 1: did nothing else, that you've done enough.
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  Speaker 2: I haven't got there yet. I still struggle with that,
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  Speaker 2: still struggle with that.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, how do you manage that?
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  Speaker 2: Continuing to build? Build in battle?
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  Speaker 1: M build in battle. That's a word for somebody, and
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  Speaker 1: I have to go there. That's got to be exhausting.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah it can be.
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  Speaker 1: But can I share someone with you? You gotta rest
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  Speaker 1: And I'm not talking about sleep. I mean rest to
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  Speaker 1: where what you build begins to work for you in
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: seasons where you don't feel like you always have to
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: have your hands on the plow. Because because I think
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  Speaker 1: one of the challenges that a lot of successful women,
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: because I work with a lot of successful women, is
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  Speaker 1: that's the thing that I often hear them say, is that, man,
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  Speaker 1: I just want to be seen that I've done enough
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  Speaker 1: or that I am enough. And as much as that
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  Speaker 1: is a thing where people give us a validation, I
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  Speaker 1: also think that there is a responsibility that we have
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  Speaker 1: to accept that we are rather than waiting for them
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  Speaker 1: to clap because we are.
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  Speaker 2: That's that's true, you know.
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  Speaker 1: And you because and I'm saying this is because I
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  Speaker 1: feel the interview taking a ship, because you have done
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  Speaker 1: a lot.
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  Speaker 2: How do you twenty eight?
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: You're twenty eight, and I'm going to tell you how
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  Speaker 1: I thought you were, not because you look like I
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: thought you about thirty three, because of just the way
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  Speaker 1: you carry yourself, and I would not have given you
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  Speaker 1: twenty eight.
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  Speaker 2: People have seen me like that since I was like five.
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  Speaker 2: They always thought I was older. Yeah, well I carried.
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  Speaker 1: And I'm saying this because this for you. You got
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  Speaker 1: a long road ahead of you, and you I have
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  Speaker 1: to go back to this building and battling the duality
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: of that man. Because I once said something when I
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: was on my tour three years ago. I said, somebody says, man,
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: what is it like? How does it feel? I said,
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: imagine yourself building a plane and flying in at the
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: same time, And can I tell you, Kaylor that thing
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: damn near killed me because what you realize is that
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: you're in the air with the plane that's not fully finished.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: And that's what it feels like every day.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: And my hope for you, and this is personal, it
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: is there not that you find balance, but that you
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: find space to just rest, to turn your brain off.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: Because what we often do is rather than healing, we
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: keep achieving, you know, because it's easy to go get
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: another degree, go get another business, go write up another
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: business plan. Because as much as football was like mike outlet,
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: theilding thing is your outlet, I assume because when I
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: can touch something and like, like even when I'm doing
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: business a day, like when we was talking other day,
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: I look at everything like like the x's and o's
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: like in football, like okay, if you're trying to, you know,
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: get yardage with this play and the defense is set
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: up to stop you because they're in this type of
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: formation or they're in this type of defense. I'm always
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: looking at things like okay, how can I score against
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: the threat? And then also what is the defense that
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: I need to you know what I'm saying beyond when
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: there is an offensive issue, you know what I mean?
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: And the one of the most challenging things is the
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: process of to continue looking at everything like that, because
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: it's also the way I cope. Yeah, that's real, you
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, And it keeps you from happening
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: to really deal because to deal means you have to feel.
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: And I want to ask you this question. And this
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: may be something that you still process because you're so young.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: It's so powerful. At the same time, I don't see
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: it yet, and I know you don't. I know you don't,
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: but you are. Look at what I walked through the
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: other day. How big is that building?
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: Cala thirty almost thirty one thousand square.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: Feet thirty one thousand square feet that building. You walked
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: me into, some green rooms, you walked me into some
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: media rooms, you walked me into I think that was
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: like a little kid saying you walked into Hey, you said,
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: doctor j we're going to be doing podcasts over here.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: Like look at what you built.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: And also had another building just a couple of years ago.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: I've been in construction for three year and got swindled
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: out of millions of dollars on that project. And now
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: the building you saw is the building Actually I wanted
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: at the very beginning, and it's like God brings it
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: back full circle.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: You know, and he's also bringing it back too, so
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: you can slow down and see details. Because one of
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: the things that we missed when we're building and when
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: we are trying to manage you know what I'm saying emotionally,
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: it's very challenging to see all of the moving parts.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: So I'm with a mentor of mine and we're at
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: lunch and he's talking to me about the deal that
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: he has just did, right or a deal that he
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: was sitting in on with his mentor. So the deal
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: I can't remember. It was like in the three point
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: five million or something like that, and I was like
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: at the time, I'm in my twenties, late twenties, because
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: he's like taking me on his wing. And again back then,
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: you know, for somebody to be saying they was doing
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: like two or three million dollar deal, it's just kind
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: of like, oh man, this is this is huge. And
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: he says, the guy says, I don't want to do
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: the deal, and so he's kind of like, you know,
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: what do you mean. He says, well, I don't have
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: enough details, and the guy was like, well, I'm laying
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: it out for you, He says. Have you ever heard
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: of saying that the devil is in the details? He says, yes,
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: I've heard that. He says, Well, I don't have enough
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: details to see what the devil is. And I just
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: sat there and I'm sharing that because I think part
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: of how things are happening for you now is so
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: you can start seeing details and you can make wiser
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: decisions on things that will require all of you rather
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: than just pieces of you. Does that make sense? Yeah? Yeah,
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: So how do you feel emotionally as you're navigating and
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: that this may be layer? How do you feel emotionally
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: now that you're in this space where you're you're working
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: on this new building.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: I feel peace than I did for the last eight months.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: It was the last eight months of my life, hoping.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: It feels like I've been living health but I feel
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: I finally feel peace and relief. That's right now. I'm
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: at peace and just knowing that God's going to do
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: his work.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: I'm just trusting in the space.
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: And thank you for being so vulnerable too, because I
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: can tell that it's tough for you because you know
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: and it's a lot to navigate through, and especially when
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: you got to do it alone, slowly, and nobody tells
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: you how there in the area is at the top.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: And what I'm hoping is that you continue to build
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: your capacity for being at the top, because one of
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: the keys to survive in the top of the mountain
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: is having a capacity to manage the air. You know.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: That's why, you know, because I used to hear everybody
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: can't go, and we hear that, and that's so true.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: Have you learned that?
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, a lot this year the past two years,
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: I have learned, you know, because we have such good
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: hearts and we want to help everybody, but we have
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: to know too that, like you said, everybody can't go
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: with you, and I you know, sometimes you want the
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: closest people to go with you, and those are the
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: ones that probably show you too that they're not ready.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: And it's and it's okay that they're not ready, and
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: you just have to know that they're you know that
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: they're not right, they're not ready, and you just have
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: to be okay with that. And I think I learned
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: that early on too, and I just didn't know it
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: because there was a lot of people I had to
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: block out early in my life and I've always had
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: small circles. I never really done like a lot of
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: friends or kept a lot of people around me. It's
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: always been like three people and that's it. And you
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: know it. One day I was at a church service
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: and different spirits and stuff that you that are people
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: around you that'll carry that and you take on you
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: take on that and it becomes heavier and you know,
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: thepacity said put certain people on your phone and do
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: not do not answer, like, do not answer certain Yeah,
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: And I had to learn that for myself early on,
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: to put that to block that energy out so that
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: I can start healing from certain from certain situations and
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: knowing that I have to keep this person at that space.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: So now even today, like certain people call the text
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: one not to answer and not want to respond right
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: away because I know what type of how much energy
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: is gonna take out of me? Yeah, you have to
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: be able to identify and know that.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: So yeah, because that's that that that's hard to identify.
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: It's hard to not only just identify, it's also hard
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: to accept, and particularly for people that you thought would
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: be there, you know. And I think that was one
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: of the things that really bothered me as my journey
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: began to change and God begins to expand my territory.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: The hardest part was like the people. I was like, oh,
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: definitely he'll be around or definitely she'll be around. And
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: even in relationship, that was challenging, you know, because nobody
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: tells you how the person you're dating impacts not only
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: your business and your your everything. Like can you speak
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: to the women who are watching and kind of talk
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: about that because I can talk about it from my
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: perspective as a male, But how important is it to
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: even be connected to the right males? If you're dating
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: a male per.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: Se is super super imperative because you know that's your
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: your every day who you're dating. Typically, that's who you
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: talk to nine times out of ten, that's where you're
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: calling nine times out of ten. And they have to
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: be at the same emotional have the same emotional capacity
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: that you have. Yes, because sometimes we find ourselves you're
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: gonna start pouring into another unhealed man, or he's going
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: to be pouring and you know, to you it could
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: go vice versa. But speaking from a woman's perspective, sometimes
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: we take on men that's not that's not hell, and
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: then we become their moms, We become their neuturers, We
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: become so many different things. And that's heavy. And imagine
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: trying to build an empire and then happening to if
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: you have children, cater to them and then cater to
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: the to the man as well. It's a lot.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: There's a lot you have children.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: I have a three year old son, three year old.
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: Son, And what is that like as a mom to
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: be building an empire? Being a mom? You know, because
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: I'm watching my sisters do it, and they, you know,
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: they're married, and because I don't think there's enough conversation
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: about people who are married and still feel like they
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: don't have help.
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: And I have no help because I'm here in y'all
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: list by myself.
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: You know, and you here doing this thing alone, building
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: an empire.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: It's challenging. And I just went to a conference last
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: week and this lady, she spoke volumes when she says,
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: sometimes you're gonna be a ce. People with degrees get
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: sees right. And sometimes when you're a mom, you're gonna
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: be You're gonna get get a sea one day, You're
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: gonna get a b maybe another day, and hold on
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: to those a moments. So sometimes you just say okay.
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you know, a mom, i'm building, maybe I have
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: to give my business at a today, but Will Hunter
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: might get a sea today, but he's okay. The necessities
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: are taken care of and you just have to do
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: the best that you can because parenting is hard. My
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: mom said, having kids is a different realm. I'm understanding
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: it now.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's tough. Yeah, And I'm glad that you're
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: speaking to the women's in what you're sharing, because you know,
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: we get on social media and we'll and a woman
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: would look at you because if they're following your social media,
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: I mean I go to your social media and I'm like, oh,
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: this girl's killing it. But we don't get to see
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: the hands and out of people daily practice. This is
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: why I say social media is not this is not you,
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: but it's not a real place.
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: Highlights.
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: It's highlights. And I'm so glad that you're talking about
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: grades or the grading scale for parenting because you won't
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: always be an A plus parent and that's okay.
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: And sometimes you might get a d You may not
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: want to say it, but you want to be a
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: deed sometimes and you still may pass.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: You know what. But nobody talks about sometime you will fail.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: Let me say this to you in the camera. Doesn't
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: mean that you are failure. Listen, you may fail, you
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: may get an f as a folks say, you may
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: get a flag as an old folks say in Mississippi,
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: baby he flaw. You may fail, But that doesn't mean
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: that you're a failure because there isn't a manual. There
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: isn't a booklet on parenting. And I don't know because
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: I'm not a parent. You know, I lost a child
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: in pregnancy, but I haven't had to raise a child.
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: But I'm saying this because I want to help those
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: that are trying to be what their parents weren't to them.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: And it's okay if you miss the mark in not
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: being everything to your child because the stress of just
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: the day to day. And here's the thing. I'm sitting
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: here with an very accomplished woman, and I can tell
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: that that's warfare for you. I can feel it. I
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: can feel the building and battling. That's a book, typle.
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: You need to write that book, by the way, seriously,
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: when you like, you need to write that book in
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: like the next five years. That is a gold mine,
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: building and battling. You need to tell a friend put
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: that in your notes. Building and battling trademark that that
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: is a book title, because how many people are up
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: there hammering but they're battling the wars that nobody sees.
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: They're writing a business plan, but they're battling what the
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: divorce did to them. You know what I'm saying. You're
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: building the career, but you're battling what the molestation did.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: You're building the business, but you're battling what the emotional
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: abuse did. That's a warfare. And then it's like I'm
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: building this building at twenty eight, but then I'm battling.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: Am I a good mom? Am I doing enough? As
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: a mother? I'm raising a young black boy? Am I
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: giving him everything? So I feel that way? And what
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: I'm hoping for you, as I was saying earlier, and
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: this is personal, and what I'm hoping for you, is
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: that respuites that you will find that the pocket that
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: today was enough, if you did nothing else, that today
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: was enough. And Kayla, I had to learn that because
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: I would close out my laptop from seeing clients and
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: my brain will still be working, like, Okay, did I
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: give them enough tools? And I had to get to
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: the point where say, once I close this laptop, that's it.
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: Once I get off this last call, close out this
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: zoom meeting, because the enemy don't get us because we
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: are successful. He gets us because it's the battles that
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: we are trying to manage in the midst of the success.
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: Would you agree, definitely agree. What do you feel like enough.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: Is for you? Ooh, that's a good question. For me.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: It's when I feel fulfilled that I did everything that
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: I could do for that day. And my focus is
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: always been where my feet are planted. My mother a
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: lover to the moon and back. She's a big tomorrow person,
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: big tomorrow person, and she's off and like what you're doing?
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: You know, well, I'm doing this it And I had
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: to learn that tomorrow gave me such anxiety, which caused
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: me to miss today and it robbed me so much.
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: When I was in my twenties, at twenty one, I
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: went bald. True story, I didn't get drafted, and the
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: stress of not getting drafted, not because I couldn't play,
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: because I wanted to show my father that I could
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: without them. I lost all of my hair. Now this
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: is my real hair. Me and Charlotmagne joke all the time.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: This is not a unit to good brothers. Again, blessings
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: to those who you know do it. But this is mine.
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: All this was gone gone stressed. I didn't even know it.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: And my barber like, I'm going to get a haircut.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: I'm just And this is how my lack of awareness
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: was just kind of like all I'm thinking, like, oh, sap,
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: this is just what happens. And my barber was like, nigga,
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: you're twenty two, why are you going ball Like he
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: was like, dude, what's going on? And again I didn't
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: know that I was stressed. I just knew I was
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: up at night worrying. And every time I went to
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: the mirror to brush my hair, it was just getting
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: thinner and thin and thinner. Wow. And I got robbed
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: from being so worried about tomorrow, next week, next month,
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: next year. I'm telling my dad, I was so anxious
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: about next week, like I'm telling you, like I used
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: to get so anxious about school because it was like
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: when a teacher said, oh, you have this doing three weeks,
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's shut. My nervous isn't down. I'm like, oh, shoot,
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: because I would go into the three weeks and I
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: wouldn't even get started.
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because it's too it's too.
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: So the procrastination. I was paralyzed. It's only a boy,
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: the procrastination, but I was paralyzed by the thought of
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: the three weeks. And in three weeks coming the lady
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: goes my teacher professor like, Jay, you had it. I
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: was like, Oh, it was just like I didn't have.
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: So I've learned that enough for me is that whatever
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: I can do in that time span, that's it. That's it,
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: nothing more. And also having a cutoff time. I watched
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: so many people in business, and I understand entrepreneurship because
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: I didn't work for anybody. Was in the grad school.
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: I had to do my internship. But so many entrepreneurs,
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: this whole twenty four to eight, this whole grind all day,
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: this overworked culture. Man, I'm not using like, I'm not
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: using toxic and all that. It's deadly. That's what I'm
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: gonna say. It will kill you. I literally just came
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: across a post. I don't know if you saw it.
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: There's a black one who had a business and they
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: were saying that she was working seven days a week
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: and she was running her business. Did you see that post?
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: I just came across it, and she was working seven
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: days a week, none stop, six seven days a week
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: and went home one night, went to sleep, to take
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: a nap to rest, and never woke up. Oh, And
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: I was reading the comments of just how exhausted people
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: were saying that they are trying not owing to run
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: a business, but doing business two different things. Because you
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: have the operations, and you have the marketing and advertising,
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: the management of people, the management of the system. It's
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: a lot, lot it's.
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: Too much sometimes. And I was just saying that yesterday,
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: and we're here trying to catch up on all my emails,
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: and I used AI a lot now too. I said,
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: should I send this email now because I think you
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: were gonna read it? And it said, actually, CEO's founders,
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: it's the perfect time to send emails on a Saturday
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: because they're more than likely to be the ones to
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: go through their email. And that just shows that we
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: don't rest at all, because we should be resting on
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: a Saturday, and we're more than likely to respond.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: On AI said that to you, WHOA.
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: And I pressend in every last one of those founders responded, Wow.
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: Now the executives for the companies for like everybody else,
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: they respond because they probably gonna respond on Monday, but
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: all of CEO's founders they responded on Saturday. It just
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: shows how overworked we are.
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: Wow. And AI told you that. That's just want pause
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: think about that. AI told you that.
• 43:00
  Speaker 3: M h.
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: And I'm not saying AI will take over, but the
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: effectiveness of AI is that it's going to outsmart us.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: And that's scary because I didn't even know that. And
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: now I'm finna go through all my emails and email
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: all these CEOs like man sending these chats, all of them,
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: c J. Let's let's get on next Saturday. Wee getting
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: up at six a m. And send out emails. Wow,
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: oh man, you got me stumbling now and not on
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: anything but just we're we're we're, we're exhausted. What do
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: you do for fun?
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: Drink a doctor pepper.
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: Literally, and that's and how often do you drink a doctor?
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: Have to have one? Once Aday Pham cuked with extra ice.
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: That's my happy place?
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: Really? Yeah, where did that begin?
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: Mm hmmm? Tied in Texas? Yeah, these don't cold to
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: drink a few years back.
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: You got to introduce it. Somebody introduce you to doctor Pepper.
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: I got off. Yeah, no, I just I don't know.
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: I just picked up on it one day. Nothing really interesting,
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: but yeah, I just found it as a happy place.
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: So they all know, go give me a doctor pepper.
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: I'm stressed.
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: Really hmmm, try.
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: The most unhealthiest thing, but hey, that's what works for me.
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, want to day, Yeah, like a large.
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: Coat, like a rap forty four from Sonic.
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: Big Boy. Yeah you big boy round forty four with
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: the with the with the slushy ice or big ice
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: cubes slushy ice. Okay, yeah yeah you big boy. Yeah,
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: and you have one of those a day. Come on, Okay, now.
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: I'm okay, don't no, no, no, I'm not.
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: I'm not, I'm not. I just want you to have
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: your kidness. By the time you're thirty, they're still functioning
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: just because the matter of sugar. That doctor pepper. Good God.
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: So anyway, what I'm hoping is that you find another
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: healthy place to be in besides a Route forty four
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: cup of doctor Pepper, which is nothing wrong with that,
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: but how often do you get outside and enjoy nature.
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: That doesn't happen. Why there's no time?
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: What do you mean it's on time, it's some time.
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: So you know you asked me the other day the
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: mentor you.
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: Right, what I asked for myself by exactly.
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you something. I'm gonna take you on,
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: but you're gonna have to listen, and not listen because
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you what's right, but listen because it's gonna
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: give you sustainability. You want what you're building at twenty eight.
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: You want to be around for it at fifty. Yeah,
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: you know what you know, and as much capacity as
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: you have, you have to use wisdom with it because
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: you can go, you can go again. I was, you know,
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: like when I was walking around in y'all building, I was,
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: I was. I'm gonna tell you what I was doing,
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: and Chris is probably gonna say, you know, I was
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: praying for you. You need it. You need a lot
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: of prayer and it's not bad, but just because you
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: need to support spiritually because you are a black woman
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: that's doing something that's never been done, you know, and
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: you don't need people to just girl, let me get
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: around you because you got do saying gabana on and
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: you got the newest bag, and you've got all these things.
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: You need somebody people around you that understand the weight
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: of what you're carrying is also heavy and burdensome. And
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: it's not just hopping in the whip and hopping out
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: the cars and all that different type of stuff. Because
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: see that stuff looks fun, but nobody knows when you
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: got to go home and start looking at these numbers,
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: and you done paid for these people to do some work,
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: and now all of a sudden you realize they started,
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: but they didn't finish. They ran off with the bread.
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: Now then to put you in the hole. And now
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: you in the hole, you trying to figure out how
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: do we get this to pay this person? And once
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: we get this paid, then we got to come back
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: over here. And I feel all of that. When I
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: was talking to you a friend the other day, I
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: had to get out of there because again I don't like,
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: I don't intrude, but I was praying, and in that
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: moment I felt led to just kind of pour into
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: you and even the things that I shared, like I
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: just like I just met you for like ten minutes
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: in a green room and then Vee was like, hey,
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: I want you to interview Kaylor And when she said that,
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: When she said that, I was just like, Okay, yeah, absolutely,
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: And I said, well, what's her story? She said, well,
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: I'll let her tell you. I said, well, you know what,
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: don't tell me. You know, because everybody that God brings
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: up my space to put on this podcast, I know
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: it is a reason for them to be here because
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: there's something that God wants to heal through them, but
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: also heal the people that are watching. Because what I
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: love about this is that people get to see this
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: in real time because most sisters, like yourself never get
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: to space. It's just you know what, I noticed, you
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: have been taking more breaths since you've been sitting in
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: that chair than you did in the green room when
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: you was in the green room. Again, because I'm an observant,
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: this is you the whole time, and I can tell
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: that that was just like it's business as usual, but
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: also it's like it's like, you know, it's aints and
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: I'm not saying this, you know, from a place of arrogance,
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: but when people come in my pain, my presence, it's
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: peaceful and you're taking a breath because oh gosh, this
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: is You're taking these breaths because you don't know when
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: you'll get the opportunity to take them again.
• 50:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: So my challenge to you is, as you continue on
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: this journey building businesses and creating opportunities for people and
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: given and giving and giving, I want to challenge you
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: to turn your poor inward. And you may not know
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: what that looks like now, but take time to just exhale.
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: When I think about the movie Waiting to exhale, listen
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: to that waiting to exhale. If you're waiting excel, you'll
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: be dead Artinsai Blise dead. So I want you to
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: wait until you feel like you arrived at a place
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: where you can finally because it may be too late.
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: I love you said that because I've everyone says take
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: a breath break. You said rest and say rest like
• 51:14
  Speaker 2: it's okay to rest, and I'm like, no, when I'm forty,
• 51:16
  Speaker 2: I rest. That's what I just keep saying. I said
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: what I'm forty like.
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: You No, no, no young to risk no because you
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: because you won't make it to forty and your rest
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: will be your final one. Bu talk. And when I
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: say rest, I'm not just saying sleep. Some things like
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: this whole podcast thing. Again, this is a testimony for me.
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: All of this came about because I rested Charlomagne and
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: his team reached out. My mentor had told me the
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: same thing i'm telling you. Last December, I took six
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: I had vertigo from traveling and my body was compromised.
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: I'm actually interviewing doctor Jill later today and she was
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: looking at my blood work. Man, everything was out of
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: whack because I was hopping on stage, off the stage
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: and pouring into black men and pouring into black boys.
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: And then I will get off stage and come home.
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: Instead of wresting. I'm seeing clients virtually, so my poor
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: was never off. It was never off, and then I
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: ain't have nobody pouring back in the meeting. I'm dating
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: a young lady, sweet, but she didn't know. She didn't know.
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: She just kind of like, hey, you know, you're doing
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: a great job. And sometimes for people who carry heavy mantle,
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: we don't need applause. In fact, they put your hands
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: up and start praying instead of doing this. Do this.
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: That's what we need. But people who are enamored with
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: us at times don't know because they like, man, you
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: doing a Kayla girl, you doing and not realizing you
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: need a place where you can just say, man, I'm
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: dying and as much as I am trying to succeed,
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: I'm failing, and that's what I want for you. And
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: not realizing my mentor. She says, Jay, you've done enough
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: in the mental health space. Let it work for you.
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: And Charlomagnetine called me, wow, and they said, hey, let's
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: start putting this deal together for the podcast. I said, Okay,
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: things just started happening. I ain't had to call nobody,
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: I ain't had to go search nobody, i ain't had
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: to call the publicy. It just started working for me.
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: And I'm gonna go biblical because this is my platform
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: because part of the promise to Joshua that God gave
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: Joshua was rest. Rest was a part of the promise.
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: It wasn't just the promised land, it was also rest
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: because could you imagine how tired them folks was are
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: walking around in the wilderness for forty years. That's why
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: I imagine, I said, when I'm looking at the real time,
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: said these Nigro was crazy. Everybody was like your mental capacity,
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: your mental ability to decide and make logical, it's gone
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: it's hot, you're getting mantled at night, you trying to
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: figure out, you laying down, you uncomfortable, and all this
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: type of stuff. And then this man said, come on,
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: follow me, and you like, man whatever, But God want
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: us to rest. That way what we have built would
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: begin to work for us. And it's like I said,
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: a good sword, because you were there when you put
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: the seed in the ground. You can't go back to
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: the ground and keep digging it up. You gotta let
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: to see rest in the ground. And it needs its process.
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: And so there are some things that you're building that
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: you probably can say, you know what, I can take
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: my hands off of this for now, and you touch
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: something else and it gives you a moment to breed
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: and it's and it's not juggling. It's understanding seasons. Does
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: that Does that make sense? It's understanding seasons because some
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: season will require you to toil. In some season you say, hey, friend,
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: we're gonna pull off on this right now. And that
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: way there's a sequence that when this is working, that
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: is coming behind that, you know what I mean. And
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: you build a system for yourself, and you always build
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: a system for your rest, because if you're not here.
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: What happened to blueprint? Because you're the brains and nobody's
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: talking about Black women are having strokes at a higher
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: rate and not because they're unhealthy.
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: Stress.
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: Say that again. Stress, it's stress. Its stress.
• 56:21
  Speaker 2: I found myself in the hospital earlier this year. Stress
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: can they can't find out nothing that's wrong. I went
• 56:29
  Speaker 2: in for abdominal pain and I ended up being septic,
• 56:34
  Speaker 2: so I'd stay in a couple of days. But it
• 56:37
  Speaker 2: probably all rooted for stress. It's just stress.
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah. That's my prayer for you, is that God send
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: the right people to support what you're doing, and rest
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: is included in what you're building. As much as I
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: love the title building and battling, but I don't want
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: you to always be battling, and I don't always want
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: you to be building because you already made it. I mean,
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: you're twenty I'm telling I'm just I'm like you had
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: a suicide temp at nineteen, bankruptc at twenty one, getting
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: ready to open up this huge center at twenty eight.
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: It's a lot, But I want you to know, as
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: a black man, I see you for who you are,
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: not for what you've done, but just for who you are.
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: Thank you, And I hope you begin to see yourself
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: more and that way you don't have to feel like
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: you have to keep working to be seen because there's
• 57:44
  Speaker 1: a lot of young girls and a lot of women.
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: Healing is attached not to your success, but to your process.
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: It's a long process.
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: That's okay, Okay, okay. The blessings is in the process.
• 58:03
  Speaker 2: It is. That's what I love so much about this journey.
• 58:07
  Speaker 2: And even when you know we talk about healing, I'm
• 58:13
  Speaker 2: just now starting to relate to the different traumatic experiences
• 58:17
  Speaker 2: you know, we may have been through and it makes
• 58:21
  Speaker 2: us who we are today. And I'm trying to just
• 58:25
  Speaker 2: be okay with every Like you said, everything is a
• 58:28
  Speaker 2: season and we just have to know when to deal
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: with Yeah.
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: Last question, what does healing? What is that for you?
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: What is healing for you?
• 58:41
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm, I would say helious. I always say healing
• 58:50
  Speaker 2: while hustling is just being okay to talk about it.
• 58:58
  Speaker 2: There are certain things that I've been through that I
• 59:00
  Speaker 2: know I can't talk about yet, but I know I've
• 59:03
  Speaker 2: healed from it once I can talk about it. So
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: like you know, you know, childhood, milestation we can talk about.
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: We can talk about suicide. We can talk about certain things,
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: but it's okay to feel and it's okay to just
• 59:25
  Speaker 2: just be okay with with you because these experiences make
• 59:30
  Speaker 2: us who we are and where is life. We're gonna
• 59:34
  Speaker 2: go through some challenges, but don't live and sit in
• 59:37
  Speaker 2: it forever. Just be okay. I know that's your path.
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: I love that. I love this, I love it. Well, guys,
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna take a deep breath because this interview was
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: very powerful, very vulnerable, and it was very real. It's
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: a word that I'm thinking about. It's very real, and
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: I'm grateful for Kayla just being here, being open and
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: allowing me to share and the pourtant to her. And
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: you're seeing a woman who is a phenomenal businesswoman, but
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: you're also seeing a woman who is yet on her journey.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: And you may be there, you may be at a
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: place where you are building and battling. But if you
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: get nothing else out of this, I encourage you to rest,
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: because if you're trying to build and you're trying to battle,
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: you want to exhaust yourself. And if you want stability
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: and you want longevity and you want to be able
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: to really live in what you're building. You got to
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 1: give yourself an opportunity to rest. Thank you, Kayla. I
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: speak blessings over your business. I know it's gonna be well.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: And you asked me to mentor you, so I'm gonna
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: say yes on on on this podcast. So you know
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: what I mean. So we're gonna get youresting. You're gonna
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: keep making money, but babe, we're gonna get you theresting.
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: We can get you arresting. So go follow Kayla. Kayla
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: Sharie the blueprint university, amazing business model that is connecting
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: Fortune five hundred companies to small business owners. They help
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: with funding. I mean, she is brilliant and uh and
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 1: I encourage you to not only this is not about supporting,
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: but go there because she's a big on educating. She's
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: a big educator on business. And so again, remember healing
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 1: is a journey and wholeness is the destination. And until
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: next time, I will see you. I am doctor J.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: And this is another episode of Just Here with Doctor J.