Latest / Naughty But Nice with Rob Shuter / SPECIAL PODCAST: It’s Smart to Think about Winning, Not Losing
Transcript
- 0:13Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Welcome to the special weekend edition of The
- 0:17Speaker 1: Naughty but Nice Show. I'm your host, Rob Shooter, and
- 0:20Speaker 1: you probably know me as a gossip columnist and entertainment
- 0:23Speaker 1: reporter a level the tea or the dish on celebrities.
- 0:27Speaker 1: But I'm also a best selling author and one of
- 0:32Speaker 1: the world's most respected experts on change, on happiness, on habits,
- 0:38Speaker 1: and so for ten minutes each weekend, we put out
- 0:41Speaker 1: these special bonus podcasts, and we don't talk about celebrities.
- 0:46Speaker 1: In fact, we don't even focus on them, not one
- 0:49Speaker 1: little bit. What we do is talk about and focus
- 0:52Speaker 1: on you. Today's topic is it's smart to think about winning,
- 0:59Speaker 1: not losing. One positive thought at a time is the
- 1:04Speaker 1: only way to win the game of life. Hopefully, it's
- 1:09Speaker 1: a game we're all playing for a very long time,
- 1:12Speaker 1: so don't be in too much of a rush. In fact,
- 1:17Speaker 1: I want you all to slow down, to take a
- 1:20Speaker 1: breath and live each moment to its fullest while learning
- 1:26Speaker 1: the rules you're going to need to know if you
- 1:30Speaker 1: are going to win. To get the best results, you
- 1:34Speaker 1: need to play with a clear head. You wouldn't expect
- 1:38Speaker 1: to win a game of tennis or even can't if
- 1:41Speaker 1: you are feeling down, negative, and exhausted. So how can
- 1:47Speaker 1: you expect to win the most important game you will
- 1:51Speaker 1: ever play, the game of life without clarity. I have
- 1:56Speaker 1: played it both ways. I've played it with a negative
- 2:01Speaker 1: mindset and also a positive mental game, and trust me,
- 2:06Speaker 1: trust me, the latter is much much better. We all
- 2:11Speaker 1: know what it's like to be in a bad place,
- 2:14Speaker 1: a place where it is hard to believe that things
- 2:18Speaker 1: are ever going to get better, and they won't if
- 2:23Speaker 1: you are waiting for somebody to come and save you. Instead,
- 2:28Speaker 1: be the solution and start thinking about winning, not losing.
- 2:35Speaker 1: Barack Obama said the following quote. Change will not come
- 2:39Speaker 1: if we wait for some other person or some other time.
- 2:43Speaker 1: We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are
- 2:48Speaker 1: the change that we seek. I know this to be
- 2:51Speaker 1: true because I've failed at the game of life for
- 2:55Speaker 1: a really long time. I knew I needed to make
- 2:59Speaker 1: big change. I knew that nobody was coming to save me,
- 3:03Speaker 1: but I didn't know what those changes should be. That is,
- 3:09Speaker 1: until I allowed myself to start thinking about winning, not losing.
- 3:16Speaker 1: Playing a bad hand can be made better if you
- 3:20Speaker 1: make good choices, reject the negative voice, inside your head.
- 3:26Speaker 1: You know the one, that nasty voice that plants horrible
- 3:29Speaker 1: for it's nasty, lies, overstays, it's welcome, and never shuts up.
- 3:34Speaker 1: You know that voice. Arm yourself with a positive mental
- 3:39Speaker 1: game so that the moment you hear those negative voices
- 3:43Speaker 1: come in, you slam the door shut on them right away. Hey,
- 3:48Speaker 1: close the windows too, because negativity is all around us
- 3:53Speaker 1: all the time, and we have to protect ourselves. In fact,
- 3:57Speaker 1: it's so sneaky and so devious that you won't even
- 3:59Speaker 1: know it's there until you start to think about winning.
- 4:04Speaker 1: Then you will discover that, like all those horror movies,
- 4:09Speaker 1: the most dangerous voices are coming from inside the house.
- 4:13Speaker 1: Alicia Keys said the following quote, No one will take
- 4:17Speaker 1: care of you if you don't take care of yourself. Amen,
- 4:21Speaker 1: get into the habit of what I like to call
- 4:25Speaker 1: the positive mind game, a game that I play all
- 4:30Speaker 1: day long. The rules are simple. You need to challenge
- 4:33Speaker 1: yourself to be more positive in every aspect of your
- 4:37Speaker 1: life by considering the endless solutions rather than the mounting problems.
- 4:44Speaker 1: For example, my little adorable doggy Dorby Wolf Wolf Wolf
- 4:48Speaker 1: needs to go for a walk every morning. Get six
- 4:50Speaker 1: thirty am. Now I moved his dinner back, and how
- 4:53Speaker 1: I pushed it back an hour. So now this walk
- 4:55Speaker 1: is at seven thirty am, which is still an hour
- 4:59Speaker 1: before Daddy likes to get out of bed. However, after
- 5:02Speaker 1: months of moaning that there is no snooze button on
- 5:05Speaker 1: a dog, I started to play the positive mind game
- 5:09Speaker 1: and transformed the negative into a positive. Let me explain now,
- 5:16Speaker 1: in the morning, at seven point thirty, when I walk
- 5:19Speaker 1: down twenty fourth Street as the city starts to come alive,
- 5:23Speaker 1: wake up and stretch, it's actually kind of amazing. I've
- 5:27Speaker 1: got to meet people in my building who I have
- 5:30Speaker 1: never met before, and I've ended up actually becoming really
- 5:33Speaker 1: friendly with one of my morning neighbors and his beautiful
- 5:37Speaker 1: standard poodle, Hello Lola. Plus, I get an extra hour
- 5:42Speaker 1: each morning now to focus on myself before my phone
- 5:45Speaker 1: starts to blow up with all the breaking celebrity news
- 5:48Speaker 1: pouring in from around the world. It was during those
- 5:51Speaker 1: sixty extra minutes I now get every day that I
- 5:55Speaker 1: finally got to finish my book the forward answer it
- 5:59Speaker 1: would never have had. And if Darby hadn't got me
- 6:02Speaker 1: up in the morning to take him outside, I've come
- 6:06Speaker 1: to see my mornings now as a blessing living in
- 6:10Speaker 1: a city I adore knowing unconditional love from my little
- 6:15Speaker 1: boy Derby. I'm even slightly embarrassed to admit that, after
- 6:20Speaker 1: all these years of thinking otherwise, I'm actually a morning
- 6:24Speaker 1: person who knew and it's all because I chose to
- 6:27Speaker 1: look at doing exactly the same task in a totally different,
- 6:33Speaker 1: positive way. Change the way you think, and you will
- 6:38Speaker 1: change your life. Oscar Wilde said the following quote. The
- 6:42Speaker 1: optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the whole. See
- 6:47Speaker 1: the doughnut, my friends, And if you can't change your situation,
- 6:51Speaker 1: you can change your mind, which is exactly what I
- 6:56Speaker 1: did just a few weeks ago, jumping into a tank
- 7:01Speaker 1: car early one morning after walking Derby, feeling grumpy, tired,
- 7:05Speaker 1: and overworked. I was heading to Good Day New York
- 7:09Speaker 1: to talk with one of my favorite people in the morning,
- 7:12Speaker 1: Rosanna Scatto, about last night's Grammy Awards. There was literally
- 7:17Speaker 1: nothing wrong with this picture except my attitude. As we
- 7:22Speaker 1: shot up Eighth Avenue in a chauffeur driven card that
- 7:26Speaker 1: the show had provided, I put down the notes and
- 7:30Speaker 1: I looked out of the window it was a beautiful
- 7:33Speaker 1: day outside and I was about to ruin it. I
- 7:37Speaker 1: caught myself, and just like that, I stopped. I refocused,
- 7:43Speaker 1: and I thought about winning. Of all the entertainment experts
- 7:48Speaker 1: in the world, New York's Top morning show wanted me,
- 7:52Speaker 1: what was my problem with that. You can be angry
- 7:56Speaker 1: when you get the wrong order at Starbucks, or you
- 7:58Speaker 1: can be grateful you can afford a cup of coffee
- 8:01Speaker 1: that's six seven dollars. You can snap back when someone
- 8:05Speaker 1: pushes in front of you at the supermarket, or you
- 8:07Speaker 1: can shake it off and think about the delicious treats
- 8:10Speaker 1: you're going to have for dinner. The point is, smart
- 8:14Speaker 1: people understand that in a world where circumstances are out
- 8:18Speaker 1: of your control, you get to control the way you react.
- 8:24Speaker 1: Realize that the small decisions you make every moment add
- 8:29Speaker 1: up to define who you are in the big picture.
- 8:35Speaker 1: Stop getting in the way of your story and start
- 8:39Speaker 1: enjoying what is outside of your window. Henry Matisse said
- 8:43Speaker 1: the following, I love this quote. There are always flowers
- 8:48Speaker 1: for those who want to see them. I want to
- 8:51Speaker 1: see the flowers. I want to be that person. Here's
- 8:54Speaker 1: an exercise you can do that will help see if
- 8:58Speaker 1: you can go an entire without complaining. I know from
- 9:03Speaker 1: experience it's actually a lot harder than it sounds. Write
- 9:07Speaker 1: down every single time you can plain in the next
- 9:10Speaker 1: twenty four hours, and I promise you that by the
- 9:12Speaker 1: time you go to bed, you will complain one more time.
- 9:16Speaker 1: About how long the list is. Mine was over one
- 9:19Speaker 1: hundred and that was on a day that I considered
- 9:22Speaker 1: to be a pretty good day. Think about it. If
- 9:26Speaker 1: every complaint you have is just sixty seconds long, when
- 9:30Speaker 1: you complain one hundred times a day, one hour and
- 9:34Speaker 1: forty minutes is wasted on evading responsibility and finding a solution.
- 9:41Speaker 1: Jessica Simpson said the following quote, You don't have a
- 9:45Speaker 1: problem if the problem can be solved by doing something
- 9:49Speaker 1: about it. I would argue most of our problems can
- 9:53Speaker 1: go away if we do something about it. I remember
- 9:56Speaker 1: being invited to this really fancy book party David Zizenko.
- 10:00Speaker 1: It was at the Dream Hotel. You know him. He's
- 10:02Speaker 1: made a career out of writing those eat this, not
- 10:05Speaker 1: that books, Eat this, not that it's a franchise. He's
- 10:09Speaker 1: got so many of those books out that he has
- 10:11Speaker 1: created a little empire. We knew each other a little
- 10:15Speaker 1: bit professionally from being on the same daytime TV circuit,
- 10:20Speaker 1: but we weren't close friends. I had a lovely time,
- 10:22Speaker 1: and later that evening I found myself standing alone in
- 10:25Speaker 1: the bathroom, holding his book in one hand and the
- 10:30Speaker 1: secret of his success in the other. Dave was successful
- 10:35Speaker 1: not because he was telling people what they should and
- 10:37Speaker 1: should indeed, but rather because he was identifying a problem
- 10:42Speaker 1: and offering a solution. Replacing the bad with the good
- 10:48Speaker 1: was a brilliant idea. Inspired I realized that is exactly
- 10:54Speaker 1: what we need to be doing with the way we think.
- 10:57Speaker 1: The next time you have a bad, negative thought, replace
- 11:01Speaker 1: it with a good positive one. Pull that sucker out
- 11:05Speaker 1: that negative thought like it's a weed before it takes root,
- 11:10Speaker 1: and just as importantly, fill the hole it leaves behind
- 11:15Speaker 1: with a rose. It's not enough to just get rid
- 11:20Speaker 1: of the bad. We need to replace it with something good.
- 11:25Speaker 1: Think this not that. Think winning not losing. When she
- 11:33Speaker 1: replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start seeing positive results. Hey,
- 11:42Speaker 1: thank you so much for listening. I love doing these
- 11:44Speaker 1: short podcasts on the weekend. The response has been overwhelming
- 11:49Speaker 1: Because of this podcast. I was back on Gma talking
- 11:52Speaker 1: about the forward answer. We got back into the top
- 11:56Speaker 1: fifty bugs. It's amazing, so thank you everybody. I'm gonna
- 11:59Speaker 1: keep doing this podcast as long as you keep listening.
- 12:02Speaker 1: And let's sign off with our little signature. Remember, if
- 12:06Speaker 1: you're going to be naughty, you've got to be nice.
- 12:10Speaker 1: Have a great weekend, everybody, pip it. It's not even
- 12:14Speaker 1: nice with Rom.