Latest / Hey BigHead: The Vegas Local Podcast / Piff the Magic Dragon Turns the Table on BigHead | 330

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Piff the Magic Dragon Turns the Table on BigHead | 330 · Hey BigHead: The Vegas Local Podcast

0:00
SPEAKER_02: We're doing it.
0:02
SPEAKER_02: I got a music plan.
0:03
SPEAKER_02: You have your headphones kind of on.
0:04
SPEAKER_02: That's okay.
0:04
SPEAKER_02: You don't need them.
0:05
SPEAKER_02: I don't need them.
0:06
SPEAKER_02: Unless you want them to look good on your head.
0:08
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
0:08
SPEAKER_02: We're good.
0:09
SPEAKER_02: Boys and girls, welcome back to the Hey Big Head Show.
0:12
SPEAKER_02: Julie, we have Vegas royalty in the Big Head show.
0:15
SPEAKER_05: Oh, do we?
0:16
SPEAKER_02: We do.
0:16
SPEAKER_05: Is it me?
0:17
SPEAKER_02: You know, usually it is.
0:19
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
0:20
SPEAKER_02: Brandon, don't change the camera angle just yet because I want Julie to give me a drum roll as I lead up to who is it.
0:25
SPEAKER_02: You ready for it?
0:27
SPEAKER_02: Take your time.
0:27
SPEAKER_05: All right.
0:28
SPEAKER_05: That's here, ready?
0:28
SPEAKER_05: We're gonna go on the laptop.
0:29
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
0:30
SPEAKER_02: He's a strip.
0:32
SPEAKER_02: He's a strip headliner.
0:34
SPEAKER_02: A magician.
0:35
SPEAKER_05: I can't go anymore.
0:36
SPEAKER_05: I know.
0:36
SPEAKER_02: A comedian.
0:37
SPEAKER_02: He's a dragon and he's British, and somehow it all makes sense because today we have Piff the Magic Dragon here in the studio.
0:45
SPEAKER_02: Hello.
0:45
SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the show.
0:47
SPEAKER_00: Am I?
0:48
SPEAKER_00: I got given an address.
0:50
SPEAKER_00: I drove to a nondescript office-based strip mall.
0:55
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: There was a building with no visible identification on it, other than the number six.
1:02
SPEAKER_00: And I walked in.
1:03
SPEAKER_00: Am I gonna get murdered here?
1:05
SPEAKER_05: Maybe.
1:05
SPEAKER_05: You know, find out.
1:06
SPEAKER_00: Where is your money coming from?
1:08
SPEAKER_02: Uh when I bought and sold Netflix.tv.
1:10
SPEAKER_02: That's where the money came from.
1:11
SPEAKER_00: Well, they won't know that because we didn't start recording when they walked in.
1:14
SPEAKER_00: So they missed all that story.
1:16
SPEAKER_00: And you know, what do you do?
1:17
SPEAKER_00: What is this?
1:18
SPEAKER_00: What is happening?
1:19
SPEAKER_00: I don't know anything.
1:20
SPEAKER_00: I'm just I just said yes, and I arrived 30 minutes late.
1:23
SPEAKER_00: That's my contribution.
1:24
SPEAKER_02: You know what?
1:25
SPEAKER_02: And we appreciate your contribution.
1:26
SPEAKER_00: That's all I've done today.
1:27
SPEAKER_02: I am honored that you are here for with us.
1:30
SPEAKER_02: Uh listen, you I want to learn a little bit more about you before we learn about me.
1:34
SPEAKER_00: Don't go ahead.
1:36
SPEAKER_00: Try and navigate your way out of this.
1:39
SPEAKER_00: What do you do?
1:40
SPEAKER_00: Is this a front for some weird big head?
1:43
SPEAKER_00: I gotta tell you.
1:43
SPEAKER_00: Human trafficking business.
1:45
SPEAKER_00: Have you, you know.
1:47
SPEAKER_00: So here's the deal.
1:48
SPEAKER_00: How many list how many people listen to this?
1:49
SPEAKER_02: We get about a thousand views and downloads per episode after 30 days.
1:54
SPEAKER_00: After 30 days?
1:55
SPEAKER_02: After 30 days.
1:56
SPEAKER_02: Are you impressed with that?
1:57
SPEAKER_00: It's quicker for me just to go around and tell people individually.
2:00
SPEAKER_05: You know what?
2:01
SPEAKER_05: We're working on it.
2:02
SPEAKER_00: Well, how about this?
2:03
SPEAKER_00: How about this?
2:04
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
2:04
SPEAKER_00: How about let's hope that this is one of the early episodes that pushes you up there.
2:09
SPEAKER_00: You know what?
2:10
SPEAKER_00: And also and not only does it increase your listenership now, but later when you know you're into the millions, people go back into your back catalogue and this becomes your most listened to bank episode.
2:22
SPEAKER_03: That's the goal.
2:23
SPEAKER_02: You are the reason for our launch.
2:25
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
2:26
SPEAKER_00: So let's move forward on that basis because any other basis is too depressing.
2:30
SPEAKER_00: Who can we get after you?
2:32
SPEAKER_00: After after you're on, who can we get from?
2:34
SPEAKER_00: How much is it costing you to be here?
2:36
SPEAKER_02: Uh about 3,000 a month.
2:37
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
2:38
SPEAKER_00: And where's that?
2:39
SPEAKER_00: And what are you doing?
2:39
SPEAKER_00: What is Big Head?
2:40
SPEAKER_02: Big Head is just a Vegas local podcast.
2:43
SPEAKER_02: And we have That's it?
2:44
SPEAKER_02: It's just a book.
2:44
SPEAKER_02: You now you have multiple businesses?
2:47
SPEAKER_02: I have uh Veg we own VegasLocal.com, which we take the episodes that we shoot here and we write blogs about them, or we have blogs about upcoming events this weekend.
2:55
SPEAKER_00: Well, so that's not helping.
2:56
SPEAKER_00: So what where's your m so what other businesses have you got there?
3:00
SPEAKER_00: I want to make sure you have a roof over your head.
3:02
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
3:02
SPEAKER_00: I I appreciate that.
3:03
SPEAKER_00: Uh we also Are you just independently wealthy?
3:06
SPEAKER_00: Did you retire early?
3:07
SPEAKER_00: He wishes.
3:08
SPEAKER_00: I do wish.
3:09
SPEAKER_00: You need money?
3:10
SPEAKER_00: Is that what it is?
3:10
SPEAKER_00: You need money?
3:11
SPEAKER_02: Are you doing this?
3:12
SPEAKER_02: Every every segment that I've watched on you, you've always asked for$20 or at least some sort of amount of money.
3:17
SPEAKER_00: Only when I felt that they had the ability to give that.
3:20
SPEAKER_00: And what about it?
3:23
SPEAKER_00: In this situation.
3:23
SPEAKER_05: Today he's offering you$20.
3:25
SPEAKER_00: I already feel like you spent too much on the couch.
3:28
SPEAKER_00: It's a great couch, by the way.
3:30
SPEAKER_00: This is like a couch of manifestation.
3:32
SPEAKER_00: You're like, if we buy the couch, we'll get the views.
3:35
SPEAKER_04: Correct.
3:36
SPEAKER_00: We need to manifest the couch, everything will follow.
3:39
SPEAKER_00: So far, so good on the couch.
3:40
SPEAKER_00: We got Piff.
3:42
SPEAKER_00: You're right, you got me.
3:43
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
3:44
SPEAKER_00: Which is the first step.
3:45
SPEAKER_05: You loved the couch.
3:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
3:46
SPEAKER_02: How do you feel about that pillow that you're sitting next to?
3:48
SPEAKER_02: The flamingo one.
3:49
SPEAKER_00: Indifferent.
3:49
SPEAKER_02: You're not a fan of it.
3:50
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
3:51
SPEAKER_00: I'm not a fan, I just don't care about it.
3:53
SPEAKER_00: You're a tough one.
3:54
SPEAKER_00: That's how I feel about all pillows and cushions.
3:56
SPEAKER_00: You know, we buys them for our house.
3:59
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
4:00
SPEAKER_00: And then for some reason we need to buy new ones because I don't know, they've gone out of style or whatever.
4:06
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
4:06
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, these pillows bring nothing to my life.
4:09
SPEAKER_00: They don't bring me down.
4:11
SPEAKER_00: They don't bring anything bad.
4:13
SPEAKER_00: They just make no difference.
4:14
SPEAKER_02: How many pillows do you have on your bed?
4:15
SPEAKER_02: Would you make it?
4:16
SPEAKER_00: Oh well, actually, we've we I managed to win that fight.
4:21
SPEAKER_00: We have one pillow each, but we do have five dogs.
4:24
SPEAKER_05: One pillow each?
4:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we sought pillows for dogs.
4:28
SPEAKER_00: It was either pillows or dogs, and the dogs took over the bed.
4:31
SPEAKER_00: So I was like, well, we can't have the pillows there.
4:33
SPEAKER_05: I feel like two.
4:34
SPEAKER_00: Because the dogs hump the pillows.
4:37
SPEAKER_00: All five of them?
4:38
SPEAKER_00: It was a health and safety thing.
4:39
SPEAKER_00: They all do it.
4:40
SPEAKER_00: They all take turns and won this pillow.
4:43
SPEAKER_00: They all gang bang a pillow.
4:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
4:45
SPEAKER_02: You hear that?
4:47
SPEAKER_02: Snort.
4:48
SPEAKER_02: Do you sleep with all five dogs in the bed?
4:50
SPEAKER_02: That's that.
4:51
SPEAKER_02: Do you sleep with all five dogs in the bed?
4:52
SPEAKER_00: That's what I just said.
4:53
SPEAKER_00: Not when they're games, you can't do it.
4:57
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
4:57
SPEAKER_00: That's not going to get you the views you need to pay for the couch.
5:02
unknown: Jesus Christ.
5:04
SPEAKER_02: We're after a strong start here.
5:05
SPEAKER_02: I'm excited for this.
5:06
SPEAKER_05: I love when the guests come on and they're harsh with you.
5:08
SPEAKER_00: So listen, you've told me two businesses reliant on each other that make no money.
5:13
SPEAKER_00: Where's the other money coming from?
5:14
SPEAKER_02: I have a digital marketing company.
5:16
SPEAKER_00: There you go.
5:16
SPEAKER_00: Do you have savings as well?
5:18
SPEAKER_00: I do.
5:18
SPEAKER_00: Did you set yourself up?
5:19
SPEAKER_00: You go, I've got half a million dollars to last me for three years.
5:22
SPEAKER_00: Let's see if I can do it.
5:23
SPEAKER_02: You know what?
5:24
SPEAKER_02: I do have a dollar amount that I have saved.
5:26
SPEAKER_02: Which is not half a million.
5:27
SPEAKER_00: Is it less?
5:28
SPEAKER_00: It's less than half a million.
5:29
SPEAKER_00: Oh shit.
5:29
SPEAKER_02: Listen, I'm a single guy.
5:31
SPEAKER_02: I don't, I'm not married.
5:32
SPEAKER_02: I have no kids.
5:32
SPEAKER_00: Oh, you got no nothing tying you down?
5:34
SPEAKER_00: You have pets?
5:35
SPEAKER_00: I have a cat.
5:35
SPEAKER_00: Well, that's a dependent.
5:37
SPEAKER_00: How do you feel about that?
5:38
SPEAKER_00: I feel like you got a dependent.
5:39
SPEAKER_05: Well, he can claim it on his tax return then.
5:41
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
5:41
SPEAKER_00: If the cat works.
5:42
SPEAKER_00: Well my dog works.
5:44
SPEAKER_00: That's true.
5:44
SPEAKER_00: Your dog does work.
5:45
SPEAKER_00: My dog is, I can write it off.
5:47
SPEAKER_01: Plural.
5:48
SPEAKER_01: Plural dogs.
5:49
SPEAKER_00: No, well, there's only yeah, you're right, plural.
5:51
SPEAKER_00: There's one dog who does most of the work.
5:53
SPEAKER_00: The other two are only part-timers.
5:55
SPEAKER_02: Fortune.
5:55
SPEAKER_02: You were gonna bring fortune here.
5:57
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but then I forgot.
5:59
SPEAKER_00: I forgot this was happening.
6:01
SPEAKER_00: I'm amazed I mean Which by the way, I'm amazed you're here.
6:03
SPEAKER_05: Just so you know, I was excited to meet you, but all week long I'm like, oh, I can't wait to meet Piff, but I really can't wait to meet Mr.
6:10
SPEAKER_05: Piffles.
6:10
SPEAKER_05: Didn't even bring him.
6:11
SPEAKER_00: No.
6:12
SPEAKER_05: Did not.
6:13
SPEAKER_05: Well, so you have to come back.
6:15
SPEAKER_00: Honestly, the level you're at right now, I think I brought the appropriate amount of effort.
6:20
SPEAKER_00: I brought me 30 minutes late.
6:23
SPEAKER_05: We got a hoodie?
6:24
SPEAKER_00: That's that's that's the kind of you know, that's where you're hitting right now.
6:27
SPEAKER_00: That's showbiz, baby.
6:28
SPEAKER_00: Not the full costume, just a little dragon hoodie.
6:30
SPEAKER_00: Hoodie.
6:31
SPEAKER_00: And I only put it on because I saw this set that you built.
6:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I was gonna wear my regular clothes, but I but I thought, you know what, they've gone to some effort.
6:38
SPEAKER_00: I should go to some effort.
6:39
SPEAKER_00: Not much, but some effort.
6:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
6:41
SPEAKER_00: So I did.
6:41
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I have a car trick.
6:43
SPEAKER_05: I love that.
6:44
SPEAKER_00: Should we run out of competit conversation?
6:46
SPEAKER_05: I don't think we will.
6:47
SPEAKER_00: I don't think we.
6:48
SPEAKER_00: I don't think we will, but should we?
6:49
SPEAKER_00: It's there as we know it's gone bad when I'm doing car tricks.
6:52
SPEAKER_05: I do, I would like to see it though, if we have time.
6:54
SPEAKER_00: Well, but then we'll know it's gone bad.
6:56
SPEAKER_05: That's fine.
6:57
SPEAKER_00: Are these are these Star Wars posters behind you?
6:59
SPEAKER_00: They are.
6:59
SPEAKER_00: I see your manipulation.
7:01
SPEAKER_00: What's that?
7:02
SPEAKER_00: You own the artwork?
7:03
SPEAKER_02: Uh I own ish.
7:04
SPEAKER_02: I own the You own the copyright of it?
7:07
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's right.
7:08
SPEAKER_02: Do you not do you not know my last name is Lucas?
7:10
SPEAKER_00: Well, here's the thing.
7:11
SPEAKER_00: When this gets picked up, and when I'm on the new when I die, this is the clip they show, because it's the most prominent uh clip of me in existence.
7:20
SPEAKER_00: Clearly.
7:20
SPEAKER_00: You don't want to have to like do the rights for those paintings every time.
7:24
SPEAKER_05: We just won't cut to him.
7:25
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, well, okay, just be focused solely on you.
7:27
SPEAKER_02: That works.
7:27
SPEAKER_02: By the time you die, you'll be bigger than Star Wars anyway.
7:29
SPEAKER_02: I'm not concerned.
7:30
SPEAKER_00: Just be blurred out in the background.
7:33
SPEAKER_00: Some blurry pictures.
7:35
SPEAKER_00: Because that's also viable.
7:36
SPEAKER_00: Just blur them out, it's fine.
7:38
SPEAKER_00: If anyone gives you hassle, just blur them out.
7:40
SPEAKER_00: I'm learning.
7:40
SPEAKER_05: You're the one giving us hassle.
7:42
SPEAKER_05: I'm learning so much more.
7:43
SPEAKER_00: I'm learning so much more.
7:45
SPEAKER_00: How to get you know, shut down this conversation.
7:47
SPEAKER_00: You were like, we're just gonna blur them out, right?
7:49
SPEAKER_00: It's a it's a static shot, it's not gonna be a lot of work.
7:54
SPEAKER_00: All right, so you got a digital marketing business based in Vegas or worldwide?
7:59
SPEAKER_02: Based in Vegas, but we our clients are nationwide.
8:01
SPEAKER_00: Nationwide, not worldwide.
8:02
SPEAKER_00: Not worldwide, US based, no Canada.
8:05
SPEAKER_00: US based, no Canada.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: What kind of clients?
8:07
SPEAKER_00: Uh our two biggest clients are how many clients do you have?
8:11
SPEAKER_00: 50.
8:11
SPEAKER_00: 50?
8:12
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
8:12
SPEAKER_00: Five zero.
8:13
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
8:13
SPEAKER_00: That's a lot.
8:14
SPEAKER_00: How do you feel about that?
8:15
SPEAKER_00: I feel like now I'm okay sitting in this room.
8:17
SPEAKER_00: We're getting there.
8:17
SPEAKER_00: I don't feel as bad as a problem.
8:18
SPEAKER_02: We're making progress.
8:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
8:20
SPEAKER_02: Uh our two biggest clients is an SAT, ACT prep company that was on Shark Tank.
8:24
SPEAKER_02: SAT, what's that?
8:26
SPEAKER_05: Uh it's like one of the standardized tests for getting into university.
8:28
SPEAKER_00: I don't come from this country.
8:30
SPEAKER_05: That's okay.
8:31
SPEAKER_00: That's okay.
8:31
SPEAKER_00: It's basically what the smoke is.
8:32
SPEAKER_00: In my country, you get in with money.
8:34
SPEAKER_05: We have to have that here too.
8:36
SPEAKER_05: Oh, yeah.
8:36
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
8:37
SPEAKER_02: And then uh a phone sex hotline is our second biggest client.
8:40
SPEAKER_02: Right.
8:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
8:41
SPEAKER_02: Um they sell themselves.
8:42
SPEAKER_05: Are you familiar with that, or is that only in the US as well?
8:44
SPEAKER_00: No, we have that in the UK, but um that business has taken a hit over the years.
8:50
SPEAKER_00: Because of the digital world.
8:51
SPEAKER_00: Because of the digital world.
8:53
SPEAKER_00: You know.
8:54
SPEAKER_02: You know, your voice does sound familiar.
8:55
SPEAKER_02: I listened to some of the recordings.
8:57
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
8:57
SPEAKER_00: I'm calling in a lot, saying, does this number still work?
9:02
SPEAKER_00: I've just been uh How do you how do you how do they sell adverts for that now?
9:06
SPEAKER_00: What's their biggest platform?
9:07
SPEAKER_00: Online?
9:08
SPEAKER_00: Uh online, but still the the dirty mags.
9:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right.
9:11
SPEAKER_00: They don't want to remind people to use the internet.
9:14
SPEAKER_00: They they need to go to the people who are tired to the magazines.
9:17
SPEAKER_00: That's true.
9:17
SPEAKER_00: And you're a digital marketing company?
9:19
SPEAKER_00: There we are.
9:20
SPEAKER_00: Are you working in an analog environment for the phone sex company?
9:23
SPEAKER_02: Uh well, I handle the website, I built their database, and I occasionally listen to some of the calls because sometimes we put the we we we sell those calls.
9:33
SPEAKER_02: People buy the calls.
9:34
SPEAKER_02: What?
9:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
9:35
SPEAKER_00: People buy the audio recordings of the know this when you bring up, is it like, hey, this number is recorded?
9:40
SPEAKER_00: I think if you get uh you ask for permission, then yes.
9:44
SPEAKER_00: Why would somebody give you permission?
9:46
SPEAKER_02: They're paying for you, they're paying for it, right?
9:48
SPEAKER_02: Or do you get the call for free?
9:49
SPEAKER_02: You know, you're asking a lot of questions that I just don't have the answer to.
9:51
SPEAKER_00: No, I'm asking basic questions.
9:54
SPEAKER_05: Maybe it's a community builder.
9:55
SPEAKER_05: Right.
9:55
SPEAKER_05: Maybe it's like I'm into this, someone else might be into this.
9:58
SPEAKER_05: Exactly.
9:58
SPEAKER_00: Then it's like fair enough, record the conversation.
10:00
SPEAKER_00: Right.
10:01
SPEAKER_00: But if it's like I'm paying$19 a minute for this, and you're gonna take this and sell this later for fun, that seems a lot one-sided.
10:08
SPEAKER_02: Hey, can I tell you something?
10:09
SPEAKER_02: The owners, this husband and wife, the wife's been in the business forever.
10:12
SPEAKER_02: She's a madam, and they're the sweetest couple you will ever talk to in your life.
10:17
SPEAKER_02: It's it's it blows my mind.
10:19
SPEAKER_02: There are sweet people in the in all industries.
10:21
SPEAKER_02: I'm sure there are, but it's just the people you least expect to run a successful multi-million.
10:25
SPEAKER_00: Who did you most expect?
10:28
SPEAKER_00: Somebody like you?
10:29
SPEAKER_00: Me?
10:29
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
10:31
SPEAKER_00: I like it.
10:33
SPEAKER_00: I can have a phone sex company in the year 2026.
10:36
SPEAKER_00: Listen, we'll sign up.
10:37
SPEAKER_00: That's about as quickly as I get with the program, by the way.
10:40
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
10:40
SPEAKER_00: I'm very behind the times.
10:42
SPEAKER_00: Are you not tech savvy?
10:43
SPEAKER_00: Uh I used to be, and then tech just moved on.
10:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
10:47
SPEAKER_00: There was a jump.
10:48
SPEAKER_00: You know, it's like this, it's like how I'm with magic.
10:51
SPEAKER_00: I used to be like one of the best car magicians in the country when I was in the UK.
10:56
SPEAKER_00: And when I was at 18, 19, 20.
10:58
SPEAKER_00: Sure.
10:58
SPEAKER_00: Then the internet came along and YouTube came along, and everyone started sharing their skills.
11:03
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not really very sociable.
11:04
SPEAKER_00: So I didn't get on that bandwagon, and everyone just got really good without me.
11:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
11:09
SPEAKER_00: And now I'm basic at card magic at best.
11:13
SPEAKER_00: How do you feel about Matt Franco's a lot better than me at card magic?
11:16
SPEAKER_00: Matt Franco's incredible.
11:16
SPEAKER_00: And that hurts me every day.
11:18
SPEAKER_00: Does it?
11:18
SPEAKER_00: He's a terrible person.
11:19
SPEAKER_00: Are you serious?
11:20
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he pushed the kid down the stairs the other day.
11:22
SPEAKER_02: I feel like you're lying to me.
11:23
SPEAKER_00: No, it was it was on the meet and greet.
11:25
SPEAKER_00: They had these stairs, and this kid was like, hey Matt, I just want to say how much um I love you, and you're my idol, and you're everything I think that is good about magic.
11:35
SPEAKER_00: And Matt just pushed the kid down the stairs and spat on them and left.
11:40
SPEAKER_00: Be honest, were you the kid?
11:41
SPEAKER_00: I was the kid.
11:42
SPEAKER_00: I knew it.
11:43
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
11:43
SPEAKER_00: I knew it the whole time.
11:44
SPEAKER_00: I was pranking Matt Franco for a video.
11:46
SPEAKER_00: For my new my new YouTube channel.
11:49
SPEAKER_00: Piff pranks Matt Franco.
11:51
SPEAKER_05: It's just you pranking him the whole time.
11:53
SPEAKER_00: The most annoying thing about Matt is how nice he is.
11:56
SPEAKER_00: That's the most frustrating bit about it.
11:57
SPEAKER_00: He's always smiling.
11:59
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I feel like on the inside, deep down, he's a terrible person.
12:02
SPEAKER_00: But he seems to be good.
12:05
SPEAKER_00: I turned up that every year they have this uh toy drive for it's Chet.
12:10
SPEAKER_00: You know Chet who does the local radio?
12:11
SPEAKER_00: Chet Buchanan?
12:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
12:13
SPEAKER_00: So every every year they have this toy drive, you turn up and and give them gifts.
12:16
SPEAKER_00: And I turned up with$500 of cash for these kids.
12:21
SPEAKER_00: And I turned up and it was a parking lot full of bicycles.
12:26
SPEAKER_00: And I said, Where did all these bicycles come from?
12:28
SPEAKER_00: And they said, Oh, Matt Franco was here yesterday with a semi-truck full of bicycles, and I didn't give them to my$500.
12:35
SPEAKER_00: I was like, I'd rather take this home with me than than give this beautiful amount to you.
12:41
SPEAKER_02: Is it because you'd rather show up with nothing than just a smaller amount?
12:43
SPEAKER_00: I'd rather I'd rather them say Piff gave us nothing than Piff gave us$500 and Matt gave us a semi-truck full of bicycles.
12:51
SPEAKER_02: Can I break some news to you?
12:52
SPEAKER_00: What's that?
12:52
SPEAKER_02: Chet Buchanan isn't around anymore.
12:55
SPEAKER_00: I know he's he's not he's not dead, he's dead.
12:57
SPEAKER_00: He's alive.
12:58
SPEAKER_00: He's alive and well.
12:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I know he's not around anymore doing that thing.
13:01
SPEAKER_00: Well, I he's not on the station anymore, is that right?
13:03
SPEAKER_00: Correct.
13:04
SPEAKER_00: But is he doing his own thing?
13:05
SPEAKER_00: Uh he's in Seattle now.
13:07
SPEAKER_02: Oh, he's in Seattle and he moved.
13:08
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
13:09
SPEAKER_02: I I think he was based in Seattle, but he worked here a lot.
13:12
SPEAKER_02: Right.
13:12
SPEAKER_02: And then he left the morning show.
13:14
SPEAKER_00: Well, it's a it's a dying art, isn't it?
13:15
SPEAKER_00: The radio.
13:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
13:17
SPEAKER_00: So as you were finding out.
13:20
SPEAKER_05: This isn't radio, it's different.
13:23
SPEAKER_02: Still dying.
13:24
SPEAKER_02: How do you feel about the fact that everything is digital?
13:27
SPEAKER_02: That everything that's- I thought you were gonna say everything is dying.
13:29
SPEAKER_02: No, no, no, no, no.
13:30
SPEAKER_02: Which is also true.
13:31
SPEAKER_05: I was saying, yeah, that is happening.
13:32
SPEAKER_02: I love the optimism coming from you.
13:34
SPEAKER_00: Well, you know, maybe we can all die together.
13:37
SPEAKER_00: I that's how that's my philosophy.
13:39
SPEAKER_00: Jade, who is in the show as my Las Vegas show girl and is also my fiance, right?
13:45
SPEAKER_00: Um, she is a survivalist.
13:48
SPEAKER_00: If you, you know, in the zombie movies, she's the one in the camp keeping the perimeter secured.
13:55
SPEAKER_00: I want to be first out.
13:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you remember Independence Day?
13:58
SPEAKER_00: Of course.
13:58
SPEAKER_00: I want to be in that first beam, just getting vaporized immediately.
14:03
SPEAKER_00: Nobody has any use for a magic dragon in the apocalypse.
14:07
SPEAKER_00: This is not contributing to society in any meaningful way moving forwards.
14:12
SPEAKER_00: So I don't want to be in that society where society doesn't need me.
14:16
SPEAKER_00: You don't want to be a Will Smith?
14:17
SPEAKER_00: You don't want to be a Jeff Goldblum?
14:19
SPEAKER_00: No, I want to be first out.
14:20
SPEAKER_05: Okay, but as a magic dragon, hypothetically, couldn't you just breathe fire on all the zombies?
14:27
SPEAKER_00: That's the issue.
14:28
SPEAKER_00: We'll f that people will say, hey, don't we have Piff Manager?
14:32
SPEAKER_00: Can't he just breathe fire on all the zombies?
14:34
SPEAKER_00: And I'll be in the awkward position of having to explain no.
14:38
SPEAKER_00: No, I've got no usable skills in this situation, guys.
14:42
SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be very disappointing.
14:43
SPEAKER_00: Would you want a piffy put down?
14:44
SPEAKER_00: Because that's all I have right now.
14:46
SPEAKER_00: Just some deep snark.
14:49
SPEAKER_00: You know?
14:49
SPEAKER_00: Maybe that would be a good one.
14:50
SPEAKER_00: When the rations are running out, I'll come up with the quippy one-liner about how we're all gonna die sooner than we expected.
14:56
SPEAKER_05: We can all die together.
14:57
SPEAKER_05: That's what you're talking about.
14:58
SPEAKER_00: Eat me now.
14:59
SPEAKER_00: That's my advice to you.
15:00
SPEAKER_00: Eat me now.
15:01
SPEAKER_02: I've met you and Jade before.
15:03
SPEAKER_02: Um before the show.
15:04
SPEAKER_02: Well, one of the shows, my friend Heather and I, we were able to meet the dogs, and you and Jade are.
15:08
SPEAKER_00: Oh, you came up that night with Heather?
15:10
SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
15:10
SPEAKER_00: That was me.
15:11
SPEAKER_00: Heather takes a lot of the attention in the room.
15:13
SPEAKER_00: And that's okay.
15:14
SPEAKER_00: So we didn't notice you.
15:16
SPEAKER_05: He's certainly like background when Heather's there.
15:18
SPEAKER_02: Listen, you know your role when you're with when you're with Heather.
15:20
SPEAKER_02: When you're Heather's plus one.
15:23
SPEAKER_02: I feel like Jade runs the show.
15:24
SPEAKER_02: Jade's a very strong, very business savvy woman, and I feel like she is your boss.
15:30
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
15:31
SPEAKER_02: How do you feel about this?
15:32
SPEAKER_00: It's a bold take.
15:33
SPEAKER_00: And no, it's incorrect.
15:35
SPEAKER_00: Jade runs a house.
15:37
SPEAKER_00: Jade keeps our life together.
15:39
SPEAKER_00: She looks after the dogs.
15:40
SPEAKER_00: We have five dogs.
15:42
SPEAKER_00: We had the original Mr.
15:43
SPEAKER_00: Pivbles who's passed away now.
15:45
SPEAKER_00: And I got him when he was um uh a year and nine months old.
15:50
SPEAKER_00: He's a rescue dog, he got him from um Dundee in Scotland, because I was doing the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, and the girl who was running the venue had a chihuahua, and I put the chihuahua in my show because I felt like there was just something missing.
16:02
SPEAKER_00: It was my first ever hour-long show.
16:03
SPEAKER_00: Sure.
16:04
SPEAKER_00: So I'd never done 60 minutes, and after and over 60 minutes, I was like, there needs to be something more going on than just a dick in a dragon outfit.
16:11
SPEAKER_00: So we put this dog in, and it was really funny, and I was like, I'm gonna I'm gonna do this.
16:15
SPEAKER_00: And this girl found this dog on Gumtree, which is like the Craigslist of the UK, sure, and we put him into the show, and it would just kill immediately.
16:24
SPEAKER_00: So he's been my sort of wingman for we were together for 15 years.
16:30
SPEAKER_00: He passed away just before he turned 17.
16:32
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
16:33
SPEAKER_00: And um by about when he was eight, I was like, I need to get you an understudy.
16:39
SPEAKER_00: So we started looking for other dogs, and we found this dog who looked exactly like him on eBay of all places.
16:46
SPEAKER_00: I didn't realise they had dogs on eBay, but we found this dog on eBay, so we clicked buy it now, and then we I met this woman in California in a in a Wendy's parking lot, and she had a haunted look in her eyes, and she was wearing a bandage on her arm that looked like she'd been savaged by um a bunch of rabid dogs, and she had this scrawny thing in her arms, and we gave her all this money, and she gave us this dog, and we took him home, and he was useless.
17:17
SPEAKER_00: He was um ridiculously anxious about everything.
17:22
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
17:22
SPEAKER_00: He was trembling like a leaf.
17:24
SPEAKER_00: So we just turned him into a regular dog.
17:27
SPEAKER_00: He just became our pet dog, and and he did two shows and was he he had to do two shows because Mr.
17:34
SPEAKER_00: Piffles was in the UK, his flight was delayed, so we just had to put this other dog in the show that night.
17:40
SPEAKER_00: He did one show and he was we knew he would he wasn't gonna make it into the business permanently, and then he did a second show and bit a child, so he fired himself.
17:51
SPEAKER_00: Um and then a few years later, we got another dog and he looked exactly like Mr.
17:56
SPEAKER_00: Pills and was amazing in the show, but he kept eating and Mr.
18:00
SPEAKER_00: Pills was five pounds.
18:02
SPEAKER_00: This dog's now 16 pounds, and I can't hold him up long enough to do the show with him.
18:06
SPEAKER_00: So he also got fired.
18:07
SPEAKER_00: And at this point, I was like, we can't just keep rehoming dogs because we had four dogs then, right?
18:12
SPEAKER_00: Because Piffles, no, is that right?
18:14
SPEAKER_00: We have three dogs, three dogs.
18:15
SPEAKER_00: Pivbles was alive, yeah.
18:16
SPEAKER_00: Now, a dog pisses like what, like five times a day, maybe?
18:22
SPEAKER_02: Probably maybe let's go with that.
18:23
SPEAKER_00: Let's go with that.
18:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, these dogs they refuse to piss in a house because it's like where they hang out.
18:30
SPEAKER_00: So they would go outside, sit in the sun for a minute, you know, enjoy the grass and be like, oh, I'm dying for the dying for the carpet, and they come back in, just piss on the carpet, go back out again.
18:42
SPEAKER_00: They're monsters.
18:43
SPEAKER_00: So Jay's cleaning this up.
18:44
SPEAKER_00: Three dogs, that's 15 pisses a day.
18:47
SPEAKER_00: She actually's cleaning up in the house.
18:49
SPEAKER_05: That's too many.
18:50
SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, we can't just keep like rolling the dice.
18:52
SPEAKER_00: And then I read about these dogs in South Korea that could sniff bombs, okay, and they're the most difficult dogs to train.
18:59
SPEAKER_00: Cause because like um if you're a dog, that's the last thing you want to learn is sniffing bombs.
19:05
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
19:06
SPEAKER_00: So they had a 94% failure rate with these.
19:08
SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure what failure means, but probably but they had a 94% failure rate.
19:14
SPEAKER_00: So they uh cloned the successful ones, and all the cloned dogs could sniff bombs because apparently it was genetic.
19:22
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
19:22
SPEAKER_00: And I thought, well, if it works at bombs, maybe it's gonna work for magic.
19:25
SPEAKER_00: So I took Mr.
19:25
SPEAKER_00: Pills to the vets, we got him cloned.
19:28
SPEAKER_00: Everyone said it was a terrible idea, it cost$60,000, and about we got this like little puppy uh nine months later.
19:38
SPEAKER_00: Who knows whether he's gonna work?
19:39
SPEAKER_00: Because I didn't have Piffles as a puppy.
19:41
SPEAKER_00: So we had to wait until he was like a year and nine months old, and then we put him in the show, and he was fantastic.
19:46
SPEAKER_00: Really?
19:47
SPEAKER_00: He took over the show, and then he took over from Piffles.
19:50
SPEAKER_00: Piffles had the last six months of his life off, probably why he died.
19:54
SPEAKER_00: You know what it's like when people retire, they die.
19:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what else are they living for?
19:58
SPEAKER_00: Right.
19:58
SPEAKER_00: So that's exactly our fault.
20:00
SPEAKER_00: We killed we killed Piffles by uh taking him out of the show.
20:04
SPEAKER_00: But he took over the show, and it works so well.
20:06
SPEAKER_00: We did it again, and this time we got twins, and the deal is you have the option to take all of the dogs in the litter, and because it was two, we we we took them both.
20:16
SPEAKER_00: So we have three cloned piffles, two useless dogs, that's five dogs now.
20:21
SPEAKER_00: That's 25 times Jay's cleaning up piss and shit in the house.
20:26
SPEAKER_00: She's it's no life for her.
20:27
SPEAKER_00: What are you doing?
20:28
SPEAKER_00: I'm work I'm I'm doing this with you.
20:31
SPEAKER_00: I'm here.
20:32
SPEAKER_00: And how much is this contributing to our life?
20:36
SPEAKER_00: Nothing.
20:36
SPEAKER_00: Nothing zero yet, nothing yet.
20:38
SPEAKER_00: Zero yet.
20:39
SPEAKER_00: We're I'm manifesting by being here on your fancy couch.
20:43
SPEAKER_00: You are, you know, I'm showing my belief in what you're doing.
20:48
SPEAKER_00: And so uh I need you guys to really make this work.
20:51
SPEAKER_05: Well, we need it to work too.
20:53
SPEAKER_05: Listen.
20:53
SPEAKER_05: Because I don't want to have to go do anything that I don't find fun.
20:56
SPEAKER_00: Well, you what's on your laptop?
20:57
SPEAKER_05: What's on my laptop?
20:58
SPEAKER_00: Are you Googling?
20:59
SPEAKER_00: What's he doing?
21:00
SPEAKER_05: Like the research I did on you and your live.
21:02
SPEAKER_00: You couldn't print that out.
21:02
SPEAKER_00: She's checking it out on Gunk True.
21:04
SPEAKER_05: Well, eventually, maybe I'll have a desk one day.
21:06
SPEAKER_00: What's he doing?
21:07
SPEAKER_05: He's camera switching and with the audio.
21:09
SPEAKER_00: Brent, you could just give him the computer.
21:11
SPEAKER_00: That's what we do with Janice.
21:13
SPEAKER_00: Janice does camera switching and also uh is in charge of Googling things.
21:18
SPEAKER_05: I'm not Googling things.
21:19
SPEAKER_00: Not yet, but you're ready to, right?
21:21
SPEAKER_00: He's going to.
21:21
SPEAKER_05: I mean, I could if I needed.
21:23
SPEAKER_00: Well then just have a printout.
21:24
SPEAKER_00: You just have a have like the or or even better better yet, memorize it.
21:28
SPEAKER_05: Didn't we just talk about all the things going digital?
21:30
SPEAKER_05: Now you want me to have a printed out paper.
21:32
SPEAKER_00: We haven't printed paper.
21:34
SPEAKER_00: We do have a printer.
21:34
SPEAKER_00: What about an iPad?
21:35
SPEAKER_00: At least he's got an iPad.
21:36
SPEAKER_05: Is he gonna buy me an iPad?
21:38
SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
21:38
SPEAKER_00: Do you not have an iPad?
21:39
SPEAKER_00: I don't.
21:40
SPEAKER_00: Oh, things are not going good, guys.
21:42
SPEAKER_00: Things are not going good.
21:43
SPEAKER_05: My laptop works for you.
21:44
SPEAKER_00: Are you kidding me?
21:45
SPEAKER_00: Two iPads in this economy?
21:46
SPEAKER_00: Hold on.
21:46
SPEAKER_05: I have a question about the dog cloning.
21:48
SPEAKER_00: What kind of iPad?
21:49
SPEAKER_00: What kind of computer is that?
21:50
SPEAKER_00: It looks like an old one.
21:50
SPEAKER_00: Is it an old one?
21:51
SPEAKER_05: 2018.
21:52
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yikes.
21:53
SPEAKER_00: Pre pandemic.
21:55
SPEAKER_02: Everything's pre pandemic or post pandemic.
21:57
SPEAKER_05: Is that how you view the world?
21:58
SPEAKER_05: Hold on.
21:59
SPEAKER_05: Can I ask you?
22:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you can ask anything you want at any time for any reason.
22:03
SPEAKER_05: Anything at any time for any reason.
22:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
22:05
SPEAKER_00: I may not answer.
22:06
SPEAKER_00: How long is this?
22:07
SPEAKER_00: How long have I been on it already?
22:08
SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
22:09
SPEAKER_00: Five minutes.
22:09
SPEAKER_05: When you clone your dogs.
22:11
SPEAKER_00: Five minutes long?
22:11
SPEAKER_00: That's it?
22:12
SPEAKER_00: That's how long you've been on.
22:13
SPEAKER_00: Oh.
22:13
SPEAKER_05: When you clone your dogs, is it like their personalities are exactly the same?
22:18
SPEAKER_05: No.
22:18
SPEAKER_00: No.
22:19
SPEAKER_00: And here's the thing: if you're out there and you have a pet that you love, I wouldn't advise cloning a dog.
22:25
SPEAKER_00: Because you don't get the personality.
22:29
SPEAKER_00: You don't.
22:29
SPEAKER_00: No.
22:30
SPEAKER_00: You get maybe something similar.
22:33
SPEAKER_00: It's like identical twins.
22:35
SPEAKER_00: That's the science.
22:36
SPEAKER_00: Identical twins are the same DNA.
22:37
SPEAKER_00: It's where they can frame each other for murder.
22:40
SPEAKER_00: So when you clone a dog, you basically get an accomplice that you can use to pull off a murder.
22:46
SPEAKER_00: Bite children.
22:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
22:47
SPEAKER_00: And blame the other person.
22:49
SPEAKER_00: So they're they're they're like siblings, so they're like, and and you know, you raise them similarly, so they have the same rough environment.
22:57
SPEAKER_00: But Pipples was kicked, he was like beat, he had the shit beaten out of him for the first year of his nine months of his life by this kid who and he was looked after awfully.
23:08
SPEAKER_00: So in order for us to get the same dog, we have to abuse this clone dog for a year and nine months.
23:16
SPEAKER_00: And I just couldn't quite bring myself to do it.
23:19
SPEAKER_00: I tried putting him in the glove box, but after three weeks, the whimpering was too much.
23:24
SPEAKER_05: The glove box is crazy.
23:26
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
23:26
SPEAKER_02: You see, here's the problem with you.
23:28
SPEAKER_02: You'll tell a story, and it sounds serious, it sounds sincere, but I feel like there's a punchline coming and I'm waiting for it.
23:35
SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to bury crimes, is what I'm doing.
23:38
SPEAKER_00: Four of these things are real.
23:40
SPEAKER_00: I just need to make all of them sound implausible so that the four real ones go.
23:44
SPEAKER_05: So that if you're ever accused of animal abuse, you're just like, oh, it was a joke I said on the podcast one more time.
23:50
SPEAKER_00: It's the perfect crime.
23:51
SPEAKER_00: Who's training these dogs?
23:52
SPEAKER_00: Training's a strong word, isn't it?
23:54
SPEAKER_00: You've seen the show.
23:55
SPEAKER_00: You've seen the show.
23:56
SPEAKER_00: They're paperweights.
23:57
SPEAKER_00: And that's why in our in our um situation it worked amazingly.
24:02
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
24:02
SPEAKER_00: Because most dogs will sit there and not give a shit if there's nothing for them to not give a shit about.
24:09
SPEAKER_00: So in our situation, it worked amazingly.
24:12
SPEAKER_00: They look the same.
24:14
SPEAKER_00: They, you know, they they fit in the same props.
24:17
SPEAKER_00: They so if you if you're a magic dragon and you need a new dog, clone, go for it.
24:22
SPEAKER_00: Clone, don't re-home.
24:24
SPEAKER_00: That's my slogan.
24:26
SPEAKER_00: Um if you are just looking for a pet, then then it's a lot of money to spend on.
24:32
SPEAKER_00: And also, it does remind you a lot about the thing that you love most that died.
24:37
SPEAKER_00: You know, like is that a good thing or a bad thing?
24:39
SPEAKER_00: It hurts every day.
24:40
SPEAKER_00: Does it?
24:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you just thought, oh god, I wish that.
24:42
SPEAKER_00: Because Piff was an eye, we he did over 3,000 shows together.
24:46
SPEAKER_00: He didn't get paid for any of them.
24:48
SPEAKER_00: And who's his manager?
24:50
SPEAKER_00: Uh, me.
24:52
SPEAKER_00: I tried to negotiate myself, but uh it turns out I'm a dick.
24:55
SPEAKER_05: It seems abusive in its own right.
24:57
SPEAKER_05: You a dick standard.
24:58
SPEAKER_05: I don't believe it.
24:58
SPEAKER_00: I don't believe it.
24:59
SPEAKER_00: You believe that?
24:59
SPEAKER_00: I don't believe it.
25:00
SPEAKER_00: So um but we came up together, everything good that happened in my career, all the big breaks, all of the meaningful milestones.
25:09
SPEAKER_00: It was him and I together way before I met Jade.
25:12
SPEAKER_00: You know, I met Jade just before I went on America's Got Talent.
25:15
SPEAKER_00: I was broken, homeless in Vegas, so broken, homeless, I was living in my friend's garage.
25:20
SPEAKER_00: And Jay, I met Jade, and she had this penthouse apartment at the Palms place, and I and she had the she had a bathtub in a front room.
25:29
SPEAKER_00: And I was, I'm like, I'm moving in.
25:31
SPEAKER_00: So I did.
25:31
SPEAKER_00: I just kept bringing, you know, you can just do it one set of clothes at a time.
25:36
SPEAKER_00: Every day you turn it with two sets of clothes, doesn't look like that much.
25:40
SPEAKER_00: You do that for six weeks, suddenly you're in.
25:42
SPEAKER_02: You know, Brandon, are you are you writing this down, Brandon?
25:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, okay.
25:45
SPEAKER_00: Whose office are you in?
25:46
SPEAKER_00: Is this yours?
25:47
SPEAKER_00: Do you this is me is this three grand a month?
25:50
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, that's about right.
25:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
25:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
25:53
SPEAKER_00: That's good.
25:54
SPEAKER_02: We're getting there.
25:55
SPEAKER_02: Listen, I'm I'm I'm working my way to over the 10-year mark, like you are, with your residency.
25:59
SPEAKER_02: You've been there for 11 years.
26:00
SPEAKER_02: 11 years.
26:01
SPEAKER_00: 11 years at the Flamingo.
26:02
SPEAKER_02: How many more years do you have left?
26:03
SPEAKER_02: In me?
26:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
26:05
SPEAKER_02: Not much.
26:06
SPEAKER_02: You don't think so?
26:06
SPEAKER_02: Not much.
26:07
SPEAKER_05: Well, if you quit, you might die.
26:08
SPEAKER_00: So exactly.
26:09
SPEAKER_00: Don't you think that's right.
26:10
SPEAKER_00: Well, that don't tempt me.
26:11
SPEAKER_00: Don't tempt me.
26:13
SPEAKER_05: We'll all die together.
26:14
SPEAKER_00: Um, I'd like uh I'm I'm actually 46.
26:20
SPEAKER_00: Really?
26:20
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
26:21
SPEAKER_00: Good for you.
26:22
SPEAKER_00: So um I'm not sure when it becomes pathetic to be an old man in a dragon outfit.
26:30
SPEAKER_00: It does, at some point, that's real.
26:32
SPEAKER_00: At some point, it's like, oh, he should have stopped.
26:34
SPEAKER_00: But the problem is everyone else will know this.
26:37
SPEAKER_00: I don't think I will.
26:38
SPEAKER_00: You know, if you look in show business, that's the that seems to be the pattern.
26:42
SPEAKER_00: There are some people who should still be going, and it's working out great for Larry David.
26:47
SPEAKER_00: Can you imagine him ever stopping?
26:49
SPEAKER_00: He's just incredible.
26:50
SPEAKER_00: Mel Brooks, you know, incredible.
26:52
SPEAKER_00: Other people won't name names because I'll probably end up meeting them tomorrow and they'll bring this up because this will be through the roof for them.
26:59
SPEAKER_00: Obviously, yes.
27:00
SPEAKER_00: Uh, you know, I'm like, you should have you should have given it, should have given it up, buddy.
27:04
SPEAKER_02: You don't think Jade will tell you?
27:05
SPEAKER_00: Like, hey, you know, it's about no, she because she loves being on stage too.
27:10
SPEAKER_00: So she's in the same boat as me.
27:11
SPEAKER_00: She'll she'll probably keep going past the the time she should have stopped.
27:15
SPEAKER_05: But how much would it really matter to you?
27:16
SPEAKER_05: Like if if other people do see it that way, but you're still having the seats are filled, yeah.
27:20
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
27:21
SPEAKER_00: Right?
27:22
SPEAKER_00: That's the thing.
27:22
SPEAKER_00: As long as and um and I actually I love doing what I'm doing, so as long as as long as I'm able to keep going, if I had a billion dollars, I would just go into a 200-seat room and pay for it, just give them away each night.
27:38
SPEAKER_00: Because I just love doing the show.
27:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
27:40
SPEAKER_00: Um, but I'm in a bigger room than that and we've got lots of bills to pay.
27:44
SPEAKER_00: I get that.
27:44
SPEAKER_00: So as long as the show is making enough money to pay for itself, I'm fine.
27:48
SPEAKER_00: There's a part in the show where Jade does.
27:51
SPEAKER_02: When did you see it?
27:51
SPEAKER_02: It was like a year ago?
27:52
SPEAKER_02: About a year ago, yeah.
27:53
SPEAKER_02: There's a part in the show where Jade jumps and like lands and does a split.
27:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
27:57
SPEAKER_02: Right.
27:58
SPEAKER_02: Is it true that you showed her how to do that?
28:00
SPEAKER_00: Um, it is true.
28:01
SPEAKER_00: I knew it.
28:02
SPEAKER_00: It is true.
28:02
SPEAKER_00: Do you mind?
28:04
SPEAKER_00: I do mind actually.
28:05
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
28:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
28:05
SPEAKER_00: Yep.
28:06
SPEAKER_00: You'll get that when you pay me.
28:07
SPEAKER_00: Right.
28:08
SPEAKER_00: Okay?
28:09
SPEAKER_00: This is pro bono piff.
28:11
SPEAKER_00: There's no splits for you.
28:13
SPEAKER_05: And that's why we got the hoodie, we get no splits, we get card trick.
28:18
SPEAKER_02: No card trick yet, which is good.
28:19
SPEAKER_00: So far, by the way, I get generic purified drinking water from what's this, Costco?
28:24
SPEAKER_00: Is that Kroger?
28:25
SPEAKER_00: No, no, Kroger's of its own store, right?
28:27
SPEAKER_00: Kroger is uh Do you know the amount of microplastics I'm ingesting right now?
28:32
SPEAKER_05: Yep.
28:32
SPEAKER_00: For us.
28:33
SPEAKER_05: I think you're gonna be okay.
28:34
SPEAKER_00: I mean, luckily, my semen is used by nobody.
28:38
SPEAKER_00: So it can have all the microplastics it needs.
28:42
SPEAKER_00: But imagine if that wasn't the case, the damage you were doing to future generations.
28:46
SPEAKER_05: You could have refused.
28:49
SPEAKER_05: You could have said, I don't want your water.
28:50
SPEAKER_00: I could have, I could have thrown it in your face.
28:52
SPEAKER_00: You could have.
28:52
SPEAKER_00: But that's more of a Wayne Newton move or a Matt Franco move.
28:55
SPEAKER_00: That's totally classic Matt.
28:57
SPEAKER_00: That's totally true.
28:58
SPEAKER_05: Actually, when he pushed that kid down the stairs, he actually threw a water bottle right after.
29:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he pushed him into water.
29:03
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, filled with microplastics.
29:04
SPEAKER_00: And there was a live cable in the water, it's dead.
29:07
SPEAKER_00: I saw that.
29:08
SPEAKER_01: My God.
29:08
SPEAKER_01: It's wild.
29:09
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
29:09
SPEAKER_00: How often do you change your act in the show?
29:12
SPEAKER_00: Well, we do two different shows.
29:15
SPEAKER_00: So I don't know whether you know that.
29:16
SPEAKER_00: I don't.
29:17
SPEAKER_00: And actually, we're doing well, we normally do a different show on the road than we do in Vegas.
29:23
SPEAKER_00: Right.
29:23
SPEAKER_00: All different tricks, all different jokes.
29:25
SPEAKER_00: Different dragon.
29:26
SPEAKER_00: Totally different dragon.
29:27
SPEAKER_00: He's from Kentucky.
29:29
SPEAKER_00: He's much friendlier than me.
29:30
SPEAKER_00: Is he nicer?
29:30
SPEAKER_00: He's the Matt Franco of Dragons until he's off stage.
29:33
SPEAKER_00: He's always smiling.
29:34
SPEAKER_00: Then he's just killing children.
29:35
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
29:36
SPEAKER_00: Um, but then this year we're doing three different shows on the road.
29:40
SPEAKER_00: We're doing the PIF, we're doing the solo tour, and then we're doing a variety show where we do have other acts in the show.
29:48
SPEAKER_00: So that's like a part-time show.
29:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm only doing half that show.
29:50
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
29:51
SPEAKER_00: And then we're doing a show with Pop the Magic Dragon, who's played by Pangillette.
29:56
SPEAKER_00: So um that's a totally different show as well.
29:59
SPEAKER_00: And we're only doing that in the UK because we've never done it before.
30:01
SPEAKER_00: Right.
30:01
SPEAKER_00: So we just want to go and practice it, someone that doesn't matter.
30:04
SPEAKER_02: When you're friends, very close with Pendulette, how often do you guys talk about business compared to just random?
30:10
SPEAKER_00: Well, that's I mean, we've we've they discovered me.
30:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
30:14
SPEAKER_00: My whole career is because of them.
30:16
SPEAKER_00: Really?
30:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I did a show called Penitella Fallless in 2011.
30:20
SPEAKER_00: And the object was to fool them when I didn't fool them.
30:23
SPEAKER_00: And I thought, okay, well, I lost.
30:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
30:27
SPEAKER_00: And then it just blew up online.
30:30
SPEAKER_00: And um the production company like uh ushered me out of the venue as soon as I lost.
30:36
SPEAKER_00: So I didn't meet them, and when it aired, they were like, Hey, we love this.
30:40
SPEAKER_00: Can we be friends?
30:42
SPEAKER_00: And so they came to London and I met them, and they just adopted me.
30:46
SPEAKER_00: And they literally said to me, Hey, anything you need.
30:49
SPEAKER_00: Really?
30:49
SPEAKER_00: Anything you need, ask for it.
30:51
SPEAKER_00: Like we're giving you permission.
30:53
SPEAKER_00: And that was a terrible thing to do because I I bothered them every day.
30:57
SPEAKER_02: You took full advantage of that.
30:58
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
30:59
SPEAKER_05: What was the first thing you asked for?
31:00
SPEAKER_05: Do you remember?
31:01
SPEAKER_00: Uh would they I was there, it was what was the next sentence.
31:05
SPEAKER_00: I said, Great, I bought you t-shirts.
31:07
SPEAKER_00: Could you wear these t-shirts so I can take pictures so that I can sell these on on Instagram or whatever it was at the time.
31:14
SPEAKER_02: Did the shirt say clone don't re-home or something like that?
31:17
SPEAKER_00: They were because I didn't have the money to clone at that point.
31:19
SPEAKER_00: I was like you, I was in a studio with furniture I'm still paying for monthly.
31:23
SPEAKER_02: So you're saying in a few years I could be you.
31:26
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, you'll have 19 dogs dotted around.
31:29
SPEAKER_05: Except you're not engaged, so you'll be cleaning up the piss.
31:32
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
31:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
31:33
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's lovely.
31:34
SPEAKER_00: Um you don't have anyone in your life?
31:36
SPEAKER_00: I do.
31:36
SPEAKER_02: I do.
31:37
SPEAKER_00: I I am dating someone, but Oh, you're dating somebody.
31:39
SPEAKER_00: That's a weird thing to do in this country.
31:41
SPEAKER_02: Is it?
31:42
SPEAKER_00: It's so casual.
31:42
SPEAKER_02: How did you meet Jade, by the way?
31:44
SPEAKER_02: You you kind of just jumped straight to the penthouse.
31:46
SPEAKER_02: You didn't tell us how you penthouse?
31:48
SPEAKER_02: Is that what you said?
31:49
SPEAKER_02: You're the ho.
31:51
SPEAKER_05: Did you call it a penthouse?
31:52
SPEAKER_05: I think we called it a penthouse.
31:53
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I thought you called it a penthouse.
31:54
SPEAKER_00: What did you call it?
31:55
SPEAKER_00: Penthouse.
31:56
SPEAKER_05: With an E.
31:57
SPEAKER_05: He's making he's just saying you said.
31:58
SPEAKER_00: Are you saying P-A-N-T?
32:00
SPEAKER_00: No.
32:00
SPEAKER_00: Oh.
32:01
SPEAKER_00: Are you saying Penthouse?
32:01
SPEAKER_00: What do you say?
32:02
SPEAKER_00: Pent.
32:03
SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
32:03
SPEAKER_00: You didn't say that before.
32:04
SPEAKER_00: Did I?
32:05
SPEAKER_00: You said penthouse.
32:06
SPEAKER_02: I'm from Massachusetts, so English isn't my first.
32:09
SPEAKER_00: In Massachusetts.
32:09
SPEAKER_05: They say panthouse?
32:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they do it there.
32:11
SPEAKER_00: Oh very common.
32:13
SPEAKER_00: Very common fact about Massachusetts.
32:16
SPEAKER_05: I didn't know how worldly you are.
32:17
SPEAKER_05: He's very commonly.
32:18
SPEAKER_00: In the UK, pants are underpants, which is the one thing that you were correct about.
32:22
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
32:23
SPEAKER_00: Because most languages, like elevator and lift and all this stuff, you know why change a language that works?
32:28
SPEAKER_00: You did it.
32:28
SPEAKER_00: I don't know why you did that.
32:30
SPEAKER_00: You just made it confusing for me.
32:32
SPEAKER_00: But underpants and pants, you you are correct to call them pants.
32:36
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
32:36
SPEAKER_00: Because we call underwear, we call it underwear, underpants and pants.
32:41
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
32:42
SPEAKER_00: We call boxer shorts pants.
32:43
SPEAKER_00: Doesn't make any sense.
32:44
SPEAKER_00: It sounds so called so much more complicated than it needs to be.
32:46
SPEAKER_00: We call underpants and pants the same thing.
32:49
SPEAKER_05: Why?
32:49
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
32:50
SPEAKER_00: We're wrong.
32:51
SPEAKER_05: If someone said, Hey, will you bring me a pair of underpants?
32:53
SPEAKER_05: How would you know what to bring them?
32:54
SPEAKER_00: Because we'd bring them underpants.
32:55
SPEAKER_05: But if somebody No, but but I thought you just said underpants or are pants.
33:00
SPEAKER_00: Yes, we use the same words.
33:01
SPEAKER_00: So if somebody said, Hey, can I have some underpants?
33:04
SPEAKER_00: We'd bring them underpants.
33:05
SPEAKER_00: If somebody said, Hey, can I have some pants?
33:06
SPEAKER_00: We'd bring them underpants.
33:08
SPEAKER_00: How often do people ask you for underpants?
33:12
SPEAKER_00: Seven or eight times a day.
33:13
SPEAKER_02: When's the last time somebody asks you for underpants?
33:16
SPEAKER_00: I I'm surrounded by people with a lot of bowel issues.
33:20
SPEAKER_00: Clearly.
33:24
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
33:25
SPEAKER_00: A lot of bowel issues.
33:26
SPEAKER_00: Everyone we employ, we ask them, do you have bowel?
33:30
SPEAKER_00: We have a lot of pants to get rid of.
33:32
SPEAKER_00: Sure.
33:33
SPEAKER_02: So the great thing about you being late was Janice showed up early.
33:36
SPEAKER_02: And I'd learned so much.
33:37
SPEAKER_02: She needed to use the bathroom.
33:39
SPEAKER_02: She has a lot of bowel issues.
33:42
SPEAKER_02: I'd learned so much more about you.
33:44
SPEAKER_02: Your deepest, darkest secrets.
33:45
SPEAKER_02: That was fantastic.
33:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was great.
33:47
SPEAKER_00: That's good.
33:47
SPEAKER_00: I'm like a lock vault.
33:49
SPEAKER_00: You don't get much from me.
33:51
SPEAKER_00: You need Janice to come in and do the press why I was late.
33:54
SPEAKER_00: I was giving her time.
33:56
SPEAKER_00: Being kind.
33:57
SPEAKER_00: We appreciate that.
33:58
SPEAKER_00: Providing a service.
33:59
SPEAKER_00: So Jade and the penthouse that you did you guys meet?
34:03
SPEAKER_00: We did a show.
34:05
SPEAKER_00: Um, do you know who Lance Burton is?
34:07
SPEAKER_00: Of course.
34:07
SPEAKER_00: I'll explain.
34:08
SPEAKER_00: I don't know why I said that to you, but I was going to explain it anyway.
34:10
SPEAKER_00: I'm vague.
34:11
SPEAKER_00: I'm looking at the biggest.
34:11
SPEAKER_00: Do you want to explain who Lance Burton is?
34:12
SPEAKER_00: He's a musician.
34:13
SPEAKER_02: Who should he's an incredible magician?
34:15
SPEAKER_02: One of the top 10 magicians in the world.
34:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
34:17
SPEAKER_02: Ever.
34:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he he did 15,000 shows in Vegas, and then he retired like he should.
34:22
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
34:23
SPEAKER_00: Unlike other magicians who are still, you know.
34:26
SPEAKER_05: Name them.
34:27
SPEAKER_05: You really have to.
34:28
SPEAKER_00: I can't name him because I'll see them for breakfast tomorrow.
34:30
SPEAKER_05: Okay, but now they know you're talking about them anyway.
34:32
SPEAKER_05: No, they don't.
34:33
SPEAKER_05: You're gonna see him.
34:33
SPEAKER_00: Because the good thing is there'll be multiple magicians I could be talking about.
34:36
SPEAKER_02: And the good thing is he confused he's the master of illusion and confusion.
34:41
SPEAKER_02: So he can just confuse the hell out of them and they forget what they asked.
34:44
SPEAKER_00: Kind of like but what just happened.
34:45
SPEAKER_00: The Lance retired appropriately.
34:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
34:48
SPEAKER_00: But he was another one that so there were two things that happened.
34:52
SPEAKER_00: One, I did the show Penatilla Foolus, that clip went viral.
34:56
SPEAKER_00: Then, a couple of years later, maybe a year later, a year later, it was a year later, a magician in the Ukraine went on a Russian TV show.
35:06
SPEAKER_00: They were still friends at the time, and he stole my whole act.
35:11
SPEAKER_00: Move for move, shot for shot, beat for beat.
35:14
SPEAKER_00: Really?
35:15
SPEAKER_00: It was incredible.
35:16
SPEAKER_00: And you can Google it.
35:17
SPEAKER_00: He's called Andre, A N D R I, and so there's a clip.
35:21
SPEAKER_00: That's what you could be like.
35:22
SPEAKER_00: Oh, there you go.
35:23
SPEAKER_00: I knew we were getting A-N-D-R-I.
35:26
SPEAKER_00: Google Andre, the epic failed dragon, Piff the Magic Dragon.
35:29
SPEAKER_00: Google those two terms together.
35:31
SPEAKER_00: Um, we did a shot for shot comparison.
35:33
SPEAKER_00: Do you remember when they remade Psycho?
35:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it was like that.
35:36
SPEAKER_00: It was like that.
35:37
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
35:38
SPEAKER_00: The only thing he changed was he was the guinea pig instead of a chihuahua, because he couldn't get hold of a chihuahua, I guess.
35:44
SPEAKER_00: And he also, in his costume, he made little boots instead of because my costume it was all one piece.
35:51
SPEAKER_00: So I was on stage in socks all the time.
35:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
35:54
SPEAKER_00: And he made these boots, and I was like, that's not a bad idea.
35:56
SPEAKER_00: So I stole it from him.
35:59
SPEAKER_00: But he stole this, it was somebody sent me a link to it.
36:03
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I posted it on my socials, and I got on a plane and went to Las Vegas and did a magic convention.
36:09
SPEAKER_00: And when I landed, everyone in Magic knew about this.
36:12
SPEAKER_00: Really?
36:12
SPEAKER_00: Because it went viral again.
36:14
SPEAKER_00: So Lance, that's how I met Lance.
36:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
36:16
SPEAKER_00: And he was like, so him and I bonded and he was amazing.
36:20
SPEAKER_00: And all these great magicians, without fail, took me under their wing of just been nothing but nice to me.
36:27
SPEAKER_00: It's nothing but I if you come to me for mentorship, it's not gonna happen for you.
36:32
SPEAKER_00: Because I feel like there should be an exception to this story, and I'm the exception.
36:36
SPEAKER_00: But every other magician I've met, apart from Matt Franco, um, just like has been super nice to me and has just adopted me.
36:44
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
36:44
SPEAKER_00: And and Lance was the same.
36:46
SPEAKER_00: So Lance, when I came to Vegas to do a show, to do a small part and a big show.
36:52
SPEAKER_00: I signed a ten-year contract, it lasted seven months because the show lost$40 million and crashed and burned.
36:59
SPEAKER_00: So I was broke for a year.
37:03
SPEAKER_00: I had to give up my apartment.
37:05
SPEAKER_00: I moved in with Jade, but wait, we'll get there.
37:07
SPEAKER_00: But when I was broke for a year, Lance rang me up and said, Hey, I've got a gig if you want it.
37:12
SPEAKER_00: Instead of a guest spot in this variety show, and I said, Great, I'm in.
37:17
SPEAKER_00: And I was the male guest spot, and Jade was the female guest spot because she's like a comedian and uh and a variety performer as well.
37:24
SPEAKER_00: So I was in a dressing room with Mr.
37:26
SPEAKER_00: Piffles, and her choreographer was in the dressing room, and her choreographer was also in charge of costume, and she came in um without a bra on because her bra had broken and she needed it fixed, and I was there and she didn't know that.
37:44
SPEAKER_00: So my first impression of her was topless in my dressing room asking for help, and that's that sold it.
37:53
SPEAKER_00: I was like I would have fallen in love too.
37:56
SPEAKER_00: I'm in, yeah, I'm in for the long haul.
37:58
SPEAKER_00: And so I asked her for a number, and she thought that swap number is because we can give each other gigs, and that was I I had no professional reason to ask for the number.
38:11
SPEAKER_00: I just wanted to um make it happen with Jade and I.
38:15
SPEAKER_00: And so I just pursued her relentlessly, and um I went on a couple of dates with her, found out she had a penthouse at the Palms Place.
38:24
SPEAKER_00: I was living in my friend's garage, thought, hang on a second, I could move in here over six weeks and I could be living here myself.
38:32
SPEAKER_00: So I did that, and luckily for her, my plan of trying to get a show in Las Vegas worked out so well, she ended up being my co-star in the show, but she didn't know that at the time, so she just um took pity on this broke English dragon and his homeless dog, and um and she was great, we were together ever since.
38:55
SPEAKER_02: I mean, you guys you guys are a great team.
38:57
SPEAKER_02: You guys are very much your chemistry, I feel like, is off the charts.
39:03
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, she like you know, it took her it took us a long time to figure out a place in the show, but if when it clicked, it really clicked, and now she's fantastic in the show.
39:11
SPEAKER_00: People love her.
39:12
SPEAKER_02: You've had obviously you've had a lot of luck in a lot of people.
39:17
SPEAKER_02: Why would you open with that?
39:19
SPEAKER_05: Because now like open, we've been going for like 40 minutes.
39:22
SPEAKER_02: I'm not even going off script here.
39:23
SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm just kind of winged.
39:25
SPEAKER_00: Good, because if you'd have written that down, I'd have felt worse.
39:27
SPEAKER_05: No, not a single thing that's been written down has been talked about.
39:30
SPEAKER_00: That comment, I would have felt much worse.
39:32
SPEAKER_00: You had a lot of luck.
39:36
SPEAKER_00: Imagine you have Mr.
39:38
SPEAKER_00: Beast here.
39:40
SPEAKER_00: Imagine you have Obama here.
39:46
SPEAKER_00: You open with let's say you're open.
39:48
SPEAKER_00: You have you to get here, the stars have aligned.
39:51
SPEAKER_00: Like like no one could imagine.
39:55
SPEAKER_00: Somehow you've ended up here.
39:57
SPEAKER_00: Where are these these Amazon specials?
40:00
SPEAKER_00: Prime there's a prime sale, probably more than like.
40:03
SPEAKER_00: I like the fact it comes down because we have them where they go up and they just flop.
40:07
SPEAKER_00: You sit at the desk though, right?
40:09
SPEAKER_00: I do, but the guests don't.
40:10
SPEAKER_00: I have a different microphone.
40:11
SPEAKER_00: You have a different couch?
40:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
40:12
SPEAKER_00: I have a different I don't even have a couch.
40:15
SPEAKER_02: Where do they sit?
40:15
SPEAKER_00: We have single seaters like this one.
40:18
SPEAKER_00: Why?
40:19
SPEAKER_00: Uh we don't like having that many people on at the time.
40:21
SPEAKER_02: Is it too too hard to manage the conversation?
40:23
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
40:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
40:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
40:25
SPEAKER_02: You've had a lot of talent.
40:27
SPEAKER_00: I don't like being where you are.
40:29
SPEAKER_00: Why don't you like this?
40:31
SPEAKER_00: Because right now I can just do or say anything I like.
40:34
SPEAKER_00: Of course.
40:34
SPEAKER_00: And I have no um, I owe you nothing.
40:38
SPEAKER_00: You don't need to navigate through the show.
40:40
SPEAKER_00: I came here, you didn't pay me, you gave me so many microplastics.
40:47
SPEAKER_00: And so anything I give is a bonus.
40:51
SPEAKER_00: Whereas if I was in your position, you have a duty to me, which you're not filling in any way, shape, or form.
40:57
SPEAKER_00: You're not.
40:58
SPEAKER_00: We had a bargain.
40:59
SPEAKER_00: Am I not fulfilling your expectations?
41:01
SPEAKER_02: Have you offered me food?
41:03
SPEAKER_02: Brandon, can you get those peanuts from my office real quick?
41:05
SPEAKER_05: Half eaten.
41:06
SPEAKER_02: Half eaten.
41:07
SPEAKER_02: The open bag.
41:09
SPEAKER_00: Okay, though.
41:10
SPEAKER_00: Now you're fulfilling your obligation.
41:11
SPEAKER_02: We're working towards it.
41:13
SPEAKER_00: Um, but I you know, it's just that you owe me more than I owe you, and I don't like being in that situation.
41:19
SPEAKER_00: On the podcast, I owe people more than they owe me by being there, and it's it's unsettling.
41:24
SPEAKER_02: Is it harder to run a podcast episode than it is to run a show at the flamingo?
41:30
SPEAKER_00: Yes, because we've done it 1500 times at the flamingo.
41:33
SPEAKER_00: We've actually done it over 2,000 times.
41:35
SPEAKER_00: Right.
41:35
SPEAKER_00: But we changed the show at some point.
41:37
SPEAKER_00: But um, but when I was doing when I started, and I would do like Pen and Tela Foolus or America's Got Talent, I can be, I'm a guest on their show.
41:47
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
41:47
SPEAKER_00: So I can be as like dismissive as I want.
41:49
SPEAKER_00: Like, look at this, you know.
41:51
SPEAKER_00: You guys thought this was a good idea.
41:52
SPEAKER_00: When it's your own show, yeah, and you said, hey, everyone, you should come at seven o'clock six nights a week to the flamingo, and I'd like to charge you a lot of money to do so, you better have something thought through to give them.
42:06
SPEAKER_00: That's a whole different situation.
42:08
SPEAKER_00: So when you're on As you're finding out, when you're very much so.
42:11
SPEAKER_00: When you're on Penn and Teller or you're on AGT, you know, why don't you get unbranded water?
42:15
SPEAKER_00: You could have got because now you're gonna be like now you're gonna you're gonna have to blur out the water bottles, and I'm moving them around.
42:21
SPEAKER_00: It's not like a static shop where you can just put the mask on the bottom.
42:25
SPEAKER_02: Somehow the post-production of this episode is becoming more and more expensive with everyone.
42:30
SPEAKER_05: We're gonna send it to your team with all the requests.
42:33
SPEAKER_00: My team is so overworked, they have a lot of bowel issues.
42:36
SPEAKER_00: They're really that's when they can't be.
42:39
SPEAKER_00: What are you feeding them?
42:40
SPEAKER_00: Mostly half-eaten peanuts.
42:42
SPEAKER_00: That sounds about right.
42:43
SPEAKER_00: I I truth I baby bird them to my staff.
42:45
SPEAKER_00: I baby bird peanuts to my staff.
42:47
SPEAKER_00: It's the only food they get.
42:49
SPEAKER_05: It's the the baby birded peanuts and the microplastics.
42:52
SPEAKER_00: Every Friday they line up and that's their wages, baby birded peanuts.
42:56
SPEAKER_00: And that's why she's been with me for two years.
42:59
SPEAKER_00: I love that.
42:59
SPEAKER_00: When she turned up here, she did.
43:01
SPEAKER_05: She said, before he gets here, let me tell you about the way he treats us.
43:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he baby birds his peanuts.
43:05
SPEAKER_00: She said that as a good thing, though, right?
43:07
SPEAKER_00: Yes, she does it.
43:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, obviously.
43:08
SPEAKER_00: She wants more.
43:09
SPEAKER_00: Clearly.
43:09
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
43:10
SPEAKER_00: Um that's how Jade and I got together.
43:14
SPEAKER_00: I babybirded her peanuts.
43:16
SPEAKER_05: You came in topless and said, Help me.
43:18
SPEAKER_05: And you said, I've got you.
43:19
SPEAKER_05: I got some peanuts.
43:20
SPEAKER_00: Open your mouth and I'll do anything I can to live in your house.
43:23
SPEAKER_00: Just I just want to swim in your face.
43:25
SPEAKER_00: But you know, she's a real trooper.
43:27
SPEAKER_00: I mean, like, she's never missed a show.
43:29
SPEAKER_00: Can you believe that?
43:29
SPEAKER_00: I can't believe that.
43:30
SPEAKER_00: She's never missed a show.
43:31
SPEAKER_00: Have you missed a show?
43:33
SPEAKER_00: Um, yes.
43:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, one time, uh, I hate what's that awful airline?
43:39
SPEAKER_00: Jet, no, not Jet Suite, not Jet Blue, Jet Suite X.
43:42
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
43:42
SPEAKER_00: I hate them so much because I don't like talking to people on aeroplanes.
43:48
SPEAKER_00: And I flew three times, and every time I flew, the CEO was on the flight asking for comments.
43:54
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, buddy, if I wanted to speak to people, I'd be on Southwest.
43:59
SPEAKER_00: If I Wanted to hear somebody do amusing, over-the-air announcements about lost wages, I'd be on Southwest.
44:06
SPEAKER_00: I don't want that.
44:07
SPEAKER_00: I want to be left alone to my half-eaten peanuts so I can steal as many as I can so I don't have to pay the wages this week.
44:15
SPEAKER_02: You're brilliant.
44:16
SPEAKER_02: I don't you have the show-based talent and you have the smarts that go with it.
44:19
SPEAKER_00: That's how I got where I am today.
44:21
SPEAKER_00: Clearly.
44:21
SPEAKER_00: My stealing peanuts that I babybirded to Janice.
44:25
SPEAKER_04: And a lot of luck.
44:26
SPEAKER_00: And a lot of luck.
44:28
SPEAKER_04: And a lot of luck.
44:29
SPEAKER_00: A lot of luck.
44:30
SPEAKER_00: So let's talk about the luck.
44:31
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I've had a lot of luck to get where I am today.
44:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
44:34
SPEAKER_02: But also, obviously the skill.
44:36
SPEAKER_00: Also the skill.
44:37
SPEAKER_00: The talent.
44:38
SPEAKER_00: But really, in very small, in very, very small portions.
44:42
SPEAKER_00: Enough to rightly insinuate.
44:45
SPEAKER_00: Mostly luck.
44:47
SPEAKER_00: Mostly a lot of luck.
44:49
SPEAKER_00: Enough talent for somebody.
44:51
SPEAKER_00: Just enough.
44:52
SPEAKER_00: Enough.
44:53
SPEAKER_00: Enough to top it up.
44:54
SPEAKER_00: Just enough.
44:55
SPEAKER_00: Just enough.
44:56
SPEAKER_00: Not too much.
44:57
SPEAKER_00: Not a significant amount.
44:59
SPEAKER_00: Just enough.
45:00
SPEAKER_05: Truly, I will say, your comedic timing is so great.
45:04
SPEAKER_05: I mean, obviously, I know it's part of what you do for work.
45:06
SPEAKER_05: His snarkiness.
45:07
SPEAKER_00: It's not significant, it's enough.
45:09
SPEAKER_00: How was Piff?
45:10
SPEAKER_00: That was enough.
45:12
SPEAKER_00: We got what we needed.
45:13
SPEAKER_02: He was very lucky.
45:14
SPEAKER_02: He got lucky.
45:16
SPEAKER_02: And I'll tell you what, during your show, you're very quick-witted to the guests and the people you have on, even the people in the audience, which I love.
45:23
SPEAKER_02: I love that you're snarky back at them.
45:26
SPEAKER_02: Like I I that's your tricks are great.
45:29
SPEAKER_00: Here's the deal.
45:31
SPEAKER_00: When I started doing magic, um, I did close-up magic in restaurants, bars, corporate dinners, bar mitzvahs, weddings, that sort of thing.
45:42
SPEAKER_00: And you do the same thing, same eight to ten minutes, because you have to do the best material you have because they've never seen you before, and probably never gonna see you again.
45:51
SPEAKER_00: So I did the same eight to ten minutes 15 times a night, five nights a week, for like eight years.
45:59
SPEAKER_00: I was over it.
46:01
SPEAKER_00: So I was doing things to keep myself interested, and I would make snarky comments.
46:06
SPEAKER_00: But when you're a dick in the dragon outfit, it's hilarious.
46:08
SPEAKER_00: Everyone loves it because you can't punch down because you're in a dragon outfit.
46:12
SPEAKER_05: You already had the dragon outfit at this time.
46:15
SPEAKER_05: No, okay.
46:16
SPEAKER_00: No, no, it was awful.
46:19
SPEAKER_00: I got fired everywhere I went.
46:22
SPEAKER_00: I upset people, I made people cry.
46:26
SPEAKER_00: I was the worst magician you could ever hire for a gig.
46:28
SPEAKER_00: And this was this was trying my best, I couldn't help myself.
46:33
SPEAKER_00: You know, these situations would come up.
46:35
SPEAKER_00: This couple, I walked up to a table and said, Hi, do you want to see some magic?
46:39
SPEAKER_00: And the guy said, My wife has just asked me for a divorce.
46:43
SPEAKER_00: Do you really think I want to see some fucking magic?
46:45
SPEAKER_00: And I said, No, because I guess she just made half your house disappear.
46:50
SPEAKER_00: And I was fired immediately from that restaurant.
46:55
SPEAKER_00: In retrospect, at the time, no, everyone was upset.
46:59
SPEAKER_02: So, Andre the magician is stealing your act.
47:03
SPEAKER_02: The epic fail dragon.
47:04
SPEAKER_02: The epic failed dragon.
47:05
SPEAKER_00: Well, okay, wait, that was when I became a dragon.
47:07
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so where did the dragon thing come from?
47:09
SPEAKER_00: I went to a costume party, my friends had a great friends had a costume party, and I walked across London to get there, and I said to Mrs.
47:16
SPEAKER_00: I don't have anything to wear to this costume party.
47:19
SPEAKER_00: It was a Christmas theme, and she said, I've got a dragon outfit under my bed, and I didn't ask any more questions, and I still don't want to know why.
47:27
SPEAKER_00: I said, Great.
47:28
SPEAKER_05: You went to a Christmas costume party dressed as a dragon?
47:31
SPEAKER_00: In a soiled dragon outfit.
47:32
SPEAKER_00: Soiled it had been used.
47:35
SPEAKER_00: And um I walked in and no one's in costume.
47:40
SPEAKER_00: No one was in costume.
47:41
SPEAKER_00: That's awesome.
47:42
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, and so the stupid thing was everyone kept saying to me, What are you supposed to be?
47:51
SPEAKER_00: Because I was because I was a rain dragon, because I painted my nose red and had antlers.
47:55
SPEAKER_00: I was like one of Santa's dragons.
47:58
SPEAKER_00: And they were like, What?
47:59
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, What do you mean what?
48:00
SPEAKER_00: You're supposed to be in costume, dickhead.
48:02
SPEAKER_00: You didn't make any effort, I made all the effort, and you haven't got me.
48:06
SPEAKER_00: And my friend said to me, You should do this in your act.
48:09
SPEAKER_00: You could be puffed the magic dragon.
48:11
SPEAKER_00: And I went, wait, I could be pivot the magic dragon.
48:15
SPEAKER_00: You might have heard of my older brother, Steve.
48:18
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, that is good enough to try.
48:21
SPEAKER_00: It took me about eight months to work up the courage to try it.
48:24
SPEAKER_00: But I did it.
48:25
SPEAKER_00: I walked on stage, I did it, and you know, it wasn't good, but it was like something.
48:31
SPEAKER_00: And I one thing that I have, as well as luck, which I have abundant the abundance of.
48:36
SPEAKER_00: Clearly, yes.
48:37
SPEAKER_00: I have a slither of knowing when things, you know, when I have a good idea.
48:42
SPEAKER_00: I don't have many good ideas, but on the very rare occasion I do, I realize it's a good one and I cling to it like a lifeboat.
48:50
SPEAKER_05: What about that moment made you realize it was a good idea?
48:52
SPEAKER_00: Just something in me click so something about the cost like being in there and all these people having a go at me and me being outraged.
48:59
SPEAKER_00: And like I was drink, I you I was still drinking at the time, so I was drinking like red wine, and you know, I just thought that's a funny image.
49:06
SPEAKER_00: And then when I did it for the first time, before I got to the microphone, people were just laughing.
49:11
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, so people got it like immediately, they knew why it was funny.
49:14
SPEAKER_00: Well, because it was funny, it was like a I mean, it was a dumb dragon, it's a dumb now.
49:19
SPEAKER_00: It's a much more polished, practical dragon outfit.
49:22
SPEAKER_00: But at the time it didn't even fit, so I couldn't stand up straight in it.
49:25
SPEAKER_04: Is it a similar design or no?
49:27
SPEAKER_00: It was no, it was really shitty.
49:29
SPEAKER_00: And it was made from like that outdoor tent material, so I was so hot inside this dragon.
49:35
SPEAKER_00: I was just like, I was like bright red and like pouring with sweat, and it was just funny.
49:41
SPEAKER_00: It was funny as soon as I got up, and I was just like, this is what I do in my life now.
49:44
SPEAKER_00: And I knew it.
49:45
SPEAKER_00: Is this custom made?
49:47
SPEAKER_00: Well, what do you think?
49:49
SPEAKER_00: Can you figure that out by yourself?
49:50
SPEAKER_00: Because if you're gonna get anywhere in this business, basic bitch questions like that is where you need to start.
49:55
SPEAKER_02: Because it's gonna lead me to my next question.
49:57
SPEAKER_00: What do you think?
49:57
SPEAKER_00: It's got the same diamonds on as my costume, it's got spikes on, I'm wearing it.
50:02
SPEAKER_00: You've never seen one before.
50:04
SPEAKER_00: What do you think?
50:04
SPEAKER_00: Is it custom made?
50:05
SPEAKER_00: I thought maybe you got it off Gumtree.
50:07
SPEAKER_00: Maybe it was one of those things.
50:08
SPEAKER_00: I you need to find a new one.
50:10
SPEAKER_00: Maybe it was like this guy's bringing you.
50:11
SPEAKER_00: It could have been fan hard.
50:13
SPEAKER_00: He's not taking you to the top.
50:15
SPEAKER_05: Well, unfortunately, he's my boss.
50:17
SPEAKER_00: So funny how that works.
50:18
SPEAKER_00: Do you get paid for this?
50:19
SPEAKER_05: I do.
50:20
SPEAKER_00: Well, that's something at least.
50:21
SPEAKER_00: Somebody's getting paid for this.
50:22
SPEAKER_00: And I would just use the paycheck to get to the next.
50:24
SPEAKER_00: Don't rely on it.
50:25
SPEAKER_00: Don't think it's gonna be around for a while.
50:27
SPEAKER_00: How many suits do you have?
50:30
SPEAKER_00: Um about 12, but only like three or four in circulation I could wear.
50:36
SPEAKER_00: Most of them I wear them out and then I get a new one.
50:39
SPEAKER_00: I wear them longer than I should.
50:40
SPEAKER_02: That sounds about right.
50:41
SPEAKER_00: There's about six months where I was like, we should really not be wearing this.
50:44
SPEAKER_00: You wear them out in public.
50:45
SPEAKER_00: I've seen you on the strip wearing them.
50:47
SPEAKER_02: Like, you have clips of just out and about with the club.
50:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I wear them um whenever I do my act.
50:50
SPEAKER_00: I don't know whether you put those two facts together.
50:54
SPEAKER_00: I I wear that when I'm Pythonic Dragon.
50:57
SPEAKER_00: That's why I'm Python Magic Dragon.
51:00
SPEAKER_02: How much can you tell me about the inner magic circle?
51:03
SPEAKER_00: How much should I tell you?
51:04
SPEAKER_02: I want to know about the inner magic circle, but I don't want you to get in trouble.
51:07
SPEAKER_00: It's just pearls before swine.
51:09
SPEAKER_00: That's what the episode should be called.
51:11
SPEAKER_00: Not you, you're fantastic.
51:12
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
51:13
SPEAKER_00: She's lovely.
51:13
SPEAKER_00: You've come along with some research that you've done of your own.
51:16
SPEAKER_00: You're ready to Google any fact.
51:17
SPEAKER_00: Did you find out anything about the the epic failed dragon?
51:20
SPEAKER_05: I did.
51:20
SPEAKER_05: Can I read you exactly what it says?
51:22
SPEAKER_05: Because it really did make me.
51:23
SPEAKER_00: This is what you're paying for.
51:25
SPEAKER_05: He knows what he's getting.
51:27
SPEAKER_05: In 2012, Piff the Magic Dragon posted about a Russian magician who had ripped off his.
51:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's it.
51:36
SPEAKER_00: I didn't want to click on an article.
51:37
SPEAKER_00: Is that the problem with AI?
51:38
SPEAKER_00: Is that everyone's just believing in just eluding?
51:41
SPEAKER_05: I agree.
51:42
SPEAKER_05: That is it is a huge problem with it.
51:44
SPEAKER_05: But I can't.
51:44
SPEAKER_00: I don't mind like can I read you this one sentence?
51:50
SPEAKER_05: You're gonna like triple check.
51:52
SPEAKER_00: But this is just when you just Google something, you and it's like it's like, hey, why don't you why don't you I just give you this made up bullshit instead of the facts?
51:59
SPEAKER_05: Well, it really doesn't give you a choice, either.
52:01
SPEAKER_00: No, it doesn't, it's insane.
52:02
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so so the Ukrainian.
52:05
SPEAKER_05: But this is my favorite sentence.
52:06
SPEAKER_05: It says Piff put him on blast on social media.
52:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, put him on blast, like you know the thing I I respect this guy for so many reasons.
52:17
SPEAKER_00: I respect him from ripping the whole thing off.
52:19
SPEAKER_00: Because if he did if he'd have done like a magic panda or whatever, it would have been a nightmare.
52:24
SPEAKER_00: Because then I'd have been like, oh, you kind of some idea.
52:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he took everything, so it was so clear that he took it, but then a year later he decided that it would be a really good idea for him to say that he came up with the idea first, and which is sort of like very that's the age we're living in now.
52:41
SPEAKER_00: Deny everything, admit blame, never.
52:45
SPEAKER_00: Um, and he was really ahead of that curve.
52:48
SPEAKER_02: I heard he changed his name to Pat Franco.
52:50
SPEAKER_02: How do you feel about that?
52:51
SPEAKER_02: He did.
52:52
SPEAKER_02: I'm okay with that.
52:52
SPEAKER_02: You're cool with that?
52:53
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
52:53
SPEAKER_05: Do you think Matt's okay with it?
52:54
SPEAKER_00: I just think Matt shouldn't be in show business if he's gonna electrocute children.
52:58
SPEAKER_05: I mean, do you he could make a whole show out of that?
53:00
SPEAKER_05: Somebody would watch.
53:01
SPEAKER_00: Like children dying nightly, just so Matt Franco can push them down the stairs for for kicks.
53:07
SPEAKER_00: Listen, here's the here's the the dilemma that I'm in right now.
53:10
SPEAKER_00: How much of this is usable?
53:11
SPEAKER_00: Is that the dilemma?
53:12
SPEAKER_00: It's all usable.
53:13
SPEAKER_00: This is all usable.
53:14
SPEAKER_02: This is gonna be an eight-minute episode.
53:15
SPEAKER_02: This is gonna be one of our best episodes.
53:17
SPEAKER_02: I forgot to turn on this light here.
53:19
SPEAKER_02: My my angle still looks great, but I know that if I turn it on now, you're gonna shit on me so badly for the rest of the episode.
53:25
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think you know what?
53:27
SPEAKER_00: You can turn it on we because the thing is, there's there's better things I can shit on you for because there's so much to shit on you for.
53:34
SPEAKER_00: I mean, first of all, your outfit.
53:36
SPEAKER_00: You're this is you're actually putting this on air and this is the outfit.
53:39
SPEAKER_00: It's like you just rolled off a pool lounger.
53:41
SPEAKER_00: It's like you've been at the circus circus pool.
53:44
SPEAKER_00: This do they even have a pool?
53:46
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
53:47
SPEAKER_00: Uh, I think that's the where the kid from the.
53:49
SPEAKER_00: You look like you're on vacation with your nine children.
53:53
SPEAKER_05: And 15 dogs.
53:54
SPEAKER_00: And 15 dogs.
53:55
SPEAKER_00: You're you're put together.
53:57
SPEAKER_00: You have a business appropriate outfit.
54:00
SPEAKER_00: Just what are you even wearing?
54:01
SPEAKER_00: Where'd you get that shirt from?
54:02
SPEAKER_00: Krogus?
54:04
SPEAKER_00: With the water?
54:05
SPEAKER_00: Did it come with the water?
54:06
SPEAKER_02: A free shirt with a six pack of water.
54:08
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it worked out great for me.
54:09
SPEAKER_02: Jeez.
54:10
SPEAKER_02: How much can you tell me about the inner magic circle club without getting into it?
54:13
SPEAKER_02: Well, you don't even know what it's called.
54:14
SPEAKER_02: Inner magic circle with gold stars, what you're doing.
54:17
SPEAKER_00: Okay, you don't know what you don't you have no idea what you're talking about.
54:19
SPEAKER_00: You didn't know exactly what I've done.
54:20
SPEAKER_00: You haven't researched enough for this.
54:22
SPEAKER_00: You know, you haven't researched enough for this question.
54:25
SPEAKER_00: This was AI, apparently.
54:26
SPEAKER_00: It's not called the inner magic circle club.
54:28
SPEAKER_00: Yes, it is.
54:28
SPEAKER_00: It's not there's no club.
54:29
SPEAKER_00: It's a member of the inner magic circle.
54:31
SPEAKER_00: No, we're not.
54:32
SPEAKER_00: The club is called the magic circle.
54:34
SPEAKER_05: That's the But you're a part of the inner magic circle.
54:37
SPEAKER_00: Part of the club is called the inner magic circle.
54:40
SPEAKER_00: And I'm a member of the inner magic circle, which is different from being in the inner magic circle.
54:45
SPEAKER_05: But we don't really get what either of them are.
54:52
SPEAKER_05: But can you explain it?
54:53
SPEAKER_05: Because I was recently.
54:54
SPEAKER_05: I was on their website.
54:55
SPEAKER_00: I can't.
54:56
SPEAKER_05: You can't explain it.
54:57
SPEAKER_00: You really can't, right?
54:58
SPEAKER_00: No, we we can explain everything apart from how tricks work.
55:01
SPEAKER_05: Well, I don't want to know how the tricks work.
55:02
SPEAKER_05: I don't.
55:05
SPEAKER_00: It's awful.
55:05
SPEAKER_00: When you find out, I was so upset when I found out how tricks work.
55:09
SPEAKER_00: The only reason I stuck it through is because I remember what it was like when I saw a magic and didn't know how it worked, and that feeling is why I love doing the job because I get to give that feeling to others.
55:20
SPEAKER_00: Right.
55:21
SPEAKER_00: But it's everything about the job is awful.
55:24
SPEAKER_00: It's just like you're trying to do things that are not possible.
55:27
SPEAKER_00: You're spending tens of thousands of dollars doing that.
55:30
SPEAKER_00: You need a staff of hundreds, all with bow problems.
55:33
SPEAKER_00: All of them.
55:34
SPEAKER_00: It's it's just a awakening night every day.
55:38
SPEAKER_00: What's your plumbing situation at your office?
55:40
SPEAKER_00: Free flowing.
55:41
SPEAKER_00: Well, I I house most of them at the flamingo, so they become so it becomes their problem.
55:46
SPEAKER_00: That sounds like a flamingo problem.
55:48
SPEAKER_00: But there's lots of blockages.
55:50
SPEAKER_00: Lots of blockages.
55:53
SPEAKER_00: It's just uh it's just an open hole now.
55:56
SPEAKER_00: Listen, I'm looking at this the most reliable.
55:58
SPEAKER_00: You have a list?
55:59
SPEAKER_02: I mean, how I imagine it's a lot of people.
56:01
SPEAKER_00: I all as poorly restored as the inner magic circle club.
56:05
SPEAKER_00: Jeez.
56:06
SPEAKER_00: I don't even know where to know where to jump in.
56:08
SPEAKER_00: He he googled that.
56:09
SPEAKER_00: AI came up, he didn't even know.
56:12
SPEAKER_05: Here's what actually happened, if you want the insight.
56:14
SPEAKER_05: I give him a beautiful spreadsheet rundown with here's the context, here are potential questions you can ask.
56:20
SPEAKER_00: When does he look it?
56:21
SPEAKER_05: And then he goes in and then when he puts it together, he changes my wording.
56:25
SPEAKER_05: And that's how stuff like this happens.
56:26
SPEAKER_00: Funny how that works.
56:27
SPEAKER_05: Jeez.
56:29
SPEAKER_00: What are you wearing on your feet?
56:30
SPEAKER_00: I didn't see your feet.
56:31
SPEAKER_00: You got flip-flops on?
56:32
SPEAKER_05: Probably tennis shoes.
56:33
SPEAKER_05: I got some Air Force.
56:34
SPEAKER_00: Okay, at least you got shoes on.
56:35
SPEAKER_00: I'm wearing the green in honor of Steve.
56:38
SPEAKER_00: You're wearing no, you're not.
56:39
SPEAKER_00: No, I'm not wearing honors.
56:41
SPEAKER_05: What kind of shoes do you wear under the dragon outfit?
56:43
SPEAKER_00: They are uh sketchers.
56:45
SPEAKER_00: Sketchers.
56:46
SPEAKER_00: And they are sewn in to dragon feet.
56:49
SPEAKER_00: Are they really?
56:50
SPEAKER_05: Like uh just like kind of like a sports mascot, how they have the shoes.
56:53
SPEAKER_05: Exactly.
56:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
56:56
SPEAKER_00: Regular shoes in in a dragon uh coating.
57:00
SPEAKER_02: I'd normally ask if those were custom made, but I'm afraid to get yelled at.
57:03
SPEAKER_00: What would be?
57:04
SPEAKER_00: No, but you can figure this out.
57:05
SPEAKER_00: No, but you can figure well you wouldn't normally ask.
57:07
SPEAKER_00: If you would not if I explained to you that I was wearing a pair of regular skimps, and you said are they custom made, that would be insane.
57:16
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
57:16
SPEAKER_00: Anger.
57:16
SPEAKER_05: To be fair, a lot of sporting mascots do have their shoes cut to me.
57:21
SPEAKER_05: But they're also flipping.
57:22
SPEAKER_00: After I just explained how the shoes were made and clarified they were a pair of sketches in conjunction with some custom made outer layer, and you still said are the sketches custom made?
57:39
SPEAKER_00: What are we doing?
57:39
SPEAKER_00: Do you sh just give up?
57:41
SPEAKER_00: Are you watching the World Cup right now?
57:44
SPEAKER_00: No.
57:44
SPEAKER_00: Really?
57:45
SPEAKER_05: Do you care about sports?
57:46
SPEAKER_02: I don't I like some sports, but not football.
57:48
SPEAKER_02: How do you feel about Vegas not only becoming an entertainment cabinet, but now you don't like it?
57:54
SPEAKER_00: Why?
57:54
SPEAKER_00: No, because it's Vegas was special.
57:57
SPEAKER_00: Vegas used to have the thing that nobody else had, you know, and as a result, it didn't have the things that everyone else had.
58:05
SPEAKER_00: So no one would come to Vegas, you know, for the things they had in their town.
58:09
SPEAKER_00: That's the whole point.
58:10
SPEAKER_00: And now we have everything.
58:13
SPEAKER_00: They built another, they added a hundred thousand tickets to Vegas.
58:18
SPEAKER_00: That's insane.
58:19
SPEAKER_00: What do you mean?
58:20
SPEAKER_02: What do you mean they added a hundred thousand tickets?
58:21
SPEAKER_00: Uh there's sixty thousand tickets at the um at the Allegiant, there's eighteen thousand at the sphere, there's another um, what is it, like eighteen thousand, sixteen thousand at the T-Mobile Arena, and then plus you have the hotels in the last few years, another hundred thousand possible seats every night that you could buy tickets for.
58:43
SPEAKER_00: Doesn't that help you though?
58:44
SPEAKER_05: Who?
58:45
SPEAKER_05: Not if they're going to him, not if his show.
58:46
SPEAKER_00: I can't talk about it.
58:47
SPEAKER_00: They're in Vegas.
58:49
SPEAKER_02: You're bringing people from outside of Vegas.
58:51
SPEAKER_02: I don't get the revenue from Allegiance Stadium.
58:53
SPEAKER_02: I understand that, but so why would it help me?
58:55
SPEAKER_02: Because more people are in Vegas with other things to do, not only just going to the Can you just think that plan through for a minute?
59:02
SPEAKER_00: For a minute.
59:03
SPEAKER_00: Just for a minute.
59:04
SPEAKER_00: Can you think that and realize?
59:06
SPEAKER_00: Walk me through this.
59:07
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so first of all, they're spending fortunes.
59:10
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
59:10
SPEAKER_00: They're spending fortunes to come to Vegas for a reason they didn't have before.
59:15
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
59:15
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
59:16
SPEAKER_00: So it wasn't like they were coming to Vegas, they're not coming to Vegas to see shows, right?
59:20
SPEAKER_00: You know, and like gamble.
59:22
SPEAKER_00: They're coming to Vegas to see BTS.
59:24
SPEAKER_00: Sure.
59:24
SPEAKER_00: So they're probably not going to do anything else when they're in Vegas.
59:27
SPEAKER_02: You don't think so?
59:27
SPEAKER_00: Well, BTS is expensive.
59:29
SPEAKER_00: That is true.
59:30
SPEAKER_00: Right?
59:30
SPEAKER_00: And plus the hotel, and it's expensive because everyone's a hundred thousand people are here now.
59:35
SPEAKER_00: So they're coming, so it's already expensive.
59:37
SPEAKER_00: Then you're now competing with all the people that used to be the A thing to do.
59:42
SPEAKER_00: So the silly, let me break it to you.
59:44
SPEAKER_00: Magic Dragon, not often the A thing to do for most people who come to Vegas.
59:50
SPEAKER_00: Great B thing, great C thing.
59:52
SPEAKER_00: Hey, while we're here, let's also go see Piff.
59:54
SPEAKER_00: Great.
59:56
SPEAKER_00: Exactly what I was imagining.
59:56
SPEAKER_00: But now I'm bumped down that list in the pecking order.
1:00:00
SPEAKER_00: Right?
1:00:01
SPEAKER_00: Because the B thing might be go to the sphere.
1:00:05
SPEAKER_00: The sphere is two billion dollars out over budget.
1:00:09
SPEAKER_00: Imagine if my show was two billion dollars over budget.
1:00:13
SPEAKER_00: You know what that would mean?
1:00:15
SPEAKER_00: It would mean a billboard every three seconds saying you should go and see Piff the Magic Dragon.
1:00:21
SPEAKER_00: Every that's two billion dollars.
1:00:24
SPEAKER_00: They got to be two billion dollars over budget, and all they face as consequences is more money to sell the ticket because they need to get something back.
1:00:34
SPEAKER_01: Of course.
1:00:35
SPEAKER_00: Right?
1:00:35
SPEAKER_00: So that's the B thing.
1:00:37
SPEAKER_00: Is a shot is a is an attraction that has two billion dollars more money than it should.
1:00:43
SPEAKER_00: Certesole and selling their tickets to O for 50 bucks.
1:00:47
SPEAKER_00: They used to be$200 to O.
1:00:50
SPEAKER_00: Now they're$50.
1:00:51
SPEAKER_00: That's what all this shit has done to Las Vegas.
1:00:55
SPEAKER_00: Now we're very lucky in that we're we're like maintaining what we've done over the years, but we're not enough to we're not growing.
1:01:04
SPEAKER_00: We'd love to be growing.
1:01:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:01:05
SPEAKER_00: Because then we can do more and more magic dragon shit.
1:01:08
SPEAKER_00: And that's what you really want.
1:01:10
SPEAKER_00: You want us to have a blank checkbook to come up with more magic dragon shit.
1:01:15
SPEAKER_00: We want 19 clone chihuahuas in the show, juggling.
1:01:18
SPEAKER_00: We want somebody juggling 19 clone chihuahuas.
1:01:21
SPEAKER_05: Here's what I think though.
1:01:21
SPEAKER_00: Instead of someone juggling the chihuahuas, yeah.
1:01:24
SPEAKER_05: Instead of 19 clones, what if you got different kinds of dogs to go with the clone?
1:01:29
SPEAKER_00: Well, that would be fine.
1:01:30
SPEAKER_05: And then you could do different shows based on what dog you want to.
1:01:33
SPEAKER_00: That would be fine because we'd have the money to change out the marketing material.
1:01:37
SPEAKER_00: Right.
1:01:37
SPEAKER_00: The issue at the moment is if we have a different dog, it doesn't match the one on the poster, people complain.
1:01:43
SPEAKER_00: Do they really?
1:01:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:01:44
SPEAKER_00: People complain about everything.
1:01:45
SPEAKER_05: Can they tell the difference between the three?
1:01:47
SPEAKER_00: With a look different.
1:01:48
SPEAKER_00: No, not the clones, but remember that was that's 120 grand worth of dogs.
1:01:51
SPEAKER_05: Right.
1:01:52
SPEAKER_00: Right.
1:01:52
SPEAKER_00: So if I wanted to have 19 other dogs, that's a lot of money.
1:01:55
SPEAKER_00: But if I wanted to have 19 any dogs, that's not I'd like to do that.
1:01:58
SPEAKER_05: You could put all 19 of them on the same billboard, and it's just like, which one will you get?
1:02:03
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
1:02:04
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
1:02:04
SPEAKER_00: But at that at that point, I've got the overhead for 19 dogs that I'm now.
1:02:08
SPEAKER_00: Jade's cleaning up what is that?
1:02:10
SPEAKER_00: 4,000 pieces a day.
1:02:11
SPEAKER_00: It's a lot of math.
1:02:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:02:12
SPEAKER_03: Poor Jade.
1:02:13
SPEAKER_00: Have you been in the sphere?
1:02:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:02:15
SPEAKER_00: What do you think?
1:02:16
SPEAKER_00: I saw you two there.
1:02:17
SPEAKER_00: Who I thought they were great, but they were like first in.
1:02:19
SPEAKER_00: So they they did like half of the show was unbelievable.
1:02:23
SPEAKER_00: You know, they had this like ceiling made of numbers that came down up top of you.
1:02:27
SPEAKER_00: I didn't even understand how that worked.
1:02:28
SPEAKER_00: They removed the wall, so now they're doing an outside concert.
1:02:32
SPEAKER_00: It was crazy.
1:02:33
SPEAKER_00: But they also had half of it where they're like, hey guys, we're not going to spend that much money on one show.
1:02:37
SPEAKER_00: Are you crazy?
1:02:39
SPEAKER_00: Let's just see how this goes.
1:02:40
SPEAKER_00: Um, and then I saw that very depressing movie they had.
1:02:43
SPEAKER_00: Do you remember that?
1:02:44
SPEAKER_00: Called Journey from the Burning Planet or whatever it was.
1:02:48
SPEAKER_00: Literally about the world dying.
1:02:50
SPEAKER_00: Literally about the end of the world.
1:02:51
SPEAKER_00: And you're like, yeah, one of the reasons is because somebody overspent my two billion dollars by building this insane energy guzzling operation here.
1:03:00
SPEAKER_00: Other than yours, what's the best show in Vegas?
1:03:02
SPEAKER_00: Uh Panantella, Donnie Osmond, Matt Franco's good.
1:03:07
SPEAKER_00: If you want to see a Matt, if you want to see a magic show and they have to enjoy it, you know that people have to enjoy it.
1:03:14
SPEAKER_00: Because me, Pen and Teller, we rub people up the wrong way sometimes because we like have a a point of view and an opinion.
1:03:21
SPEAKER_00: Matt just does wholesome magic for everybody.
1:03:24
SPEAKER_00: You don't realize till after the show when your child's been electrocuted that he's a monster.
1:03:28
SPEAKER_05: Well, that's how he ropes them in.
1:03:30
SPEAKER_05: He like it's so family-friendly.
1:03:31
SPEAKER_05: The kids come say hi.
1:03:33
SPEAKER_05: Makes sense.
1:03:33
SPEAKER_05: So that he can do that.
1:03:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:03:35
SPEAKER_05: He actually told me last weekend.
1:03:36
SPEAKER_00: So if if if you're with an adult group and you need them to have a good time, Matt Frank, if you're with kids, great, just don't do the meet and greet.
1:03:43
SPEAKER_00: Just don't do the meet and greet.
1:03:44
SPEAKER_02: Maybe pass on the meet and greet.
1:03:45
SPEAKER_02: Pass on the meet and greet.
1:03:46
SPEAKER_02: I'll tell you what I like, Penn and Taylor.
1:03:48
SPEAKER_02: They'll do a trick, they'll show you how they did the trick, and you still don't know how they did the trick.
1:03:52
SPEAKER_02: Okay, that's wrong.
1:03:53
SPEAKER_02: Excuse you?
1:03:54
SPEAKER_02: That's wrong.
1:03:55
SPEAKER_02: What are you talking about?
1:03:56
SPEAKER_00: That's not true.
1:03:57
SPEAKER_00: What's not true?
1:03:57
SPEAKER_00: I'd look at the trick.
1:03:59
SPEAKER_00: They do the trick.
1:04:00
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
1:04:00
SPEAKER_00: They show you how to do the trick, right?
1:04:02
SPEAKER_00: Sure.
1:04:03
SPEAKER_00: Now, what's correct about what you're saying is you then don't understand how the trick worked.
1:04:08
SPEAKER_05: Everyone else did.
1:04:09
SPEAKER_00: Everyone else did.
1:04:10
SPEAKER_00: Because if they show you how the trick works, you know how the trick works.
1:04:15
SPEAKER_00: So I was the only one that was blown away by that.
1:04:18
SPEAKER_00: What you're saying is they didn't show you how the trick works.
1:04:21
SPEAKER_00: That's the only thing you're saying.
1:04:24
SPEAKER_02: You know how many years I've been saying that?
1:04:26
SPEAKER_02: Seven.
1:04:27
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
1:04:28
SPEAKER_02: God damn you, Piff.
1:04:30
SPEAKER_00: I don't need, I mean.
1:04:32
SPEAKER_00: Um, Donio, Wayne Newton, unbelievable show.
1:04:36
SPEAKER_00: Is he still performing?
1:04:37
SPEAKER_00: You cannot be in this business for 70 years and not be incredible.
1:04:42
SPEAKER_00: It's trial and error at some point.
1:04:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:04:44
SPEAKER_00: You know, I've I've our the current version of the Flamingo show, we've done about 700 of, then we changed like 15 minutes and we did another 500.
1:04:58
SPEAKER_00: And we've like tweaked the show and got it better and better.
1:05:00
SPEAKER_00: But if it's not good now, it's never getting good.
1:05:03
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:05:03
SPEAKER_00: If you come to the show and you're like, oh, that was really good, that's the least you can expect.
1:05:07
SPEAKER_00: Because we've done it enough.
1:05:09
SPEAKER_00: And that's the great thing about Vegas.
1:05:11
SPEAKER_00: And you and Wayne Newton has done, I mean, Lance did 15,000.
1:05:14
SPEAKER_00: I don't know what Wayne Newton is, like 30,000, something like that.
1:05:18
SPEAKER_00: Crazy.
1:05:18
SPEAKER_00: So he's a he's a legend.
1:05:20
SPEAKER_04: Oh, Google.
1:05:21
SPEAKER_00: Wayne, Donnie, Ben and Tell and me, Matt Franco, don't pay for the meet and greet.
1:05:26
SPEAKER_00: Who else?
1:05:27
SPEAKER_00: That's enough, right?
1:05:28
SPEAKER_02: That's a good amount.
1:05:29
SPEAKER_02: You know what also blew my mind is on the cover.
1:05:33
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, there you go.
1:05:34
SPEAKER_00: That's a good thing.
1:05:35
SPEAKER_00: That's that's a good bit of research.
1:05:36
SPEAKER_00: Look at you.
1:05:37
SPEAKER_00: Are you showing it to me or are you gonna do a pop-up on the people do pop up?
1:05:41
SPEAKER_02: Wayne Newton, how did you get hooked up with Mum, for instance?
1:05:45
SPEAKER_00: Which question can I answer first?
1:05:47
SPEAKER_00: We were about to listen to a fact.
1:05:49
SPEAKER_00: Which you'd know if you'd listened to your co star, if you'd given them the basic courtesy of just stepping aside as they started speaking, but you didn't, you ran them over.
1:06:00
SPEAKER_00: Oh, because you pay their wages, you can do it, you can treat them anything, any way you like.
1:06:04
SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry.
1:06:04
SPEAKER_05: He gives us only free-flowing plumbing.
1:06:06
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
1:06:07
SPEAKER_05: We hate it.
1:06:07
SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry, that's the microphone.
1:06:09
SPEAKER_05: I was just I was saying that I would Google the Wayne Newton thing to see how many shows he's done.
1:06:13
SPEAKER_05: WayneNewton.com says he's done 25,000 plus.
1:06:18
SPEAKER_05: Very big.
1:06:18
SPEAKER_05: But that's a long time ago.
1:06:20
SPEAKER_05: You don't think they've updoed it?
1:06:21
SPEAKER_00: They made that website when the internet came out.
1:06:24
SPEAKER_05: Right, right.
1:06:25
SPEAKER_00: It's probably hosted on Outer Vista or something.
1:06:27
SPEAKER_05: This is like National Lampoons time.
1:06:29
SPEAKER_00: Probably like, yeah.
1:06:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:06:30
SPEAKER_00: He's probably got an AOL email address.
1:06:32
SPEAKER_00: Wayne Newton at AOL.com.
1:06:34
SPEAKER_00: Wayne Newton7 at AOL.com.
1:06:35
SPEAKER_05: Back in the MSN chat room.
1:06:37
SPEAKER_02: It actually says see Wayne Newton in the upcoming film Vegas Vacation.
1:06:40
SPEAKER_05: Oh, does it?
1:06:40
SPEAKER_05: Good.
1:06:41
SPEAKER_02: Soon soon to be released.
1:06:43
SPEAKER_02: Soon to be released.
1:06:44
SPEAKER_02: How do you know Mumford and Sons?
1:06:46
SPEAKER_00: Um I went to church with Marcus and Winston.
1:06:53
SPEAKER_00: They were in my church, and we used to do these variety shows, and Winston um at the church?
1:07:00
SPEAKER_00: Uh outside the church, like like extracurricular activities.
1:07:04
SPEAKER_00: And Winston came and did a um uh you remember the Oh Brother We're out there?
1:07:10
SPEAKER_00: That's how Winston got into bluegrass.
1:07:12
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
1:07:12
SPEAKER_00: And so we came and did this like song in that style before Montfort and Sons.
1:07:17
SPEAKER_00: And then he started a Cabaret night and he said to me, Hey, do you want to come and like do this with me?
1:07:23
SPEAKER_00: And I was too busy doing the one that I was already doing, and I was like, No, I'm I'm good, thanks.
1:07:28
SPEAKER_00: And that's where Month for the Sons started, that's where Laura Marling started, that's where Noah and the Whale, I think, started there, and these bands.
1:07:35
SPEAKER_00: So and then anyway, so I did a show uh called Um The Secret Policeman's Ball for Amnesty International International.
1:07:44
SPEAKER_00: I won a competition to do 15 seconds there.
1:07:47
SPEAKER_00: I got flown from London to New York to do 15 seconds, and they were the band, they were headlining, so they were doing much better than me at that time, and they were on after me, and so we knew each other, and they were like, This is amazing, you should come on tour with us.
1:08:01
SPEAKER_00: And so I did, and it went great.
1:08:03
SPEAKER_00: And um, as a result, they said, What are you doing on Monday?
1:08:06
SPEAKER_00: Come and be on our photo shoot.
1:08:08
SPEAKER_02: That's awesome.
1:08:08
SPEAKER_00: That's how I ended up on the cover.
1:08:10
SPEAKER_02: How many shows did you do with them?
1:08:11
SPEAKER_00: Um, about 17, 16.
1:08:14
SPEAKER_00: It was the best of times and the worst of times, and that's the thing about this business, it often is that it's often like you're doing the thing that you dreamt of most, and part of it is incredible, and you're so lucky to be there.
1:08:26
SPEAKER_00: So lucky, just so lucky to be there.
1:08:29
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes, you know, your your dog just died, and you gotta go on and do the show anyway.
1:08:35
SPEAKER_00: So it's it's a weird business for that.
1:08:38
SPEAKER_00: So I was for the Monthland Science, I did these theater dates, which is like up to 3,000 people, and they could all see and hear me, and I crushed.
1:08:47
SPEAKER_00: And I did 30 minutes all together, and then for the arenas, I did three blocks of 10 minutes, and I started when the doors opened, and there's like it's an arena show, so like 500 people show up and they go to the front of the arena, and I was in the middle of the arena, so I just ignored by all these people, and it was a nightmare.
1:09:05
SPEAKER_05: Like you were performing as they were walking in, yeah.
1:09:08
SPEAKER_00: That's weird, just a complete indifference, and it was and half of the time, half of the gigs I just bombed like you wouldn't believe, and half of the times I crushed, and those were amazing.
1:09:18
SPEAKER_00: That's like 20,000 people chanting my name, and that was amazing, so it was real highs and lows.
1:09:24
SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh, this is a roller coaster.
1:09:25
SPEAKER_01: That's wild.
1:09:26
SPEAKER_05: Chanting Piff or chanting John.
1:09:29
SPEAKER_00: Well, I was in a dragon outfit at the time.
1:09:31
SPEAKER_05: You never know.
1:09:32
SPEAKER_00: You do, you do know, because the actual Piff, the magic dragon.
1:09:36
SPEAKER_00: Don't don't catch whatever he's got.
1:09:38
SPEAKER_00: You're better than that.
1:09:39
SPEAKER_00: I think I'm rubbing off on it.
1:09:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're better than rubbing off on it based on the way it's gonna be.
1:09:42
SPEAKER_00: Every time you come in, look at him and say, I'm better than this.
1:09:46
SPEAKER_00: I'll walk in, I'll say good morning, I'm better than you.
1:09:49
SPEAKER_00: You should have a badge saying I'm better than this.
1:09:51
SPEAKER_05: I'll get one, I'll paint it on my office door, actually.
1:09:53
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, that's great.
1:09:53
SPEAKER_05: Is your name Andrew?
1:09:54
SPEAKER_05: I'm better than you.
1:09:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:09:58
SPEAKER_02: I think I think we're at the magic card, the the magic trick portion of the stuff.
1:10:02
SPEAKER_00: We're not, because that was when we ran out of conversation and you've got more questions.
1:10:05
SPEAKER_00: I have so many more.
1:10:06
SPEAKER_00: You're at the point when you have been beaten into submission.
1:10:09
SPEAKER_05: I have a question.
1:10:10
SPEAKER_05: I have multiple questions.
1:10:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:10:12
SPEAKER_05: So we talked about what you think, other than your own, of course, is the best show in Vegas to go see.
1:10:17
SPEAKER_00: I didn't say my own show was the best to see.
1:10:19
SPEAKER_05: He said his own.
1:10:20
SPEAKER_00: I just had a feeling you would probably do it.
1:10:22
SPEAKER_00: Do you think we've got a really good show in Vegas?
1:10:24
SPEAKER_00: You do.
1:10:24
SPEAKER_00: We get told that a lot.
1:10:26
SPEAKER_00: Because Vegas, a lot of people won't name names, they come in and clock out.
1:10:31
unknown: Yeah.
1:10:31
SPEAKER_00: It's like it's like kind of notorious for it.
1:10:33
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:10:34
SPEAKER_00: But we I love doing the show, and the show has like uh audience interaction throughout it, and it well, that's like it's like say somebody walking on stage and pulling a pin out of a grenade.
1:10:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you just it any minute now you could get cancelled.
1:10:47
SPEAKER_00: I had somebody on the stage the other day doing an Epstein joke.
1:10:51
SPEAKER_00: Not not the best.
1:10:52
SPEAKER_00: That's really brave.
1:10:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and everyone's got phones these days, so you know.
1:10:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so you're definitely on high alert.
1:10:58
SPEAKER_00: So that's why I love doing the show, it's very present.
1:11:00
SPEAKER_02: I I do like it when you, like I said, when you do the crowd interaction, you are very quick-witted, and the comebacks that you have are 99%, I'm imagining hilarious.
1:11:10
SPEAKER_02: I'm imagining there's that 1% where yeah, they bomb.
1:11:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
1:11:14
SPEAKER_05: Sorry, what's it say the wrong thing?
1:11:16
SPEAKER_05: But my question.
1:11:17
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, sorry, you had a question, and then Andrew started talking again.
1:11:20
SPEAKER_00: Funny how that happened.
1:11:21
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
1:11:22
SPEAKER_05: But my question was you also live here.
1:11:25
SPEAKER_05: You're a Vegas local, we're a Vegas local podcaster.
1:11:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I've lived here for 13 years.
1:11:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:11:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:11:29
SPEAKER_05: So you're a local at this point.
1:11:31
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:11:31
SPEAKER_05: What is like the most underrated place to go, whether it's like a restaurant or a bar?
1:11:36
SPEAKER_05: Like if someone was coming to town, where would you say you gotta go here?
1:11:39
SPEAKER_00: I really love Pink O for Thai food.
1:11:41
SPEAKER_05: I've never on Eastern.
1:11:42
SPEAKER_00: Where is this?
1:11:43
SPEAKER_00: Unbelievable.
1:11:44
SPEAKER_05: Pink, like the colour?
1:11:45
SPEAKER_00: P-I-N-Space, K-A-O-W, Pink Ow.
1:11:50
SPEAKER_00: I love Nielsen's Frozen Custard.
1:11:52
SPEAKER_00: I love the Pinball Hall of Fame, which is getting more famous, so most people know that.
1:11:56
SPEAKER_00: That's not so much of a secret anymore.
1:11:58
SPEAKER_00: I like Cosmo Secret Pizza.
1:12:00
SPEAKER_00: That's really good.
1:12:02
SPEAKER_00: But it's more they put something that you become dependent on in it.
1:12:06
SPEAKER_00: They drug it.
1:12:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:12:08
SPEAKER_00: It's like you really start craving that shit when you when you stop eating it.
1:12:12
SPEAKER_00: Um, I like the Beverly, I like Writer's Block, I like Mothership for Coffee.
1:12:18
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
1:12:19
SPEAKER_05: Anywhere else we I feel like we're about to find out exactly.
1:12:23
SPEAKER_00: But I don't is that a new one?
1:12:25
unknown: Yeah.
1:12:25
SPEAKER_00: What's that Jim Carner?
1:12:27
SPEAKER_00: Oh, the oh, the the Indian restaurant?
1:12:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:12:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, okay.
1:12:29
SPEAKER_00: I I was gonna go, but my friend bailed.
1:12:32
SPEAKER_00: Why aren't I going this Friday?
1:12:33
SPEAKER_00: Oh, because I'd have to pay for it.
1:12:35
SPEAKER_00: That's why.
1:12:36
SPEAKER_00: We're taking somebody out for dinner to say thank you, but um, we're taking them to Caesars because we get a comp amount.
1:12:43
SPEAKER_00: Sure.
1:12:43
SPEAKER_00: So we don't pay for it.
1:12:44
SPEAKER_00: It gets written off.
1:12:45
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
1:12:46
SPEAKER_02: How often do you get recognized when you're not in the outfit?
1:12:49
SPEAKER_02: Which is very rare, I'm sure, that you're not in the outfit.
1:12:51
SPEAKER_02: It's very rare, and I get recognized rarely.
1:12:54
SPEAKER_00: Rarely, really?
1:12:55
SPEAKER_00: But enough, enough to be careful.
1:12:57
SPEAKER_00: Enough to know that when I'm in public, somebody could be like, I met Piff and he was a massive dick.
1:13:02
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's the thing I was gonna say about when I so you know I I started, you know, I'm doing this stuff as a in a regular suit, sure, and just being me in a regular suit, and I get fired everywhere and make people cry.
1:13:17
SPEAKER_00: And then when I put the dragon outfit on, suddenly I can do and say anything I want to, and I can be so much more like I really want to be.
1:13:24
SPEAKER_00: You know, even coming on here, I'm wearing a Piff hoodie.
1:13:27
SPEAKER_00: I mean, coming on as Piff Mad Dragon, nobody's like, wow, that John Vanderput's a monster.
1:13:34
SPEAKER_00: Obviously, he was just putting Andrew in his place, and finally somebody right-sized Andrew.
1:13:40
SPEAKER_00: Finally, somebody did what he needed to do, but nevertheless, he's a monster.
1:13:43
SPEAKER_00: No, they're just understanding that I'm in I'm in entertainment right now.
1:13:47
SPEAKER_00: But if they met me not on your podcast, and I was like this to them, they'd be like, Wow, that guy's a dick.
1:13:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:13:52
SPEAKER_05: Would you say is the the Piff personality your personality?
1:13:55
SPEAKER_00: It's really core me.
1:13:56
SPEAKER_00: It's more me than I am normally.
1:13:58
SPEAKER_05: You just don't have to mask that you're an asshole.
1:14:01
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
1:14:01
SPEAKER_00: Nice.
1:14:01
SPEAKER_00: There's no it's me without masking.
1:14:03
SPEAKER_02: This is your safety blanket right here.
1:14:04
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I love that.
1:14:05
SPEAKER_02: You're gonna get a you're gonna get a strongly worded letter from my mother after about how much she loves you and how grateful she is.
1:14:12
SPEAKER_00: About how you're now adopted.
1:14:13
SPEAKER_02: You're now my older brother.
1:14:14
SPEAKER_00: How finally somebody said what needed to be said.
1:14:16
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I mean, you couldn't wear this.
1:14:18
SPEAKER_00: Is this what you're wearing?
1:14:20
SPEAKER_02: I want to keep it casual because I want this conversation to be casual.
1:14:23
SPEAKER_00: You wear that same t-shirt every episode?
1:14:25
SPEAKER_00: Just about.
1:14:26
SPEAKER_00: Just about, or yes?
1:14:27
SPEAKER_00: No, I don't.
1:14:27
SPEAKER_00: No.
1:14:28
SPEAKER_02: I this is actually the first time I've worn this shirt.
1:14:30
SPEAKER_00: Right, because you haven't thought about what you're wearing.
1:14:32
SPEAKER_00: This is my point.
1:14:32
SPEAKER_00: You didn't think about it.
1:14:34
SPEAKER_00: What would you expect me to wear?
1:14:35
SPEAKER_02: Something you thought about.
1:14:36
SPEAKER_02: You went on office hours, yeah, podcast, which is a very funny podcast in LA.
1:14:42
SPEAKER_02: What was your experience like on that podcast compared to this?
1:14:45
SPEAKER_00: It was better on that one.
1:14:47
SPEAKER_00: They were more prepared.
1:14:48
SPEAKER_00: Are you kidding?
1:14:49
SPEAKER_00: And offered me expenses.
1:14:51
SPEAKER_00: What kind of expenses?
1:14:52
SPEAKER_00: I paid for my flight.
1:14:52
SPEAKER_00: I was on Jet Suite X, it was a nightmare.
1:14:54
SPEAKER_05: Did you need to fly from your home here?
1:14:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:14:57
SPEAKER_00: Because it was it's in L in LA tonight.
1:14:59
SPEAKER_00: So I had to fly, like to get up at like 5 a.m., fly there, do the podcast, and fly back and do a show that evening.
1:15:05
SPEAKER_00: Because we do six nights a week.
1:15:06
SPEAKER_02: How did we trick you to get on this podcast?
1:15:08
SPEAKER_00: What uh it was Janice.
1:15:10
SPEAKER_00: Janice thought it was a good idea.
1:15:11
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
1:15:12
SPEAKER_05: Really, she saw, oh, cute young girl Julie, we can become together.
1:15:16
SPEAKER_00: When I employ people, I listen to their opinions and respect them.
1:15:20
SPEAKER_00: Not just saying that.
1:15:22
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
1:15:22
SPEAKER_00: Just saying that.
1:15:23
SPEAKER_00: Not a conversation we've heard, we've had, not feedback I'm receiving.
1:15:29
SPEAKER_00: I'm just saying.
1:15:30
SPEAKER_00: Janice said to me, Hey, you should do this podcast.
1:15:32
SPEAKER_00: And I went, Alright, great, we'll do it if you think so.
1:15:35
SPEAKER_05: Are you ever gonna listen to her again?
1:15:38
SPEAKER_00: Well, because you like I think that we've had a valuable conversation and a meaningful interaction.
1:15:44
SPEAKER_05: And to be fair, Janice only interacted with me prior to this bust the fuck over here.
1:15:49
SPEAKER_00: What the?
1:15:50
SPEAKER_00: Are you not impressed?
1:15:51
SPEAKER_00: And also, I feel like you guys editing and contributing by Googling, like, why should you be punished for this?
1:15:59
SPEAKER_00: It's not your fault.
1:16:00
SPEAKER_05: I don't really feel punished.
1:16:01
SPEAKER_05: I have pretty lenient hours, and he kind of just like trusts me to do what I'm saying.
1:16:05
SPEAKER_00: No, but can you imagine if he was asking more and contributing this?
1:16:09
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you know?
1:16:10
SPEAKER_00: Do you watch The Office?
1:16:12
SPEAKER_00: I do.
1:16:12
SPEAKER_00: Did you?
1:16:13
SPEAKER_00: It's one of the rare times I'm like, that was I prefer it to the original.
1:16:17
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
1:16:18
SPEAKER_00: Because I love like optimistic comedy.
1:16:20
SPEAKER_00: I love comedy that like wants to get to a better place.
1:16:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:16:24
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm very dry and sarcastic, but I try, and I don't know whether this is going to be your experience, but I try and leave people better than when I found them.
1:16:34
SPEAKER_00: So in the show, I have a I there's a couple I choose in the show, and I rip the shit out of this guy for many reasons, but I hope that I also build him back up and leave him in a better place anyway.
1:16:45
SPEAKER_00: I hope I leave him as the hero.
1:16:47
SPEAKER_00: And that's what I love in comedy.
1:16:48
SPEAKER_00: That's what the office, the American one, does that the UK one doesn't do as much.
1:16:52
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:16:53
SPEAKER_00: You're good, you're good at crowd work.
1:16:54
SPEAKER_00: So you you think you think that's what you took?
1:16:57
SPEAKER_00: That's what you took that to mean.
1:16:58
SPEAKER_00: You bet you that's what you reduced that to, me being good at crowd work?
1:17:03
SPEAKER_00: You are good at crowd work.
1:17:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but that's not the same thing.
1:17:05
SPEAKER_05: I take it as you go into your job as changing lives.
1:17:08
SPEAKER_00: Right, exactly.
1:17:09
SPEAKER_00: You and I were on the same wavelength over here.
1:17:11
SPEAKER_05: Connected.
1:17:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:17:12
SPEAKER_00: This guy.
1:17:13
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, you're you're good at crowd work, yeah.
1:17:16
SPEAKER_00: Jeez.
1:17:16
SPEAKER_00: You're a tough one.
1:17:18
SPEAKER_05: So on your show, um, when I was doing my research.
1:17:20
SPEAKER_00: Am I a tough one?
1:17:21
SPEAKER_00: Or is your ability so low?
1:17:24
SPEAKER_00: Is your ability so very low?
1:17:27
SPEAKER_00: We had Jonathan Joston.
1:17:28
SPEAKER_00: What episode is this?
1:17:29
SPEAKER_00: What number?
1:17:29
SPEAKER_00: 58.
1:17:30
SPEAKER_00: No, that was I didn't want to hear that.
1:17:32
SPEAKER_00: Do you want to hire one?
1:17:34
SPEAKER_00: Seven?
1:17:34
SPEAKER_00: Six.
1:17:35
SPEAKER_00: You gotta be in single digits.
1:17:36
SPEAKER_00: We're just starting out.
1:17:37
SPEAKER_00: I haven't done this much.
1:17:39
SPEAKER_02: You've been doing this for a year?
1:17:41
SPEAKER_02: 2024 of December.
1:17:42
SPEAKER_02: No.
1:17:43
SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes.
1:17:44
unknown: Jeez.
1:17:45
SPEAKER_02: I know.
1:17:45
SPEAKER_02: And now we're gonna be all over your algorithm.
1:17:47
SPEAKER_02: How do you feel about this?
1:17:48
SPEAKER_05: That's all you're gonna see.
1:17:49
SPEAKER_00: Well, I don't get to, I don't I think social media is the devil.
1:17:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, Janice.
1:17:54
SPEAKER_00: It's the worst.
1:17:55
SPEAKER_00: It's like compare and despair.
1:17:56
SPEAKER_00: It does nothing but make people unhappy.
1:17:58
SPEAKER_00: I get that.
1:17:59
SPEAKER_00: It does something, but not enough.
1:18:01
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't give back enough.
1:18:02
SPEAKER_00: Because I've got a bunch of things.
1:18:04
SPEAKER_00: I got a career from social media.
1:18:05
SPEAKER_00: Sure.
1:18:06
SPEAKER_00: You know, that's I went viral on it on YouTube back in the day.
1:18:09
SPEAKER_00: That's how I have a job, but it contributes a lot less than it gives.
1:18:15
SPEAKER_00: Julie?
1:18:16
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, what I was saying before both of you started back up this time.
1:18:19
SPEAKER_00: That's a real that's a real moment for you.
1:18:21
SPEAKER_00: That's big.
1:18:22
SPEAKER_00: Is it?
1:18:23
SPEAKER_00: Doesn't go unnoticed.
1:18:24
SPEAKER_00: You really platform?
1:18:25
SPEAKER_00: Right.
1:18:26
SPEAKER_00: I I respect you for that.
1:18:27
SPEAKER_00: Congratulations.
1:18:28
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
1:18:29
SPEAKER_00: I would like to honor that.
1:18:30
SPEAKER_00: I'm honoring you for what you just did there.
1:18:32
SPEAKER_02: That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
1:18:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're right.
1:18:36
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
1:18:37
SPEAKER_05: I was just saying that when I was researching you, I did watch the episode of your podcast where you had Scott Karatop on.
1:18:43
SPEAKER_00: We've got like 11 podcasts over the years.
1:18:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so that's what the most recent one with him.
1:18:48
SPEAKER_00: No, we got a new app, we got a new podcast.
1:18:50
SPEAKER_05: With him?
1:18:51
SPEAKER_00: No, but a different podcast.
1:18:55
SPEAKER_00: No, but that's not the different podcast now.
1:18:57
SPEAKER_05: Really?
1:18:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:18:59
SPEAKER_05: We didn't have very many episodes of that one.
1:19:00
SPEAKER_00: I know we stopped it.
1:19:01
SPEAKER_00: What we did, we did a limited series of it to see whether I wanted to do it.
1:19:05
SPEAKER_00: You could have done that.
1:19:07
SPEAKER_00: We did eight of them, and I went, oh, you know what?
1:19:10
SPEAKER_00: This isn't quite what I want it to be.
1:19:12
SPEAKER_00: So I dismantled it, rebuilt it, and now I love it.
1:19:15
SPEAKER_05: Well, what's your what's your new podcast?
1:19:16
SPEAKER_00: Piff TV.
1:19:17
SPEAKER_05: Piff TV.
1:19:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:19:18
SPEAKER_05: But not Piff.com.
1:19:18
SPEAKER_00: We had Matt Franco on it.
1:19:19
SPEAKER_05: Because you can't get Piff.
1:19:21
SPEAKER_00: I think it's the best interview Matt Franco's ever done.
1:19:23
SPEAKER_00: Normally, I'm normally and I said it because of what he contributed to it.
1:19:28
SPEAKER_00: I genuinely believe it's the best interview he's ever done on TV.
1:19:32
SPEAKER_00: It's amazing.
1:19:33
SPEAKER_00: I haven't seen that episode, I have to watch it.
1:19:35
SPEAKER_00: We haven't done basic research.
1:19:37
SPEAKER_00: We haven't looked at my last three months of videos.
1:19:40
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I I've I've seen your videos.
1:19:42
SPEAKER_02: I mean, did I not guess?
1:19:44
SPEAKER_02: You have a lot of you have a lot of videos.
1:19:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but you know, you could have started somewhere.
1:19:48
SPEAKER_00: I did start.
1:19:49
SPEAKER_05: Yes, I did.
1:19:50
SPEAKER_05: My question about your episode with him, even though it's an old podcast.
1:19:54
SPEAKER_05: On the old podcast.
1:19:55
SPEAKER_05: On the old podcast.
1:19:56
SPEAKER_05: Y'all very briefly uh laughed about how you are the old school headliners now.
1:20:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:20:02
SPEAKER_05: How do you feel about that?
1:20:03
SPEAKER_05: Good, bad, indifferent.
1:20:04
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I don't think it's ever easy to feel good about being old.
1:20:08
SPEAKER_05: But old and old school is different.
1:20:10
SPEAKER_00: No, it's not really.
1:20:11
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, mid-century modern has made a it's a it's a whole thing right now, and that's old school.
1:20:16
SPEAKER_00: No, the I I understand what you're saying, but I think like um it's good to be rediscovered by the new generation, but it's not better than being on the bleeding edge of culture.
1:20:28
SPEAKER_05: Well, who do you think's on the bleeding edge of culture in Vegas right now?
1:20:31
SPEAKER_00: Well, if I were to name somebody, because I'm old school, I'd be out of the loop.
1:20:36
SPEAKER_00: That's one of the problems of being old school, is you you don't you've lost touch with it.
1:20:39
SPEAKER_00: So is more on the bleeding edge.
1:20:43
SPEAKER_00: She's not not 100% on that edge, but she's she's like you know falling away from it, but she's closer.
1:20:49
SPEAKER_00: Who is on the bleeding edge of call in Vegas?
1:20:51
SPEAKER_05: Who would you say is like the hot person to go see here?
1:20:55
SPEAKER_05: For young people.
1:20:57
SPEAKER_02: We're putting her on the spot right now.
1:20:58
SPEAKER_05: I know.
1:21:00
SPEAKER_05: Sorry, we can Okay.
1:21:03
SPEAKER_02: We'll circle back.
1:21:04
SPEAKER_05: You have until the end of the card trick.
1:21:06
SPEAKER_02: We're not doing a card trick.
1:21:07
SPEAKER_05: What do you mean?
1:21:08
SPEAKER_02: Would I even worthy of a card trick?
1:21:09
SPEAKER_02: No.
1:21:11
SPEAKER_02: What what trick would you have done if you didn't know?
1:21:13
SPEAKER_05: If you were gonna do it.
1:21:15
SPEAKER_00: Fortune.
1:21:16
SPEAKER_00: If I'd have brought fortune, he would have done a trick.
1:21:18
SPEAKER_02: What would he have done?
1:21:19
SPEAKER_00: You'll never know.
1:21:20
SPEAKER_00: And that's the worst part.
1:21:21
SPEAKER_00: You'll die know you'll die never knowing.
1:21:23
SPEAKER_05: You don't want to mic.
1:21:24
SPEAKER_00: That's your life now.
1:21:25
SPEAKER_00: Sorry.
1:21:25
SPEAKER_00: That's the reality in which you live.
1:21:28
SPEAKER_05: I love, I was like watching bits and pieces of your special reptile dysfunction.
1:21:34
SPEAKER_00: Did you watch a special?
1:21:35
SPEAKER_00: I watched part of it.
1:21:36
SPEAKER_00: Did you watch the special?
1:21:38
SPEAKER_00: I watched part of it.
1:21:39
SPEAKER_00: You motherfucker.
1:21:40
SPEAKER_00: The least you could have done.
1:21:41
SPEAKER_00: Would you rather me lie to you?
1:21:43
SPEAKER_00: The least you could have done, and yet you did less.
1:21:46
SPEAKER_02: You have so much content out there.
1:21:48
SPEAKER_02: I wanted to come in.
1:21:50
SPEAKER_02: I wanted to come in with a blank slate, but also with a little bit of information, just enough to have those are two contradictory positions.
1:21:59
SPEAKER_00: You can't be a blank slate with some information.
1:22:03
SPEAKER_00: That's not a blank slate.
1:22:04
SPEAKER_02: You know, I got nothing.
1:22:07
SPEAKER_00: I I have no idea.
1:22:10
SPEAKER_00: This is what my guests do to me.
1:22:11
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
1:22:12
SPEAKER_00: And it's why it's miserable.
1:22:13
SPEAKER_00: So I'm just basking in the glory.
1:22:16
SPEAKER_00: I can't wait till I come onto your podcast.
1:22:18
SPEAKER_00: You won't.
1:22:18
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I haven't.
1:22:18
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to invite you.
1:22:19
SPEAKER_00: We're not going to invite you.
1:22:20
SPEAKER_00: I wouldn't be invited.
1:22:21
SPEAKER_00: Unless your circumstances change drastically, which I hope they do for you.
1:22:27
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
1:22:28
SPEAKER_00: But in that case, we will but I doubt it.
1:22:30
SPEAKER_00: I doubt we're going to be reaching out, Andrew.
1:22:33
SPEAKER_00: Please, buddy, we need you on Piff TV.
1:22:35
SPEAKER_00: That's what we need right now from you.
1:22:37
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to show up wearing that exact sweatshirt.
1:22:39
SPEAKER_00: At least you'll put some effort in.
1:22:41
SPEAKER_00: At least you'll put some thought into what you're wearing.
1:22:44
SPEAKER_05: Well, I just wanted to say the one where where he comes out of the the the flip book dressed as a shark.
1:22:50
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you like that one?
1:22:51
SPEAKER_05: That's probably my favorite.
1:22:52
SPEAKER_05: Oh really?
1:22:53
SPEAKER_05: But honestly, anything that involves a dog, I'm in.
1:22:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he's a cutie.
1:22:56
SPEAKER_00: That was the other one.
1:22:57
SPEAKER_00: That was the original.
1:22:59
SPEAKER_00: All original Piffles.
1:23:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:23:01
SPEAKER_00: He's the best.
1:23:02
SPEAKER_05: I love him.
1:23:03
SPEAKER_00: I mean, listen, we we're about an hour in.
1:23:06
SPEAKER_00: How long are these things normally?
1:23:07
SPEAKER_00: About an hour.
1:23:08
SPEAKER_00: About an hour.
1:23:08
SPEAKER_00: So we can wrap it up.
1:23:09
SPEAKER_05: Can I please see the card trick?
1:23:11
SPEAKER_05: For me.
1:23:11
SPEAKER_05: He can leave the room.
1:23:12
SPEAKER_00: Do you have any playing cards?
1:23:14
SPEAKER_05: I thought you brought them.
1:23:15
SPEAKER_00: What?
1:23:15
SPEAKER_05: Make them appear.
1:23:16
SPEAKER_05: That's your job.
1:23:17
SPEAKER_05: What's your thing?
1:23:17
SPEAKER_05: What's your thing?
1:23:18
SPEAKER_00: Now you're turning into him?
1:23:21
SPEAKER_05: Just taking authority.
1:23:23
SPEAKER_00: Alright, look, we'll just pretend.
1:23:24
SPEAKER_00: We'll just pretend.
1:23:25
SPEAKER_05: I'm gonna pretend.
1:23:26
SPEAKER_05: Alright.
1:23:27
SPEAKER_00: Take out some playing cards.
1:23:28
SPEAKER_00: Hold on, I'm gonna move the laptop.
1:23:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:23:30
SPEAKER_00: Put them down, pick up some playing cards.
1:23:33
SPEAKER_05: Okay, hold on.
1:23:35
SPEAKER_00: Okay, take them out of the box.
1:23:37
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
1:23:37
SPEAKER_00: Shuffle them up.
1:23:39
SPEAKER_05: Hold on.
1:23:39
SPEAKER_05: I'm really bad at shuffling them.
1:23:41
SPEAKER_00: That's why I didn't ask you to do this.
1:23:42
SPEAKER_00: Because even though she's stating her difficulties, she's doing a fantastic job.
1:23:48
SPEAKER_00: She's doing a wonderful jant.
1:23:49
SPEAKER_00: Look at this.
1:23:50
SPEAKER_00: This is an overhand shuffle.
1:23:51
SPEAKER_00: You like that?
1:23:51
SPEAKER_00: And I'm bad.
1:23:52
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna have to do it a couple times.
1:23:53
SPEAKER_00: Not any of this cheap joke bullshit.
1:23:55
SPEAKER_05: Ready?
1:23:55
SPEAKER_05: Here.
1:23:56
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
1:23:57
SPEAKER_00: What a look at it.
1:23:58
SPEAKER_05: And then you've got to stack them together.
1:23:59
SPEAKER_05: You have to go three times.
1:24:00
SPEAKER_05: My mom taught me that.
1:24:01
SPEAKER_00: There you go.
1:24:02
SPEAKER_05: Last one.
1:24:04
SPEAKER_00: Now you're gonna spread them out.
1:24:05
SPEAKER_05: Spread them on the floor?
1:24:06
SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
1:24:07
SPEAKER_00: In the air.
1:24:07
SPEAKER_00: They're very big cards.
1:24:09
SPEAKER_00: So Andrew doesn't even have to lunge.
1:24:10
SPEAKER_00: They're very big cards.
1:24:12
SPEAKER_05: Like they're floating.
1:24:12
SPEAKER_05: Like they're gonna float.
1:24:13
SPEAKER_05: Exactly.
1:24:14
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
1:24:14
SPEAKER_00: They're big cards.
1:24:15
SPEAKER_00: And just give them to Andrew.
1:24:16
SPEAKER_00: Andrew.
1:24:16
SPEAKER_00: Andrew.
1:24:17
SPEAKER_00: Please.
1:24:17
SPEAKER_00: Andrew's gonna take one card out.
1:24:19
SPEAKER_00: Now nothing easy.
1:24:20
SPEAKER_00: Don't patronize us.
1:24:21
SPEAKER_00: No ace of spades.
1:24:23
SPEAKER_00: I would know.
1:24:23
SPEAKER_00: No Queen of Hearts.
1:24:24
SPEAKER_00: Yes, you would.
1:24:25
SPEAKER_00: What do you think of me?
1:24:26
SPEAKER_00: All you do is stick to the bottom.
1:24:28
SPEAKER_00: That's what you do, Andrew.
1:24:29
SPEAKER_00: That's what you've always done.
1:24:31
SPEAKER_00: After everyone's say the same.
1:24:33
SPEAKER_00: I thought we were like this.
1:24:34
SPEAKER_00: We're not.
1:24:35
SPEAKER_02: Apparently.
1:24:36
SPEAKER_00: Make it a difficult card.
1:24:38
SPEAKER_00: I got it.
1:24:38
SPEAKER_00: Turn it face down.
1:24:40
SPEAKER_00: Upside down.
1:24:41
SPEAKER_00: Throw it.
1:24:42
SPEAKER_00: And as he does that, he does the second commendable thing.
1:24:46
SPEAKER_00: He put a graceful curve on it.
1:24:48
SPEAKER_00: So it curves out across the studio.
1:24:51
SPEAKER_00: And it comes back and lands in your deck.
1:24:54
SPEAKER_00: Shuffle your deck.
1:24:55
SPEAKER_00: So you don't even know where the upside down card is.
1:24:57
SPEAKER_05: Come on, we're gonna go like this.
1:24:58
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's good.
1:24:59
SPEAKER_00: That's good.
1:24:59
SPEAKER_00: I like it.
1:25:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, very good.
1:25:00
SPEAKER_00: Place them in the box.
1:25:01
SPEAKER_00: Place them in the box.
1:25:02
SPEAKER_05: I mean and I'm gonna close it.
1:25:05
SPEAKER_00: Hand them to me.
1:25:11
SPEAKER_05: I love your sound effects.
1:25:13
SPEAKER_00: Where did they come from?
1:25:14
SPEAKER_00: My pocket! Andrew, name your card.
1:25:19
SPEAKER_01: Three of clubs.
1:25:22
SPEAKER_00: Be real.
1:25:22
SPEAKER_00: There was.
1:25:23
SPEAKER_00: What?
1:25:24
SPEAKER_01: Three of clubs.
1:25:26
SPEAKER_00: You chose the three of clubs?
1:25:28
SPEAKER_00: For real?
1:25:29
SPEAKER_01: For real.
1:25:30
SPEAKER_00: You know three of clubs is a card that Penn and Taylor uses a force card.
1:25:36
SPEAKER_00: If you'd have listened to how any of their tricks works, if you'd actually understood how any of their tricks had worked.
1:25:41
SPEAKER_00: I haven't seen Pen and Teller.
1:25:42
SPEAKER_00: What does that mean?
1:25:43
SPEAKER_00: I just saw that.
1:25:44
SPEAKER_00: It means every time they do a card trick and they explain how it works and they say, Oh, we force the card.
1:25:50
SPEAKER_00: They always use the three of clubs.
1:25:52
SPEAKER_00: It's like an Easter egg for their fans.
1:25:55
SPEAKER_02: I just watched your videos, like I on Penn and Teller and AGT, and one of those, I believe you actually had a three of clubs, which may be something.
1:26:02
SPEAKER_02: Why do you think I did that?
1:26:03
SPEAKER_02: I why do you think I did that, Andrew?
1:26:05
SPEAKER_02: Well now it's subconsciously in my mind.
1:26:07
SPEAKER_02: Do you want me to change it?
1:26:08
unknown: No.
1:26:09
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
1:26:09
SPEAKER_05: It's too late.
1:26:10
SPEAKER_05: We already shuffled, we already put them in the box.
1:26:13
SPEAKER_00: Every one of the cards is FaceTime except this one is there, take it.
1:26:16
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
1:26:17
SPEAKER_05: Do you want me to look at it?
1:26:18
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, turn out.
1:26:19
SPEAKER_05: That's ridiculous.
1:26:22
SPEAKER_05: That's so cool.
1:26:25
SPEAKER_05: Now cut the cameras so I can hear how it happened.
1:26:29
SPEAKER_00: I would explain, but Andrew wouldn't even understand.
1:26:34
SPEAKER_05: But I would.
1:26:35
SPEAKER_05: And Brandon would and Denise would.
1:26:37
SPEAKER_00: You have to suffer the consequences of others.
1:26:39
SPEAKER_05: I know.
1:26:40
SPEAKER_00: And you get the money, and you get the consequences.
1:26:46
SPEAKER_00: And you have to live with both.
1:26:48
SPEAKER_00: Well, that was very cool.
1:26:49
SPEAKER_00: Blew my mind.
1:26:50
SPEAKER_05: Amazing.
1:26:51
SPEAKER_00: Can you imagine if it had been shit?
1:26:54
SPEAKER_00: After being a magician for 35 years of my life, I come here and perform some awful piece of shit, Matt.
1:27:03
SPEAKER_00: Is that what you're expecting?
1:27:04
SPEAKER_00: Is that what you're saying to me that I exceeded your expectations?
1:27:08
SPEAKER_00: How low was the bar set for me today, Andrew?
1:27:12
SPEAKER_00: How low?
1:27:13
SPEAKER_00: You know, you've exceeded and exceeded again my expectations.
1:27:17
SPEAKER_00: That's the worst thing you can say right now.
1:27:18
SPEAKER_00: Why is that the worst thing?
1:27:19
SPEAKER_00: Because you're admitting that you expected nothing from me.
1:27:23
SPEAKER_02: I expect the worst, hope for the best, and it all works.
1:27:26
SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
1:27:26
SPEAKER_05: Janice, is this how he speaks to you?
1:27:28
SPEAKER_00: No, because I feel like she has bowel issues.
1:27:32
SPEAKER_00: It will be really mean.
1:27:33
SPEAKER_00: You don't want to upset her.
1:27:34
SPEAKER_00: Who's the person to see?
1:27:35
SPEAKER_00: Who's the act to see in my face?
1:27:37
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, we're circling back.
1:27:38
unknown: Well, I have a two person twenty and twenty six.
1:27:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's true.
1:27:50
SPEAKER_05: I want to see everybody, and I'm only twenty six.
1:27:52
SPEAKER_00: They want to watch streamers and Unsafe is fair.
1:28:01
SPEAKER_00: You see, we are not apart.
1:28:02
SPEAKER_00: How old are you?
1:28:03
SPEAKER_02: How old do you think I am?
1:28:04
SPEAKER_00: I don't care.
1:28:05
SPEAKER_00: I don't care.
1:28:06
SPEAKER_00: Just ask me.
1:28:07
SPEAKER_00: Just tell me.
1:28:08
SPEAKER_00: Just I don't want to have to work that hard.
1:28:10
SPEAKER_00: 41.
1:28:11
SPEAKER_00: You're 41.
1:28:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:28:12
SPEAKER_00: So you're with me.
1:28:13
SPEAKER_00: Me and you.
1:28:14
SPEAKER_00: Redundant.
1:28:15
SPEAKER_00: This is the world they're living.
1:28:16
SPEAKER_00: We didn't know that they didn't want to go out.
1:28:18
SPEAKER_00: That's true.
1:28:19
SPEAKER_00: We didn't know that.
1:28:20
SPEAKER_00: Janice.
1:28:21
SPEAKER_00: Closer.
1:28:22
SPEAKER_00: Closer to relevance.
1:28:24
SPEAKER_00: Not relevant.
1:28:24
SPEAKER_00: Closer to relevance.
1:28:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:28:26
SPEAKER_00: Knows.
1:28:27
SPEAKER_00: She knows.
1:28:28
SPEAKER_00: How do you how do you get to those 20-year-olds?
1:28:30
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
1:28:32
SPEAKER_00: Kill Tony.
1:28:33
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:28:34
SPEAKER_00: You go and kill Tony.
1:28:35
SPEAKER_00: But it's so mean.
1:28:38
SPEAKER_00: I'm still trying to get on it, but it's so mean.
1:28:40
SPEAKER_00: I hate, I hate all this mean.
1:28:42
SPEAKER_00: I hate all this roast shit.
1:28:44
SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry.
1:28:44
SPEAKER_05: You hate all this roast shit after what today has been?
1:28:47
SPEAKER_00: You know there's that thing of like the mirror.
1:28:49
SPEAKER_00: You hate most what you are.
1:28:51
SPEAKER_05: Oh.
1:28:52
SPEAKER_00: It's that.
1:28:52
SPEAKER_00: I love myself.
1:28:53
SPEAKER_00: That playing out live in front of you.
1:28:55
SPEAKER_00: Do you look at me and see yourself?
1:28:57
SPEAKER_00: Um, it's not that bad, no.
1:28:59
SPEAKER_00: It's close, not that bad.
1:29:01
SPEAKER_05: I mean, you guys are both like white men with gray hair.
1:29:07
SPEAKER_05: Similar.
1:29:07
SPEAKER_00: I can see why you keep her around.
1:29:10
SPEAKER_05: Similar.
1:29:13
SPEAKER_00: Is this the end when you turn on me for the money?
1:29:16
SPEAKER_00: Because he's because he owns.
1:29:17
SPEAKER_05: Oh, I'm not turning on you.
1:29:18
SPEAKER_05: I think we could be good friends, but only if we're a little mean to each other.
1:29:21
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's true.
1:29:23
SPEAKER_00: I like that, but when you're really good friends, when you can be mean to each other.
1:29:26
SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's the best.
1:29:27
SPEAKER_00: You can say, you can say, you can say that because you know, but the problem is that eventually you'll say something true.
1:29:32
SPEAKER_05: And then you have to say, you say, Oh, I meant it, but I'm sorry, and I still love you.
1:29:35
SPEAKER_05: And that's you move on.
1:29:37
SPEAKER_02: The worst.
1:29:37
SPEAKER_02: To me, I feel like I'm good, really good at conversing.
1:29:42
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
1:29:43
SPEAKER_02: Because of my parents.
1:29:44
SPEAKER_02: I feel like because my parents were so good at social situations.
1:29:48
SPEAKER_02: It's not their fault.
1:29:49
SPEAKER_02: Are you like your parents?
1:29:52
SPEAKER_02: Were your parents outgoing and social and quick-witted like you?
1:29:56
SPEAKER_02: Not at all.
1:29:57
SPEAKER_00: My dad's my dad was in insurance.
1:29:59
SPEAKER_00: My mum was a stay-at-home mum.
1:30:01
SPEAKER_00: And then she worked as a they're better people than me.
1:30:04
SPEAKER_00: They're much better people.
1:30:06
SPEAKER_00: And this is the thing when I was talking with Mumford and sons, they they are like they're just better.
1:30:13
SPEAKER_00: It's not everyone is equal and everyone is, you know, everyone has something in them that makes them special.
1:30:18
SPEAKER_00: No, they are just better people.
1:30:21
SPEAKER_00: I realized earlier on some people are better than others.
1:30:24
SPEAKER_00: My parents are better than me.
1:30:26
SPEAKER_00: Mum for the sons are better than me.
1:30:27
SPEAKER_00: I'm better than you.
1:30:30
SPEAKER_00: It's just the way it is.
1:30:32
SPEAKER_05: He also said I'm better than you.
1:30:34
SPEAKER_02: So everyone in this room.
1:30:36
SPEAKER_02: Everyone in the room.
1:30:37
SPEAKER_02: Funny how that works out.
1:30:38
SPEAKER_05: I do want to say something.
1:30:39
SPEAKER_05: So the show, right?
1:30:40
SPEAKER_05: It's called Hey Big Head.
1:30:42
SPEAKER_02: Your show.
1:30:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:30:43
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
1:30:44
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
1:30:44
SPEAKER_02: Why is it called that?
1:30:45
SPEAKER_02: Because when I was a child, I had a giant head and I finally grew into it.
1:30:48
SPEAKER_02: We say big heads like a dick, you know that?
1:30:50
SPEAKER_02: If you're a big head?
1:30:51
SPEAKER_02: Well, if that was the case, is that in American as well?
1:30:54
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
1:30:54
SPEAKER_02: But if that was the case, it would be true.
1:31:01
SPEAKER_05: No, to be fair, we do joke about, you know, he's got this giant ego, and that's why it's big head.
1:31:06
SPEAKER_00: Right, you joke about it because he has it.
1:31:09
SPEAKER_00: It's like your way of trying to tell him something that he needs to do.
1:31:12
SPEAKER_05: He's already taken a beating today.
1:31:13
SPEAKER_00: Is that my card?
1:31:14
SPEAKER_05: I really didn't want to give it back.
1:31:15
SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's mine.
1:31:17
SPEAKER_05: I thought like you were maybe gonna be nice.
1:31:19
SPEAKER_00: Making any money here.
1:31:20
SPEAKER_00: The least I can do is have my card back.
1:31:23
SPEAKER_00: In this economy?
1:31:24
SPEAKER_05: I know.
1:31:25
SPEAKER_05: In this economy, keep one card.
1:31:29
SPEAKER_00: Do you have a question?
1:31:30
SPEAKER_05: Nope.
1:31:31
SPEAKER_00: Where did you what would we do?
1:31:32
SPEAKER_05: I've run out of conversation.
1:31:34
SPEAKER_00: Can I go and eat?
1:31:34
SPEAKER_00: Let's go eat.
1:31:35
SPEAKER_00: You have a show tonight, though.
1:31:37
SPEAKER_00: We're not gonna go and eat together.
1:31:38
SPEAKER_00: We're going to Pink Cow.
1:31:39
SPEAKER_00: No.
1:31:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we're getting spicy Kung Pao chicken.
1:31:42
SPEAKER_00: Not on the menu.
1:31:45
SPEAKER_00: What's that?
1:31:46
unknown: They changed Pink Cow.
1:31:47
unknown: They changed us, and now it's last good.
1:31:49
SPEAKER_04: So you would have loved it.
1:31:50
SPEAKER_00: Well that's what Janice said.
1:31:52
SPEAKER_00: So I've been going there for I've been going there for seven years.
1:31:54
SPEAKER_00: So I guess no.
1:31:55
SPEAKER_00: They changed the chef seven years ago, so I never got it in the good time.
1:31:58
SPEAKER_00: But yeah.
1:32:02
SPEAKER_00: It's unbelievable.
1:32:03
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
1:32:04
SPEAKER_00: Good.
1:32:04
SPEAKER_05: Well, do you have anything you want to do?
1:32:06
SPEAKER_00: The other thing I like about it is I go there all the time and they treat us no differently.
1:32:11
SPEAKER_05: Do they know who you are?
1:32:12
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
1:32:13
SPEAKER_00: And they have no special treatment whatsoever for you.
1:32:15
SPEAKER_05: Love that.
1:32:15
SPEAKER_00: No discounts.
1:32:16
SPEAKER_00: You pay every time?
1:32:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:32:17
SPEAKER_00: Brutal.
1:32:18
SPEAKER_00: I quite like that sometimes.
1:32:19
SPEAKER_05: If you didn't pay every time, I would have a different opinion, probably.
1:32:22
SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
1:32:23
SPEAKER_02: You want it to be for the people.
1:32:25
SPEAKER_02: Do you like when you get comped at out, or would you rather just be depends on the situations?
1:32:30
SPEAKER_02: What do you mean?
1:32:31
SPEAKER_00: Like if there's pity behind it, I don't like that.
1:32:35
SPEAKER_00: You think people pity you often?
1:32:37
SPEAKER_02: I don't think anybody's gonna be pitying.
1:32:39
SPEAKER_00: There's pity involved.
1:32:40
SPEAKER_00: Do you think Janice sometimes people look on me with pity?
1:32:43
SPEAKER_05: I think Janice sometimes looks at you with pity.
1:32:45
SPEAKER_00: There you go.
1:32:46
unknown: They look at Jay with pity.
1:32:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there we go.
1:32:48
SPEAKER_00: They feel bad for Jay.
1:32:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:32:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's a circle of pity.
1:32:51
SPEAKER_00: They pity me, I pity you.
1:32:53
SPEAKER_02: It's you know, that's just the way the world works sometimes.
1:32:56
SPEAKER_05: Very circular.
1:32:57
SPEAKER_02: Boys and girls, this was fun.
1:33:00
SPEAKER_00: We're all did you get it?
1:33:01
SPEAKER_00: Did you get everything you needed?
1:33:02
SPEAKER_00: Is there anything else you need?
1:33:03
SPEAKER_00: Is anything going, God, I wish we'd have asked this?
1:33:05
SPEAKER_00: Not enough for the first time.
1:33:06
SPEAKER_00: Because we can do a short fire, we can do a short fire question round if you want.
1:33:12
SPEAKER_05: Let's start over.
1:33:13
SPEAKER_00: Let's just do it.
1:33:13
SPEAKER_02: Let's just start from the beginning.
1:33:14
SPEAKER_02: Go through the rest of the stuff.
1:33:15
SPEAKER_02: Start from the beginning.
1:33:16
SPEAKER_02: What's harder, making people laugh or creating tricks?
1:33:19
SPEAKER_02: Creating tricks.
1:33:20
SPEAKER_00: How long does it take to create a trick?
1:33:22
SPEAKER_00: Anything from immediately, which has happened like twice, where you've just had an idea and had everything for it, to two years.
1:33:30
SPEAKER_00: The jello trick where the watch is inside the peanut butter in the in the jello, that was about two years and$70,000.
1:33:36
SPEAKER_05: Is that the same trick as when the card ends up in the dog food?
1:33:38
SPEAKER_00: No, because otherwise they'd have the same words in them.
1:33:41
SPEAKER_05: You know what I mean?
1:33:42
SPEAKER_05: Same concept?
1:33:43
SPEAKER_00: It's not, is it?
1:33:45
SPEAKER_00: Because it's a different thing.
1:33:46
SPEAKER_05: I feel like you have to do the exact same thing with different.
1:33:49
SPEAKER_00: Is it the same concept?
1:33:50
SPEAKER_00: Don't listen, you're doing so well.
1:33:52
SPEAKER_00: No, this is a really reasonable one.
1:33:54
SPEAKER_00: This is a really reasonable one.
1:33:57
SPEAKER_05: This is a really reasonable one because it's just it's just two different props.
1:34:01
SPEAKER_00: It's not.
1:34:02
SPEAKER_05: But is it not the exact same method?
1:34:04
SPEAKER_00: No, why would it be the same method?
1:34:06
SPEAKER_05: Because you're saying you're putting a watch in jello version in dog.
1:34:09
SPEAKER_00: Do you mean effect?
1:34:10
SPEAKER_05: Yes, I don't know the right term.
1:34:11
SPEAKER_00: I know you don't.
1:34:12
SPEAKER_00: That's why I'm trying to help you.
1:34:13
SPEAKER_00: That's why I'm trying to say, don't go down to the.
1:34:16
SPEAKER_05: I'm not going down to his level.
1:34:17
SPEAKER_05: Mine was an educational question.
1:34:19
SPEAKER_00: Same effect.
1:34:19
SPEAKER_05: Okay, so yes, I don't know.
1:34:20
SPEAKER_00: But that's a bit like saying in comedy, is it a rug pull joke?
1:34:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but like 30% of jokes are rug pulls.
1:34:27
SPEAKER_05: I don't even know what that means.
1:34:28
SPEAKER_00: I know.
1:34:29
SPEAKER_00: That's why I'm explaining it.
1:34:30
SPEAKER_00: A showbiz.
1:34:30
SPEAKER_02: That's the showbiz terminology.
1:34:32
SPEAKER_00: Right.
1:34:32
SPEAKER_05: You know what, Piff?
1:34:33
SPEAKER_05: My question was fine.
1:34:35
SPEAKER_00: I don't know how Andrew feels.
1:34:36
SPEAKER_00: You're just heated.
1:34:37
SPEAKER_00: This is what he's been suffering, or this is what I feel when I ask somebody on my podcast and they answer back to me.
1:34:44
SPEAKER_00: It's just like, oh God, I want to die.
1:34:48
SPEAKER_02: Who's somebody on your podcast that you want that you haven't had on yet?
1:34:52
SPEAKER_00: On the new one, loads of people.
1:34:54
SPEAKER_00: We've only done like five episodes, six episodes, five episodes.
1:34:56
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:34:57
SPEAKER_00: So everyone apart from the five people we've had on.
1:34:59
SPEAKER_00: And most of those that have back.
1:35:01
SPEAKER_00: Who do you think is the hardest but most realistic guest you could have on?
1:35:04
SPEAKER_00: Shania Twain.
1:35:06
SPEAKER_00: Really?
1:35:06
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, she she likes Magic Dragons.
1:35:08
SPEAKER_00: She's come to our show a few times.
1:35:10
SPEAKER_00: That's pretty cool.
1:35:11
SPEAKER_00: She's really funny.
1:35:12
SPEAKER_00: She's really nice.
1:35:13
SPEAKER_00: She's like a nice nice person.
1:35:15
SPEAKER_00: So it wouldn't be like this.
1:35:16
SPEAKER_00: It would just be she'd be nice to me.
1:35:17
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'd hope not.
1:35:18
SPEAKER_00: No, it'd be really good.
1:35:18
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:35:19
SPEAKER_05: It would be just great, though, if she came on and started roasting the shit out of you.
1:35:23
SPEAKER_05: It'd be awesome.
1:35:23
SPEAKER_02: You hopefully have a whole new level of it.
1:35:25
SPEAKER_02: Another day of my life.
1:35:27
SPEAKER_02: I think I have one more question.
1:35:28
SPEAKER_02: I think we covered a lot of the questions.
1:35:30
SPEAKER_02: We did.
1:35:31
SPEAKER_02: Just not in order.
1:35:31
SPEAKER_02: Just definitely not in order.
1:35:33
SPEAKER_02: You've done America's Got Talent.
1:35:34
SPEAKER_02: You've done Ped, you've done Penn and Teller, you've done Hey Big Head Show, of course.
1:35:39
SPEAKER_02: Other than the shows that you've been on TV, what is a success that you probably that doesn't get talked about enough?
1:35:46
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that we did?
1:35:47
SPEAKER_05: That you've done?
1:35:48
SPEAKER_00: We won a show called TBS's Tournament of Laughs.
1:35:52
SPEAKER_00: It was on TBS during the pandemic, and it was us versus 31 other comedians, and you had to do a funny video each week, and we just went all out.
1:36:00
SPEAKER_00: That's crazy.
1:36:00
SPEAKER_00: Because it was like in the lockdown, we took all the money they gave us, which was like 10 grand a week, and I think went up, and we spent it all on videos.
1:36:06
SPEAKER_00: And we made these epic videos and we won and nobody saw it.
1:36:09
SPEAKER_05: Can you still find them online?
1:36:11
SPEAKER_05: You can yeah.
1:36:11
SPEAKER_00: What do you mean nobody saw it?
1:36:13
SPEAKER_00: Nobody got shit ratings.
1:36:15
SPEAKER_00: That's too bad.
1:36:15
SPEAKER_00: It got awful, got cancelled.
1:36:17
SPEAKER_00: They never made a second series.
1:36:19
SPEAKER_05: Well, that sucks.
1:36:21
SPEAKER_05: Can't wait to watch them though.
1:36:22
SPEAKER_05: I'm gonna spend the rest of my working day watching them.
1:36:25
SPEAKER_00: Well, it's only about it's only about 12 minutes of video.
1:36:29
SPEAKER_00: Because the video is only that.
1:36:30
SPEAKER_05: Watch it on repeat for the rest of my work day.
1:36:33
SPEAKER_00: I think that's all I got.
1:36:34
SPEAKER_05: I know.
1:36:35
SPEAKER_05: Bye Piff.
1:36:35
SPEAKER_05: This was great.
1:36:36
SPEAKER_00: But was it useful?
1:36:37
SPEAKER_00: Is it gonna is it gonna lead to change?
1:36:40
SPEAKER_00: That's my question.
1:36:40
SPEAKER_02: This is gonna lead to Matt Franco coming on our show next.
1:36:43
SPEAKER_00: Um he's a nice guy.
1:36:44
SPEAKER_00: Do you guys have a good one?
1:36:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he'd definitely come on.
1:36:48
SPEAKER_00: If he was free.
1:36:49
SPEAKER_00: He's a busy man.
1:36:50
SPEAKER_00: Nobody's gonna do it.
1:36:51
SPEAKER_00: You know, we're not gonna put something, we're not gonna say no to something to be here.
1:36:54
SPEAKER_00: Let's just put it that way.
1:36:55
SPEAKER_05: Well, yeah, that's I mean true.
1:36:57
SPEAKER_00: There's nothing I said no to.
1:36:58
SPEAKER_00: In fact, I forgot that I'd said yes to this.
1:37:01
SPEAKER_00: That's how no one the priorities were.
1:37:02
SPEAKER_05: Which is crazy because I was emailing with Janice yesterday.
1:37:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:37:06
SPEAKER_00: But luckily you did that, and so Janice told me to be here and I came.
1:37:10
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
1:37:10
unknown: I texted you yesterday about it.
1:37:12
unknown: I texted you today, I done about it.
1:37:13
SPEAKER_00: I know I've got a very bad memory.
1:37:15
SPEAKER_00: This is why we pay Janice the bigger.
1:37:17
SPEAKER_00: I was I was sick for four years in my twenties, very sick.
1:37:21
SPEAKER_00: What do you mean?
1:37:21
SPEAKER_00: Like deathly sick.
1:37:22
SPEAKER_00: I had uh chronic pancreatitis for four years.
1:37:25
SPEAKER_03: Holy shit.
1:37:26
SPEAKER_00: That I would like to say I got because of a uh birth defect in my pancreas, not because I drank myself to it, which is how most people get it.
1:37:34
SPEAKER_00: And so you get very little sympathy in a hospital with chronic pancreatitis.
1:37:38
SPEAKER_00: But I got it the good way, and um the good way is crazy.
1:37:42
SPEAKER_00: They uh give you these drugs, they they they they do this endoscopies all the time, and the drugs they give you make you forget the pain rather than not experience the pain.
1:37:54
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so you go through it, you just don't remember it, which is terrifying.
1:37:57
SPEAKER_02: That's scary.
1:37:58
SPEAKER_00: But I did it so many times, I believe it affected my short and long-term memory so much I can't remember anything that's happening um at any point in time.
1:38:07
SPEAKER_00: So I have to rely on people like Janice and others with bowel issues to tell me um where I'm supposed to be and when.
1:38:14
SPEAKER_02: Are you completely sober now?
1:38:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, uh I worked this out the other day.
1:38:19
SPEAKER_00: Uh 17 years.
1:38:20
SPEAKER_00: It'll be 17 years.
1:38:22
SPEAKER_00: Oh, it was 17 years the other day.
1:38:23
SPEAKER_00: I forgot to celebrate it.
1:38:24
SPEAKER_00: Oh on June 10th.
1:38:26
SPEAKER_00: June 10th was 17 years.
1:38:27
SPEAKER_00: Congratulations, yeah.
1:38:28
SPEAKER_00: That's incredible.
1:38:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was bad though, because when I stopped drinking, I became successful almost overnight.
1:38:33
SPEAKER_05: You mean they were correlated?
1:38:35
SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.
1:38:36
SPEAKER_02: Are you so busy now that you just don't have time to drink?
1:38:38
SPEAKER_02: Is that what I no?
1:38:39
SPEAKER_00: I could ruin my life for any day.
1:38:41
SPEAKER_00: You just choose.
1:38:41
SPEAKER_00: Any day I wish.
1:38:42
SPEAKER_00: I choose not to, one day at a time.
1:38:44
SPEAKER_02: Love that.
1:38:45
SPEAKER_02: Well, Piff, this was fucking awesome.
1:38:48
SPEAKER_00: Thanks, Andrew.
1:38:49
SPEAKER_00: This is a lot of fun.
1:38:50
SPEAKER_00: Thanks for thanks for having me.
1:38:51
SPEAKER_02: Thank you for coming on.
1:38:52
SPEAKER_02: Julie, you have any last words for our boy Piff?
1:38:54
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and uh, thank you, Julie.
1:38:56
SPEAKER_00: Did you say our boy Piff?
1:38:57
SPEAKER_00: Our boy Piff.
1:38:58
SPEAKER_00: You're our boy now.
1:38:59
SPEAKER_00: You're one of us.
1:38:59
SPEAKER_00: Our boy, whether you like it or not.
1:39:01
SPEAKER_00: One of one of our PSM who runs the show, he calls me brother, and I just shake my head whenever he does.
1:39:07
SPEAKER_00: Do you hate that?
1:39:08
SPEAKER_00: I don't hate it.
1:39:09
SPEAKER_00: I'm just like, I don't think you should be calling me brother.
1:39:11
SPEAKER_00: Why not?
1:39:11
SPEAKER_00: I pay every I pay his wages.
1:39:14
SPEAKER_02: Can I call you what's the right term to call you?
1:39:16
SPEAKER_05: Piff.
1:39:17
SPEAKER_02: Bloke?
1:39:18
SPEAKER_02: Can I call you bloke?
1:39:19
SPEAKER_02: Um Is that a thing?
1:39:20
SPEAKER_05: Isn't bloke offensive or no?
1:39:22
SPEAKER_00: Bloke's not great.
1:39:23
SPEAKER_00: Really?
1:39:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:39:24
SPEAKER_00: I mean I would expect it from you, but bloke's not great.
1:39:27
SPEAKER_00: I would honestly expect you to struggle with knowing what to call me.
1:39:31
SPEAKER_00: That's what you should call me.
1:39:33
SPEAKER_00: Something that you struggled to know.
1:39:37
SPEAKER_02: I got nothing.
1:39:39
SPEAKER_02: I've been tested.
1:39:41
SPEAKER_02: Alright, let's get out of here.
1:39:42
SPEAKER_02: Let's go get some pink cow.
1:39:43
SPEAKER_00: I got the same mouse as you.
1:39:44
SPEAKER_00: You like it?
1:39:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's a good one.
1:39:45
SPEAKER_00: It's got like the big one.
1:39:46
SPEAKER_00: Is that the three or the four?
1:39:48
SPEAKER_00: Uh three.
1:39:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, me too.
1:39:50
SPEAKER_00: I haven't upgraded yet.
1:39:52
SPEAKER_00: I haven't either.
1:39:54
SPEAKER_00: Well, when things are going better for both of us, we will.
1:39:57
SPEAKER_02: Gotta get an iPad for her, gotta get a new mouse.
1:39:59
SPEAKER_02: That is true.
1:39:59
SPEAKER_02: Catch new episodes each week on HeyBighead.com.
1:40:02
SPEAKER_02: This is fun.
1:40:03
SPEAKER_02: Bye.
1:40:04
SPEAKER_02: Bye bye.