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10 Things I Hate About Lala · Untraditionally Lala

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous, It's Lala Kent. Welcome to Untraditionally Laala. Hey, guys,
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: it is Lalakent. Welcome to Untraditionally Laala. Today we're doing
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: something very untraditional and having my haters on the podcast.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: And I just have to put it out there that
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: I posted on Instagram that I was calling all haters
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: for a face off. I was very underwhelmed because a
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: lot of you are really fucking loud in the comments section,
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: but when it comes to wanting to talk to me
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: face to face, y'all run scared. It was. I mean,
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: I'm actually very excited because we picked three three haters
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: who had beef with Lalla and they're ready for a
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: face off. And by the way, they may not like me,
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: but I got mad respect for them because I truly
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: I thought we were going to have an overwhelming amount
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: of haters that we're ready to go toes. But that's
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: why they call you trolls, because you stay in the holes.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Let's have our first hater. Cameron.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: Hello, Hi, how.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Are you how I'm doing excellent.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: I'm very excited about this.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, me too. Tell me your name Cameron, Cameron, and
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: where are you from? Denver, Denver, Colorado. Okay, I'm from Utah,
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: so yeah, like we're like right there. All right, So
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: you saw on Instagram that I was calling all haters
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: and you're going to be shocked by this, but I
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: didn't get very many. Really yeah, so I'm like, I
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: know that they're out there, but I don't know that
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: they're willing to face me. So right off the bat,
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: I want to say that let's put some respect on
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: your name, because you fucking showed up.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: I'm into it.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: Let's just deep dive what about me makes you not
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: dig it?
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: Well? I used to be a huge fan, Okay, a
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: huge fan, like I listened to the Pods weekly, like
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: I was huge fan.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: Your last season of vanderpumb.
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: Rules like just lost me, like lost me the energy
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: that you had, like at the Scandabal reunion, like going
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: after Sandoval and Raquel, Like I feel like it just
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: flipped during the last season, and you know, given I
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: know you were going through a lot, I just felt
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: like it was like not you and maybe you know,
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: maybe it wasn't your thing, but like I just felt
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: like you weren't a girl's girl. You were being hypocritical,
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: and I just I feel like you just bet on
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: the wrong horse and you lost a lot of fans.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: You know, I definitely you're absolutely right.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: And I think if I could go back and pinpoint
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: my emotions and convey them the right way. I was
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: feeling a lot that like I didn't necessarily they were
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: feelings I hadn't felt before, right, And it was a
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: huge turn from like season ten going into season eleven,
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: and I think season ten I would have been labeled
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: very differently had I not been right.
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So like that entire season, I was actually being
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: called like a scorned woman. I was angry, and then
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: I just happened to be right, so everybody put me
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: on a pedestal. Cut to we're going into season eleven.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: My adrenaline has now faded. I'm very vulnerable, I'm emotional.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: I'm sinking into the fact that like I have to
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: share my child and that's just it is what it is.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: The fight is gone. I wish I could have gone
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: about it differently. I have a lot of regrets. I
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: have a lot of shame, But I don't think you're
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: alone and feeling that way about me.
• 3:40
  Speaker 5: Like your whole thing was like I don't want you
• 3:41
  Speaker 5: in my circle if you're communicating with Randall and like
• 3:44
  Speaker 5: I obviously there's a kit of ball, so it is
• 3:46
  Speaker 5: a little bit different. But like that, like cutthroat energy,
• 3:49
  Speaker 5: I feel like it should have been the same for.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: All the other girls.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: It should have been I should have been able to
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: take a step back and say, like, not everyone's healing
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: pross or situation is the same as mine, and whatever
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: you need in this moment, I need to have your
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: back and I didn't do that, however, getting the heat
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: that I.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: Got on season eleven.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: If I could go back, I don't know that I
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: would have given the two people who were responsible for
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: scan of all that much heat because it's intense.
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: Really yeah, hmm interesting, I like that.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: Well we all did what a moment to be alive, right, No,
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: I did learn a lot And also like, I appreciate
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: you getting on here and being honest with me because
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: I know that you're not the only one. I feel
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: like I had a lot of people who really fucked
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: hard with me, and after that it was like, you
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: don't know what you stand for, and to be honest,
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: I didn't in that moment.
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and Sena like you like Shina like I hate
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: Shana and you.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: You and like you.
• 4:55
  Speaker 5: Being for the Shina like I just was like no, like, no,
• 4:58
  Speaker 5: You're better than that.
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: I know you don't like me, but I'm really digging you.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: I love someone who can like come on here and
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: face me and be like, this is why I don't
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: fuck with you. You lost me and you picked the wrong horse,
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: and I do I want to.
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: Like you, but just the last season, we haven't seen
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: anything since then. I mean then it's like I just.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you fucking nailed it with me. I
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: was a lost little soul.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: I went into hiding.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: I was just like wanting to be a mom and
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: fall off the face of the earth. But hopefully I can.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: I can regain your likeness too, I hope.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: So on the Valley this season.
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: I'm hopeful.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: I'm hopeful too. I really appreciate you.
• 5:42
  Speaker 5: Like fat, that like bulldog energy, like.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: Sensitive.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: Now I've never in my life given one damn about
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: the comments section, and now I feel like any situation
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: I go into, I have an out of body experience,
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: like what will everyone think we're You've watched vander Pump.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: I never cared what people thought. I know, I know,
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: all right, you've inspired me. I need that back, all right,
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: betch you got it?
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: Am I gonna give them Lala again? What the fuck
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: is happening?
• 6:14
  Speaker 4: Yes?
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: And maybe you should do day James too. Oh no,
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: now you lost me. She wants a real throwback, Lallah,
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: doesn't she. I had a heyday with you.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: I hope I can regain your likeness and I appreciate
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: the ovaries that you have coming onto this podcast.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: Well, yes, we'll see.
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: Nice to meet too, and I hope I hope.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: For some of that O g Lala all right because
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: you told me so, I'm gonna do it.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: You got it. Thank you, Cam, have the best day.
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: You too, Bye bye bye, Well, hello, gorgeous? Well Hello,
• 7:02
  Speaker 4: Oh we brought the hoops out.
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: I love it for you anything and the purple?
• 7:08
  Speaker 6: Are you kidding me?
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: I love it?
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: Okay, So I have to tell you I put out
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: that thing on Instagram which was like calling all haters,
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: and I got like very little. So that either means
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: I have no haters, which we all know that ain't
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: true because I see him in the comments section.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: Little fucking trols.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: Not that you're a troll, but here you are. You've
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: got the ovaries to face me.
• 7:28
  Speaker 6: I'm not a comment section control.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: There we go, see you're well, here we go.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: I love it, So what about me? Do you not dig?
• 7:38
  Speaker 6: So it was mostly I like, I already feel like
• 7:40
  Speaker 6: the growth has come, like you've you've shown.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: It, and I'm happy about it.
• 7:43
  Speaker 6: My beef comes from season eleven with the whole Katie situation. Okay,
• 7:47
  Speaker 6: that broke my heart because I lived for you and
• 7:51
  Speaker 6: Katie's friendship.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: I thought it was so real.
• 7:53
  Speaker 6: You guys were, as you said, truth tellers and you are.
• 7:56
  Speaker 6: And my favorite thing about you was season ten you
• 7:58
  Speaker 6: said sticks and stones, baby, sticks and stones, But I
• 8:01
  Speaker 6: don't go fuck your man. You don't do crazy shit.
• 8:04
  Speaker 6: You might say some crazy shit, but you don't do
• 8:06
  Speaker 6: it right. And I think that was where the beef
• 8:08
  Speaker 6: came from, because I feel like season eleven reunion, you
• 8:12
  Speaker 6: kind of came after Katie in that like Instagram kind
• 8:15
  Speaker 6: of DM feed feud of no one really knows the
• 8:18
  Speaker 6: real what was said. I was like, you guys are
• 8:21
  Speaker 6: really friends, why are you hitting her with the Scotcha moment?
• 8:23
  Speaker 6: Like you guys had actual conversations off camera, like you know,
• 8:28
  Speaker 6: beyond cast. I felt like you guys were real and
• 8:30
  Speaker 6: I was like, Lala, why are you going after Katie?
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: Like what is this?
• 8:33
  Speaker 6: Yeah, but you think it kind of breaks the fourth wall,
• 8:36
  Speaker 6: you being like I wasn't the only one frustrated with Ariana.
• 8:39
  Speaker 6: I wasn't the only one frustrated with how all of
• 8:42
  Speaker 6: this was playing out. And I want to show that
• 8:44
  Speaker 6: everybody else was frustrated too, right, But you stand so
• 8:47
  Speaker 6: strong on your own that I was like, Lalla, come
• 8:50
  Speaker 6: on girl, right.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: I think I lost a lot of people on season
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: eleven and season ten. You have to remember, like, had
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: I not been right about Raquel and Tom, I would
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: have looked like a bitter woman, right, Like I just
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: got lucky, truly.
• 9:06
  Speaker 6: I think you sniffed that shit a mile away, though, oh.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: I sniff it out all the time, right, And I
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: think it bothers people because cut to where we are now,
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: and people will be like, La, La says the same thing,
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: So and so's a narcissist. And I always say, put
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: a different type of person in front of me and
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: I'll have a different response. Season eleven, I was so
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: beaten down in my own life where I had to
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: come to terms with my reality. Where season ten I
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: was in it. I had adrenaline. I was ready to
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: fucking fight the fight. Season eleven was like, oh shit,
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: this is my reality and how do I come to
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: terms with this? So truth be told, I shouldn't have
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: gone back to season eleven. I should have focused on
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: my on my mental health and really coming to terms
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: with what my life was going to be like for
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: the long haul and with Katie.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: I still to this and it took me.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: It took me a while to get over it because
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: I had anger, but then I had shame and sadness,
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: and I had to work with my sponsor to pinpoint
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: all of these emotions and then say what did I do?
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: How do I clean my side of the street. But
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: I felt I felt abandoned by her, And that's my perspective,
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: that's my feeling.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: That is not a fact. That's just me saying that.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: I felt very isolated and like I was the only
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: one kind of saying things behind the scenes, but also
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: to the face. And so when I would get into
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: a group of people and everyone fell silent, I felt
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: so vulnerable and exposed and it just every nothing landed
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: Season eleven. I still am trying to recover from it
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: because it fucked me up. And I'm trying to get
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: my confidence back from season eleven. I've never cared what
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: people say about me. That was the first time where
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I'm having an out
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: of body experience.
• 11:03
  Speaker 6: But like I will say, it's like, I dug it,
• 11:06
  Speaker 6: I understood your POV. That's why, like, with all the
• 11:09
  Speaker 6: shit that you've gone through in the past, I was
• 11:11
  Speaker 6: annoyed to watching season eleven. I was saying, you know,
• 11:14
  Speaker 6: Laala went through a lot of shit and was kind
• 11:16
  Speaker 6: of belittled by it by a lot of people on
• 11:19
  Speaker 6: that show. And then you know, Roles reversed. She's in
• 11:22
  Speaker 6: a situation that you're like, hey, this is a little
• 11:24
  Speaker 6: whacked up, like let's fix it for yourself, and everybody's
• 11:27
  Speaker 6: like lever be, lever be, and you're like, but I
• 11:30
  Speaker 6: see it. And then her coming in and being like,
• 11:33
  Speaker 6: it's not about you, it's not about your situation. I
• 11:35
  Speaker 6: was like, damn, Katie, Like she's just trying to relate,
• 11:39
  Speaker 6: and I think I get that. I think me and
• 11:40
  Speaker 6: you are I'm similar to you where I like to
• 11:42
  Speaker 6: relate to people, but I get you saying this. Now
• 11:46
  Speaker 6: I understand the abandonment because it's like you, it's the
• 11:50
  Speaker 6: truth Tellers. You were like, you're my girl.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: You do this with me.
• 11:54
  Speaker 6: I can't do it alone right now? Yeah, And that
• 11:56
  Speaker 6: feels like where you were coming from. And you know
• 11:58
  Speaker 6: it kind of for me, the beef stem from like
• 12:00
  Speaker 6: she forgave if she was sitting and talking to Sandibal,
• 12:03
  Speaker 6: why yeah, that garbage back? I know, no, but I mean,
• 12:08
  Speaker 6: you know, tell me if I could say this or not.
• 12:10
  Speaker 6: I think it kind of broke the fourth wall of
• 12:11
  Speaker 6: you being like I need to secure my place here
• 12:15
  Speaker 6: and I want the show to continue. I don't know
• 12:17
  Speaker 6: if that's still like how you felt, but like maybe
• 12:20
  Speaker 6: you kind of leaned into that so like it worked
• 12:23
  Speaker 6: a little better.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: Was that?
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: Maybe it?
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: So everyone was like, it's not Ariana's job to put
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: food on your table. And I think what I was trying,
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: what I was trying to say, is that show vander
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: Pump Rules. Everything beyond it is because we're on vander
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: Pump Rules. So it had nothing to do with like
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: we need I need this show to pay my bills.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: It was like everything, Can we for a moment not
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: act like we're too good for this stage because this
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: is what started it all. Can we like not forget
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: where we've come from from. We can definitely grow beyond it,
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: but let's not shit on it.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: I felt that, I felt that hardcore.
• 13:06
  Speaker 6: I felt like a lot of people were coming back
• 13:08
  Speaker 6: to just be like I don't need this, or I
• 13:10
  Speaker 6: don't want this, or my life's better off now, and
• 13:13
  Speaker 6: it's like, let's take a moment and remember where we
• 13:15
  Speaker 6: came from and how we got to this better.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: Life, right, And I wish that I could have conveyed
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: myself a little bit better, but I was so I
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: was so lost in my own emotions. I didn't I
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: was feeling things I had never felt before, and so
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: how I didn't know what to do with them. I
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: felt like a toddler who was feeling emotion for the
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: first time, and then you just see them throwing a
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: tantrum because they don't know.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: How to deal with it. That's how I felt.
• 13:42
  Speaker 6: I love that you recognize that, I really really do.
• 13:44
  Speaker 6: It makes you such like a well rounded individual, and
• 13:46
  Speaker 6: I get that. I do think that, Like in that season,
• 13:49
  Speaker 6: you admit it, and it was one of my favorite
• 13:51
  Speaker 6: interviews where you go, I have to practice forgiveness, and
• 13:54
  Speaker 6: I think it was that I think you had your
• 13:57
  Speaker 6: boxed up in of like I'm in Fitte modes and
• 14:01
  Speaker 6: like you just said it, it came all out and
• 14:03
  Speaker 6: I see that. I see that, and that's why I
• 14:05
  Speaker 6: think it broke my heart where I like had the
• 14:06
  Speaker 6: beef of like no, this doesn't seem like her, Like
• 14:09
  Speaker 6: I was screaming at the TV.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: Like this is my girl.
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: I think that was the first season I didn't feel
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: like myself, even in all the seasons where I was drinking,
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: Season eleven was the one time that I felt like
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: a very wounded bird.
• 14:23
  Speaker 6: Oh now I get it, and that strength didn't come
• 14:25
  Speaker 6: through I see it. I get it now, and like,
• 14:28
  Speaker 6: you know, I get it.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: I do.
• 14:30
  Speaker 6: And I hope you and Katie you can like get
• 14:31
  Speaker 6: back to a place of peace. You know, it depends
• 14:35
  Speaker 6: on whoever wants to have that relationship again. And yeah,
• 14:38
  Speaker 6: I just see you becoming a more peaceful person. And
• 14:41
  Speaker 6: like that's why I was like, I want to say
• 14:42
  Speaker 6: my beef to her.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: I gotta let her know.
• 14:44
  Speaker 6: I want to hear her side.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: And I'm so happy that you did. I like, I
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: have so much respect for you for coming on here.
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: You know. The trolls are loud in the comments section I.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: Was like, we're going to be flooded with with dms
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: and emails.
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: I was like, rickets, I'm like, I know they're out there.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: So I really appreciate you.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: I hope you have the best day, and thank you
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: so much for coming on my podcast.
• 15:08
  Speaker 6: Thank you, Lala. You are an angel and I am
• 15:10
  Speaker 6: so honored and blessed to be here. Many loves and
• 15:13
  Speaker 6: kisses to you.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: Thank you you too, babe. Have the best day. Bye.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: Hi Mollie, Hello Ala, Hi Gorge. How are we right good?
• 15:33
  Speaker 7: I had a take in a car. I'm actually a
• 15:35
  Speaker 7: first time mom. I'm very excited to talk to you.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: Is the baby in the car?
• 15:39
  Speaker 7: No, she's been side with her dad.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: Oh, how amazing. Congratulations, thank you.
• 15:45
  Speaker 7: I just didn't want to wake her. She was asleep,
• 15:46
  Speaker 7: so I was like, oh, speak in the car.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: Oh, I love it. Okay.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: So you wrote in that you have a beef with
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: me or you don't like me, and I would love
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: to know why.
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 15:57
  Speaker 7: So I mean personally I do like you, okay, am
• 15:59
  Speaker 7: I my My beef with you would be like seeing
• 16:05
  Speaker 7: how a lot of your friendships unfold, So specifically, I
• 16:11
  Speaker 7: think as a big podcast fan, actually would be with
• 16:15
  Speaker 7: Jess Walters.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: I know that there's not like yeah yeah, yeah yeah,
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: my old assistant.
• 16:21
  Speaker 7: I know there's not like a lot out there about
• 16:23
  Speaker 7: what happened. But as a mom, as a small business
• 16:28
  Speaker 7: owner who works with her friends as well, I just
• 16:33
  Speaker 7: feel like, when you have that close of our relationship
• 16:35
  Speaker 7: with someone, it sucks to see that you couldn't have
• 16:39
  Speaker 7: pushed forward to make that work continuously, whether on the
• 16:43
  Speaker 7: professional side or friendship side.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: You know, I want to maintain her privacy, but it
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: was her.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: It was her decision to leave.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: There were things that she wanted in the moment that
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: for me, I couldn't give her right there, and at
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: some you know, I love and adore her and I
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: miss her so much. I literally texted her the other
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: day saying like, I hope you know that I love
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: you so much and I am so grateful for her.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: It gets so sticky when you bring when you have
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: such a closeness, but then you're also responsible for paying
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: that paying that person, and they're on your payroll. And
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: I wanted to give her the sun, the moon, and
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: the stars, but I also have to make sure that
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: like in the process of doing that, that the timing
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: is right, because I also have a family that I
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: have to, you know, make sure that they have food
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: on the table, and I wish it could have ended differently.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: Timing is everything, but I still to this day like
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: she'll pop up on my phone and my heart just
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: feels so sad. And there are moments, babe, where I
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: look back on friendships and I do have to say,
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: you know, you are the problem in that, and then
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: there's nothing I can do about the timing was off,
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: my reaction may have been off, and it is sad,
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: but that's life. And I've always been someone who wants
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: to keep a very tight circle. I don't enjoy a
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: lot of people around me, and my psychic told me
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: that I have to burn bridges, and I'm.
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: Like, if I burn anymore, and just gonna be no
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: one left.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: But from an outside perspective, if I were looking in
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: on me, I'd be like, this bitch is insane. She
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: like can't keep any friendships or relationships.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: Like I get it.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: I'm not looking at you thinking you're crazy. I definitely
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: have had my Taylor Swift moments of Hey, Hi, I'm
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: the problem.
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: It's me. It's something that I need to I can't.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: Be all in so quickly, and I have to be
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: more transparent about what I can do and what I
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: can't do. So when I make new friends, I tell
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: them I may not be the friend that you want
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: because I'm not going to be texting you back all
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: the time. I'm not going to answer every phone like I.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: That's just who I am. So if you're looking for
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: a best friend, like I'm like a friend, but I'm
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: also thirty five years old with babies. You're a new mom,
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: and you now know that your priorities are gonna shift a.
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: Bit, right, Yes, definitely, Yeah, things are gonna be different.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: I'm not saying that I handle things the right way,
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: but it is what it is. And I'm just so
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: thrilled that you like had the the ovaries to come
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: on the podcast and face me and tell me the
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: beef you have.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: You're a bad bitch.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: Of course I'm gonna let you go be with your
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: sleeping baby. Congratulations.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: I'm wishing you all the best.
• 19:38
  Speaker 7: Thank you so much for having me.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: Of course, Bye, babe. Okay, that was actually very amazing.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: I just I don't even want to say faced off
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: with three haters because they were actually like very productive
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: conversations and honest, and I loved that. It all kind
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: of boils down to one thing. We liked you. But
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: season eleven you lost me and I became not a fan.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: And I don't quite know how that makes me feel,
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: because actually I know exactly how it makes me feel.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: It reminds me that although I'm on a TV show,
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: like the audience does very much put you in a box,
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: and when you're doing a TV show and then you
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: kind of go home and you're with yourself, and cameras
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: are not capturing every single moment of your life, right
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: and season eleven, as you guys know it, I was
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: very much in a very very dark place. I had
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: told my agent a million in one times, I do
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: not want to go back. I am in a bad spot.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: I'm in a bad place trying to wrap my head
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: around the fact that my life is my life, and
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: I have to accept that I was angry, I was depressed.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: I was deeply saddened by just like what my reality was.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: And then I was having to go in and film
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: a show and focus on other people and have feelings
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: about other people when I barely knew my own thoughts
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: about myself and my own life, and it was one
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: of the most difficult seasons I've ever filmed. And so
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: to hear that when I was in the darkest, most
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: vulnerable place of my life, that's when people didn't like
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: me anymore, that's like really tough to hear because that was. Yes,
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: I could have handled it very differently with Katie, with Ariana,
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: but I can't go back, and I can't handle something
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: differently that I've never done before. There were so many
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: motions that I was feeling that I was like, what
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: is this. I literally felt like I was floundering. I
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: was in the middle of the ocean by myself, just
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: like praying to God that someone was going to rescue me.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: I blew up my own spot. I shot myself in
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: the foot, But it was real, like what I went
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: and said, how I was feeling. What I went and did,
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: that was me doing the best that I could in
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: that moment. And if I lost people during that time,
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: then you know, I have to be okay with that.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: I truly believe that we're all here and our journeys
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: and our life story was written in the star as
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: well before we even got here, and I don't think
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: that there's any mistakes in life. And maybe that's just
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: what I have to tell myself in order to sleep
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: okay at night. But I've had to work very hard.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: And it was just recently, and you have to remember
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: that that season was I think over two years ago.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: It's taken me that long to somewhat regain a little
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: bit of confidence, regain some self worth, you know, it
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: to take me from, you know, the deepest, darkest place
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: I think I've been in a very long time, and
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: then add the public's perception of me. I was in
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: a dark hole and I'm a crier by nature, but
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: this was like a deep sadness crying every day that
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: Easton and my mom had to like get me out of.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: I had to avoid the internet. I was trying to
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: create a safe space for the baby that I had
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: wanted for a couple of years. At that point. It
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: was a funky place and if I could go back,
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: I would. And I'm not the same person, and I
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: don't want to say that that's in a good way.
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: Like I it knocked me off my knocked me off.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: My rocker, and I'm still trying to gain, you know,
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: some sort of identity of who I, you know, used
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: to be because now I second guess everything that comes
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: out of my mouth, right like, because I know it's
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: always going to go back to that like you did
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: this season eleven. I'm always going to be labeled a hypocrite.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: And it's just intense and I'm trying to work through it.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: So Cameron the first I don't even want to label
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: her as a hater. Who Cameron, who had beef with me,
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: said that I'm not a girl's girl, and I have
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: to be honest, you guys, and you're all gonna.
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: Come for me.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: I fucking hate that term girls girl. None of us
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: are following it. It puts a target on your back
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: when you label yourself a girl's girl, because that means
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: you can never have beef with another woman. And I
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: don't know if I can say that I'm I do
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: feel like in this upcoming season of The Valley In
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: from my perspective, I think I'm a girl's girl.
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: But I also really.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: We hate that term because none of us are following it,
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: not even me. None of us are girls girls all right,
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: Because I have to be honest, The people who are
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: telling me I'm not a girl's girl in the comment
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: section are fucking dragging me to filth. So you're also
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: not a fucking girls girl bitch, Like everyone, shut the
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: fuck up, it doesn't exist. It puts a target on
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: your back. I don't want to be labeled that. I
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: don't want to claim it. I will say being a
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: woman is the hardest thing on the planet because we
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: don't have a safe space. We don't have a safe
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: space when it comes to toxic masculinity, which is alive
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: and well, and we don't have a safe space amongst
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: each other either. It's like every woman for themselves. And
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: I am a lone wolf. I am guarded, I am nervous,
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: I am scared. I am all these things that I
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: never in a million years thought that I would fucking be.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: And I know, slowly but surely I will reclaim who
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: I am. But there's always no matter who you are,
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: there will always be a moment that you experience where
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: you're like, that moment changed who I am, and I
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: don't know that I will ever be the same person.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: Season eleven was one of those.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: Moments, like my dad passing, of course, getting sober, of
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: course you're a different person, but like you learn to cope, right,
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: It's like it's a sadness, but there's something beautiful at
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: the end of it, like with the healing. With this,
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: there's nothing beautiful about it, like I'm always gonna have.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: I have to wear it like a fucking scarlet letter.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: It's suffocating, but I can't control other people, and I
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: always say I can only control myself, so like, shake
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: it off, bitch. I have still had the hardest fucking
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: time shaking it off. So and how crazy I thought
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: that the haters would come on and have like all
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: sorts of things, and it always goes back to season eleven.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: What I would give to go back in time and
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: have my team listen to me when I said, do
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: not send me back. I want out. I gotta focus
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: on myself.
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: Fuck you know.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: It was a part of the journey and here we are.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: So you guys, thank you for listening. If you want
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: to face off with me, your little fucking haters, I
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: would love to see your gorgeous faces, so make sure
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: you email slide in the DMS at untraditionally la la pod.
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: I can't wait to hear from you.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: Don't just stay in the comments section like let's have
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: a face off. I love you, guys, and I'm gonna
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: catch you for the bonus on Monday and again next week.
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: Bye.