Latest / Mommywood / Always creating, always stylish and raising kids in a different financial bracket - Sam Gutstadt

Transcript

Always creating, always stylish and raising kids in a different financial bracket - Sam Gutstadt · Mommywood

0:00
Mom. Hey, I'm your host Emily bolts.
0:10
I'm an actor, teacher, and a new mom.
0:13
Once I became pregnant, I went on a hunt for answers to all my
0:17
questions about being a working actor.
0:19
Mom, and what did I find practically?
0:22
Nothing. So here I am asking all the
0:25
questions to try to figure out how people do it how our mothers
0:29
balancing Ting. I'm not balancing Parenthood in
0:33
this crazy and just re join me and my amazing guests as we take
0:37
a real look into the lives of working moms in the
0:41
entertainment industry. On today's episode of mommy,
0:45
would we are talking to Sam God's dad, who is an actress
0:50
content? Creator writer a podcaster.
0:53
You gotta listen to her podcast where the bodies are buried.
0:57
She is the other half of don't call me.
1:00
Mommy, she is a mom of three and she is a fashionista to say the
1:09
least. She is always so stylish while
1:15
being so busy. I don't know how she does it,
1:17
but I talked to her and try and figure out a little bit, a
1:20
little insight into how she does it all.
1:24
I love talking to Sam. It was really funny.
1:28
I say the beginning of the episode, Odd that it's really
1:31
full circle because I used to help teach a little music class
1:36
to her boys at the preschool that they went to which was so
1:41
funny and interesting because of course, feeling like such an
1:47
outsider being not a mom yet at the time being one of the
1:51
teachers and now being in those classes as a mom is so bizarre.
1:59
It's very Change for me, but besides the point, talking to
2:03
Sam was so great. It was interesting hearing her
2:08
where she started and how she got to where she is now.
2:13
And the difference in how her, youngest daughter is being
2:20
brought up as opposed to her two sons as because now they are
2:27
more financially stable. Then they were with her too
2:32
young to older boys. So it was really interesting to
2:35
hear what she had to say about kind of going through the Gambit
2:40
of financially with having children.
2:45
So that was really cool to hear her perspective on being on both
2:52
sides of the coin. Also, I thought it was so sweet
2:56
that her full-time Nanny now. Is the woman who's been with
3:02
them from the very beginning with her.
3:04
First son, they have gone from having her from like, two days a
3:08
week to now she's full time. So again, that's another one of
3:13
those things, the difference of being financially far more
3:20
stable and having more of that help we talked about how after
3:28
having her second son, is really when her career shifted and all
3:32
these things started to change for her and that she was able to
3:38
use becoming a mom to really push forward her career, and her
3:46
creativity and allow her to use her, creativity and use all
3:51
these insane crazy things that nobody tells us about being a
3:58
mom, too. And use comedy to to get through
4:05
it all basically. So I really hope you enjoyed
4:09
this episode. It was so wonderful having Sam
4:13
on this podcast and I appreciate her being on the podcast so
4:17
much. She's so lovely.
4:19
So please enjoy this episode of mommy would with Sam got said I
4:24
needed to shower. Yeah, like yesterday did
4:28
Mother's Day see Click the hair back.
4:30
I was like, oh my God, I need to wash my hair.
4:32
Yeah, for sure. Um, how are you?
4:37
I'm good. How are you?
4:39
I'm good. This is very full circle from me
4:45
doing mr. Parker music classes with you.
4:50
Piper, yes. Like, very, I love it.
4:54
Oh yeah, it's so funny. So I'm just curious about Our
5:00
whole experience as a mother and being an industry and how you
5:07
what your background is and just everything.
5:13
Will you just like, start me off with, like, what's your
5:17
background? And like, where are you
5:18
originally from? And coming out to California and
5:23
all that. Yeah, and yeah, it is motherhood
5:26
of the big impact on kind of where my kid, it happened.
5:28
So I'll survive. I grew up in Toronto, Canada.
5:33
I was actually competitive tennis player from young age.
5:36
I did dance as well, and I at the age of five, I came home
5:40
from like camp and told my mom, I wanted to be in commercials
5:43
and like it's Toronto. It was an LA where there's an
5:45
industry. My dad's a lawyer, my mom's a
5:47
teacher. They're like, what, but they put
5:50
me in like, a modeling class or like, some some acting modeling
5:53
class. And I started to book jobs, I
5:55
was five then I stopped and then at Around 14.
6:01
I started professionally acting and doing print work.
6:05
So it's kind of like, beginning. I'd like a little start at 5 and
6:09
I really like went for it. And my mom put me in.
6:14
I actually really wanted to do comedy so I went into a teen
6:17
Second City class, of course improv.
6:20
And that's where I really developed by like, passion for
6:22
comedy. But I really was getting cast.
6:25
I did a lot of print I mean gosh, I've been on like If you
6:29
Harlequin book covers, I did waste over.
6:32
I did like a lot of clothing ads lifestyle print.
6:37
I did a ton of commercials and I did theater in Canada Toronto
6:40
specifically at the time. I feel like as an actor, you
6:44
were able to like do a lot of different things like it wasn't
6:47
as narrow until I got to l.a. because I was like a theater
6:50
actor, a voiceover actor, commercial actor, print model
6:53
like it was everything. Yeah, and I did that, I did that
6:57
really Ali from 14 until 25 26. In Toronto I went to film school
7:05
so I actually got to learn while I was still professionally
7:08
acting and modeling. I got to learn a lot about
7:10
production writing. I mean it was four years of like
7:14
the most fun making movies undergrad degree and I realized
7:18
I loved writing that's and producing ice as a producer but
7:22
I really enjoyed writing and creating taking an idea and
7:26
bringing it to life, it felt like birthing a baby.
7:28
Baby and I wasn't a mom yet, but it reminded me of that feeling.
7:31
If you're starting with nothing and you create this amazing like
7:34
baby. Yeah, then I got married at like
7:39
20 for and my now husband who is my fiance at the time.
7:46
I've got a movie in LA and shortly during that time we got
7:51
married. So it was like, we'd been
7:52
married for maybe three four months, And it got my 01, which
7:56
is like a Visa as a Canadian to come over to the state's very
8:00
hard to get. You have to prove extraordinary
8:02
ability in your field which is hilarious.
8:04
Wow, security, like, Mike Myers had gotten it and like, all
8:08
these other vid Canadian like Comedians.
8:11
And I was like, oh my God, I'm in the same category.
8:13
Is them outside. 01. Yeah.
8:15
And so came to La, I was set up with a manager here through my
8:20
Canadian agent. So I was in good hands.
8:23
Yeah. Right away.
8:24
I saying, My started booking movies, but not comedy.
8:27
It was all Thrillers, was grateful to be working.
8:29
I did like moving moving movie. I did a lot of commercials right
8:33
away as well. So I was making money.
8:35
But something in me wasn't satisfied, and I think it was
8:38
because I'm still dying to a right.
8:42
And create, and I was tired of the process of like auditioning
8:46
waiting. Do I get the part do I not get
8:48
the part? Is it, is it even a character
8:50
on, like, dying to play, but it's money.
8:53
Like it was this. Very interesting place because I
8:56
wanted to be grateful to be working but then it wasn't
8:59
exactly what I wanted to be doing.
9:01
But I don't want picky because I know it's such a hard industry
9:04
that was kind of motherhood that was where I existed I was
9:09
working and I was making a good living but I kept feeling like
9:13
something was missing and it was when I had my first kid that it
9:17
all clicked into place because I remember having those thoughts.
9:21
Do I really want to fly somewhere for a couple?
9:24
of weeks and film something, I'm not excited about And leave this
9:29
baby and I remember being like no.
9:32
And it was a very big moment for me because it was such Clarity
9:36
and it refocused me. And that's why I started
9:39
creating a writing some of my own stuff.
9:41
I was really floored with motherhood and how it really
9:46
like 180 and me, I was like La party girl.
9:50
I was going out. I was really networking, really
9:53
being in the whole Hollywood Game soon as I had my first son,
9:57
I was like Just want to live in this.
10:00
This is what I meant to be. This is my favorite role yet,
10:04
you know, it was life-changing and I think I have so much
10:08
content. Spilling out of me because it
10:11
was so hard. I think motherhood Parenthood is
10:13
about one of the most universal leveling playing fields for
10:18
everyone. Because no matter where you
10:20
live, what you have, we're all going to go through the similar
10:24
struggles. First, you're raising little
10:27
human. Yeah, and no matter how you're
10:30
doing it and all of a sudden, like, your heart exists outside
10:34
of you and you love this little person so much.
10:37
And so, yeah, I out of that came, a lot of Comedy based on
10:43
real hard like moments, because I always was like, if I'm not
10:49
laughing, I'll be crying. And I think, comedy comedy is
10:53
time and pain and then That's you can get comedy out of that.
10:57
Like in that perspective, looking back.
11:00
And I wanted to also reach a community at the time of like
11:02
parents. So it was been around that time
11:06
that I started creating my own comedy writing producing still
11:10
like auditioning and trying to make money on the side with
11:13
other stuff, but that's when it started.
11:15
And then it was after my second kid, that all of that took off.
11:20
Like that's when I started a Blog, that's when I stopped
11:24
writing for other people's blogs.
11:25
I started my own. I was also working at a magazine
11:27
during that time. Wow, everything I learned and
11:31
kind of like took my Instagram off private.
11:34
It was after my second kid that I launched instant like social.
11:37
Yeah and that was the beginning. So that was 2015 and now I'm
11:44
really excited to say that I am getting to do all the things I
11:48
wanted to do. And I first came to LA because
11:50
I'm playing the characters, I want to play, I'm doing multiple
11:53
series that are branded for as much money or more.
11:55
More than I was doing like, through TV and film and
11:59
commercials one of my campaign deals is as much as I would make
12:02
for a commercial. But guess what?
12:04
I got to write it. I'm doing the creative.
12:06
I'm in it. I'm shooting it on my own time.
12:08
I'm not doing a 14-hour day for 30 second spot and again I'm
12:12
grateful for those but now this is like my baby that I'm
12:16
birthing again. So it's like my old school
12:18
combined with all the acting stuff.
12:20
I was dying to do and chomping at the bit for comedy and It's
12:25
been so much fun and I know that the industry keeps evolving and
12:28
changing and we all have to keep evolving and pivoting or it's
12:32
funny that motherhood inspired the biggest pivot.
12:34
Career-wise for me. Yeah.
12:37
Hollywood Story in a nutshell. I feel like an into the really
12:42
untraditional path, but I'm so happy.
12:43
I did. Yeah.
12:45
And I feel like I almost like, created a job.
12:47
That wasn't even a job at the time.
12:50
Yeah, that's that's awesome. That you were able to.
12:54
Use all of the things that you love and combine them into one.
13:00
Will you remind me how old a names of your kids that?
13:05
So if the turquoise in the girl? Yeah so Riders going to be
13:09
eleven the summer. Oh my God, he's like a Creech
13:11
mean. Wow, I'm sure is going to be
13:14
nine. This summer in Eden is going to
13:16
be to this summer. And yes, I have three kids all
13:19
born with in, like a couple weeks of each other.
13:21
So summer is Bonkers. Oh boy.
13:23
Yeah, it's always summer. I feel like so many babies are
13:26
just born in the it's crazy. I figured it out.
13:30
I did the math because I love doing this game because me and
13:32
my brothers were all born in the fall.
13:33
And me and my brothers would be like, yo parents, clearly like,
13:37
New Years was a moment for you guys and so for me, it's like
13:41
birthday month. Like we would just make babies
13:44
in my birthday month. I don't know if it was me being
13:46
like getting another year old, we need to do but like clearly,
13:50
if you do the math, I got pregnant.
13:52
Always in my birthday month. Yeah.
13:55
And like, happy birthday. That is so funny.
14:01
What was the decision to start a family?
14:04
How did that look for you as an actor?
14:07
Who was working a lot? Was that, was that scary for
14:13
you? Or did you have apprehensions
14:15
of, like wondering, like, how long will I be out of work?
14:20
Or if you'll take time and all of those Those things that we
14:26
know about. Yeah.
14:28
And so, I can also speak to this twofold now because I'll explain
14:33
it more, when I tell you the story, but my journey to baby
14:37
three was very different than my journey to be wanted to.
14:39
So I think that'll this will speak to it a bit because me now
14:44
is going to roll my eyes at what?
14:45
I'm going to say with baby one. Sure sure.
14:48
I've been going through fertility stuff with babies 3.
14:51
I have so much empathy for when people Really want to start a
14:54
family and it's hard. So I'm gonna speak to the
14:56
beginning part and then it will get me to the end but for
14:58
everyone. Let's don't roll your eyes
15:00
because I promise I've been through.
15:02
Now, I've worn both hats hauled the iral, the I roll.
15:06
But so I was 30 and I just turned 30.
15:10
And I remember me, and my husband have been together.
15:12
Since I was 21 our adventure, we moved to La Via troubled.
15:17
We gone to Europe. We'd spent so much time
15:19
together. Yeah.
15:21
Not been gotten back together. Like, we've been on a journey.
15:23
Any. I remember, you know, we weren't
15:27
like financially quite ready but we were, he had a job.
15:31
It was we're still in like a little apartment and by no
15:35
means, are we like stable stable to have a baby but we were we
15:39
were okay. Look, we could do it.
15:42
And I remember going out for dinner with my husband, I was
15:45
ready. I was probably ready.
15:46
Three years before he was so at 27, I was probably like I'm
15:51
ready to be a mom, some of my friends.
15:53
And from like the Canadian Midwest as they call it so just
15:57
become parents weight earlier there.
15:59
So I had friends that had kids like 26 27.
16:02
So I felt like I was late even though in these big cities like
16:06
La New York, Miami. I was one of the young like none
16:09
of my friends had kids. Yeah but I think there was
16:13
something in me I my mom was such a nurturing great mom and
16:18
she showed you that you could balance career and Parenthood my
16:21
dad to Super doting and really Are for me and ran a law
16:24
practice and so I had a really good example of what family look
16:28
like. And I think I always knew I
16:30
wanted that, I knew I was wanted a big family and from three very
16:34
tight-knit. And so I had a Pang in me that
16:38
knew I wanted a big family. Yeah.
16:41
But I understood the circumstances as well that like
16:43
we weren't quite financially ready and my husband was
16:46
building his career and I was building mine but suddenly at 30
16:48
it was like this, my ovaries were like, oh my God, my
16:53
husband. Cryogenic because men don't get
16:55
it. When women feel that feeling, I
16:59
don't know. So, I think for someone and it's
17:01
overwhelming and it's probably something in our biological
17:03
clock, that's like. Okay, okay.
17:07
So I remember taking we went for dinner and I looked at him and I
17:09
was like, how do you feel about trying for a baby?
17:11
And I think his face turned white?
17:14
Like, I remember his first thing was, do I still get to golf
17:17
literally? And I was like, in my head, I'm
17:20
like, I'm lying to him right now, but I was like, yep.
17:22
Totally Nothing's Gonna Change. Change for you.
17:24
That's what I said, too. He's good.
17:29
He's like, okay. And then this is the part.
17:32
QDI role where we didn't know anything about anything one
17:36
time. Got pregnant.
17:38
Yeah. Remember like we were he was
17:41
away. I took a prank by the way.
17:44
Didn't Know I Was Pregnant. Then I Googled all these like
17:46
weird symptoms I was having it was like early signs of
17:49
pregnancy and I've been drinking I like just yeah and I took a
17:53
test My husband was away and I flew to meet him and told him
17:57
and all so scary and new and again, like we didn't know how
18:01
any of his word. We didn't time it.
18:03
We just tried just to try and then it happened.
18:06
Yeah, but that's when I was like, I feel like I was shoved
18:11
into this. Like, okay, I'm going to stop
18:12
drinking. I am going to not drink
18:15
caffeine, I'm going to eat. Well, I am going to like be
18:18
careful of what I've got on my body.
18:19
I went like crazy, I was a mom. The minute I found.
18:23
And out, I was pregnant. Yeah, and we did it.
18:27
We loved it. And then with baby to chew the I
18:30
roll. Again, we had a first-time
18:33
jackpot again. We thought maybe it would take
18:36
six months. I was still breastfeeding.
18:38
Yeah, and B2 is actually a bigger adjustment because we had
18:41
to move out of our little apartment financially.
18:45
We weren't quite ready, it meant a lot for my work because I
18:48
could bring Rider one baby to auditions, and he was kind of
18:51
like the cart along baby. He came to Whole Foods with me,
18:53
He can overcome with me. He was just it's easy why now
18:57
and a toddler and a baby because they were both under to I had
19:02
them really close together. That to me was a big life
19:06
change. I remember sweating walking down
19:08
like a bikini and Venice because we still lived in like a very
19:11
urban area that wasn't very baby-friendly like the sidewalk
19:14
didn't fit my stroller, literally didn't.
19:17
And people at Hong Kong me on the set, the Stone Street and
19:20
make my double stroller didn't fit in coffee shops.
19:22
And all of a sudden like Okay. I can't go enroll into an
19:26
audition with two babies. Yeah, we have to get a nanny.
19:30
How does this work? How do I balance these two
19:33
babies and my job, and who I am? And so that's where things for
19:38
me really changed, but that's also in my work took off.
19:41
So it's a big balance and then this is where I say hold the I
19:45
roll because then I really, really wanted a third and it
19:48
took three years and IVF and all the things surrogacy yet, baby.
19:53
Three earthside. And so I have so much empathy
19:57
for people that really, really are ready because we weren't
20:00
ready ready. I was but together like you kind
20:03
of are didn't know what we were doing and and I can see when you
20:08
really are ready for a baby, how hard fertility and infertility
20:13
and secondary infertility. And all of that can be.
20:16
Yeah. Oh, I've such empathy for my
20:18
friends that built families from the get, go that way because
20:22
it's not for the faint of heart. Art, I I can't imagine I mean
20:28
yeah. You like being able to go
20:31
through both sides of it. Is is interesting that you
20:37
really get to connect. You can really empathize with
20:42
everyone in the situation and it's so lovely that you were
20:46
able to use a surrogate and be able to have baby.
20:52
Even So beautiful. How did you manage even?
20:58
Just like, daily scheduling type of things when you were like,
21:05
because you said, well, once you had to, that's also when you're
21:08
like, like a career kind of started taking off.
21:13
So, how did you what did that look like?
21:16
Because I know, usually like, when it rains it.
21:19
Pours. So, how did you manage that?
21:23
I feel like a days to me because I feel like I created some of my
21:26
favorite early content. Me and Hayley my comedy partner
21:31
created a series called shit. No one told you out of that
21:34
time. Mmm look a huge six-part series
21:37
for Mom.com. That was a big undertaking.
21:40
It's like a whole production. Then we created like multiple
21:43
episodes. I remember for lansinoh that was
21:46
like when everything took off and I was still working at
21:49
nylon. I was writing my blog and I was
21:51
launching my social, I don't know what I was thinking.
21:53
Inking. You like I realized I'm one of
21:57
those people that's better busy. Like I actually get more done
22:00
when I'm overwhelmed with I kind of was like a machine, I have
22:05
memories. Like, and then I brought the
22:06
best comedy. Like I remember pumping in front
22:10
of Soho house because I had a meeting, I come from a shoot and
22:14
I was pumping in a man. A cute guy walked about card and
22:17
doubled back and looked in and was like, Hey and then saw I was
22:21
pumping and kind of was like, No, and like walked away.
22:25
Yeah. I mean I remember like being on
22:28
set with like the Dakota Fanning and Elle Fanning and having to
22:32
go to my camera guy and be like, I'll be back in 10 minutes, you
22:36
know? Yeah.
22:38
Panting and sweating in my car, in the Hollywood Hills and like,
22:41
spilling the milk everywhere and coming back or grows to the set.
22:45
It's all of that. But I feel like I just powered
22:49
through and did it. And it got me.
22:51
It got my creative juices. Juices going because there was
22:54
so much going on and I felt like if I'm going through this, other
22:59
moms are going through this. And if I can share this through
23:02
a comedic lens then hopefully I'm like sharing some of these
23:06
real struggles that like other people can see themselves in and
23:10
relate to so that was kind of my motivator.
23:12
Yeah that's where a lot of my like original sketches came out
23:15
of like a whole series shit. No one told you.
23:17
It was literally like real things and thoughts that were in
23:20
my head and Haley's had that. No one had told Does before we
23:23
became parents because she was like, Coachella girl before she
23:26
became a mom and she's like, why didn't anyone tell me any of
23:29
this? I'm like, maybe there was like
23:31
this, weird secret club that everyone tells you like the cute
23:33
stuff. Mmm, one of our best viewed
23:36
episodes was sex after baby. No one, tell me what that line,
23:40
no one tells you and I remember being in a mommy-and-me and in
23:43
my head, I was like, I'm eating all my new 12 best friends.
23:47
Like, you know, and like be the one to raise my hand and ask why
23:51
sex sucks right now. And I'm like, no, I'm just gonna
23:54
not. I'll just talk about like other
23:55
things that they're all talking about but I was dying to ask
23:59
those questions and be like does anyone else anyone else?
24:02
Yeah. Yeah.
24:03
Well then I feel like that was probably a really great outlet
24:07
for you to able to because yeah, if you have those questions,
24:12
like somebody else has to, and it's easier for us to say it to
24:17
ourselves like of course, somebody else has it but can you
24:21
ask the question instead? For me.
24:23
Yeah. Like I don't want to be the one
24:24
to ask this question. Yeah.
24:27
But that's so great that so much because it really, I mean, the
24:30
things that we go through are just crazy.
24:34
So it is funny that it is really nice that you are able to get
24:39
all of this comedic stuff from it and then also be able to use
24:45
your own creativity and be on both sides of the camera.
24:52
Essentially to. So you had you had skin cancer
24:56
when you were pregnant, though. So what I'm actually doing a
24:59
campaign about that for skin cancer awareness.
25:02
I had a non melanoma, basal cell which they're not dangerous per
25:07
se, they can be disfiguring, I could have a friend going
25:09
through this now who's been very open sharing it on social
25:12
because she had a huge chunk cut out of her face.
25:15
I was really young. I was 32, I was pregnant with
25:18
Asher and I had honestly it looked like a little raindrop.
25:22
Add dots. And when I'm pregnant, I get
25:25
broken capillaries because the blood volume is high.
25:28
And so because I'm so fair, I would just get like broken blood
25:31
vessels and my doctor or just laser them, it was no big deal.
25:34
And this one on my forehead just didn't go away.
25:37
And I was about 34 weeks pregnant and my dermatologist
25:40
was like it's probably nothing. But I want to do a tiny little
25:44
biopsy because we've lasered it and it didn't go away and
25:47
everything else. Did it looks so benign but I'm
25:50
just going to do a little biopsy.
25:51
I was like, okay. And then I'll never forget.
25:54
I was with my baby. My other baby is pregnant and we
25:57
were at dinner and I got the call that it was it tested for
26:02
skin cancer and she's like it's not a dangerous it's not
26:07
melanoma so you can wait. She gets very slow-growing like
26:11
you have like, six seven months to think about this.
26:13
Yeah. And I remember just being like,
26:15
get it out like I wanted out before I have my baby, I work on
26:18
camera. I just want to go back to my
26:20
life when I'm finished. I can see ya, just wanted it
26:25
off. Yeah.
26:26
It's so I went under the knife at 36 weeks pregnant with no
26:30
nothing because they can't put lidocaine on you.
26:33
Yeah, Todd. So, with Mohs surgery, when it's
26:36
on your face, they do a special surgical demos and it's keep as
26:41
much tissue as they can. So they basically take a little
26:43
bit out, make sure they have the margins, and sometimes they have
26:47
to keep going until they get all of it.
26:49
But they go slowly, they don't want to take out more than they
26:51
need because it's your face on your a leg.
26:52
They would just take a chunk. Yeah, my friend who just had
26:56
this, they had to go in for time.
26:58
So it's a very big that's like a whole like this on your phone.
27:01
Her mind they had to go in one time so it's very small yeah
27:05
they stitched me up and it was actually on a pre-existing scar
27:09
that I had from childhood. Oh you're it ironic thing is I
27:13
used to have you can't see it now.
27:14
I had an indented scar on my forehead from childhood.
27:18
His surgery ended up fixing it. Huh?
27:22
Made it look better than it had before which my worry was.
27:25
I'm now gonna have a worse star than the one I had from
27:27
childhood. Yeah, but it all ended up.
27:30
Okay. But it was, it was a lot to go
27:32
through with the hormones of pregnancy.
27:34
And I just felt like I was always covering it because it
27:37
healed, it took like six months to heal.
27:38
So it's like I'm postpartum and, you know, just getting back to
27:42
myself, I was really self-conscious about this like
27:44
red bumpy scar on my forehead. Yeah, better than the OG one,
27:49
but it was a lie. And what it taught me again.
27:52
I mean, I was always pretty good about the Sun but it made me
27:56
like so aware of like wearing sunscreen every day we live
28:00
somewhere where we have Sunshine almost every day.
28:03
I'll be conscious about teaching my kids about son care, and it
28:07
definitely gave me a voice. And to use my platform every
28:10
year, when it becomes spring summer to share my story and
28:14
help people be Sunsmart because I think, you know, I like being
28:17
outside, I play sports and like I was my kids and and I think
28:21
you can enjoy the outdoors in a safe way.
28:24
So I'm always covered up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the older I
28:28
get even just like vanity wise I'm like sunscreen sunscreen the
28:34
sun is the number one aging like thing.
28:38
I mean literally any dermatologist will say yeah
28:40
genetics whatever but it's like the sun ages you yeah, yeah son.
28:47
So when you had You were in the your you said your smaller
28:52
apartment when you had a sexual way, I was pregnant with our
28:58
second. Okay?
28:59
So how did that look for you? Because as an outsider seems
29:04
like there was a like a financial shift if you don't
29:08
mind me asking. How did that was that because of
29:14
Just like your work, picking up your husband's ask.
29:19
I don't know what your husband does Mambo, which I would say.
29:24
When we both came out here, we started from zero career-wise.
29:27
He's a couple of years old, who works in finance and he had it
29:32
rough. When we first came out here like
29:33
he started at one place then they closed their doors in 2008.
29:37
There was a big recession, then another place you got.
29:40
Let go and my, when my first son was 6 months old.
29:43
Wow, you know, job I was a working actor, somewhat and we
29:49
are living in very month to month.
29:51
In this like tiny little place. It was in Venice, which was
29:55
really cool. But we really couldn't afford to
29:58
move anywhere bigger, like really couldn't, it would have
30:00
been a bit scratched and I guess when I got pregnant with baby to
30:04
we were we were not ready, like you're never ready, but we
30:09
thought it would take longer, he had just started his own
30:12
company. Okay, a really big deal, but at
30:15
the time it was, it was like two dudes in an office.
30:19
Like it was, I mean they were barely making money and now he
30:25
has a baby me and I'm pregnant again and it meant we had to
30:30
move because we were in a tiny, tiny two bedroom.
30:33
That was already like we had a stroller in the kitchen, a
30:36
little push car in the kitchen. Like there was I remember I was
30:39
32 weeks pregnant, and my mom. And I started unpacking the baby
30:42
clothes for my other Other son and we are like we hadn't
30:46
thought about it and I remember being like we had nowhere to go
30:49
like there's nowhere to put this there's no what about another?
30:52
Maybe we we hadn't thought about it and I remember messaging him
30:55
and being like I think I have to go look at places and our budget
31:00
really didn't allow for anything much nicer bigger.
31:04
We ended up finding a house that we rented four years from the
31:07
next five years where we had our two kids and until we bought and
31:12
it was a tiny Little Spanish style small but enough room for
31:18
the two boys, the oldest kitchen.
31:20
You could ever imagine honestly, with just even a laundry machine
31:24
broke down every day. We have to definitely got the
31:26
house like but I loved it and it was home and I wrote a letter to
31:31
the owner because the rent was two thousand dollars more than
31:34
we could afford. And I wrote a letter being like,
31:38
it was really sentimental. I used all my writing tools.
31:41
Yeah. Want to read our family.
31:42
Here we A picture having all these memories here and it
31:46
really tugged at the guy's heart strings, and he gave us house.
31:50
This guy used to come by weekly 40 and I got older.
31:56
I think that. And then my husband's company
31:59
grew during that time in my work grew and we were able to we
32:02
saved and then bought our first house right before the pandemic.
32:06
So very different circumstances where we welcomed our third.
32:11
But yeah, we really had a lot of years of like, struggle building
32:15
our careers, while starting a family, but very different
32:20
Fields. And so, it kind of makes you
32:23
enjoy the highs a little more when you really do struggle in
32:26
the lows, I don't know if I would have appreciated it as
32:28
much, if it would have been really easy, right?
32:33
That gives me an idea, maybe I should write letters to be, I
32:37
need to look up, please. Yeah, and I man, what good
32:44
timing? If you're able to get the house
32:46
before the Phantom like thank God, right?
32:49
It's rape. Yeah seriously them for you
32:54
since you've kind of been through the Gambit of like
33:00
Financial ups and downs of and with Children what has been what
33:11
has been like the biggest difference that you've seen in
33:17
yourself and your kids in just what?
33:21
Because I know like everyone says it's like money.
33:24
Can't buy you happiness but what have you what difference is have
33:29
you seen or are there really Many always day.
33:35
I had been teaching my kids, the same Mantra, which like, my
33:38
parents taught me. And I learned it from a young
33:40
age because we had family friends growing up that were
33:42
extremely wealthy in Toronto. And I remember want the the man,
33:46
the Father, the Helm of the family, got really sick.
33:49
And my dad looked at me. I was 11 and he's like, I just
33:52
want you to see like we'd go visit him, he was older and we
33:54
go visit him every Sunday and keep him company because my dad
33:57
felt really close to. And this guy had been friends
33:58
with his father and my dad said, you know, this man.
34:03
An, he's like he has everything. But he's money.
34:06
Can't buy his health and I remember and it and he said he
34:09
has loved money. Can't buy love money, can't buy
34:11
happiness and money can't buy help.
34:13
He's like this man has happiness and love but he doesn't have his
34:17
health and I remember it was like this amazing lesson as a
34:21
really young kid and its values. At my parents, kind of like
34:24
installed in me. And my husband are very similar
34:26
values and so I feel like even though things financially have
34:30
changed for our kids for us and Eden's growing up very
34:34
differently than my boy did it like yeah house in like we have
34:39
help. Now that's I'd say that's maybe
34:41
the biggest thing and I think helped can look different in
34:43
different ways. I've learned that as a mom,
34:47
whatever your financial restrictions are whether you
34:50
have family nearby that can help for free.
34:53
I think letting go of the I have to do it all.
34:58
In delegating and being okay to delegate.
35:01
I let go, I was not good at that with my first two and you
35:04
couldn't see, I didn't feel comfortable.
35:07
So when I suddenly could it was hard for me and I'd say the
35:11
easiness of having a little more Financial Freedom.
35:14
Now, with a third and at this stage of Our Lives is just not
35:19
having to do it all really being able to delegate, but at the
35:23
same time, like it does, it can't change.
35:27
Change relationships, health happiness.
35:31
And so I feel like if anything, I'm trying harder to instill
35:34
these values in my kids and I think play in general there's
35:38
just so much of so much and where I grew up there wasn't as
35:43
much, you're a big city but we were really small community and
35:47
I just feel like the exposure to things wasn't as much back in
35:51
Toronto. And so I'm trying to instill the
35:53
values that like we grew up with to my kids here and I'm even
35:56
sending them back to summer camp in Canada.
35:58
They can have our nice friends that aren't growing up in this
36:01
part of the world and just something different.
36:05
And again for us like, we teach our kids like about giving back
36:11
during the holidays, teaching them.
36:13
What? Like, the real world looks like.
36:15
Yeah, Curtin, yeah, yeah. That's that's nice to hear and
36:23
they'll get all those different experiences and of course like
36:27
how you raise your kid is more important than what what you
36:31
raise them with I guess for sure.
36:36
Yeah. How did you I since you weren't
36:41
like you said like you didn't really have the help when with
36:46
the first two boys. How, how was that transitioning
36:52
into having help? Now, even just like, Meaning
36:58
someone that you that you trust, we have a very interesting
37:02
Journey with our story. It kind of all like, worked out
37:05
as I say, but when I had Rider, my first, we decided that we
37:10
would get someone to days a week, which is not easy to find,
37:13
but I want this like Yahoo group that I don't even know if it's
37:16
around anymore. And I went on and said, hey,
37:20
looking to Nanny shares who couldn't afford anything more
37:22
than that. But because my husband was
37:24
working crazy hours. We thought two days a week would
37:26
give me a chance. Stu like just take a break.
37:29
We didn't have any family so I didn't have a mom that could,
37:31
like, come over and let me nap. Like the days I was on I was on
37:36
24 hours and so it's two days were like, 925 it.
37:40
Let me go get groceries and let me go get a manicure at.
37:43
Let Me Take a Walk on my own and let me nap.
37:46
And so we found somebody. She came for the interview.
37:51
I remember my mom was in town, still at right after the baby
37:54
was born. She was wonderful and We shared
37:58
her with another family and now fast-forward, 11 years later.
38:01
She's our full-time Nanny. We transitioned to days a week,
38:07
to three days a week to full-time.
38:11
Yeah. So I feel like it was this
38:13
gradual, there wasn't a change. We build trust.
38:17
She's like part of the family. And, you know, my parents do
38:20
come and visit sometimes in my mother-in-law, but we don't
38:23
count on anyone else for childcare because no one lives
38:25
here. And he's One that we counted on
38:29
honestly, like ruin. We've been sick.
38:31
I remember we had covid and she, like just all of it, the kids
38:35
adore, her, her family, we know, whole family.
38:38
They babysat. And so yeah, that we kind of had
38:42
the same person but a transition from very, very part.
38:44
Time to their full-time. Yeah.
38:46
Oh that's so nice. So they have, that's such a good
38:49
consistency for them to because I know especially in Allah were,
38:53
you know, so many nannies are babysitters are Actors and
38:58
their, which I've been consistently with families, but
39:03
I know that it's hard to keep that.
39:06
So that's awesome. Hands on the age of your kids.
39:09
Like, now that would work for us, I guess, because sometimes
39:13
like, when your kids are older, you almost want like a mom's
39:15
helper, like someone to play sports with them, or drive them
39:18
around. But I feel like our Nanny can do
39:20
both and toggle like because we have a baby and then to
39:23
elementary school kids who just really need rides in life.
39:27
And I'm yeah but we did use an agency as well to fill in the
39:32
gaps. My friend owns the nanny League.
39:36
Oh, I was, I went through their love her and she is so much
39:42
because we were struggling at the very beginning.
39:44
Yeah, he helped so much and so we found amazing people through
39:48
her. Yeah yeah that is that's a great
39:51
company. I went in and interviewed with
39:53
them and like they were great. They have like there's so many
39:57
Like great opportunities. And just the way that they find
40:00
people is really awesome. When right now, then, what would
40:07
you say, has been like, your, your life saver.
40:12
That's just like, helping you get through at the moment.
40:18
So, I would say in all my parenting things I've learned, I
40:24
feel like I've earned some badges.
40:27
Now, you know, my friend, Denise vaci, says this, well if she's
40:30
made her whole platform about this, it's self care, whatever
40:34
that looks like for you as a mom.
40:37
I'm someone that recharges with alone time I actually learned a
40:39
during the pandemic, an extroverted, but I must be an,
40:42
extrovert and introvert because I recharge the long time that
40:46
could mean I'm going on a girls trip again.
40:48
So I'm going to take my own car because that two-hour Drive is a
40:51
recharge for me before, I'm about to be on for the weekend.
40:55
It could mean I'm going to take a 30 minute.
40:57
Foot massage at the spa, down the road.
41:00
That's $30. It's not expensive but it's my
41:05
30 minutes or someone's rubbing my feet and outer thing locking
41:09
the door to my bedroom and binge watching a new show or reading a
41:12
book. I love podcasts.
41:15
I think take a bath every night. Oh wow, my kids.
41:19
Go to bed, I run about that. I sometimes put on a podcast or
41:22
I go through tick-tocks and that's my time.
41:26
And I think I used to feel bad about those moments and now that
41:30
I am seasoned honestly, for me, that's how I am recharged.
41:37
Yeah, I would give any mom or parent that advice, like,
41:40
whatever that looks like for you a walk.
41:44
Anything it doesn't have to be long, maybe a five minute
41:46
meditation in the morning. Something enters you and
41:49
something that gives you that recharge.
41:51
It could be socializing. It's different for everyone.
41:54
Yeah, for me. Yeah.
41:57
And so that's what I learned along the way.
41:59
I think I learned it in 2020 and I really tried to implement it
42:02
and protect that time. As I would protect a meeting.
42:05
Yeah. Do you do you think that also is
42:09
part of what helps you? Keep your like creative.
42:14
Is flying cause I know just being a mom by itself is so
42:18
exhausting. So how do you continue to find
42:21
that those keep those creative juices and your passion going?
42:27
Not always there. I mean I every month this is a
42:30
creative can say this you have been flow and sometimes I get
42:35
inspired by the most unexpected things.
42:38
I always keep a running notepad and iPhone so I write down
42:41
things throughout the day, sometimes I pushed myself.
42:44
Self to shoot on a day that I don't feel like it.
42:49
Sometimes there's days where I don't want to be creative.
42:51
And I just want to sit in motherhood and do present with
42:53
my kids and be at soccer and not think about work.
42:56
So I think I really just lean into wherever I am and I'm okay
42:59
with it. Obviously, like with work, I
43:00
have deadlines and things like that, but for the most part, I
43:04
kind of when I'm feeling creative, I lean into that.
43:06
And when I'm feeling, like, I just need a break.
43:08
I lean into that and I kind of emblem.
43:11
That's awesome. Well, I know.
43:14
Our time is very precious and so I will let you go.
43:18
But thank you so much for being on the podcast and it's been so
43:23
good talking to you and we got to get our girls together.
43:26
Love that, can we? Yeah.
43:29
I'm I'm always around you for having me.
43:33
Yeah, of course, we'll talk soon and that's our episode.
43:38
Thank you so much to my guest and a special.
43:41
Thank you to my producer Cecilia.
43:44
A trip with Laurel Canyon creative and thank you to Edith
43:48
Mudge for our theme music and I hope you enjoyed having a look
43:54
into mommy would don't forget to follow mommy would podcast on
44:00
Instagram and Tick-Tock and please give us a nice review and
44:07
a few Stars while you're at it we would appreciate it.
44:11
So, so much. And Take care.