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Car Handjob Etiquette?! Reddit Asks the Important Questions · The Treehouse Show Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Want more Treehouse? Check out our YouTube exclusive shows at youtube.com
• 0:03
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• 0:57
  Speaker 2: It is time to leave your worries outside and laugh
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: with us inside the tree house. I'm Dan O'Malley along
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: with Trey Trenholm and Jerry Caldwell. There are certain subject
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: lines that really catch my attention from Trey, especially when
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: that subject line is nothing or especially when that subject
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: line is simply hand job.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: Had a feeling that catch your eye.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: It certainly did. I feel like you've missed your calling.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: You need to be a headline writer over at Fox 4. Actually,
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: you know what? Fox 4 is doing pretty good for
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: themselves in the ratings. Maybe over at CBS. You get
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: on at the Super Ones over there at Channel 11,
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: and you start writing headlines like Handjob, CBS DFW is
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: going to actually start competing with Fox 4 for local dominance.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: It may not be the dominance they... you know, ultimately want,
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: but they'll get it.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it depends who's given them.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Yes. Yes.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: Good answer, Jerry. We don't need to actually name any
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: names of people that we, but yes. So I've read
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: these days. Wow. So when there's a subject line, just
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: simply hand job, that's definitely the thing that I'm going
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: to start with content. And if, you know, if you're offering,
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: so now I'm going to read it completely cold or limp,
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: as they might say, because I don't know what the
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: rest of this entails. You got my attention. Now I'm
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: just going to go with it. In the no stupid
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: questions community. What's the etiquette when giving a hand job
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: in a car? Um, again, without having read past this
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: at all, I don't know if there really is any etiquette.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: It's like just getting one at all in the car
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: is like, all right, this is cool. Like, like just
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: doing it as the etiquette is just like, I don't
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: think there is any etiquette. I think it, along with
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: other stuff can just go right out the window.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: Thank you for that clean audio.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: You're welcome. Yep. Yep.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: Yep.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: As Jerry backs away is like, uh, so yeah, they ask,
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: what is the etiquette when giving a hand job in
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: the car? This feels pretty silly, but I'm honestly asking.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: I'm really more interested in the cleanup part because that
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: turned out to be a problem in the recent experience
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: that inspired this post. We got lucky. I found some
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: paper towels and everything was okay. But what if you
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: don't have that? I'm breaking away from the post now
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: to say, I think it's always a good idea in
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: your car to have like extra napkins or paper towels
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: or something like in the glove box or the console,
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: not in case an impromptu handjob breaks out, but just
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: because sometimes like if you're eating in the car and
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: then spillage happens, whatever, you have something there for cleanup
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: purposes or for, you know, impromptu handjob. Back to the, oh,
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: and the other thing I think is important to keep
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: in your car at all times is like a spare outfit.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: Like even if it's just gym clothes, In case a
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: really bad accident happens, like you get a sudden bout
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: of dysentery or you need to change a tire and
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: you happen to be dressed up and you need something
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: sloppy to wear while you change the tire and back
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: into the suit, it's always a good idea to keep
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: a spare change of clothes in the car. Now back
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: to the post. Found some paper towels and everything was okay,
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: but what if you don't have that? Is the expectation
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: that the person... is the expectation that the person giving
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: should like to swallow it. I've got to admit, that's
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: where my mind went. Well, sure, but at that point
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: in my mind, it's like, well, it ceases to be
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: a handy, and now it's turned into a blowy. Which,
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: if you were going to do it at the end anyway,
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: then why not just do it at the beginning? I'm
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: applying a lot of logic to this scenario here. word
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: lube might be uh required anyway uh goes back to
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: asking uh what if you're not ready for that yet
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: all right uh this person says i wasn't how else
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: do you avoid just making a mess in the car
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: does he open up his door and finish outside what
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: if someone sees you don't do that That becomes, look,
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: it's already borderline criminal, the activity that you're doing in
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: the car. If you open up that car door and
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: show it to the sunshine and everybody else, that's a
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: real crime happening now. And then they sign off by saying,
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: thanks for indulging me. Well, thanks for indulging him. Trey,
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: this piqued your interest as well. What is the etiquette
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: for giving a handjob?
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: Dan, I sent this to you for a reason. I
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: didn't know. So I expected. I expected you to be
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: like the Emily Post of handjobs, Miss Manners.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: Miss Handers. Dear Abby, what is the etiquette for giving
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: a handjob in the car? I want to see that
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: in the Sunday paper. All right, look, I have thoughts, okay?
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: First of all, ma'am, I'm assuming it's a ma'am. if
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: you're not ready to, to receive the finishing product in,
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: in such a fashion, then, then you have a couple options.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: One is you just, you just take your hand and
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: you cover it kind of like you do when, uh,
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: with a shaken soda bottle. Okay. Okay. it helps if
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: you happen to have like a coffee cup in the car,
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: that's art or a super gold cup in the case
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: of a tray. And you can just put that over
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: the top, kind of like you find a spider in
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: the house. If you got that right over the top,
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: that can contain it all pretty good. So you have
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: to be out. So there's a couple of ways to
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: go about it. If, if you're going to, and if
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: you're going to engage in the, uh, the handy in
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: the car, you need to plan ahead for these things. Hmm.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: Where's it going to go when it's done? Or are
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: you just, and there's, and this is the fun way
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: to go about it. You can just point it back
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: towards him. And then it looks like he just spilled
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: something all over his shirt and his belly.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: You know, as the guy, if you're the recipient, the,
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: these are things you should have thought of.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel you.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: And yeah, at the very least, you know, cover the spout.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh, so you're saying don't try to.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: Bend it like don't try to crimp it like a
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: water hose. Just if someone has a sock.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: Who has who has a random car sock?
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: Well, if you got one on your foot, take it off.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: Well, that's going to ruin the moment.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: Hang on.
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: I got to, I got to take off my sneaker here.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: Cause I hang on. I'm about to finish. Hang on.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: Let me take off my sock that I'm wearing. Now
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: I'm walking around with one sock. That's no fun.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: You need to have these things thought of as it starts.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: This would be something, you know, you, you know how
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: it ends.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: Hopefully, hopefully.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: If it's, if it's any good. So, but you, but
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: you said that the guy needs to plan ahead for this.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: I think so. Yeah. Ultimately it's, it's yeah.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: There's a good chance it's going to end up on
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: him if you don't.
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: If you would like to harbor an environment in which
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: the person who's giving you the hand job feels that
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: they can do that, then you should probably think ahead
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: and make sure that you have on hand, like you
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: said earlier, some kind of paper towels, napkins.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: That kind of thing.
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: This situation should already be thought about so that all
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: they have to do is just reach over, do the thing,
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: take care of it.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: Sometimes girls think it's fun that, you know, like a
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: water wiggle. Yeah, where's it going to go?
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: It reminds them of like a sixth grade volcano science
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: fair thing.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: I am convinced there is a correlation between also why
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: they love to pop pimples.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: Could be. It's that release of pressure. thing, like, ooh. So, okay,
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: I get what you're saying, Jerry and Trey. It's like,
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: in order to, if you're the recipient here, create an
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: environment conducive to these types of car shenanigans.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: Absolutely. Uh, which the sad thing would be is if
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: your car's always ready for it, but then it never happens.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: Cause then you're just always going to be looking at
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: that cup going like that cup sure is dry. Cause
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: do you really want to have to explain that mess
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: when you get to wherever you're going? I wonder, I
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: wonder if she wonders why I always have a big
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: gulp cup in my car.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: Here's a question for you. And this is as just
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: honest and real as it gets. At our age, do
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: any of you foresee this actually being a problem?
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: No. No. This was a thing for, like, you know, 20s,
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: 30s-year-old big Dan. It was like, yeah, like, yeah, 40,
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: 46-year-old Dan is just like, you know, just hand me
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: the MapQuest.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: I mean.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: I'm so sorry, guys.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: I would never, I would never turn one down, but
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: I just don't, you know. I don't see this being
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: an issue.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: Look, every relationship is different. Obviously, as Jerry takes a long,
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: slow pull from his Buc-ee's cup, which keeping in mind,
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: I don't think he's actually taking any actual road trips.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: He just goes to Buc-ee's as the primer for his
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: girlfriend to know that as soon as they leave Buc-ee's,
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: it's time to go to Yankee's. And then he just
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: slowly turns the car around and goes back home. Not
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: going to Hot Springs today. Today, I am your hot springs.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: I like that. You can use it. If you want
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: it to happen, have an environment conducive to planning ahead, sure.
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: Then if you're the one that's going to be giving
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: the thing, you too should probably look around and think, okay,
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: what am I going to do? Just think a few
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: steps into the future. Do not ever leave the vehicle
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: to do that. That's just super crime. You don't want that.
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: What is the other etiquette? I think we've covered most
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: of the bases. Covered the cleaning up. That's the main thing.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: In the chat, our man Mackie, it may be criminal activity,
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: but it's a damn fun activity. Hey, look, Mackie, you're
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: not wrong, but let's be honest here. One law enforcement
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: official's crime is another man's good time. Also, AAJ says,
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: depends on how fast you're going. Diego, road trip fun
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: can be fun. Just don't get caught by other drivers
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: or at rest areas. That's also a big no-no. Although
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: I will say, rest stop loving. Rest stops have come along. Sorry,
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: unintended pun. But rest stop areas have come a long
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: way over the years. Like, they're actually really nice now.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: I've hit a number of them.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: To pee, Trey. To pee. Sure. I'm not cruising. I'm
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: on cruise control. I am not cruising. I love AJ
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: in the chat for making the space in the car
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: ready for some romantic things to happen. Why do you
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: have that cup and napkins? Do you dip? No, I
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: just have expectations. That, that is a pickup line in
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: the car if I've ever heard one. All right. Do
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: you feel like we've covered that pretty well, Trey, as
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: far as the etiquette for a handy in the car?
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: All right, good.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: Speaking of etiquette, in the world of broadcasting, you're really
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: not supposed to swear. And I know it's really difficult
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: for all of us as Cowboys fans because we swear
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: by watching the games all the time, right? But it's
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: nice to know that even Tom Brady gets caught up. Now,
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: Trey and I played this earlier this week. We didn't
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: even hear the game audio during the Cowboys game, right?
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: But Tom Brady, when Jaden Daniels turned his arm the
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: wrong way, was all of us.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: Ready.
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: Oh, shit. Oh, no. Excuse me.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: Was not expecting to see that.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: Jerry, did you watch any of the game? I did not.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: Watched most of the game. Actually, watched all the game.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: Didn't hear in the audio because I was in a
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: Seattle bar and the Seahawks were playing at the same time.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: So I missed this little gem of Tom Brady. What
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: is it, Trey?
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: No.
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: Okay. Is everything okay? You had like a concerned look
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: on your face. Yeah. Okay, cool. So let's enjoy Tom
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: Brady one more time for Jerry here. Oh, shit.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: Oh, no.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: I was not expecting to see that. None of us
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: were expecting to see that, Tom. But that wasn't all.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: Tom Brady wasn't done. Then I think it was on Tuesday,
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: Monday afternoon, Tuesday afternoon, something like that, was this other Jim...
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: from Tom Brady during the Cowboys broadcast. Three touchdowns, two
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: in the 20 yards, 24-29 on a second and long here.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: Rifles one, CD land. Oh, my goodness. Beauty of a
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: throw from Dak Prescott on target.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: Absolute piss missile up the sideline.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: Sabre's still stinking in cover two. And CD settles in
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: that hole. Martin can't get over there on time. Absolute
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: piss missile out of Tom Brady's mouth. I mean, that
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: is A. A, he is not wrong. B, I don't know.
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: I know Fox is the more fun football network, but
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: I don't know if he got in trouble at all
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: for calling it an absolute piss missile on the air.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: As much as they're paying him, they're not going to
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: say shit to him.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: Don't they have dump buttons on television?
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: Why would you dump out of that?
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: You actually can say it. You can. It's just that
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: typically on these games, you don't expect them to, right?
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: There's no FCC fine here. You can say piss. I'm
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: talking about the first one.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: Oh, no, the first one.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think they hit the delay. They didn't
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: hit the delay on that one. So I'm with you.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: When he says OS in the middle of the broadcast,
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: they should have dumped out of that. They didn't. I
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: don't know why. But the piss missile thing was great
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: just because that is raw color commentary. And because of that,
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: Tom Brady is now my favorite play-by-play guy. I want
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: more of this. I've said for years, and Trey, you
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: and I have talked about this for years. because Monday
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: night football had ratings issues for so many years after
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: being at the top of the football ratings, we were like,
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: you know what? Bring in some, like when they brought
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: in Dennis Miller, I was like, no, you should have
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: brought in Chris Rock. Like really go like crazy commentary
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: kind of thing. And you could really have some fun
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: with it. Saying things like throwing an absolute piss missile.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: Well, you know, it's actually, it's mind boggling now that,
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: There is a whole generation that doesn't even understand that
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: Monday night football used to be the premier game. And
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: now it's Sunday night football that really is kind of
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: the premier game. And Monday night football is really just trash.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: It is.
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: It's such a weird thing how that happened. And it
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: seemed like it happened really, really fast. And I guess
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: it was because of Sunday night football. Because as soon
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: as Sunday night football happened, it just sucked all the
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: wind out of the sails for Monday night football.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: Well, I think one of the things was, at the time,
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: there was still a little bit of a lag of
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: penetration between Cagle and broadcast. And so NBC was always
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: going to be broadcast. For a while, Monday Night Football,
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: I believe, was just strictly going to be ESPN. Now
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: they simulcast it on ABC and ESPN.
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: And then you had the kerfuffle of Hank Williams and– Yeah.
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: That didn't help. But Monday Night Football was already having
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: problems before that. That just kind of threw some fuel
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: on that fire. But yeah, I guess it was. As
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: soon as they announced and started doing Sunday Night Football,
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: it just killed the Monday Night vibe.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: I feel like we're doing a revisionist history thing.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: My brain's not working 100%. It's like, Was Monday Night
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: Football on a decline already and then Sunday Night Football happened?
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: They had had issues with Monday Night Football just with
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: the booth and ratings and everything else. And then I
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: think NBC simply paid more money to make the Sunday
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: Night game the premiere. game. And again, and it kind
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: of was because you had the Hank Williams and I
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: know it sounds funny, the intro, but Hank Williams was
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: the intro forever. And then was, was Carrie Underwood, did
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: she do Monday night? And then they hired, they moved
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: her over to do the Sunday night.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: I really don't know.
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: I don't know who, who came in and started doing
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: it after Hank. I don't know if they rotated it
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: with people. I want to say they rotated it with people. Yeah.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: I mean, they still do. And it's kind of weird
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: because I know, I think I saw it this Monday
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: and it was, uh, it was the female drummer and
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: Chris Stapleton. And then it was ludicrous. they were doing
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: in the air tonight. They're a Phil Collins cover with,
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: for football. And then they do singing, which Chris Stapleton,
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: by the way, does. It's amazing how much he sounds
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: like Phil Collins.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: Really?
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I was shocked at it. I was like, damn, that's,
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: that's really good. Cause Phil Collins has a fairly unique voice.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: And then, and then, yeah, then it all of a
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: sudden it's a trans, you know, Segues to a ludicrous
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: rap in the second verse. I was like, okay.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: Oh, a transition. I thought you were saying they brought
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: out a trans person to start singing. It's like, man,
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: they really have gone the other direction from Hank Williams Jr.
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: And now to sing the Monday Night Football theme, RuPaul.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: Which I'd actually tune in for that.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: One. RuPaul's not trans. RuPaul's just a drag queen.
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: Drag queen, yeah. I don't know what the difference, whatever.
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: I don't know what the differences are.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: I'll call you by whatever name you want. I'm respectful
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: in that way. If I thought your name was Tom
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: and you say it's Tina, I'd be like, cool, Tina.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah. RuPaul is just a plain old transvestite, which I
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: feel like that's a term we've lost.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: That's so old hat now. It is weird to think
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: it's like we all we all got completely accustomed to RuPaul.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: And who is the blonde lady? Like there was a
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: blonde lady at one point that was sort of a
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: drag drag queen situation. I feel like that was kind
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: of a celebrity.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: I mean, everyone.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: Eddie Izzard. Yeah.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: Eddie Izzard. Everyone was kind of like, all right, so
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: this guy wears women clothes.
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: Cool.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: We're fine with it.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: I don't remember if it was which comedy special it was.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: But he did a whole bit about, no, I'm a transvestite,
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: which means I just like wearing women's clothes. It's nothing sexual.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: That was Dressed to Kill, I believe.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that was. And then now, fast forward,
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: when you have everything that just went bat-ass crazy, now,
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: at one point, he was going by a woman's name.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: I think it was like Tina or something. And I
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: don't know if he's gone... I don't know.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: I don't know. But like I said, I mean, if
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: Eddie Izzard wants me to call him Edwina, if I
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: ever get the chance to meet him and talk to him,
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: I will call him Edwina. Be like, cool. That's no
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: big deal. Call me Dan, not Danny. To me, it's
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: the same damn thing. But yeah, it is really weird
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: how like so much of society just was like cool
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: and kind of accepted RuPaul. But then like Elliot Page,
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: who used to be Ellen Page, and everyone's like, I'm
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: not seeing the Odyssey now. Yeah. Weird jump, right? I mean...
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: It was for everybody.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: It's... It was an interesting casting choice.
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. But when you think back on it, and we're not...
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: I don't want to get off on this a whole bunch,
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: but it's like Christopher Nolan is one of those directors
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: that likes to work with the same people over and
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: over again. And he's worked with now Elliot before Elin.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: He worked with him before as a her along with
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: so many other people. He was just kind of like,
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: all right, well, if I was doing the Odyssey when
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: she was still Ellen page, I might've given her a
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: different role, but now that she's Elliot, I'm gonna make
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: you this guy. Cool.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: And now Elliot is complaining that as a white man,
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: he can't get any work anymore.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: See, it's, Careful what you wish for. All right, let's
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: transition to birthdays here inside the treehouse. Thank you very much.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: Not my first day. Today is Thursday, September 24th, 2026.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: Let's celebrate today with some birthdays. Jim Henson would have
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: been 90 today. This is one of those humans I
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: am so grateful to have lived in the era that
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: this person lived. Jim Henson was an absolute human treasure,
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: and I'm glad we got to live at the same
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: time he did and got to enjoy all of his
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: little furry creations. He passed away in 1990. Very young
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: when you think about it. I mean, that was 36
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: years ago, and so he would have been 90 today.
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: creator of the muppets one of the creative forces behind
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: sesame street fraggle rock the labyrinth movie dark crystal that's
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: the only thing of his i did not like jerry
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: knows this the dark crystal puppets creep me out.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: I don't remember dark crystal puppets.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: Google it really quick just just google dark crystal movie
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: but while their faces just wig me out for some
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: reason uh.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: If you ever want to see one of the most
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: saddest touching things still to this day is big bird
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: at Jim Henson's funeral.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: Oh, I just got chills. Oh yeah. It's, it's one
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: of those things where from an outside perspective, you would
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: think it would sound silly to have dressed up characters
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: at a man's funeral. like somehow Chuck E. Cheese shows up.
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: You're like, that's weird and dumb. Like, unless, and like,
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: we're lowering him into a ball pit. Like if it
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: was the creator of showbiz pizza slash Chuck E. Cheese,
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: be like, that seems odd. But because it's Jim Henson
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: and Big Bird, we all get emotional. We're like, Oh God,
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: that's so sad and touching.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: Well, it was, I mean, and it's God, he was
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: one of the first ones I remember of cases where
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: go to the effing doctor. Cause I mean, he basically
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: died of the flu. Cause, uh, but that, I mean,
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: we want to talk about someone who had just a
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: significant impact on all of our childhood, Sesame street and
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: the Muppet show. And then, and I was so Seth
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: Rogan was trying to reboot the Muppet show and did
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: one episode with Sabrina Carpenter. It was fantastic. And I,
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: I really thought, and from what I read, it did,
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: did well, uh, uh, ratings wise, I really thought they
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: were going to do more of those and I'm disappointed
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: they haven't because he, just the fact he nailed the
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: opening song. I mean, just like the original, it was impressive.
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: I hope they do more of those. And look, because
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: like Seth Rogen is a very busy guy and, uh,
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: maybe they'll maybe not go back to doing like a
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: weekly Muppet show. Like we all grew up with, but
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: maybe they'll do, You know, maybe like a quarterly special
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: or something like that. Maybe they'll get back into doing
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: the occasional movie, which are some of my favorite movies
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: as kids. The Muppets just doing anything like Muppet Christmas Carol.
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: Sign me up. Learning the classics from the Muppets. Yeah,
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: that's right. Muppet Treasure Island. God, Pirate Muppets.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Hell yeah.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: Everything is better with Muppets. There's no argument about that.
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: That is the ultimate unifier in this country. Right, left, right. conservative, liberal, Republican, Democrat, Libertarian,
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: Green Party. Oh, Green Party, like Kermit. It's the Muppets.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: The Muppets doing anything can bring us all together. My
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: new therapist is Cookie Monster. Like if I'm having like
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: a weird day, I just pull up the Cookie Monster account,
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: I instantly feel better. Elmo was everyone's therapist there briefly
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: for a little bit. That's true. That's very, very true.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: See, Elmo, it's funny. I don't remember... Elmo was a
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: character that came on after my childhood.
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we were all adults after Elmo came around. But
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: the love and the positivity that that little red doll
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: spits out is something we all should appreciate. Also, that
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: voice is just super freaking cute.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: I think generally why Gen X is very... Whatever, when
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: it comes to being gay, is Bert and Ernie.
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: Right. That was the first Gen X love couple. Like
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: the first Gen X gay love couple was Bert and Ernie. See,
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: I kind of think it was Statler and Waldorf. Those
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: are two old Queens. You can't convince me otherwise.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: I can. You clearly haven't been around some old, you
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: clearly haven't been around old Queens.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: No, you haven't. I don't think they were the original Littlerons. party,
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: but it is a funny thought that they're up in
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: that box giving each other handies. And they're big gulp cups.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: But yeah, like Bert and Ernie, it was one of
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: those long-standing jokes. They never said it. Did they ever
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: actually come out, Bert and Ernie? Mm-hmm. So they're still closeted.
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: I think actually at one point Jim Henson and his family,
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: they still own all the rights for the Muppets and stuff.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: I think they finally came out and were like, no,
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: they're just really good friends. Meanwhile, were all of us
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: who grew up on the show going like, nah, they gay, bro.
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: Which we were fine with because they seemed very happy.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: All right, other birthdays today. So happy birthday to Jim Henson,
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: deceased though. Also deceased, Phil Hartman. He would have been
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: 78 today. It is an understatement to say he was
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: taken far too soon. He died. He was murdered by
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: his wife in 1998. One of the greatest to ever
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: do Saturday Night Live.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: And as you and I, we talked about this a
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: while back, news radio, great show that probably has a
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: much longer run if Phil Hartman dies.
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: Stays alive yeah you're right about that yeah i think.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: You're right they tried to bring in john lovett after
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: hartman and that was.
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: Just no yeah no contest yeah uh ross matthews is
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: 47 tv personality who first became famous as ross the
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: intern on the tonight show with jay leno not really
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: sure what he's doing now i think he's like random
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: tv hosting weird stuff now Nia Vardalos is 64. She's
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: the writer and director of My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: The only other thing that I can really remember she
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: did after My Big Fat Greek Wedding was about 25
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: years later, My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: No, I think they did My Big Fat Greek Wedding
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: 2 fairly close to the first one, and then it
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: was the third one that's like 30 years later.
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: And it was like their kid or whatever getting married. Okay, gotcha.
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: And then Kevin Sorbo. He is 68 today. Best known
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: as Hercules from Hercules, The Legendary Journeys, and also a
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: show called Andromeda. And now he's mostly known for stirring
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: up political stuff online. So Kevin Sorbo, 68 today. I
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: like how the Treehouse chat here With our ultimate Treehouse
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: subscribers is alive with coming up with new movies for
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: the Muppets to do. Like the Muppets and the Furious.
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: Can you imagine? Can you imagine Gonzo driving one of those? Yes.
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: Did the Muppets ever do the cannonball run? I feel
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: like they did or should have. Should have. They need
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: to do a Muppets cannonball run. All the Muppets in
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: their own cars. You've got Beaker and the bald-headed little scientist.
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: They're in a car. You got Kermit and Miss Piggy
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: and maybe Fozzie in one. You got the guys in
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: the band are all in the other, you know, with
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: animal and stuff. And then I like to think that
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: there's one Muppet car. It's just a little shrimp driving
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: and no one else. Pepe.
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: Fozzie would have been a good... Dom DeLuise.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: Yep. I'm not even saying that they have to replace
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: certain characters. It's just the Muppets doing their own as
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: their characters.
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: But no, they could fill in every role in the
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: classic Cannonball.
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: I can assure you this, having gone back and watched
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: Cannonball Run. Very short on plot. So yeah, you need
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: some of the personalities in there.
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and there are also some of the stereotypes in
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: those cars that they had in the cannonball run that
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: the Muppets don't quite check those boxes. Like, who's supposed
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: to play the Jackie Chan role?
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: I think the Sammy Davis role. Who's going to be
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: Sammy and Dean? That's your big question.
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: Rolf?
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: You might hit it with Beaker and.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: and the scientist guy Bunsen honeydew.
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: Um, I mean, Statler and Waldorf maybe.
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah. I mean those, oh yeah. Statler and Waldorf
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: in their own car. Absolutely.
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: I think maybe, uh, Link heartthrob, uh, that would be,
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: he could be the Dean Martin character. Uh, but replacing Sammy,
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: maybe that should be, oh, maybe that should be Rizzo.
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: Which one was Rizzo?
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: He was the rat. He's basically the one that Pepe
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: has replaced as the outspoken one.
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: So the Muppet to play the Sammy Davis Jr. role
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: in the Muppets' Cannonball movie should be a rat? Look,
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: you're not wrong. Playing a lazy-eyed black crooner is a
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: different Is a difficult role to fill when you're the Muppets.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: You know, if you throw in, you could do Oscar
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: and Cookie Monster might be a good Sammy and Dean.
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: You know what? I can go with that because Cookie
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: Monster is eating cookies instead of drinking scotch and bourbon
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: the way that Dean would. I feel this. Once again,
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: we have struck gold. Hollywood needs to give us bags
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: of money because we will make it. You give us
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: Jim Henson's Muppets and the Cannonball Run, we will make billions.
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: All right. Finally, finally-ish here inside the Treehouse show today,
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: now that we're done with birthdays. We need to revisit
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: a story.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: Do you feel restless and anxious? Feel like something's missing
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: in your life? Maybe you just need a little more
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: Treehouse in it. Go to patreon.com slash treehouseonair and check
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: out all the bonus features a subscription offers, including bonus shows,
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: behind-the-scenes content, special subscriber-only live shows, and so much more.
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: That's patreon.com slash treehouseonair. That's p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com slash treehouseonair.
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: Do you remember the Florida woman who said the cocaine
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: found in her butt was not hers while being booked
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: into jail?
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: If she implied it had been put there.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: I didn't hear this one. Yeah. This was back in July.
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: We told you about a Florida woman who was arrested
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: after a traffic stop. And when she arrived at jail,
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: deputies say they discovered nearly four grams of cocaine hidden
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: in her jail purse. Her explanation? She claimed she had
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: no idea it was there and suggested it must have
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: been left behind during an intimate encounter. She went with
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: the old someone else put it there defense. Her name
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: was Regan Cox, still is, and her case has now
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: been adjudicated. The woman in question in this case, the
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: Florida woman who said that cocaine in her butt was
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: not hers, Regan Cox, has pled no contest to the charges.
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: And she has been sentenced after a plea deal, 18
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: months probation, fined $ 700, also sentenced to 70 days in jail,
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: which coincidentally is the same amount of time she's already
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: served in custody following her bust in late June. So
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: she is now copped to jail that the cocaine in
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: her butt was in fact hers and not put there
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: by somebody else during anal sex. So the mystery is solved.
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: I mean, you know how they have the leg monitors
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: that can pick up any alcohol or drugs? Think they
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: did like a butt plug for her? Yes, I hope so.
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: If there's any activity in and around the anus, it's
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: going to go off.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: Picks up any narcotics.
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: I think at that point, her probation officer should start
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: looking into either real estate or becoming a travel agent.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: Because as soon as you have to install a butt monitor,
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: I think I would hit up Indeed.com and start looking
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: for new employment. Mm-hmm.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: And if you can't stay out of jail with your
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: butt plug monitor, you have a real problem.
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: She found a way to get it off again.
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: I mean, or there's just, you know, talk about an
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: abusive relationship. You have somebody that just constantly is stuffing
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: narcotics up your ass.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: We love to role play, and in our role playing games,
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: she's the one that's always the mule.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: God, she'd be fun at an AA meeting. God, that'd
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: be a great share. Oh, my God.
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: That's an AA meeting I'd even go to. Hi, my
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: name is Dan. No, no, no, I'm not saying I'm
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: an alcoholic. I'm just here to see this chick. I'm
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: just here for this show, not to share.
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she would definitely be popular amongst the people that
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: want to introduce newbies to the 13th step.
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: Is it often that AA meetings are standing room only?
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: Only after holidays.
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: That'll do it for us here inside the tree house.
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: Thank you for hanging out with us. We appreciate it.
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: Thank you to our ultimate tree house subscribers who are
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: still running amok with Muppet movie ideas like Muppet Fury Road.
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: That could work really, really well. The Muppets doing all
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: the Marvel movies. And then one of my most horrifying
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: moments possibilities for a Muppet movie. Fifty Shades of Muppets.
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: All right, then. Miss Piggy strapped to a chair.
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: We'll see you next time. Inside the Treehouse. More Muppet movies.
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: Kermie would sound weird with a ball gag.