Latest / INSPIRE STORY / #0153-Blankets, Bug Chasers & Other Wild Stories

Transcript

#0153-Blankets, Bug Chasers & Other Wild Stories · INSPIRE STORY

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. I
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: am Tim Dillon, comedian, member of the media, and the
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: father of Candace Owens' child. And I did not announce
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: that when she was on, but I feel like it's
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: time to come clean with you and let you know
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: that the child that Candace Owens will be having is mine! Ha! Ben,
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: by the way, a lot of people, not really, four,
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: were angry about Candace coming on the show. And they said,
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: I didn't push back enough, which I did. But you
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: know who did no pushback?
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: Ben.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Ben said nothing the entire interview. He wasn't even on screen.
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: Okay? Okay. And I don't platform anyone. He runs the tech.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: He chose to platform Candace Owens and say nothing. Not
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: one rebuttal. I thought he booked Megan Thee Stallion. I
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: was shocked that Candace Owens was on the show. I apologize.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: It was very tough to hear for many people. My aunt,
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: who is a liberal... Heard the episode And you know
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: what she did?
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: What? Shot herself.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: She shot herself in the face After she heard the
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: episode And I feel So what was that thing on
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: the Legion of Skanks subreddit You read about my stepmother.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: Oh, supposedly.
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: It's like folklore on that subreddit that someone showed up
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: to your stepmother's house and said, hi, I'm a fan
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: of Tim Dillon.
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: And she got really mad. And what do they get
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: for that clout?
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: I think that's clout, yeah.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: Hey, if you want that's clout, saying I'm a fan
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: of Tim Dillon. If you want clout, kill her. You
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: want real clout?
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: Kill her. I'm kidding. It's the holidays.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: It's the holidays in LA and the decorations are out
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: and you can't see them.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: And if you try to see them, you'll be in jail.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: I don't know why we've even put the decorations up
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: this year.
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: Let's skip it. Let's skip it.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: If you drive down Sunset Boulevard in West Hollywood, there
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: are actually decorations and no people.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: It is such a haunting scene.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: And then there's all these lines of COVID tests. Everybody's
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: getting tested for COVID in their car. It looks like
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: in and out, but everybody's getting a Q-tip up the
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: nose to see if they have SARS-CoV-2, the coronavirus. What
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: a shitty way to spend a day.
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: You know? I was watching that Comedy Store documentary. the
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: other day on Showtime.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: And there are parts of it that are well done.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: And then there are parts of it where you go, huh.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: So the episode I watched last night, they get Whitney, Rogan, Burr, Leno,
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: Annie Letterman, and they all take COVID tests. They all
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: have masks on and they take COVID tests. And then
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: they sit down. And Mike Binder, who did the documentary,
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: by the way, it's like about him.
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: Think about him. What's going on?
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: He's like, yeah, it's mostly about my journey with splashes
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: of kinesin here and there. A little prior, but more me.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: They're all sitting outside, and I'm not bitter that I'm
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: not in it. I've seen it now. Now I'm like,
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: kind of like that I'm not in it, but I
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: got passed into comedy.
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: Don't be nervous.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: I got passed into comedy. I don't care if I
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: ever do this again for a living. I truly don't.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: I truly, truly don't. I truly don't. I, um.
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: I was passed at the comedy store about, which I love.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: I love the store.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: I was passed like a few weeks after this happened,
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: you know, after the whole thing was shot with the
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: majority of it.
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: But they shot a scene where everybody gets COVID tested.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: So apparently it's in the midst of a pandemic. And
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: then Mike Binder looks at everybody and goes, what's going
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: on with PC culture?
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, what in the fuck are you talking about?
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: The biggest event, a seismic event, an asteroid that hit
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: live performance harder than anything. This guy's going, what do
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: you think about PC culture?
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: And then there's comedians.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: By the way, everyone in that documentary is like 75.
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: I got to be honest. I got to be honest.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: You start looking around, you're going, I don't know, does
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: it feel that hot? Stand-up don't feel that hot right now.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: It's like it's all like elderly people telling you, well,
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: when I was a youth, Richard Pryor, it's like it's
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: not it. And I love stand-up, and I love doing it,
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: and I'll keep doing it. But part of the reason
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: why I like it is it is a dead art, okay?
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: And that documentary, I mean, Christ. It's just, it's a museum.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: It's a mausoleum in there. I mean, it's a mausoleum.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: I mean, I was watching it with a friend who's
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: a fan of everybody and they're like, here's the question.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: I love comedy and comics are more talented inherently than
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: TikTok people. But is a documentary about the TikTok kids
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: more interesting?
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: Yes. And I like that you didn't hesitate.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: Is a documentary about the kids on TikTok more interesting
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: than somebody being like, it's just a joke. No one
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: cares about PC. Guys, it's not even real. I had
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: Candace on. People were mad at me, but nobody's trying
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: to cancel me.
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: It's over. No one cares.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: And it's still like this narrative that people keep bringing up.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: It makes stand-ups look weak. You look weak when you whine.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Just say it and step back. When I was fighting
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: with people on Twitter about the Candace Owens thing, I
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: was fighting because I had a point. I had a
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: point and they had a point. Whatever their point was,
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: whatever my point was. But I don't care that you're mad.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: I knew you were going to be mad when we
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: had her on the show. That's part of the fun.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: You see?
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: You see?
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: I'm not bringing on a history teacher who no one
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: knows or cares about. I'm bringing on a woman who's
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: going to ruffle a few feathers. So this whining week piece,
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: it's just got, it's every podcast has been about this
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: and only this.
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: So I watched it for a few minutes and then
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: I had to turn that off. It's a joke. Got
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: Jay Leno up there being like, it's a joke. What
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: are we doing? What's going on here? Who cares? I
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: don't care. Enough with the legends. Enough with the legends.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: Don't you want to kill these people? Do these people die?
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: Do they ever go away? Half of these motherfuckers have
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: not been funny in forever. Forever.
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: Forever.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: And we all have to sit there like they're fucking Christ.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: They climb down off the cross and we got to
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: wash their feet. And it's enough is enough already. And
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: I respect them. And, you know, I respect the roads
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: they paved so that I may have to drive down them.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: But we got to be funny here. Doesn't everyone remember that?
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: We got to be a little funny. We can't just
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: sit around on a trillion dollars. They should make chairs
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: made of money when they ask these people to pay.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: They should have to sit in a chair of money
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: and go.
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: Get the PC culture!
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: They should have to take the money out of their
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: bank and make a couch of it. And we're making money.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: We're not shitting on people that make money. But it's
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: like it's a pandemic. There's all this shit to talk about.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: Nobody cares about PC culture. Nobody gives a shit.
• 8:45
  Speaker 5: Enough.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: Pipe down. Go down to the Comedy Magic Club. Tell
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: everybody that. The PC culture. You can wade through an
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: anti-mask protest on the way in there, down in Hermosa Beach.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: The LA lockdown's confusing because you're not supposed to leave
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: your house, but the McRib is back.
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: It's odd. It's a strange thing.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: Go down and let's see what we can do and
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: what we can't do because I don't even know. Non-essential
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: travel of any kind is banned. That word essential is
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: a very subjective word. Closure of all on-site restaurants, though
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: takeout delivery remains open. Personal services, hair salons, barbershops are closed.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: Essential retail open. Okay. Okay. Parks and beaches remain open
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: for activities but no gatherings. Go alone. Schools following protocols
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: can remain open if they have a state waiver. People
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: are like, the lockdown's not going to do enough. It's
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: not severe enough. What do you want, the tanks in
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: the street? So there are several exemptions. Faith-based outdoor services
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: and the homeless.
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: I don't even know what that means. By the way,
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: this is not the new studio. The new studio is
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: being built.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: Yes. It's going to be very exciting. You're going to
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: love it. It's going to be great. This made me
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: laugh the other day.
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: Get this up.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: Josh Richards, who's a TikTok kid, we like because he's industrious,
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: is handing out blankets to the homeless. And I think
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: he's an investor in the blanket company where he's handing
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: out blankets to the homeless.
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: And that's kind of funny.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: Can we play this?
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: I mean, I don't think we can. Can we?
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: Without volume, I think we can, because there's probably music
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: in this.
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: See, we have a plan. Everyone says LA doesn't have
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: a plan. It's right here.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: I think Gavin Newsom's doing a great job. What's the
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: plan right here? The TikTok kids are giving blankets to
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: the homeless people. Is that not a plan? I think
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: it's great. Now, go find out if he owns, I
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: think he owns a part of the blanket company. I
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: think he said on his Twitter, which is great, because
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: as you're giving the blankets to the homeless, you're kind
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: of also selling them and going, hey, if you scratch
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: a few dollars together, you might want to think about
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: purchasing one of these. You might want to think about
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: Might want to think about getting involved. But this seems
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: like a great point. Remember when I joked around? This
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: is why I should never joke, because everything I say
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: comes true. Remember when I said this was months ago,
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: that if you were fucked during this economy, you couldn't
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: rely on the government, you had to hope that David
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: Dobrik shot you with a potato gun? or that Jeffree
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: star decided to put $ 5, 000 in your account on Venmo.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: Remember when I said that you were only going to
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: be relying on influencers. I said that, and I said,
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: it is a bit, it is now a reality. If
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: you are homeless in Los Angeles, hopefully your needs dovetail
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: with an influencers publicity campaign. Hopefully you get chosen to
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: be one of the people handed out a product that
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: That's all you got now.
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: Good luck.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: Good luck getting anybody else interested. These guys are walking
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: around handing out. He goes like this. This is like
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: the funniest. I mean, I just folks got to laugh.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: And this kid, like, I don't hate the kid at all,
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: but I would do shit. Like, like if I was him,
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to be him.
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: But if I was him, I would do shit like this.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: He's like, he goes, I am pleased to announce that
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: I am joining Unhide, whatever that means, as co-creative director,
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: as an investor, and a partner in the company I
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: believe will change the world. I hope through my actions
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: I can inspire Generation Z to take on the issue
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: of animal efficacy, right? And join me in my mission
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: to create a national conversation about it. So what is that,
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: the blanket company?
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I believe so.
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: And what is the blanket company?
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: So I think they don't use animal fur, like they don't.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: Well, that's what the homeless are concerned about. Here's a blanket,
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: and there were no animals made. The homeless were like,
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: can you get some animals and cook them and bring
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: them to me? Oh, folks, folks, it doesn't get better
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: than this, huh? This is Ellen DeGeneres' faux fur brand.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: This is Ellen DeGeneres' faux fur brand. So you know
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: what it is. It is not made out of animal products.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: It's made from the hair of her interns. which she
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: plucks out one by one when they're late. So Ellen DeGeneres, who's,
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: as we've covered, runs an Abu Ghraib-style torture prison at
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: her show, is now making blankets out of her intern's
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: body hair, which are being handed out to homeless people
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: by Josh Richards and the TikTok kids. That's what I'm hearing.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: And I'm for it. I'm not against any part of it.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: Every mechanism there, I think, is working the way it
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: should work. If I was homeless and I saw two
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: kids in beanies, cool little young kids come up to me,
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: and gave me a blanket, and they said, by the way,
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: this is no animals used, and hey, here's a gift
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: from Ellen. I'd say, thank you. Here's a gift from Ellen.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: So that's the L.A. homelessness thing here. Don't worry about it.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: I hope everybody is as excited about this as I
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: am in this city, this rapidly crumbling metropolis.
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• 18:22
  Speaker 3: So important. So I watched this show on Netflix the
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: other day, Nate.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: It's a one-woman show by Natalie Palmitas, who's a very
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: talented comedian. I didn't go through the whole show, so
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: I don't want to comment on the show. Some people
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: will love it. Some people won't. It's a one-woman show.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: She's dressed up there as her character, Nate, and the
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: whole show is about consent. This is what I was confused.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: There's like a scene where she's got a mannequin on
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: the floor, and it's about toxic masculinity, the whole show.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: By the way, every man I know, every straight man
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: I know is like weeping openly. Where is this toxic masculinity?
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: I'd like to see more of it. You know who
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: has a lot of toxic masculinity recently?
• 19:10
  Speaker 5: Women.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: They're tough as nails. But men are like openly weeping.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: Every straight friend I have cries all the time. Yes,
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: it's because I'm always telling them how horrible they are
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: at everything. But who's going to do.
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: That if not me?
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: So this, Nate, is about toxic masculinity, about men running
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: around and being toxic and just raping and pillaging essentially.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: And there's a scene where there's a mannequin on the
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: floor and Nate, the character, goes, I don't know what
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: to do.
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: What should I do with the mannequin on the floor?
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: Is looking at someone, I know that there are rapists
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: and I know that there's fratricides boy douche bag I'm
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: not the guy that doesn't believe any of that but
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: who is looking at someone on the floor and going
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: there's a gray area here I don't understand I watched
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: someone have a heart attack once in a diner. I
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: got up and left. I said goodbye.
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: I was out.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: Who was looking at someone on the floor? And I
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: didn't go to a four-year college, and I know things
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: go on there. People drink, whatever. But it seems like,
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: you know, it's like, oh, there's a lot of gray
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: area out there. There is, but there's also not. There's
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: a lot of black and white areas of, like, don't
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: rape people. There's a point in the show that's a
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: little culty where she's like, ask, ask. And the audience
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: is like, ask, ask. I'm just confused. Clearly a talented woman.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: I'm just confused about the issue here of consent. I'm
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: confused about it. Apparently there's much more of a gray
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: area than I had originally imagined. I thought that If
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: someone is too drunk to have sex with you, do
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: not have sex with them. If someone is passed out
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: on the floor, certainly do not have sex with them.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: Give them a blanket. Give them a blanket that Ellen
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: DeGeneres made, but don't have sex with them.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: So I'm just confused, but again, people are going to
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: get mad at me. They're going to be like, you
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: don't understand the rape that goes on.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: Everyone is raped at every minute of their lives.
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: You fat fuck. Just because you don't get raped doesn't mean...
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry I've never been raped.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: You got to apologize to people now that you haven't
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: been raped and that you're not dead of COVID.
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: Every day, you should be dead. The choices you've made
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: in your life.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry I'm not dead of COVID and I'm sorry
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: I haven't been raped. I hope they happen at the
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: same time so you can all have an I told
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: you so festival somewhere.
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: You have to apologize for just being alive.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: And it's just such a nice way to call you
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: a fat fuck when people call you, you better watch
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: out about this. People call you, they go, you got
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: to be careful. You have to be real. You have
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: to be careful. You have to be very careful. You
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: look at you. If people are calling you and telling
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: you to be careful, you look like shit. That's just
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: the reality. If people are really calling you concerned about COVID,
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: you look like shit.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: That's just a great way to know. And just know it.
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: Just be aware.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: I've had fat friends. I was talking to Ray this morning.
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: I've had fat friends that had no idea they were fat.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: There was a girl in the store the other day,
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: and they're like, she's walking around lashing a polo outlet.
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: She's loud. She's like getting everyone to help her and
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: find things.
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: If you're a fat person in a clothing store, you
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: should treat it like a heroin addict who just got
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: out of prison.
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: Keep your head down, walk around quietly, and get out
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: of there.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: Go in, try a few things on quietly, and then go, oh,
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: none of them fit, and then leave, and then go
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: sit in your car and eat Chick-fil-A. Don't be like
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: the queen of the store. Be like, get me, fuck,
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: all right, death and die. So when someone calls her
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: up and goes, you got to watch out for COVID,
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: she goes.
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: What do you mean? But that's a great way.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: If you don't know how you look, how concerned have
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: people been about you getting COVID?
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: If people call you up.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: And they're like, I don't think you should leave your house,
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: even to take, Hey, even to take a walk, put
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: that mask on, even to take a walk, put that
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: mask on because you know, you have to be very careful.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: You have to be very good. It's just another way
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: of telling someone we are shocked. You're not dead already.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: We are so surprised.
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: You're not dead.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: Every time you post on social media, We imagine that
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: it's a memorial page.
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: It's an in memoriam. We can't imagine it's actually you.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: We can't imagine there's a disease out there that hasn't
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: killed you. That's how people are acting right now. How
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: was your family in Texas with doing with COVID?
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: Has anyone had it? Does anyone you know have it?
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: Not yet. Well, my uncle had it actually.
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: I forgot. How did he do?
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: He's okay.
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: He's powering through. Just a mild case. He got it
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: at the school. Where he coaches, you know?
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: I think I had it in March. I had, you know,
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: and I know everybody says this. This is a constant refrain.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: But in March, I was sicker than I had ever been. Right?
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, for like four weeks.
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: I was so sick. I was coughing. I had a fever.
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: I was waking up in the middle of the night. Shivers.
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: The whole thing. And then I.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: You know, it took me three or four weeks to
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: get my strength back and to feel that I was back.
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: It kicked my ass.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: So I am convinced that that was something. Maybe COVID.
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: I know a young, healthy dude who's now gotten it twice.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: Oh, really?
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I'm wondering if the antibody tests are wrong or, like,
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: maybe he never had it the first time.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: Maybe there was a false positive.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: Mm-hmm. Or you're just people getting it twice. Supposedly the
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: second case you get is supposed to be mild.
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: That's nice.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: It's supposed to be a mild case. And then McDonald's,
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: who at McDonald's goes, let's bring back the McRib during
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: a pandemic? What sick executive goes, you know what? You
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: know what this country needs? How many people died yesterday?
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: You know what this country needs? Let's bring back the McRib.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: what the McRib is because the McRib when I was
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: a kid was legendary.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: Do you mean what's actually in it or what McDonald's?
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: Well, what it is.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: It's a fake riblet pork patty drenched in barbecue sauce.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: I mean, the original McRib was iconic, but I don't
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: know if they're doing the original McRib.
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: Let's read the wiki. Let's go over there to the right.
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: Oh, right here.
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, to the right.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: The McRib is a barbecue-flavored pork sandwich periodically sold by
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: the international fast food restaurant chain McDonald's. You could just
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: say McDonald's. It was first introduced in 1981. Wow. Four
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: years before I was born. After poor sales, it was
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: removed in 1985, the year I was born. Ingredients, McRib
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: pork patty, home-style roll, McRib sauce, pickled slices, slivered onions,
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: 22 grams of fat, 240 calories of energy from fat. Okay.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: That's good, so you're able to turn the key to
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: start your car. And then 500 calories. It doesn't seem
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: that bad, Ben. Is it that unhealthy?
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: I don't think 500 calories is that much.
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: It sounds fine.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. Maybe I was hasty in judging the good
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: people at McDonald's. But we're going to go get one
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: after the show just to try it out, just to
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: see what's going on with it. See how many people
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: are out during the lockdown. Imagine the cops knocking on
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: our door like, what are you doing? We're going to
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: get the McRib.
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: Let him go.
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: Are they arresting people? Supposedly they're arresting people now for
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: knowingly spreading COVID. If you knowingly spread COVID, you are
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: going to be arrested. Are there COVID bug chasers? Like,
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: you know, there's bug chasers where people want to get HIV.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: Are there people that just want coronavirus?
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: They're like, I need it. I need to get COVID.
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: Just going to Walmart and walking around.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: There are bug chasers, people that want to get HIV.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: And you've watched documentaries about this. Why do they want
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: to do it?
• 27:51
  Speaker 4: I mean, it's clearly like a self-destructive thing, right? So they,
• 27:55
  Speaker 4: I think it's truckers mostly.
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: Truckers is like, yeah. Want to get HIV.
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: I think so.
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: Truckers.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: They don't have enough problems. Self-driving cars, Elon Musk. They
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: just want to get AIDS. That's how bad it is.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: The truckers want to get AIDS because job security in
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: this country is so.
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: Is that really who it is, truckers?
• 28:17
  Speaker 4: I imagine it's like glory hole guys at truck stop bathrooms.
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: You know, they pick up prostitutes and stuff.
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: On the road. It gets lonely.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: Ben's imagination is so dark and troubling, even to me.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: that asking him to even just a simple question, he
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: goes down a very dreary and disturbing, and he's creating
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: this reality where he's just lonely truckers on the road
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: at glory halls that just.
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: Want, and now why do they want AIDS? I don't understand.
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: I get lonely, I get trucker, I get glory hall.
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: I don't get AIDS.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: I guess you just want to die, right?
• 28:53
  Speaker 4: It's like this sick, like people were like, I'm a
• 28:56
  Speaker 4: piss pig, like piss all over me and shit all
• 28:58
  Speaker 4: over me. Like, yeah, give me, Give me all your
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: diseases that you have. I'm a piece of shit.
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: You know? Who's... Are those the truckers as well that
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: are getting pissed shit on?
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: Some of them are piss pigs and, you know. Now,
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: what is a piss pig?
• 29:12
  Speaker 4: Someone who wants you to piss on them, piss in
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: their mouth. They want to drink piss. You know, they
• 29:16
  Speaker 4: want to feel really healthy.
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: I feel like my attitude about drinking piss.
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: That's always been.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: Situational, where it's like, I feel like if it's appropriate
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: to do at the time, you might want to taste
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: a little bit, but then probably spit it out.
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: You're open to it.
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: Interesting.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: Well, if someone is hot enough, if someone is good-looking enough,
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: they can get you to do whatever they want.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: Someone is good looking enough they could get me to
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: go to a holiday with my family it's true you
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: know what so I think that if somebody's really good
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: looking says piss in my I will go to piss
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: in your mouth you have to say okay no shit
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: is a different story Yes. A really good-looking person says,
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: I want to shit on you. That is probably disturbing.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: Because then you tell all your friends, like, oh, I
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: fucked this person.
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: They're really hot.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: And then they go, well, yeah, how was it? And
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: you go, well, I got shit on. And then it
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: ruins the story, I would imagine, right? It ruins the story.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: People are more intrigued. It's odd how sexuality develops. It's
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: very strange. I always thought I might not be gay
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: if women were more intelligent.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: Is that true?
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: I always believed that. So if women had a little
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: bit more up here, I would probably fuck them. That's
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: a joke. We have many female fans, and that's an
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: ironic joke because people expect my audience to be full
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: of misogynists, and it's not. It's full of sensitive, crying
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: men and lovely women. And that's what we, we have
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: more women all the time.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: All the time.
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: All the time they're rolling in here, these ladies.
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: The couples watch together.
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: The couples watch together. Isn't that nice? And as soon
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: as quarantine ends, we know what happens to those relationships.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: Pow!
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: Maybe not. Are you afraid of your wife leaving you
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: after quarantine?
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: We're both working as normal, so kind of unaffected.
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: Well, I don't know.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: Maybe me and Whitney Cummings will no longer be married
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: after quarantine. She threw a Friendsgiving.
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: What a horror.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: You know, and I respect her, but she threw a
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: horrible event at her home, and I was doing a Friendsgiving.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: So Whitney then decided to do a Friendsgiving an hour
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: after me.
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: That's nice.
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: Dan Carney's in the hospital. He just transitioned. No, he
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: had a minor hip surgery.
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: He'll be fine. Um, what is that on your Instagram? Yeah.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: I'm going to yours.
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: Find that picture of Whitney's decor.
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: It was, it was grotesque.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: So she has all these influencers over her house and I,
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: you know, some of them are nice. Olivia Munn, whatever.
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: And you got Amanda Cerny. I don't know who she
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: is and I don't care. Uh, and then you have
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: the Kesha's and all these people. Look how much autumn
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: is at that table. It was grotesque. It's I love
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: Whitney is very successful, but this is target. This is
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: Walmart shit.
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: Which is fine. If you are at that place in
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: your life, Look how orange it is. It's too much.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: It's too drenched in it. That's a plastic fork, too.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: It's a plastic fork. Whitney also is too much of
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: a dude to give a dinner party. The great socialites,
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: the great women of our time, rich women who know
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: how to give a party, there's a vibe to be created.
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: Whitney's a guy.
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: She's a dude. She's a successful dude.
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: There's one black guy at the table and she starts
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: haranguing him about where he pays taxes. It was the
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: most uncomfortable thing anyone had ever seen.
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: She goes, why do you pay taxes? I go, you
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: can't ask that.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: We're eating vegan stuffing that tastes like a shoe and
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: she's yelling at a black about his taxes.
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: And she doesn't mean it, but.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: She's trying to have a conversation about state taxes, but
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: it just looks bad if you have one black guy
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: there and you go, what are your financials? What's your
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: credit score? It was very strange. Now, I had to cancel.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: I canceled my Friendsgiving because we were going to do it.
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: We were going to have a lot of people. And
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: then the whole thing just became insane. And it's like,
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: you know what? It's too much of a problem now.
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: You have 50 people in masks. Who wants that, right?
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: Somebody could test positive. I got to call 50 people
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: the next day and go, hey, thanks for coming. By
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: the way, see a doctor. And I was going to
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: do a theme like a Tuscan winter wonderland because I'm
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: a classy bitch. Tuscan winter wonderland. Italian food, which is
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: tough to pull off. She went full autumn.
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: Gross.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: I mean, the color of the bowls. I mean, just grotesque.
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: And I love Whitney, and it's great, and I appreciate
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: everything she's done for me. She's given me a lot
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: of furniture for my home, which I paid her for,
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: but that's still nice because it's less than it would
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: have cost me to purchase by a lot. So I
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: appreciate her and her friendship, but this is not how
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: to give an event.
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: It's not how to do a party. It really wasn't.
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: It was very odd.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: But I felt like it was very rushed. It was
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: something I was going to do. And then she was like, oh,
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: I want to do it now too. And the chef
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: was okay. The chef was hot. The chef like has
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: like saddle leather boots on and like long hair. And
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: it's like, oh, enough. A chef should look like Raymond Kump.
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: And by the way, these shirts that we have on,
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: I am a wine princess bitch, our new Ray Kump merch.
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: Model it.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: I am a wine princess bitch. This is Ray Kump merch.
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: Get the link up where you can get these. Uh,
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: Ray Kump was arrested outside of Miley Cyrus' house in Tennessee.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: All of these shirts go to his legal defense fund.
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: It's very important that Ray have an adequate defense against
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: Cyrus and her lying family. By the way, Noah Cyrus,
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: her sister, called Candace Owens a nappy-headed hoe. Right.
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: Saw that on her story.
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: Not cool, Noah. There it is.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: This is a picture of a wine bottle holding a machete.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: Ray is an artist.
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: I mean, this is art.
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: He drew this, right?
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: He drew this.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: And this is I'm a Wine Princess Bitch shirt that
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: you can get at the Ray Kump store. Bonfire.com store
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: slash Kump.
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: Right? Yeah, yeah.
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: Bonfire.com slash store slash Kump. It's on his Twitter.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's on his Twitter. And it's a great shirt.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: It's great for the holidays. It's great to just give
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: the family, you know? I don't know, but it is phenomenal.
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: But I'm disappointed now that we're in a lockdown again
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: and we can't have the party. It was going to
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: be a fun party, you know? We talked about it
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: many times on the show. We can't do it. We
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: just have to do it, you know, another time now,
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: which is sad, you know? But what are you going
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: to do? But Whitney filled in with, you know, Orange play,
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: I mean, what are you? I mean, it looked like
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: a high school, like a party, like that you have
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: like a high school theater kid party.
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like a church potluck almost.
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: And I respect the effort, and she's a good person,
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: and she works hard, but giving a part, there's an
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: art to entertaining.
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: And giving an actual party.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: And it was a tremendous and despicable display, a failure
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: of epic proportions, a strange vibe, an odd configuration of people,
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: very sad people, wealthy.
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: And yet sad, an.
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: Interesting, you know, One woman whose laugh was so absurd
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: that it was just derailing the whole thing.
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: One woman was like... You know? I just.
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: We Irish goodbyed.
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: We just laughed. I looked at Jim Jefferies. I said,
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: I got to get out of here. He's like, oh, yeah,
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: me too. I think I'm going to Irish goodbye too.
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: He's a happy guy, huh? Anyway, I love him. Very funny.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: He is very funny. He's a genius. But, you know,
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: he's more muted in person, you know? Nobody's any fun
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: in LA. That's the problem.
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: Nobody's fun. We had these two 19-year-old TikTok kids come here.
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: Sweet kids.
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: But I mean, can you tell anyone apart from anyone
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: else here? Everybody's just like, I'm on Twitch.
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: I'm a gamer.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: Nobody has any anecdotes. Nobody has a fun anecdote. Nobody
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: turns around to you in this town and goes, my
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: mother died during childbirth.
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: I never knew her. Nobody has a fun anecdote.
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: My father was a drunk and tried to molest me
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: and the only way I got out of it was
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: by pushing him down the stairs and paralyzing him. Oh.
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: No one says that. Everyone goes, I'm on Twitch. That's
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: all anyone says. I stream on Twitch. I was beaten
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: up every day and then I became strong and raped
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: every nerd that beat me up. I realized I was
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: gay but also a fighter and wanted to fuck him,
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: fuck him, fuck him hard. No one has stories like that.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: Everybody just goes, I just sit in my room and
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: I just look at a screen and then the people
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: on the other side look at me. And we are,
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: now we are going to do Twitch and I don't
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: want you coming to me now and saying, hey, you
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: shit all over this and then you do it.
• 38:46
  Speaker 3: That's what it is here. Okay.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: The game is to be played. So I'm going to
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: get on Twitch and I don't need people calling me
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: a hypocrite.
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: Okay. Don't call me a hypocrite. Don't get mad at me.
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: Because Candace Owens came on here and threw some shade.
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: At, what am I supposed to do? I pushed back.
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: She says, this, I don't agree. Maybe, I don't know
• 39:10
  Speaker 3: about that. They wanted me to yell at her.
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: The Rogan, they had that viral moment where he's like,
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: why don't you believe scientists? And she just said, I don't.
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: I don't like science.
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: And he's just like, well, why? She's like, I don't.
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: Who cares?
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: What did that do for any of you, you morons?
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: What did it do for anyone? She's more popular now
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: than she was then. You think that worked? Oh, yeah,
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: she was dethroned after that, huh?
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: Does it work? Does it work, idiots?
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you, the only thing that works, apparently, is heroin.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: It's the only thing that does its job. in this
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: country because everybody who's on it is like, hey, my
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: cousin keeps going back to it. Yeah.
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: She said to me once, she looked right in my
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: face and goes, I love heroin.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah. She goes, I love our family and you, but
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: I love heroin. It was like, what do you tell
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: someone like that to do? Like, but have you ever
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: watched Bravo? Like she's, she's found her thing. She's, she's in,
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: she's in the, in the cut.
• 40:13
  Speaker 3: She's focused. You know, do you want to be more
• 40:17
  Speaker 3: productive in the new year? Yes.
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: Do you want to start an e-commerce business and take
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: advantage of the online digital marketplace?
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: How are you going to do it?
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: I don't know. Do you have a service that I
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: could use?
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: Shut up. You haven't thought about that?
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: No, I haven't. I want to do it, but I don't.
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: Do what? What do you even want to do?
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I want to start an e-commerce business.
• 40:45
  Speaker 3: With doing what? I don't know.
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: It's overwhelming. I have to ship things.
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: What are you shipping? You don't even have a business yet.
• 40:53
  Speaker 3: What are you trying to do?
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I just thought I could have a business.
• 40:58
  Speaker 3: What kind of business?
• 41:01
  Speaker 4: Embroidered golf balls with people's names on them for Christmas.
• 41:05
  Speaker 3: How do you embroider a golf ball?
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: Well, I would use Sharpies.
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: Isn't that more engraved than embroidered?
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: I guess engraved.
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: So you want to engrave golf balls.
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 41:19
  Speaker 3: What are the margins?
• 41:20
  Speaker 5: Because in order for me to even tell you about
• 41:26
  Speaker 5: this product, I have to be confident in the rest
• 41:28
  Speaker 5: of your business plan, and it doesn't seem like you
• 41:31
  Speaker 5: have one. Folks, if you have a plan that is
• 41:36
  Speaker 5: actually a plan and not what this idiot said, go
• 41:40
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• 41:41
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• 41:44
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• 42:06
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• 42:43
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• 42:50
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• 44:02
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• 44:06
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• 44:10
  Speaker 1: that we may do in relation to the podcast.
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: We don't know. We don't know. We don't know.
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  Speaker 1: But we're talking to some interesting people and coming up
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• 44:26
  Speaker 3: We got to have fun, right?
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: This is going to feel like the Christmas I spent
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: at Lisa's Lounge alone.
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: You know, and I remember that clear as day it
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: was christmas eve.
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: I did not go with my family i went alone
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: to a bar in long island called lisa's lounge and
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: that people were doing cocaine on the bar and drinking
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: and then the owner came out and he said to
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: me he goes this is what this place has always
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: been about he took a key bump and he goes
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: i've always wanted people to have a place to go
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: when they didn't have anywhere to go for the holidays
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: that's why he opened the bar and i said well
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: that's good I said, thank you so much.
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: He's dead now. I said, thank you so much.
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: And I sat there and I got drunk and I
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: was drinking with these two people, a guy who inherited
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: a lot of money. And then a hooker started taking
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: his money. And then he lost all of the inheritance
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: and ended up living back in his car. The guy
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: got like a get out of jail free card, got
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: 120 grand. A woman swooped in, fleeced him, And he
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: ended up living right back in the car. And he would,
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: outside of the bar every night, he would just sleep
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: in his car. It wasn't even a big car. It
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: was like a small pickup. And he would just knock back.
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: And then the bartenders in the morning would knock on
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: his window and say, hey, what's up, buddy? And he'd
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: shake off to sleep, go right back in, and have
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: a cocktail. And those are the types of people I
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: miss living in L.A. I don't find any of them
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: because they had great stories. And they, you know, these
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: are people with a lot to do. And I spent
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: a Christmas Eve with him and with the woman... who
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: took all his money, who he then started talking to again.
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: He was mad at her, and then he was like, well,
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: I lost all the money anyway. Why keep this beef up?
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to kill her. And so they hung out,
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: and we were all hanging out. We were just having
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: a good time, and I remember that that was one
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: of the lowest points of my life, a truly, truly
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: low point of my life, like one of the worst
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: times that I can remember where I truly didn't want
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: to be on Earth anymore And I can't even describe
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: to you how much worse Whitney's Friendsgiving was. Like how
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: much worse it was than that moment of my life.
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: It would be, I couldn't even describe, I couldn't even
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: put together a metric to make you understand what a
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: troubling experience it was.
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: How are holiday retail numbers?
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: You know the guys at CNBC, as everything's going to
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: get so bad, they're going to just be cramming Adderall
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: in their face.
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: They're going to be looking at each.
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: Other like, How are holiday... And they're going to have
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: to stare at each other like, how are the holiday numbers? Maria,
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: what are the holiday retail numbers right now?
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: What is this? Is this recent? Yeah, these are people
• 47:18
  Speaker 3: that are lying.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they think there's going to be a strong finish
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: to 2020 in spite of the pandemic?
• 47:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think not. I don't know.
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: Well, we're entering a place now. We're entering a time
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: now where the disparity... between people that are fucked and
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: people who aren't fucked is so, the chasm is so great,
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: which is why everyone yells at me, oh, he's.
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: A conservative Nazi.
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: No, I think there's a huge problem with the level
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: of inequality in this country.
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: It's unsustainable. I've said it many times. But now we're
• 47:52
  Speaker 3: at a point now where it's, we.
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: View the random charity of influencers as like, oh, Like
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: when they print that article about the kid that gives
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: the blankets, what are people supposed to go?
• 48:07
  Speaker 3: They go, ha, ha, ha, that's right, ha. Like what
• 48:11
  Speaker 3: is the reaction supposed to be?
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: Everybody's supposed to go, well, that's good.
• 48:16
  Speaker 3: What a nice young man. There are still good people
• 48:19
  Speaker 3: in the world.
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: Like we've gotten so bad now where those types of
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: stories are, that's like feel-good news, right? That's feel-good news
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: that things are so bad now that the homelessness crisis
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: is so crazy. If 10 of them get a Snuggie,
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: it's a news story because people are like, wow, we
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: need something to just fucking pep everyone up because everything's
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: corona and death and everyone's dead and no one can
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: talk to their family and everyone's dying alone in.
• 48:52
  Speaker 3: Bubbles in hospitals.
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: And nurses can't handle anything, and everything's fucked. It's 700,000
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: people a month are filing for unemployment. Trump's not leaving,
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: and he's going, but he's not, and he's still tweeting,
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: and Biden has no clue. And things are bad, and
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: they're going to get worse. And the third wave, I
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: saw an article the other day about the third wave.
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: Get ready for the third wave. But in between that,
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: in between your anxiety, your your fucking heart palpitations from
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: your coffee and the SSRIs you take just to get
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: out of bed please enjoy this very heartwarming Christmas story
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: about an influencer handing a blanket to one of the
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: now 90 trillion homeless people that live under bridges that
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: used to work in restaurants unfortunately they never worked at
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: Gavin Newsom's winery Because then they'd.
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: Still have their jobs.
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: And can someone burn down his winery metaphorically as a
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: bit in an article? Burn it down in an article.
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: Do you see what I'm saying here? Not physically. That's illegal.
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: Burn it down with satire. Burn it down with satire. Mr.
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: Newsome?
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: He is good-looking people like him who don't give a shit.
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: They should not be allowed to run a state. They
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: should not be allowed to run the state of California.
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: Just kind of that pretty boy. I own a vineyard.
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: Look at what he owns. Go get what Gavin Newsom owns.
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: He owns everything. He owns vineyards and wineries. He founded
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: the Plump Jack Winery.
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: Napa, yeah.
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: Up in Napa. When's he up? When's he out of here?
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: I want to get Logan Paul in there as governor.
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: Got to get this guy out. These people are establishing
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: rules for lockdowns, and then they're breaking the lockdown. He
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: had dinner at the French Laundry. Another mayor did something.
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: All of these mayors are breaking their own lockdowns. They travel.
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: The guy in Denver traveled. The mayor goes, well, I
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: got to travel. I got to see my family.
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: The Austin mayor, too.
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they're all breaking their lockdown. If you break a lockdown,
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: and I said this on Twitter, I got 40,000 likes.
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: If you break a lockdown and you're an elected official,
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: you should be fired. You should resign. You should be
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: forced to resign. Your party should abandon you.
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: He had businesses in San Francisco in the mid-2000s. He
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: was a businessman.
• 51:29
  Speaker 3: Here's my thing with Gavin Newsom.
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: I just think what he's doing, the homelessness in California,
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: the problems in California are so great. And there's absolutely
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: no plan coming from anybody that makes anyone feel comfortable
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: about opening a business here, buying a home here. I
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: tell Ben all the time, I'm like, we're here. For
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: a period of time, I don't know when that ends.
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: I do not know when that ends.
• 51:59
  Speaker 3: You know? Musk just came out and said he's not
• 52:01
  Speaker 3: leaving California.
• 52:02
  Speaker 2: So that was old news, and now the rumor is
• 52:05
  Speaker 2: he is leaving.
• 52:05
  Speaker 3: Musk is going to Texas. Dude, we saw those starlight
• 52:08
  Speaker 3: satellites last night. I thought it was UFOs.
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: I thought it was UFOs, and it's actually Elon Musk's
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: starlight satellites, which are what?
• 52:16
  Speaker 3: What's he doing up there?
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: No idea. It looked like drone formations, you know?
• 52:21
  Speaker 3: We really are at a point.
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: Where the technology is so amazing and yet it doesn't
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: make anyone's life better, which we kind of knew. Ted
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: Kaczynski knew that. And I'm not saying, you understand what
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: I'm saying? I'm not saying that Ted Kaczynski was right.
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: I'm saying that he had elements of truth in what
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: he said, just like Candace Owens had elements of truth.
• 52:41
  Speaker 3: Everybody has elements of truth in a larger narrative. What
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: a tale we weave, you know?
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: Like Candace Owens talked about her cousin in the projects.
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: What was her cousin's name?
• 52:55
  Speaker 3: Mia? I think so.
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: I wonder if she really has a cousin in the
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: projects or she just made that up. She's like, my
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: cousin in the projects, Mia, doesn't know who Trump is.
• 53:04
  Speaker 3: I'm like, wait, what?
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: That was like the most racist thing she said. My cousin, Mia,
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: in the projects didn't know what Brexit was. She didn't
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: even know what Great Britain is. She's like, what the fuck,
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: Great Britain? I'm like, is that really what was happening?
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: She's like, my cousin, Mia, doesn't even know Trump. She'd
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: be like, who Trump? I'm like, no one is that stupid.
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: Do you really have a cousin in the project? Or
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: you have invented some ratchet cousin to tell people about?
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: My cousin Mia is pregnant with nine babies.
• 53:36
  Speaker 3: She don't know who Trump is. Is that really what's
• 53:39
  Speaker 3: going on?
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: Or have you just invented that character to just make
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: people more racist? It's like a character to pull out
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: where she's like, listen, you want to really hate black people?
• 53:52
  Speaker 3: My cousin Mia doesn't know what a fork is. She
• 53:57
  Speaker 3: doesn't know.
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: She smokes all her food. She smokes her food. She
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: rolled a sandwich in a blunt. I saw it.
• 54:03
  Speaker 3: I love it. And then she goes, I love me.
• 54:05
  Speaker 3: I love my cousin Mia. She's my cousin Mia. I
• 54:08
  Speaker 3: love her. But she's an ignorant, stupid person. welfare taking
• 54:14
  Speaker 3: and you're.
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: Like whoa hold on like when I watch the interview
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: back I'm like the thing I should have pushed back
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: on is the description of her cousin who lived in
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: the projects like that was maybe the worst thing ever
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: that I didn't you know my cousin Mia man she
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: just lived in the projects and you know every time
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: I go there I just do the alphabet with her
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: one time just to show her show her what it
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: is I'm like wait what hold on You seem like
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: you're being a nut. But what are you going to do?
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: Next week, we will have Diamond and Silk. We have
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: a Christmas special. Diamond and Silk, the Reverend Jesse Lee Peterson.
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: Tesla CEO Elon Musk has told friends and associates he
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: plans to move to Texas.
• 55:06
  Speaker 2: That's the rumor today.
• 55:07
  Speaker 3: Who cares? Good for him.
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: You know, I liked him, and then he named the
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: baby that crazy name. I was done after. I know
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: Rogan loves him. I was done after that. I was
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: done after he named the baby the math equation, the
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: baby name. I was kind of done. I was just
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: kind of like, okay, man, I get it. Yeah, XAEA2. Yeah,
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: I just, I don't know. After that, I said, let's
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: just move on.
• 55:39
  Speaker 3: You know? I can't.
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: I can't be involved, but I wish everyone the best
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: for the lockdown and the holiday season. I hope that
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: you are enjoying yourselves and finding, you know.
• 55:51
  Speaker 3: I'm going to get a Christmas tree this year. I
• 55:53
  Speaker 3: haven't had a tree in a long time. You should
• 55:55
  Speaker 3: get one.
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: I'm going to get a Christmas tree. Should we do a,
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: I think I should get a Christmas tree and put
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: masks on it. I call it a COVID tree. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: Little tests. Hang tests.
• 56:05
  Speaker 3: Little tests and masks. A COVID tree. That might be fun.
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: COVID tree. I mean, I do want to get a
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: Christmas tree. I want to enjoy the holiday as much
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: as I can. You know, as someone without a family
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: and many friends and who's disgusted by most of what
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: he sees and hears and feels, I do want to
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: still enjoy the holiday season, you know, in a rapidly
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: decaying oligarchy that's so it's barely funny anymore. Like that's how,
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: that's how bad things have gotten. They're, they're not even funny.
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: Not even because they're too tragic. They've always been that
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: they're not funny anymore because there's a remarkable sameness to everything.
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: Like we feel like we're in round two of something.
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: It's like we're, and we're going again, we're going again,
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: get ready, you know, I'm just kind of like, when
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: the fuck are we going to break out of it?
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: And I wonder what post-quarantine is going to look like.
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: Are people going to say, fuck technology? Are they just
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: going to say, I want to connect with real people again?
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: I want to connect with human beings again. We've lived
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: our lives on these screens. We've sacrificed everything for in
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: the service of algorithms. Is that going to be the vibe?
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: Are people going to say, fuck it, throw away the TV?
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: I mean, throw it in MacBooks and the iPhones. We're
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: going to run out. Let's go hiking again. Let's go swimming.
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: Let's go do what we want to do. Let's do
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: music festivals. Let's do live comedy. Let's do live theater.
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: Let's get out there. Let's reconnect with people. Is that
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: what's going to happen? Is that what's going to happen?
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: Even as I say it, I know the answer is no.
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: Even as I say it, no. But, I mean, that
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: would be like a resurgence of life. Like you finally
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: go back outside and you go, man, I missed life.
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: I missed going to a diner with someone and lunch
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: with a friend who I don't even like. But I
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: miss that. I miss the feeling of going out to
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: a crowded bar. I miss being on a crowded subway.
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: I miss being on a plane where people are coughing
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: and sneezing and I didn't think I was going to
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: die when I left. I mean, when's that going to
• 58:11
  Speaker 1: come back? I miss the feeling of being in an
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: office and opening the refrigerator and seeing who brought what
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: lunch and what I could technically steal. I miss shitty
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: office Christmas parties. I miss going out and seeing people
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: that you hate far less than you should. Aren't those
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: nice people that you hate far less than you should?
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: I should hate this person a lot more based on
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: everything about them. And yet I still have some level
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: of it's like fine. Fine.
• 58:47
  Speaker 2: Fine.
• 58:49
  Speaker 3: Was a lot of my friends throughout my entire life
• 58:50
  Speaker 3: you'd go.
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: Okay fine you're here and and I miss that I
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: miss the tacit agreements we make the small just like
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: everything now is too intense there's no casual anything in
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: Everything you got to be in, every friendship's like your
• 59:13
  Speaker 1: best friend. Every person that you talk to is like
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: super close. I miss casual friendships. I miss acquaintances. I
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: miss shit that didn't matter. I miss talking to someone
• 59:23
  Speaker 1: and then watching them hit by a bus and going, meh,
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: and walking away. I miss so much of life needs
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: to go back to the casual where.
• 59:30
  Speaker 3: It doesn't matter.
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: The breeze that blows, the freedom to not care. Now
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: everything is so intense because you could die, I guess.
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: So every fuck, every friendship, every business deal, everything is
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: super uber intense. Everything's a decision to go to the store,
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: weigh the risk.
• 59:52
  Speaker 3: What am I doing? Have these people over?
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: Are they clean? Have they been careful? Who have they
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: been seeing? Everything is too intense. You can't casually hate
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: people in your vicinity anymore. You can't just casually invite
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: people over and when they leave, look at your friend
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: and go, you know, they're not that smart.
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 3: They think they're smart. They're not.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: You can't do it anymore because everything feels so intense.
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: And I think that that's sad. We need to introduce
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: the casual back to life. We don't have the casual now.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: Everything is a big fucking production. Everything is super intense
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: and very involved. Everything you want to do is involved.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: And every friendship you have now is like trauma bonding.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: And that's good for certain instances, but I think a
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: lot of people, we got to go back. Now, obviously
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: you can have a tight-knit group of close friends, but
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 1: we got to go back to the casual, right?
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 3: Where people... Because this is not life.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: This unending drumbeat of hell and horror is not life.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: We have to go back to something that feels more
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: like who cares. No one has said who cares and
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: meant it in years. And that's a big problem. Because
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: that means everybody cares. And that's a huge issue. The
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: last thing you want people to do is care because
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: they fuck it up.
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 3: They fuck it up. You ever have somebody....
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: Get really excited about all the things they want to
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: help you with. And then you go back off, back off.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: Nobody said, who cares? You got, you got to say,
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: who cares? You got to say to yourself like, yeah, man. Yeah.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 3: Have them over or don't. We'll go to that thing
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 3: or we won't.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 3: Who cares?
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: What does it matter? What does any of it matter?
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: Now everything matters. And, and, and it's just, Unfortunate. And
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: that's what I want. I want the return of the casual.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 1: So that's what I hope. When this is over, I'm
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: just gonna.
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 3: Travel and walk around and go, I don't care. I
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 3: don't care.
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: And that's gonna feel so good to not care about
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: anything or anyone. Do you get it? That's what we're
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: trying to get back here. Total and utter fucking, what
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: is the word I'm looking for?
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 2: Annihilism?
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 3: No, when you don't care, it's with an A.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 2: Apathy?
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: Apathy. Let's get back to that. You see a nurse,
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: you go, fuck her. You don't feel bad for her. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 3: Fuck her. I don't know that bitch. Can't we get
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 3: back to that? You look at politicians, you go, fuck her. Yeah,
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 3: they're lying. They're scum.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: Get them away. Go own your winery. Jerk off wine,
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: but I don't care. Because nothing is a life or
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: death deal. But things are too serious right now. And
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 1: we can't go back. We need to be able to
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: go back to that.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 3: The schools are open. The schools are closed. Fuck them.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: We need to go back to that. I'm thinking about
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 1: things I've never even thought about. I'm like, are the
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: kids safe in the school?
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 3: It's not my business.
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 4: I don't care.
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 1: I just want to go back to that. We all
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: must go back to that. It's the American way, truly.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: It's the American way to go back to a casual, casual,
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: nonchalant things. I care about people now so much for
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: no reason.
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 3: Really, truly.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 1: I look at people and I go, I care about
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 1: them and I want them to be okay. And that's
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: destroying me. You know, worrying about other people is absolutely
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: undoing me.
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 3: It's destroying me.
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: I need to go back to a thing where I
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: don't worry about anyone, even myself. I just need to
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 1: go back to that. We need to go back to that.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 1: And a lot of people are like, oh, this is
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: not true. This is making me think about a lot
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 1: of interesting things. That's what I try to do on
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 1: the show. But they're like, this time has actually been
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: a blessing.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 3: No, it hasn't. It's been a journey. No, it hasn't.
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 3: It's been really good for me, and it's really showed
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 3: me who my close friends were. No, it hasn't. You're
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 3: trauma bonding. You're in a dugout. You're in a foxhole.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 3: You're in a war. People are shooting at you. Yeah.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 3: Are you close with the person next to you? I
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 3: bet you are.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: No, your friends are your friends when things are going well.
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: When things are going horrible, this is another thing I
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: want to clear up, by the way.
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: Because this is the other thing that people don't understand.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 1: They go, your friends are only your friends in the shit.
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 1: When things are in the shit, that's not true. Tons
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 1: of people love to be around shit and misery and
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: will find you. Your friends are actually your friends when
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: things are going well. They're not jealous of you. They're not,
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: you know, threaten them. You have a good life and
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 1: they're happy for you. And that's a real friendship. When
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: you are in the worst time ever, actually many people
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: come out and they're like.
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 3: I'm here for you.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: But what they really want to do is just watch
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 1: you 9-11 style jump out of the South Tower window
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 1: and fall to the ground. Because that's what people like
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: to do. They like to watch each other immolate. So
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: don't put too much stock into anything. When things are good,
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: That's when you figure out who your friends are. And
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: things have been good for me right now. I mean,
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 1: things are good for us right now. Even though things
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: are bad in the world, the show has been good
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: and the live dates have gone good.
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 3: And I have some friends.
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 1: I have a handful of friends and I have a
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: lot of acquaintances, but I have a small, I have
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: less than 10 really close friends, far less than 10.
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: I don't want to, I don't want to say how
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 1: many I really have because then at the end, people
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: are like, well, I thought it's all problem, but it's
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 1: a small group of people that I'm friends with now. And, and,
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: When I was doing horribly, I had a hundred friends.
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 3: Like when I look at the text I got.
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 1: When things were going really, really, like when I was
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 1: just an open micro in New York City and nobody cared,
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 1: I had no career.
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 3: Everyone was like, hey, happy Thanksgiving, man. And we'd all
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 3: take photos of our families. Look at these fucks.
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 1: They don't understand us. We're the next generation. Fuck these fucks.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: Go in there, steal a little money out of their purse.
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 3: Give me a little bit of that.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 1: Then everybody's, they're all in for it. But then when
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 1: things go decently, you truly see there's a few people
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 1: that actually come out to be your friends. That is
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 1: the opposite of what you're told. You're told that your
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: real friends are around you during the hard times.
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 3: Untrue! Untrue! Your real friends are around during the good times.
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 3: That's the reality. And many of you Don't want to
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 3: hear that. But that's the reality. It's the good times.
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 3: Go give blankets to people that don't need them. You understand?
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: Impress me. You want to impress me? Do you want
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 1: to really impress me, TikTok stars? Go take those blankets.
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 1: And give them back to Ellen. Knock on her door. Hi.
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 3: Give them back to her.
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 1: Go, you deserve these, you crazy bitch. That would impress me.
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 1: Because that would mean they got... Because a blanket for
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 1: a homeless person is nice.
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 3: It's a nice thing.
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: But I would be much more interested if that homeless
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 1: person was a sociopathic Millionaire talk show host.
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 3: Then they get the blanket. Then you see... And why?
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 1: Why, Tim?
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 3: You don't understand. You're sitting in the back and go, well,
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 3: I know that there's a point here.
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: Because there's no story if you give Ellen the blanket.
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 3: So it's real. You see?
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: If you give the millionaire the blanket... It's real. Because
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 1: no one reports or thinks favorably of you for doing it.
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 3: You get it now? Or are you still confused, dummies?
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 3: Give charity to the rich. Yes or yes?
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: Do you want to prove Do you want to prove
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 1: that you have the Christmas spirit? Give to those that have.
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: Give to those that have. Because it's real. Because it's real.
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 1: There's no ulterior motive. Give to those that have more
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 1: than you. Giving to those that have less than you
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 1: shows me that you want me to come up and
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 1: pat you on the back for the things that you
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 1: are doing for those that have less than you.
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 3: It's not right. Give to those that have more. If
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 3: you see someone that's doing well, Help them do better.
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 3: That's the real lesson.
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 1: The Christmas Carol was great up until the end when
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 1: Scrooge became a loser.
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 3: Because what Scrooge was saying is, we have to work.
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 1: Oh, but mister, I want to go have, I want
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 1: to go to have the holidays with my family. And Scrooge,
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 1: Scrooge gave him a job, right? Scrooge gave Bob Cratchit
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 1: a job. Is it Scrooge's fault that he had a cripple? No.
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 3: Scrooge goes, hey, come into work and be a clerk.
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 3: He even knows what that is.
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 1: Write with a quill pen, be a freak in that corner,
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 1: and I'll fucking be a miser and run this ship.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 3: And then what did Bob Cratchit do?
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 2: I forget.
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 1: He goes, I want to go home with my family
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 1: because it's Christmas. And Scrooge goes, you better fucking, you
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 1: better figure it out. Better get this shit done. And
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 1: I don't remember. I think Cratchit leaves. Cratchit leaves and
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 1: goes home to be with his loser family. His son, like,
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 1: his crippled son and his disgusting wife.
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 3: And in this hovel that he lives in. And then
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 3: he's there and.
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 1: Then Scrooge, a fucking king, gets harassed. By these communist
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: ghosts AOC Bernie Sanders And.
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 3: I don't even know Ilhan Omar maybe?
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah Ilhan Omar I was going to say Cornel West
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 1: Because he kind of has a ghost look And then
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 1: he wakes up the next day And he goes buy
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 1: the fattest turkey And give it to this loser Cratchit No.
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 3: It's not real. Do you understand that they had to
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 3: scare him? They had to send the ghost. Scrooge knew
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 3: he was right. Live in the security that you are correct.
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 3: All the time. Even when you're not right. Be right.
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 1: And Scrooge, by telling Cratchit, you have to work. And
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 1: things don't just happen.
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 3: You have to work.
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 1: Is the best lesson of that. Doesn't matter about the bullshit.
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 1: I want to eat figgy pudding.
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yes.
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 1: But you must work. And that was the real lesson
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 1: of the Christmas Carol. When he wakes up the next
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 1: day and he goes, here's the turkey and bring the
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 1: turkey to the family.
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 3: Also, like, can you imagine... Like, that wouldn't even work.
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 1: Like, he would send a turkey, and, like, the wife
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 1: would be like, this is a fucking guy who tortures
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 1: you every day. Sending a turkey over now? Like, what's
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 1: his game? What's this guy's game, this old miser's piece
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 1: of shit?
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 3: You know? So that's how Ben's wife feels about me.
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 1: Like, I could deliver a Rolls Royce to the house
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 1: for both of them.
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 3: She'd go, what is this? Do you have the brakes in?
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 3: What are we, did you just try to kill me?
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 1: So that's my whole problem with the Christmas Carol is
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 1: that it's an assault on a business owner, right?
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 3: Scrooge. And by the way, am I?
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 1: Is the show sponsored by Turning Point USA?
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 3: Yes, it is.
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 1: And will I be doing a Turning Point USA's rereading
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 1: of Scrooge?
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 3: Yes, I will. And will I be doing it with
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 3: Charlie Kirk? Well, I just may.
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 1: And me and Charlie Kirk will reread a new version
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 1: of Scrooge where there is respect for the entrepreneur.
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 1: And not some low-level vagabond clerk and his gimp son.
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 3: We're doing a new version of the.
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 1: Christmas Count with respect for the entrepreneur. We're doing a
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 1: new version of Oliver Twist. No, Oliver Twist, what's the
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 1: famous line in Oliver Twist?
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 2: Can I have some more?
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 3: Please, sir, may I have some more?
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 1: And the new line, when me and Charlie have rewritten it, is, sir,
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 1: I've had more than enough, and everyone else has had
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 1: too much, and they're getting lazy. So can I please
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 1: go back to work? That's the new line. New readings
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 1: of the classics. Turning Point USA's new readings of the
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 1: classics with Tim Dillon and Charlie Kirk.
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 3: I have not sold out. I have bought in. You see?
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 1: There's a difference between selling out and buying in, and
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 1: I find that I just want a blanket. I just
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 1: hope someone gives me a blanket. That's how you know
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 1: you're doing bad. So the first reason you know that
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 1: you've had a bad week is if people call you
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 1: up and they're like, hey, we just want you to.
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 3: Be really careful because of COVID. And the second reason
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 3: you know you've had a bad week and you look like.
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 1: Shit is is if a TikTok star hands you a blanket,
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 1: then you know things are not going well. So if
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 1: those two things are happening, you might want to change
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 1: what you're doing before you have to. Great line from
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 1: my old boss, change before you have to.
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 3: He's in jail. Change before you have to. You see?
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 3: But what I said about friendship there is so, so true.
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 1: So correct. And many of you will understand that. And
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 1: many of you won't understand it because you're trained in
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 1: this basic bitch logic of just swallowing these Hallmark fairy
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 1: tales about what life is.
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 3: And they're like, when the going gets tough, the, the, the,
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 3: shut up. It's not true.
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 1: Okay?
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 3: It's not true.
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 1: So to the rules today are this. Give to those
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 1: that have more. Because it makes you feel good and
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 1: it's real.
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 3: Okay? That's the rule.
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 1: Another rule is your real friends are around during times
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 1: of jubilation, not misery.
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 3: It's very true. You might not like that.
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 1: The third rule is only attend a party at Whitney
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 1: Cummings' house if you've planned it.
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 3: She is, I mean, God, that was... What did you think?
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 1: What was your impression of it? I'm always on the
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 1: hook for everything here because he doesn't say anything. I mean,
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 1: the food was kind of like inedible.
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 3: In my opinion. Yeah, it was bad. What do you
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 3: think about the, what was vegan and shit? That's what
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 3: they do in LA. It's vegan.
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I just can't do that. Yeah, it's a satanic
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 1: priestess does it. Blesses it. What do you think about
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 1: the decor? What was the overall vibe?
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 2: It felt more Halloween to me. It did. The cook
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 2: had a big hat.
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it did.
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 2: And everything was orange.
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 3: It felt. Now, you were around for the planning of
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 3: my event, which didn't happen, but it was still planned.
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 2: Correct. I assisted.
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 3: I assisted. It was just going to be a different level. Oh, yeah.
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 3: It was just going to be a little bit of
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 3: a different level.
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 3: It's just a different level. More attention to detail. You know? Oh, yeah.
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 3: That's all.
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 2: And a funner crew.
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah. You think? I mean, she's got like.
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 1: It's like half influencers, half reality stars. People that she's
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 1: dug out of a comedy chest from 1992 haven't worked
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 1: in 30 years.
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 3: I mean, it's like.
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 1: Some influencer's like, my titty's a trillionaire. And then some
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 1: comic next to them that lives in a car. It's like,
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 1: what is going on?
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 3: You know?
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 1: Some Instagram influencer's like, look at my golden pussy. And
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 1: then the person next to them's like, I live in
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 1: a RAV4 I found. So there's no semblance. I don't
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 1: even understand what's happening there.
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 1: It's like when people with drugs used to hang out
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 1: with people without drugs. It would be like, yeah, I don't... Right.
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, what are you doing here? Very strange. New studio
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 3: being built. When do you think we'll have the new studio? Like, actually.
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 4: By the new year. We have to get some custom
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 4: things built. It's going to take a couple weeks. It's
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 4: going to take a couple of weeks.
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 1: Thank you for everybody who has supported the fake business campaign.
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 3: Fake business will be doing real business up until... Oh,
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 3: it's over now.
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 4: Well, if you're on the West Coast and this episode's up,
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 4: you might have a couple hours to still buy.
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean, if you haven't bought it by now,
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 3: what are you really doing? Yeah. What are you really
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 3: doing out there? You know?
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 1: So we're going to leave now. We're going to disobey
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 1: the lockdown because this is not essential.
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 3: Get the McRib.
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 2: We're podcast. So we're media.
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 4: So I'm allowed to travel to your house and back
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 4: to mine. So we're allowed to go get food, right?
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 4: Because we have to come back and do ads afterwards.
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 2: We go get the McRib.
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 3: Good point. Hey, officer. We're a podcast. Have you heard
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 3: of podcasting?
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 1: We're the media. We are the media now. Another thing
• 1:19:02
  Speaker 1: I said as a joke is now somehow real.
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 2: It's true.
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 3: We're the media. What a fucking... What an insane realization, huh? Yeah.
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 3: We're allowed to leave our homes because we're the media. Yeah.
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 1: Do you think Gavin Newsom's in an office one day going,
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 1: you're letting these fucks go to and from each other's
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 1: houses and you're telling people to burn down my wineries?
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 3: Gavin, it's a metaphor. A fan of the show is
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 3: in there going, Gavin, he said to it with satire.
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 3: Burn down the winery with satire.
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 1: You know? Um... I'm not telling anyone. This is how
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 1: I'll end the show, which is fine. This is how
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 1: we're going to end the show. I just want to
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 1: clarify right now. I am not telling anyone to set
• 1:19:50
  Speaker 1: Gavin Newsom's winery on fire. That is not what I'm
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 1: doing at all. This is a joke.
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 3: I'm not. If you're in the area and you have
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 3: a lit cigarette...
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 2: Ha ha ha!