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Are You "TOO OLD" to be a Youth Pastor? The Honest Truth. · Ministry Coach: Youth Ministry Tips & Resources

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: God's calling really does transcend our cultural obsession with age.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so we need to just be confident in if I'm still passionate about it, if I still want to do it, if I'm still called to do it, then my calling really does transcend our cultural obsession with age.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: There is a student who needs you, there is another leader who needs you, there is a parent who needs you to minister to them.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: There's a family who needs you.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: Don't let the enemy convince you that that has expired.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: Are you starting to feel too old to do youth ministry?
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: Today we're gonna talk about four perspective shifts that will help encourage you.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, where I give you weekly tips and tactics to help you fast-track the growth and health of your youth ministry.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Jeff Lascola, and this is Kristen Lascola.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: And today we are talking about what it's like to do ministry in your 40s, 50s, 60s.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: And beyond 30s?
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know because literally, if you're over 27, if you graduated from high school, you're old.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: I remember when I first started, I was like an intern and there was a team of like four or five of us on staff, and I didn't know how old one of the girls was.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Are you 27?
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: And she looked at me like, How dare you?
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: She's 25.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: And it was like, oh, 27?
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: The audacity of someone.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: And it was like crazy because, you know, like here's the thing.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: Number one, they're gonna call you old.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: They will.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like, if you're over 27, you're old in youth ministry, according to who?
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I don't know, according to students, not according to parents, probably.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: They probably appreciate the older you get, but students or younger leaders, you know, being a 20-year-old leader versus a 27-year-old leader is like, oh my gosh, 27, crazy.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: So we're gonna talk about today just sort of how to navigate aging in youth ministry when you're in your 30s, your 40s, your 50s, your 60s, your 70s, 80s.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what is the world record for the oldest youth pastor.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'd love to know if that person listens to this episode.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, that is number one.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like, they will call you old.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: So just get used to it.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: Don't take it personally.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's probably meant more in jest than malice.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: But if not, just tell them the story of Elisha and the youths in Second Kings and just be like, you just think about that.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, hey, God, God cares about how we treat his anointed and his called.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: So tell them to be nice to you.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, it's like one of those things that for some people they can just sort of let it roll off, like, ah, whatever, who cares?
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: We had a leader who was affectionately called old man Nixon.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: Which, so okay, I was the one who originally started calling him that.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but it had nothing to do with him, like his age.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: It was because he was grumpy.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: It was a total fluke thing where I was just joking.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Someone was like in a toilet paper's house, and I was acting like it was one of those old like after school specials where it's like, watch out for old man Nixon's house.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: And somehow that name stuck.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I always felt kind of bad.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, it wasn't because you were old, it was just a jokey kind of thing.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and that's how he took it.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: He loved it, he like loved that name, and it kind of became followed us to camp, like where all the dads would set up is called old man camp.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: And they love it, they love that name.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like, so some people like can take that and be like, ah, funny, whatever.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: And then some people maybe are more insecure about it, take it more personally, like, because here's the thing in our culture, like we're obsessed with age, like literally obsessed with age, but and age is just a number, but sometimes it's a really big number.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: I knew something dumb was coming when you said that.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: Because I'm like, that's not something bad jokes from an old man.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's not something Jeff would say.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: Age is just a number.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: But like God's calling really does transcend our cultural obsession with age.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so we need to just be confident in if I'm still passionate about it, if I still want to do it, if I'm still called to do it, then my calling, like we talked about a few episodes back, really does transcend our cultural obsession with age.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: And so just being confident, like you don't need to apologize for the year you were born.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's just like you can't help it.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's the year you were born.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: You don't need to apologize for continuing to be called into ministry.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: That is on God.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like when He wants to call you out, hopefully he'll make that absolutely clear to you.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: But if you are supposed to be there, then you just have to reconcile.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: People will maybe make a comment or make fun of you or try to get a jab or something in there, and you just have to be confident in, like we were talking about on that previous episode, just the confidence in your calling.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: So it is sometimes just I guess the bottom line is don't be surprised.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like people will make a comment, people will call you old.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: It may or may not be meant to hurt you, it may just be uh ingest kind of thing.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and also don't be surprised when a junior hire guesses your age because they have no clue.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like I think high schoolers are probably a little more accurate, but junior hires, like they'll say, like, I don't know, are you like 18 or 98?
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like they really don't know.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, they don't have any context.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like our friend Jed came over the other day, and he's I think I don't know how much younger he is than me.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: Anyways, he was asking his kids, like, who do you think's older, me or Kristen?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: And they said, you.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: And then he's like, Oh, who do you think's older, me or uh one of our other friends?
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: And he they were like, you.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: And he's like, I'm younger than both of them, you guys.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: But his kids are like seven and eight or something like that.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so yeah, kids just have a very interesting perspective, like on age and oldness and all of that.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: So you do have to take it with a grain of salt, you know, the comments that you'll get.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: Don't take that as, oh shoot, that must mean I've aged out or I'm not supposed to be here anymore.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: That's all of the things we're talking about, are just highly, highly cultural.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: And you just have to move past them because we don't answer to culture on anything, right?
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like I don't work for the culture.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like they're not the one who called me into ministry.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: I don't really care.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: I work for the Lord.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so when He's ready to call me out, I just hope and pray.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: I will, I will not miss that announcement.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that the sorry, not to cut you off, but I think the ones that you're you are ministering to do not care about your age.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: And the ones you're the one you're ministering for, God, does not care about your age.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's there's there are certain jobs, I think, in the world, like off the top of my head, sports come into, you know, it's like you can't be a certain, not you say you can't be, once you hit certain ages in certain sports, like football, they always say like 30 years old.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Which is wild.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: I know, isn't that crazy?
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Is like, uh, now you're on the they always say they're on the wrong side of 30.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: And once you, you know, like unless you're like Tom Brady or something that can get really, you know, old and still be at a playing at a high level, most people are kind of like, oh, now you're you're timing out, you know, your expiration date is coming up.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: But it's like their bodies go through so much.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: True.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, there's there's they slow down, things like that.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: But like no one would say, like, oh, I hired a plumber and he came over and he was like 50.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: So like I don't know.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: Spring chicken.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like a doctor or a lawyer.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you wouldn't sometimes you might even think the other way.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this lawyer was only 25.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know if he knows what he's doing.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, yeah.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: And that's a whole other episode, like the stigma of being too young in ministry.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, we could do a whole other episode on that.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: But you're right, it it's kind of like a weird youth pastor thing of like age is a factor, a thing culturally, right?
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: Not calling-wise.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: So, number two, don't try to be cool.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like, don't force it.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: I remember Jimmy Fallon used to have this skit on Saturday Night Live about his stepdad Gary.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: Ow.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: The ew skit.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's old, but it was so funny because Gary would come down, he's all, hey, funky bunch, what are you guys doing?
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: There's a part.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: Gary, run that!
• 9:08
  unknown: Ow.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I always just think, like, oh, like when you try too hard to be cool, it just gets very cringy.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: Just be yourself, right?
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like I heard this quote.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know where it came from, but I loved it.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: It said, warmth is the new cool.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, yeah, relational warmth.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like you were saying before, like the kids you minister to really don't care about your age.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: What do they care about?
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: They care about your warmth, your relational warmth.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: That should be much, much more of a focus than how cool uh you are in the kids' eyes.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like in that same breath, like being cool is super overrated in youth ministry, and at the same time, super undervalued by kids in youth ministry when you look closer, because on the surface, you see like kids are kind of attracted to like the young, cool leaders or whatever.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: So on the surface, yeah, it does appear that way sometimes.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: But when stuff hits the fan, and when they're looking for answers, when they are looking for comfort, when they're looking for wisdom, when they're looking for life experience and strong leadership, you like older leaders are usually there for that.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: And they bring so much more to the table in terms of like leadership and confidence and uh common sense, patience, wisdom, problem solving.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like no offense to my young leaders.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: I love you guys so much.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: However, if you were to have me choose, you can do a weeklong summer camp with a whole team of 20-year-olds or a whole team of 50-year-olds, I would take the 50-year-olds every time.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I think my 20-year-old leaders would feel the same way, you know, because it's just they provide leadership that you can't get any other way.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: I would, I would put my life in a lot of their hands, my older leaders.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: Would I put my life in my 20-year-old hands?
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: The lifeguards, yeah.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: If I was drowning, I have a few lifeguards on my team, but they know CPR, some first aid, but like like these like parents that have been through it, and these moms and dads who have cared for their own kids and gone to the hospital and dealt with an injury and had, you know, seen their kids through heartbreak and trauma and medical things, like those are the people that I'm like, I don't want to ever go anywhere without you guys, you know.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: So I feel like the older adults, and here's what I've noticed to be very interesting because obviously it's not just about me, but we do baptisms at camp, at summer camp in the river, and it amazes me every single time we do baptisms, my older adults end up baptizing a ton of kids.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: A ton.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: So it's not like, oh, you're old, I don't want to be close with you, but who's that guy who can do a backflip off the raft?
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: He's the one I want to baptize me.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I have felt like in some years, the cooler, younger leaders, whether they're the musicians or they dress cool or they just have the vibes, they might be overlooked for something meaningful like a baptism.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: And instead, my kids choose, because we let kids pick who do you want to baptize you?
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's not like, well, Kirsten's the youth pastor, she's gonna baptize everybody.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's like if you had a connection, a spiritual connection with one of our leaders, ask them.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: And wildly enough, it's usually my older leaders that end up baptizing kids that they themselves are even like, whoa, that kind of surprised me.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know that we were that close.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, these kids had a connection with me, and I didn't even really realize it.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: The one that amazes me a lot is he's not even a small group leader.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: I mentioned my medic, JP, last year.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_01: He comes on all my camps as a medic.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: He uh is the head of security and all of that.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_01: He doesn't even have a small group.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yet there has not been one summer camp he has not baptized a kid.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like he always baptizes kids because he just forms these relationships with them.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: He cares for them, he's warm with them, he he asks them like deeper questions.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_01: He's so like he might be the medic, but he has a ministry because he cares deeply about kids.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: He doesn't just care about was I cool at camp, did everyone like me?
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_01: Did I like, you know, sometimes people use youth ministry as a platform for their own ego.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the younger you are, the more you can kind of slip into that because you want to like show up and be like the guy in like pit vipers with like drinking a Celsius, and all the kids are like, oh my gosh, wow.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: But when it comes to like spiritual matters, I've just seen a pattern that kids usually gravitate toward depth over cool.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: Now, if you're cool and deep, good for you.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: That's probably me, like a category I would fall into.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, um, just kidding.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: But it's like, you know, I'm not putting down being cool.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: I think we need cool people in youth ministry.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_01: Kids love that.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just saying if one is devoid of the other, it's kind of like, well, kids are going to default ultimately to who gave them the spiritual relational depth.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I find that really, really, really cool.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: As you're talking, I was kind of thinking, you know, obviously there's a place, a very important place for both um younger leaders, olderly leaders, and things like that.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: But in this case, we're talking about, I'm kind of wondering if the younger leaders have sort of like, this is my cool older brother or my cool older sister that I love and I look up to and I want to play with them and have so much fun with them.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: Chef, did you read the notes?
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: Because that's where I'm going next.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: I did not.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: I never read your notes.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you're jumping the gun.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: You ready to go there?
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: Well, then I was gonna say, but when you're you have the skinned knee, you go to mom or you go to dad.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that kind of is like a microcosm or of of life, where yeah, they love the younger leaders, love having fun, things like that.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes when that when the depth like you're talking about comes, it's like, I got a problem, I gotta go to mom or dad.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_01: So well, and that's what I was gonna say.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like number three, surround yourself.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: Wait, let me see what number four is.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: Uh surround yourself as a pastor or a leader with like your youth ministry should be representing all generations because of what you just said.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_01: Every age is valuable to a student, like you said before I did.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_01: Every kid needs, okay, the older brother and sister, or like that older friend, you know, then like maybe the cool aunt and uncle, even a mom and dad, and a grandma and grandpa.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like every single one of those has something to offer to a child's spiritual development, social development, emotional development, leadership development, all of that, because every single one of them brings out a different side for the child, or can meet them where they're at in a different way, or has something to offer in a different moment, or something like that.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like when we do our belly flop competition and these young guys are launching everyone and making a big thing, and they make it so fun.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: They bring energy and hype.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's not that they don't have wisdom, they totally do.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: But then, you know, like I watch my older leaders like just come around a kid who's super homesick and have so much compassion and patience and kindness because they put their, like, this is what I do.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: I put my own child's face on that child.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas when I was 20, I was like, I don't know, like go to bed, you'll be fine.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: But now I look at this kid like, how would I want an adult to treat my child if I wasn't here to comfort them?
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what lengths would I want them to go to?
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like, would I want them to uh pray with them?
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: Would I want them, you know, instead of just seeing kids as something to be managed, you know, like I did maybe when I was 18, 19, 20.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: And so now I see just, oh my gosh, like when this kid goes home and shares their experience with their parent, I hope they can, the parent would look back and be proud of like, that's exactly what I would have wanted someone to do for my child.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: So it gives you a different perspective, you know, and the grandma-grandpa thing too, you know, it's just you look at kids differently after you've raised one start to finish as well.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: And that perspective is so valuable in student ministries as well.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: And because those people, grandmas and grandpas, they like literally know what's actually important in life.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_01: And they actually know what's important with a kid, and they tend to not over-discipline, which I really like that about the grandma-grandpa age for serving is parents, parent age tends to over-discipline or be very harsh on kids because they are like, I discipline kids all day, you know, and they're it's just like such a quick mode for them.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas the grandma and grandpa age is so nice at like holding accountable, but they don't overdo the discipline.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_01: They like can still see the like, hey, they're just kids, you know, it's not the end of the world kind of thing.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, just give them and then these are hard candy from their purse or Worthers from their wallet.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: Sounds delicious.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: I could go for a Worthers right now.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_01: Haven't had one in a while.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: There's been a bag of Worthers in our office fridge for like nine months, and I would love to know fridge.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, probably so ants don't get it, but like who whose is this?
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: There's like actually three of them.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, why whose are these?
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: Someone eat them or figure it out.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe I'll have one tonight when I go to church.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'll be there in a couple hours.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: Cold Worthers.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: Refreshing.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's like 95 degrees here today.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's way too hot.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, friend, I just wanted to interrupt this episode for a second to let you know about an awesome opportunity for you and your youth ministry.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_01: So last year we launched our course and coaching program called Youth Ministry Growth Accelerator, and the response has been amazing.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: So we've helped tons of youth pastors grow the size and health of their youth ministry, and we want to invite you to be a part of that as well because maybe you're just sort of feeling stuck in a rut, maybe you don't know what to do next.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you just have a vague plan in your mind of what you're doing, and you want some real help to get you from where you are to where you want to go.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: So if that sounds like something you've been looking for, go to growyouryoutministry.com and check it out for more details.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: All right, let's get back to the episode.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, and then lastly, as the youth pastor, you know, just remember as an older youth pastor, if you are, here's here's another really huge value set you bring is you.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: We've been talking about like the relationship between you and the students, but what about with you and the younger leaders?
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I realized, man, that is so much of my job.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: Of like young leaders are usually in a personal space where they could use a lot of mentorship.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: They might be in college or moving out of the house or in a serious relationship and headed toward marriage and wanting life advice.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: I remember a long time ago I had one.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um, she got in a fight with her mom and like actually ended up living with us for like a week or something.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_01: Or, you know, they'll come to me with their boyfriend, girlfriend questions and marriage things and relationship advice for, you know, should I marry this person or what should I do here?
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: Can you hold me accountable in this area?
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I love that.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_01: I think like the young leaders bring so much to the table and we need them, and I love them and they hype everything up, but they also need an older leader for them, you know.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like this split time between like a youth pastor who has experience, obviously ministering to students, but being that sounding board, that mentor, that wisdom piece for the young leaders as well and caring for them.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_01: Because if you're all the same age, so if it's a 22-year-old youth pastor and a 20-year-old leader, you're really not much further ahead of them.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: And your stage of life doesn't mean you don't have anything to bring to the table.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_01: But in this context, yeah, it's like they love someone who's a little bit further ahead, you know.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we go to coffee or lunch and talk about life and how they're doing and what they're struggling with.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: With and it's such a cool, like pseudo ministry.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like that's sort of budded and has brought just a ton of richness to our relationship, my role with them.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just super valuable.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like because when I was the same age as the younger ones, I could offer friendship.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, we would go and do a ton of fun, silly things together as friends.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: But now I can offer mentorship and leadership, which is super cool.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I've loved that, like, oh, I didn't see, you know, like sometimes in youth ministry, just like random, like, I didn't see that coming kind of stuff will pop up.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: And that's one that I didn't see necessarily coming.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: But I love, love, love, love.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, they're saying as a Christian, you should always have a Paul and a Timothy in your life.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: And it's kind of similar to um, in a sense of having, you know, someone that is older and wiser than you, and then someone younger that you can kind of mentor.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I remember I was in volunteering in in your ministry long enough that I was on both sides of that.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: Where when I was younger, I remember going to another older leader and asking him some about just certain um business financial stuff going on in my life at that time.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then years later, having a younger uh leader come to me and ask me for some financial advice and things like that.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: So I hadn't until you said that I hadn't really thought about that.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, just kind of being able to see both sides of that, you know, the older, the value that the older leaders and the younger leaders have in mentoring to each other.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of cool.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: And so I guess like as we wrap it up, like just if you're starting to feel like you're aging in youth ministry and you don't feel like the cool leader anymore or whatever, you know, just don't let it psych you out.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I think that could even be, we could argue that is an a tactic of the enemy to shake your confidence and make you think you're washed up and make you think you're not effective anymore.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: But if you're faithful and you love students and you know you are still doing the calling, I mean, cool is not your number one goal, you know?
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: And if you have enough younger leaders who are cool, let them carry the cool weight.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we don't need everyone to be cool.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_01: And here's the thing why?
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: Not every student is cool, by the way.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_01: And they sometimes don't want a cool leader, like they don't find that approachable.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_01: They want a real leader, and then there's like the cool kids who want a cool leader.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like, so we need all different kinds, but there is a student who needs you, there is another leader who needs you, there is a parent who needs you to minister to them, there's a family who needs you.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_01: You know, your job is more than just like being the cool person on stage for students, like a Pied Piper, like the depth of ministry that you have to offer.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_01: Like, don't let the enemy convince you that that has expired.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's just, I feel like it's just an insecurity.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: I guess the question is effectiveness because you can be effective at any age and any level of cool, right?
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: Just like your testimony will speak like so deeply to one person and maybe not so much to another, you know, like a leader that's really into skateboarding and snowboarding is going to connect with certain kids that another leader who's really into just football and baseball won't, you know what I mean?
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's a really shallow d example.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: Totally.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: But just comparing interests, even, you know, beyond just age, like what is your vibe?
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: What are you into?
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: Are you, you know, we had there was a leader you had for a while there who was really into more of like dungeons and dragons type stuff for a lack of a better way of describing it.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's like gather the magic the gathering or something.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and there was certain kids that were like, this is my oh, they would come early to hang out with him, and they would all sit at a table and play this game for like an hour before he's group, and he had his own little group, you know, and I loved that because and I watch like there's some kids that are like my velcro, they see me and they like are like huggy, lovey, like want to talk to me, want me to sit by them, want to sit next to me, like don't let me out of their sight.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_01: And then there's other kids who all be like, hi, so-and-so, and they like act like they don't even know me.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_01: And they have another leader that they really like, you know.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like the more variety you have, the better, because there's a variety of kids, you know, like how that's a great point.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you have these type of kids and these type of kids, so they're looking to mirror themselves in some kind of different type of leader.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_01: And truthfully, some of my oldest leaders, you know, the 40, 50, you know, um, that group, they are probably the most beloved, like consistently.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_01: And they've been there a long time.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_01: They show up, they're faithful, they're always like wanting the best for the kids.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like my kids love them, you know, like when it really matters.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's who they ask to baptize them.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_01: That's who they ask the hard questions to, that's who they want to like be in their small group, you know.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's just, it's wild.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, let that be an encouragement to you, no matter what stage of life you're in, that there's always going to be students that are going to be effectively ministered to by you.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: So keep that in mind.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we did an episode fairly recently about five or six myths in youth of ministry or something.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: And one of them kind of touched on this topic.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: But if you want to go back and take a look at that, um, that was a really cool episode.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: This is a community comment of the day.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: This comes from Brittany Cloud, who says, five years after you posting, this is an episode we did on how to handle difficult students.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: Uh she's saying, five years after you post after you posting, and I just wanted to let you know this video helped and was encouraging.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: Difficult time in youth ministry right now and learning to set some boundaries.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, Brittany, there will always be difficult kids, so that episode will be timeless.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, just maybe uh bookmark that one at the top of your internet browser and just kind of come back to it.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_01: They cycle through.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone always says, like, oh yeah, you've been doing youth ministry for so long.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like, how have junior hires changed over the years?
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, they haven't just some of the fashion changes.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like the slang that's cyclical.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_01: The slang is different, you know, what they're into, but who they are at their core, right, and the prototype of each kid, it's like you are this kid, you are, and they have different faces, but it's the same prototype.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_00: You're the troublemaker, you're the drama queen, you're the And when a class graduates, new ones rise up and take their place.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_01: They're just, yeah, there's always the prototype of each personality.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: So, yes, all that to say, Brittany.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'm glad you found that episode.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: You'll need it.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm glad it's been helpful.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Brittany.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: And thank you guys for watching and listening.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: And we'll see you next time.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: Are you starting to feel like you're too old to do youth ministry?
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_01: Today we're gonna talk about four ways that you can not.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_01: Today, we're gonna talk about four perspective shifts.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_01: Perspective shifts.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_01: Today we're gonna talk about four perspective shifts.