Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / Babysitting Costs Blowout

Transcript

Babysitting Costs Blowout · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: How much should a babysitter cost, how much you're spending
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: on babysitters, or have you decided that babysitting is just
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: way too expensive and as much as you'd really like
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: to get some time away from the kids, have some downtime,
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: it's just not working out for you. Today on the
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Happy Families podcast, we discussed the topic of babysitting, creative
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: ways to get around having to pay for babysitters, how
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: you can get some alone time without the kids, and
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: when it really comes down to it, how much do
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: you need how deep do you need to dig into
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: your pocket to get enough money to pay for the babysitters.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Stay with us, that's next on the Happy Families podcasts.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to the Happy Family podcast, where you
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: get real parenting solutions every single day. This is Australia's
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: most downloaded parenting podcast where Justin and Kylie Colson. We're
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: the parents of six kids who have Kylie am I
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: right in saying this never quite been able to afford
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: a babysitter. Yeah, fair, I was thinking when we were pairing
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: this conversation, I was like, if.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: We were parents today, we would never go on a date.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, cost of living, cost of babysitting just just crazy.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: I want to share some stats with you that I
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: stumbled across that really put this into perspective. Get this,
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Australian parents spend Well, let me ask you, if you
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: were to guess how much money in millions across the
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: entire country, surveys suggest Australians are spending in total per
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: random on babysitting. Have a guess.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: Well, if I go back to my babysitting days, I
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: go back to.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: The last century here.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: I literally remember one family pulling out the money jar
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: like the loose change and counting out fives, tens, twenties
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: and one dollar coin.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah you're not talking about notes here, you no, No,
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: I've sent coins.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: And I think it came up to like seven dollars
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: and seventy five cents. I baby said, I put the
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: kids to bed, I fed them, I cleaned the kitchen.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: You were the perfect babysitter. I'm going to come back
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: to that. In a sec Australian parents spend one hundred
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: and eighty three point six million dollars.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: I was born in the wrong.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: Era annually on a much needed night off from their kids.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: Some research reveals the average cost of a babysitter across
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: the country. In Canberra, it's costing the most eighty six
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: dollars sixty per babysitting session. Tassi's pay the least at
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: forty three bucks seventy that's nearly half the price. Fascinating.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: So there's a there's an entertainment group called Kingpin that
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: we're looking at how much it's costing for babysitting. The
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: research showed that the average costs of a babysitter nationally
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: is sixty eight bucks per session. One parent reporter that
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: they spend five hundred dollars per night for their babysitter. Wow,
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: seven dollars seventy.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: Five for dinner, Holy smoked.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: Seriously so expensive. So we've got kids who are doing
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: some babysitting.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: Now, how do families do that?
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: Well, I asked everyone on Facebook and we're going to
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: come to that shortly. We asked everyone on Facebook to
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: tell us what they were spending on babysitting. And it's
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: a fascinating conversation. But you were getting paid seven bucks
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: eight bucks for an entire night, and you were the
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: kind of babysitter And this is what we've taught our
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: kids to do as well. You don't just watch the kids,
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: like once the kids are in bed, you're still being paid,
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: So put some stuff away, clean the kitchen, get some
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: order in the house, because those parents have been on
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: a date and they're feeling really good and they don't
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: want to come back to a mess. Like it feels
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: really nice to walk into the house and go, oh
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: my goodness. You didn't just watch the kids. You didn't
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: just sit on the phone stare at Instagram reels once
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: the kids went to sleep. You did some work for
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: us well.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: And you've got to come home and literally just put
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: yourself to bed.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: I also was really astonished by this research.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: Our children have not learned that skill.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: Babysitters sometimes are charging per child, so it might be
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: let's say twenty bucks an hour.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: I've also heard that they need to have a blue cart.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: I've got to have your working with children check, got
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: to have first aid, and when you have those things,
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: you get to charge more. So that all came out
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: in that research as well.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: My mind is blown.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: Because you're looking at it and just going, can someone
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: just watch the kids? Here are some amazing comments that
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: came through it.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: Can you understand, if you're leaving your kid for a
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: week behind and you're leaving it with somebody, you'd want
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: them to kind of be completely capable to deal with
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: whatever's coming on. But what do you think he's going
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: to get up to in the three hours you've gone
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: out for dinner.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah. The most liked comment of all the ones
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: that came up on our on our socials was this one.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: It came from Lisa Johnson, and she said this. It
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: was really thought provoking. Like part of me kind of
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: want to be a bit cringe because everything ends up
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: going through a similar lens. But the more I thought
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: about it more I thought, I think she's right, So
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: check this out. It that's what Lisa said. I understand
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: this post is really about how hard it is for
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: families to access time together, and I agree that many
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: families are struggling, but I also think that it needs
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: to be viewed through all wider lens. Babysitting and childcare
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: are often undervalued because caring work has historically been done
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: by women and seen as something natural rather than skilled
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: and demanding labor. Yet we are trusting someone with our
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: children's safety and well being. Many people wouldn't blink at
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: paying a gardener, a trades person, or a handyman much
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: higher hourly rates. I think it raises a bigger cultural
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: question about what kinds of work we value and why
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: caring for children is still so often treated as less
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: worthy of proper pay and respect. How do you react
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: to that?
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: Ah, I'm in two minds. I absolutely love what she said,
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: and I agree with it at every level. I guess
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: I was raised with the idea that if I got
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: paid for babysitting, that was lovely. But you think about
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: the people who need babysitters generally speaking, Yeah, they're young
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: couples who are starting out in life and often don't
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: have a lot of resources available to Well, there depends
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: completely unhinged and I know nothing.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: There are some couples who are in there late thirties
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: and they've built strong careers and they own their hose like,
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: they're very financially stable, and they've got a couple of
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: kids and they just won't have a night out, So
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: it's going to be a very different scenario for them.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: Context's everything here, Yeah, But the idea that you could
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: leave it to your children with somebody and for the
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: most part often a babysitting job is you have the
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: kids awake for maybe one or two hours if you're lucky,
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: and then you're putting.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: Them to bed and sitting on the couch doing nothing.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: So I love what she said. I love what she's highlighted,
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: but I also think that context matters enormously, and.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: For me, I just you seem more as a service.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it really is.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and we've kind of given our kids that opinion.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: After break, I want to go through a bunch of
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: other comments that are probably much more grounded in what
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: most families are dealing with most of the time, because
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: that I single that out because it was quite different
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: to what everybody else had to say, and like I said,
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: it got like three hundred and something likes and everything
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: else was like five or ten or fifteen or something
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: like that. So I wanted to share it because it
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: was quite a unique perspective, and it certainly it niggled,
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: It gave me pause for thought, and I love some
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: of it, and I also chaf a little bit at
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: some of it as well, But I really do like
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: it generally after the break, what most people are paying
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: and how people are getting around it when they don't
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: have the money to pay because everything costs so much,
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: and just think you can't get out. There are actually solutions.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: We'll talk about the next stay with us.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: We do use babysitters fairly.
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: Regularly for date nights and want to watch a movie.
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: Per night, probably around one hundred and fifty dollars a night.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: We're back into the Happy Families podcast. So glad you
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: joined us today. It's babysitting, Kylie. Let me go through
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: a couple more these comments. You add your flavor and
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: your touch as we go. Beth said, we don't pay babysitters,
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: but my sixteen year old daughter babysits. She generally charges
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: fifteen bucks an hour and reduces that to ten dollars
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: an hour once the kids are in bed. She's also
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: made the decision to cap it at fifty bucks for
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: a night for friends that she babysits for, and she
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: is never short of work.
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I think that that's totally fair.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: That actually sits in really neatly with your idea of service.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: If we go into that comment before, if you're paying
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: an adult to come into the house and look after
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: your children, and they have appropriate qualifications, then I don't
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: have a problem with paying them what you would pay
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: the gardener or the mechanic or whatever, right because this
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: person has gone out and set themselves up intentionally with
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: that skill set.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: And that's where Lisa's comment really.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: That's where it really helps the beautifully. When you're talking
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: about a fifteen, sixteen, seveneen year old kid, this is
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: generous because the child's saying, you're never going to have
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: to pay more than fifty bucks, So got and enjoy
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: yourself and don't worry about the babysitting money. And also,
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: if you're going to be less time, or you can
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: pay me less and once the kids are asleep, I'm
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: not even going to charge you so much because just
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: a body in the house. Although if she didn't do
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: the dishes, maybe she'd keep it at fifteen. Yeah. This
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: one here came from Haley, who said me and my friend, Oh, Hailey,
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: I can't help it. My mom was an English teacher.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: I just have to correct it. Should say my friend
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: and I Kyle is shaking it. Don't shot you, heead.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, it's on social media. I should have let
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: it go. I couldn't help it. My friend and I
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: don't have family close by that can help. So we
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: do a babysitting club once a month for each other.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: We take it in turns to put each other's kids
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: to bed and allow the other couple to go out.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: We try and schedule around events so we can help
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: each other with babysitting costs for fortieth birthdays or whatever else.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: The only problem now is the babysitting is free, but
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: a meal a date night every month is getting pretty expensive.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: Yes, that's mean I have to think outside the box
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: for those two.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so we have done some thinking outside of the
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: box on both of those. In the early years, we
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: did exactly the same thing. We had a wonderful couple
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: of friends and we just switch out, so one night
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: we'd have their kids and then another night they'd have
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: our kids. That way it allowed us to be able
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: to have our dates without having to pay for babysitters.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: I've listened to people over the years, and often they
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: have family around, but they're unwilling to ask grandma or
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: granddad to come and look after the kids because they
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: know they're going to feed them the wrong food.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: Going to launch on food, and let them stay up
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: late staring at screens.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and sometimes I think that we just kind of
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: make life harder for ourselves. If it's once a month
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: or even once a week, like, it's not the end
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: of the world. Grandma's there, She's taking care of them,
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: and it allows you to connect and strengthen your relationships.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: That's the main goal.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: One of my great regrets was coming home from a
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: date with you one night. Your parents had offered to
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: look after our kids, and when we walked in, it
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: was about forty minutes past bedtime and the kids were
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: all sitting there watching TV with your parents, and I
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: was impolite. I was really upset, and I wasn't concerned
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: about letting your parents see how up that I was
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: about it. I made a bit of noise, and the
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: teva went off and all that kind of thing. And
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: it wasn't until late that we got some more context.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: Your parents had said, let's watch a movie. It's going
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: to finish a little bit late, but as long as
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: you do the right thing, it'll be fine. And they
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: only had about eight minutes to go on the movie
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: when I turned it off in my self righteous anger,
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: and I regret that so much. I damaged my relationship
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: with your parents in that instance. I'm sure they looked
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: at me and just thought, this guy has no idea.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: The kids were miserable, they were upset, everyone went to
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: bed sad, and it kind of put a really horrible
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: end on what had been a really nice night out
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: for the two of us. And I really appreciate you
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: saying sometimes if you need help, just accept it, Like
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: if your parents are there, yeah, they're going to break
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: the rules. We really do get worried about the wrong
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: stuff sometimes. Okay, here's another one that I wanted to
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: share with you. This one comes from Catherine, who says,
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: we pay thirty dollars an hour for an experienced babysitter.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: They're a next daycare worker. They have their own kids,
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: so I'm confident that they can care to preschoolers. I
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: don't have family nearby. My husband travels for work, so
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: I need to back up back when I was a teen,
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: I was paid in Wi Fi access and snacks, which
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: I just thought was really drunk. And so they were
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: kind of the main themes that came up. There was
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: a bunch of people who were saying, well, it's this
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: much for a lovely person in their twenties with a
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: blue card. It's this much for a high school student.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: We don't use babysitters because it's too expensive. And then
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: there was one that blew me away from shan SHANEA.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: Wilson said somebody needed a babysitter in my town and
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: got quoted six hundred dollars for one three year old
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: boy for a wedding from three till eleven. Wow, you
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: must really like that couple that you're going to go
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: to that wedding for if you're going to spend six
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: hundred bucks just on a babysitter. And like I said,
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: there were a couple who said, the price goes up
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: with certain babysitters if you're getting more children. There And
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: lastly the one that I love and we've already touched
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: on it, but it's worth highlighting again Kaugh one word grandparents. Yeah,
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: all in cabs.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: I guess the challenge is for so many people, the
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: village that we once grew up with, the extended family
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: around aunties and uncles and cousins grandparents is not necessarily
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: everybody's experience, and it feels a little bit privileged to
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: even have access to that in today's day and age.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: All right, let's wrap this up I think we need
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: to just finish by recognizing that the babysitter is going
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: to charge you, let's say, thirty bucks an hour. The
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: restaurant's probably going to charge you one hundred and twenty
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: dollars for the meal if you're living a little bit
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: large but not going too crazy. So technically the most
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: expensive person at dinner isn't.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: There ouch, Yes, it's McDonald's.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: And we'll take the kids. I'll take the kids. They
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: not used to mean dinner in a movie or going
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: and having some sort of avengere. Now is dinner a
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: movie and a second mortgage to pay the babysitter. Oh
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: my goodness, extend the.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: Credit scream and to walk on the beach.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, with the babysitter.
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: No no, no kids allowed, no, no child free date night.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: But in all seriousness marriage advice, you do need to
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: invest in your relationship. You do need to take your
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: husband and wife a partner on a regular date. And
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: I think there's probably some value in being really good
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: to your parents, to the grandparents if they're around, because
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: they'll save you a lot of money if.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: You're a lot of money. Or our daughters finding that out.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the happy Family's podcast is produced by Justin Rulan
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: from Bridge Media. Mim Hammonds provides research and admin and
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: other support. If you want to join the conversation, go
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: to our Facebook page and let us know how you
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: deal with the babysitting challenges and we'll be back tomorrow
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: with more on the Happy Families podcasts