Latest / Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design / 124 | Feeling Shame About “Losing Money”? Try These Money Mindset Reframes
Transcript
- 0:00Erin Gray: Do you ever feel like you've lost money on a course or a coach or an investment that possibly didn't turn out the way that you had anticipated?
- 0:09Erin Gray: In this episode, I want to reframe this idea of losing money, because money, I believe, is never truly lost.
- 0:17Erin Gray: It's circulated and moving and I have the belief that it always comes back to me multiplied.
- 0:22Erin Gray: Welcome back to your Money, your Rules podcast with me, erin Gray.
- 0:28Erin Gray: I'm grateful that you are joining me for another episode, so let's get into it.
- 0:32Erin Gray: So, first and foremost, you know I believe that money is really energy.
- 0:39Erin Gray: So if money is energy and energy is never created or destroyed then it can't actually be lost.
- 0:46Erin Gray: You know, when we say I lost money, it feels, I think in the body, like final, like it's gone, like there is this permanent decrease in our account and more like math, right, addition and subtraction, like it's gone or it's lower than what you had versus more, like a circle.
- 1:07Erin Gray: And it can also carry this energy of shame and guilt around it, like maybe we were feeling or we think that we're bad with money or we did something wrong.
- 1:19Erin Gray: And I want you to know that the truth is is money is always circulating, it's always flowing, and how we feel about money, how we circulate it, how we feel when we circulate it, will determine whether it comes back or it doesn't, or how quickly it returns to us.
- 1:40Erin Gray: So we get to decide about the money that we have invested.
- 1:44Erin Gray: We get to choose powerfully about every investment that we make.
- 1:49Erin Gray: So in ourselves, in our family, in our business.
- 1:53Erin Gray: However, we are circulating the money.
- 1:55Erin Gray: I always really like to think about investing money because I am, you know we are always.
- 2:02Erin Gray: I think we're always investing money.
- 2:04Erin Gray: I know we've been taught that we spend it or we've lost it, but I don't really.
- 2:08Erin Gray: That's not a belief that serves me.
- 2:10Erin Gray: So, whether it be in my business or myself, or clothes or houses or cars or vacations, it's all investing to me, who I am, what I believe I'm worthy and deserving of, and elevating my self-concept with each decision that I make.
- 2:29Erin Gray: And this is why I hold the belief that any money that I circulate returns to me at least doubled.
- 2:37Erin Gray: I've seen it in my life over and over again.
- 2:41Erin Gray: You know that money returns to me, multiplied three times, not always in the same source, right that it in the way that I invested it, but it always comes back and continues to flow and comes to me.
- 2:58Erin Gray: It just when I, when I think about beliefs and just any belief, specifically, you know, as we're talking about here with money, is that as?
- 3:06Erin Gray: Does it actually feel good in the body?
- 3:09Erin Gray: Does it actually move me forward and it doesn't have me feeling more empowered?
- 3:15Erin Gray: Or is it a belief that doesn't necessarily serve me and it leaves me feeling disempowered?
- 3:21Erin Gray: So when you really connect to your body and you start to think about I lost money, how do you actually feel in your body?
- 3:29Erin Gray: Do you contract?
- 3:30Erin Gray: Do you want to hide?
- 3:32Erin Gray: Do you not want to talk about it Versus thinking about what did I learn from investing that amount of money?
- 3:39Erin Gray: So how we actually label it, how we narrate the story, how we talk about it, matters.
- 3:47Erin Gray: If you tell yourself I wasted $8,000 or I lost that $8,000, or that it was a stupid decision or a silly decision, or on you know I'm never going to get that back, that to me feels very heavy, very guilt-ridden energy that keeps you in that vibration.
- 4:06Erin Gray: And this is some of the work that I do with clients to help them reframe how they see themselves as investors with their money and with their self-concept.
- 4:18Erin Gray: So if you are wanting support as you unravel your relationship with money.
- 4:22Erin Gray: I would love to support you.
- 4:24Erin Gray: You can schedule a clarity call by clicking on the link in the show notes or you can head over to my website Generate a Life Well Lived and click on the link, work with me and schedule a call.
- 4:35Erin Gray: I would love to see if we're a good fit for each other.
- 4:37Erin Gray: So if you were thinking instead, maybe like I invested that $8,000 and I learned so much from my decision and list out what you actually learned and the impact of that $8,000 had and that you trust that it will come back multiplied, then what happens is you're keeping yourself open, you're expansive, you're in self trust, you're in self belief.
- 5:04Erin Gray: Right In business and in life, we are going to make decisions where it's not going to go exactly the way that we think it would.
- 5:14Erin Gray: We have expectations, we have ideas, but that doesn't necessarily mean it always goes the way we think it would.
- 5:23Erin Gray: And the growth, I believe, is to love ourselves anyways.
- 5:27Erin Gray: It's to not make it mean anything about ourselves and to just keep moving forward.
- 5:33Erin Gray: So when circumstances happen in our life and I don't mean happen as in like oh, it just happened, but like when you invest money and it doesn't go the way that you want to.
- 5:42Erin Gray: What is the narrative that you're going to choose to tell yourself and keep moving forward?
- 5:48Erin Gray: You know, I earlier this year, I invested about $8,000 in a program that didn't deliver on what I thought it would.
- 5:56Erin Gray: It was very masculine.
- 5:58Erin Gray: You know, I had ridden my wave.
- 6:00Erin Gray: I had talked to the sales support staff.
- 6:03Erin Gray: I'd asked all my questions and then when I got into the program, how they said that they were going to help me create my YouTube channel, create my YouTube channel.
- 6:10Erin Gray: There were some parts that they left out when I asked my questions and you know, on their sales page and and things of that sort.
- 6:19Erin Gray: So I could have been mad at them, I could have been mad at myself, I could have been frustrated with myself that I invested 8,000, or I could have done what I did, which was I looked at it from the lens of so much clarity on how I actually want to run my programs in the future that I really do lean into the feminine side of business along with the masculine side and continue to trust myself.
- 6:45Erin Gray: You know, I learned my lesson.
- 6:47Erin Gray: One of the things that I'm grateful for is I learned my lesson at 8,000 instead of 80,000.
- 6:51Erin Gray: And I'm sure there probably will be a time that I learned the lesson at 80,000, because I'll be making that much more money and that is where my investing is at that time, right, so it's really all relative.
- 7:03Erin Gray: It's how we see every decision that we make and then what we make that mean about ourselves.
- 7:08Erin Gray: And the final thing that I want to discuss here is I always take it back to the body and the nervous system.
- 7:15Erin Gray: So when you view money as gone forever, it triggers this survival response, the fight, flight, freeze, which there is no space for creativeness, and it really lowers our vibration.
- 7:31Erin Gray: Now, lowering our vibration temporarily it isn't a problem, right, that's just part of having a human experience, having a human mind.
- 7:38Erin Gray: But when we are there, when we stay there and that is what I see with some women is that we beat ourselves up for extended periods of time.
- 7:46Erin Gray: That is where I'm referring to of like, staying in that lower vibration.
- 7:50Erin Gray: So the goal is to move quickly or quicker through what we encounter, to not stay in the trough and beat ourselves up.
- 8:00Erin Gray: And I'm not talking about bypassing what we feel, and I'm also saying that we don't have to make it mean anything about us.
- 8:07Erin Gray: We can feel, maybe that immediate shame or guilt comes up.
- 8:10Erin Gray: We can feel it because, really, what that is telling us is where do we already have that within ourselves, what you know?
- 8:17Erin Gray: Where did we maybe do something as a child and we felt shame and guilt from maybe someone saying something?
- 8:26Erin Gray: So that is allowing us to process what has been suppressed, but we don't need to continue to pile on more shame and guilt.
- 8:37Erin Gray: And so when you view it as an investment, an energetic circulation, then what happens is you are more in that creative state, your body relaxes, you feel powerful.
- 8:48Erin Gray: You, you know, you are open to more or other ways to create money.
- 8:56Erin Gray: In order to recap, you know the, the investment that you made.
- 9:01Erin Gray: And so I always just like to use things from an empowering.
- 9:02Erin Gray: I always just like to use things from an empowering standpoint versus using it to beat myself up, like there's nothing good that comes from beating ourselves up.
- 9:17Erin Gray: There's, I mean, when we are in judgment.
- 9:18Erin Gray: There is no learning, there's no place for curiosity, there's not a place for love.
- 9:22Erin Gray: And I think that is where, in the times where I would say and I'm air quoting that we make a mistake, that it didn't turn out the way we thought it would.
- 9:31Erin Gray: That is where we need more love, more compassion, more curiosity, so that we can learn and that we can evolve and grow.
- 9:41Erin Gray: So, to recap, money it's never lost, it's always moving, it's, it's supporting us, it's circulating.
- 9:48Erin Gray: You know, how you interpret an investment really shapes how you feel and what energy you're going to bring to your next decisions.
- 9:57Erin Gray: And this, I believe, is everything you know trust that money returns, often in ways that are even better than what you expect.
- 10:07Erin Gray: You know one of my mentors says that the greatest losses come right before the greatest gains.
- 10:14Erin Gray: So how would you feel about an investment that you made if you believe that that was actually true?
- 10:20Erin Gray: You know you get to decide what that investment meant for you.
- 10:26Erin Gray: That, I believe, is feeling truly empowered.
- 10:29Erin Gray: That is, embodying financial empowerment.
- 10:33Erin Gray: Thank you for tuning in today, for being here, for sharing your time with me.
- 10:39Erin Gray: If you are ready to receive support along your journey, I would love to guide you.
- 10:44Erin Gray: You can schedule a clarity call by heading to my website or going to the link in the show notes to schedule a call.
- 10:50Erin Gray: My website is generatealifewelllivecom or you can click the link in the show notes, like I mentioned.
- 10:56Erin Gray: Okay, I'll see you in the next episode.