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Home Organization is not about Achieving Perfection · The Realtor Who Wines

• 0:00
  Welcome to the Realtor Who Wines podcast.
• 0:02
  I'm Rachelle Newmeyer, your hostess with the most as a student of life, a connector, a passionate wine enthusiast, and your local favorite guide.
• 0:10
  Join me as we explore the vibrant Pacific Northwest.
• 0:14
  Savor the finest wines and champion the spirit of entrepreneurship.
• 0:18
  Each episode, I'll sit down with inspiring guests, supporting business ownership and uncovering the stories that make this community unique.
• 0:25
  So grab a glass of wine, settle in, and let's embark on a journey of discovery and connection together. Cheers.
• 0:33
  Hi everyone.
• 0:34
  Welcome back to the realtor who whines.
• 0:36
  I'm Rachelle Neumeyer, your local realtor who whines.
• 0:40
  I am very excited to have my good friend Kristy on the show today.
• 0:43
  Kristy, cheers to you.
• 0:45
  Thank you for being here.
• 0:50
  Thank you for having me.
• 0:51
  Yeah.
• 0:51
  Of course I want you to introduce yourself.
• 0:54
  But first, let's just give the hubs a shout out really quick.
• 0:57
  We're drinking wine that Kristy brought.
• 1:00
  Do you want to just talk about it really quick or.
• 1:02
  Sure. Give him.
• 1:04
  My husband has gotten together with a group of guys.
• 1:07
  And they make wine.
• 1:11
  Just as kind of like a hobby sort of thing.
• 1:13
  And every year it gets better and better and better.
• 1:16
  Yeah.
• 1:16
  And so, we named it Elwood Sellers after one of our dogs.
• 1:22
  And, it's a nice claret.
• 1:24
  A combination of, Cabernet and Malbec. Yeah.
• 1:29
  So it's got some deep flavor to it.
• 1:33
  You have a husband that makes wine?
• 1:34
  I have a husband that makes wine.
• 1:36
  That's pretty neat.
• 1:37
  I need to find one of those.
• 1:40
  You just.
• 1:41
  We're just kidding.
• 1:42
  We're running out of space to store the wine.
• 1:44
  Yeah, I don't have a husband that makes wine.
• 1:47
  And I also, I'm running out of space for my wine collection.
• 1:51
  Well, good thing you have this podcast lined up.
• 1:54
  That's true. That is very true.
• 1:57
  Thank you for sharing his wine with me, I appreciate it.
• 2:01
  you please introduce yourself to everybody and let them know who you are, if I must? Yes. Just kidding. Yes.
• 2:08
  So, my name is Christy Griffin, and I am a professional home organizer with the sorted type.
• 2:15
  I started my business, I'd worked for somebody else for a while, and I realized I really wanted to specialize in helping women who struggle with ADHD.
• 2:29
  Because the more I started researching it, the more I realized, hey, I think this might be me now, I haven't been fully tested.
• 2:38
  And you should.
• 2:40
  And to find out kind of what that means to you.
• 2:43
  So if you don't know what ADHD is, it's attention deficit disorder, hyperactivity disorder. And, And the morning or the evening traffic is going by.
• 2:58
  So it's like, bear with us here.
• 3:01
  They were excited to hear about it. Yeah.
• 3:03
  Anyway, yeah, thanks for ADHD, ADHD, that's you know, yeah, we're impulsive.
• 3:11
  So that kind of like just waiting there.
• 3:14
  Hong Kong very well.
• 3:16
  Anyway, I have always struggled my whole life and just about everything, but I've always found or tried to find workarounds for it, and it life just kind of felt like a struggle when it really shouldn't have.
• 3:33
  Yeah. And, when I started learning more about it, I realized how much, easier life could be if you put certain tools and things into place to help with, basically it's an exact you have, I can't remember how many executive functions you have, but there's some that are not firing in the right way.
• 3:57
  Sure.
• 3:59
  And when that happens, it can make things difficult.
• 4:03
  Things could be like, time blindness.
• 4:06
  Like you're unaware of time passing, like you understand time.
• 4:12
  But you know how people say you lose track of time?
• 4:15
  Yeah, well, when you have ADHD, some people really lose track of time.
• 4:22
  So, or they don't know how to, organize their thoughts, share or organize their spaces in a way that works for how their brain functions.
• 4:35
  Yeah.
• 4:36
  Well, something that you talk a lot about when you are out in the public and talking about what you do and things, is that, like a lot of us organize our space the way we think it's supposed to be organized, and it's not actually like what would make sense for our own brain or how we operate.
• 4:54
  So that's what I love that you with.
• 4:56
  When you meet with your clients, you actually spend a lot of time getting to know them, what their needs are of the space and like what actually makes sense for them.
• 5:05
  Because we see on Pinterest or TV or social media like, oh, George should look this way when you open it, but that might make like zero sense to your brain and you spend the time, like organizing it that way, and then you're still can't find anything because you're like, why are aren't there pens in here?
• 5:24
  You're like, oh, yeah, because I put them over there because social media.
• 5:27
  So that would be awesome.
• 5:28
  Yeah, yeah.
• 5:30
  I for me, it's very important to understand how you specifically think in order to create a space that works in harmony with you.
• 5:42
  And, that was one of my key frustrations when I worked for somebody else is they do a lovely job.
• 5:48
  Don't get me wrong.
• 5:50
  They do a lovely job.
• 5:51
  They are lovely people.
• 5:54
  But I kind of felt like there were certain times it was a one size fits all.
• 5:57
  And really, organizing isn't a one size fits all.
• 6:01
  Yeah.
• 6:02
  And for me, I wanted to make sure people that.
• 6:09
  Didn't fit and that one size fits all were being served.
• 6:13
  I actually just had a conversation with, a potential client that's coming up and, she's like, I'm going to be 1,000% honest.
• 6:25
  I have a lot of shame wrapped up in how I'm feeling about my space.
• 6:32
  And, because of how many years, I'm not going to say how many years, she said, but, yeah, it's it's enough.
• 6:39
  And that I haven't been able to figure this out myself.
• 6:43
  Yeah.
• 6:44
  And I just like I respond, I had to respond to her as quickly as I could.
• 6:50
  I'm like my sweet friend, please know this.
• 6:53
  This is not anything to do with you.
• 6:57
  It's the fact that the right tools, the, the systems that you need that work for how you think have not been presented to you.
• 7:06
  People have been showing you how they do it, which is more so in a neurotypical way.
• 7:11
  Yeah. And that doesn't work for you.
• 7:13
  That's not how your brain processes things.
• 7:16
  Yeah. Well, not to mention that.
• 7:18
  Like, I mean, does anybody ever figure everything out? No.
• 7:22
  Because if you do, can you call me? Yeah.
• 7:25
  But like, because life changes all the time too.
• 7:27
  So, like, how your house might have been organized at one point made sense when you lived in a one bedroom apartment, but now that you're in, like, a four bedroom house with a family, how that organization probably doesn't fit in that house, or just lifestyle change or and home office and just like all the things.
• 7:44
  So I just feel like, terrible that she feels that way, that she's such a shame around it.
• 7:50
  So anybody listening that also might feel the same way, like just.
• 7:53
  No, like, first of all, nobody has everything figured out at all.
• 7:57
  But to like, things change all the time.
• 8:00
  And then you have to figure out a new way, you know? Right.
• 8:02
  And we also live in a day and age where we're bombarded more so than we ever have been.
• 8:11
  I usually would hold up my cell phone and show it and say, here's our number one distractor.
• 8:16
  But that's sitting over on the other side of the room.
• 8:19
  But that being said, it really is we have so many things drawing our attention and, and asking us for a decision.
• 8:29
  Yeah.
• 8:29
  And people are experiencing decision fatigue.
• 8:34
  And sometimes they exert all of their energy in the outside world that when they come home they have no more energy left for their home.
• 8:44
  Because it's not just about the clutter, it's about the mental process that's coming in too. Yeah.
• 8:50
  And how they're processing it.
• 8:51
  That takes energy.
• 8:53
  And if you if you don't, if you think that it doesn't have a moment where you have had you are at your limits.
• 9:01
  Oh my gosh, for the day.
• 9:02
  And I feel that way about deciding what's for dinner.
• 9:06
  Like we've had this discussion.
• 9:08
  Yes, decision fatigue hits me when it's like, what's for dinner?
• 9:12
  And I'm like, I don't know.
• 9:14
  I've been designing stuff all day.
• 9:16
  I got everyone to school, everyone at work.
• 9:19
  Like all the things I helped, the clients, I did, the podcast, I did all this stuff.
• 9:22
  And I'm just like, if I have to decide what's for dinner, we're having cereal because I'm not doing it.
• 9:30
  But yeah, that's yeah, I totally can relate to decision fatigue for sure.
• 9:34
  I can relate to the cereal.
• 9:36
  Oh yeah.
• 9:36
  Because I so one of my executive functions that I know is not working is, the response to feed myself.
• 9:46
  Like unless I'm completely starving.
• 9:50
  Yeah. I forget to eat all the time.
• 9:53
  And when it's time for me to make a decision, that's where my decision fatigue pops up.
• 9:58
  Yeah. Really really bad.
• 10:00
  I can't think of anything I like.
• 10:02
  Thank God I have a husband who feeds me. Yeah.
• 10:04
  Feeds me.
• 10:05
  Well obviously, but he feeds me and I'm just like, thank you.
• 10:08
  He feeds you and he makes you, I know, best tailwind ever.
• 10:13
  Yeah. No, that's so funny.
• 10:15
  I also I'm same either I don't care like I, I'm also the least pickiest eater at my house too.
• 10:22
  So then I'll be like, how about XYZ?
• 10:24
  And then everyone's like x y, z, I need x, y and z.
• 10:28
  I'm like, then you guys decide I'm not doing this dance with you, right?
• 10:32
  Again, cereal.
• 10:35
  It's cereal.
• 10:36
  Here's the bowl, here's the milk, and here's the most like all the time.
• 10:40
  But it's just like some days have been longer than others, right?
• 10:43
  Some days are easy breezy.
• 10:45
  And I only made three decisions.
• 10:46
  And I'm happy to make a full dinner when I get home and plan it out myself.
• 10:50
  Then there's others days and I'm like, if you ask me to even like choose what's for dinner?
• 10:56
  Cereal.
• 10:59
  I'm coming over your house.
• 11:00
  We're having cereal. Cereal and wine will be just fine.
• 11:03
  It's like college all over again.
• 11:06
  Awesome.
• 11:08
  But I think part of the reason and correct me if I'm wrong, this is my own observation, is that you have dialed in more obviously, you'll help anybody with organize.
• 11:18
  Absolutely, but you've dialed in to the specific group because you have a really big background on like personality types and how people think and process.
• 11:28
  And so so I think it just made sense for you to lean this way too, because you just truly understand that everybody is built a little bit different.
• 11:35
  Yeah. Did that way into it. Yes. So, I formerly was formerly was a Enneagram coach, which was helping you understand yourself at a deeper level.
• 11:49
  It's another, personality behavior profile, like many that are out there.
• 11:54
  Yeah.
• 11:54
  But the reason I liked it so much is because it focused on why you do what you do, whereas other ones just kind of like, okay, I see myself in that this one kind of leads back into why am I actually like this?
• 12:10
  And I think what makes me so different from everyone else is I want people to be self-aware of their who they are.
• 12:23
  We live again in a world that's focus is on exterior, expectations and who they think you should be and what they think you should do.
• 12:37
  And we focus so much on other people's validation that we forget to think about our validating our own selves, our own feelings, and we forget who we are and I'll let you in on a little secret.
• 12:51
  I was that person.
• 12:52
  I forgot who I was, I forgot who I wanted to be.
• 12:56
  Yeah.
• 12:57
  And so in my own journey of self-awareness, I realized there were more women like me in this, same boat.
• 13:06
  And I wanted to help them, like, I know what this feels like, and it kind of feels like crap. Yeah.
• 13:13
  So being able to add that layer in along with the organizing, like, I want you to be confident in who you are and realize you don't have to do it all.
• 13:26
  Yeah.
• 13:26
  And stop letting the world tell you you do.
• 13:29
  Do what you can.
• 13:31
  Do it in the best way.
• 13:32
  That works for you.
• 13:34
  And you are success.
• 13:36
  Yeah, well, I think one thing about being self-aware is also asking yourself, like the real questions.
• 13:43
  And I like the other day you brought up, like, if you're not the main person cooking or using the kitchen, should the kitchen be organized to, you know, so like, you're not the one in here, why would you move the spatulas and things of your husband?
• 13:59
  Someone always cooking?
• 13:59
  That's not really fair to him, right?
• 14:02
  So also just being self-aware like this might drive you a little bonkers that this is here, but if that's what that person is, it's like, if you're not the cook in the family or whatever, then just let the kitchen be organized, right?
• 14:14
  That makes a little bit sense for them, right?
• 14:17
  Within reason. Right? Exactly. Yeah.
• 14:19
  Sometimes you find dishes in the most random spots.
• 14:22
  You're like, clearly somebody didn't know where this split, like, hey, yeah, I used to babysit for my best friend's older sister.
• 14:29
  Oh yeah.
• 14:31
  And I used to get paid extra by, by the dad, because whenever I'd come over and I'm now realizing as I'm older, she had severe postpartum.
• 14:42
  And she couldn't do anything like.
• 14:44
  Oh yeah. Bringing dishes downstairs.
• 14:47
  The laundry was up and down the staircase all over every piece of furniture, the floors everywhere.
• 14:54
  Yeah.
• 14:54
  And I would come over and I'm like well I put the baby down for a nap and I'm cleaning everything.
• 15:01
  I'm going up into that room, I'm pulling out all the dirty dishes and do the dishes first, and then I'd start doing the laundry and it's like, okay, well, there should have been my clue when I was 14, 15, 16.
• 15:13
  However, although I was babysitting, this is a calling.
• 15:17
  Yeah, this is something that I just do.
• 15:19
  Yeah.
• 15:21
  But that reminds me of that phrase too.
• 15:23
  Like I grew up in the era.
• 15:25
  Well, as you did, wherever you are, if you're cleaning, you could be cleaning, like, so, like in retail and stuff.
• 15:31
  Like, if you have time to clean, you have time to clean.
• 15:33
  It's kind of the same thing like I had.
• 15:35
  I had a boss literally say that to me at my very first job.
• 15:38
  Yeah, you have time to clean.
• 15:39
  You have time to clean. Yeah.
• 15:41
  But that has stuck with me my whole life.
• 15:41
  So I'm the same.
• 15:43
  Like I can't just sit still and do nothing.
• 15:45
  Yeah, but I also understand, like when I was coming home, one, I went into burnout.
• 15:51
  Not once, not twice, but three times because I didn't understand I was repeating the pattern because I didn't understand what burnout was. Sure.
• 16:00
  And but I was also noticing what was going on in my head was actually going on in my physical environment.
• 16:06
  It was a representation.
• 16:06
  So yeah, the, the, dining room table just became my drop zone.
• 16:15
  I drop my purse, I drop whatever was in my head, my hands, my arms, whatever.
• 16:20
  Yeah, I'd hang my coat on the chair like instead of where it goes.
• 16:25
  But that's all I could do.
• 16:26
  I'd go upstairs and if I could, if I could make it up the stairs, get up the stairs.
• 16:31
  But because I wasn't physically able but just mentally exhausted, change my clothes and drop them at the foot of the bed and, and that's where they would sit for the next week or so.
• 16:42
  Yeah. And they just let them pile up.
• 16:45
  And when it came time for laundry, my husband was doing that because I just, I couldn't even do that, and I couldn't put my clothes away, like, they sat in the basket until it was time to do the next load of laundry.
• 16:58
  Sure.
• 16:59
  So I can relate.
• 17:01
  When somebody has that moment in their life where life just became very overwhelming.
• 17:08
  So let's put in to place some simple things that even when life's overwhelming and it just feels like I can't do anything anymore.
• 17:17
  Yeah, here's the I want to say, no brainer way to organize your house, or to tidy it in a way that just makes you feel a little bit, better about yourself, how you're keeping up on your home and just, again, build your confidence instead of tearing it down.
• 17:38
  Yeah, for sure.
• 17:39
  Or a simple way that you could also easily delegate to like other family members like.
• 17:44
  So it's not a jigsaw puzzle of where things go and all that stuff, because then they get overwhelmed too.
• 17:50
  So finding that balance so that I like that you tie in the other people in the household to your consultations and like what you're doing and stuff.
• 17:59
  So I, I just, recently introduced a, a quiz that kind of tells you what is your organizing style.
• 18:08
  And again, it's not set in stone.
• 18:10
  You probably have more than one style in there, but it's going to tell you based upon how you answer the questions. Yeah.
• 18:16
  The one that you most likely, gravitate towards.
• 18:19
  Yeah.
• 18:20
  And so you either like things visual or you like things hidden.
• 18:25
  So in one of those two categories and then you're going to be in another category that's either you like things, detail organized or you like them simplified, which basically just means like, you know, a basket for all your first aid type things.
• 18:45
  It's not in any sort of order.
• 18:47
  It's just everything is in there.
• 18:48
  So you have to like, go through it to find what you know.
• 18:52
  Sure.
• 18:53
  So being able to identify which one of those you are then helps you understand how to create a space for you.
• 19:02
  And if you have two people who are in the opposites.
• 19:07
  So, like I have one that's called the organizer brain.
• 19:11
  So this is a person who likes things visual but they like things detailed.
• 19:16
  Yeah.
• 19:17
  Whereas if you have somebody who's on the opposite side of the scale who is what I call the rapid stasher, they like things hidden and they like them simplified.
• 19:29
  So, think of the rapid stasher as you remember, friends and the episode where Monica has the closet.
• 19:39
  Oh, yeah. Where she stashes everything.
• 19:41
  Yeah, that's.
• 19:42
  That can be considered a rapid stasher.
• 19:44
  She likes everything to be very pristine and perfect.
• 19:48
  And so in her case, she had one place she stash things.
• 19:54
  But sometimes Rapid stash will stash wherever there's a free space like you might find clothes in the dishwasher.
• 20:00
  Yeah, keys in the refrigerator because they don't want to see them.
• 20:06
  So if you have somebody who is visual and everything's getting hidden, for them, it's out of sight, out of mind.
• 20:14
  So now they have no idea where it is, where to look for it.
• 20:19
  Yeah.
• 20:19
  And so being able to find a balance for people who are on the opposite areas.
• 20:27
  Yeah.
• 20:28
  Is again, you got to ask the questions okay.
• 20:31
  Who uses this space.
• 20:33
  How often do they use it.
• 20:35
  What what do they need it for. And you know, how can we provide a good balance?
• 20:42
  Sure. For everyone.
• 20:44
  Yeah. What do you call a pilar?
• 20:46
  I love, Pilar.
• 20:47
  So I'll be like, can we clean like Rylan for example?
• 20:49
  She loves to read social books everywhere, and she has a bookshelf, and I'll be like, can we clean up these books?
• 20:55
  And she'll put them all together and pile them and put them somewhere and like, can you go put these on the bookshelf?
• 21:02
  And she's like, oh yeah, sure.
• 21:03
  But like otherwise, like when she cleans, she puts everything in a pile and I go somewhere and I'm like, piling is not cleaning.
• 21:11
  But then, you know, her brain might are very different than me, but to her, maybe a pile is clean because it's not everywhere.
• 21:17
  But to me, I'm like, all you did was just put it in a pile, like, go put it away.
• 21:22
  So that's a very great point.
• 21:24
  I've got a few things to say about that.
• 21:24
  Okay.
• 21:26
  One she's probably visual.
• 21:28
  So she likes to see her things.
• 21:31
  So that's one, I don't know whether they're somebody who likes things detailed or simplified.
• 21:37
  I'm going to guess, I'm going to guess maybe simplified just because they pile them into one pile.
• 21:43
  So the other thing, I like to tell people is I'm going to give the scenario of a little kid, and you tell your little kid to go in and clean their bedroom.
• 21:56
  This happened to me as a kid.
• 21:57
  Okay?
• 21:59
  I don't understand what cleaning my room means to you.
• 22:03
  For sure.
• 22:05
  So. And this is why, again, I specialize in ADHD is you have to be very specific.
• 22:11
  So if you want your kiddo to go clean their room, you have to do things like break it down into a task.
• 22:19
  Yeah.
• 22:19
  So you can even you can even give them a timer to kind of like, gamify it and make it fun.
• 22:24
  Okay. I'm going to give you five minutes.
• 22:24
  I want you to go into your room.
• 22:26
  I want you to pick up all the trash.
• 22:29
  That's it.
• 22:30
  That's all you're doing.
• 22:31
  They come up, they get that done. Great.
• 22:33
  If you still feel like they have good motivation and energy to keep going.
• 22:37
  Yeah. Okay, great.
• 22:38
  I want you to go in your room, and I want you to pick up all the dirty clothes and put them in the laundry basket.
• 22:45
  Right.
• 22:45
  And again just kind of keeping that momentum if they start to get tired though.
• 22:50
  Give them a moment to take a break.
• 22:52
  Give them, give them you know like read a book or play a game or grab a snack.
• 22:59
  Like sometimes it's, it's a matter of they're hungry or they need to rehydrate.
• 23:04
  But explain what you're asking them to do step by step instead of giving a broad category of go clean.
• 23:13
  Yeah.
• 23:14
  Because I don't know what that means to you.
• 23:17
  My version of clean can be totally different than your version.
• 23:22
  And based upon what you just said, your version of clean for your daughter, can you pick that up?
• 23:28
  Well, in her mind, she picked it up.
• 23:30
  She did what you asked.
• 23:31
  Yeah, but your your idea was to pick it up and put it on the bookshelf.
• 23:35
  Right.
• 23:36
  So being able to identify that and be more specific and what you're asking versus the generic term.
• 23:44
  Yeah. No, that's really great advice.
• 23:46
  And I think that goes for like anybody not just kids because like yeah I remember in college and I was first living with I was taught doing the dishes actually meant cleaning the kitchen.
• 23:59
  So like, if it was your night to do the dishes, you had to, like, wipe the counter, do all the things.
• 24:03
  And when I was living with Rylan's dad in college, his version of doing it, he was very literal.
• 24:09
  I used to call him literal Larry.
• 24:11
  Actually, I still call him that.
• 24:13
  You're welcome Philip.
• 24:14
  And, but but if I, if he be like, I'll do the dishes.
• 24:20
  And then I would go in there and like, there would still be, like, wrappers leftover from, like, whatever dinner was like, if we did salad from a bag or whatever, and then, like, there would be crumbs everywhere and the Synclavier stuff, and I'd be like, I thought you were doing the dishes.
• 24:34
  And he's like, I did do the dishes.
• 24:36
  I'm like, what is this?
• 24:37
  And then finally I realized, like, oh, he's hanging on to do the dishes.
• 24:42
  And so it totally was one of those things, you know, in your 20s, when you're in your 20s, you're like learning how to communicate and all this stuff, right? In love with other people.
• 24:50
  So I realized like, oh, I if I want you to clean the kitchen, I actually have to say, Will you do the dishes and wipe the counters and rent out the sink and sweep, clean the kitchen?
• 25:02
  And he'd be like, oh, sure.
• 25:04
  But I didn't like it.
• 25:05
  Took me a while to realize, like, I had to say it like that.
• 25:07
  Yeah. So.
• 25:08
  And you, you also have to be slightly mindful of that too.
• 25:12
  Totally. Because, if you are working with somebody who has ADHD and giving them a lot of instructions can be overwhelming.
• 25:24
  So like when I was talking again, going back to the kiddo scenario, because again this is they're in a learning mode right now and even older adults can have this challenge too.
• 25:37
  I know hearing auditory verbal instructions can be very overwhelming for me.
• 25:45
  So I need somebody to be specific.
• 25:47
  And I also most of the time need somebody to like break it down into a simplified task for me so that I can absorb it.
• 25:55
  But don't give me too many steps, because if you do, I, I lost the first five steps.
• 26:00
  By the time you get to number six.
• 26:03
  Yeah. So, I have a client that's coming up where we're going to be working with her ten year old son.
• 26:12
  And, he just got diagnosed and she's like, we give him lists and he, he constantly loses them.
• 26:21
  And I said okay well don't give him that, that.
• 26:23
  Well that, that's, that's part of the challenge because memory memory retention and memory and retention of things can be very hard.
• 26:35
  So, instead of giving it to him, designate a space where he always goes to that, you know.
• 26:42
  Yeah.
• 26:42
  And put that to do list like they're at his level and let him do the to do list because he wants to do it.
• 26:50
  Yeah.
• 26:50
  It's just it when you're handing it to him, there's so many other things that are coming out him that he's just trying to process. Sure.
• 26:58
  In the midst of things, put it somewhere more like his his morning routine, what he needs to do, put it somewhere where he's going to see it and he will actually check each thing off in the morning so he knows what he's supposed to do.
• 27:11
  We're going to set up a command center.
• 27:12
  So when it comes time to leave the house, he everybody knows where everything is.
• 27:18
  The backpack, any forms that should be signed.
• 27:21
  Yesterday's lunch got taken out so that today's lunch can be put in.
• 27:25
  Oh yeah.
• 27:26
  So all all of those little things. But, remembering when you're working with somebody who has either neurodivergent of some sort, brain trauma, ADHD, whatever the case may be, the fewer steps you can give them, the easier they're able to complete the task.
• 27:47
  Yeah.
• 27:48
  So if you have a bunch of boxes stacked on top of each other and they have to go into the box that's on the bottom, think about the fact that step one is they had to open the door, step two, they had to take the other boxes off.
• 28:04
  If they were able to take them off at the same time, or they had to do it one at a time. Yeah.
• 28:10
  Then they have to take that lid off.
• 28:12
  Then they have to put the item in.
• 28:14
  And do they have to make room for it to fit right.
• 28:18
  Then they got to put the lid back.
• 28:20
  Then they had to put everything back on top of it.
• 28:23
  Then they get to close the door.
• 28:25
  Yeah, that's too many steps for them.
• 28:28
  If you can, if you can make things simpler, like a box without the lid.
• 28:35
  It's two steps.
• 28:37
  Yeah. One step, three steps at the max.
• 28:40
  If you can possibly do that, that's going to make it so that things get done that you want to get done.
• 28:46
  Versus.
• 28:47
  Okay, I've just given you, go clean the kitchen right.
• 28:52
  Sorry, sorry.
• 28:54
  Do the dishes. That's what.
• 28:55
  Let's do the dishes. Yeah.
• 28:56
  And the kitchen doesn't get cleaned.
• 28:58
  Yeah. Then, you know, you you got somebody who did the literal step, but you had a bigger parameter.
• 29:05
  Yeah. And the.
• 29:06
  Well, back within that back to the self awareness thing, I also got to the point where I was like, even if he doesn't like the counter or sweep, I still didn't have to do the dishes.
• 29:17
  So if all I'm doing is wiping the counters, that's the easy job.
• 29:21
  So like I kind of also just started to accept it that way too.
• 29:24
  Like, yeah, I mean not it's the counters are bothering me.
• 29:28
  He could care less.
• 29:29
  He's fine.
• 29:30
  He's like, wait, dinner dishes are done, I'm relaxing and I'm like, there's stuff on the counter, we're gonna get racks or whatever, you know?
• 29:39
  I can't function until it's taken care.
• 29:41
  Yeah, yeah.
• 29:42
  But I did just come to terms with like, well, then wipe the counter and just chill, like, you know, and also trying to put out because, like, a communication style that we learned through that whole exact example is also like in his mind, like, well, why would I even bother doing the dishes?
• 29:57
  She's going to yell at me anyways, like, I did the dishes and she was pissed, you know?
• 30:02
  So I also was trying to be like mindful.
• 30:05
  And I do this a lot with Rylan.
• 30:06
  Like thank you for piling your books.
• 30:08
  Now do you mind taking them and putting them on the bookshelf?
• 30:11
  That helps instead.
• 30:12
  I mean, like I asked you to clean this, why didn't you move that pile?
• 30:15
  You know, because then it's like, well, why even bother if I'm going to get yelled at anyways?
• 30:20
  And and that is a real thing.
• 30:23
  And that's what will cause tension in relationships.
• 30:27
  Oh for sure. Any kind of relationship.
• 30:31
  I used to work for an organization that worked with a lot of entrepreneurs, and I had to work with leadership teams and, and teach them how to select leaders, how to be leaders.
• 30:44
  All of that sort of stuff.
• 30:45
  And whenever there was tension in in the room, in the space, it was always a communication.
• 30:55
  Oh, for sure, a communication style.
• 30:58
  And I will tell you, majority of the time they were all working towards the same goal.
• 31:05
  They were just communicating differently, and it was so different that the person couldn't adjust or here, what was actually being said. Yeah.
• 31:16
  And so I would come in and kind of like, okay, here's what I hear you're saying, here's what I hear you're saying, and have them come to an agreement.
• 31:26
  And I said, let's maybe think of it this way.
• 31:29
  Sure.
• 31:30
  And all of a sudden they're like, oh, okay.
• 31:32
  Yeah. That works.
• 31:34
  Yeah. And so again, it.
• 31:39
  Clean your room means nothing to me because sure.
• 31:42
  I don't know what clean. Yeah.
• 31:44
  Your room means to you. Yeah.
• 31:47
  And also like just learning like I don't actually care about Rylan's room.
• 31:51
  Looks like I'm upstairs because it's her space.
• 31:53
  So I'm like, you know, your girlfriend and I don't want her to not want to play in our room because she's worried about making it messy or whatever.
• 31:59
  The only time we have that clean the room conversations as of, like, companies coming over here.
• 32:03
  And I don't want someone falling in her room and, like, putting themselves on a million Barbies or whatever.
• 32:08
  So that's when we have those conversations.
• 32:10
  Or I'm trying to put away laundry.
• 32:12
  She puts away laundry and how I put away laundry.
• 32:15
  Not the same.
• 32:16
  So I'm like, you know what?
• 32:18
  When you can start putting away your own laundry, you can organize this dresser however you want.
• 32:23
  But if you want mommy to keep doing your laundry, need the dresser to look like this, or I can't put stuff away.
• 32:28
  So is that fair?
• 32:29
  And she's like, okay, oh yeah, I think it's just pick or choose like your battles to like, let some of your family have their own space.
• 32:37
  Well, and even maybe adopting laundry styles.
• 32:43
  Oh. So, for some people who are visual, There's also the task of being able to put something on a hanger versus putting something on a hook.
• 33:00
  So, a hanger, you have to take the hanger off.
• 33:05
  You have to put the clothing on it.
• 33:09
  And then you have to hang it back up.
• 33:11
  Let's not even count the fact that I'm probably certain somewhere in your brain you're going, are they all facing the right direction.
• 33:18
  Oh yeah. Sure.
• 33:19
  Yeah.
• 33:20
  I'm like why they have to be filed in the same direction?
• 33:25
  Yeah.
• 33:25
  We're versus a hook.
• 33:27
  Is you know what it's picked up.
• 33:30
  It's clean.
• 33:32
  It's just on a hook.
• 33:34
  You're still achieving the same result but one's working better for how that person's thinks.
• 33:41
  Yeah.
• 33:41
  Versus what works for you.
• 33:44
  Totally.
• 33:44
  I feel like I'm in like in the middle.
• 33:47
  Like as we've been talking I'm like trying to picture my own organization skills or like how one side or the other am I feel like I'm really down the middle.
• 33:56
  So like, for example, the closet.
• 33:58
  I do like all my hangers going one way, just because that makes efficiency right?
• 34:01
  If you don't know how to grab the hanger, that's crazy.
• 34:05
  I don't need my clothes color coordinated, but I do put like work shirts by each other and like winery shirts with each other, which are all my shirts that say fun things like clerks are for quitters and things like that.
• 34:17
  But I like to wear when I go to wineries.
• 34:20
  But yeah, but like, I don't they're not like organized in any way except for like here's basic category.
• 34:25
  Yeah.
• 34:26
  The category is as in what they're used for or like not to agents but like DVD collections, right?
• 34:31
  Like I was never a person that had them alphabetical, but they would be like romance or comedy and scary like so.
• 34:40
  Yeah. Categories.
• 34:40
  I'm a category girl.
• 34:41
  So that's how your brain processes things.
• 34:45
  So again, when you took can I share yours.
• 34:50
  Oh yeah. Go for it. Okay.
• 34:51
  So when you took what's your organizing style.
• 34:53
  You got see it all. Yeah.
• 34:55
  So that is visual and it's simplified.
• 34:58
  So you don't want things detailed. Yeah.
• 35:00
  It doesn't mean you don't like things categorized or things to look nice in.
• 35:06
  Neat.
• 35:07
  It's just you want it done.
• 35:10
  Yeah. Like quick.
• 35:11
  But you still want to be able to see it in order to reference it.
• 35:15
  So yeah, if they are things that are important to you, they need to be visually there for you to see, otherwise you probably will forget them.
• 35:26
  Whereas for me, I like things detailed.
• 35:30
  I'm the organizer brain and I like them visual, but I like them esthetically pleasing.
• 35:35
  Yes, all my DVDs are alphabetized and general, not by category.
• 35:42
  There's only one category that is different from all the rest, and it's the Disney films.
• 35:48
  Okay.
• 35:48
  Other than that, everything is alphabetized because I would lose my cookies if I wanted to go find a movie that I wanted to watch, and I had to spend 20 minutes or more finding it.
• 36:03
  I think my organization's like a blockbuster where, like, again, we're enjoying ourselves.
• 36:09
  But like, movies at the movie stores were by category.
• 36:14
  So I was like, well, I know I'm in the mood for a scary movie.
• 36:17
  So then I would go look in the scary movie section or whatever and take it a step further.
• 36:21
  Categories and alphabetized.
• 36:23
  I don't have time for that.
• 36:25
  Yeah.
• 36:26
  You want you want to know a little known, secret about me?
• 36:29
  Sure.
• 36:31
  Speaking of blockbuster, I worked for a music store.
• 36:34
  Oh, you did blockbuster music.
• 36:37
  So you're organizing all the, like, CDs and everything categorized and alphabetized?
• 36:42
  Oh, for sure.
• 36:43
  And we all chose our genres.
• 36:45
  The managers, a manager.
• 36:47
  We all chose our genres.
• 36:48
  Mine was imports. Those were my babies.
• 36:52
  I was very protective of them.
• 36:54
  But. So, but yes, I, I have I like that detail because I want to.
• 37:04
  Because I get frustrated easy.
• 37:06
  Yeah. When it comes to my things.
• 37:09
  I need to have them in some form of detail.
• 37:14
  That's what works for me. Yeah.
• 37:15
  For my husband he likes things just simplified like just it goes there.
• 37:20
  Yeah. Okay. Great.
• 37:21
  See if, if, if it's too detailed for me that's when I overthink it.
• 37:24
  So like again back to the DVD reference.
• 37:27
  If it was categorized I'm like well if it's a big town, is it under a or is it under a big town.
• 37:35
  Because like a million movies start with a that's like a want to remember what.
• 37:40
  You know what I mean.
• 37:41
  So it's like, are those what these are those like where do you start or like all the does, are they all in those?
• 37:48
  And then I and then I'm like a b c d. Yeah.
• 37:50
  I'd rather just be like, I just want to laugh.
• 37:53
  Where are the comedies?
• 37:54
  Oh decent or perfect? Here we go.
• 37:57
  You know, that's so funny.
• 37:59
  But, you know, think of that when you're you're asking your daughter to pick her books. Yeah. Like for her.
• 38:07
  This is how she organizes by putting up into piles.
• 38:11
  Yeah.
• 38:11
  So now there's another step for her to do that.
• 38:15
  You would like her to do that she's not thinking of.
• 38:18
  Yeah. So laying out the different steps.
• 38:21
  Yeah.
• 38:22
  It's not that she doesn't want to do that.
• 38:24
  Oh yeah.
• 38:25
  For sure of she's not sure of what the expectations are.
• 38:29
  And if you haven't laid out the expectations try not to punish because.
• 38:35
  Oh for sure that's. Yeah.
• 38:37
  That's where the person can then become resentful and not want to do it at all.
• 38:41
  Yeah.
• 38:41
  Well, now, as I was saying, like over the years, just learning my own like self-awareness.
• 38:46
  That's why I'm not like, I told you to pick up these books, but I'm just like, oh, well, she literally picked up the books.
• 38:53
  So she gets that gene for my dad a little bit.
• 38:56
  And I'm like, I love that you picked up the books and they're in a pile.
• 39:00
  Can you not go put them on the bookshelf?
• 39:02
  And you're like, oh yeah, I didn't know you want me to do that.
• 39:04
  Like she'll actually say that. Yeah, because you're right.
• 39:07
  Like she does want to, like, do the right thing or organize it the right way or whatever she wants to.
• 39:12
  She wants to please mom.
• 39:14
  Yeah, but she doesn't always know what mom's expectation is.
• 39:17
  Yeah, you have what it is.
• 39:19
  You have the steps.
• 39:20
  Yeah. She doesn't have the steps. Yeah.
• 39:22
  How much do you think?
• 39:24
  Since we're on this topic, parents should influence how kids put stuff away or pick stuff up?
• 39:33
  That's a tough question.
• 39:36
  And, probably get a little hate on it, but, you know.
• 39:42
  Showing them how you do it is one thing.
• 39:44
  Another thing is how are they actually able to do it?
• 39:51
  So again, I'm going to keep going back to the ADHD.
• 39:54
  If you have ADHD child, you're going to have challenges expecting them to make things your specific way.
• 40:04
  If they think differently from you.
• 40:06
  And so it's almost as though you're setting them up for failure versus success.
• 40:14
  So finding ways, you know, like if they have trouble matching socks to put them away, oh get them a bin and just like get all the same color socks and or white goes on this side.
• 40:30
  Black ones go on the side. Yeah. Or whatever.
• 40:32
  That's it.
• 40:32
  Don't worry about matching them.
• 40:34
  And when one wears out, throw it out and matched up with well.
• 40:37
  And now it's cool to wear two different socks anyways.
• 40:40
  Like that's the current trend.
• 40:40
  I don't know if you know that.
• 40:42
  I do know very trendy.
• 40:42
  Do your kids do that?
• 40:44
  Yeah.
• 40:44
  See it's a trend right now to like not wear matching socks at all.
• 40:48
  So maybe that came from somebody who has ADHD who hated pairing this up.
• 40:52
  Yeah.
• 40:52
  And then someone's like, wait, we don't have to match socks genius.
• 40:56
  And all the containers.
• 40:58
  Yeah.
• 40:59
  But like, if things don't wrinkle, like, or they're just, they're wrinkle free material, like, just throw it in, let them throw it into a bin.
• 41:09
  If, that's how they process things.
• 41:13
  Again, walk through them with your steps and how you do things and observe what they're doing.
• 41:21
  And if they struggle keeping that up, that might be where they need a different system.
• 41:27
  That works more with how they think versus an expectation of how you expect it to be done.
• 41:34
  Yeah.
• 41:36
  You reference the quiz that people can take online.
• 41:40
  That's a totally free quiz just to give you information.
• 41:43
  And I like she said. I took it last week.
• 41:46
  It was super simple.
• 41:47
  It took me like five minutes maybe, and just answer it truthfully and honestly.
• 41:52
  A lot of times when people take those tests, you've said this before to like you answer how you think you're supposed to answer, or how you hope your result will come out like you, me, and I'm going to be rich and famous, right?
• 42:01
  And you're answering to me, that person or whatever.
• 42:04
  But like, just be honest.
• 42:06
  Like, how do you organize stuff?
• 42:08
  And some of the questions are like, do you prefer stuff like organized by alphabet, or do you just not care as long as you don't see it?
• 42:17
  Like it's a pretty simple questions. Yeah.
• 42:20
  And then if someone wanted to hire you for your services, or have you come in while you talk a little bit about how they can get in touch with you or the different, like, kind of packages or consultations you do?
• 42:31
  Yeah.
• 42:32
  So basically, I, you can go to my website, there's a work with me function, you go to either my services page or click on one of the buttons that say work with me.
• 42:43
  It will go directly to a calendar that you can book a, complimentary 30 minute session to kind of talk about what it is you're looking for.
• 42:52
  Yeah.
• 42:53
  And then from there, if you decide you want to move forward and we're a good match, I work in three hour chunks.
• 43:02
  Usually a 9 to 12 or a 1 to 4.
• 43:06
  And it's because, again, working with people who have decision fatigue.
• 43:12
  Sure.
• 43:12
  It takes a lot out of you, more than you think.
• 43:15
  You'll get through that three hours and you're like, I am totally wiped out.
• 43:19
  Yeah. So, I do, in three hour chunks.
• 43:23
  I can do a whole day with like a half hour break in between.
• 43:26
  So it might mean we finish more at 330 versus four.
• 43:30
  But it just depends on what it is you're looking for.
• 43:33
  Yeah. Do you do consultations via zoom?
• 43:36
  Like, maybe because a lot of our listeners aren't an organ.
• 43:39
  Yeah.
• 43:40
  Just like if someone just wants to pick your brain or, like, have you help them that way too.
• 43:45
  Yeah.
• 43:45
  So consultations are usually be a zoom.
• 43:49
  If you can I ask one of two things.
• 43:52
  Either you are on a device where you can walk me around your space and kind of show it to me, a specific room that you're having challenges with so I can help with that.
• 44:02
  Or if you can send me pictures.
• 44:04
  I had one client. She sent me a video.
• 44:06
  Yeah, like, just take a video of the space that she wanted to help with.
• 44:10
  And that's just a quick consultation.
• 44:13
  If you're wanting to do more of a virtual organizing, I can do that.
• 44:18
  And I usually try to break it up into three one hour sessions.
• 44:22
  So I can kind of give you a little task to do.
• 44:25
  And then maybe in a week or two weeks, depending on your schedule.
• 44:28
  Yeah.
• 44:29
  We can meet up again so that we can, you know, see what the progress was.
• 44:34
  Because again, you're doing it on your own versus me standing there helping you with that decision process, asking the questions that you're going to bump into, you're basically helping people just also develop a plan because, like, I don't know about everybody listening.
• 44:51
  But the idea of, like, reorganizing or organizing sounds very overwhelming.
• 44:56
  And it's a huge undertaking.
• 44:57
  And then if you have to figure it out yourself, that's when everything just goes in that Monica's closet, you know, on friends.
• 45:03
  Or it's just like, I don't have time or the desire.
• 45:06
  Right?
• 45:06
  But if someone was like, hey, you mentioned blah blah blah about yourself, so it would actually make sense of your bookshelf look this way, it'd probably bring you a little bit more peace.
• 45:17
  Yeah.
• 45:17
  That's what like your specialty is, is like helping them visualize and utilize the space that makes sense for them.
• 45:25
  Right?
• 45:25
  I also think people hesitate to reach out to home organizers and stuff because they're like, well, my house isn't perfect and they're embarrassed.
• 45:32
  And like they also think like, it'll have to look Pinterest, see when you're done.
• 45:36
  And you're like, no, that's not the point.
• 45:38
  The point is not to have a Pinterest house is to have a functional house for you that brings you peace.
• 45:43
  So you're not walking into your home at the end of the day, tired from making decisions and all this stuff, and then like, shit's everywhere.
• 45:50
  You're just like all the piles.
• 45:52
  Your home is supposed to be your sanctuary. Yes.
• 45:55
  Where you can escape for refuge.
• 45:59
  Not a place that you have to come home and you're like even more exhausted because you're thinking about all the different things that totally care of, but you're like, I just can't, I'm spent, I'm down.
• 46:10
  Yeah, yeah.
• 46:11
  And so I want to make it so that it works for you versus against you.
• 46:18
  But that also takes that takes self-awareness on your part too.
• 46:24
  And by cleaning things up before I get there or before you show me, I understand the, the feeling of, shame or embarrassment or guilt that comes along with not being able to take care of something.
• 46:42
  I know I've been there. Yeah.
• 46:44
  But it doesn't help me in understanding how I can make it better for you.
• 46:50
  So I help you, guide you through what's going to be the easiest for you so this doesn't pop up again.
• 46:58
  And so by being able to show me the true you what what's happening and how you truly use that space.
• 47:05
  Yeah.
• 47:06
  That then helps me help you find the routine that's actually going to work for you.
• 47:12
  Yeah absolutely.
• 47:13
  We will definitely put all of Kristy's information on the podcast and on YouTube.
• 47:19
  Thank you so much for being here and for sharing the wine and happy wine.
• 47:24
  Thank you for listening and watching and I can't wait to see you next week.
• 47:28
  Cheers. Cheers.