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003 - Deep Waters · Selected Short Stories

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Speaker 1: Chapter three of The Man Upstairs story titled deep Waters.
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Speaker 1: This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in
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Speaker 1: the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please
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Speaker 1: visit LibriVox dot org. Recording by Mike Harris, The Man
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Speaker 1: Upstairs by P. G. Woodhouse Deep Waters. Historians of the
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Speaker 1: social life of the late Roman Empire speak of a
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Speaker 1: certain young man of Ariminum who would jump into rivers
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Speaker 1: and swim in em. When his friends said, you fish,
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Speaker 1: he would answer, oh, pish, fish can't swim like me.
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Speaker 1: They've no viminim Just such. Another was George Barnard Calendar
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Speaker 1: on land in his land clothes. George was a young
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Speaker 1: man who excited little remark. He looked very much like
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Speaker 1: other young men. He was much about the ordinary height.
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Speaker 1: His carriage suggested the possession of an ordinary amount of
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Speaker 1: physical strength. Such was George on shore. But of course,
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Speaker 1: remove his clothes, drape him in a bathing suit, and
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Speaker 1: insert him in the water, And instantly, like the gentleman
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Speaker 1: in the tempest, he suffered a sea change into something
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Speaker 1: rich and strange. Other men puffed, snorted, and splashed. George
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Speaker 1: passed through the ocean with the silent dignity of a torpedo.
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Speaker 1: Other Men swallowed water here a mouthful, there a pint anon,
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Speaker 1: maybe a quarter or so, and return to the shore
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Speaker 1: like floundering derelicts. George's mouth had all the exclusiveness of
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Speaker 1: a fashionable club. His breast stroke was a thing to
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Speaker 1: see and wonder at. When he did, the crawled strong
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Speaker 1: men gasped when he swam on his back. He felt
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Speaker 1: that that was the only possible method of progression. George
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Speaker 1: came to Marvis Bay at about five o'clock one evening
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Speaker 1: in July. Marvis Bay has a well established reputation as
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Speaker 1: a summer resort, and, while not bread perhaps in every
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Speaker 1: respect the paradise which the excitable writer of the local
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Speaker 1: guide book asserts it to be, on the whole, it
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Speaker 1: earns its reputation. Its sands are smooth and firm, sloping
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Speaker 1: almost imperceptibly into the ocean. There is surf for those
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Speaker 1: who like it, and smoother water beyond for those whose
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Speaker 1: ideals in bathing are not confined to jumping up and
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Speaker 1: down on a given jellyfish. At the northern end of
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Speaker 1: the beach there is a long pier. It was to
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Speaker 1: this that George made his way on his arrival. It
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Speaker 1: was pleasant on the pier once you had passed the
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Speaker 1: initial zareba of fruit stands, souvenir stands, ice cream stands,
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Speaker 1: and the lair of the enthusiasts whose aim in life
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Speaker 1: it was to sell you picture post cards, and had
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Speaker 1: won through to the long walk where the seats were,
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Speaker 1: you were practically alone with nature. At this hour of
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Speaker 1: the day. The place was deserted. George had it to himself.
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Speaker 1: He strolled slowly along. The water glittered under the sun rays,
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Speaker 1: breaking into a flurry of white foam as it reached
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Speaker 1: the beach, a cool breeze blue. The whole scenic arrangements
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Speaker 1: were a great improvement on the stuffy city he had left.
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Speaker 1: Not that George had come to Mavis Bay with the
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Speaker 1: single aim of finding an antidote to metropolitan stuffiness. There
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Speaker 1: was a more important reason. In three days, Marves Bay
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Speaker 1: was to be the scene of the production of Fates Footballs,
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Speaker 1: a comedy in four acts by G. Barnet Callender. For George,
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Speaker 1: though he would not have suspected it from his exterior,
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Speaker 1: was one of those in whose cerebra the gray matter
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Speaker 1: splashes restlessly about producing strong curtains and crisp dialog. The
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Speaker 1: company was due at Marvis Bay on the following evening
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Speaker 1: for the last spasm of rehearsals. George's mind, as he
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Speaker 1: paced the pier, was divided between the beauties of nature
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Speaker 1: and the forthcoming crisis in his affairs, in the ratio
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Speaker 1: of one eighth to the former and seven eighths to
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Speaker 1: the latter. At the moment when he had left London
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Speaker 1: thoroughly disgusted with the entire theatrical world in general, and
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Speaker 1: the company which was rehearsing Fate's Footballs in particular, rehearsals
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Speaker 1: had just reached that stage of brisk delirium when the
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Speaker 1: author toys with his bottle of poison, and the stage
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Speaker 1: manner becomes icily polite. The foot pills, as Arthur Mifflin,
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Speaker 1: the leading juvenile in the Great Play, insisted upon calling it,
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Speaker 1: much to George's disapproval, was his first piece. Never before
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Speaker 1: had he been in one of those kitchens where many
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Speaker 1: cooks prepare and sometimes spoil the theatrical broth. Consequently, the
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Speaker 1: chaos seemed to him unique. Had he been a more
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Speaker 1: experienced dramatist, who would have said to himself twas ever,
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Speaker 1: thus as it was, what he said to himself and
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Speaker 1: others was more forcible. He was trying to dismiss the
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Speaker 1: whole thing from his mind, a feat which had hitherto
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Speaker 1: proved beyond his powers, when Fate, in an unusually kindly mood,
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Speaker 1: enabled him to do so in a flash, by presenting
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Speaker 1: to his jaundiced gaze what, unconsidering he decided was the
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Speaker 1: most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. When a man's afraid
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Speaker 1: shrewdly sings the bard, a beautiful maid is a cheering
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Speaker 1: sight to see. In the present instance, the sight acted
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Speaker 1: on George like a tonic. He forgot that the lady
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Speaker 1: to whom an injudicious management had assigned the role of
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Speaker 1: heroine in Fate's footballs, invariably no doubt from the best motives,
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Speaker 1: omitted to give the cynical Roue his cue for the
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Speaker 1: big speech in Act three. His mind no longer dwelt
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Speaker 1: on the fact that Arthur Mifflin, an estimable person in
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Speaker 1: private life and one who had been a friend of
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Speaker 1: Visit Cambridge, preferred to deliver the impassioned lines of the
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Speaker 1: great Renunciation scene in a manner suggesting a small boy
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Speaker 1: and a sufferer from nasal Gatar. At that speaking a
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Speaker 1: piece at a Sunday school treat the recollection of the
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Speaker 1: hideous oppression and gloom which the leading comedian had radiated
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Speaker 1: in great clouds, fled from him like some grisly nightmare
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Speaker 1: before the Goddess of day. Every cell in his brain
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Speaker 1: was occupied, to the exclusion of all other thoughts, by
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Speaker 1: the girl swimming in the water below. She swam well.
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Speaker 1: His practiced eye saw that her strong, easy strokes carried
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Speaker 1: her swiftly over the swell of the waves. He stared, transfixed.
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Speaker 1: He was a well brought up young man, and he
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Speaker 1: knew how ill bred it was to stare. But this
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Speaker 1: was a special occasion. Ordinary rules of conventional etiquette could
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Speaker 1: not apply to a case like this. He stared more.
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Speaker 1: He gaped. As the girl passed on into the shadow
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Speaker 1: of the pier, he leaned further over the rail, his
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Speaker 1: neck extended in joints, much like a telescope. At this point,
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Speaker 1: the girl turned to swim on her back. Her eyes
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Speaker 1: met his. Hers were deep and clear, his bulging for
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Speaker 1: what seemed an eternity to George. She continued to look
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Speaker 1: at him, then turning over again, she shot past under
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Speaker 1: the pier. George's neck was now at its full stretch.
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Speaker 1: No power of will or muscle could add another yard
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Speaker 1: to it. Realizing this, he leaned farther over the rail,
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Speaker 1: and farther still. His hat slid from his hand. He
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Speaker 1: grabbed at it, and, overbalancing, fell with a splash into
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Speaker 1: the water. Now an ordinary circumstances, to fall twelve feet
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Speaker 1: into the ocean with all his clothes on would have
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Speaker 1: incommoded George a little. He would hardly have noticed it.
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Speaker 1: He would have swum ashore with merely a feeling of
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Speaker 1: amused self reproach, akin to that of the man who
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Speaker 1: absent mindedly walks into a lamp post in the street.
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Speaker 1: When therefore he came to the surface, he prepared, without agitation,
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Speaker 1: to strike out in his usual bold fashion. At this moment, however,
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Speaker 1: two hands grasping him beneath the arms lifted his head,
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Speaker 1: still farther from the waves, and a voice in his
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Speaker 1: ear said, keep still, don't struggle, there is no danger.
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Speaker 1: George did not struggle. His brain, working with the cool
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Speaker 1: rapidity of a buzz saw in an ice box, had
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Speaker 1: planned a line of action. Few things are more difficult
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Speaker 1: in this world for a young man than the securing
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Speaker 1: of an introduction to the right girl under just the right conditions.
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Speaker 1: When he is looking his best, he is presented to
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Speaker 1: her in the midst of a crowd and is swept
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Speaker 1: away after a rapid handshake. When there is no crowd,
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Speaker 1: he has toothache, or the sun has just begun to
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Speaker 1: make his nose peel. Thousands of young lives have been
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Speaker 1: saddened in this manner. How different was George's case. By
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Speaker 1: this simple accident he reflected as helping the good work.
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Speaker 1: Along with an occasional surreptitious leg stroke, he was towed shorewards.
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Speaker 1: There had been formed an acquaintanceship, if nothing more, which
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Speaker 1: could not lightly be broken. A girl who has saved
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Speaker 1: a man from drowning cannot pass him by next day
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Speaker 1: with a formal bow. And what a girl too. There'd
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Speaker 1: been a time in extreme youth when his feminine ideal
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Speaker 1: was the sort of girl who has fuzzy, golden hair
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Speaker 1: and drops things. Indeed, in his first year at the university,
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Speaker 1: he had said and written as much to one of
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Speaker 1: the type. The episode concluding with a strong little drama
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Speaker 1: in which a wrathful check exciting father had starred, supported
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Speaker 1: by a subdued, misogynistic son, which things, aided by the
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Speaker 1: march of time, had turned George's tastes toward the healthy,
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Speaker 1: open air girl who did things instead of dropping them.
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Speaker 1: The pleasantest functions must come to an end sooner or later, though,
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Speaker 1: and in due season. George felt his heels great on
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Speaker 1: the sand. His preserver loosed her hold. They stood up
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Speaker 1: and faced each other. George began to express his gratitude
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Speaker 1: as best he could. It was not easy to find
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Speaker 1: neat convincing sentences on the spur of the moment. But
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Speaker 1: she cut him short. Of course, it was nothing, nothing
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Speaker 1: at all, she said, brushing the sea water from her eyes.
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Speaker 1: It was just lucky I happened to be there. Oh,
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Speaker 1: it was splendid, said the infatuated dramatist. It was magnificent it.
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Speaker 1: He saw that she was smiling. You're very wet, she said.
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Speaker 1: George glanced down at his soaked clothes. It had been
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Speaker 1: a nice suit once, hadn't you better hurry back change
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Speaker 1: into something dry. Looking around about him, George perceived that
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Speaker 1: Sundry of the inquisitive was swooping down with speculation in
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Speaker 1: their eyes. It was time to depart. Have you far Togo?
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Speaker 1: Not far? I am staying at the Beach View Hotel.
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Speaker 1: Why so am I? I hope we shall meet again.
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Speaker 1: We shall, said George confidently. How did you happen to
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Speaker 1: fall in? I was I was looking at something in
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Speaker 1: the water. Oh I thought you were, said the girl quietly.
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Speaker 1: George blushed. I know, he said. It was abominably rude
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Speaker 1: of me to stare like that. But you should learn
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Speaker 1: to swim, interrupted the girl. I can't understand why every
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Speaker 1: boy in the country isn't made to learn to swim
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Speaker 1: before he is ten years old. And it isn't a
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Speaker 1: bit difficult. Really, I could teach you in a week.
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Speaker 1: The struggle between George and George's conscience was brief. The conscience,
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Speaker 1: weak by nature and flabby from long want of exercise,
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Speaker 1: had no sort of chance from the start. Oh I
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Speaker 1: wish you would, said George, and with those words he
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Speaker 1: realized that he had definitely committed himself to his hypocritical roll.
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Speaker 1: Till that moment, explanation would have been difficult, but possible.
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Speaker 1: Now it was impossible. I will, said the girl. I'll
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Speaker 1: start to morrow if you like. She waded into the water.
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Speaker 1: We'll talk it over at the hotel. She said hastily,
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Speaker 1: here comes a crowd of horrid people. I'm going to
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Speaker 1: swim out again. She hurried into deep water, while George
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Speaker 1: turning made his way through a growing throng of goggling spectators.
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Speaker 1: Of the fifteen who got within speaking distance of him,
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Speaker 1: six told him that he was wet. The other nine
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Speaker 1: asked him if he had fallen. Her name was Vaughan,
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Speaker 1: and she was visiting Marvis Bay in company with an aunt.
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Speaker 1: So much George ascertained from the management of the hotel. Later,
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Speaker 1: after dinner, meeting both ladies on the esplanade, he gleaned
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Speaker 1: further information to wit that her first name was Mary,
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Speaker 1: that her aunt was glad to make his acquaintance, liked
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Speaker 1: Marvis Bay, but preferred Throuville, and thought it was getting
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Speaker 1: a little chilly, and would go indoors. The elimination of
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Speaker 1: the third factor had a restorative effect upon George's conversation,
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Speaker 1: which had begun to languish. In feminine society. As a rule,
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Speaker 1: he was apt to be constrained, but with Mary Vaughan
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Speaker 1: it was different. Within a couple of minutes, he was
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Speaker 1: pouring out his troubles, the cue withholding leading lady, the
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Speaker 1: stick like Mifflin, the funereal comedian. Up, they all came,
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Speaker 1: and she, gently sympathetic, was endeavoring, not without success, to
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Speaker 1: prove to him that things were not as bad as
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Speaker 1: they seemed. It's sure to be all right on the night,
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Speaker 1: she said, How rare is the combination of beauty and intelligence.
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Speaker 1: George thought he had never heard such a clear headed,
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Speaker 1: well expressed remark. Well, I suppose it will, he said,
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Speaker 1: But they were very bad when I left Miflin, for instance,
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Speaker 1: he seemed to think nature intended him for a napoleon
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Speaker 1: of advertising. He has a bee in his bonnet about booming.
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Speaker 1: The piece. Sits up at nights when he ought to
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Speaker 1: be sleeping or studying the part, thinking out new schemes
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Speaker 1: for advertising the show and the comedian. His specialty is
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Speaker 1: drawing me aside and asking me to write in new
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Speaker 1: scenes for him. I couldn't stand it any longer. I
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Speaker 1: just came away and left them to fight it out
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Speaker 1: among themselves. I'm sure you have no need to worry,
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Speaker 1: she said. A play with such a good story is
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Speaker 1: certain to succeed. George had previously obliged with a brief
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Speaker 1: description of the plot of the foot Pills. Did you
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Speaker 1: like the story? He said tenderly, Oh, I thought it
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Speaker 1: was fine. How sympathetic you are, Coop, George glutinously edging
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Speaker 1: a little closer. Do you know? Shall we be going
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Speaker 1: back to the hotel? Said the girl. Those noisome creatures,
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Speaker 1: the hired murderers of Fate's Footpills, descended upon Marvis Bay
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Speaker 1: early next afternoon, and George, meeting them at the station,
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Speaker 1: in reluctant pursuance of a promise given to Arthur Mifflin,
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Speaker 1: felt moodily that if only they could make their acting
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Speaker 1: one half as full of color as their clothes, the
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Speaker 1: play would be one of the most pronounced successes of
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Speaker 1: modern times. In the forefront gleamed like the white plumes
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Speaker 1: of Navarre, the light flannel suit of Arthur Mifflin, the
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Speaker 1: woodenest juvenile in captivity. His woodenness was, however, confined to
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Speaker 1: stage rehearsals. It may be mentioned that once the run
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Speaker 1: of a piece had begun, he was sufficiently volatile, and
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Speaker 1: in private life he was almost excessively so, a fact
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Speaker 1: which had been noted at an early date by the
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Speaker 1: keen eyed authorities of his university discovery, leading to his
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Speaker 1: tearing himself away from Alma Mater by request with some suddenness.
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Speaker 1: He was a long, slender youth with green eyes, jet
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Speaker 1: black hair, and a passionate fondness for the sound of
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Speaker 1: his own voice. Well, here we are, he said, kicking
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Speaker 1: breezely at George's leg with his cane. Yes, I saw you,
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Speaker 1: said George, coldly, sidestepping the whole team, continued mister Miflin,
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Speaker 1: A bright body and train to the minute. What happened
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Speaker 1: after I left? George asked? Has anybody begun to act yet?
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Speaker 1: Or are they waiting till the dress rehearsal? Oh? The rehearsals,
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Speaker 1: admitted mister Miflin, handsomely, weren't perfect. But you wait, it'll
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Speaker 1: be all right on the night. George thought he had
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Speaker 1: never heard such a futile, vapid remark. Besides, said mister Miflin,
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Speaker 1: I have an idea which will make the show. Lend
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Speaker 1: me your ear, both ears, who shall have them back?
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Speaker 1: Tell me what pulls people into a theater? A good play,
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Speaker 1: well sometimes, but failing that is in the present case,
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Speaker 1: what fine acting by the leading juvenal. Ah, we have that,
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Speaker 1: but it's not enough. No, my boy, advertising is the thing.
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Speaker 1: Look at all these men on the beach. Are they
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Speaker 1: going to roll in of their own free wheels to
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Speaker 1: see a play like the foot Pills not on your life?
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Speaker 1: About the time the curtain rises, every man of them
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Speaker 1: will be sitting in his own private corner of the beach.
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Speaker 1: How many corners do you think the beach has, gazing
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Speaker 1: into a girl's eyes, singing shine on thou harvest mood,
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Speaker 1: and telling her how his boss is practically dependent on
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Speaker 1: his advice. You know, I don't, said George coldly, unless proceeded.
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Speaker 1: Mister Miflin. We advertise, and by advertise I mean advertise
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Speaker 1: in no right way. We have a press agent. But
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Speaker 1: for all the good he does, he might be back
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Speaker 1: on the old farm, gathering in the hay. Lucky for us,
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Speaker 1: I am among those present. I have brains. I have Reese.
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Speaker 1: What's that? I said? Nothing? Oh, I thought you did well.
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Speaker 1: I have an idea which will drag these people like
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Speaker 1: a magnet. I have thought it out coming down in
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Speaker 1: the train. Ah, what is it? I'll tell you later.
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Speaker 1: There are a few details to be worked upon first. Meanwhile,
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Speaker 1: let us trickle to the sea front and take a
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Speaker 1: sail in one of those boats. I am at my
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Speaker 1: best in a boat. I rather fancy nature intended me
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Speaker 1: for a Viking matters. Having been arranged with the financier
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Speaker 1: to whom the boat belonged, they set forth. Mister Mifflin,
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Speaker 1: having remarked you o in a meditative voice, seated himself
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Speaker 1: at the helm, somewhat saddened by his failure to borrow
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Speaker 1: a quid of tobacco from the ocean beauty's proprietor. For
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Speaker 1: as he justly observed, without properties and make up, where
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Speaker 1: were you? George, being skilled in the way of boats,
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Speaker 1: was in charge of the sheet. The summer day had
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Speaker 1: lost its oppressive heat, the sun no longer beat down
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Speaker 1: on the face of the waters. A fresh breeze had
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Speaker 1: sprung up. George, manipulating the sheet, automatically fell into a reverie.
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Speaker 1: A moment comes in the life of every man when
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Speaker 1: an inward voice whispers to him. This is though one.
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Speaker 1: In George's case, the voice had not whispered, It had shouted.
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Speaker 1: From now onward, there could be but one woman in
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Speaker 1: the world for him. From now onward, the ocean beauty
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Speaker 1: gave a sudden plunge. George woke up. What the deuce
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Speaker 1: are you doing with that tiller? He inquired, My gentle somnambulist,
17:59
Speaker 1: said mister Miffline, I was doing nothing with this tiller.
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Speaker 1: We will now form a commission to inquire into what
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Speaker 1: you were doing with that sheet. Were you asleep? My fault,
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Speaker 1: said George. I was thinking, Well, if you must break
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Speaker 1: the habit of a lifetime, said mister Miflin, complainingly, I
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Speaker 1: wish you would wait till we get ashore. You nearly
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Speaker 1: upset us. What sha't happen again? They're tricky. These sailing
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Speaker 1: boats turn over a second. Whatever you do, don't get
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Speaker 1: a broadside on. There's more breeze out here than I
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Speaker 1: thought there was. Mister Miflin uttered a startled exclamation. What's
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Speaker 1: the matter, asked George. Just like a flash, said mister Mifflin, complacently.
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Speaker 1: It's always the way with me. Give me time, and
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Speaker 1: the artistic idea is bound to come. Trust some little thought,
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Speaker 1: some little apparently obvious idea, which stamps the man of genius.
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Speaker 1: It beats me why I didn't think of it before? Why,
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Speaker 1: of course, a costume piece with a male star is
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Speaker 1: a hundred times more effected. What are you talking about?
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Speaker 1: I see now, continued mister Miflin, that there was a
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Speaker 1: floor in my original plan. My there was this. We
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Speaker 1: were talking in the train about the bathing down here,
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Speaker 1: and Jane happened to say she could swim some And
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Speaker 1: it suddenly came to me Jane was the leading woman,
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Speaker 1: she who omitted to give cues. I said to myself,
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Speaker 1: George is a sportsman. He'll be delighted to do a
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Speaker 1: little thing like that, like to do what? Why rescue Jane? What?
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Speaker 1: She and you said, mister Mifflin, we'll go in swimming together.
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Speaker 1: When I waited on the sands holding our bone headed
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Speaker 1: press agent on a leash, about a hundred yards from
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Speaker 1: the shore, up go her arms piercing scream agitated crowds
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Speaker 1: on the beach. What is the matter? What was happening?
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Speaker 1: A touch of cramp? Will she be drowned? No? G
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Speaker 1: Burnet Calender, author of Fate's Footballs, which opens at the
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Speaker 1: Beach Theater on Monday evening next at eight fifteen sharp.
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Speaker 1: We'll save her. See he has a He is bringing
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Speaker 1: her in. She is safe. How pleased her mother will
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Speaker 1: be and the public. What a bit of luck for them.
20:02
Speaker 1: They'll be able to see her act at eight fifteen
20:04
Speaker 1: sharp on Monday. After all, back you come to the shore, cheering, crowds, weeping.
20:09
Speaker 1: Women's strong situation. I unleash the press agent and off
20:13
Speaker 1: he shoots, in time to get the story into the
20:14
Speaker 1: evening paper. It was a great idea, but I see
20:18
Speaker 1: now there were one or two floors in it. You
20:20
Speaker 1: do do? You? Said, George. It occurs to me on
20:23
Speaker 1: reflection that after roll you wouldn't have agreed to it.
20:26
Speaker 1: A something I don't know what, which is lacking in
20:29
Speaker 1: your nature, would have made you reject the scheme. I'm
20:32
Speaker 1: certainly glad that occurred to Hugh. And a far greater
20:36
Speaker 1: flaw was that it was too altruistic. It boomed you,
20:39
Speaker 1: and it boomed Jane, but I didn't get a thing
20:41
Speaker 1: out of it. My revised scheme is a thousand times
20:44
Speaker 1: better in every way. Don't say you have another. Oh
20:48
Speaker 1: I have, and added mister Mifflin with modest pride. It
20:52
Speaker 1: is a winner. This time, I unhesitatingly assert that I
20:56
Speaker 1: have the goods, and about one minute from now you
20:58
Speaker 1: will hear me exclaim in a clear musical voice, the
21:01
Speaker 1: single word jump. That is your cue to leap over
21:04
Speaker 1: the side as quick as you can move, for at
21:07
Speaker 1: that precise moment, the spanking craft is going to capsize.
21:11
Speaker 1: George spun round in his sheet. Mister Mifflin's face was
21:14
Speaker 1: shining with kindly enthusiasm. The shore was at least two
21:17
Speaker 1: hundred yards away, and that morning he had had his
21:19
Speaker 1: first swimming lesson by a movement of the tiller. Will
21:23
Speaker 1: do it. These accidents are common objects of the sea shore.
21:27
Speaker 1: I mentioned that I can swim just enough to keep
21:29
Speaker 1: myself afloat, so it's up to you, dear boy. I
21:32
Speaker 1: wouldn't do this for Eryanda, seeing that we were boys together.
21:35
Speaker 1: Are you ready? Stop, said George. Don't do it. Listen?
21:41
Speaker 1: Are you ready? The ocean beauty gave a plunge, you
21:44
Speaker 1: lunatic a listen to me, jump, said mister Mifflin. George
21:49
Speaker 1: came to the surface some yards in the overturned boat,
21:51
Speaker 1: and looking round for mister Miflin, discovered that great thinker
21:55
Speaker 1: treading water a few feet away. Get to work, George,
21:59
Speaker 1: he remarked. It's not easy to shake one's fist at
22:02
Speaker 1: a man when in deep water, but George managed it
22:05
Speaker 1: for topense. He cried, I'd leave you to look after yourself.
22:08
Speaker 1: Oh you can do better than that, said mister Miflin.
22:11
Speaker 1: I'll give you throppence to tow me in. Hurry up,
22:13
Speaker 1: it's cold. In gloomy silence, George gripped him by the elbows.
22:18
Speaker 1: Mister Miflin looked over his shoulder. Oh we shall have
22:21
Speaker 1: a good house, he said. The stalls are full already
22:24
Speaker 1: in the dress circles filling work Away, George, you're doing fine.
22:28
Speaker 1: This act is going to be a scream from start
22:30
Speaker 1: to finish. With pleasant conversation, he endeavored to while away
22:34
Speaker 1: the monotony of the journey. But George made no reply.
22:37
Speaker 1: He was doing some rapid thinking with ordinary luck, he
22:41
Speaker 1: felt bitterly. All would have been well. He could have
22:44
Speaker 1: gone on splashing vigorously under his teacher's care for a week,
22:47
Speaker 1: gradually improving till he emerged into a reasonably proficient swimmer.
22:51
Speaker 1: But now, in an age of miracles, he might have
22:54
Speaker 1: explained away his present performance. But how was he to?
22:57
Speaker 1: And and then there came to him an idea, simple
23:01
Speaker 1: as all great ideas are, but magnificent. He stopped and
23:05
Speaker 1: trod water tired, said mister Miflin. Well take a rest,
23:10
Speaker 1: he added, kindly take arrest. No need to hurry. Look here,
23:14
Speaker 1: said George. This piece is going to be recast. We're
23:17
Speaker 1: going to exchange parts. You're rescuing me. Say never mind
23:21
Speaker 1: why I haven't time to explain it to you. Now,
23:23
Speaker 1: do you understand? No, said mister Miflin. I'll get behind
23:28
Speaker 1: you and push you, but don't forget when we get
23:31
Speaker 1: to the shore that you've done the rescuing. Mister Miflin pondered,
23:36
Speaker 1: Is this wise? He said, It is a strong part,
23:39
Speaker 1: the rescue of it. I'm not sure the other wouldn't
23:41
Speaker 1: suit my style better. The silent hand gripped the catch
23:44
Speaker 1: in the voice. You want a practiced actor for that.
23:48
Speaker 1: I don't think you'd be up to it, George, Never
23:50
Speaker 1: mind about me. That's how it's going to be, mister
23:53
Speaker 1: Mifflin pondered once more. No, he said at length, It
23:57
Speaker 1: wouldn't do You mean well, George, but it would kill show.
24:00
Speaker 1: We'll go on as before, will we, said George unpleasantly.
24:04
Speaker 1: Would you like to know what I'm going to do
24:06
Speaker 1: to you? Then? I'm going to hit you very hard?
24:09
Speaker 1: Under the jaw, and I am going to take hold
24:12
Speaker 1: of your neck and squeeze it till you lose consciousness.
24:15
Speaker 1: And then I am going to drag you to the
24:17
Speaker 1: beach and tell people I had to hit you because
24:19
Speaker 1: you lost your head and struggled. Mister Miflin pondered, for
24:23
Speaker 1: the third time, you are he said, I am, Then
24:28
Speaker 1: said mister Mifflin, cordially, say no more. I take your point.
24:33
Speaker 1: My objections are removed. But but he concluded, this is
24:36
Speaker 1: the last time I come bathing with you, George. Mister
24:39
Speaker 1: Miflin's artistic misgivings as to his colleagues's ability to handle
24:42
Speaker 1: so subtle a part as that of a rescue we
24:45
Speaker 1: were more than justified. On their arrival. A large and
24:48
Speaker 1: interested audience had collected by the time they reached the shore,
24:52
Speaker 1: an audience to which any artist should have been glad
24:54
Speaker 1: to play. But George, forcing his way through, hurried to
24:57
Speaker 1: the hotel without attempting to satisfy them. Not a single
25:00
Speaker 1: silent handshake did he bestow on his rescuer. There was
25:03
Speaker 1: no catch in his voice as he made the one
25:05
Speaker 1: remark which he did make to a man with whiskers
25:08
Speaker 1: who asked him if the boat had upset as an
25:11
Speaker 1: exhibition of rapid footwork. His performance was good. In other
25:14
Speaker 1: respects it was poor. He had just changed his wet clothes.
25:19
Speaker 1: It seemed to him that he had been doing nothing
25:21
Speaker 1: but changing his wet clothes since he had come to
25:23
Speaker 1: Marvis Bay. When mister Mifflin entered in a bath robe.
25:27
Speaker 1: They lent me this downstairs, he explained, while they'd dried
25:30
Speaker 1: my clothes. They would do anything for me. I am
25:33
Speaker 1: the popular hero. My boy, you made the mistake of
25:36
Speaker 1: your life when you threw up the rescuer part. It
25:39
Speaker 1: has all the fat I see that now the rescuer
25:42
Speaker 1: plays the other man off the stage every time. I've
25:45
Speaker 1: just been interviewed by the fellow on the local newspaper,
25:48
Speaker 1: his correspondent to a couple of London papers. The country
25:52
Speaker 1: will ring with this thing. I've told them all the
25:55
Speaker 1: parts I've ever played in my favorite breakfast food as
25:58
Speaker 1: a man coming up to take I photographed tomorrow footpills
26:02
Speaker 1: stock has gone up with a run. Wait till Monday,
26:05
Speaker 1: and see what sort of house we shall draw. By
26:07
Speaker 1: the way, the reporter fellow said, one funny thing. He asked,
26:10
Speaker 1: if you weren't the same man who was rescued yesterday
26:13
Speaker 1: by a girl. I said, of course, not that you
26:15
Speaker 1: had only come down yesterday. But he stuck to it
26:18
Speaker 1: that you were. He was quite right what I was.
26:23
Speaker 1: Mister Mifflin sat down on the bed. This fellow fell
26:27
Speaker 1: off the pier and a girl brought him in. George nodded,
26:30
Speaker 1: and that was you. George nodded. Mister Miflin's eyes opened wide.
26:35
Speaker 1: It's the heat, he declared finally that in the worry
26:38
Speaker 1: of rehearsals, I expect a doctor could give the technical
26:42
Speaker 1: name for it. It's a what do you call it?
26:44
Speaker 1: An obsession? You often hear of cases fellows who are
26:47
Speaker 1: absolutely sane, really, but cracked on one particular subject. Some
26:51
Speaker 1: of them think they're teapots and things. You've got a
26:54
Speaker 1: craving for being rescued from drowning. What happens, old mouth.
26:58
Speaker 1: You'll suddenly get the delusion that you can't swim. No,
27:02
Speaker 1: it can't be that, because you were doing all the
27:03
Speaker 1: swimming for the two of us just now. I don't know, though,
27:07
Speaker 1: maybe you didn't realize that you were swimming. George finished
27:11
Speaker 1: lacing his shoe and looked up listen, he said, I'll
27:15
Speaker 1: talk slow so that you can understand. Suppose you fell
27:18
Speaker 1: off a peer and a girl took a great deal
27:20
Speaker 1: of trouble to get you to the shore. Would you say,
27:22
Speaker 1: much obliged. But you needn't have been so officious. I
27:25
Speaker 1: can swim perfectly well. Mister Miflin considered this point, intelligence
27:31
Speaker 1: began to dawn in his face. Ah, there is more
27:33
Speaker 1: in this than meets the eye, he said, tell me
27:36
Speaker 1: all this morning. George's voice grew dreamy. She gave me
27:40
Speaker 1: a swimming lesson. She thought it was my first. Don't
27:43
Speaker 1: cackle like that. There's nothing to laugh at. Oh, mister
27:48
Speaker 1: Mifflin contradicted this assertion. Oh there is you, he said, simply,
27:53
Speaker 1: this should be a lesson to you. George, avoid deceit
27:55
Speaker 1: in future, Be simple and straightforward. Take me as your model.
27:59
Speaker 1: You have met managed to scrape through this time. Don't
28:01
Speaker 1: risk it again. You are young. There is still time
28:04
Speaker 1: to make a fresh stock. It only needs will power that. Meanwhile,
28:08
Speaker 1: lend me something to wear. They're going to take a
28:10
Speaker 1: week drying my clothes. There was a rehearsal at the
28:14
Speaker 1: Beach Theater that evening. George attended. It in a spirit
28:16
Speaker 1: of resignation, and left it in one of elation. Three
28:20
Speaker 1: days had passed since his last sight of the company
28:23
Speaker 1: at work, and in those three days, apparently the impossible
28:26
Speaker 1: had been achieved. There was a snap and go about
28:29
Speaker 1: the piece. Now the leading lady had at length mastered
28:32
Speaker 1: that cue and gave it out with bell like clearness.
28:37
Speaker 1: Arthur Mifflin, as if refreshed and braced by a salt
28:39
Speaker 1: water bath, was infusing a welcome vigor into his part,
28:44
Speaker 1: and even the comedian George could not help admitting, showed
28:47
Speaker 1: signs of being on the eve of becoming funny. It
28:51
Speaker 1: was with a light heart and a light step that
28:53
Speaker 1: he made his way back to the hotel in the Verandah,
28:56
Speaker 1: where a number of basket chairs. Only one was occupied,
28:59
Speaker 1: and he recognized as the occupant. I've just come back
29:02
Speaker 1: from a rehearsal, he said, seating himself beside her. Really,
29:06
Speaker 1: the whole thing is different, he went on buoyantly. They
29:09
Speaker 1: know their lines, they act as if they meant it.
29:11
Speaker 1: Arthur Mifflin's fine. The comedians improved till you wouldn't know him.
29:15
Speaker 1: I'm awfully pleased about it. Really, George felt damped. I
29:20
Speaker 1: thought you might be pleased too, he said, lamely. Of course,
29:24
Speaker 1: I'm glad that things are doing well. Your accident this
29:26
Speaker 1: afternoon was lucky too, in a way, was it not?
29:29
Speaker 1: It will interest people in the play you heard about it.
29:33
Speaker 1: I've been hearing about nothing else. Curious it happened so
29:36
Speaker 1: soon after, and so soon before the production of your play.
29:40
Speaker 1: Most curious. There was a silence. George began to feel uneasy.
29:45
Speaker 1: You could never tell with women. Of course, it might
29:47
Speaker 1: be nothing, but it looked uncommonly as if he changed
29:50
Speaker 1: the subject. And how is your aunt this evening, Miss Vaughan?
29:55
Speaker 1: Quite well? Thank you? She went in. She found it
29:57
Speaker 1: a little chilly. George hardly commended her good sense. A
30:01
Speaker 1: little chilly did not begin to express it. If the
30:04
Speaker 1: girl had been like this all the evening, he wanted
30:06
Speaker 1: her hand had not caught pneumonia, He tried again. Will
30:10
Speaker 1: you have time to give me another lesson to morrow?
30:12
Speaker 1: He said? She turned on him, mister callender, don't you
30:16
Speaker 1: think this farce has gone on long enough? Once in
30:20
Speaker 1: the dear dead days beyond recall when but a happy
30:23
Speaker 1: child George had been smitten unexpectedly by a sportive playmate
30:27
Speaker 1: a bare half inch below his third waistcoat button. The
30:32
Speaker 1: resulting emotions were still green in his memory, as he
30:35
Speaker 1: had felt then, so did he feel now, Miss Thawn.
30:39
Speaker 1: I don't understand, really, what have I done? You have
30:45
Speaker 1: forgotten how to swim? A warm and prickly sensation began
30:49
Speaker 1: to manifest itself in the region of George's forehead. Forgotten, forgotten,
30:55
Speaker 1: And in a few months I thought I had seen
30:57
Speaker 1: you before, and to day I remembered it was just
31:00
Speaker 1: about this time last year that I saw you at
31:02
Speaker 1: Haley Island swimming perfectly, wonderfully, And to day you are
31:06
Speaker 1: taking lessons. Can you explain it? A frog like croak
31:11
Speaker 1: was the best George could do. In that line, she
31:13
Speaker 1: went on, business is business, I suppose, and a play
31:17
Speaker 1: has to be advertised somehow. But you don't think croak, George.
31:23
Speaker 1: I should have thought it rather beneath the dignity of
31:25
Speaker 1: an author. But of course you know your own business best.
31:28
Speaker 1: Only I object to being a conspirator. I'm sorry for
31:31
Speaker 1: your sake that yesterday's episode attracted so little attention. To
31:35
Speaker 1: day it was much more satisfactory, wasn't it. I am
31:38
Speaker 1: so glad there was a massive silence for about a
31:42
Speaker 1: hundred years. I think I'll go for a short stroll,
31:46
Speaker 1: George said, scarcely had he disappeared when the long form
31:49
Speaker 1: of mister Miflin emerged from the shadow beyond the verandah,
31:53
Speaker 1: could you spare me a moment? The girl looked up.
31:55
Speaker 1: The man was a stranger. She inclined her head coldly.
31:59
Speaker 1: My name is Mifflin, said the other, dropping comfortably into
32:02
Speaker 1: the chair which had held the remains of George. The
32:05
Speaker 1: girl inclined her head again, more coldly. But it took
32:07
Speaker 1: more than that to embarrass mister Mifflin. A dynamite might
32:11
Speaker 1: have done it, but not coldness the Mifflin, he explained,
32:15
Speaker 1: crossing his legs. I overheard your conversation just now you
32:20
Speaker 1: were listening, said the girl, scornfully. For all I was worth,
32:23
Speaker 1: said mister Miflin, These things are very much a matter
32:26
Speaker 1: of habit. For years, I've been playing in pieces where
32:29
Speaker 1: I've had to stand concealed up stage, drinking in the
32:32
Speaker 1: private conversation of other people, and the thing has become
32:35
Speaker 1: a second nature to me. However, leaving that point for
32:39
Speaker 1: a moment, what I wished to say is that I
32:40
Speaker 1: heard you unknowingly, of course, doing a good man a
32:43
Speaker 1: grave injustice. Mister Callender could have defended himself if he
32:48
Speaker 1: had wished. I was not referring to George. The injustice
32:52
Speaker 1: was to myself. To you, I was the sole author
32:56
Speaker 1: of this afternoon's little drama. I liked George, but I
33:00
Speaker 1: cannot permit him to pose in any way as my collaborator.
33:04
Speaker 1: George has old fashioned ideas. He does not keep opreast
33:07
Speaker 1: of the time. He can write players, but he needs
33:09
Speaker 1: a man with a big brain to boom them for him.
33:12
Speaker 1: So far from being entitled to any credit for this
33:15
Speaker 1: afternoon's work, he was actually opposed to it. Then why
33:20
Speaker 1: did he pretend you had saved him? She demanded George's said,
33:25
Speaker 1: mister Mifflin is essentially a chivalrous nature at any crisis,
33:29
Speaker 1: demanding a display of the finer feelings. He is there
33:31
Speaker 1: with the goods before you can turn round. His friends
33:35
Speaker 1: frequently wrangle warmly as to whither he is most like
33:38
Speaker 1: Bayard Lancelot or happy Hooligan. Some say one, some the other.
33:44
Speaker 1: It seemed that yesterday saved him from a watery grave,
33:46
Speaker 1: without giving him time to explain that he could save himself.
33:50
Speaker 1: But what could he do? He said to himself, Well
33:53
Speaker 1: she must never know, and acted accordingly. Ah, but let
33:57
Speaker 1: us leave George and return. Thank you, mister Mifflin. There
34:03
Speaker 1: was a break in her laugh. I don't think there
34:05
Speaker 1: is any necessity. I think I understand now. It was
34:09
Speaker 1: very clever of you. Oh it was more than cleverness,
34:12
Speaker 1: said mister Mifflin, rising it was genius. A white form
34:16
Speaker 1: came to meet George as he re entered the verandah,
34:20
Speaker 1: mister Callender, he stopped. I'm very sorry I said such
34:23
Speaker 1: harried things to you. Just now. I've been talking to
34:25
Speaker 1: mister Mifflin, and I want to say I think it
34:27
Speaker 1: was ever so nice and thoughtful of you. I understand everything.
34:32
Speaker 1: George did not buy a good deal, but he understood
34:34
Speaker 1: sufficient for his needs. He shot forward as if some
34:37
Speaker 1: strong hand were behind him with a needle. But Miss Vaughan, Mary,
34:42
Speaker 1: I I think I hear aunt calling, said she. But
34:46
Speaker 1: a benevolent providence has ordained that aunts cannot call for ever.
34:50
Speaker 1: And it is on record that when George entered his
34:52
Speaker 1: box on the two hundredth night of that great London
34:56
Speaker 1: success Fates Footballs, he did not enter it alone, end
35:03
Speaker 1: of story number three, deep Waters recording by Mike Harris