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She Fostered 99 Kids & Photographed Every One of Them — Here's What She Saw · Inside The Moms Club

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: We were on that wanting to do the fostered dots,
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: but we had gotten a call first for a little
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: eighteen month old and he came into our home as
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: just an emergency placement. And that's when I realized, Hey,
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: I really think I need to do just foster care
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: track and we did that for ninety of the kids.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: Welcome Moms, Welcome to Inside the Mom's Club. I'm your host,
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: Monica Samuels, and here's my co host, Julie Orchid. Hello Jewel,
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: I'm Monica, Julie. So you have been now you are
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: almost we call an almost empty nest.
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: Almost empty nester because when your child is in college,
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: that doesn't count.
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  Speaker 2: They can still show up at any time potentially, right, Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: even in the middle of a semester that can just
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  Speaker 2: appear never leave.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, So I mean almost empty nester and like getting close,
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: you're getting closed.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: But how's it? Because I know, you know, you were
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: a busy woman back in the day when when you
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: were going great guns with your kids. You were just
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: you have two daughters, you were, I know you were.
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  Speaker 3: I mean I feel like having two children, like it
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  Speaker 3: may sound easy, but I feel like I was all
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: over the place when I look back, my children were
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: in rock climbing in two different location four days a
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: week than somebody wanted to take gymnastics, and then they
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: pretended they wanted to go swimming and they really didn't.
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  Speaker 3: So there's like you're running around all over the place
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: and you're thinking about dinners and what is life like.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: You're like, what's for dinner tonight like? And my kids
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: may laugh because like, you never cooked, but they're grown,
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: they're fed, they're not malnourished. They made it sound good,
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: but anyway, my schedule it was crazy. And then you
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: think about what happens in an elementary school and the
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  Speaker 3: forums that you have to sign and everything that you're doing.
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  Speaker 3: And I was only doing it for two children.
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  Speaker 2: I know, well I have two, I have two sons,
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  Speaker 2: and I was just completely I was overwhelmed, and I
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  Speaker 2: was I was the team mom of my son's baseball team.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: I forced my oldest son to take saxophone lessons, which
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: he really didn't want to, and that's a challenge when
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: you're making somebody do something that they really don't want
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  Speaker 2: to do. He ended up taking drums though in the end,
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  Speaker 2: But I mean I was and then I was the
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  Speaker 2: I was the mom, the whatever you call it, the
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  Speaker 2: parent of the class in fourth grade. Homeroom mom, homeroom mom,
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: thank you, you're welcome the class. That would have been
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: a very complicated title. You're right, Yeah, I did all that.
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  Speaker 3: I mean sometimes they asked me we we know each
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  Speaker 3: other from school. Oh, and they would ask me to
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  Speaker 3: be a parent representative of either you're really hard up
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: are you sure you want me to have that job?
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  Speaker 3: But anyway, it was really just social functions for the parents,
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: which I'm good at. So that was fine.
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  Speaker 2: It was exhausting. It was like two kids. I don't
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  Speaker 2: know how I could have ever made it with a
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  Speaker 2: third kid. I don't I don't know when I would
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  Speaker 2: have had the energy, the time, the yeah.
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  Speaker 3: So yeah, well, I mean I don't think we're complaining.
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  Speaker 3: I think we're just saying that we were busy with
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  Speaker 3: a minimal number of children, and.
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  Speaker 2: Well, do you want me to make you feel incredibly
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  Speaker 2: both of us incredibly inadequate, like okay, super inadequate, like
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  Speaker 2: I feel that way alive complaining or saying and we
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: were complaining, We're.
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  Speaker 3: Just saying, how do you do it?
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: Okay, Well, get ready, I'm right, get ready here, because
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  Speaker 2: we have with us today a woman who's a certified
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: professional photographer and award winning artist, and she has a
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  Speaker 2: lifelong passion for storytelling through portraits. I can vouch for that.
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  Speaker 2: She's an amazing love amazing, as we say, a photographer. Yes,
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  Speaker 2: she is also the mom of eight. Now if that's
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  Speaker 2: not enough, she is a former foster parent to get
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  Speaker 2: round ninety nine children. She knows firsthand the power of love,
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  Speaker 2: connection and legacy. Please welcome, Howard, Welcome to the Mom's Club.
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: Hey Lorraine, Welcome Lorraine. We are in awe of you.
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  Speaker 2: We are completely in all of you. I mean, I
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: don't know tittle hero. You are my hero. I cannot
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  Speaker 2: even begin to imagine, because now I'm thinking, like, how
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  Speaker 2: easy did I have it?
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  Speaker 1: Oh?
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  Speaker 2: That was nothing like what was I I mean, I
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  Speaker 2: should have brought ten or twelve more kids in there
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  Speaker 2: and just added to the to the group exactly, although
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  Speaker 2: they wouldn't have eaten very well because I'm a terrible cook,
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  Speaker 2: so that would have been a problem. But well, tell us,
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  Speaker 2: so you you were a foster mom, but ninety nine kids,
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  Speaker 2: can you tell us how that began? Because there had
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  Speaker 2: to be a beginning to making that decision to have
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  Speaker 2: the first foster child. So can you just give us
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  Speaker 2: a little bit about your story of how that, how
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  Speaker 2: that happened.
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  Speaker 1: And thank you so much for having me today. I'm
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  Speaker 1: so excited to be here. I started thinking about foster
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  Speaker 1: care because I actually had my firstborn son. I have
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: two birth children, and the first one was born at
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  Speaker 1: twenty six weeks, and so we were in the NIKU
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  Speaker 1: for an extended amount of time. I think it was
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  Speaker 1: like fourteen weeks, and I saw all of the babies
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  Speaker 1: that were born talks positive, and I just kept noticing
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  Speaker 1: like a lot of the babies didn't have their mamas
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  Speaker 1: right there by their their little isolate, and I just
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  Speaker 1: started asking questions, and they were telling me that there
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  Speaker 1: was such a need for parents to be foster parents
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  Speaker 1: because they would have to call and contact the state
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  Speaker 1: and have those children go into foster care. And so
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  Speaker 1: that kind of put the bug in my mind, and
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  Speaker 1: then I did, like look into some foster care programs.
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  Speaker 1: I went to a few meetings and talked with them,
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  Speaker 1: and then we had our second baby and he was
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  Speaker 1: born five weeks early. And lastly, we were not in
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  Speaker 1: the nick you, but we were in the hospital for
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  Speaker 1: a long time before he was born, and that came
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  Speaker 1: back up again and it just really was placed on
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  Speaker 1: my heart to go and be a foster parent. Now,
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  Speaker 1: we ended up finding out I could not have any
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  Speaker 1: more children, and I had this dream for since I was.
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  Speaker 3: A little girl.
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  Speaker 1: I just wanted three little three three kids. So my
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  Speaker 1: life turned out to be way different than that. But
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  Speaker 1: because I had to have a hysterectomy at twenty four
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  Speaker 1: years old and I had to have I couldn't have
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  Speaker 1: any more babies, and we decided to start doing foster
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  Speaker 1: to adopt. Yet once we started having all of these
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  Speaker 1: children in our home, it was just the foster care
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  Speaker 1: part of it because we realized that all of those kids,
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  Speaker 1: there was so many that instead of just taking one
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  Speaker 1: child and being done it three right, we've we just
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  Speaker 1: realized there was such a need for foster parents that
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  Speaker 1: would just continue taking in the children that needed care.
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  Speaker 2: So let's I mean going back a little bit. So
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  Speaker 2: my oldest son, he was in the NICKU too, So
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  Speaker 2: I was there for ten weeks, so we could do
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  Speaker 2: a whole show on the nick You that's a whole
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  Speaker 2: other thing. Yeah, But I do remember because you're not
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  Speaker 2: allowed to ask about the other kids in the nickque.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: No one can ask about other children, but you always notice,
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  Speaker 2: and the doctors would tell you you'd see these poor babies
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  Speaker 2: detoxing from drugs, and you're right, there were no parents around.
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  Speaker 2: Does the state is step in immediately and take those
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  Speaker 2: I'm like, where does it start for those kids? Let's
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: just go through really quick which children end up in
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  Speaker 2: foster care so our audience can understand that. So is
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  Speaker 2: that how it starts. You're the parent is on drugs
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  Speaker 2: and they can see this baby has you know, he's
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  Speaker 2: addicted to crack or whatever, and they need to take
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  Speaker 2: care of that. Does that start the state takes charge?
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  Speaker 1: Yes, So a lot of times the state will know
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  Speaker 1: from the time the woman is pregnant and when if
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  Speaker 1: they don't like a lot of times they don't go
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  Speaker 1: in for prenatal care because they're trying to kind of
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  Speaker 1: hide the things that they're doing. So most of the
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  Speaker 1: kids that came into my home, they did not have
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  Speaker 1: prenatal care. And then once the baby is born in
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  Speaker 1: the hospital, they can tell mom is detoxing or very high,
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  Speaker 1: and so they do blood test on the baby and
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  Speaker 1: the mom and then it goes into investigation, and the
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  Speaker 1: babies and the parents have social workers, and if it's
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  Speaker 1: something that it is not a safe environment for those
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  Speaker 1: kiddos to go home with that parent, then the social
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  Speaker 1: workers will take over and they will try to find
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  Speaker 1: a home that is a perfect fit for the baby,
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  Speaker 1: the baby when it gets out of the hospital, for
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  Speaker 1: the needs that they're going to have.
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  Speaker 2: And those are the babies. So that starts with the
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  Speaker 2: kids in the NICKU. So then the other category, if
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  Speaker 2: you want to call it that of kids is their
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  Speaker 2: parents maybe got arrested or the state steps in, or
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  Speaker 2: there's been a report of abuse or neglect or whatever,
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  Speaker 2: and then the state goes in and takes charge of
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  Speaker 2: those kids.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yes, I think it's interesting because I my
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  Speaker 3: dearest friend from college it ended up adopting three children,
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  Speaker 3: and you know, foster to adopt, which I always have
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  Speaker 3: lots and lots of questions, and you are an excellent
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  Speaker 3: resource for this, so that most of the time correct
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  Speaker 3: me if I'm wrong that the children possibly we try
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  Speaker 3: to get them back together with the family, and that
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  Speaker 3: they are in foster care and not necessarily foster to adopt.
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  Speaker 3: So two different tracks and so I guess my question
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  Speaker 3: is all the children, I mean, how do how did
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  Speaker 3: you decide? Is it a calling for you or a feeling?
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  Speaker 3: I mean, tell me about that. How did you end
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  Speaker 3: up adopting? You know, six children?
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  Speaker 1: Right? So it definitely was a calling. I was very
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  Speaker 1: much into my church and we pray about it a lot.
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  Speaker 1: And once the children, so, like I said, we were
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  Speaker 1: on that wanting to do the FOSTA dots, but we
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: had gotten a call first for a little eighteen month
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  Speaker 1: old and he came into our home as just an
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: emergency placement. And that's when I realized, hey, I really
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: think I need to do just foster care track. And
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: we did that for ninety of the kids, and then
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: we switched into the FoST adopt track. So that's when
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  Speaker 1: we finally were like, oh, okay, there's we're ready to
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  Speaker 1: adopt and stop bringing.
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  Speaker 2: So you just wanted to practice being a parently figured
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  Speaker 2: by the time you hit ninety you were good. What
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  Speaker 2: I said, I mean a lot of practice. Yeah. Well so,
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  Speaker 2: and as a foster parent, you can't just sign up
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  Speaker 2: and say hey, i'll be a foster parent.
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  Speaker 3: I think I'm good, I'm gonna I'm a great parent.
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  Speaker 2: I'm a great mom. I but what do you do?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, so you start off and you go into a
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  Speaker 1: lot of classes, and you do have to get fingerprinted.
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  Speaker 1: If there's anybody over the age of eighteen in your home,
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  Speaker 1: they all have to be fingerprinted, and the social workers
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  Speaker 1: come to your house. They do inspections. You have interviews,
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  Speaker 1: so that comes for you know, the husband and the
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: wife and uh, any of the they'll ask the kids
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  Speaker 1: as well, just depending on their age. Once my older kids,
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  Speaker 1: uh you know, got older, they started asking them more
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  Speaker 1: detailed questions when we were adopting, so it's a lot
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: of It was several months. I think it was like
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: four months of training. I think it's different with every state,
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  Speaker 1: though we did ours in California was where we started.
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  Speaker 3: I mean, okay, that's a lot of kids. You've got
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  Speaker 3: to have a story or two.
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  Speaker 2: First. How many did you ever have in the house
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  Speaker 2: at one time?
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  Speaker 1: So, yeah, the largest amount was after we adopted. I
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  Speaker 1: had eight kiddos at one time, so it was the
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  Speaker 1: the six that we adopted and my two birth children,
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  Speaker 1: So that was a lot. Like you was playing the
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: band trips and we had two in band. We had
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  Speaker 1: some that we homeschool.
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: This is what I'm talking about.
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  Speaker 2: So did Julie's question that I kind of interrupted there,
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: what are some good stories?
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: You gotta have lots of You've got to got You've
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: got to have a couple wild stories that have a
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: lot of two kids.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: And so I'm sure one hundred and one kid? How
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: many kids is this all together? Then?
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, if you have any I counted about So we
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  Speaker 1: did have the ninety nine Uster children plus Tuber children.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: So that right there was my one hundred and one.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: Because we always had social workers go what about just
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: one more? Make it an even hundred, And I'm like, oh,
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  Speaker 1: I'm just like a Dalmatian.
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: I'm yeah, we're gonna stick with one and one.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, one hundred and one. But then we ended up
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: doing a foreign exchange student. So I've had a hundred children.
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  Speaker 2: Okay.
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  Speaker 1: It was really really a fun experience and so okay,
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  Speaker 1: so I don't have a funny story because not a
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: lot of funny stories coming.
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  Speaker 3: But that's what we said, wild, something you wouldn't believe, like, yeah,
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  Speaker 3: that might make.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: You go okay. So my very first placement, this is
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: how I was introduced to fosswork here and he was
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: an eighteen month old little precious baby boy, and mom
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: did not know if her boyfriend was the daddy. Okay,
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: were her boyfriend's dad was the daddy?
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: Oh that might mess with genetics a little bit.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, blood test praternity tests could not determine who the
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: daddy was. Wow.
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that can't make it up. Yeah, huh. I wonder
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: how they do child support in that case. Later on
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: it is like, okay, each of you pay half. I
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: that's kind of strange. Okay, well that is that's quite
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: a story, I must say. Oh.
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: Yes, so you were telling us yesterday about their names,
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: Like what was the when you were adopting the kids,
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: they got to pick their names or you let them
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: change their name in some cases, or what I told
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: us a little bit about.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: That one of Well, I had one set of kids
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: that came through and they all had vampire names. That's
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: good throughout there were books that are out there, so
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: that was a little crazy. And then a lot of
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: times parents will mispell their names because you know, like
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: we talked about earlier, they were born talks positive or whatever,
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: and moms just kind of puts some weird stuff on
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: the re certificate.
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: Well, it's hard to spell on drugs sometimes I would
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: imagine so.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so I've had some really difficult to pronounce names.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: But the one kiddo that we ended up adopting, his
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: name was spelled incorrectly and he was always so frustrated.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: So he was in kindergarten when we were going through
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: the adoption process and he wanted to change his name
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: because he did not like his name, and so we
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: were like, all right, let's get a few ideas together
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: and you can help us pick out your name. And
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: the first name he said he wanted Superman, and we're like, oh.
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: Maybe solid choice. I would have been one of the woman.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but we were like, oh, there's already an amazing
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: Superman out there. Let's find something really great for you.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: And so, you guys, he wanted the name chicken Head.
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: Solid.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: So one of my kiddos, he was into video games
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: and stuff and they would call him chicken Chaser, and
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: so they were just like, that's where he got that
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: name from.
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: Us, And it seems fine to me.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it is fun kids go through that. Though. My
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: son he was obsessed with for a while for some reason, Cinderella,
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: and there was a character named chubby, and so we
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: had to call him chubby or he wouldn't answer anything else.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: And it was awful to take him to the store
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: because he'd run off and you'd yell his name and
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: he wouldn't answer, and then finally you'd have respond to chubby.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: Get over here. Then everybody looked at you like, well,
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: you're an awful mother calling that kid chubby.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, that's so yeah.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: But so he didn't keep chicken Head, right, tell us
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: what happened? Got it? Changed names?
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: Eventually said, luckily, So he allowed him. I mean he
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: was in kindergarten. He wasn't going to say, you know,
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: take it from mom and dad. So we actually allowed
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: him to go to kindergarten and tell all of his
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: peers that his name was going to be Chickenhead. And
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: then then we'd let you know, the principal and the
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: peers and the teachers like, I don't really think that
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: that's a really good name, And so we ended up
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: coming up with the name Aiden, and he is.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: That's a beautiful name.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: He's a perfect Aida.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: That is nice.
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: You know, you have this really great background. I see
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: back there, I see some blue ribbons on things. Well, yeah,
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: tell us about.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: Your photography and how that relates to your foster care,
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: because that is a beautiful story.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: Yes. So I noticed with all of the kiddos that
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: were coming in, they you know, they would come in
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: with just like a bag of clothes, like a garbage
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: bag of clothes. Then they didn't have really any memories,
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: none of them out of all ninety nine, none of
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: them came with pictures really. Yes, And so you know,
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: I grew up with my daddy. He was a photographer
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: and he liked to do artistry, and I would sit
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: there watching him do paintings and stuff in Bob Ross right. Yeah,
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: So I always had that artistic growing up, and I
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: loved grabbing his camera. So I ordered a camera specifically
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: so that I could not just the regular, you know,
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: little point and shoot, but I wanted a real camera.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: And I started taking pictures of the kiddos so that
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: they could when they moved into out of our foster
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: home into an adoptive placement, or if they went home,
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: they would have memories to take with them of the
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: time that they were there. And then another important thing
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: that was so it's so important is to have if
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: you're a foster parent, to have pictures of your foster
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: children up on the walls as well, not just your
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: birth children, but for them too, so that they can
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: feel included and now inclusive vented. Yes, And so I
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: actually started donating to foster families and adoptive families photo shoots.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: So the pictures up on the wall of those kiddos
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: as well.
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: What a gift, I mean if you think about it,
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: I mean like, not only is she driving these kids
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: around to activities, she's learning how to perfect photography.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: That I mean that is amazing, as we say here, yeah,
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: and very wonderful. And you do senior portraits for these kids,
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: how you really take care of them, make sure they
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: have something special when they graduate.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: So there's so many foster kids that are seniors in
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: high school and they're just about to age out of
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: the program and they don't have the funds. A lot
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: of them have turned eighteen and they're kind of in
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: this like holding pattern and they're not in foster homes,
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: and so they I donate to foster kids that are
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: in the system that need senior portraits for their yearbook,
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: and you know, to have them feel like you know,
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: all the other birth children that they would have pictures
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: in the in the yearbook as well, And so I
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: donate and then I actually have one per year. I
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: have somebody from the community that will ask for one child. They'll,
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: you know, we'll I'll go through different applications and things,
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: and we'll pick one of the kiddos that deserves to
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: have a full blown like the full right blown. So
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: they'll come in, they'll have their hair done, their makeup done,
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: we do a full day of photography in different places
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: they want to go. So we'll even do destination places
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: like go to the ocean or the whatever is like
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: their jams.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: So, I mean, I can imagine how that would make
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: a child feel the amount of love that you know,
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: to have your photo taken and to you know, feel
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: like you know what is in my future and all
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: the things that you know our children think about. But
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: even more so for a foster child. Oh yeah, yeah.
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: So if you were advising someone interested in being a
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: foster parent, what what what your characteristics should be to
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: be an ideal foster parent, Like give give a mom
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: out there some advice he thinks, you know what, I
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: think this would be great. Give her some.
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: Advice and give us some tips on what you think. Yeah,
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: and then it's a good environment.
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: And even the like tougher things like hey, you might
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: get called if you work, they have to kids go
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: to the doctor all the time. You know, other things happen.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: So share that with us because there's people in the
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: audience who are listening now who I think are considering
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: taking this step to be such a.
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: Such a beautiful stuff. A lot of moms think about it.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so you did hit on something I did at
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: some points of my life. I did have to have
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: a job. I would not suggest it. So these kiddos
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: that come in, they have a lot of doctor's appointments,
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: and they have a lot of time that they go
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: and visit with their birth parents, and so you are
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: doing more than the typical dropping them off at school
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: and picking them up that you know, getting them in
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: sports and stuff. You have counseling. I mean, there's so
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: many things that you have to take them do. And
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: there is often times that I was in the er
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: with kiddos and so it was very difficult for me
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: to get up in the morning. And you know when
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: you're or just leaving straight from an emergency room and
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: trying to go tag out with somebody to sit with
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: the kiddo and you go to work. So you want
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: to make sure that you have the support system, a
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: speed of spouse, a partner, parents, friends that are able
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: to be fingerprinted and come in and help provide for
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: that child. So that's a huge one that I definitely
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: learned over the years.
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: You have correct to me if I'm wrong, I mean
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: to interrupt your Lorraine, but every person that has has
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: involvement with this child's finger printed?
• 23:22
  Speaker 5: Is that?
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: Yes, So if it's just like one or two hours,
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: I think I mean.
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: Back then baby. Yeah, Okay, I see.
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: What you're saying. So if your husband's a bank robber,
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: you probably should not do right, got it? Yes?
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: Okay, So yeah, definitely you have to have support because
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: your emotions you have to be super strong for all
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: of these kiddos, but you also have to have the
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: ability to go out and take care of yourself as well,
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: because it is emotionally taxing, physically exhausting, and I mean
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: sometimes especially if you get like a baby that's detoxing
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: hospital up all night all night long and just constantly,
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: you know, and then if you have teenagers.
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: You're up all night. It really doesn't change, like it
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: doesn't even like I'm kidding, different kind of stress.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: Why, yeah, and then let's see just a kind heart.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: So I the thing that I get the most is
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: I just couldn't give them up. That's what I hear
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: all the time. And I thought that too when I
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: first started. But you have to just be in a
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: different mindset when you're like, I'm caring and giving this
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: child the best possible that they could have at that moment,
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: and lots of prayers to send them on to the
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: next person.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's gotta be hard to say goodbye, But how
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: do you say hello to these kids? Like, aren't they're
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: coming into an environment You're you like, how do you
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: their belongings are come back? Yeah with you?
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: Yes, So you like, we would have them come in,
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: and it's so important. They may be bringing a bear
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: that is the most nasty, icky, never been washed, gross thing,
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: but you let them keep that because that has a
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: familiar smell, and you know, you're just like, yeah, there
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: has been times that things have come in a diaper
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: bag or things that I'm just like, this is even
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: appropriate to be in our home, and you just gently
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: hand it back off to the social worker. Oh there's
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: been some surprises. Oh, I'm sure, yeah, but you just
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: I always had like warm you know, you get the
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: phone call at two in the morning, and there's so
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: many times I would be baking chocolate chip cookies at
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: two thirty in the morning, you know, So I go in,
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: I get the room all prepared, and you know, if
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: it's a if it's a kid that needs to be
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: in a crib, you put up a crib really fast
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: in the middle of the night. Or if it's you know,
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: a kid that needs a bed, you're setting up that bed.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: So you do that, you'll get some you know, it
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: smells really nice when they come in. A lot of
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: times they're totally freaked out because they're coming from a
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: home that is chaos and they're coming into a home
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: that is well put together and clean, and they may
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: not be used to that. So, I mean, it's a
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: lot of different things that you don't really think about
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: until you're in the middle of it, or taking ticking
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: the classes and you see the pictures of what it
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: truly looks like in homes and you're just kind of flabbergasted, like,
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: oh my god.
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: I'm sivilly, I'm grasping that you when you say that
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: it's nice to be able to stay home, that you
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: actually probably took this photography not probably took your photography
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: business and grew it to where you could allow yourself
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: that type of freedom.
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yeah, because we had one kiddo that we
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: actually adopted that was constantly in the hospital and I
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: just could not keep down a full term, full time job.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: So it was much better for me to be able
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: to make my own schedule. And I gave my notice
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: and started my photography studio. And it was the best
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: decision ever because I was able to involve that child.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: I wasn't gone all the time, as more present, and
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: that is what that particular child needed more and she
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: was able to come with me on different sessions and
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: it was really a blessing for both of us. And
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: then I just grew from there.
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: Well, you're incredibly talented.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: Well I was going to say she should change her
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: name to Superwoman. I think that actually you could take
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: or wonder Woman or something. You probably could get away
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: with that.
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: In the original she took of you, Oh yeah, she
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: took my she's a photographer.
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: Ever, if you want to see my my current headshot
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: that's online. That's that was Lorraine who took that photos.
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: Actually does a great, great job. So do these foster
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: parents do they get some kind of financial support or
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: do you get therapists available for them or what what
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: sort of resources do the foster parents have?
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: Okay, so at when you start foster care, the kids
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: do come with the stipend. Now, don't go into foster
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: care to have it as a job. I can you
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: get as money because there is not your You're buying
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: things for these kiddos and you kind of like, I
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: don't know, you kind of spoil them rotten. So I
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: didn't ever. I was always putting money out. So this
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: is more of a ministry that you do this for
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: the kiddos. So it's definitely not enough to pay pay
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: bills and stuff. I'll just put it that way. Yeah,
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: now I have when you switch over the kiddos, all
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: of their medical is paid for, their dental is paid for,
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: and foster parents have great support groups within the child
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: protective services. So that part was fantastic when you The
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: one thing that I wish that states would do a
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: better job of is when they go into FoST adopt
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: and that child becomes adopted. They do still receive their
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: medical paid for their dental, so they're on state assistance. However,
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: the support for parents kind of goes down, and so
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: that part's really hard. So like, if you get a
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: kiddo that really has intense needs, it's very difficult for
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: the adoptive parent to get help. That is something I
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: would like please states.
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, listen to the people who are actually caring for
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: these children and their needs. Yeah, very well. Put.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: You also mentioned saying have a good support system, let's
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: get up there and lobby for that. So you also
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: mentioned that you have some interaction with the birth parents
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: at times.
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: What is that like, Yes, So like typically when you
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: first start off with the kids in foster care, like
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: the kids, we would bring the kids to like the
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: back door, come through the front door, and so you're
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: never the birth parents, never really see what the foster
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: parents look like. But there are times where you can
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: after a while, you work with the social worker and
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: you can meet up with them, especially if it's a
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: fuss to adopt child. I did a lot of work
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: with the birth parents, and I just always had asked,
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: I know a lot of foster parents are like we
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: don't want anything to do with them, and you have
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: that right, but I want to. I was always like
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: that kind heart and like I know there's good in
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: this person.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: So yes, yeah, it just depends on the family.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, Lorraine, we have some moms who have a
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: lot of you. There's so many questions about this, but yes,
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: we have some moms in the studio who have questions
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: for you as well, and they are our zoomer moms. Welcome,
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: Zoomer moms, Welcome to inside the Mom's Club. I'm going
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: to introduce each of you. Please tell us a little
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: bit about yourself. Where you're from.
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and do you have.
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: A question for Lorraine Ginger, Please tell us a little
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: bit about yourself and welcome to the Mom's Club.
• 31:43
  Speaker 5: Hello, thank you so much, so excited to be with
• 31:46
  Speaker 5: you guys today.
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: My name is Ginger Moore.
• 31:49
  Speaker 5: I'm from Goodletsville, Tennessee, so apologize for the Southern accent here.
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: College love it.
• 31:57
  Speaker 5: I have six children. It's a mixed bag. I have
• 32:00
  Speaker 5: three bio and international adoption and then two foster children,
• 32:05
  Speaker 5: so they range from twenty six to three. So I
• 32:09
  Speaker 5: will never be in empty nesters. You guys were talking
• 32:11
  Speaker 5: about but also through that, I recently started a platform,
• 32:20
  Speaker 5: living in full Bloom at living in full bloom dot
• 32:23
  Speaker 5: org and it's for all moms, but my heart is
• 32:26
  Speaker 5: really for the adoptive in foster moms because there's just
• 32:30
  Speaker 5: some things that we understand that with the trauma and
• 32:33
  Speaker 5: with all these where people have different don't know their
• 32:36
  Speaker 5: dads that like you shared Lorraine and that kind of thing.
• 32:38
  Speaker 5: So so having that foster background, this is the question
• 32:43
  Speaker 5: that I wanted to ask you. I know that there's
• 32:46
  Speaker 5: like a lot of change, you know, when kids come
• 32:48
  Speaker 5: into our home, just the change of environment and.
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: All of that.
• 32:51
  Speaker 5: There's a lot of behaviors that people are like, Okay,
• 32:54
  Speaker 5: this are going to have to change.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: But my question is what would you say.
• 32:59
  Speaker 5: How have you you change? Having these not a non
• 33:02
  Speaker 5: children good question. Wow, Okay, my patience has had to
• 33:07
  Speaker 5: go way up. There's a lot of praying for you know,
• 33:10
  Speaker 5: they always say, don't pay pray for patients, but yeah,
• 33:14
  Speaker 5: you do have to have patients. Honestly, I did a lot,
• 33:21
  Speaker 5: Like if I would take the kiddos out into the
• 33:24
  Speaker 5: stores and stuff, I did do a lot more looking
• 33:28
  Speaker 5: over my shoulder and just making sure that the kiddos
• 33:33
  Speaker 5: are safe, that there's not only that shouldn't be around us.
• 33:38
  Speaker 5: So that was a big change for me. It was
• 33:40
  Speaker 5: something I didn't think think about before. You have them
• 33:46
  Speaker 5: in your rome.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: And then just a lot of times they're so used
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: to like people yelling, and so I started talking a
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: lot quieter and whispering, and then they actually listen to
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: you because they've blocked out like the yelling. So that
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: was that was something really different for me. So wow, yeah,
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: really yeah, it's a lot of change, not just for
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: the parents, but for the other children that are in
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: your home as well. So let's say you have your
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: birth children, you have some foster kids, and then you
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: have other kids come in. It's such an uproar. And
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: sometimes kids don't like the other kids, and sometimes you
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: don't like the kids to sure home and you're just like, okay,
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: please got just something, move on. But then there's other
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: times you're just like, oh my gosh, this baby.
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: Is so yeah. I mean, I think this is real life.
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: I mean all of those issues, you know what I mean,
• 34:50
  Speaker 3: whether it's a discipline issue or you're like I love
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: you today, but I do not like you or something,
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean like that. So I want
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: to flip that question to you, Jen. Sure, oh that's.
• 35:02
  Speaker 5: Guess patience for sure, like she said, But it is
• 35:08
  Speaker 5: just you have got to have self control and calmness really,
• 35:12
  Speaker 5: because there are behaviors.
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: You have to just understand the root of the behavior.
• 35:18
  Speaker 5: You know, there's like this iceberg and there's all of
• 35:20
  Speaker 5: these you know, the behaviors, abiding to hitting the bad words,
• 35:24
  Speaker 5: you know, whatever.
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: The behavior is.
• 35:26
  Speaker 5: But it's so much deeper than that, and so you
• 35:30
  Speaker 5: just have to take a minute to pause and to
• 35:32
  Speaker 5: just think about what that is. And so from parenting,
• 35:35
  Speaker 5: going from having bio kids and parenting a little bit
• 35:38
  Speaker 5: differently there because I knew their history and I knew everything.
• 35:42
  Speaker 3: The biggest way that.
• 35:43
  Speaker 5: Yes, I've had to change is just taking that pause
• 35:45
  Speaker 5: to think, Okay, what is really the root of what's.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: Going on here?
• 35:49
  Speaker 5: Because it's most of the time not what I think
• 35:52
  Speaker 5: then it is. But just taking that moment to process
• 35:55
  Speaker 5: that and just to pray through that and to react differently.
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: My reaction has had to change.
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: So yeah, good answer, Yeah, reaction time.
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: Tatum, Welcome to the Mom's Club. Tell us a little
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: bit about yourself, where you're from and do you have
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: a question.
• 36:10
  Speaker 6: It's great to be here. This is what a worthwhile
• 36:15
  Speaker 6: podcast this is. I think a lot of people could
• 36:19
  Speaker 6: get quite a bit out of it. I must say,
• 36:21
  Speaker 6: I'm so impressed by both you ladies, all you ladies.
• 36:25
  Speaker 6: But the Lorraine, my god. I mean, I live in Ventura, California,
• 36:31
  Speaker 6: but I'm from fennes See originally by coincidence, and I
• 36:35
  Speaker 6: grew up in Nashville in my early years. But I
• 36:38
  Speaker 6: have four kids. The youngest is my adopted son. I
• 36:42
  Speaker 6: was his foster.
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: Mom and.
• 36:47
  Speaker 6: It's one of the most rewarding experiences that you can
• 36:52
  Speaker 6: possibly have. And I'm in my two bio kids. They
• 36:58
  Speaker 6: are so love being and just took their little brother
• 37:03
  Speaker 6: in and make time for him, even though they're grown
• 37:06
  Speaker 6: now and they had busy lives. And my step son
• 37:09
  Speaker 6: is the oldest, and he as well is always available
• 37:12
  Speaker 6: to my younger one. But my question for you, and
• 37:17
  Speaker 6: you know, I was a foster mom for four years,
• 37:19
  Speaker 6: and I know that you see some really, really troubling things,
• 37:26
  Speaker 6: and what these kids have gone through is just I mean,
• 37:32
  Speaker 6: it's it's so heartbreaking, but it's also it brings you
• 37:36
  Speaker 6: into a whole new human experience because It's something that
• 37:41
  Speaker 6: you could never imagine that a human being could do
• 37:45
  Speaker 6: to anyone, and to have them do anything to their
• 37:49
  Speaker 6: something like that to their own child is just it's
• 37:52
  Speaker 6: something that's.
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: Very hard to grasp.
• 37:53
  Speaker 6: And I give a lot of credits to all the
• 37:56
  Speaker 6: social workers day in and day out that go into
• 37:58
  Speaker 6: these homes and and in the most horrific circumstances and
• 38:03
  Speaker 6: have enough dedication and faith to these kids to stick
• 38:09
  Speaker 6: with it and to if they can't be placed, you know,
• 38:13
  Speaker 6: into their own home again, to find you know, a
• 38:17
  Speaker 6: loving home for them. But my question to you, let
• 38:21
  Speaker 6: me get to that, is that do you do you
• 38:23
  Speaker 6: see a lot of or any of the kids that
• 38:27
  Speaker 6: you fostered and you have a container sit with them,
• 38:31
  Speaker 6: because I know when they age out of the system,
• 38:34
  Speaker 6: there isn't a safety net for them. They don't have support,
• 38:38
  Speaker 6: they don't know how to do anything. And I know
• 38:40
  Speaker 6: there's a lot of legislation coming. I think something passed
• 38:44
  Speaker 6: very recently that for foster specifically specifically for foster kids,
• 38:50
  Speaker 6: to help them, you know, build life skills and such.
• 38:53
  Speaker 6: But do you get involved with with that once they've
• 38:57
  Speaker 6: aged out or or is that something that you know
• 39:00
  Speaker 6: you have so much, you just you know, at some
• 39:02
  Speaker 6: point you just have.
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: To let go.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: So me personally, yes, I am involved in every single
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: one of the teenagers that I have.
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: Wow, that's amazing. I mean, yeah, I am amazed.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: Mama to kiddos all over the United States and I've been,
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: I've gone. So they have now started having children and
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: I actually got to go like into the hospital and
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: help them birth their baby. And I actually had one
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: of my kids come live in our home and I
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: taught her how to care for her newborn because she
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: did not have an idea of how and so I
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: have done that several times and I absolutely love it.
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: And so you know, when I had that particular teenager,
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: I was still like twenty nine years old or something,
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: so I started pretty young and I just her fifty now,
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: but so it's been several years. But I absolutely loved
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: bringing her back into our home and helping her learn skills.
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: So and before they leave, I always make sure that
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: they know how to write a check because they don't
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: know how to do balancing a checkbook or things like that.
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: And I do help like them find their first apartment
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: and let's get you into college. And there's so many
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: different things out there that can support them that aren't told.
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: But you know, they can go to college for free.
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: Especially like if you do foster to adopt, those kiddos
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: get scholarships to go to college, and so you help
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: them get going on that. I know one of my kiddos,
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: she now has her masters in psychology or criminal justice. Well,
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: you know, she's like, thank you so much for pushing
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: me to be a better person and just help them
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: get the services that they need. I know a lot
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: of foster parents. It just depends on the foster parents' personality.
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: A lot of them they're like, Okay, they're gone and
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: they're just done. But I chose in my heart to
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: help them because they're a person that was in my
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: home and I loved them. You have to love these
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: children where they're at, and it doesn't ever look like
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: the children that you personally birthed, and they've had a
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: lot of trauma, and so you have to love them
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: where they're at.
• 41:41
  Speaker 3: Well, you bring up a really good point in the
• 41:43
  Speaker 3: answer to this question. What does it look like for
• 41:47
  Speaker 3: some of these kids that have aged out? Do they
• 41:50
  Speaker 3: want their own families? Do they lead normal You know,
• 41:55
  Speaker 3: I don't know what normal is, but you know what
• 41:57
  Speaker 3: I mean, like get married, have children, maybe become a
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: foster parent themselves or something. What is the path that
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: you have seen with most of them? And how many
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: times have you been asked to be a godmother.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: All of them? But it's kind of crazy. I did
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: not expect this, and I don't know if it's just
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: the generational thing that's right now that's going on. But
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: a lot of the children that I have adopted have
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: chosen not to have children because they want to stop
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: the generational cycle. However, the kiddos that have moved out
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: of my home and I didn't like adopt and they're
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: not like part of that core family I do see.
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: I have seen a lot of the generational cycle come back,
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: and so they really need the support of the alcohol
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: and the drugs, being able to stay away from it
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: and learning what friends good friends are our peers that
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: they need to be around to keep them away from
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: those things. And so it's really good if they can
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: still That's why I think I chose for them to
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: stay in our life so that I can always be
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: that support system. They know that they can contact me
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: at two o'clock in the morning, and say your.
• 43:20
  Speaker 3: Mom, your mom, that's who you are to them, brain you.
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: Were truly we have a word here on the Mom's Club.
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: It's amazing, and it's like it's like above amazing. It's
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: like one step over. It's supposed to be a little French,
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: so it's more fancy more over that because I mean
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: I need to get together with you later and find
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: like when do you find the time to have a photography.
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: I'm ashamed of myself that I'm so busy. I mean,
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: you know, and what you do. You say, you're fifty,
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: you probably lived at like a one hundred and ten
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: years of about of all your activities and everything. So
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: she's got dreams.
• 44:01
  Speaker 3: I think like once you turn fifty, I mean you
• 44:04
  Speaker 3: have a dream that something that you would like to
• 44:06
  Speaker 3: do for yourself.
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: So you're youngest now is graduating from high school this year.
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: I mean, what's gonna happen?
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: What are you gonna do? I'm like, you're just gonna
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: what a vacation or what? Are you ready for it?
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: I mean I know what.
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: You're ready for it. Actually, in two weeks we're gonna
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: go and my husband has a conference over in Tennessee.
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: So y'all say in Tennessee is like, I just feel
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: so wrong there, and we're gonna kind of look around.
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: But I actually have an f on my dream board.
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: Am I allowed to say? What that dream is?
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: What I want to do all about dreaming?
• 44:42
  Speaker 7: Absolutely my dream is. I mean, now he's gonna I
• 44:48
  Speaker 7: think he's probably may is graduation. I'm pretty sure he's
• 44:52
  Speaker 7: just gonna go. He's like ready to go, you know,
• 44:56
  Speaker 7: And I'm.
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: Ready you guys to be like, oh, empty nest. I'm
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: looking forward to it.
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: You've earned it, so sure, I'm sure, and I.
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: Want to We even have our pestports ready. And what
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: my dream is to be on vacation with a family
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: that has their kids, because you know, moms are always
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: the one behind the camera and taking the pictures, and
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: they're never in the story. So like when they look back,
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: it's most of the time it's just digital anyway, and
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: so they're not seeing themselves. But I see the beauty
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: in women and self empowerment. And but I want to
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: go on vacation with the families and be the person
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: to take their pictures and uh, let's go on a
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: yacht or.
• 45:47
  Speaker 3: Listen, I'm sorry. Inside the mom's clubs listeners, did you
• 45:51
  Speaker 3: just hear that Lorraine will take photos, especially of the
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: mothers on these vacations. I had to get real friendly
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: with that self timer. If I was going to have
• 46:00
  Speaker 3: any pictures.
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: That's in it. You had to learn how to use that.
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: So it's a beautiful dream.
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: So if you're a mom out there with a yacht
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: going to the Amalfi Coast this summer and you want
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: to bring someone along, Lorraine here will be happy to
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: connect with you. Speaking of that, Loraine, how can our
• 46:18
  Speaker 2: listeners find you on social media and your photography?
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: Okay, so my website is Lorrainehoward dot com and any
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: of the so Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube all has
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: the call handle of Lorraine Howard Photography.
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: Beautiful, awesome, Wait and thank you to our zoomer moms.
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: We love our zoomer moms and as always, they were
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: so insightful, asked such great questions, added to this episode
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: in such amazing yea.
• 46:48
  Speaker 3: And thank you ladies. I mean yeah, also adopted children
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: and been a foster parent as well.
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: So we honor all of you here. Yeah, and if
• 46:57
  Speaker 2: you would like to be a Zoomer mom, go to
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: our website, inside the Mom's Club dot com. There is
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: a button I don't know what else to call it.
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: Just click on that and you can sign up to
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: be a Zoomer Mom. Or you can DM us see
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: if you can find our producer in La call her personally.
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: I know she would love that and offer to be
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: a Zoomer Mom. And we would just love for you
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: to join us. And you can also find us on
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: social media at Inside the Mom's Club. We're on TikTok Facebook.
• 47:27
  Speaker 3: My heart is full today, it really is.
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: Oh We're also what else are we on TikTok Facebook?
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: YouTube? If you are watching us on YouTube right now,
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: subscribe at that subscribe button. We are growing like crazy
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: and we would love to add you as a subscriber
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: to our show. Well, Julie, as time goes by so fast.
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: But we have a special motto, especially today, remember our motto.
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: If you don't laugh sometimes moms.
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: You are going to cry.
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: We're going to cry, flapping moms, and we will see
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: you next time. Inside the Mom's Club.
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: Fast ever, prepet under padfast ever prepared under warefast never
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: peopet under warefast