Latest / The OneCry Podcast / #207 Revival in Your Home (God's Order - Part 2)

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#207 Revival in Your Home (God's Order - Part 2) · The OneCry Podcast

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  Music.
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  The goal, accelerating the movement of God through sharing revival truth, stories, and reports.
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  Welcome to the One Cry podcast. I wonder how many times I've said that.
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  Probably quite a few. A lot. And I'm grateful because we love doing this.
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  And we're just so grateful that you turn in and listen.
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  And a lot of people do it in the car or in your home or wherever you are.
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  That's the cool thing about a podcast is you can get some biblical teaching
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  and audio or video either way.
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  And we're just thankful you join us, that you give us a little time. So thanks.
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  And I'm Bill Eliff. And if you've been watching the last two episodes,
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  this is my wife, Holly, and mother of eight, grandmother, she doesn't like that
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  term, honey, of 27 grandkids.
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  And when they all come, which they do regularly, is we have what?
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  44. 44 in our house eating our food and demolishing many things.
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  It's like I liken it to, you know, in Moses' day when that plague where the
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  locusts came through and it just stripped the land.
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  That's very similar to what our family is like when they show up. But we love it.
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  And then they leave and we think, oh, my, this is great.
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  And then like three days later, we want them all to come back.
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  Maybe not three days, but pretty soon.
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  I don't think you would say three days. No, not really three days. Yes.
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  Well, I asked Holly to join us because we're talking about something that is.
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  Unbelievably foundational to real revival and spiritual awakening.
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  Every great movement of God has moved on individuals' lives,
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  and it's moved corporately in churches, but it's not revival if it doesn't impact the home.
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  That's where life is lived, isn't it, Ali? I mean, when you,
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  you know, pull down the, shut the curtains and doors, that's who you really are.
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  It all comes out.
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  And that's why it's such a laboratory. That's why it's such a revealing,
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  convicting place and the place where you got to say, okay, am I going to do
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  this or not? Am I going to walk with God or not?
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  Well, it's the place where we need the Lord the most. Yeah, yeah.
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  Because in our relationships, if we don't hand those over to him, we cannot do it well.
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  Yeah, and everybody can be real spiritual on a date, on one date.
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  But 50 years into marriage.
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  We're 20, 40. Yeah, wherever.
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  Who you are really comes out, and who you are makes you really need the Lord.
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  And so we're talking about how to have that in the home.
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  And we've been talking very practically. We're looking at embracing God's plan for our home.
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  If we don't do that, we'll never find real revival. because his plan is revival. It leads to revival.
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  And we're talking in last week out of Colossians chapter 3, the first verses.
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  About finding God's order and looking into heaven.
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  Paul says in Colossians 3, 1, set your mind on the things above where Christ
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  is seated at the right hand of God.
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  Because you've died, you're a new person and your life is hidden with Christ and God. You can do that.
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  And through the word of God and the spirit of God, we can literally live in
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  the heavenlies. And he even says in those verses, Holly, set your mind on the
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  things above where Christ is, not on the things of earth.
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  The reason we have chaos is we're just setting our minds on the things of earth
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  and we worry and we're fearful and we're upset and we're not finding God and
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  his ways and his plan and bringing heaven down to earth.
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  So revival is when you bring heaven down.
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  Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it's being done in heaven.
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  And you bring heavenly order into earthly chaos.
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  And so that's why in Colossians 3, when he gives us that admonition to set our
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  minds there and pray that way, he immediately begins to talk about our homes.
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  It's fascinating. The first time I read that, I thought, why is he talking about
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  the home? Well, that's the laboratory.
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  And last time we began to see that how we do this, and he gets real practical.
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  He says, husbands, here's how you bring heaven down.
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  In heaven, the husband loves his wife and forgives his wife.
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  That's what Christ does to his bride, the church. And so, husband,
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  you want to have it in your home?
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  You've got to love the same way Christ loved. And we talked about that last
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  time. If you want to hear that, go back and listen to that podcast.
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  But then he goes on and he addresses the wives. And we want to see that and
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  the children and the fathers.
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  So, honey, he says here in verse 18, in this context of looking at heaven and
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  bringing heaven down, he says,
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  wives, be subject to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord.
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  I'm not even going to attempt. I could, but I'm not going to attempt to define submission.
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  Uh you you know
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  that and you've taught women for uh decades about
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  this what does it mean really for a wife to submit to her husband it's it's
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  a choice for sure and many many times it's a hard choice but uh it says wives
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  submit yourselves to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord.
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  So I don't think it's something we can do apart from him.
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  So we have to go to the Lord many times to be able to submit with a right heart toward our husbands.
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  And so we're not responsible for making them do the right thing,
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  but we are responsible for how we respond to what they're doing.
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  That matters. You know, John Piper and Wayne Grudem in their classic book.
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  Said that submission speaks of the spirit and disposition to gladly yield to
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  your husband's leadership.
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  Do you agree with that? And then how does that, how does that,
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  I mean, it's got, We know the word means to yield.
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  I think it's probably exactly the right thing to do.
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  But whether or not we can gladly yield to those things, sometimes they're really hard.
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  And so what we need the most is to run to the Lord so he can give us the ability
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  then to respond in the right way to our husbands.
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  I know in the past, you and I used to talk about, when we were teaching on these things, about.
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  Recognizing God's divine order and being willing to have it so.
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  So I think that's why he says, look into heaven. That's the picture.
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  And that's the power for this. It comes from heaven.
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  So in heaven, you see the bride and her response to Jesus.
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  Now that's easier in heaven because it's to Jesus.
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  But that's the ultimate. That's the illustration.
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  And it's yielding to him, but it's not subservient, is it?
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  It's not like your brain on a shelf or your neck under his foot or something like that.
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  I mean, that's not what real submission is about, but it's recognizing, hey, there's an order.
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  There's got to be an order in the home.
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  Every home has, and I'm going to yield to that, and I'm going to do it in the power of the Spirit.
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  Does that make sense? Yeah, I do think that it helps us to know how much we
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  need the Lord, because many, many times it's hard to yield about certain things.
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  Maybe you aren't agreeing on them, but we can always take it to the Lord before
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  we maybe say everything we want to say to our husband.
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  So submitting in that way just means that we get in a closet if we have to,
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  and we go to the Lord and we say, Lord, I don't even know how to respond to this in the right way.
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  So would you help me know what I'm supposed to say or do to respond to my husband
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  in this moment? Now, let me ask you two questions.
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  Number one, are there any places where you are not called to submit?
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  There are. And there are places that the Lord shares.
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  About what we don't need to do because it's wrong.
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  It's unbiblical. Unbiblical. Violating a clear biblical command.
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  For instance, if you want to have children and your husband doesn't want to
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  do that, and he says you need to get an abortion when you get pregnant,
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  that is something that the Lord abhors.
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  And so he says we shall not murder, and abortion is murder.
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  So something like that or to be involved in pornography. Yeah,
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  watch pornography tonight.
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  I mean, it's the right thing to say, no, I'm not going to do that.
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  And so there are limits to that, but they're way fewer than we think.
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  A lot of women, I think, would look at this and say, well, I just don't like
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  doing that or I don't agree with the way it's going.
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  But even then, I heard one woman say,
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  maybe in Kay Arthur years ago, saying, submission is ducking so God can hit
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  your husband if he needs to. And I agree.
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  As long as you're trying to correct me, that's one thing.
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  And it's not like we don't talk about stuff and bring up stuff.
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  We should, but we do it in a respectful way.
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  And I think it's honoring the husband's role, you know, in the home and his
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  responsibility and letting God,
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  if he doesn't respond the proper way, letting the Lord, just trusting the Lord
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  to take care of that in that husband's life.
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  And I do think, you know, there are many, many things in scripture where people
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  had to run to the Lord to get wisdom and to know how to respond to it.
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  And I do think many times for women, it's hard.
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  I have met with so many women who are in hard circumstances in their home.
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  And so that woman needs to become a woman who runs first to the Lord.
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  She's submitting to him, to the Lord, and then submitting to her husband.
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  He grants wisdom and peace when we cannot change the circumstances, but it's hard.
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  I know many, it seems like God brings you, has for years, tough cases and tough situations.
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  And just because of your years of study and experience, if somebody,
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  some woman says, well, I don't know if I should submit here or I don't know how to submit,
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  would it be helpful that you go to the Lord, go to his word, but go to a godly woman.
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  See a woman who has a submissive heart. You know, people come to you because
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  they see that in you and you've helped them, you know.
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  Well, and if you're in a dangerous situation, be honest about it.
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  Oh, yeah. And because the Lord also speaks into those things that should not
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  be happening. And get some good counsel.
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  Well, one final thing about this passage. He says, be submissive to your husbands as is fitting.
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  What do you think that word means, as is fitting?
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  Well, that's interesting. I do think, you know, when you are choosing what you're
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  going to wear, what you're going to put on, you don't choose something that doesn't fit.
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  You have to find something that fits you well, that you're comfortable in.
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  And we don't have the ability in our own strength to respond to our husbands
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  in the right way in many, many situations.
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  But what we can do is step into the closet and get what we need that fits us
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  so that we can ask him, how do I respond to this? What do I say?
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  You know, and we can also say to the Lord, I can't change this, but you can.
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  And so we hand it over to him and we're honest about what our needs are so that
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  our husband at least knows of those things.
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  And then we have open hands before the Lord and hand it over to him.
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  And, you know, I think, Ale, as is fitting in the Lord, I think—.
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  If you don't develop a heart, a submissive heart, a respectful heart that honors your husband.
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  Your husband needs help, and he needs a cheerleader.
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  And most husbands are not just total jerks, you know, Christian husbands.
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  They're good guys who want to do well, and they don't know what to do.
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  And they need a cheerleader, and they need a helper.
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  And if they feel like they're constantly their wife is, you know,
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  seeing all the bad things and not helping him in the good things,
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  the greatest way to motivate your husband is to have a respectful, honoring heart.
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  And it's fitting.
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  You know, every husband has seen his wife get dressed up and look at her and
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  say, oh, man, you look beautiful. That outfit really fits you well.
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  And I think when a wife puts on this spirit of submission, it really fits her well.
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  And it's pleasing to the Lord, first of all.
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  He's saying, that's the way I want you to live. And then it's pleasing to those
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  around her, a model to her children and a beautiful gift to her husband.
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  So that's what brings revival. And I think we have to ask the women here on
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  the call today. Are you, do you want to bring heaven into your home?
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  And this is, of all the things that God could have said, it's fascinating that he says this one thing.
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  He says to husbands, love your wives and forgive them. He says to wives, forgive.
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  Have a submissive, respectful, honoring heart to your husband.
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  Then he says to children, he goes on in this passage, and we won't take a lot
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  of time here, but he says, children, obey your parents, for this is right.
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  You know, it's just right.
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  And you want to bring heaven into your home, then into the earthly chaos.
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  Plus, you have to teach your children how to obey their parents.
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  This is not just getting them to do stuff so that we can survive, right?
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  It's teaching them to obey the authorities in their life, because if they don't
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  learn that, they won't obey the greater authority.
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  They won't obey God. They'll find it hard. And, man, the whole role of discipline,
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  godly, biblical, good discipline in the home is so critical.
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  And children are not going to naturally obey.
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  I heard one guy, two guys were talking and said, do you think your children
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  are rebellious and they're sinful? He said, sinful.
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  He said, I believe they can be demon possessed. He said, so we all have sin natures.
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  And so children are just going to naturally go down the wrong path.
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  And God has put you as a parent in their life to help them, to help them.
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  And that's why good training, good discipline, just to let your kid just go
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  wild, it brings chaos involved, right?
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  Now, discipline is hard work. It's not, I don't want to get out of the chair.
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  I want to just yell across the room and say, stop doing that.
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  And after the third time, use their whole name and then threaten,
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  and then it just escalates like this.
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  And I remember, Holly, when we were young and just starting out with our kids,
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  we heard James Dobson teaching on this about training kids. And he drew a graph.
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  And down here at the bottom, he just started doing a line. And he said,
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  now, look, when your kid is disobeying or he's got something, you can say, stop that.
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  And if they don't stop, you can just ignore that and say, stop that.
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  And you raise your voice and then stop that and then stop that.
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  And then William Robert Evers, stop that right now. And then you bring on the
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  discipline, whatever that is, appropriate biblical discipline.
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  Or he said, down here at the bottom, you can say, hey, son, stop that.
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  And if you don't stop that, then we're going to go to the next step.
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  And then you get out of your chair and you do the hard work of disciplining
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  your child, loving them in that moment.
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  And you set that marker wherever you want to set it. I also remember him saying
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  in one of his books that trying to keep your child safe.
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  Moving in the right direction is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree.
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  That's right. I don't know. Yeah, it's hard. You know, there's nothing simple
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  about it, but it has to be consistent for it to work.
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  And that's why God's given parents to children.
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  I mean, you know, train them up in the nurture, in the admonition of the Lord.
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  So we could talk more about that. But if this is not happening,
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  if children are not, to the degree that children are not obeying their parents
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  and parents are not helping children obey, it brings chaos into the home.
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  And, boy, you let that out of the barn for years.
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  You've got real chaos. Steve Green has a song where he says.
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  Bring up your child in the way he should go so that as he grows, he will follow the Lord.
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  And he's got just the truth in that song.
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  And if we start when our kids are little, it will make a huge difference because
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  being an adolescent is coming.
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  So we need to be careful. Every child is just a small adult.
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  You know, they're fast becoming who they will one day be.
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  And building the right adult kind of behaviors, love, forgiveness,
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  you know, obedience here is really critical and easier than trying to get it 10 years later.
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  There's one final thing that this passage says that brings revival in the home, and it says this.
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  Fathers, do not exasperate your children so that they will not lose heart.
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  And that's a fascinating phrase. Number one, why does he say that to fathers?
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  Well, because I think the reason he does is because that fathers should be a
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  primary discipliners to their children.
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  And that also fathers have the capacity to really exasperate their kids.
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  They can have a heavy hand, the wrong approach.
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  I thought about this, honey, and it says don't exasperate your children.
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  So they just lose heart. They just give up.
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  They don't exasperate is a word that means provoke.
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  You rouse them to anger and you discourage them. And here are some ways I just
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  wrote down that we can exasperate our kids by continually using the past, bringing up the past.
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  It feels like they never can win. They never can get off the mat.
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  They're never really forgiven by not letting up in a conversation.
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  In other words, you said something and they say, OK, and then you said 10 more
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  times and they say, OK, OK, OK. And all of a sudden it blows up.
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  Why? You've just exasperated them.
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  Don't treat them like they're stupid. You've said something.
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  They understand it. And so you don't have to constantly repeat a command.
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  By making unreasonable demands, by asking them to do something that they just
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  can't do, that will exasperate them. By not listening to your children.
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  By not balancing discipline with affirmation.
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  A child feels that you're just there to serve your needs and there's no love,
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  no desire for relationship by comparison to other children, particularly.
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  Well, this is a huge, I'm not good enough, you know, and my dad likes them more
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  than he does me by insufficient expressions of love.
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  I had a room full of about 200 men one time, and I asked him,
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  how many of you, your father never told you one time that he loved you?
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  Probably 75% of the room.
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  And so it's easy to do this, apparently.
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  And we see that in our histories, but we know it's easy because he wouldn't have addressed it here.
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  And all he could have said, he just says, look, husband, love your wife.
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  Wife, be submissive to your husband, children will obey your parents.
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  And by the way, dads, don't train your children in a way that makes them lose heart.
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  You can crush them. You're a big guy. They're little people. You can crush them.
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  And if you want to bring chaos in the home, crush their spirit,
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  you know, by the way that you're disciplining them.
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  If you want to bring heaven in the home, now think about this,
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  back to our original truth.
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  Look up into heaven and see how God disciplines us.
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  He's consistent.
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  He's firm. He's fair.
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  But it's always done with love and a desire to an affirmation of who you are,
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  but the behavior that needs to be adjusted in your life.
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  Well, we've been talking, Holly, about how to bring revival to your home and
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  how to bring the last two weeks about how to bring heavenly order into the earthly
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  chaos that is often our home.
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  And let me just take a moment and pray for that.
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  Let's just pray this in for just a minute and join me as I pray.
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  Don't just listen, but really pray with me right there where you are. Let's pray.
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  Father, we thank you for this incredible truth.
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  I pray that all of us who've listened today would go back to Colossians 3,
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  and we would study and memorize verses out of this so much that it really becomes
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  a part of us and drives our behavior and our responses.
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  And Lord, I pray that you would bring heaven down. I pray that the order that's in heaven.
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  And the roles that are established and the right, beautiful way in heaven that
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  those roles are fulfilled and the power, the heavenly power,
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  which it takes to fulfill those roles.
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  I pray that all of that we would allow to come down by our cooperation with you in these things.
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  Lord, teach us as husbands how to love our wives and not be bitter and to forgive them.
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  Teach us as dads how to not exasperate our children so they lose heart.
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  Teach us as wives how to submit to our husbands as is fitting in the Lord.
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  And teach our children, help us help them learn how to obey their parents.
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  And, Father, we pray for a fresh movement of revival in every heart and every
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  home that's listening today. And we pray that for your glory and in your name. Amen. Amen.
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  Amen. Well, honey, thanks for being here.
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  And by the way, thanks for being here for 52 years. And I appreciate that.
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  And I know some of you are just listening to this, and you can't see,
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  but I'm kissing my wife. Oh, my goodness.
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  Right now, on the cheek.
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  So, you know, after 52 years, you can do that just as much as you want to.
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  You could do it the first year, too. Yeah, I know, and we did.
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  So that's how we ended up with eight kids.
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  All right. Well, thank you. We better get off air here. So, all right,
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  listen, we're going to continue on this theme of Revival of the Home.
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  We've got a few more things that we want to talk about in Scripture.
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  So I hope you join us next time.
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  Music.