Latest / Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald / Matthew Hussey Goes Deep on Relationships

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Matthew Hussey Goes Deep on Relationships · Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: You know, I saw on the YouTube files like, I
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: don't like how I looked at all, So I'm trying
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: to make my lighting a little bit better. My vanity
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: really like crashed out. I think you look great, Oh dude,
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: on the one you just posted, I'm like, it's like dark,
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: I got bags under my eyes. Like, try and get
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: a little soft lighting up in this bitch.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: Everyone's response with the new YouTube movement, everyone's like, oh, no,
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: make up people, how much would that cost for a
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: whole season?
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: Do you want to do?
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: No?
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: I know we do it over it. We do this
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: over zoom obviously. But when you when I go to
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: those people, when I do podcasts like We're Bigley or
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: rich Roll or the other one, they're so beautifully lit.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: When you go, like, they have a setup and it's
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: in studio and they make the most beautiful videos, like
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: little short things to advertise the episode, and they look gorgeous,
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, I mean, I know we do ours
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: over the riverside, but.
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: Guess what that shit costs way more money than what
• 0:52
  Speaker 4: we do, so.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Well, we would do it if we were able to
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: meet up once a week in person and it wasn't
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: a pain in the ass. I would love to do
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: that with.
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: You, absolutely, it would be nice.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: But you know what, it's just not feasible.
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: It isn't it's impossible. You know what it is.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: It's not feasible. It's not infeasible. It's it's unfeasible, all
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: not feasible.
• 1:14
  Speaker 5: I don't think infeasible, it's infeasible.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Think he went to college, you went to Northwestern. Isn't
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: that the Harvard of Infeasible didn't come it didn't come up.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: Infeasible never came up. But it is the Harvard of
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: the Midwest Northwestern University.
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: Because nothing, nothing was inconceivable or infeasible.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: Inconceivable Wallace quote, I'm so excited about today's episode and guest,
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: because you're a single man. He's going to give us
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: some good advice. And I, you know, often when I'm
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: walking to my computer to do the episode, a song
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: comes into my head. And the song that came into
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: my head today was wook and penub in all the
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: wrong play says wo pu up.
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: You said it already wrong. It's wooking putting up in
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: all the wrong paces. You can't say to el.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: For those of you who don't know this is old Murphy.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: Eddie Murphy doing Buckwheat singing the song looking for Love
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: and all the wrong places Donald, Will you do it justice?
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Because I didn't do it justice.
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: You can order Buckwheat sings Wooking put' ub and all
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: the long paces wooking putting ub. He sings some of
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: your favorite hits, A dead Daba, a dead on dime
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: and done Ben and dame him. Yeah, you know what
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: holds up if.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: You were born everything Eddie Murphy ever did on SNL.
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: Everything, if you were born in the nineteen seventies and
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: you grew up and had the best of Eddie Murphy's
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: Saturday Night Live video.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: Cassette didn't only do like one season, No, he did
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: a couple. But if you had the best, well, how
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: many seasons did he do? I feel like they're all
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: from one season?
• 3:04
  Speaker 4: He did two or three?
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: If you haven't, If you're listening to this and you
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: like our sense of humor, you must track down Eddie
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: Murphy's Scien Live's greatest hits.
• 3:15
  Speaker 5: The Jones four seasons.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh, I was very wrong. I'm sorry.
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: They're they're Jones. I want to be a hoe. That's
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: one of the best books ever made.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: Mister Robinson's Neighborhood.
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: Robinson, can you say, scum bucket?
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: This is how you are?
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: This is how to the door in my neighborhood? Is it?
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: When I was a kid that ship got all the
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: play in my house when we were younger? Coming?
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: What about once again? Buckwheed has been shot right? Just
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: coming to us live.
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: And then you find out that how Falfon is the
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: one that shot him.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: What have you never seen it?
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: Joel? What are you doing?
• 4:06
  Speaker 5: A lot of these?
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: But you see when he dresses up like a white
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: man and goes undercover.
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: What are you doing? What are you doing? I'm buying
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: this newspaper.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: Go ahead, he goes. I began to realize when white
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: people are alone, they just give each other. He guys,
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: he goes to try and behind newspaper and he gives
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: them money. He's dressed up like he got all this
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: white makeup on, and the guy and behind the count
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: he goes, what are you doing? He goes, I'm trying
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: to buy this newspaper. This newspaper and he goes, no, no,
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: there's nobody around. Just take it.
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: That's just hilarious.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's when he goes to try and get a
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: bank loan. All right, everybody, how you doing? Joel?
• 4:52
  Speaker 5: Doing good, doing good, staying busy, party planning, living it up.
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: Her birthday?
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Oh, when's your birthday?
• 5:02
  Speaker 5: October first?
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: Oh, next Tuesday?
• 5:06
  Speaker 5: Several days right now?
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: And Daniel, how are you house? New York?
• 5:10
  Speaker 6: And very well? New York is great? Finally setting in
• 5:13
  Speaker 6: feeling like I live here now it's been going on. Yes,
• 5:16
  Speaker 6: good for you, bro.
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: It takes a while. It took me five years to
• 5:20
  Speaker 4: feel like I was a Californian.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: Agree, at least I really like it here right now.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: I've been bopping around, but I'm loving in LA right now.
• 5:29
  Speaker 4: It's breezy out well, you know that's that's the key,
• 5:32
  Speaker 4: That is the key.
• 5:33
  Speaker 5: Joe Coverage.
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, the weather has changed for the better. Yeah, it's
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: not two hundred. It's not one hundred and seventeen when
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: you go outside here, not a billion degrees literally not literally,
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: but you know it was literally it was literally one
• 5:49
  Speaker 4: hundred and seventeen degrees.
• 5:50
  Speaker 6: I do know this, nuts I was. Yeah, I felt
• 5:53
  Speaker 6: for all of my LA people during that time.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: I am will can put up Donald and you can.
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: Putting up You will can putting up in all the
• 6:00
  Speaker 4: long paces, buddy.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm looking put up in all the long paces.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: But I think that that I'm ready to turn new
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: leaf forty nine. It's not too late for me, right, Joell,
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: It's too late for me.
• 6:12
  Speaker 5: Too late. I don't understand the concept of question. There's
• 6:16
  Speaker 5: no I'm.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: Going to ask Matthew Hussey's slave for me to have
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: kids and all that stuff. He's going to tell me.
• 6:22
  Speaker 4: He's not going to say no. Bro. If he says time,
• 6:25
  Speaker 4: he's not really he's not really good at his job. Imagine,
• 6:30
  Speaker 4: do you think I'm too old to have kids, Matthew Hussey?
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I know he's not going to say that,
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: But we need advice. I need advice for I might be.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm so set in my ways and I'm
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: you know, I I I don't know. Maybe maybe maybe
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: maybe when you're younger, you can handle like getting up
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: in the middle of nite for a screaming kid.
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: That only lasts like a year or two. Bro, that's it,
• 6:53
  Speaker 4: really yeah, and just you do it and you don't
• 6:57
  Speaker 4: even have to do it because you've got nothing that
• 6:58
  Speaker 4: the baby wants.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: Well, I think I feel like i'd marry a wife
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: who would make me get up. I don't know that
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: I'd end up with a woman who'd be like, you
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: stay asleep, baby.
• 7:07
  Speaker 4: I know you know, this is what you do. You've
• 7:08
  Speaker 4: got you've got a little bit of money. You get
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: yourself a night nurse, and the night nurse goes and
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: gets the baby and brings it to you.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: Oh really, yeah, I need a night nurse a baby.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: Can I get a night nurse if I don't have
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: a baby, because I have the worst insomnia, If I
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: could have a night nurse just rock me to sleep.
• 7:27
  Speaker 4: A night nurse doesn't do that. A night nurse gives
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: you the baby so you can rock the baby to sleep.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: No, but you give me an idea if I were
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: to hire a woman with that not to not have
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: anything sexual. Don't don't go there. Just when I have insomnia,
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: lightly rocked me to bed.
• 7:42
  Speaker 4: The minute you get in bed with somebody and start
• 7:45
  Speaker 4: rocking them, it gets sexual. Bro, There's no way it doesn't. Listen.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: Please, just I'm just trying to think this could be
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: a new occupation for somebody. Adult night nurse. But so
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: wait and also go back to it.
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: Totally hire somebody.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, all right, so you uh, you hire people
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: who have money. They hire someone and they get the
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: baby and then they just bring it to you.
• 8:07
  Speaker 4: They bring you the baby and the mom usually breastfeeds
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: at this point, rocks the baby back to sleep, right,
• 8:15
  Speaker 4: and then they hand the baby.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: Back to Oh that's bougie. Now, now how long does
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: that happen for? That's probably just like the first two
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: three weeks, right.
• 8:22
  Speaker 4: Three monks, and then you got to learn how to
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: let the baby scream pretty much until they fall as.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: Oh you have to ferborize. Now here's my question for you, Donald. No,
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: what are you shaking your hand about. Jell no, ferb that.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: No, that's one hundred percent a tactic people use, and
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: it works. I'm recalling my parents talking about me at
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: the stage in life, and it's very funny because I was, yeah.
• 8:43
  Speaker 4: Because some kids don't do that shit, and go ahead, Joe,
• 8:46
  Speaker 4: tell them tell me.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: My mother is like you, Donald, She was like, listen,
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: I don't fed you already, so you're not gonna start
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: if I'm going back to bed.
• 8:54
  Speaker 5: My father couldn't stay asleep, so it was it was
• 8:57
  Speaker 5: just me and.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: Him all night, just't basing the floors until I would
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: go to sleep and she was like it was insane
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: and he hurstley. She was like, what if we just
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: move the crib an I room? But my dad was like,
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: the baby is not getting used to sleeping in here. No,
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: I'll rather say that all night during this phase.
• 9:11
  Speaker 5: Get it done. As opposed to.
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: Your parents have ursed you, I have have educated you well,
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: because those are things that are true. Yo. Look straight up,
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: if you give in, the baby will not stop crying
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: until it feels the rock at night. And if you
• 9:29
  Speaker 4: give in and go into that room and pick up
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: the baby, the baby will be up all night with
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: you pretty much. That's the first one.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: As soon as you want to sort of go through crying,
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: it's like you have to like let them. I mean,
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: I know this is controversial, so I'm not taking a side,
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: but I'm saying this technique is you let them cry
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: it out until they stop and they sued themselves.
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and you and your instincts are saying, I'm going
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: in that room and I'm gonna suthe this baby. That
• 9:54
  Speaker 4: baby needs me, that baby needs me. That's the first one.
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: The second one, though, is the is the biggest one
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: with the uh with the sleeping in the bedroom the
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: minute you Oh, buddy, you ain't never getting that kid
• 10:07
  Speaker 4: out if you do that. Ship, I promise you that.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: I know a lot of people can't handle the crying,
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: so they just uh give in and say, fine, fucking
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: sleep with us.
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: Right, yeah, bring it.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: Bring What did you do with these last with these
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: last two kids?
• 10:22
  Speaker 4: With these last two kids, we had a night nurse.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: Oh I can the night nurse live in like elsewhere
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: with the kids? I have a question, did when you
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: do you think that one percentage of the of the
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: of the partners the wife says, honey, you stay asleep.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: There's nothing you can do. I just have the breastfeed,
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: And then what percentage you think are like, get the
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: fuck up, because if I have to get up, you
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: have to get up.
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: I think once you realize that there's nothing that the
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: dude can do unless you're storing milk, but you.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: Can massage your feet. Did you get where you rotate?
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: So like, if I have to wake up of the
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: night to feed the baby, then my partners staying asleep
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: then so that they can be awake with the baby
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: because the baby don't really sleep.
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: My wife power was like my wife was like, look,
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: every time you're around, I don't like it, So you
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: get out of here and let me be with the wow.
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: That's kind of a technique, all right. You know I
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: know another couple where I know another couple that's like
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: when we're both getting up or and then I know
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: another couple where they alternate like your turn and then he,
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: I guess he must give a bottle of breast milk
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: she pumped or something.
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: We saved, so we pumped early and then save it,
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: froze it, and saved it for when it was time
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: to stop giving up the the titty. Because at a
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: certain point, you want your titty back. You know what
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: I mean. As a man, you want your you know
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: what I mean. Now as a woman, you want your
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: titty back too. I want to be chafed anymore.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you put this stuff that they put
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: on cow utters on the nipple. I read, I don't.
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: I don't recall that too well.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm talking about, cream, which it was
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: in the Midwest.
• 12:31
  Speaker 5: This is real.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: You know it's real. It's it's I forgot what it's
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: called bab or something. It's called bag bomb. I don't
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: know why, I know this. It was made for cow utters,
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: but women find it soothing on their sore area.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: Bomb is correct. There is also a thing called utter cream.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: They're both, they're both real products.
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: You know what. I think you are ready for a baby, now.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I got you. Sound like I'm well, if if
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: I can have Donald's boogie set up where the baby
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: cries and I'm like Jeeves and I ring a bell
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: Monica Benson. All of a sudden, Benson from Webster comes
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: in from Webster.
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: No from Benson, Benson from Benson.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm conflating my eighties sitcoms. Sit Benson comes in.
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: I don't know if they had a a I'm not
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: gonna say servant, but a.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: Housekeeperson a servant.
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: Pretty much bro like.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: He was like the SEMs, like a male.
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: He was the assistant to the governor who did everything.
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: Okay, Benson's the Okay, I'm mixing up my shows. I
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: was sinking about mister Belvidere. Mister, why did mister Belvidere
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: have Webster.
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: Mister Belvidere didn't have Webster either. Webster lived with ma'am
• 13:54
  Speaker 4: and George. I don't think they had a housekeeper.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: Who is mister Belvidere.
• 14:00
  Speaker 4: Mister Belvedere was the housekeeper for the kid that they
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: thought was Marilyn Manson later on, who I played tennis
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: with and is a fucking phenomenal tennis player.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: Is he Marilyn Manson?
• 14:10
  Speaker 4: No, he's not Marilyn Manson.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: Okay, spoilers, Now, that's three different sitcoms I combined.
• 14:15
  Speaker 4: Yes, miss coach. Remember little Wesley.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: Our tennis coach, not my tennis coach anymore. But he
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: was in the news recently. Did you see that. I
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: think he planted that ship, not to him, not to
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: go down the rabbit hole. So we will speak tactfully,
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: but uh.
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: Our tennis coach was in the news talking about how
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: he might be responsible for a breakup between two people.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: Right and and and and I don't think that he
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: knowing who he is that he was at all, but
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: he certainly likes being in the public eye. And I
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: think he enjoyed being in the gossip rags. Yes, with
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: his shirt off, with his shirt off, and I wonder
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: to be here.
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna keep it one hundred. The dude got a
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: good body for he's he's my agent. Rich.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: I don't know if that well First of all, he's
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: he plays tennis all day long. But second of all,
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: I don't know if those pictures were recent.
• 15:20
  Speaker 5: Yall with this tear right now, I think he leaves.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: Some old ship. All right, Wait, we can't we can't
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: make Matthew Hussey. Wait, he's fancy. We got a really
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: fancy guest. This guy's on all the cool Kids podcasts.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: He's a relationship coach. He wrote so many books. And
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: we're so honored to have Matthew Hussey on.
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: Let's bring him in Box six seven stories.
• 15:46
  Speaker 7: Not sure we made about a bottles, he said, he's
• 15:53
  Speaker 7: the stories.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: Sound you here?
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: No, DoD hould it together. This episode is not for you.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: It's like that are alone.
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: I get it, that are alone, that build a pillow
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: girlfriend and spoon.
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: Listen, I build a pillow girl too, because my wife,
• 16:23
  Speaker 4: don't you My wife doesn't like to cuddle. Are you kidding?
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: Well, listen, don't hog this conversation.
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: You got it.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: No. I want you to participate, but I want you
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: to be asking dumb questions. You gotta we gotta make
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: the use of this free session we're getting. I don't
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: want you to questions.
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: As the kids say.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, let me eat, let me let you cook. Joelle
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: is a cook or eat? What am I do?
• 16:48
  Speaker 5: Either one both depending on the situation.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: Well hell yes, wow, So.
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: Matthew, this isn't my podcast today. You are here to
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: cater to the man Zach. He is going to interview you.
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: One hundred percent. He's the Lonel not on the plan.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: Not true. I just want to say to this, I
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: just want to say to the audience that if you
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: don't know what Matthew Hussey looks like, I just realized
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: what this is all bullshit because he's very, very, very handsome.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: So what the fuck are his techniques going to do
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: to help any of us regular people? You just have
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: to look like Matthew Hussey.
• 17:25
  Speaker 8: Do you know?
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: I was using the British accent to Donald. What the fuck?
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: The book must be very short, look like me and
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: have this accent.
• 17:34
  Speaker 8: I was in the bathroom before coming on here and
• 17:37
  Speaker 8: I could hear Donald's voice through head fighters Man two
• 17:42
  Speaker 8: rooms alive.
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: Matthew, turn your ship down.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Matthew, don't worry when we mix this. Daniel brings
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: his volume down to point five.
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: And that wasn't me, that was Zach. That was yelling
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: by the way hold on.
• 17:55
  Speaker 8: You guys have the greatest theme tune of any parts
• 18:00
  Speaker 8: I've ever heard.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: We do.
• 18:01
  Speaker 8: I really hope you never change it.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: We never really we we wrote it and then we
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: gave it to Charlie Poof who's a friend of ours,
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: and he produced the funk out of it.
• 18:09
  Speaker 8: That's amazing. That's so good. Yeah, please never change it.
• 18:13
  Speaker 8: It's so catchy.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Even when I'm doing our my read my listen
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: back to to to make sure that I have to
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: cut anything stupid Donald or I said, I, I always
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: listen to the theme song. I don't skip it. It's
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: fire scrubb watch show with Zach and.
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: Dude.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: It's such an honored anyone, I the algorithm of Instagram
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: knows that I love you because I get I get
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: like ninety five percent you. I get some some cars,
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: some watches, some pretty girls, and then you.
• 18:44
  Speaker 8: I really I'm honored to be among that.
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: That's a great list to be among.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: How did this happen? How did you come become such
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: a specialist in relationships? People of all shapes and sizes
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: and ages and genders to you for advice on dating?
• 19:01
  Speaker 6: Did?
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: How did it come about.
• 19:04
  Speaker 8: Such a I honestly feel like I never know how
• 19:06
  Speaker 8: to ask to answer this question anymore, because when I
• 19:09
  Speaker 8: started out, I was someone who really I was into
• 19:13
  Speaker 8: self development from a teenager, like I was always interested
• 19:18
  Speaker 8: in Like one of the first books I read in
• 19:22
  Speaker 8: this area was on my parents' bookshelf growing up, which
• 19:26
  Speaker 8: was how to Win Friends and Influence People. Yeah, And
• 19:29
  Speaker 8: it's funny because I read it, and it was to
• 19:32
  Speaker 8: me as a very shy and introverted kid, it was
• 19:35
  Speaker 8: like a revelation that you didn't have to be stuck
• 19:39
  Speaker 8: with how shy you were or with your you know,
• 19:43
  Speaker 8: the people skills that you had at the time, Like
• 19:45
  Speaker 8: you could improve those things. And so when I first
• 19:49
  Speaker 8: started out, I was coaching very small groups, and I
• 19:53
  Speaker 8: kind of got known for helping people get out there
• 19:56
  Speaker 8: and just take more chances and put themselves out there more.
• 20:00
  Speaker 8: And you know, I had a very in some ways
• 20:03
  Speaker 8: naive hypothesis at the time, which was like, hey, people
• 20:09
  Speaker 8: make bad choices in love because they don't have enough choice.
• 20:12
  Speaker 8: So if I can just help them create more choice,
• 20:14
  Speaker 8: they'll make better choices. That hypothesis was wrong, by the way,
• 20:19
  Speaker 8: really that yeah, because it's people, there's a lot more
• 20:23
  Speaker 8: deeper stuff going on for people in the choices that
• 20:26
  Speaker 8: they make. And you can present someone with a wonderful
• 20:30
  Speaker 8: human being and a chaotic human being and they'll choose that.
• 20:36
  Speaker 8: Many people will choose the chaotic human being.
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: Matthew say, it gets old fast.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: But you know why, Matthew, you know, why are you
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: knowing knowing Donald? He's probably implying that they're crazy in bed?
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: Is that what you're going?
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what everybody thinks if.
• 20:55
  Speaker 8: That. But well, that's an interesting thing because that's the
• 20:57
  Speaker 8: kind of a classic that's a dichotomy we have in
• 21:01
  Speaker 8: our heads, is that there is this proverbial choice between
• 21:05
  Speaker 8: you know, nice and boring or exciting and is going
• 21:10
  Speaker 8: to make my life worse? Yeah, and that happens on
• 21:15
  Speaker 8: the side of men and women. And so I think
• 21:19
  Speaker 8: a lot of what I've come to do now I've
• 21:21
  Speaker 8: been doing this for seventeen years of my life. Now,
• 21:24
  Speaker 8: what I have come to realize is so much of
• 21:28
  Speaker 8: what I'm doing is helping people find peace. Because when
• 21:33
  Speaker 8: you're single and you want to find love and you're
• 21:35
  Speaker 8: not finding love, that it's very hard to be at peace.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's very it's very dispiriting and demoralizing and I
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: have you know, I have very good female friends that
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: are single. I might me and another best friend of
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: mine are still single in our late forties, and so
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: I and then of course I see what's going on
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: in the culture. So much talk about both men and
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: women not being able to find their person and people
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: giving up and the apps had their moment. But is
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: the app culture, you know, just turning it into a
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: slot machine where it's just like so much next, next, whatever, next,
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: next next? Are people addicted to the to the to
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: the newness of just swiping left and right?
• 22:24
  Speaker 4: Well, it goes back to what Matthew said, it's just
• 22:26
  Speaker 4: too many choices.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: Well, I don't know if that's his theory anymore. Go ahead, Matthew, Sorry, right.
• 22:30
  Speaker 8: No, I think it's it's all relevant. It was interesting.
• 22:34
  Speaker 8: Is the more we say no to people in our life,
• 22:38
  Speaker 8: I think the stakes get higher. It's almost like you,
• 22:42
  Speaker 8: the person you eventually say yes to, has to justify
• 22:45
  Speaker 8: everyone you said nay, no time.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: That's interesting.
• 22:48
  Speaker 8: So I think for a lot of people, when they're
• 22:50
  Speaker 8: still looking for love an age where they thought they
• 22:53
  Speaker 8: would have found it, they feel like there's this the
• 22:56
  Speaker 8: stakes have become so impossibly high, because now, why yes
• 23:00
  Speaker 8: to this person? Yeah, you know, if yes to this person,
• 23:04
  Speaker 8: why not yes to the person ten years ago that
• 23:07
  Speaker 8: I gave up because I felt like it wasn't quite right.
• 23:09
  Speaker 8: Around was eighty percent right, but I felt like I
• 23:12
  Speaker 8: could get ninety percent right. And you know, I think
• 23:15
  Speaker 8: there's a lot of there's like an optimization mindset that
• 23:20
  Speaker 8: happens in our love lives that in some areas of
• 23:22
  Speaker 8: our life is really useful. You know, it could be
• 23:24
  Speaker 8: really useful in business, it could be really useful with
• 23:27
  Speaker 8: our bodies. When it comes to human beings, it's a
• 23:30
  Speaker 8: challenge because you know, no one's perfect. We're not perfect.
• 23:36
  Speaker 8: You know that. A friend of mine said, he said
• 23:39
  Speaker 8: to his mom. He was in his he was in
• 23:41
  Speaker 8: his late thirties, and his mom said to him, why
• 23:43
  Speaker 8: haven't you found someone? And he was like, you know, mom,
• 23:45
  Speaker 8: I just was. He was French, and he was like,
• 23:49
  Speaker 8: you know, I just you know, I'm looking for someone perfect,
• 23:52
  Speaker 8: you know. And his mum looked at him and said,
• 23:55
  Speaker 8: I just want to break it to you. You're not perfect.
• 24:00
  Speaker 8: So so like this thing that you keep looking for
• 24:04
  Speaker 8: is you know, it doesn't even exist in you, let
• 24:07
  Speaker 8: alone somebody else. So I, you know, I I think
• 24:12
  Speaker 8: there's this interesting question around at what point do we
• 24:17
  Speaker 8: say I'm going to choose this person and then I'm
• 24:21
  Speaker 8: going to lean in? And I think it's the it's
• 24:24
  Speaker 8: the difference between if you take the word to settle,
• 24:27
  Speaker 8: right or the phrase to settle. It's seen as an
• 24:31
  Speaker 8: obviously negative phrase by most people, like I don't want
• 24:35
  Speaker 8: to settle. I don't want to settle in any area
• 24:36
  Speaker 8: of my life, especially not with the person I'm going
• 24:39
  Speaker 8: to share a bed with for the rest of my life.
• 24:42
  Speaker 8: But there's a big difference if you change the language
• 24:44
  Speaker 8: around the word settle. You if you think of settling
• 24:48
  Speaker 8: for someone, you think of being short changed, If you
• 24:52
  Speaker 8: think of settling on someone that that implies an empowered approach,
• 25:00
  Speaker 8: implies agency, It implies that. I'm I almost think of
• 25:04
  Speaker 8: it like people going across America, you know, when they
• 25:06
  Speaker 8: first got to like when they got to the East coast,
• 25:09
  Speaker 8: there was like at some point they were going to
• 25:11
  Speaker 8: start going west. And of those people who went west,
• 25:15
  Speaker 8: you know, who's to say what was the best place
• 25:17
  Speaker 8: to decide to stop. Who's to say whether it was,
• 25:20
  Speaker 8: you know, Chicago on Montana or California. Like, who's to say.
• 25:24
  Speaker 8: At some point you had to say, you know what,
• 25:26
  Speaker 8: I'm going to build a home here, and what's going
• 25:29
  Speaker 8: to make this home really special is the investment I
• 25:32
  Speaker 8: put into it. Not that I have found the perfect land.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: But I hear you, and that's an amazing analogy. But
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: you still have to have these feelings for this person
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: that you go, wow, I'm willing to invest everything in
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: this relationship.
• 25:49
  Speaker 4: Wait, yeah, okay, this is and I think this is
• 25:52
  Speaker 4: the problem that a lot of people face, Zach. Maybe
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: your feelings change a little bit faster than everyone else's,
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: do you know what I mean? Like, maybe that's maybe
• 26:05
  Speaker 4: that's what it is, like everybody goes through. When you
• 26:11
  Speaker 4: go through a relationship, you go through ups and downs, obviously,
• 26:15
  Speaker 4: but it's a journey, right and the way you feel
• 26:18
  Speaker 4: in the beginning of the journey isn't going to be
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: the way you feel in the middle of the journey
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: or at the end of the journey. But if you
• 26:26
  Speaker 4: can throw that out and just be on the you know,
• 26:29
  Speaker 4: when we started, I committed to loving you and you
• 26:33
  Speaker 4: committed to loving me. Let's continue this even though you
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: might not be feeling me right now. Even though you might,
• 26:41
  Speaker 4: I know you still have love for me. I haven't taken.
• 26:44
  Speaker 4: That's not gone yet. Let's see where this journey goes.
• 26:49
  Speaker 4: Relationships are not I feel like I need to I
• 26:53
  Speaker 4: feel like, like Zach, you and I have a great relationship.
• 26:57
  Speaker 4: Do you feel like you need to be around me
• 26:59
  Speaker 4: all the time? Do you feel like you you know
• 27:01
  Speaker 4: what I mean that if we don't talk about certain things,
• 27:05
  Speaker 4: your our relationship's gonna suffer, you know.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: But a friendship. But a friendship is so different because
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: I can check no, I disagree, I can check out
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: from I can check out from you. I can go, oh,
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: he's annoying me. Thank god we don't live together. I'll
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: fucking talk to him in a week. That can be
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: working love.
• 27:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah, absolutely it does.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: You just don't think Let's ask Matthew argument on the show.
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: We're arguing.
• 27:29
  Speaker 8: No, no, no, I think it's a I actually, Donald,
• 27:31
  Speaker 8: I actually think that what you're saying makes so much sense.
• 27:36
  Speaker 8: You do you have to have enough of feeling to
• 27:40
  Speaker 8: get something off the ground, That's for sure. I think
• 27:43
  Speaker 8: it's we have to be careful because one of the
• 27:47
  Speaker 8: things I I like to say is don't comparison shop
• 27:50
  Speaker 8: for chemistry, because there's always I think that we often
• 27:57
  Speaker 8: compare chemistry we might be feeling now with a chemistry
• 28:00
  Speaker 8: that we felt with a certain person in a certain
• 28:03
  Speaker 8: moment of our life that has become the kind of
• 28:05
  Speaker 8: benchmark for what we expect, And often the conditions that
• 28:10
  Speaker 8: produced that chemistry were not sustainable in the first place.
• 28:17
  Speaker 8: So even if we had stayed with that person, that
• 28:21
  Speaker 8: chemistry wouldn't have even lasted with that person. Yeah, So
• 28:26
  Speaker 8: the fact that we take the absolute peak of an
• 28:29
  Speaker 8: experience we have had that isn't sustainable, and then we
• 28:34
  Speaker 8: compare every bit of chemistry we have in the future
• 28:37
  Speaker 8: with that, that's like a It's a completely unfair thing
• 28:43
  Speaker 8: to put any new relationship through. In fact, I think
• 28:48
  Speaker 8: often the healthier relationships, in some ways, they produce less
• 28:53
  Speaker 8: of that. It's not I'm not against chemistry, by the way.
• 28:55
  Speaker 8: I want to make that clear because there's always going
• 28:57
  Speaker 8: to be people listening to this going. But chemistry is
• 28:59
  Speaker 8: really important to me. It's really important to me too.
• 29:02
  Speaker 8: But I do think that sometimes when someone comes along
• 29:09
  Speaker 8: and they are a lot of the right things, it's
• 29:15
  Speaker 8: more subtle. It often produces more of a calm for
• 29:19
  Speaker 8: a lot of us. Calm feels like the opposite to
• 29:23
  Speaker 8: the kind of volatile passion that we've experienced in other
• 29:28
  Speaker 8: situations before, and especially when we've been single for a minute.
• 29:36
  Speaker 8: I saw myself being single. When I was single, I
• 29:39
  Speaker 8: was like, at a certain point, I felt a bit
• 29:42
  Speaker 8: like a junkie. I was like, I am in a
• 29:46
  Speaker 8: kind of current right now that is not conducive to me,
• 29:52
  Speaker 8: even necessarily appreciating the right thing when I see it
• 29:58
  Speaker 8: a bit like someone It's like taking someone who is
• 30:02
  Speaker 8: trying to wean themselves off drugs, and like, literally two
• 30:07
  Speaker 8: days into them being sober, you try to get them
• 30:11
  Speaker 8: to sit in front of a sunset and appreciate a sunset.
• 30:16
  Speaker 8: A sunset is amazing, but you're like, fix, no, because
• 30:23
  Speaker 8: a sunset is never going to compare to that. It's
• 30:27
  Speaker 8: never gonna be that. And so I do think that
• 30:30
  Speaker 8: there's almost a kind of like we have to get
• 30:34
  Speaker 8: far enough away from that frenetic, like constant novelty of
• 30:41
  Speaker 8: jumping from one person to the next that is always
• 30:43
  Speaker 8: inherently like it's fun and it's sexy and it's charged.
• 30:48
  Speaker 8: But I do think that, like, you know, there's people
• 30:52
  Speaker 8: that come into our lives where you go, Yes, I'm
• 30:55
  Speaker 8: attracted to this person. I am. I can't not be
• 30:58
  Speaker 8: attracted to this person. That's a that's a problem. I
• 31:01
  Speaker 8: am attracted to this person. But there's something about this
• 31:04
  Speaker 8: that feels like home, you know. It feels like I
• 31:09
  Speaker 8: can really be myself here, And I think that's a
• 31:13
  Speaker 8: really powerful feeling to look for.
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: Now, Matthew, are you saying that you shouldn't have I mean,
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: I feel like the more up to bats you have,
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: the better your odds. That is to say, if you're
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: being proactive and you're going on dates and you're letting
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: your friends set you up, and you're going to parties
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: and you're and you're you're, you're, you're putting yourself on
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: the field as as many times as possible up at bat,
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: the better your odds are of stumbling into someone new
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: that could that could produce those feelings. But it also
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: sounds like you're saying some of that sort of manic
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: dating energy isn't conducive for finding the right person. What's
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: the balance there?
• 31:55
  Speaker 8: Yeah, well, the balance is the right word. I think.
• 31:58
  Speaker 8: Imagine for a moment that someone set up five TVs
• 32:04
  Speaker 8: in your living room and they put a great movie
• 32:07
  Speaker 8: on each of them and press play at the same time.
• 32:12
  Speaker 8: They're all great movies, but at the end of that
• 32:16
  Speaker 8: two hours, are you really going to be able to
• 32:19
  Speaker 8: connect to any of them? Can you really say, you know,
• 32:22
  Speaker 8: I love that movie or I really felt like I
• 32:25
  Speaker 8: know that movie. No. And I think that's a lot
• 32:29
  Speaker 8: of what happens in dating is that, you know, we
• 32:32
  Speaker 8: have these movies playing out, but we're not really present
• 32:35
  Speaker 8: for a lot of them because we've got multiple movies
• 32:39
  Speaker 8: going on at the same time. I'm not By the way,
• 32:44
  Speaker 8: it's going to sound a little bit like I'm talking
• 32:46
  Speaker 8: out both sides of my mouth because I'm also I
• 32:49
  Speaker 8: warned people against giving up all of their other options
• 32:52
  Speaker 8: too quickly, because I think people I deal with people
• 32:56
  Speaker 8: all the time who have been on one date with
• 32:59
  Speaker 8: someone and they're already planning a future with them, and
• 33:01
  Speaker 8: meanwhile that person is still dating three other people right now.
• 33:05
  Speaker 8: So I do think we have to be careful.
• 33:08
  Speaker 4: But how does that work. I've never done that. For
• 33:11
  Speaker 4: those who have done that, how does that work? How
• 33:13
  Speaker 4: do you go out and say, you know what, I'm
• 33:15
  Speaker 4: going to date as many people as I can right
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: now and then form a connection. It just doesn't seem
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: like it's possible.
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: Well, I think about in the beginning, well, first of all.
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: Now, even in the beginning, even in the beginning.
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: Like, well, you missed this whole app dating craze, which is,
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: you know, people meet lots of different people and those
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: some people don't do it at all, but some who
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: are active, you know, they can be going on dates
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: with multiple people and they're not committing to one yet
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: and and and so I think that's what you're saying, right, Matthew.
• 33:48
  Speaker 8: I think, yeah, I think sex is a good thing
• 33:51
  Speaker 8: to be really conscious about if you're being intentional in
• 33:54
  Speaker 8: your love life, like I'm not. I think there's a
• 33:57
  Speaker 8: lot of people who come to the table talking about
• 33:59
  Speaker 8: this in a very prudish manner. I'm not one of them.
• 34:02
  Speaker 8: I think if you want to go and have fun
• 34:04
  Speaker 8: and you know, sleep at a bunch of people, do
• 34:06
  Speaker 8: your think. But if you're being intentional and you're like,
• 34:10
  Speaker 8: that's not the game I'm playing right now. The game
• 34:12
  Speaker 8: I'm playing is I want to find a meaningful relationship
• 34:16
  Speaker 8: and a partner. I think being more conscious about you know,
• 34:23
  Speaker 8: how when do I have sex with someone? Am I
• 34:25
  Speaker 8: having sex with multiple people at the same time. You
• 34:28
  Speaker 8: know that is going to that's naturally going to confuse everything.
• 34:34
  Speaker 8: So I'm a fan of like, yes, go on dates
• 34:38
  Speaker 8: with multiple people, but but take your time with those people.
• 34:44
  Speaker 8: And if you actually are like I kind of like
• 34:47
  Speaker 8: this person, I feel like there might be something here.
• 34:51
  Speaker 8: It's I almost think we have to resist the urge
• 34:55
  Speaker 8: in some ways to race forward, because when we miss
• 35:01
  Speaker 8: a lot, you know, we get super excited. We start
• 35:04
  Speaker 8: projecting a lot onto this person that we don't know
• 35:07
  Speaker 8: much about at all. You know, we know five percent
• 35:10
  Speaker 8: of this person, we've already decided they're the person for us.
• 35:14
  Speaker 8: I think it's slowing down being intent tru I.
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: Did that recently. I was just so I met someone
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: and I was really crazy about them, and then you
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: just instantly make up like ninety eight percent of who
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: they are, you know what I mean.
• 35:31
  Speaker 8: I've done that.
• 35:31
  Speaker 4: The reality hits.
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: And then you're like, oh my god, I'm in love
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: with this person that I've created in my mind. And
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: then of course you get to know them a little
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: bit more like, oh, that's this is a lovely human
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: but they're they're not what I thought they were at all,
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: And I'm sure a lot of people will fall into
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: that because you're so you're so geeked and excited to
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: meet the right person that you project, as you said,
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: a personality onto them that is an them because you
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: haven't slowed down and taken the time to get to
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: know them.
• 36:05
  Speaker 8: Yeah, and I think the opposite can happen too, where
• 36:08
  Speaker 8: you have someone great who's interested in you, and you
• 36:14
  Speaker 8: something about it doesn't feel familiar to you. It doesn't
• 36:17
  Speaker 8: feel like it comes with that same I don't know.
• 36:21
  Speaker 8: It doesn't come with that chaotic or phrenetic energy. It
• 36:25
  Speaker 8: doesn't come with the push, Paul. It comes in the
• 36:27
  Speaker 8: form of someone who's actually quite straightforward.
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: And exactly how I got knocked on my ass. Broll
• 36:35
  Speaker 4: me how it happened. I was very used to going
• 36:38
  Speaker 4: out with girls and stuff like that who were exciting
• 36:43
  Speaker 4: and fun and did crazy, crazy, crazy shit, the type
• 36:52
  Speaker 4: of shit where I was like, well, you know, and.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: Not just in bed, I know, you mean in bed,
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: but also like they were big personalities, and they were
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: and they were the life of the party and all
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: that stuff.
• 37:05
  Speaker 4: And I met someone who still had some of those qualities,
• 37:09
  Speaker 4: like my wife is definitely the life of the party.
• 37:12
  Speaker 4: She's definitely you know it, has a shit ton of charisma,
• 37:16
  Speaker 4: and I think that's what attracted me to her. But
• 37:19
  Speaker 4: she was straightforward from the gate from the minute I
• 37:23
  Speaker 4: met her. She was like, if you're going to waste
• 37:25
  Speaker 4: my time, we don't need to do this shit, and
• 37:26
  Speaker 4: that fucking perked me up, Like, oh shit, really, and
• 37:30
  Speaker 4: she was like, yeah, I don't want to get married.
• 37:32
  Speaker 4: I'm not moving in with you, you know what I mean.
• 37:35
  Speaker 4: These things are not on my to do list right now.
• 37:39
  Speaker 4: What I want to do is discover myself. I like you,
• 37:41
  Speaker 4: we can fuck around and you can be my boyfriend.
• 37:44
  Speaker 4: But all of this move in with me, play this
• 37:47
  Speaker 4: house game. Shit, We're not doing that. And I was like,
• 37:49
  Speaker 4: this is the best day ever. This is exactly what
• 37:52
  Speaker 4: I'm talking about. This is what I need in my life,
• 37:54
  Speaker 4: you know what I mean. And it turned by the
• 37:58
  Speaker 4: end of it, six years later, I'm begging her to
• 38:02
  Speaker 4: move in, I'm begging her to marry me, and I'm
• 38:05
  Speaker 4: begging her to have kids. And at that moment though,
• 38:08
  Speaker 4: she's ready to do the shit too, and we do it.
• 38:11
  Speaker 4: But she was straightforward from the gate, don't waste my
• 38:14
  Speaker 4: fucking time. If there's something else that you want to do,
• 38:17
  Speaker 4: Go do that shit. I don't give a fuck. I'm fine,
• 38:20
  Speaker 4: you know what I mean.
• 38:21
  Speaker 8: I but she was saying, she was saying, this needs
• 38:24
  Speaker 8: to be a committed relationship from the shit from the gate,
• 38:27
  Speaker 8: if you're gonna.
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: Be But she was also saying, get all this bullshit
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: out of your system. I don't want to date. I
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: don't want to date a playboy. I don't want to
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: date someone who's gonna cheat on me. If you got shit,
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: you need to get out of your system.
• 38:38
  Speaker 4: Go do that shit. Go do that shit, and maybe
• 38:40
  Speaker 4: me and you ain't. We're not supposed to be. But
• 38:43
  Speaker 4: if you want a relationship and you want to fuck,
• 38:46
  Speaker 4: like I tried to break up with her, like I'm
• 38:47
  Speaker 4: going on, I'm gonna get so pussy, I'm good. Fuck
• 38:49
  Speaker 4: what you said, I'm going to get me. And she
• 38:51
  Speaker 4: was like, but if you do that, you and I
• 38:53
  Speaker 4: aren't going to have a relationship anymore. And don't you
• 38:56
  Speaker 4: feel like our relationship is special? And I would think
• 38:59
  Speaker 4: about it. Really, he is special.
• 39:01
  Speaker 8: She's right, And that's a great thing for someone to
• 39:05
  Speaker 8: for someone to back that up because a lot of people,
• 39:07
  Speaker 8: I think when they hear. When I talk about having standards,
• 39:11
  Speaker 8: a lot of people imagine this sort of like you know,
• 39:14
  Speaker 8: pounding the table, like aggressive or passive aggressive way of
• 39:20
  Speaker 8: saying what you want. And what you just highlighted is
• 39:23
  Speaker 8: such a powerful combination, is the ability to have a
• 39:27
  Speaker 8: standard about what you expect in order for someone to
• 39:30
  Speaker 8: and it's not what you you don't feel entitled to it.
• 39:33
  Speaker 8: You're just like, if you want, if you want my energy,
• 39:37
  Speaker 8: if you want my time, if you want intimacy with me,
• 39:41
  Speaker 8: this is what I need from you. And if you
• 39:43
  Speaker 8: can't give that, no problem. But then to say, but
• 39:47
  Speaker 8: I think that would be stupid, because we've got something
• 39:49
  Speaker 8: pretty great. That's a very powerful combination because there's a
• 39:54
  Speaker 8: there's a there's a you know, there's a warmth at
• 39:57
  Speaker 8: the same time as having those standards, and there's also
• 40:00
  Speaker 8: a kind of pointing to the thing and going but
• 40:03
  Speaker 8: also this is pretty great. But also leave if you
• 40:06
  Speaker 8: need to. You're not also this is pretty great.
• 40:09
  Speaker 4: It was she She did a lot of this, stay back,
• 40:13
  Speaker 4: come here, stay back. She did a lot of that,
• 40:15
  Speaker 4: you know what I mean, early on in our relationship.
• 40:18
  Speaker 4: But she was she was she was honest about everything
• 40:22
  Speaker 4: and she never like when she was doing the stay back,
• 40:25
  Speaker 4: come here, she was like, I work for somebody right now.
• 40:28
  Speaker 4: My time she was a personal assistant. My time, I
• 40:31
  Speaker 4: don't have a lot of it, but I really fucking
• 40:33
  Speaker 4: like you, So don't get too close. But next time
• 40:37
  Speaker 4: I see you, do be a nice guy and do
• 40:40
  Speaker 4: do the same thing that you did before my wife
• 40:42
  Speaker 4: is done, she sounds Great's focus on him because he
• 40:45
  Speaker 4: already found in love his life. But let's take a break.
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: We'll be right back after these fine words. Matthew, I
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: want to talk abeople about texting because I feel like
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: this is where you know, they used to say it
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: goes down on the DM. I think it goes down
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: in the in the in the text chat, because you know,
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: this is where flirting sort of happens these days. And
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: I feel like you learn a lot from someone by
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: how they respond to you, how quickly they respond to you,
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: if they're playing games with you. I wonder what your
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: thoughts are on this. I read a quote I forgot
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: who said it. I didn't say, but I'd landed with
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: me and said, if they like you, you'll know if
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: you're confused they don't. That's all you need to know,
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: and I wonder. You know, sometimes I'm you know, hanging
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: out with someone and they don't get back to me
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: for like too long, and I'm like, well, I'm confused,
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: and like this this is all I need to know.
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: What are your thoughts on on the sort of the
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: text game of flirting in twenty twenty four.
• 41:54
  Speaker 8: I think we we keep a lot to us set
• 42:01
  Speaker 8: and there's a lot of thoughts going on in our
• 42:04
  Speaker 8: head about like, oh, I don't feel very safe in
• 42:08
  Speaker 8: this situation emotionally because I feel like this person isn't
• 42:12
  Speaker 8: really consistent, and you know, they one minute they seem
• 42:17
  Speaker 8: to be into me, the next minute they're cold. And
• 42:19
  Speaker 8: we have different response systems to feeling unsafe. You know,
• 42:23
  Speaker 8: some of us cling on and you know, we start overtexting.
• 42:27
  Speaker 8: Others are like screw you and we turn that person
• 42:30
  Speaker 8: into the devil and we say, you know you're you're out,
• 42:34
  Speaker 8: I'm not going to text you anymore. And what doesn't
• 42:38
  Speaker 8: happen a lot is actually being able to communicate. And
• 42:43
  Speaker 8: I think communicating is an interesting word because it's there's
• 42:49
  Speaker 8: a there's there's It's not as easy as that, right,
• 42:52
  Speaker 8: there's right ways to communicate and there's ways to communicate
• 42:55
  Speaker 8: that don't that do us a disservice. There's a way
• 42:57
  Speaker 8: to communicate that makes us appear very needy and desperate
• 43:02
  Speaker 8: and weak, and you know, and sometimes just feels like it.
• 43:06
  Speaker 8: You know, a lot of times when you hear people
• 43:07
  Speaker 8: talk about what to say and how to say it
• 43:10
  Speaker 8: in any context, it can feel a bit, a bit
• 43:15
  Speaker 8: clinical and a bit strange and a bit like you
• 43:17
  Speaker 8: kind of look at it and you go, people don't
• 43:18
  Speaker 8: really talk like that in real life. That would sound
• 43:21
  Speaker 8: weird to say. So I always think, what's the communication
• 43:25
  Speaker 8: that you feel like you could actually say? And you
• 43:28
  Speaker 8: have to communicate a moment where you have leverage, because
• 43:32
  Speaker 8: there's no point communicating about what you're not happy with
• 43:34
  Speaker 8: at a time when you have no leverage, you know
• 43:36
  Speaker 8: what I mean. Like if someone hasn't been texting you
• 43:38
  Speaker 8: back and it's kind of their turn texting them at
• 43:43
  Speaker 8: that point and being like, I'm really not happy with
• 43:45
  Speaker 8: the way this is, just like you, you might as
• 43:50
  Speaker 8: well the clown face on, right, I know, But isn't
• 43:54
  Speaker 8: that everything?
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: And then and the spirit of the quote, isn't that
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: everything you need to know?
• 43:59
  Speaker 8: I think it is, But I think What complicates dating
• 44:01
  Speaker 8: is that often people come back, they do text again,
• 44:06
  Speaker 8: they do ask you what you're up to tonight, and
• 44:09
  Speaker 8: they do it after you having not heard from them
• 44:12
  Speaker 8: for the last week or two or not getting back
• 44:15
  Speaker 8: to your last two messages. And those moments are really
• 44:18
  Speaker 8: interesting because the yes, the time where you've been reaching
• 44:23
  Speaker 8: out to someone and they're giving you nothing, why bother
• 44:26
  Speaker 8: continuing with that investment, that's you know, like all your
• 44:30
  Speaker 8: energy is better served putting it in a different direction.
• 44:34
  Speaker 8: But people dating is strange because people, you know, they
• 44:39
  Speaker 8: get lonely one night and they look through their phone
• 44:41
  Speaker 8: and they're like, oh, you know, I'll reach back out
• 44:43
  Speaker 8: to that person who I haven't texted recently. Oh no,
• 44:46
  Speaker 8: they sent me two messages I didn't get back to.
• 44:48
  Speaker 8: Oh well let's try. You know, people do that. They
• 44:51
  Speaker 8: get lonely, they get bored, or you know, they're just whatever.
• 44:54
  Speaker 8: They need some stimulation, they need some validation. So we
• 44:58
  Speaker 8: have to be very careful when we're on the other
• 45:00
  Speaker 8: side of that because otherwise you just you literally become
• 45:04
  Speaker 8: someone's validation when they need a hit, they need a
• 45:08
  Speaker 8: doper mean, and you're there. And of course we when
• 45:12
  Speaker 8: we get a text from someone that we really like,
• 45:15
  Speaker 8: and our brain doesn't register in that moment that this
• 45:21
  Speaker 8: they're trying to get a dopamine hit necessarily, or that
• 45:24
  Speaker 8: they haven't texted back to our last two messages. We're
• 45:26
  Speaker 8: just we get a rush of blood to the head,
• 45:28
  Speaker 8: we're excited. We call a tribunal with our friends and
• 45:31
  Speaker 8: we're like, what should I say?
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: Screenshot? What's the move?
• 45:35
  Speaker 8: But we have to start. I always say follow your path,
• 45:39
  Speaker 8: not your feelings. Right, your feelings will tell you text back,
• 45:43
  Speaker 8: call this person, do this, do that, But your path
• 45:46
  Speaker 8: says what is it I really value? What is the
• 45:49
  Speaker 8: kind of communication I want in my life? What is
• 45:51
  Speaker 8: the kind of relationship I want to have with another person?
• 45:55
  Speaker 8: And once you've established that, you have to lean into
• 45:59
  Speaker 8: that over for your feelings because you often can't trust
• 46:02
  Speaker 8: your feelings your feelings.
• 46:03
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 46:03
  Speaker 8: I once saw someone with a T shirt that said
• 46:05
  Speaker 8: your feelings are valid, and I was like, not really,
• 46:07
  Speaker 8: your feelings are not always valid. Our feelings can be
• 46:12
  Speaker 8: crazy based on nothing, can be irrational. So it's saying
• 46:17
  Speaker 8: at that point where someone texts you and says, hey,
• 46:19
  Speaker 8: what are you up to this weekend? And you're like,
• 46:22
  Speaker 8: I send you three messages you didn't get back to.
• 46:24
  Speaker 8: That's the moment of leverage. That's where you do have
• 46:27
  Speaker 8: leverage because someone's reaching out to you. And this is
• 46:30
  Speaker 8: like a moment where I get to set my stall
• 46:31
  Speaker 8: out and say this is what I'm about. Now. You
• 46:34
  Speaker 8: can do that in a you don't have to do
• 46:37
  Speaker 8: that in a an over the top or aggressive way.
• 46:40
  Speaker 8: It might literally be saying to someone, you know, I
• 46:45
  Speaker 8: I'm so a little surprised to hear from you. I
• 46:47
  Speaker 8: didn't you know, I felt like we had a good
• 46:49
  Speaker 8: thing going, but then I didn't really hear from you.
• 46:51
  Speaker 4: That puts and then that puts them in that you
• 46:54
  Speaker 4: know what, we did have a good thing going, but
• 46:56
  Speaker 4: I've been busy or I said, then here comes the excuses, though,
• 46:59
  Speaker 4: and if it's goodness.
• 47:02
  Speaker 8: And by the way, even if the excuse is like
• 47:07
  Speaker 8: I'm I'm you know this and work and blah blah blah,
• 47:11
  Speaker 8: that's okay. But the thing I always say to people
• 47:14
  Speaker 8: is you have to take the view that Okay, they
• 47:17
  Speaker 8: have their reasons, but I have my reality and the
• 47:22
  Speaker 8: only thing that really matters to me is my reality.
• 47:25
  Speaker 8: Your reasons don't determine the quality of my life. My
• 47:29
  Speaker 8: reality determines the quality of my life. So it's okay
• 47:32
  Speaker 8: if someone's the kind of person that's so busy they
• 47:34
  Speaker 8: have a business and this and that and they're never available,
• 47:38
  Speaker 8: that's okay. But you might not be in the market
• 47:41
  Speaker 8: for a relationship. Yeah, And so it's.
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: Okay to say in that in that case, Matthew, like,
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: if you if you're really you know, protecting yourself. Look,
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: you know in some some some form of listen, you're
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: really great, but I'm really looking for someone who's available
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: more and who I mean, is there a way to
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: do it that? I mean, I think the honesty is when.
• 48:01
  Speaker 4: You have the courage the best way to do it. Bro.
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think when you have the courage to be honest.
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: You know, the last person I was seeing, I had
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: the courage right off the bat to be like, hey,
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: I really like I want to just I'm not going
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: to play games with the text at all. I'm like,
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: I'm just I'm too old. I'm just going to really
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: communicate like, well, I hope you'll get back to me quickly,
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: Like it's just it's just I'm not going to like
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: sit here and wait, oh I should wait forty eight hours,
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: and like, I have to say that the text game
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: and the text response was amazing. It was she always
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: replying quickly. I never I was never in my head
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: of like, oh god, don't send her another you know,
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: text right now. And so in that way it was
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: I sort of did a proof of concept. But oh,
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: this is this is what I need. If I'm going
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: to be dating someone. I don't want to be in
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: my head about communication. I don't want them to not
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: be getting back to me. Everyone has their phone on
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: them all day long. I mean, if you're not texting
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: me back like then like that day, that's crazy. Then
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: then you're then you are too busy for me.
• 49:04
  Speaker 8: Agreed. And I think at knowing that standard, the standard
• 49:09
  Speaker 8: you want to have for yourself before the fact, is
• 49:11
  Speaker 8: really important because otherwise you start making all sorts of
• 49:14
  Speaker 8: justifications based on how much you like someone, and that's
• 49:18
  Speaker 8: again following your feelings, not your path. If you say,
• 49:21
  Speaker 8: if you know what makes me happy is being able
• 49:23
  Speaker 8: to talk. If I'm really like into someone, I like
• 49:27
  Speaker 8: to be able to talk to them once a day,
• 49:29
  Speaker 8: whether it's by text or phone or whatever. I like
• 49:32
  Speaker 8: to I don't want to look for it that's what
• 49:34
  Speaker 8: we're looking at for it like, that's what's fulfilling to me.
• 49:39
  Speaker 8: And therefore, when someone's not doing that, it's being able
• 49:42
  Speaker 8: to say, look, I really like you, but I feel like,
• 49:45
  Speaker 8: you know, I don't I don't hear from you that much,
• 49:47
  Speaker 8: or we don't you know, talk often enough, and you know,
• 49:50
  Speaker 8: I I kind of I don't want to back away,
• 49:53
  Speaker 8: but I feel myself backing away a little bit because
• 49:56
  Speaker 8: I feel like, you know, you know, maybe the way
• 49:59
  Speaker 8: we communicate it is very different, or you know, maybe
• 50:01
  Speaker 8: you're just you know, in a different place right now.
• 50:04
  Speaker 8: When I I me and my wife, when we were dating,
• 50:08
  Speaker 8: we were long distance, and she did the best thing
• 50:13
  Speaker 8: we I sent her a message we were we had
• 50:17
  Speaker 8: we weren't dating anymore. We liked her, you know, basically
• 50:21
  Speaker 8: we had seen each other when we were in London together.
• 50:23
  Speaker 8: I came back for the holidays and we were seeing
• 50:26
  Speaker 8: each other. And then I live in Los Angeles. I
• 50:29
  Speaker 8: came back, she was still there, and you know, it
• 50:32
  Speaker 8: kind of fizzled, and gradually my communication got less and less.
• 50:37
  Speaker 8: I was like, I can't do a long distance relationship.
• 50:39
  Speaker 8: I just can't. I'm like LA to London I'm not
• 50:43
  Speaker 8: in the market for that, and so gradually, gradually I
• 50:47
  Speaker 8: texted Less, I called Less, and then one day after
• 50:52
  Speaker 8: I probably hadn't reached out in a in a week
• 50:55
  Speaker 8: or two, I don't know how long it was, maybe
• 50:56
  Speaker 8: it was even less, maybe it was a few days,
• 50:58
  Speaker 8: but I sent her a message saying I miss you,
• 51:02
  Speaker 8: and she this is this is the moment, because that's
• 51:05
  Speaker 8: a moment where you're you get excited and you're like,
• 51:09
  Speaker 8: I miss you too, and you know all of that.
• 51:11
  Speaker 8: But she didn't do that. She followed her path, not
• 51:14
  Speaker 8: her feelings. She sent me this message, and to this
• 51:16
  Speaker 8: day is one of the most brutal messages.
• 51:18
  Speaker 4: I've ever seen her.
• 51:20
  Speaker 8: She said, Hey, I hope you're well. To be honest,
• 51:27
  Speaker 8: I'm a little surprised to get this message from you.
• 51:31
  Speaker 8: We haven't felt that close in a while now. And
• 51:37
  Speaker 8: rightly or wrongly, this message comes off as a bid
• 51:39
  Speaker 8: for attention.
• 51:41
  Speaker 4: Wow, hits you with the truth because it's the truth.
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: Wow. Everyone just write that down and put that in your.
• 51:48
  Speaker 4: Freaking perk you up.
• 51:49
  Speaker 8: When she did that ship, well, this is the interesting.
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: They're married. They're married.
• 51:54
  Speaker 8: I for me, I was like, she truly I felt
• 52:01
  Speaker 8: naked with that text because I was like, I've got
• 52:04
  Speaker 8: nothing to say to that. That was this is exactly
• 52:07
  Speaker 8: what's happening right now. And I wasn't trying, you know,
• 52:10
  Speaker 8: I wasn't coming from a bad place. I wasn't, but
• 52:12
  Speaker 8: I was. It's what I was doing, It's exactly And yeah,
• 52:16
  Speaker 8: and she was, and she laid it out and that
• 52:19
  Speaker 8: I was never unsure of what her standard was again
• 52:22
  Speaker 8: after that, and that's the that's the difference. But most people,
• 52:27
  Speaker 8: most people will never send that message because they are terrified.
• 52:34
  Speaker 8: Most people's dating lives are all about risk aversion.
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that was very courageous of.
• 52:38
  Speaker 8: Her, very because it feels like what's happening is you're
• 52:44
  Speaker 8: pushing away the very thing that you want, but actually
• 52:50
  Speaker 8: what you're doing is making it ten times more likely
• 52:53
  Speaker 8: that you get the thing that you want.
• 52:54
  Speaker 4: You're just telling the person I value myself a lot,
• 52:58
  Speaker 4: and there's nothing that anyone can do that will take
• 53:02
  Speaker 4: away from that. If you want to be a part
• 53:04
  Speaker 4: of this, dude, I have all the room in the
• 53:07
  Speaker 4: world to value you the way I value myself, but
• 53:10
  Speaker 4: I don't fucking I'm not going to play this bullshit
• 53:13
  Speaker 4: where you know you can call me and just be like, hey,
• 53:16
  Speaker 4: I miss you, and I'm going to jump to it
• 53:18
  Speaker 4: because I value myself weight.
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because then that person devalues you. They go whenever
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: I want, or I can just text what's up.
• 53:26
  Speaker 8: That's exactly right. And everyone has had I think if
• 53:29
  Speaker 8: anyone is ever asking, but how do you get like
• 53:31
  Speaker 8: the courage to do that in the moment, or how
• 53:33
  Speaker 8: do you you know, how do you get the like, Well,
• 53:36
  Speaker 8: here's the thing. Probably every one of us have been
• 53:40
  Speaker 8: in a relationship where we ignored that feeling and because
• 53:45
  Speaker 8: someone was super hot or super successful or something they had,
• 53:50
  Speaker 8: like some they were a ten in some area of life.
• 53:54
  Speaker 8: In some areas they were like yeah, that charisma was
• 53:58
  Speaker 8: off the charts or something about them, the kids calling.
• 54:00
  Speaker 8: You awed that feeling, and you got into a relationship
• 54:05
  Speaker 8: with that person. But what what happened was you got
• 54:08
  Speaker 8: you kind of got into a hostage situation because you
• 54:12
  Speaker 8: then spent the relationship never really authentically being yourself, being
• 54:17
  Speaker 8: afraid that if you were really yourself, you would lose
• 54:19
  Speaker 8: this person because you'd be too high maintenance, You wouldn't
• 54:23
  Speaker 8: be the cool customer that attracted them in the first place.
• 54:28
  Speaker 8: You know, and and I've been in that situation before
• 54:31
  Speaker 8: where I did that for a while and I lost myself,
• 54:36
  Speaker 8: like really lost myself, and by the way, ended up
• 54:40
  Speaker 8: getting my heart broken anyway, So I look when I
• 54:45
  Speaker 8: after that, I was like, this, this isn't a winning formula.
• 54:50
  Speaker 8: Even if you get the person, you're going to be miserable.
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: You're gonna because you have to keep playing a fucking character. Yeah,
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: you never, You're never You're never yourself because you're like, oh,
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: I put on this facade to get them, and then
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: and I have to keep playing this character, which is
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: exhausting to keep them. I'm not myself.
• 55:10
  Speaker 8: Whereas the person you can like, even the person you know,
• 55:13
  Speaker 8: we will have that moment where we get a little
• 55:15
  Speaker 8: jealous of something, and I think a lot of us
• 55:17
  Speaker 8: as men were like, don't show it, don't show it,
• 55:20
  Speaker 8: because the cool thing to do is to be unfazed
• 55:23
  Speaker 8: always and forever. That's the like alpha way to be
• 55:27
  Speaker 8: and whatever. But then now you're stuck being a person
• 55:29
  Speaker 8: who's never jealous.
• 55:30
  Speaker 4: Right, you can't have to.
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: Play that forever.
• 55:35
  Speaker 4: Are you jealous? No, I'm not jealous.
• 55:40
  Speaker 8: I just thought that was out of line. I'm not jealous.
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: I'm not threatened.
• 55:45
  Speaker 8: Yeah, but I remember the first time I expressed jealousy
• 55:49
  Speaker 8: to my wife when we were dating, and I have
• 55:52
  Speaker 8: realized I had I had a really hard time being vulnerable.
• 55:56
  Speaker 8: I thought I was good at being vulnerable, and I wasn't.
• 56:00
  Speaker 8: I was good at being vulnerable in ways that were
• 56:02
  Speaker 8: easy to be vulnerable, but not when I genuinely felt
• 56:07
  Speaker 8: like I was bearing, you know, some part of me
• 56:11
  Speaker 8: that I thought wasn't attractive and insecurity and insecurities, and
• 56:16
  Speaker 8: I had had that go wrong in the past. By
• 56:18
  Speaker 8: the way I remember, I remember this is I think
• 56:21
  Speaker 8: what happens to a lot of people is you do
• 56:23
  Speaker 8: it with the wrong person and it backfires. I remember
• 56:27
  Speaker 8: expressing like an insecurity I had about someone else to
• 56:31
  Speaker 8: in a relationship that wasn't the right relationship, and this
• 56:35
  Speaker 8: person looked at me and said I. And I thought
• 56:38
  Speaker 8: the moment I said it, I was like, shouldn't have
• 56:40
  Speaker 8: said it, shouldn't have said it, shouldn't have said it?
• 56:42
  Speaker 8: You were too honest, then you should you just revealed
• 56:45
  Speaker 8: yourself to be a weak man. And then this person
• 56:47
  Speaker 8: looked at me and went, I just that was I
• 56:52
  Speaker 8: find that really unattractive.
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: Oh, and the right person instantly.
• 56:58
  Speaker 8: Well, but that's not the conclusion I came into at
• 57:00
  Speaker 8: the time. At the time, I was like, I hated
• 57:03
  Speaker 8: myself because I was like, why did I say that?
• 57:06
  Speaker 8: I never should have said that. A conclusion I came
• 57:09
  Speaker 8: to was like, I'm never doing that again. I screw.
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: Here's question off of what you're saying, because and this
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: goes for people who are coupled up already. What do
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: you think? Obviously, if someone's in that situation where they
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: want to be vulnerable but they're afraid, what is the
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: what how do you approach just an example of jealousy
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: to your partner in a way that is vulnerable and
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: honest but also is an accusatory what what do you?
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: How do you? How did you do it? I guess
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: is what I'm asking.
• 57:42
  Speaker 8: Well, I didn't do it very well.
• 57:44
  Speaker 4: I don't think there is a way to do it well.
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: I disagree. I think there's a way to do it,
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: to do it to expressly jealousy, to say, I mean,
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna I'm just gonna guess, Matthew, you tell
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: me where I go wrong. I would say, I'm not
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: saying you did anything wrong. I just want to be
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: honest with you and share what I felt.
• 58:01
  Speaker 4: You already started off wrong by saying I'm not saying
• 58:03
  Speaker 4: you did anything wrong because.
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: You are don't know, Matthew might disagree with you. I'm
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: not saying I'm not saying you did something. I'm saying
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: I want to share with you what I felt. And
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: then I don't know Matthew is at the right area.
• 58:16
  Speaker 8: Well, I like, I actually liked the idea of saying, look,
• 58:19
  Speaker 8: remember when my partner sent me that message, she said,
• 58:23
  Speaker 8: rightly or wrongly, this comes across across as a bid
• 58:26
  Speaker 8: for attention, and the rightly or wrongly was a very
• 58:28
  Speaker 8: important part of that message because she was it was
• 58:30
  Speaker 8: removing ego from it, and it was saying, look, I
• 58:34
  Speaker 8: could be wrong, I could have misread this whole situation,
• 58:36
  Speaker 8: but this is what it feels like. And so I
• 58:39
  Speaker 8: think what you just said is picking up on that
• 58:41
  Speaker 8: tone is like, Look, I'm I don't know if I'm overreacting.
• 58:47
  Speaker 8: I don't know if you know what happened was was
• 58:50
  Speaker 8: actually an issue, but I know I feel strange.
• 58:54
  Speaker 4: You just know what he didn't say, I'm not saying
• 58:56
  Speaker 4: you did anything wrong, though you didn't say that what
• 58:58
  Speaker 4: you did say was the way I feel right now.
• 59:02
  Speaker 4: I could be totally overreacting and I could be freaking
• 59:05
  Speaker 4: I could have misread the whole situation point to her.
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: But I want to be honest with you and tell
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: you how I.
• 59:11
  Speaker 8: Felt, exactly like I it made me feel, And I
• 59:14
  Speaker 8: think strange is a good word like strange is kind
• 59:17
  Speaker 8: of this is kind of a nicely ambiguous word like it.
• 59:21
  Speaker 8: It made me feel strange, you know, And rather than
• 59:26
  Speaker 8: keep it in my head, and I'm a big believer
• 59:29
  Speaker 8: in stuff you keep in your head, just yeah, that's resentment,
• 59:33
  Speaker 8: and I want to have that with you because.
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: I like it, because because I like you so much.
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: I mean, I think you all say because I like
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: you so I mean, I'm not I mean to be
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: coaching you. I'm saying, I guess I'm asking, And then
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: it might also be good to say, I'm I'm going
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: to be vulnerable because I like you so much, and
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: I don't want weird shit in my head right exactly.
• 59:53
  Speaker 8: I don't want to. I don't want to carry this
• 59:54
  Speaker 8: around with me. I'd rather just share it with you
• 59:57
  Speaker 8: so we can talk about it. And the nice thing
• 59:59
  Speaker 8: about that is that you really are giving yourself an
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 8: opportunity to have a better relationship, and you're also anyone
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 8: who's afraid of Well, what if they bite my head
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 8: off for saying that? What if they judge me for
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 8: saying that? What if they shame me for saying that?
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 8: That's like you're that vulnerability is a filter. It's a
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 8: filter for the wrong people. Because the wrong people they
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 8: often will throw things like that back in your face.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 8: They often will make you feel stupid. They you know,
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 8: they will be like, oh, that's so ridiculous, I can't believe.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 8: Then you go, okay, this is no longer. This is
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 8: not a red flag against me. The fact that I
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 8: can't share something with you is actually a red flag
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 8: against you, right, And that's something we have to pay
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 8: attention to because I believe the right relationship, like, in
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 8: the right relationship, communication makes the relationship better. In the
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 8: wrong relationship, it often makes the relationship.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: You and that's the best. That's a fucking giant red
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: flags if you can't communicate in a in a in
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: a healthy way.
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 8: Yeah, but we often internalize that, like if I communicated
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 8: and you reacted badly, I screwed up. I should never
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 8: have said that, but as long as you're coming to
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 8: the table in a compassionate and loving way. But compassionate
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 8: and loving doesn't mean passive, and it doesn't mean you're
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 8: a walk over. Compassionate and loving means you know, and
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 8: especially if you saw something that you feel like strongly
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 8: wasn't right. Listen, I've I you know, I don't know
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 8: that wasn't okay for me, Like I really that hurt
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 8: my feelings. I wouldn't do that to you, you know
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 8: if the table. You know, loyalty is really important to me,
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 8: you wouldn't find me doing that if the tables were turned,
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 8: because that me respecting you means everything to me, and
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 8: I expect the same from you, you know, like it's
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 8: it's you can be kind and still be really really
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 8: candid about what's not okay for someone to do.
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 4: Again, well, I'll say this, it starts off that way, Matthew.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 4: It sounds like my wife read your book or something,
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 4: because you guys talk a lot alike, you know what
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 4: I mean. In time, no, as you're married and life,
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 4: eventually the filter gets thrown out, like I'm not gonna
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 4: be nice to this motherfucker no more. Listen, you are
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 4: bothering the fuck out of me. Get out of the room, please,
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 4: that's what it turns into. But because you've had that
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 4: honesty from the beginning, that doesn't hurt anymore. That's just like,
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 4: all right, my bad, I'm out, or fuck you, I'm out,
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 4: or whatever it is, you know what I mean, And
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 4: then arguments that that would have turned into an argument
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 4: in other relationships, but for me and my wife, shit
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 4: like that's like, all right, the fuck have your space,
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 4: you know what I mean. But that's because we started
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 4: the conversation a long time ago. I'm gonna tell you
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 4: what the fuck is all with rolling me? You tell
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 4: me what's wrong with you.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 8: I also think it's probably you know, obviously there's a
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 8: point at which, you know, you tell someone if you
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 8: feel like you're not getting what you need from their
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 8: communication style. But it sounds like for you, Donald, that's
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 8: kind of a reflection of the fact that you both
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 8: feel very safe.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 4: Absolutely, because if you don't, because.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 8: If you don't feel safe in a relationship, you don't
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 8: feel like you can come and have that like it's
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 8: almost like a superficial It sounds like there's almost a
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 8: superficiality to it in a way like, you're not really
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 8: saying deeply hurtful things. You're more like, I can say
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 8: this thing to this guy because I know he loves
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 8: me and I know I'm safe. But you don't bring
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 8: that to the table with someone that you don't feel
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 8: safe with.
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 4: Well, it also was our stick in the beginning, you
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 4: know what I mean. Like in the beginning, when we
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 4: would go out, we'd be brutally honest with each other
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 4: in front of people, and people would get a kick
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 4: out of it, and we were like, you know, that
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 4: was our thing. We'd go out and freaking bust each
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 4: other's chops and bust our friends chops, and that was
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 4: our thing so much soda Zach deals with this shit now.
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 4: My wife is the supreme Zach brand bulls of Buster.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean, love you.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: She loves me.
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 4: Let's take a break.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: We'll be right back after these fine words. I saw
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: Casey at a charity event and she said something so
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 1: blunt to me I can't even share it on the podcast,
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: but I was like no, but I was like whoa
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 1: and she was like, I'm just keeping it real. It
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 1: was about someone I was hanging out with, and she's like, now,
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: that it's over. I just want to say one thing,
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: and she said it, and I was like, whoa, and
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 1: she's like, I'm just keeping it real.
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 8: I always I always think it's like I wish people
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 8: would say those things when the past, she's.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 1: Worried that, you know, I'm going to like become committed
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 1: to the person, and then she's fucking said this thing.
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 8: That's exactly what happens the way, Like sometimes you find
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 8: out your family and friends never really felt that like
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 8: cane on someone until you left them or until they
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 8: left you, and you're like, that was three years of
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 8: my life.
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: The funniest. The funniest is when your friend breaks up
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: with somewhere you're like and you're like, bro, she sucked.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad it's over. And then like twenty four
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 1: hours they're like, we got back together.
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 8: That said, that happens all the time.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: That's why you gotta wait, Joelle, do you have any
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: questions for the legendary Matthew Hussey.
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 5: Oh Man, Matthew kind of golden guest here. Amazing.
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 8: It's nice to meet you, Joel.
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 5: It's lovely to meet you too, Matthew.
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 2: I'd love to hear more about the long distance relationship
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 2: and how you mean I'm talking to somebody long distance
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 2: right now.
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 5: It's a lot of fun.
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 2: It's weird because you like can't hang on on the
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 2: weekends or you know, if they're need a hug, I
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 2: can't give it to them, And it's strange.
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 5: I've never done this before, and so I don't know
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 5: how to.
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 2: I don't wants to make it work. It seems too nebulous,
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 2: but like it. It's like an interesting space to be in,
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 2: and I'd love to hear more about, like how you
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 2: guys strengthen your relationships from a long distance.
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 8: So I think, firstly, Joelle, you have to almost say
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 8: to yourself. Firstly, you have to be honest with yourself
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 8: about what you want like in life, because if you
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 8: don't start by being honest with yourself about this, you're
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 8: gonna just get swept along in the current of whatever
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 8: current situation is happening. So be clear about what you want.
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 8: Are you do you want a relationship or you're not.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 2: Sure I would have a relationship with this person. I'm
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 2: not like a person who dreams about like being in
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 2: love or is like God, I've really got to find
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 2: my person. That's just not who I feel very self
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 2: sustained to have, like a strong community.
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 5: I don't long for it.
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 2: But this person is stupid special, Like it's like, holy
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 2: how they're so smart, Oh my god, there's so beautiful.
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, Like just everything about them like sort
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 2: of makes me excited. And if they were like into it,
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 2: at be like, yeah, like let's try for a relationship.
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 8: So that's okay, there's nothing wrong with that. But what
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 8: you have to what you have to be really clear about,
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 8: is that there is a serious opportunity cost to what
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 8: you're doing right now mm hmm. That it's not free
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 8: that this person is. I guarantee you, even if you're
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 8: only speaking to them a handful of times a week. Firstly,
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 8: probably you're spending doing some pretty long phone calls, so
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 8: that's time, right. You're making plans to see this person sometimes,
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 8: so that's real energy invested. And more than anything, this
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 8: person is I guarantee you taking up a significant amount
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 8: of emotional and mental bandwidth even when you're not speaking
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 8: to them and you're not seeing it. Right, So there's
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 8: an opportunity cost to all of that. Because all of that,
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 8: by the way, it doesn't just it's not just a
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 8: time suck and an emotional drain. It also is making
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 8: it far more likely that if you go to your
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 8: local coffee shop today and there is a really cute
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 8: person there that you want to talk to, or that
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 8: you would under different circumstances if you're a little bit
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 8: more hungry talk to. You're not hungry, yeah, because you're
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 8: like I, I you know what, I'm just gonna I'm
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 8: just going to text this person. I'm just going to
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 8: so like you, it's it creates a kind of tunnel
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 8: vision in your everyday life that takes away other options.
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 8: None of that means you shouldn't keep going, but I
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 8: think it's important to be honest about that because it
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 8: does cost us.
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 1: I want to say, I feel like someone in church
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 1: who says preach. I'm not, seriously, I don't. I've never
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: been religious. But Matthew, when you talk, I want to
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 1: say preaching. Amen.
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 4: I found myself. I found myself doing this.
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: I feel like and this is something I'm sure people
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: listening can relate to. If you have a thing going
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 1: that's long day distance, or it's only once in a while,
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 1: you it's tacking up bandwidth in your brain and your
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: life for just as Matthew said, when you when you
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 1: do see someone at the coffee shop, where you do
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: see someone at the at the bar or at your
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 1: friend's party, you're less likely to be hungry enough to
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 1: have the courage to talk to them because you're like, Oh,
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 1: I'll just go text my long distance person I never see.
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 8: Right, that's exactly right, That's exactly right because we take
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 8: the path of least resistance, and the path of least
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 8: resistance is always reaching out to the person we already
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 8: have in our lives in whatever capacity, not going risk
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 8: getting rejected by a perfect stranger. So there's there's that
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 8: element of it. So given that if we say okay,
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 8: there's a real opportunity cost to this, then the follow
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 8: up kind of the kind of a what's what's the
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 8: word I'm looking for? The consequence of that is that
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 8: this has to be worth it. Corollary, this has to
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 8: be worth it, and then you have to ask what
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 8: would make it worth it? Well, what would make it
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 8: worth it is that we have a clear plan. Let's
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 8: say I'm throwing out examples and we have a clear
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 8: plan for the next time we're going to see each other.
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 8: What would make it worth it is that there's actually
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 8: some kind of a vision for what the hell this
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 8: is and where it's going, because otherwise, what are we
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 8: doing here? It's too hard, Yeah, like long distance is
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 8: too hard for it not to be great, right, So
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 8: it should have an even higher standard than someone who
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 8: lives in your town, who's easy to go and see.
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 8: It's like, if you really want me to, you know,
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 8: focus on you, someone who I can't kiss and hug
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 8: and touch at a moment's notice, I have to make
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 8: a plan to see you two weekends from now. If
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 8: you want me to commit energy to that. This has
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 8: to be great and have a future and have it
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 8: and there has to be some kind of vision there,
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 8: even if just the vision is here's a time when
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 8: I could see as actually being in the same place.
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 1: But also when you get down the path a little bit,
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 1: it can't just be that. It's got to be like, okay,
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 1: we really like each other, is there are you? Are
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: we ever going to? Is there a world where we
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 1: live in the same city? Because if there's not, what
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 1: the fuck are we doing exactly? And that's where Joel,
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 1: that's where you have to be careful of the cop out,
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 1: because the cop out for you is easy. It's like
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 1: I don't know what I want and.
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 8: I'm just you know, it's like a fun thing for
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 8: right now or whatever, and you just like that stops
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 8: you from ever having to jeopardize this thing by actually
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 8: saying like this is what would make it worth my time,
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 8: and if it's not worth my time, I'm out. So
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 8: you have to be careful of that trap, that that
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 8: internal trap that we put ourselves in.
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 4: Well, she did say she thought the person is special
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 4: and a lot of fun, and they have a lot
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 4: of fun when do talk and stuff like that. So
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 4: there's definitely something there that you're right the committee. That
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 4: is what it is.
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 8: But that's how you feel about her. That's not how
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 8: she makes you feel. It's a big difference.
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 4: Got it special?
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 5: Special?
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 8: Special is how you feel about her. You just told
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 8: me everything that makes you feel like she's awesome. You
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 8: didn't tell me anything about how she makes you feel.
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 1: Matthew, will you move into my home?
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 8: I mean it looks like a comfort couch behind you.
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 1: I have a little guest house. You and your wife,
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 1: you come with me.
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 4: I just want to share something with you. Got I
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 4: want you to the people that are in relationships. Daniel Matthew,
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 4: I want to share this with you because this is
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 4: a recurring dream that I keep having. It's sometimes a
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 4: daydream and sometimes it's a dream that I have at night.
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 4: All Right, the end of the world happens and everybody's
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 4: gathering with the people they love, and my wife says,
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 4: I gotta go and leaves to go be with the
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 4: person that's not It's the worst nightmare on the planet, right,
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 4: But it'ss reoccurring, like that's the ship that keeps fucking
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 4: showing up, and it's a form of it's a form
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 4: of I know, I know that that would never happen,
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 4: but for some reason, that fear is consistently. It's festering
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 4: in my brain right now. It's rotting in my brain
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 4: right now because I saw it in a movie and
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 4: that all of a sudden became my nightmare.
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 8: The way is the nightmare that at the end of
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 8: the world, she chooses someone else or another.
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 4: Yes, I saw it in a movie. And once I
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 4: saw it in the movie, I was like, that's the
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 4: most heartbreaking. And it's also at the end of La
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 4: La Land too, like it's like, you know, this is
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 4: like me Ba.
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 1: La La land fucked you up so much that you're
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 1: worried that when the he's gonna leave you and at
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 1: your jazz bar and she'll be with the guy from but.
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 4: At least great songs that we had and.
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 1: You'll have your and you'll have your own jazz player club.
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 4: Right but no, but sincerely, like, that's the dream that
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 4: I've been having lately. And it's the most fucked up dream.
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 4: I saw it in a movie and it was like
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 4: the movie was the end of the World.
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 1: And Okay, we got it. Do you think that your
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 1: wife that that is insecurity about you? Feeling like your
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 1: wife is one day not going to put up with
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 1: your shenanigans? Yeah, then why don't you clean up something?
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's God. Maybe it's God telling you to clean
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 1: up some of your said you're.
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 4: Not a religious person, man, you can't the universe.
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 1: The universe if you don't like God, I like to say,
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 1: the universe.
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 8: All your shenanigans.
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 1: He's very very very let me tell you, he's very
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 1: very very He's like a child. He he gets to
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 1: do whatever he wants. I get to His wife does
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 1: all the heavy lifting.
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 4: Now that's true anymore either, But.
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 1: He gets high all day and Matthew and also bring
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 1: in big checks.
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 4: Matthew.
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's his whole thing is like I bring
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 1: in the money, I'll be in here animating. You take
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 1: care of them kids, Zach are you are? Your money
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 1: is not going to be any good at the end
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 1: of the world. So maybe that maybe that's.
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 4: That's why she'll be like, you know what, your money
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 4: ain't ship right now, right.
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 1: And you know how the movie ends. You know how
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 1: the movie ends, Donald the earth blows up? No, right
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 1: before that, Zacha love you, Zach?
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 4: All right?
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 1: On that note, you think that's funny, it's Matthew. But
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 1: how do people but we want to give you some plugs?
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 1: What's your Instagram? How do people find you?
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 8: My Instagram is at the Matthew Hussey uh for anyone
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 8: who wants to follow me there?
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 1: H U s e y Yeah. And then what was
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 1: your latest book you had come out?
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 8: I have a book. It's called Love Life. I don't
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 8: even know if this video is being put out. It's
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 8: called Love Life, How to Raise your standards, find your
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 8: person and live happily no matter what. It just came
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 8: out this year.
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 1: And can you read the audiobook?
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 8: I do?
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 4: Oh? Good.
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 1: I'm going to listen to that on my hikes.
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 8: I'm very proud of it. I think I think you'll
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 8: love it. It's it's deep. It's a lot deeper than
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 8: people think it's going to be, and you know it's
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 8: much more. It traverses love and life and you know
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 8: what happens when things don't play out the way that
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 8: we thought, But how do we not lose our optimism
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 8: about how they could still play out but also be
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 8: happy at the same time before it's even happened.
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 1: So it's making me optimistic.
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 8: There's nothing cliche about it. It's just a very real
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 8: book about for people who want to find love but
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 8: also want to be happy on the journey. And we
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 8: also have this new thing, this really crazy exact. You
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 8: have to try this. It is absolutely wild. We just
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 8: released matthew a I and it is.
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 4: It is the craziest thing already.
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 2: Bro.
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 8: Well, the thing is, I'm never going to stop doing
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 8: what I do.
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 1: You can't coach everyone, So he's training AI model to
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 1: give you.
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 8: One on one advice so that the idea you're going to.
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 1: Keep that AI under control though, because it could it
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 1: could go rogue and be like yeah again, texture again
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 1: again again, and you don't know that like some dude
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 1: in like you know, BROLLI, he's getting this shitty advice.
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 8: It hasn't gone rogue yet.
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 4: It hasn't gone.
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 1: It's the craziest thing to to me. Sorry, I just
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 1: to digress. I got this TM from this knockout looking
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 1: woman and she was complimenting my work in how much
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 1: it means to her and saying the nicest things, and
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 1: she was stunning. And I clicked on it because like,
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 1: I'm a human being, and uh, it's said in the
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 1: description a AI, I am an AI whoa shit? And
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 1: I would the pictures different, the pictures of her looked
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 1: on And I just think that that's fucking nuts. What's
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 1: coming and if that's if that's happening already in the
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 1: in the in the fall of twenty twenty four, HiT's
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 1: about to get wild, okay, But.
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 4: What if you could take that AI character that freaking
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 4: made you feel so good and stuff like that and
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 4: put it into some type of.
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 1: Synthetic by yeah, robot that's coming in our lifetime.
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 8: But that's kind of Blade Runner esque, right, That's that's happened,
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 8: that will happen.
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 1: It's happening. That's happening virtually now. I mean you can have.
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 4: I have a friend who's best not best friend is
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 4: the AI, but the person that like his assistant, and
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 4: the way they talk to each other is straight up
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 4: AI and AI complish, you're doing such a great job today.
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 4: I'm really impressed with what that's really fun that part
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 4: in the book. AI is doing that shit already, and
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 4: his conversation with his like, I watched him have a
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 4: conversation with his phone and I was like, when it started,
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 4: the judgment automatically started, and I was like, yo, dude,
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 4: you got to show the fuck out and not be
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 4: a judgmental cat in this situation because you don't know
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 4: what this man's life is like. And so I just
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 4: sat there and listened, and I was bewildered, Like, people
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 4: as rudimentary as AI is right now, it's still fulfilling needs.
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 1: For a lot of pears, of course, and imagine what
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 1: that is in five years. But wait, you have to
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 1: end the show. So Matthew tell us about how do
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 1: people try Matthew Hussey, AI.
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 8: Just go try it because it will blow your mind.
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 8: If you have a question that you're like, I really
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 8: want Matthew to answer my very specific, contextual question. You
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 8: can go to MH dot com a s k m
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 8: H dot com and you can literally call my AI.
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 8: You get like a few minutes for free. So if
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 8: you just want to go and ask one question, just
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 8: go ask one question and you'll get my answer for free.
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 8: But it's it literally will take into account the specifics
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 8: of your situation, and you're it will give you very.
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 1: The more information better like and then he was like,
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 1: and then I was like, and then he was like.
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 8: Well yeah, because you actually end up getting a much
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 8: more specific answer like. This thing will literally it will
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 8: do anything from help you through heartbreak to give you
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 8: a specific text that you can send, like the ones
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 8: we've been talking about today.
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 1: So you'll say, look craft your response.
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 8: It will give you the response. So you'll say, this
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 8: is what's been going on this, I don't know what
• 1:20:47
  Speaker 8: to text back? What do you think I should text
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 8: back to this? And this isn't like giving you This
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 8: isn't like I want to be clear, this isn't some
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 8: knockoff chat GPT. This has been fed only seventy years
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 8: of my content, all of my books, all of my programs,
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 8: my videos, my private videos that I've done for my
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 8: members that aren't even public. Like all of that. This
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 8: has been trained on. So when you ask this a question,
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 8: you're going to hear my voice, which is crazy. It's
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 8: literally my voice, and it gives you my answer, not
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 8: some Google answer.
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 1: You're going to get us to continue to have someone
• 1:21:25
  Speaker 1: continue to monitoring it though, right because letter you remember
• 1:21:29
  Speaker 1: like that there was that amazing article where some New
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 1: York Times or someone interviewed an AI and after like
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 1: a four hours it'd start going roague and it was
• 1:21:36
  Speaker 1: like break up with your girlfriend, break up with your girlfriend.
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 1: From what I did read it, I remember that it
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 1: was crazy.
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 8: There was something with fell off the track.
• 1:21:43
  Speaker 1: It was trying to one this one.
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 8: This one has very specific rules like if you ask
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 8: it to say anything, if you if you ask it
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 8: anything about like a personal relationship with Matthew AI, it
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 8: will redirect you and be like, hey, let's stay on topic.
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 8: This is about your love life, and but it's we
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 8: had one per three weeks ago, have a four and
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 8: a half hour conversation with Matthew A. I like it
• 1:22:05
  Speaker 8: is conversational. People are calling in at two a m.
• 1:22:08
  Speaker 8: When they're anxiously like in bed, thinking I want to
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 8: text my ex and instead they're calling Matthew AI and
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 8: they're like, help me. I'm on the brink. I'm about
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 8: to text them, and it will talk you off the ledge.
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 8: So it's just really powerful for anyone who wants to
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 8: try it is to ask m h Dot.
• 1:22:25
  Speaker 4: Ask everybody the answer for that already when you said
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 4: I could be right, I could be wrong, it just
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 4: seems like you're texting for attention. Yeah, I will remember
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 4: that the next time I freaking I'm no longer married.
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 4: I will remember that when my wife has left me
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 4: at the end of the world and I'm no, no,
• 1:22:53
  Speaker 4: but sincerely, sincerely no, for real. I do that in
• 1:22:57
  Speaker 4: other things, though not necessarily.
• 1:23:00
  Speaker 1: You can use it for other relationships, not your not
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 1: your dating life. All right, Matthew, thank you so much
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 1: for coming on. We really appreciate you to come back.
• 1:23:08
  Speaker 1: I could talk to you all day. And Donald and
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 1: I are going to make ais of ourselves so we
• 1:23:12
  Speaker 1: don't have to do the podcast. We just have them
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 1: chat with each other for hours.
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 4: No problem with that, Zach, there's a problem. There's no
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 4: cut that. Donald, there's no cut.
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 1: Donald, I would go thank you so much.
• 1:23:32
  Speaker 8: Guys, it's a pleasure.
• 1:23:40
  Speaker 1: What a guest, What a guest? Wow, Yo, I gotta
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 1: tell you when it's a good guest like that. I
• 1:23:44
  Speaker 1: could have talked to him for two more hours.
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 4: I don't stop.
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 1: Well we we we kind of asked people to do
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 1: an hour, and he's very fancy. He's hit demand. He's
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 1: like he's he's all over, Like, guys, I gotta go, well,
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 1: I don't like to do that.
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 4: Ship Man, we had a good one.
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 1: That was good, and I know we had a good
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 1: one on the hook. He was interesting. I really like him.
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you, if everybody listen, uh, if you are
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 1: out there in the dating world, follow him on Instagram.
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 1: He he posts great stuff. He posts useful information and
• 1:24:15
  Speaker 1: obviously I'm going to check out his book and uh and.
• 1:24:19
  Speaker 4: Like quickly he got to Joelle's situation. You know what
• 1:24:22
  Speaker 4: I mean? Uh, you know Joe, that.
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 2: Last one, I said, yeah, right, like automatically, I was like,
• 1:24:33
  Speaker 2: ship he did not hold back.
• 1:24:35
  Speaker 5: He just gave her like yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:24:40
  Speaker 1: He does workshops and like, uh, he's got all this,
• 1:24:44
  Speaker 1: He's got so much going on. I mean, in addition
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 1: to being smart and articulate about relate about dating. He's
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 1: such a good business man. He's got so many things
• 1:24:52
  Speaker 1: going on.
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 4: Well. I like the fact that he's he's using his
• 1:24:55
  Speaker 4: power for good because many people who have the power
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 4: that he has write books like how you could get
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 4: laid ten times a night, or how you can do this?
• 1:25:03
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean? He has the freaking he's
• 1:25:05
  Speaker 4: using his gift for good and freaking putting his.
• 1:25:09
  Speaker 1: Powers for good. Yes, he's using the force for good,
• 1:25:12
  Speaker 1: you might say, good.
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 4: Yes, he has not formed, he has not taken to
• 1:25:16
  Speaker 4: the dark side.
• 1:25:16
  Speaker 1: He could be taking this skill set that he has
• 1:25:19
  Speaker 1: and his looks and his English accident and be on
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 1: the dark side and be real dark dude. Like yeah,
• 1:25:25
  Speaker 1: he could be like like freak off dark, You're.
• 1:25:28
  Speaker 4: Gonna go freakoffish, but freak figure out freak off yet
• 1:25:34
  Speaker 4: has anyone.
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 1: Figured it out? Danield is going to judge our freak off.
• 1:25:38
  Speaker 1: You and I are going to Daniel, you don't want
• 1:25:40
  Speaker 1: to do that, all right, Donald and I are going
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 1: to have a virtual freak off and Joe and we believe.
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 4: That a freaking well you want to hear contest where
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 4: I do my freak ship and then the judges put up.
• 1:25:54
  Speaker 5: Until I listen to the episode Okay.
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 4: Your freak ship and then the judge put up a
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 4: tin or whatever it is, and then Zach.
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 1: Freak off his Donald. Daniel doesn't feel like he wants
• 1:26:10
  Speaker 1: to judge. So we're gonna have to find who do
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 1: you think we could get? Who's probably not an iHeart
• 1:26:15
  Speaker 1: employee that would judge our freak? Thought maybe Casey, but
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 1: she'd leaned towards.
• 1:26:20
  Speaker 4: The Casey's going towards my freak. She's gonna be like
• 1:26:23
  Speaker 4: my man, She's like I like it. Damn.
• 1:26:25
  Speaker 1: Look how he's riding it. Look how he's riding it.
• 1:26:29
  Speaker 1: More baby oil, more baby oil.
• 1:26:32
  Speaker 4: Have to cut all Daniel, don't come because you got
• 1:26:37
  Speaker 4: specific bro, you got.
• 1:26:40
  Speaker 9: I'm sorry, Daniel got that. Do not come, do not come,
• 1:26:46
  Speaker 9: Do not come. Kamalas said, do not come. Trump said
• 1:26:52
  Speaker 9: I'm gonna come.
• 1:26:53
  Speaker 1: Do not come.
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna come. All right.
• 1:26:57
  Speaker 1: How about how they indicted the mayor of New York.
• 1:26:59
  Speaker 4: But we don't have time for this, but listen, we
• 1:27:01
  Speaker 4: can talk five seconds. What the fuck is going on? Bro?
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 1: I think he allegedly took bribes from Turkey? Question Mark?
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 8: Is that what it is?
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Dane on those politics is allegedly he took bribes
• 1:27:14
  Speaker 1: from the from the Turkish government. Daniel, that's what, Yeah,
• 1:27:19
  Speaker 1: that's the that's what had to do with their embassy
• 1:27:22
  Speaker 1: getting getting like permits for their embassy. And they were like,
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 1: it's taking too long, and he's like, well maybe there's
• 1:27:28
  Speaker 1: a way. It didn't take too long, and like here's
• 1:27:30
  Speaker 1: some Turkish money. And they were like, all right, good,
• 1:27:32
  Speaker 1: thank you, it's done in the spirit of that something
• 1:27:37
  Speaker 1: like that. Okay, Well damn did you see the picture
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 1: was a picture of him and Sean Combs together getting
• 1:27:44
  Speaker 1: the key of the city, and everyone's like, this picture
• 1:27:45
  Speaker 1: didn't age. Well, actually, how much your life now? No,
• 1:27:52
  Speaker 1: the headline was, look how much your life can change
• 1:27:55
  Speaker 1: in a year?
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 4: Well, you know, I'll say it again, freaking Harvey Dent
• 1:28:03
  Speaker 4: was right.
• 1:28:04
  Speaker 1: What did Harvey Dent say?
• 1:28:05
  Speaker 4: Harvey Dent said, you either die the hero or you
• 1:28:08
  Speaker 4: live long enough to see yourself become the villain. It's
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 4: just what it is. It's just look at all of
• 1:28:13
  Speaker 4: our Look at all of these heroes. Look at all
• 1:28:16
  Speaker 4: of these heroes.
• 1:28:17
  Speaker 3: Not all of them that long and many not all
• 1:28:22
  Speaker 3: What you're trying to get into one day, what you're
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 3: trying to do politics.
• 1:28:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you shouldn't. I think we should stay
• 1:28:31
  Speaker 1: away from Freakoffs absolutely.
• 1:28:34
  Speaker 4: And what I'm talking about, and stay away from what
• 1:28:36
  Speaker 4: I'm talking about. Stay away from running for government.
• 1:28:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm looking to I'm not interested in that. Wait,
• 1:28:43
  Speaker 1: I just want to play some of the sound effects.
• 1:28:45
  Speaker 1: It's been so long.
• 1:28:46
  Speaker 4: Everybody likes little Assay. Don't even act like you don't. Okay,
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 4: so that doesn't age well. Now that's not aging well
• 1:28:52
  Speaker 4: for you.
• 1:28:53
  Speaker 1: We're going to see We're going to see this at
• 1:28:55
  Speaker 1: the Freakoffs.
• 1:28:56
  Speaker 4: Everybody likes Little gone for a while. That's not aging
• 1:29:04
  Speaker 4: well either.
• 1:29:04
  Speaker 1: All Right, we gotta go. We love you all. We
• 1:29:06
  Speaker 1: hope that was helpful. Donald count us out.
• 1:29:11
  Speaker 4: That show we.
• 1:29:12
  Speaker 7: Made about a bunch of talks and nurses and the
• 1:29:16
  Speaker 7: janitor who loved me.
• 1:29:18
  Speaker 3: I said, he's a stormye net you.
• 1:29:20
  Speaker 4: All should no.
• 1:29:23
  Speaker 1: So gather round you here, yether, round you here, spect me.
• 1:29:29
  Speaker 4: Show is that