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Transcript

Minisode: Couples Counseling with Sam Jay & Yanise Monét · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Couples Counseling with Chelsea hand Job. I'm here
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: with my friends yah Yah and Sam. Okay Hi's but
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: oh my god, guess we have a special tree. We
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: created a new segment for the podcast and the air
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: minisodes where we have different couples come on and we
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: talk to you guys. We go through some of the
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: things that I know are problems between the relationship because
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: of the time that I've spent with them, and some
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: other things that you guys provided us with which might be.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: You know, recurring problems.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: Okay, now, just this is We're with Sam and yah
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Yah finally in one room, and both of both Sam
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: and yah Yah have been on the podcast separate, individually,
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: and now they are sitting across from me with a
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: bottle of patron Repisodo.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I was supposed to be Don Julio, but anyway.
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: I was kind of disappointed.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: Sorry, at least I called for alcohol. I knew you
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: were gonna want alcohol, you know. Okay, so girls, we're
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: gonna start with my favorite topic. Sam fucking hates when
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: I do this shit because I riled yah Ya up.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: And for the those of you who may have missed
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Yahya's episode. She's a fucking piece of work. Okay, you
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: have to know her.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: You can hear her.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Once you hear her talk for five minutes, you're gonna
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: But she is tricky.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: She is tricky, and she is all woman, and she
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: is wearing the pants at the same time. And I mean, Sam,
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: I'm wearing the pants.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you are.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: You're wearing wearing you know, Sam seems like she's wearing
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: the pants. But really, through your psychodrama and the way
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: you are, you are wearing the pants.
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: Wow, thank you, Chelsea.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: Do you agree with that?
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: I do? Yeah, I absolutely Do you agree with that?
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: Yes, you're very manipulative. Well, I don't mean that in
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: a negative sense.
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: Well, how do I have am I supposed to take that?
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: Manipulative is not the right that's not a good term.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: That's not the right word.
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: She knows how to wield her power.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, manipulative.
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't say you're manipulative at all, baby. I would
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: just say you're aware of your.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: Feminine Yes, that's a great way to put it.
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: Well, then in that case, think you're a manipulative too,
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: because you are aware of.
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: Your feminine whiles.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm as aware of my feminine
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: wiles as you are. Mine's a different thing. Mine's more
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: of a masculine energy. Yours is a very feminine energy.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: And I think that's good because that makes you like
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: a real You're like very womanly.
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: I would say, Okay, I like that.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: I like that.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like yeah, I mean I was looking at her titty,
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: so I was like, oh, you.
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: Too, I like that too.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: But one of my favorite parts of your relationship is
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: that you guys have broken up and gotten back together
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: so many times, because I think that's a sign of
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: a real You're tried and true, you've run the gamut
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: of time. And Sam doesn't like this subject matter because
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: she's guilty of a lot of chainery bad things, right right, yeah, yeah,
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: bad things, and they're past that part of their relationship.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: But I think it's always fun to go back and
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: really you kind.
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: Of to relieve the trauma.
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: Cool, all right, let's go okay, well noble.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: But you you have to tell me your perspective of
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: from that, like how it was. You don't have to
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: get into details, but how you've grown and how your
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: relationship has evolved from then. To now and like your
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: trust level and your love level, all of it.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: Okay, would you like to start?
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: Oh no, she doesn't. Ever, she doesn't even want to finish.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: She doesn't want to start or finish.
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: I think that we had to we had to grow
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: back trust. But there are different times where I've lost
• 3:34
  Speaker 4: Marius trust as well, so I think it was a
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: mutual thing, just at different times. Hers happened later on
• 3:40
  Speaker 4: in our relationship, and mind happened in the beginning of
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: our relationship. M hm.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: And did you learn your lessons so to speak, when
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: you got caught?
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: Oh no, because I didn't get caught because I'm smart,
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: So I didn't do anything. We weren't together technically, in
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: my what we weren't together technically weren't we were dating,
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: We weren't in an exclusive relationship.
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: Right, Okay, I disagree, boy, okay.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: But well tell us your version of things.
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: Five versus of the things is. I came to Atlanta,
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: we said that we were going to be together. That's
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: what we said. And then I left to go home
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: under that understanding, And in two weeks you were dating
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: somebody else and lying to me about it and hiding it.
• 4:20
  Speaker 4: And I had to find out about it through a
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: friend of ours.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: So I mean that's what happened.
• 4:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but see it doesn't really that it kind of happened,
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: but it didn't really happen that way.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Okay, but no, respond to what she's saying, Well, my
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: version is around, like Stevie Wonder, You're like, what, what's.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: My version is? We weren't together, like we were dating,
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: but we weren't. But why when we said that.
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: We were going to be there we were don't get
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: But you can't agree to something and then go, well,
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: the bitch a here. So what I agreed to doesn't matter,
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: and I don't have to address what I agree to.
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: I could just go on and do whatever the fuck
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: I want and lie about it.
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: Hey.
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: Hey, hey, we've already been down there broad see see
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: look I've already apologized.
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: We're past this.
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: Okay, Well, we're just we're just revisiting trauma.
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: We just gotta say what you did. It's not me
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: saying it, like doesn't know what you.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Did, yeah, because you know what you could say, yeah,
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: y'all it's like, yeah, I'm totally guilty, and I.
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: Said that I wasn't a good person in the beginning
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: of our relationship. Okay, well, so not when we worked together,
• 5:20
  Speaker 4: because that is that is skirting some of what you did. Okay, Sam,
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: feels like we were together, and so we were together
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: at that time. In my head, I don't feel like
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: we was really together.
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: I don't feel like that.
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: But you know, I did probably tell her we were together.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: I can admit that.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: Okay, great, that's progress.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: Thanks, Now it's over forever, yes see?
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: And how did you regain your trust for y'all? Y'all
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: after that happened? Sam?
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: Oh, she never did anything like that again.
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: No, that's not true either. Oh my god, well it's not.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: Are you just finding out about this too? Mm hmm.
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: I don't think you're a good therapist.
• 6:08
  Speaker 4: You feel like after that that was the only time
• 6:10
  Speaker 4: you ever did anything rock shady like on that level,
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: or you do?
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: You are?
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: But that leaves yeah, yeah, even if you weren't up
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: to something, it seems like you're up to something.
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: But I'm not.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: I know you might not be, but it seems like
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: you are. I'm not because you have that flirtatious way
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: of going through life where you're like there's like a
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: twinkle in your eye, like you've got a sequel.
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: I'm just happy. Oh my gosh, that's just happiness. I
• 6:37
  Speaker 4: don't know, and I don't intentionally flirt. I may just
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: be like, hey, I don't flirt like that. Well, if
• 6:42
  Speaker 4: you feel like you didn't ever do anything ever again.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: Not on that level.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: You were flirting with Daniel, Vanessa's boyfriend.
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: And my god Daniel.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: She said I'm gonna fuck Daniel. I was kidding.
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: I really was not gonna Daniel.
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: I was just fucking with Vanessa to piss her off.
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: But I flirt. I was playing. You said you were
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: going to fuck Daniel too. I did.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: That would have been fun. That would have been really
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: something that I would have liked to see. Okay, with
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: this kind of relationship, you've managed to get through all
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: of that ship right, You've circled back to each other
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: how many times? To Mary's account, what was the longest
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: time apart you spend when you broke up when you
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: got married, Sam, But.
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: I think, yes, that's the longest time.
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: Well no, because I can we weren't together before that, see,
• 7:27
  Speaker 4: so see, and that's what I feel like.
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: I feel like we was together. You was just tripping.
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: We were together before I got married. In my head
• 7:35
  Speaker 4: when I called you and said.
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: Be with me and you said no. But in my
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: head we knew it was always it was not together.
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: I formerly said, hey, I'm tired of playing games and
• 7:47
  Speaker 4: I just want to be with you, and you said,
• 7:49
  Speaker 4: I'm still having my fun.
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: Girl.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: I've definitely heard this version before, so it must be true.
• 7:54
  Speaker 4: So then we weren't together, but we knew that we
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: had an understanding that we was going to be together.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: Oh we did, Yes, we did. I did not have
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: that black date do it.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, But it sounds like you had an understanding with yourself,
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: and I feel like you probably do that a lot.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: You have had a whole conversation with yourself and you're like,
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: this is what's going to happen. Oh, I have an
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: update for you that reminds me of asking people to
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: leave saying thank you.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: Remember how we.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: Were practicing how to get people out of your house
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: at a dinner party, and whose idea was it?
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: Was?
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: It?
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: Yours?
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: To stand up and say, well that was oh no,
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: we were telling you tell me to do it. It
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: was fortune right. She was like, yes, well did you
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: do it?
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: You tried it.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: I have done it a couple of times and what
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: happened they got to be left, I mean, but I'm
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: it's pretty clear what I mean anyway. It's not like
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: I had to work on that, like telling people it's
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: a wrap for the night.
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: I don't think I've had to do that since we
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: got back. I don't think I've had.
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: To do that.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: We haven't had a dinner party, all right, because you're
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: too busy buying new furniture.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: I mean that.
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: And also we've just been busy, so I just haven't
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: had time, like to plan it out.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: And cook and stuff and invite people to have people over.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: That's actually a good thing to discussed because you both
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: have different, very different viewpoints about having company over, which
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: I'll break down for you what happens. Sam has friends
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: over comics probably, and then they stay over till like two, three,
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: six in the morning, and yeah, yeah, and then Sam
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: goes to the comedy seller or whatever comedy club to
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: run her set and.
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: Leave me with the company that I do not want
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: to entertain anymore. But I don't leave you. I told
• 9:25
  Speaker 4: them I'm the one who said that's a wrap. I
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: tell people is done. No, she just gets up and
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: be like, all right, y'all, I got a show and
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: it's like, oh oh, I'd.
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: Be like, all right, y'all, I got a show like
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: this is done.
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but people are still drinking and you but you
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: keep feeding them and giving them drinks. You don't go
• 9:40
  Speaker 4: because I think it's rude to be like, get up
• 9:42
  Speaker 4: and get the fuck out. Well, then that's why they
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: I think that's rude because see, I'm from the South.
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: I have Southern hospitality, unlike some people, I don't know
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: that there's Southern hospitality. I think that you don't want
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: to perceived a certain way, so you do things that
• 9:56
  Speaker 4: work against what you actually want, Whereas I don't care
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: about how I'm perceived because I know who I am,
• 10:02
  Speaker 4: so it doesn't really matter to me.
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: So I.
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: Do I do things that make sense for me, and
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: I don't put myself in precarious situations that I don't
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: want to be in. That sounded like a deg it did?
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: It did sound like a dig again. I don't think
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: you're a good therapist. I think you're doing worse work.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: I don't. I don't think I'm no.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: I think when you leave here, you're going to be
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: closer because you survived it together.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, I look at it that.
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: It's not a dig, like I'm just saying you said
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: I know who I am, so I'm saying I think
• 10:34
  Speaker 4: you know who you are too, But I don't think
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: you assert that I'm saying I know who I am.
• 10:37
  Speaker 4: So I know I'm not rude. I know I'm not
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: this to people. But if it's time for this to
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: be over, it's time to be over. And if your
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: perception of that is, oh, Sam is rude, that's on you.
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: That really has nothing to do with me.
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: But I'm not going to have you just sitting around
• 10:49
  Speaker 4: my house when I don't want you there, so that
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: you don't think something.
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: No, it's not that I just don't have them sitting there.
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: It's just like I just don't want to be rude and.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: Be like it is hard to say to someone and
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: get out like having a good time it's not right.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, exactly if you're having a good time.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: But it's also really like it I wish I was
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: more like Sam, like you would think I am, but
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: I'm not. It's like it's hard for me to like
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: not want to hurt because I feel like I'm like, oh,
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: they're gonna think I don't want to hang like I
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: always think I have to hang out. I have to
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: hang out even when I don't want to fucking hang out.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: I want to go home so I can relate to why.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: It's hard to say, but it is better to just
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: not give a fuck.
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: That's hard to do too, but I'm gonna try it.
• 11:26
  Speaker 4: I'm going to try that way Fortune told us to do.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: And just well, Fortune was like almost like someone impersonating
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: a person trying to teach us how to say goodbye.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: Remember it's very mister Rogers. Yeah, it's like and now
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: you're gonna say, stand up and puff your chance out.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: And say, okay, well that was a good night.
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: Something like that.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: But I learned.
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: I learned a lot, and you learned a lot apparently
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: because it worked when you tried it.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I did. And I'm in between the two of you.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: I usually, you know, I don't give a fuck about
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: a lot, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: when they're hanging out with me. And it's really fucking
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: annoying because you know, as a comic, you sometimes you
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: feel like you have to fucking be funny, and I'm like, yeah,
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: I want to smoke a joint and walk down the
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: street and like last night, my friend was like, let's
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: I'll walk you home from dinner. I'm like, please, don't like,
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: I just want to fucking walk down the street listening
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: to my music and not talking to a single person.
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: That's okay, Yeah, he's not wrong with that. Okay.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: Well, thanks for listening to this Week with Sam and
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: Yah Yah.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: You can check out Sam Jay who is on tour
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: now in cities all over the country and she's fucking funny.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: If you haven't seen her on The Roast or on
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: her own special, then go watch both of those her
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: specials on HBO Max now known as Max And then
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: you can follow Yah Yah at Vanity dot Vixen on
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: Instagram and TikTok and it is worth the follow because
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: she's up to some well shenanigans.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: I mean, you'll understand what I'm talking about.