Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / A sneaky way that Narcissists trick you into reaching out to them

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A sneaky way that Narcissists trick you into reaching out to them · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful folks?
• 0:01
  Today we're going to be talking about a special type of Hoover
• 0:06
  or a special tactic that narcissistic people use to get
• 0:10
  you to reach out to them. A special Hoover.
• 0:13
  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
• 0:15
  I'm a self aware narcissist and welcome to another episode of
• 0:17
  The Narcissist Code. Boom, welcome back folks,
• 0:37
  welcome back, welcome back. Yes, a special Hoover.
• 0:41
  So this episode is actually got inspired by one of my
• 0:44
  psychologist friends, Doctor SI ain't going to say her name or
• 0:48
  whatnot, but doctor AS soon to be doctor AS inspired this video
• 0:55
  just on Instagram a few minutes ago.
• 0:56
  Actually, I see she she she sent me a message on Instagram and
• 0:59
  said that her narcissistic ex had possibly keyed her car and I
• 1:05
  was just like, huh, you know, that could be a form of a
• 1:08
  Hoover. That could be a form like the
• 1:11
  damage Hoover, the creating chaos Hoover, the the kind of
• 1:16
  secret damage stalker Hoover, right where they would do
• 1:21
  something ominous, like you can't necessarily prove that
• 1:25
  it's that it's them, but you know it's them.
• 1:29
  Like you're no contact with your you're no contact or very low
• 1:32
  contact with your narcissistic ex, right?
• 1:36
  And all of a sudden, you know you're not responding to them.
• 1:39
  You had them blocked or whatever.
• 1:40
  All of a sudden your car gets keyed, huh?
• 1:44
  All of a sudden there's a brick thrown through your window.
• 1:49
  All of a sudden you're through your house window.
• 1:51
  All of a sudden there's some damage at work or something like
• 1:55
  that. All of a sudden your tire is
• 1:57
  just been stabbed. All of a sudden the back
• 2:00
  windshield of your car has a big brick thrown through it or
• 2:03
  something along those lines right there.
• 2:07
  Sorry y'all, that's the form of a Hoover.
• 2:11
  I know people like well how the hell is key in your car
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  scratching the key in your car, calling you from a private
• 2:17
  number and hanging up breathing, breathing.
• 2:20
  Imagine you get a call, a private call, a unknown number
• 2:22
  calling you and somebody just breathed it on the phone and
• 2:24
  you're like who the hell is this calling me And you answer it and
• 2:27
  it's like and then they hang up on you.
• 2:34
  That's a form of a Hoover. It just is because it causes you
• 2:40
  to want to reach out to them, to be, to be accusatory of them.
• 2:44
  It causes you to want to call them out on their BS.
• 2:49
  It causes you. It could incite you or elicit a
• 2:53
  response from you to get you to contact me, to get you to break
• 2:58
  no contact, right? That's how it happens right
• 3:01
  there to so many people. It gets you.
• 3:04
  These type of behaviors get you to break no contact with your
• 3:08
  narcissistic ex, your narcissistic partner.
• 3:11
  It's a space where they do something behind the scenes.
• 3:14
  They do something horrible, they create some chaos, they create
• 3:17
  some damage. They do something bad that you
• 3:20
  can't quite prove it's them, but you know it's them and it causes
• 3:24
  you to break no contact a lot of times.
• 3:27
  Another way they can do this y'all is they spread rumors
• 3:29
  about you. These are spreading rumors about
• 3:31
  you to your friends and family members right?
• 3:34
  They start spreading these rumors to your friends and
• 3:36
  family members and it causes you to want to reach out to them to
• 3:39
  get them to stop. Like, hey, why are you lying to
• 3:42
  my Mama about what happened? Why you talking to my daddy
• 3:46
  about our relationship? Why you telling out my friends
• 3:48
  and family members? Why you telling our mutual
• 3:50
  friends that I cheated on you? Can you please stop?
• 3:53
  Like you're asking them to stop. You're doing things to get them
• 3:57
  to leave you alone. You're doing things to get them
• 3:59
  to, just to, to, to, to to peace out, right?
• 4:02
  You're doing all of this stuff and they still are messing with
• 4:05
  you. They're still creating this
• 4:08
  chaos in your life. They're still doing this stuff
• 4:11
  like you reach out to them to get them to stop.
• 4:14
  You reach out to them to call them on their stuff.
• 4:17
  You reach out to them to, to to, you know, just let them know
• 4:21
  that you know, It's a form of a Hoover, y'all.
• 4:24
  It seems so subtle, it seems so stupid, it seems so ignorant.
• 4:27
  But when all things, when nothing else works, this tends
• 4:31
  to be the best way to get you to reach out.
• 4:34
  This tends to be the most effective way to get you to
• 4:37
  reach out, right? It just does it it, it really
• 4:41
  does happen like that. Like if you're not reaching out
• 4:44
  to me and I don't think you're ever going to respond to me
• 4:47
  again, the most effective way to get me to reach, to get you to
• 4:51
  reach out to me, to get you to break no contact is to call some
• 4:55
  chaos in your life, some unexplainable chaos that you
• 5:00
  know it's me and it makes you want to reach out to me.
• 5:04
  It makes you want to contact me. It makes you want to do this and
• 5:07
  do that. Yeah, it's a form of a Hoover.
• 5:09
  Don't like if you think like I I told her like you might want to
• 5:13
  call the police. I think that Telegram, I don't
• 5:14
  know if I messaged her there, but I I should have messaged her
• 5:16
  there. Sometimes you just want to
• 5:18
  report this, put it like get some cameras up, get some proof
• 5:21
  up. Like you don't want to break no
• 5:23
  contact, y'all? You don't want to break no
• 5:26
  contact because they use this as a form of Hoover there.
• 5:29
  Of course they're going to deny it mostly.
• 5:32
  Like they, like some of them might send you a yeah, maybe had
• 5:35
  the old ransom notes back in the day from the movies used to go
• 5:38
  how they'll send you a rant. They'll kidnap in the movies,
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  they'll kidnap your wife or your husband or whatever or your
• 5:43
  kids, and they'll send you a ransom note with, with letters
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  cut out from a magazine. You know, they'll do that type
• 5:49
  of stuff right there. They'll send you a ransom note
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  from a letter that's cut out from a magazine and you got to
• 5:55
  read it. Like, what the hell is this?
• 5:57
  That's the type of stuff, like you don't know who it's from.
• 5:59
  They'll send you letters and flowers and gifts like with no
• 6:02
  name of who it's from. I'm on this stuff hoping that
• 6:06
  you reach out to them. This is the type of stuff they
• 6:08
  do to get you to break no contact.
• 6:10
  This is a sneaky way the narcissist get you to break no
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  contact. They send you gifts, they cause
• 6:15
  damage, they wreak, they wreak chaos, they spread rumors.
• 6:18
  It's like they do this type of stuff because they want you to
• 6:21
  reach out to them. Because guess what?
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  They can always deny it. Unless you have irrefutable
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  proof, they'll still deny it. Even if you have irrefutable
• 6:29
  proof, they'll still deny it. They do this type of stuff just
• 6:33
  so you will deny it, just just so that like so you will, you
• 6:36
  will reach out to them and they can deny it.
• 6:39
  And they guess what? When they deny it, they'll try
• 6:41
  to get a conversation started. They'll try to open up the.
• 6:44
  They're trying to open up the access to them again.
• 6:48
  Hey, while I have you on the phone, it's nice hearing from
• 6:50
  you. I hate the circumstances that I
• 6:52
  have to hear from you on, but it's nice to hear from you
• 6:54
  nonetheless. But can we talk about what we
• 6:57
  went through? Can we talk about us?
• 6:59
  Can we talk about our relationship?
• 7:01
  Can we talk about this? Can we talk about.
• 7:02
  Yeah. They'll use it to try to suck
• 7:04
  you back into a relationship. And does this work sometimes?
• 7:07
  Yes, it does. That will never work on me, Lee.
• 7:10
  Yeah, I'm glad it would never work on you, but it works on
• 7:12
  some people. It does, because you.
• 7:15
  You might miss the person, you might still be actively trauma
• 7:19
  bonded to this person that's sending you.
• 7:23
  You might still be active, you might still be actively trauma
• 7:26
  bonded to this person that's sending you and doing this type
• 7:28
  of stuff. And some people, you know, and
• 7:32
  some people are struggling with this, right?
• 7:34
  Some people struggle so much with this, like because you're
• 7:36
  trauma bonded to this person. And some people see this as a
• 7:40
  form, like see this as a sign that your narcissistic ex still
• 7:45
  cares because well, well, they if they didn't care, they
• 7:49
  wouldn't key my car if they didn't.
• 7:51
  I'm not saying about you. I'm not saying this about you,
• 7:53
  doctor, as if you watched the video.
• 7:58
  I'm just saying this is how some people might think like I would,
• 8:00
  I would. Well, they might.
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  They must care about me since they keyed my car.
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  They must care about me since they sending me letters and
• 8:07
  flowers and jewelry and APS 5 game.
• 8:10
  They must care about me since they are spreading rumors.
• 8:14
  They must still care about me. So that must mean I.
• 8:17
  They could mean that they care. They could mean that they've
• 8:19
  changed. They could mean that I should
• 8:21
  give them another chance. No, it does not mean.
• 8:23
  It just means that being what they're finding.
• 8:25
  It just means that they're finding other ways to be
• 8:29
  manipulative. That's what it means.
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  That's what it means right there.
• 8:36
  It really does. It really, really does.
• 8:39
  That's exactly what it means. Like you have to heal, you have
• 8:43
  to grow, you have to work through this type of stuff.
• 8:46
  You really do. Don't break no contact.
• 8:49
  You don't break no contact. Don't give them, you know, don't
• 8:53
  give them that power. Empower yourself.
• 8:57
  Keep moving forward. Call the damn if they keep doing
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  this stuff and they keep escalating you, the behaviors
• 9:01
  keep escalating. It goes from a, it goes from a,
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  an unnamed note to A to your, to some flowers or gifts to your,
• 9:10
  your key getting caught, your car getting keyed up.
• 9:13
  How about I say your key getting caught up, your car getting
• 9:15
  keyed up to somebody knocking out your door in the middle of
• 9:18
  the night. The behaviors are escalating.
• 9:20
  If it's escalating, call the damn police.
• 9:23
  All the police are going to be helpful all the time.
• 9:25
  Let's be real. No, they're not.
• 9:26
  Some of them are like, well, how do you know it's them?
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  Call us when you have evidence. Call us when you have proof that
• 9:33
  it's them. Let us know when you have proof.
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  Some people or like some people might think you're making stuff
• 9:40
  up. Yeah, but report it nonetheless.
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  When I say report it nonetheless, it doesn't mean
• 9:45
  like you have to tell them to leave you alone.
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  Like, if they're harassing you, that's a charge anyway.
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  That's a that's a charge in and of itself.
• 9:52
  If they're actively being harassing towards you, if
• 9:56
  they're actively harassing you, if they're being active in their
• 10:00
  harassment, you might have a case against them.
• 10:04
  You see what I'm saying? This is how you, This is why you
• 10:07
  have to empower yourself in a lot of these situations.
• 10:09
  You really, really do. Like don't let them back into
• 10:12
  your life. You don't have to accuse them.
• 10:14
  You know, if you know it's them, just say, hey, look, hey, police
• 10:18
  my car, my car randomly got keyed up.
• 10:20
  I begin to notes. I recently broke up with my
• 10:23
  boyfriend and my girlfriend. I recently got separated from my
• 10:25
  husband and wife and this type of stuff started happening.
• 10:29
  Like I just need to file a report.
• 10:31
  I'm not, I'm not trying to press charges right now.
• 10:33
  Sometimes you can't press charges without the evidence.
• 10:36
  I just need to file this report to get this case open or
• 10:38
  whatever. So when I call back y'all know
• 10:40
  to come bring your asses. Bring your bring your asses out
• 10:43
  here. My office is right that right
• 10:48
  right next door to the Police Department downtown.
• 10:50
  You know, But this is the type of stuff that happens y'all.
• 10:53
  Be safe, protect yourselves at all costs, and come to my
• 10:56
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• 11:01
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• 11:04
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• 11:06
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• 11:09
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• 11:46
  Peace, I hit the button. Oh my goodness.
• 11:51
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 11:53
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• 12:09
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• 12:11
  Peace.