Latest / Donald Drumpf Theatre radio show / Donald Drumpf Theatre #247: The new/old president says, 'Relax, Or I'll Sue You'

Transcript

Donald Drumpf Theatre #247: The new/old president says, 'Relax, Or I'll Sue You' · Donald Drumpf Theatre radio show

• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's time again for Donald.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_03: Drunk.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_03: Theater.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_03: No one knows what is up or down.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_03: Jack or white.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_03: Legal or impeachable.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_03: Everything is make believe in Donald.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_03: Drunk.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_03: Theater.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_03: So let's pull the curtain back.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_03: We are controlling transmission, if we wish to make it louder.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_03: We will bring up the body.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_03: We can change the focus to a soft blur.
• 0:34
  You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance,
• 0:36
  of things and ideas.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_03: You've just crossed over into...
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_03: I hear it's fake news, but maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's fake news, okay?
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_03: Now, would I do that?
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 1:04
  The president of the United States has the authority to do what
• 1:08
  the president has
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_03: the authority to do.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_03: You will respect my authority.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_03: Respect his authority.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I've declared myself as king.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_03: I learned a lot from Richard Nixon.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_03: When the president does it, that means that it is not illegal.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_03: I could cause panic much better than even you.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_03: I could do much.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_03: I would make you look like a minor league player.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_03: So, Professor, would you say it's time for everyone to panic?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, I would get.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: The things that this show has called him,
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: this approach is,
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: I guess it's kind of like we're living in the twilight zone.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_03: Rest easy, Americans.
• 1:40
  If there's one thing we all know,
• 1:42
  it's that first they come for the undocumented migrants.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_03: And as long as nobody speaks out, they stop.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_03: Reincarnated,
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_03: I'm a stargazing Life goes on,
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_03: I need all my babies Woke up,
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: looking for the broccoli High key,
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: keep a horn on me,
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: thick of my seat IP ownership,
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: the blueprint is by me Mr.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Get Off,
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: I get off at my feet Uh-huh,
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: yeah,
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: uh-okay
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Mr. President, sir, the Prime Minister of Canada is here to see you.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: Mr. President, why are you placing these new tariffs on Canada?
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_03: What are you, some kind of dictator from the Middle East?
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_03: A dictator from the Middle East?
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, relax, guy.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just your average judge.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_03: Take Iraq's.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: The people of Canada will not be devalued like this.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, come on.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_03: You don't want me to bomb you like I did Iraq.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_03: I thought you just bombed Iran.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_03: Iran, Iraq, what the hell's the difference?
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_03: Relax, guy.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_03: Hey!
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_03: Hey!
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_03: What the fuck is this, Betty?
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_03: This is the painting you asked for, sir!
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_03: Why is my dick so small?
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_03: But that's the size it is in the photo!
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_03: Get this guy out of here!
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna sue you!
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna sue both of you!
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_03: Nobody makes fun of me and gets away with it!
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, Satan!
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want to right now.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_03: What?
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, relax.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_03: Come on, Satan.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_03: I've been working hard all day.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_03: You haven't been working.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_03: You've been doing your stupid memes and just fucking around.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_03: Come here again.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_03: Come on, Satan.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_03: You know you can't resist this.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_03: I can't even see anything.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_03: It's so small.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_03: I'll fucking sue you.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_03: God, fuck you.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_03: Come on, Satan.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_03: Don't be like that.
• 3:40
  Come on.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_03: But let's begin tonight with a young man by the name of Donald Aloysius.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_03: Three weeks ago,
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_03: after repeatedly promising to release information on Epstein,
• 4:05
  the Trump administration abruptly announced no further
• 4:08
  disclosure would be
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_03: appropriate or warranted,
• 4:10
  and released a video it claimed disproved there was any foul
• 4:12
  play in his suicide.
• 4:13
  Though when a reporter pointed out a problem with that video,
• 4:16
  Trump's answer wasn't great.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_02: Can you see why there is a minute missing from the jailhouse team?
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, sure.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_03: Could I just interrupt for a second?
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_03: Sure.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_03: Are you still talking about Jeffrey Epstein?
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_03: That is unbelievable.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_03: Do you want to waste the time?
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_03: Do you feel like answering?
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: I don't mind answering.
• 4:35
  I mean,
• 4:35
  I can't believe you're asking a question on Epstein at a time
• 4:38
  like this.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_03: As you know,
• 4:42
  this young man has been embroiled in the Jeffrey Epstein sex
• 4:46
  trafficking scandal
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: and did what anybody who is innocent
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_03: When facing an accusation of this type,
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_03: did what anybody who was innocent would do,
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_03: he fled the country.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_03: He fled the country, taking a jaunt to bunny old Scotland.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_03: That's probably not the right accent.
• 5:24
  To leave his troubles in the United States behind and finally
• 5:27
  gain an ocean's
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_03: distance between himself and the Epstein scandal.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_03: and focus on his new trade deal with the EU.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry, yes, you there, from the Inverness Castle Times.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: You've got to be kidding with that.
• 5:56
  Doesn't anybody here have a question about this trade deal
• 5:58
  sinking both of our
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_03: economies with tariffs?
• 6:02
  How high do I have to make the tariffs before you guys shut the
• 6:06
  up about Epstein?
• 6:10
  But of course,
• 6:11
  how do you expect the media to move on when even Trump has
• 6:14
  trouble doing so?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_03: And so it was on the day of striking a trade deal with the EU.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_03: Donald Trump presented once more,
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_03: this time for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival,
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_03: his classic Epstein defense.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_03: 13 reasons why I'm not involved with a pedophile.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_03: Those files were run by the worst scum on earth.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_03: If they had something, they would have released.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_03: Now, they can easily put something in the files that's a phony.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_03: Which is why I can't release it.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_03: It's simple.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_03: If I, Donald Trump, was in the files, they would have released it.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_03: So clearly I'm not in the files.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_03: But of course, I'm clearly in the files.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_03: Which makes them phony.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_03: This is 60 Minutes.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, boy.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, shit.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, God.
• 7:13
  The small town of South Park,
• 7:14
  Colorado is protesting against the president.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_03: The townspeople claim that the president, who is a great man.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_03: A great man.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_03: Great guy.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_03: We know he's probably watching.
• 7:24
  And we are just reporting on this town in Colorado that's being
• 7:29
  sued by the
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_03: president,
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_03: and they are fighting back.
• 7:32
  In Trump's defense,
• 7:32
  he did end his relationship with Epstein in the aughts.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_03: Perhaps a look into why he ended it will exonerate Trump.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_03: That's such old history,
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_03: very easy to explain,
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_03: but I don't want to waste your time by explaining it.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_03: He did something that was inappropriate.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_03: What he said was Epstein had done something inappropriate,
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_03: and that's why they're no longer friends.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_03: You see, Donald Trump recognized that Epstein had finally crossed a line.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_03: Now,
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_03: if it were me,
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_03: obviously,
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_03: giving this explanation in front of reporters,
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_03: I probably would have stopped there.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_03: But since I am not...
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_03: And Trump went on to describe Epstein's inappropriate behavior.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_03: And wait till you hear, what was the Rubicon that Epstein crossed?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_03: He hired help.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_03: And I said, don't ever do that again.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_03: He stole people that worked for me.
• 8:35
  i said don't ever do that again he did it again and i threw him
• 8:38
  out of the place
• 8:40
  persona non grata sorry jeff underage sex trafficking is one
• 8:44
  thing but i draw the
• 8:45
  line at you stealing my omelet man okay he's the only one who
• 8:51
  knows i like ham yes
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_03: you all know him as jeffrey epstein the sex trafficker
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_03: But I knew his dark side.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_03: He was... I mean, the sex trafficking, I was like, okay.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_03: But he was also a low-level employee poacher.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_03: And that...
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_03: He said he's suing us for five billion dollars.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_03: Fucking stupid idiots.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_03: Think they can mess with me, huh?
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not in the mood right now.
• 9:48
  Another random bitch commented on my Instagram that you're on
• 9:51
  the Epstein list.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_03: The Epstein list?
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_03: Are we still talking about that?
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_03: Well, are you on the list or not?
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_03: It's weird that whenever it comes up, you just tell everyone to relax.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not telling everyone to relax.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_03: Relax, guy.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_03: No, I need counseling.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_03: You remind me more and more of this other guy I used to date.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_03: Like, a lot.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_03: Like, you guys are exactly alike.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_03: I love you.
• 10:23
  Trump's ego and narcissism are so central to his being that
• 10:33
  even his denial of
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_03: going to the island comes with a caveat.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_03: I never had the privilege of going to his island, and I did turn it down.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_03: Sadly, I never had the honor of dining with Jeffrey Dahmer.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_03: It just...
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, Donald, want to go to the island this weekend?
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_03: Well, first of all, Jeffrey, thank you for thinking of me.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_03: Unfortunately,
• 11:07
  that's the weekend that the teen pageant that I bought is
• 11:12
  installing the indoor
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_03: security locker room caverns.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, sir.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, thank you, Mr. President.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_03: We'll be happy to pay that, sir.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, sir.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_03: I will relax and I'll take a rest.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, thank you.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you very much.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, we settled.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_03: We settled, thank God.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_03: I got the president down to three and a half million dollars.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_03: Three and a half million, that's not so bad.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_03: That's really fair, I think that's fair.
• 11:44
  We'll just have to cut some funding for our schools and
• 11:47
  hospitals and roads,
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: and that should be that.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_03: But luckily for Trump, it wasn't all Epstein-related pressers.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_03: He was able to get in some of his beloved whack-a-ball.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_02: Mr. Trump, can you escape the Jeffrey Epstein crisis?
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_03: Is Epstein what they yell in Scotland instead of four?
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_03: Epstein!
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_03: Boy, this is tough.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_03: To extend the golf metaphor, Trump finds himself in the rough.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_03: But he's a championship-caliber golfsman, battle-tested.
• 12:32
  And I think we all know how the best golfers in the world get
• 12:36
  out of a bad lie.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_03: Donald Trump being busted, cheating at golf.
• 12:40
  We can see a caddy dropping a ball there for the president
• 12:43
  while he played at one
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_03: of his courses in Scotland.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_03: When the going gets tough, the tough pays someone to cheat for you.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_03: But this moment on the course,
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_03: seemingly random,
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_03: could not be more representative of Trump's entire existence.
• 13:02
  He moves with complete confidence in this world because he
• 13:05
  requires that everyone
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_03: in his orbit do whatever they can,
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_03: including cheating,
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_03: to ensure that things go Trump's way.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_03: This has been his whole life.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_03: Don't want to go to Vietnam?
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_03: Get a podiatrist friend of the family to bone spur you up.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_03: Your casino is failing?
• 13:21
  Perhaps daddy can illegally float you three million in chips to
• 13:24
  try and save it.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_03: Impeached for an attempted coup?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_03: Your caddy today is the Kentucky Fried Reaper.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_03: And obviously for the Epstein case,
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_03: Trump has no shortage of caddies willing to shame themselves.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_03: Here's Congressman Tim Burchett.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_03: Pre-Trump,
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_03: being named in the files.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_03: Congressman,
• 13:49
  why do you think so many Democrats are committed to protecting
• 13:53
  the list of a dead
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_03: pedophile?
• 13:55
  Too many of my colleagues,
• 13:56
  I'm afraid,
• 13:57
  are compromised in this area for whatever reason.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_03: The trash can is very deep.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_03: It's not a swamp.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_03: It's an open sewer.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_03: It's a sewer.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_03: Democrats are all over the plane logs.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_03: It's an open sewer.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_03: Trump was also on Epstein's plane.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_03: Need a ball drop over here?
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_03: You know,
• 14:18
  President Trump admitted that he flew on his dadgum plane just
• 14:22
  because somebody
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_03: flew on a plane doesn't mean they're a dadgum pedophile.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_03: Wow, you know what?
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_03: I always find that the worse it is the folks here they get.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_03: Well, Mr. Trump, he's not a daggone, gosh darn, dagnabbit pedophile.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_03: I mean,
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_03: kiss my grits,
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_03: I don't...
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_03: I'll guarantee you,
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_03: he's not using that terminology in other sex offender cases.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_03: Well, gosh darn, if Diddy ain't two biscuits short of a country biscuit.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_03: He's two biscuits short of a country breakfast,
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_03: but that don't make everyone at the Freak-Off Cracker Barrelas.
• 15:04
  certified lover boys certified pedophiles that fuck them up
• 15:10
  i'ma do my stuff why
• 15:12
  you trolling like a bitch ain't you tired trying to strike a
• 15:15
  chord and it's
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: probably a minor they not like us they not like
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: They not like us.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: They not like us.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_03: They not like us.
• 15:31
  I honestly think my favorite thing about this is watching
• 15:34
  conspiracy theorists have
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_03: to unravel the red string that they themselves originally strung out.
• 15:40
  Here's the OG conspiracy theorist Glenn Beck at his excitement
• 15:44
  for Trump's
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_03: beginning of the second term.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_03: The only thing I care about is the scandal of the pedophiles,
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_03: and in the next 10 days,
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_03: you're going to see the Epstein file released.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_03: Day number one, Kash Patel walks in.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_03: By the end of the day, it will be released.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_03: Day one!
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_03: Deep state exposed.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I'm sorry, Trump's in the rough?
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_03: I'll get right on that ball drop.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_03: What the left is saying, and some people now on his team are saying,
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_03: He's in the report.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_03: With 15 year olds?
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_03: Really?
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_03: Do you actually believe that?
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_03: I have seen some clips that would be consistent with...
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_03: by a teenage beauty pageant.
• 16:35
  But listen,
• 16:36
  Beck,
• 16:36
  you're the master at making connections,
• 16:38
  so let's see you unconnected.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_03: I mean,
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_03: let's be honest,
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_03: 20 years ago,
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_03: if,
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_03: you know,
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_03: this was like,
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_03: hey,
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_03: he was on an island with 25-year-old models,
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_03: I would be going,
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_03: probably,
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_03: okay?
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_03: 15, 16-year-olds, that's not Donald Trump.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_03: It's not Donald Trump.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_03: I don't believe that.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_03: Do you?
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_03: I say, that's, no way that's true.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_03: What?
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_03: No!
• 17:10
  You're not,
• 17:11
  there's no magic X.
• 17:15
  You can't just magic X conspiracy theories.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_03: White people being replaced by voting illegal immigrants?
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_03: No!
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_03: The ex has spoken.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_03: But of course, Trump's caddies can't do everything.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_03: And it's given Democrats hope that they finally have Donald Trump.
• 17:31
  For so long,
• 17:32
  the Democrats have been Wile E.
• 17:34
  Coyote to Donald Trump's roadrunner.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_03: The Democrats thought they had Trump with the felony convictions.
• 17:58
  They thought they had Trump with the Access Hollywood tape,
• 18:00
  but every time he got away.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_03: But now,
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_03: with the reporting on the Epstein files,
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_03: the only way that this guy wiggles out of this one is if,
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_03: for some reason,
• 18:11
  convicted sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell swears under oath
• 18:17
  that Trump had nothing
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_03: to do with it.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_03: But why would she do that?
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_03: Coyote, you finally got the roadrunner.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_02: Mr.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_02: President,
• 18:26
  if I didn't completely rule out a pardon for Ghislaine Maxwell
• 18:29
  when you landed,
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_02: is that something you would ever consider?
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_02: Pardon for who?
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_02: For Ghislaine Maxwell.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I'm allowed to give her a pardon.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_03: They not like us.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_03: They not like us.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_03: They not like us.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_03: They not like us.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_03: On Thursday and Friday of last week, something totally normal happened.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_03: Trump sent his deputy attorney general,
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_03: Todd Blanche,
• 19:27
  who also happened to be his personal defense attorney during
• 19:31
  the Stormy Daniels
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_03: trial,
• 19:32
  to interview Epstein's convicted co-conspirator and Trump's
• 19:35
  double date partner,
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_03: Ghislaine Maxwell.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_03: Maxwell is now serving a 20-year sentence for assisting,
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_03: facilitating,
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_03: and participating in Epstein's sexual abuse of minors for over a decade.
• 19:46
  And we don't know what happened during this meeting because as
• 19:49
  far as we've been
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_03: told,
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_03: the only people in there were Maxwell's lawyer,
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_03: the convicted sex trafficker,
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_03: and the president's personal sex lawyer.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_03: To make it even more normal.
• 19:58
  To make it even more normal,
• 20:00
  after the second meeting,
• 20:00
  Maxwell was seen carrying this box.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_03: Nothing suspicious about that.
• 20:07
  I'm sure they give all convicted sex traffickers with a
• 20:10
  decades-long connection to
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_03: Donald Trump a box.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_03: She got a box.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_03: Epstein got a box.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_03: Hers was cardboard.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_03: His was pine.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: The family matter and the truth for the matter.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: Here was God's plan to show y'all the liar.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: He a fan, he a fan, he a freaky ass nigga, he a 69 God.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: Freaky ass nigga, he a 69 God.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, hey, hey, hey, run for your life.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, hey, hey, hey, run for your life.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: Freaky ass nigga, he a 69 God.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: Freaky ass nigga, he a 69 God.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, hey, hey, hey, run for your life.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, hey, hey, hey, run for your life.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: This is true!
• 21:23
  Do you want to know how impossible it is to stay on Lord
• 21:29
  Farquaad's good side?
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_03: President Trump says he will sue the Wall Street Journal and its owner,
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_03: Rupert Murdoch,
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_03: who also owns Fox News.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_03: Donald Trump is suing Rupert Murdoch, the owner of Fox News.
• 21:45
  The man,
• 21:46
  other than Biden,
• 21:47
  may be most responsible for getting Trump elected.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_03: Fox.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_03: I fucking snuck that in there.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_03: Fox spends 24 hours a day blowing Trump, and it's not enough.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_03: Imagine suing someone mid-blow.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_03: How could you?
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_03: Finish up, finish up down there and I'll see you in court.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_03: So here's the point.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_03: If you're trying to figure out why Stephen's show is ending,
• 22:32
  I don't think the answer can be found in some smoking gun email
• 22:35
  or phone call from
• 22:36
  Trump to CBS executives or in CBS's QuickBooks spreadsheets on
• 22:40
  the financial health
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_03: of late night.
• 22:41
  I think the answer is in the fear and pre-compliance that is
• 22:45
  gripping all of
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_03: America's institutions at this very moment.
• 22:49
  Institutions that have chosen not to fight the vengeful and
• 22:52
  vindictive actions of
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_03: our pubic hair doodling commander in chief.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_03: This is not the moment to give in.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not giving in.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not going anywhere.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_03: I think.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_03: So to those institutions,
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_03: to those corporations and advertisers and universities and law firms,
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_03: all of them,
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_03: if you still think that bending the knee to Trump will save you,
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_03: I have one thing to say.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_03: I know you're scared.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_03: I know you're weary.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_03: I know your plans.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_03: Don't include me.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_03: But these are troubled times.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_03: So sack the fuck up.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_03: THIS AIN'T THIS AIN'T THE TIME TO SHRINK
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_03: this is the time to fight this is the time to rise up but compliance and
• 24:24
  complacency is not the answer we reject the mindless machine
• 24:29
  generated slap that
• 24:31
  offends nobody and we affirm our shared humanity we must
• 24:36
  continue to have humans
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_03: make things that inspire and provoke other humans
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_03: Chad GBT wrote that.
• 24:53
  But if you're afraid and you protect your bottom line,
• 24:58
  I've got but one thing to say.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_03: Just one little phrase.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_03: You tell them.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_03: Go fuck yourself.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_03: Go fuck yourself.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_03: Let's bring it down.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_03: A little bit quiet.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_03: Fuck, fuck, fuck yourself!
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_03: Just go fuck yourself!
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_03: Everybody!
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_03: Fuck, fuck, fuck yourself!
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_03: Just go fuck yourself!
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: So you will come to know when the bottle hits the bone.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: So you will come to know when the bottle hits the bone.
• 29:25
  When the bottle hits the bone.