Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Some narcissists will do anything to FIT IN or STAND OUT

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Some narcissists will do anything to FIT IN or STAND OUT · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be talking about how some narcissists will
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  do anything to fit in, while others will do anything to try
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  and stand out. If you new here, my name is Lee
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  Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and welcome to another episode of The
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  Narcissist Code. So boom, welcome back, welcome
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  back, welcome back, folks. Yes, there, you know, so there
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  we all know, or you all know that there are different types
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  of narcissistic people, right? There are covert narcissists and
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  there are overt or malignant narcissists.
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  There's a lot of different types, but those are the two
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  main types that they fall into, right?
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  So there are narcissists that will do anything to fit in, to
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  fit into a social circle or to a job or, you know, career or
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  whatever it is to fit into an environment, while others will
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  do anything to stand out within that same environment.
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  And that's typically the baseline difference.
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  What are the baseline differences between covert and
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  overt narcissists? How they, they have the same
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  goal, right? The goal is power, control,
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  manipulation, right? But they go about it in
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  different ways, you know? Covert narcissist.
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  Covert. The word.
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  Yeah, the word is covert. It's covert sneaky, you know,
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  sneaky like, you know, they're tiptoeing around overt malignant
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  narcissist. You see them coming a mile away,
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  they peacocking. You know, you're, you're like,
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  damn you. Why are you so damn loud for no
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  reason? You know what I mean, one of
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  the, the best examples of this that I have in my real life as
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  one of my old friends, he was a very malignant overt narcissist
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  like scammer did like pretty much the, the, what's that?
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  What's that thing on Netflix, The Tinder Swindler, the Fyre
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  Festival, that type of person right there, you know, that type
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  of person. Just the, the, just the big time
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  scammers and whatnot, the big time people to go out there and
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  try to ruin other people's lives and do things like that.
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  They're like I said, that happens quite a bit.
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  Like, and that's one of the main differences between malignant
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  and covert over narcissist. It really is one of those things
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  right there. Like I tell people all the time,
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  like one of the main key differences is that part right
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  there, how they go about achieving their goals, how, how
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  they go about achieving their dreams or following their dreams
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  or whatnot. It it just happens to be in that
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  space and I I want to tell and covert narcissist because
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  they're sneaky, because they're covert.
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  And yes, I was, let me say this first.
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  Yes, there are some narcissist who bounce between the two who
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  bounce between being covert and overt.
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  There are some narcissist that that do both just depending on
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  their environment. I will be that's kind of what I
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  fall into as well sometimes. So there's some narcissist that
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  bounce between both, right? But the covert narcissist is the
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  type of narcissist that will absolutely do this type of thing
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  right here, that will do anything to try to covertly, you
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  know, get into an environment covertly fit in.
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  You know, they don't want to make too much noise while
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  they're achieving their their while their scheme or their plan
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  is coming to fruition. They're right.
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  There is just that happens so much.
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  And I try to convey that to people like covert narcissists.
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  And some people would say covert narcissists are more dangerous
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  than overt. You know, it really depends on
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  who you're dealing with. Every, every narcissist is going
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  to be different, right? And every narcissist has a
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  different has a has levels of danger to them.
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  But cover narcissists are harder to detect because they are not
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  loud and obnoxious people. They don't ruffle too many
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  feathers. They're sneaking around, doing
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  anything to try to, anything to try to fit in.
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  They don't want to be noticed, but they want their power and
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  control. They want to climb, you know, in
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  a corporate environment. They want to climb the corporate
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  ladder by alienating people silently, by spreading rumors,
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  by doing things like that. So they'll do anything it takes
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  to fit in with like brown nose. What do you call it?
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  Brown nosing the boss, you know, rubbing shoulders with the boss
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  that they eventually want to replace the boss that they
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  really, really hate. The boss says they cannot stand
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  and they want their position, but they know.
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  It's like I can't out them just yet.
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  Let me climb the corporate ladder and then I will
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  eventually replace this person. That's the mindset of a lot of
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  covert narcissists. Let me do what it takes to fit
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  in. Let me do what it takes to sneak
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  around in this environment. And nobody would.
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  Nobody would know my plan until the plan is popping up, until
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  the plan is coming through, until the plan is actually in
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  motion. That's the space that so many
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  people fall into right there. That's the area, the OR or the
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  arena that so many people fall into.
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  So many covert narcissists. That's why they're so hard to
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  detect, because they'll do anything to fit in, anything to
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  go unnoticed, anything to protect their reputation.
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  Because if you see them for who they really are, if you have the
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  power or the ability to expose them, you become Public Enemy
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  number one. And they will try to silently,
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  silently, or sometimes not so silently take you out to
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  alienate you, to get you away from them.
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  They will absolutely do that. So many of them will do that.
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  So many of them have this, this grand scheme, this plan within
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  their minds that they want to take you out of here, but they
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  don't understand how. So they just, they, they'll,
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  they'll start spreading rumors to try to get other people to
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  hate you. This happens in the workplace a
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  lot. This happens in friend groups a
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  lot. This could happen in a
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  relationship. You know, if you're in a
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  relationship with a jealous ass partner, they could be trying to
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  silently supplant you, solidly replace you with somebody else
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  and be talking crap about you behind your back, be starting a
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  like a silent smear campaign against you, be spreading rumors
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  about you to their friends. So when they do pop out, when
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  they do pop out with a new supply, they already know what's
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  going on right there. You know that that that's what
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  happens in so many of these spaces right there.
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  That's what happens in so many of these dynamics and so many of
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  these lives. So some narcissists will do
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  anything it takes to fit in because they still want that
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  power. They just want to go about it
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  and pop out in control, pop out in charge without being noticed.
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  They still have the same goal as the malignant narcissist, the
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  overt narcissist, the outgoing, the extroverted narcissist,
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  right? They just go about it in a
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  different way. Now.
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  The other side of the coin, you flip the coin.
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  The other side of the coin, you have the overt malignant
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  narcissist, the, you know, the outgoing narcissist, the
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  extroverted narcissist, the loud boisterous person that wants to
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  know, that wants you to know exactly who they are and exactly
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  what they're here to do and wants you to know that you are
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  powerless to stop it. You know that you are, that you
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  are powerless to stop it in any way, shape or form.
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  That there's nothing you can do in this situation right here.
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  Like I'm coming, you see me coming, and there's nothing you
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  can do to stop it. If you do try to stop it, it's
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  just because you're jealous of me.
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  It's just because you, you know, I'm better than you, you know,
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  they, they, they go about in a different way.
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  They want to do anything to stand out in the clubs and the
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  bars. So you see this, the person is
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  being loud as hell for no reason, is buying the bar
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  drinks, Hey, drinks on me, everybody, you know, loud as
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  hell in the workplace. That people, you know, the way I
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  would describe my old malignant friend is that people either
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  really liked him or they could not stand his ass.
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  There was no in between. Like they wouldn't say like, oh,
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  oh, he's OK, you know, Oh, John's cool.
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  John's great. You know, you either really
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  hated him or you really liked him.
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  There was literally no in between.
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  You couldn't stand his ass or you just love to be around him
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  because he bought energy and he got, you know, he had, he had
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  people wanted to be around him. Oh, goodness gracious.
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  I said it just happened. My church, I hit the button on
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  my chair. I went low.
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  That happened. That happens though, so they
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  want you to know that they're coming.
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  Don't do anything that stand out dressed differently, act
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  differently. Change their hair colors, change
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  their appearance. You know, get a big tattoo
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  across their chest or their face or their back or they, you know,
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  shave all their hair off be loud, you know, just peacocking
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  the best of everything, the nicest cars, the best clothes,
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  the best purses, the best wallets, whatever it is, they
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  want you to know that they are coming.
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  They want you to know that they are better than you.
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  They do, but because, but at the end of the day, they are super
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  insecure people. It doesn't take much to hurt
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  their feelings. It doesn't take much to to cause
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  a narcissistic injury. Even if they are allowed and
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  boisterous people, even if they are outgoing people, it doesn't
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  take much to hurt that type of person because they are their
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  egos are truly are extremely fragile.
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  They're extremely easy to break, extremely easy to hurt.
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  So that's what I'm telling you, if you're dealing with a toxic
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  narcissistic person, this is kind of like, I understand this
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  is the, the future that you face, but like this is, this can
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  help you understand the type of narcissistic person that you're
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  dealing with. And the more you understand the
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  type of narcissistic person you're dealing with, the better
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  off you are with learning how to communicate with this person,
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  learning how to balance, balance things with this person,
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  learning how to deal with this person on a grander scheme.
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  Because they are going, yeah, they are trying to hurt you.
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  They are trying to get you, they're trying to achieve power
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  and control. They're trying to do they're,
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  they're trying to take, take you over.
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  Let's be real with it. You know they're, they're trying
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  to take over. They just go about, they have
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  the same goals. Covert narcissists and overt
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  narcissists have the same goal at the end of the day, they just
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  go about achieving those goals differently.
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  They have the same plans. They want power and control like
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  me and my me and my old overt friend, we used to talk about
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  this like that. We, we are just alike.
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  We just go about it in a different ways.
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  People can't stand you and when I'm around you they don't notice
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  who I am. So I like being around you.
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  Some covert narcissists like to be around with each other right?
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  You know some covert narcissist like to be around like some
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  covert and over narcissist form these friendships because they
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  have the same goal. They are just alike, but they
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  just go about achieving those goals and dreams in different
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  ways. It really, really is a crazy
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  dynamic and I hope this video brought you some clarity out.
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  But I do have to hop over here like and subscribe to the
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  channel. If you already haven't.
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  Join my support groups, take the courses.
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  I'm working on another course right now about healing from a
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  narcissistic relationship. I have a course about
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  understanding the seven stages of a of a toxic relationship.
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  But I have another course coming out soon about healing from it.
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  So thank y'all so much like and subscribe mentally misses out
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  peace. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. I am extremely grateful for you
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  have no idea. If you haven't already, make
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  sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel.
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  Help us reach more people and click on the screen to watch
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  another video or to browse through another playlist.
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  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
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  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
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  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.