Latest / Uncluttered and Unfiltered: The Podcast For Women Over 50 / HURRY SICKNESS AND IT'S EFFECTS ON WOMEN OVER 50

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HURRY SICKNESS AND IT'S EFFECTS ON WOMEN OVER 50 · Uncluttered and Unfiltered: The Podcast For Women Over 50

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Welcome to Uncluttered and Unfiltered, the podcast urging
2:12
you to let it go and don't look back, with nationally acclaimed
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professional organizer Christine Stone and self-proclaimed Hot
2:21
Damn Mess radio and TV personality Eden Kendall.
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Welcome everyone to Uncluttered and Unfiltered, the podcast for
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women over 50. My name is Eden.
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Christine Stone is here too, of course, and this is going to be
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a episode about something that one of us does a lot more than
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the other. Although when I started
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researching this, I think this speaks to me a.
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Little bit it does. Yeah, yeah.
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We're going to talk about being in a rush, always being in a
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hurry. And something that I researched
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and found out is related to that and it's called hurry sickness,
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which I have never heard of. So hurry, sickness, being in a
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rush, the cons of it. I wouldn't say the pros and cons
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because I think everything I've read points in the direction of
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this is not a good way to live. Your life?
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No, it's not. But I would have thought just
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simply because you are someone who always gives things time to
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breathe, you do not over schedule the way I over
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schedule. So I would not have thought of
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you as being somebody who feels that you rush around a lot.
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Well, I do rush around a lot, but I didn't realize it till I
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read all these examples. OK, so it was very I found this
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very interesting because a lot of times.
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So for me, I don't like to rush. So if I am rushing, that's why
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they spoke to me, because that's exactly what's going on when I'm
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rushing around. And these by these you mean the
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list that you found. Yeah, the traits and
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characteristics. Of somebody who?
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Yes, who's who's rushing around all the time, OK.
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And so I mean, even the first one, constant rushing, the need
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to do everything quickly and efficiently even when it's not
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necessary that that would speak to me for sure.
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OK. So I'm always, especially if
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something's coming up, like I'm going on a vacation, I'm having
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company at my house. It's the constant rushing to
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that event, to what's going to happen.
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And then in here, what I liked, You're missing life.
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Small moments when you do that. And I do feel that way
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sometimes, like I'm not stopping to enjoy what's going on because
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I'm too busy and too rushed and too hurried.
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How about you? Well, that is for sure the story
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of my life. And sometimes there, like you
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said, there's no reason to be in a hurry.
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Sometimes there is a reason to be in a hurry, but the reason is
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all my own doing. I over schedule, right?
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And many times and you know, we're in a three-year
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partnership now with this podcast almost.
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And one of the things I always say I'm getting the most out of
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it. I'm totally the winner in this
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situation because I'm learning behaviors that I've not
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experienced before, which is literally saying no to something
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just because it will make for too crunchy of a day.
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And that's the way my husband and I referred to days where you
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just have one thing after another after another.
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And we would say, oh, it's going to be a crunchy day.
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And you have always been pretty adamant that, well, let's, why
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don't we not do it on this day Because I'll have to rush off to
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this appointment if we do it that day.
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And my mindset has always been so rush off to the appointment,
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you know, so, so I'm learning to sit down.
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But but yeah, so, so the answer is yes, I do that.
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I well, I tend to make myself rush through things that don't
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require rushing. And what I learned from this is
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the anxiety that comes from it. And I do suffer from that.
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Like I think when I'm constantly rushing, I think the anxiety is
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you're going to disappoint someone.
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You're either going to be late. For me, that's crucial because I
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cannot stand when people are late.
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Now, there's exceptions to every rule, but I'm saying someone
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who's generally constantly late. So I am never late.
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And if I am late, I'm dead in a ditch somewhere.
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So you better call somebody. That's true.
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I've never once gotten to our meeting and you're not already
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sitting there. Yes, I'm early or I'm, I'm
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literally, I'm usually very early, which is probably
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annoying to some people too, don't get me wrong.
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But I just think that people's time is very valuable and to not
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respect that sometimes I at least that's what I have in my
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head. So I appreciate when someone's
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on time and I'm a businesswoman and I don't think people would
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like it if I was late. Sure, our houses to organize
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them. So anyway, so a lot of this felt
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very, very real. Especially when they talk about
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irritability. I feel like when I'm rushing I'm
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annoyed, you know what I mean? Like even in your car.
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Because somebody who is just living their life and doing
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their own thing and has no interest in what you're doing is
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slowing you down, right? So you're annoyed by them.
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And yes, especially in your car. I'm annoyed at a light, a
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traffic light. You're in my, you know, and if I
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had left my house 15 minutes prior or even if I still have
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plenty of time to get somewhere, I'm annoyed at anything that's
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going to slow, right? Right.
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That's so that's why I was saying I didn't realize till I
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started researching this that I'm almost textbook when I'm
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overwhelmed and trying to fit everything in and I'm rushed,
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that these are classic symptoms that I never even thought of.
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I really didn't even think of. This the irritability.
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And everything multitasking. I am the queen multitasker.
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I can multitask. I would say 10 things at one
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time if I had to, but it is it worth.
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It and why do you need? To and why do you need to?
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Why? Can't you just watch a show?
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Why do you have to also be doing?
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Exactly. Cleaning the kitchen and doing
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dishes and doing right. Doing a load of laundry while
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you're emptying the dishwasher, then you're on then.
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And I noticed this morning, part of this problem is because
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you're so accessible now to people because of text
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messaging. And I think that's part of the
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problem because sometimes when you hear that Ding like
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someone's, you're like, God, you know, what do they want now?
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Or who's who's dinging me now? You know what I mean?
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Because it's all day and into the night.
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And that's I know you silence your phone a lot and so does my
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daughter, but I never first of all, I can't figure out how to
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do that. Do not disturb things don't
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laugh at me, but but I put it on vibrate when I go to bed at
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night, you know, because I that would drive me crazy because
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you, I go to bed somewhere early.
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So, but that's one thing I think that goes in with this, that
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ever since technology, people can get in touch with you day or
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night, you don't get any reprieve at all.
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That's right. That's right.
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Oh, that it's 100% right. And that I now have a thing
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where I don't bring my phone upstairs.
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I will not allow myself to bring my phone upstairs because that's
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where I'll watch shows or that's where I'll because otherwise I
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will scroll or answer texts or answer calls.
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I can't tell you how many times I'm sitting watching ATV show
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with my husband and his phone will ring.
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Is mom home? I've been texting her.
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Well, yeah, she's sitting here next to me and I'm.
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That's by design, that. You're my husband because I
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always have my phone on my night stand because nobody can ever
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get in touch with him, so they know that I'm that person.
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If anyone needs anything, don't call him because he definitely
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is like you. I don't even think.
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I think he turns his phone off. Well, if I thought he I couldn't
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be reached then I would have it right?
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But since I know that there is a way for me to be.
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Reached exactly he. Probably by the people who can
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reach me through him. I think he feels the same way.
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Like call her. Yeah, Anyone else.
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If you're not somebody who has his number, I probably don't
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need to be reached. There's clearly no emergency,
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right? You know, I mean not a surgeon.
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Right. Well, the other thing is feeling
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behind schedule, like you're always behind schedule.
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You can never, it's like you can never catch a breath, right?
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Like you always feel like you're behind it.
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I didn't realize any of this until I started reading these
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things. Because sometimes I'll do
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speaking engagements, then I have clients, then I have social
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media and you feel like you could just never catch up.
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You're constantly have something to do.
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And you know me, I like to do nothing.
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Sometimes I'm a nothing person. You're all or.
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Nothing. I'm all or nothing.
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I'm like, you know, so, so I found that very interesting.
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And then this made me think of you neglecting self-care.
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Yes, not not self hygiene. Don't get, don't make a.
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Misty, I mean like the. Stopping or.
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Facials or getting your hair done, whatever it is, when you
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get really busy, you neglect yourself.
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See that I still, I, I, I don't compromise on that just because
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I see the benefits of, you know, really taking care of yourself.
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It gives you good mental health. Putting yourself last on the
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list right is not right in our best interest, especially as we
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age. Exactly.
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Especially as we age, I think, you know, once you start that,
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yeah. I mean we really should be at a
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point in our lives now where we are at the top of Rd.
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Right. That's what.
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And yet here we are still. I know here we are, still
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working a lot, still doing a lot.
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Relationship issues? Yeah.
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Struggling to connect with loved ones due to a constant focus on
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work and deadlines. Being in a hurry.
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Being in a hurry, yeah, like they'll be someone will be
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talking. You be like, wait a minute, wait
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a minute. I'm.
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I'm working on something I'm doing, you know it's constantly.
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Waiting can you stop and take a break?
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No. And there's you're already
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working past work hours, so it's not going to matter if you stop
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for 5 minutes and have a conversation with me, that kind
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of thing. Right, right.
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Exactly. Well, I mean you would be
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surprised to know that if you Google hurry sickness, you will
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find that there has been a lot of research into this very
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topic. I believe it after reading these
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things. I believe it because I think
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during COVID and everyone was home, they were able to relax.
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But now that everyone's back to normal, it seems like this the
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problem has really come back again a lot.
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So let me tell you about some of the physical ailments.
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We can return to your list. But there are some physical
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ailments too that are caused by hurry.
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Sickness. It's always being in a rush.
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Chronic stress can manifest as headaches, stomach issues,
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difficulty sleeping and weakened immune system.
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Focusing on speed can make it difficult to be present.
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You did mention that too. Irritability.
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You mentioned relationship strain.
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You just mentioned the difficult collaborating.
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People have a hard time collaborating with other people
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because they feel like they could just hurry up and do it
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faster, right? And that's.
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Me. That is something that goes back
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a long way for me. Even with like school group
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projects. You feel like, listen, I could
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just knock this out. Me too.
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Let me just knock this out. Please.
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Let me just do it. Well, I would always have been
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that person. Like, if you want something
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done, just do it yourself because you know it'll get done.
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You know what I mean, right? And I don't, I agree with you.
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I don't think that's a way to. Let me guess, you're robably
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multitasking while listening to this podcast, aren't you?
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Of course you are. It can cause sub optimal
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decision making. Of course it can.
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If you're in a hurry. If you're making decisions in a
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rush, then you're obviously not putting in the time to reflect
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and really decide what needs to happen.
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It can reduce your creativity if you're just trying to knock it
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out. Are you going to be able to
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really put the spin on it that it might require decreasing your
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ability to learn if you're rushing through something?
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I totally agree with that. You aren't learning.
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So, and I can give you an example and I'm making this up
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as I go along, but an example could be, let's say you have
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Christine over to organize your closet with you.
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It would be she might feel like, can you step out and let me just
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do this? And I might be like, let me step
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out and let you just do this. But the fact is, I won't learn
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and maintain if I don't let us slow down and watch carefully
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and participate and be a part of it.
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I could go for the quick way or I could go for the way in which
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I can actually open up my brain and, and let in some learning
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mistakes and errors, obviously when you're in a hurry.
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And so I think that I think that you and I probably did a lot of
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the same, same Googling because I have a lot of the same things
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on my list. But that's really it.
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It's about, So what can we do about it?
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What, what can we, if we're conscious of it now and we're
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thinking, I think I was trying to think, what can we do about
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it? And so I think going through
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your day, like for me, I have a list and I know you make lists,
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but I have a daily list. What things can I move off that
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list even if I have to put them three weeks out?
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Do I need to do all of this today?
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Does it have to happen today? Do I have to make a doctor's
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appointment to slide right in between two other meetings I
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have, or can I just move it out? Well, it all depends which
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doctor appointment it is. Yeah, and sometimes you got to
17:43
grab it because you won't be able to.
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Write I was going to say I think also just we've talked about
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this before, though, is learning to say no and over scheduling
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yourself because you know, like you texted me the other night
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about about something and I said I can't do it tonight, even
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though I probably could have sure, but I wouldn't have felt
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that I could give you my all and because I'm that type of person
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right. I was like, I'll just be giving
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her half of me, not the whole of me, and I want.
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But you wouldn't just be doing it to me, you'd be doing it to
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the other people. You were doing a project, right?
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It was, I asked if you would be free to record an episode,
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right? We're going to try to do some
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Zoom stuff, right? And you at first thought you
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said, oh, you said I'm giving a PowerPoint presentation.
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And I really, I, if I have the extra time, that's where I want
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to put my focus. So you in fact, would be not
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just cheating me, but you'd be cheating the people who you're
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about to present to. Right.
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And also, I don't know about you with age, but for me, as I've
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aged and I'm like I said, I'm few years older than you, I
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think putting too much on the plate, you will get some of
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these illnesses because you get tired, you don't, you don't
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rejuvenate, you don't have the energy you used to have.
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So then that kind of depresses you where you're like, I used to
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be able to do all this. I used to be able to fit 10
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things in in a day. So I think just really learning
19:15
the art of I can give you my all my best if we do it on this day,
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you know what I mean? And then you're not feeling bad
19:23
about yourself either. Part of it is taking into
19:26
account what your emotions are going to be in that time block.
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So and I know it's really hard to do and you have to be really
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in tune with yourself to do this.
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I'm not proclaiming that I am there yet, but if you were to
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say, let's just say you had, you get scan anxiety.
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We've talked about this. If you're having a test at any
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kind of like a mammogram or anything like that, you get a
19:49
lot of anxiety the night before. So even just accounting for
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that, let's say I said, hey, do you want to get together to have
19:55
a meeting from 7:00 to 9:00 tomorrow night to do a recording
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session? If you know that you have a test
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the first thing in the morning, it's not like there's something
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you have to specifically do for that test.
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But you are saying, listen, I know where my mental statement
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will be that night. So I'm not going to block.
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I'm not going to put the time in.
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I'm going to just not. And there was another thing I
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read in my research about this topic, and that was some people,
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because we all look at time differently.
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We all experience time differently and.
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I'm the kind of person where I have a really hard time not
20:29
feeling like my day is ruined if I have something I have to do at
20:32
4:00 PM. Then the whole day shot like,
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OK, so like, let's say someone says, oh, oh, you're on vacation
20:39
that day, but so can you do a doctor's appointment at 3:30 PM?
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Well, now it is no longer a day that I have right, Even though I
20:46
could probably do anything. I agree though to that.
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So if someone said, hey, do you want to go on a out on a boat
20:52
all day? Well, I got to get back.
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I got to get and you know you will be, but your whole it's the
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way we view time. It's the way we're not thinking
20:59
of time incrementally like as though it's just, you know.
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Well, also when I was researching this, as you get
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older, you feel like you never have enough time yes.
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And so that you want to fit everything in because life is so
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fast and it goes so fast and there's not enough hours in the
21:17
day. So you make excuses by saying
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that like I don't know how long I'm going to be on this earth.
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I better do this. I better do that.
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And so I never realized that either, if you want to know the
21:29
truth until I saw it in writing, like it's true.
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You think as you get older, like I better do this because who
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knows how long I have left on this earth.
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Everything you like you said time is different for everybody.
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When we talked about doing this episode, we thought that's such
21:45
a simple thing though to say. What do you mean?
21:47
Do a whole episode about being in a rush?
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But once we started down the path, there is a lot out there,
21:54
a lot of research. So really, you know, our our ask
21:57
of you would be to look at your look at your days from a from an
22:03
outside looking in perspective and ask yourself, am I giving
22:08
myself time to breathe for one thing?
22:11
And also, am I giving myself time to enjoy or experience
22:16
emotions? Right.
22:18
Because I, you know, sometimes I don't know if you've ever had
22:22
this where you have this great vacation or trip planned, but
22:25
before that you have a busy work week.
22:28
Oh, I can't feel good and excited right now, right?
22:31
I can't even feel excited right now until I knock out this task.
22:35
Yep, this task and this task. Instead of being able to relax
22:39
and be excited, we are so driven by what's on the list.
22:44
Exactly. I, I totally, I'm leaving in a
22:47
few weeks to go out of the country and the amount of work
22:51
in the things going on before I leave are not allowing me to get
22:56
excited about our trip. And also, you know me, I packed
23:00
like 3 weeks before trip. So I'm already in packing mode.
23:04
And so it's rushing around. I got to do this before I leave.
23:08
I got to do that before I leave. So I found this very fascinating
23:12
right now for the things that are going on in my life right
23:15
now. Have you ever had this happen?
23:17
You have a list of things to do, let's say over the course of a
23:19
weekend, and then you rush and get them all done on a Saturday
23:23
morning. And then you're you've got a
23:24
whole free weekend then, and that's great.
23:27
And maybe that was what you intended, but then you're bored.
23:29
Oh my God, sometimes I know you're not, but I'm sitting
23:33
around. I'd rather have errands that
23:34
were gonna keep me. I'd rather have a long To Do
23:37
List than be sitting around. Doing yeah, that's my problem.
23:40
I I never, ever get bored. Ever.
23:43
I I love being a homebody. I love being at home.
23:47
And I think that's the thing. That's what makes this so fun
23:50
together because I love that you would even say that.
23:53
I can't even, I can't even imagine that like me saying I'm
23:58
bored and my husband's like you a lot.
24:01
We're all say to him, can you sit still for 5 minutes and
24:04
he'll say, what do you mean? I'm like you've gone for a run,
24:08
you've mowed the lawn, you've jumped in the pool.
24:10
Like it makes me dizzy. That's what I have to do.
24:13
I mean, I've talked about this before.
24:15
Like, I'll get all of my little chores done and then I'm just
24:18
sitting there like, what do you want to do now?
24:19
He says. Watch golf.
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Yeah, he's like. What Watch.
24:24
Golf. Watch it like on television,
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like as a activity that you're doing.
24:30
Right. Gosh.
24:32
Being in a hurry when there's no reason for it.
24:34
That's what we're talking about. Why make yourself be in a hurry
24:38
only to, in my case, be bored, Or in your case, to reduce
24:41
enjoyment of what it is you're doing?
24:43
That's what I noticed after reading all this and it really
24:47
honestly like I thought this weekend after reading all this
24:51
and doing the research on this, I'm going to just relax and do
24:55
nothing, not even pack. I know that's shocking to you,
24:58
but. I mean, that is shocking to me.
25:01
If you're not packed now for next year's winter break, I
25:04
don't even know. So I want to leave you.
25:07
Did we cover everything? Because I want to leave you with
25:09
a funny. Story, I think.
25:10
We did. We've got, we've got another
25:12
episode we're going to be recording after this.
25:14
And I don't want to throw every single fun story into that.
25:16
So I thought I'd share this one with you.
25:17
So I was at an event recently, I thought you'd love this.
25:20
I meant to kick off the episode with this, but whatever.
25:23
I'm at this event and it was a race, a running event, and we
25:28
finished the race and I did pretty well.
25:30
So there's a woman who's my age or older, and there's a young
25:33
girl in her 20s who's the social media director for the company
25:36
that is voting on the race for the nonprofit.
25:39
And she's very zippy and excited and just sweet.
25:43
Too sweet. Too sweet.
25:45
So sweet. And she says to me, without
25:48
knowing my age at all, she says, great job, you won that prize,
25:52
blah blah blah blah, 60 is the new 40, AM I right?
25:56
And the other lady says, you're not 60, are you?
26:01
And now I could have let this girl off the hook and said, no,
26:04
but I'm close enough. I mean, you know, we're not
26:06
talking about years away. And but instead I let it linger
26:10
in the air because that little girl needed to know that you
26:12
can't just throw that out there like that.
26:15
Saying to someone who's pregnant, who's not pregnant,
26:18
right? When do you do?
26:19
I mean, I'm not 60, so for her to go 60 is the new 40, AM I
26:23
right? Without knowing me?
26:24
I wanted her to be uncomfortable.
26:26
And I know that's mean, but you know, I mean, it was, I could
26:29
have very easily and very simply said, look, I'm not even 2 years
26:34
away from that. That's fine.
26:35
But I just kind of let it sit there and I went, no, no, I'm
26:38
not. What was her facial?
26:41
Experience just like a ghost, like a sheet.
26:44
She just went white as a sheet, like oh, oh, anyway, it was
26:47
funny. I thought it was funny.
26:49
I think that's hilarious. And I walked, I walked away.
26:51
And I said to my husband, do you believe it?
26:53
And of course, being a guy, he's like, well, it's not like you're
26:56
so far away and I'm like, you're not getting the point here.
26:59
She doesn't know how old I am. What does she know?
27:01
She doesn't know me. Exactly like an assumption.
27:03
So funny. Anyway, so that's just a little
27:06
venting I'm doing because that's what we can do in this forum.
27:08
I exactly. So every, everyone, we hope you,
27:12
you will take it down a notch, slow it down just a little and
27:17
remember this, getting it all done as quickly as possible,
27:22
even though you have nothing left to do and you're all done
27:24
with it, you can let that go. And don't look back.