Latest / Real Money with Lisa Chastain / Love and Money
Transcript
- 0:05Welcome to real money with Lisa, Chastain over the next hour.
- 0:09You will hear from leading industry experts, how to
- 0:12establish Financial confidence and freedom.
- 0:15Her guests will motivate and inspire you to make those
- 0:18financial decisions that you have been thinking about for
- 0:21weeks and maybe even years. Now here's your host Lisa
- 0:25Chastain. Yay.
- 0:30Why are you guys dancing? We're dancing because it's the
- 0:34show song, Luke. I am your father, thank you for
- 0:39calling Moviefone. Okay, so this is hi everyone.
- 0:43Hi, happy Monday. This is my husband Jimmy.
- 0:47So he's been waiting to do that since he knew.
- 0:50I had a show. Yep.
- 0:51Yes. Did you get a lot of your system
- 0:55babe? No, stop that.
- 0:56Yeah, no, probably not. Probably not.
- 0:58I want to know. Okay, look at me.
- 1:00Okay, we have we're I love you babe.
- 1:05I love you too. Okay, good.
- 1:07Well for those of you who are new to the show, I'm so
- 1:09grateful, you're listening. I'm your host.
- 1:11Lisa Chastain. This is my show, real money and
- 1:14we have a special guest in the studio.
- 1:16James, Earl Lopez. I got put it all out there.
- 1:21This is weird. Like looking eye to eye talking
- 1:23like this. Yeah, but it microphones.
- 1:25Yeah, I can't. Look at you.
- 1:26I got to look over your shoulder.
- 1:28Look at me. It's weird that you don't look
- 1:29at me. No.
- 1:30Okay. All right.
- 1:32So tomorrow is Valentine's Day. Wait what?
- 1:35Yeah, I know tomorrow's Valentine's Day so I thought
- 1:38this would be the perfect time for us to come on and profess
- 1:41our love to one another. Did you prepare that?
- 1:44Oh, you know what? That's not ready for their.
- 1:50I can't open it on the show. They can't hear us.
- 1:52They can't see it. I'll open it after the shine.
- 1:55Let's dig in for our listeners because it's going to be boring
- 1:57for them to hear me. Open this All right.
- 2:00Okay, I'm going to talk and open it.
- 2:02I cannot so. So for those of you who are
- 2:04listening on the show right now I'm opening, they can probably
- 2:07hear that. Jimmy brought me a Valentine's
- 2:09Day gift. You're so sneaky.
- 2:11How did you get that in here, without me?
- 2:13Seeing it? That's the part being married to
- 2:15a lady that He forgot his water, watch everything on the shelves.
- 2:23Lets you buy stuff. So on, you can see this on
- 2:25YouTube, you can actually go back and revisit a bit or watch
- 2:28the show on YouTube will have it up soon.
- 2:30I love that babe and the skin that with her phone and it's our
- 2:33wedding song. Oh my gosh, you're so
- 2:35thoughtful. Yeah.
- 2:37Ah, Happy Valentine's Day. Okay.
- 2:40Ashley, you can take this out of the picture.
- 2:42I'm sure Ryan wants out poster. So we're going to talk about us,
- 2:46we're going to talk about us on the show, okay?
- 2:49You ready? He is ready.
- 2:51He is ready. Jimmy and I got married four
- 2:54years ago, it'll be four years ago on a month can you believe
- 2:58it's been four years already? No I can't eat wheat at the
- 3:00covid years in there too. So that's like a big one big
- 3:03realize. It's actually been a hell of a
- 3:05four years. It's been a really Rocky crazy
- 3:07for years. Not Rocky like from our personal
- 3:10but just how I think God's been testing us and there's a lot we
- 3:15have a lot of listeners that like in our community people who
- 3:18are fans of the show. Also just people who love us who
- 3:21are listening to the show. So in talking about money, which
- 3:25is a taboo topic and we get a lot of couples in my company who
- 3:30come and talk to us about money and a lot of them will say that,
- 3:33the only thing that they fight about is money that they, you
- 3:35know, feel like they have a good relationship but then Money
- 3:39comes into the picture and you and I don't really fight about
- 3:41money. No.
- 3:43Because you control the money and I don't have it if you don't
- 3:48already love Jimmy, I don't know.
- 3:53Yeah, so okay, so in true real money form, what I want the
- 3:57listeners to do is spend a little time, getting to know
- 3:59you. They've heard a lot from me,
- 4:02you're my better half and my my life, my world doesn't work
- 4:07without you. Yeah, so I want to talk a little
- 4:12bit about how you were brought up and your life with money and
- 4:16your relationship with money. We don't get a lot of your, our
- 4:20first guy on a show. Actually.
- 4:21Yeah. So it's usually women.
- 4:23Yeah. Sharing.
- 4:25And it's so powerful though. What I'm so excited for our
- 4:28people to hear that they're not alone and for men to hear that
- 4:30they're not alone sir and one of the reasons I adore you and that
- 4:35I married you is that you're open and you talk about things
- 4:38and You're vulnerable. So let's just let's take a walk
- 4:41back into Old Town Henderson. You were where you were born in
- 4:47Henderson, right? Yeah.
- 4:48Born and Henderson kind of race between Henderson of eggs back
- 4:50and forth. Yeah yep.
- 4:52Yeah and what was life like for you growing up?
- 4:57Was it like a metal middle class family?
- 5:00Yeah, we're pretty much middle class.
- 5:01My dad was a Teamster, so he was like a truck driver by trade.
- 5:04My mom always worked for General Electric.
- 5:07That I remember they can their parts counters here in town.
- 5:10My dad would be, you know, laid off sometimes and working
- 5:13sometimes. So I never really had like money
- 5:17cut like thinner talked about money and like for doing okay or
- 5:21whatever. I didn't know nothing about it.
- 5:22So did they ever fight about money?
- 5:24Did you ever hear them fighting about money?
- 5:25No, but my dad was Alcoholic and stuff.
- 5:29So when they fought but it was just, they fought to fight.
- 5:33Mmm, very fucking fight. I think more than anything.
- 5:36Did you enjoy ever know that? Like, you parents like did you
- 5:40ever think that like you couldn't do something because of
- 5:43money growing up? Was it ever?
- 5:45Because guys and girls are different the way that we
- 5:46internalize stuff and I'm just curious like what was your
- 5:49experience of money growing up? I mean we never really did like
- 5:55vacations America couple times but we went to Disneyland or
- 5:58something like that but we are vacations always going back to
- 6:00New Mexico and seeing the family are going to California.
- 6:02See my mom's family so there's never like we went on a trip
- 6:05that I remember. Other than once, I think we left
- 6:09New Mexico early just to do a road trip on the way home
- 6:11because I think something was happening with the family.
- 6:13They're like, my mom was just tired of all the bullies and the
- 6:17Antics or whatever. But I remember one time with
- 6:21Wendy, we're going to wet and wild here in town and went wild
- 6:23when it's cool. I found ya like my mom gave me
- 6:27this money to go for me my brother word and go to Wet and
- 6:31Wild or whatever for the day. So we suck at the 7-Eleven and I
- 6:34must have left all that money on the counter.
- 6:36And so we get the whet watch that.
- 6:38Okay, you got your mind on my own.
- 6:39Oh, I could find my money. And I mean she was mad or
- 6:43whatever, but then all of a sudden, they Kevin Kammer, if we
- 6:45went to a bank orders got more money out and she's pulled it
- 6:48out. And I don't know, looking back,
- 6:50like, that could have been like a lot of money to them, you
- 6:53know, I don't know, man. Just sucks.
- 6:55You know what I mean? Yeah, it is what it is.
- 6:58Yeah. Right.
- 6:58We learn these things, as we're kids, and you've been working
- 7:02since you can remember, like, I know you're a hard-working guy,
- 7:06you work? Work, work all the time.
- 7:08And I love working, and I and I know you do.
- 7:13How long have you been working? When did you start working?
- 7:17Crap. I was always working.
- 7:18I was helping my dad and said, he'd take me to work with them.
- 7:21Long as I can remember. I mean, like 13 make probably
- 7:26they actually get paid. The second.
- 7:27I get a job, like, legally, get a job.
- 7:29I wouldn't start working. What was your first job?
- 7:31Go-kart track tumble down really?
- 7:33Yeah, that's awesome. Competition Grand Prix.
- 7:37I didn't know there was a g Campbell daughter, Jimmy, and I
- 7:41grew up in different sides of the city.
- 7:42I grew up in North Las Vegas area and he grew up in
- 7:46Henderson, which at that time, were like, Worlds Apart, she
- 7:49still are in a lot of ways. So you started making your own
- 7:52money. Did you ever learn?
- 7:53Did anybody ever teach you? I mean your mom's pretty
- 7:56sensible. She's pretty good with money.
- 7:57Did she teach you how to manage money?
- 7:59No, I don't think so. No.
- 8:02Where did you learn to be good at it.
- 8:03So where did you learn? My mom helped me in what way
- 8:07like did she open a checking account for you?
- 8:09And that kind of stuff that we did that stuff, but she's always
- 8:12been the one that Kate might be time to refinance your house.
- 8:14Kind of thing. Interest rates are good.
- 8:16She's always done my taxes and stuff for me.
- 8:18I'm out. How do you know that stuff?
- 8:20So yeah. Yeah, she's always done it.
- 8:23One thing that we'll talk about how we met and all the things I
- 8:28guess, I'll come back to this. But one of the things that I
- 8:31noticed about you, when we started dating was that, you are
- 8:34very stable. So even though you say you're
- 8:36not good at money with money, you always provided.
- 8:39Yes. You've had your house for years,
- 8:41like our house now, but Really, we have this conversation last
- 8:48night. What we did?
- 8:50I give the garage but there's a bunch of junk in the garage
- 8:53murder of this conversation last night.
- 8:54No, I don't see how that works. The real Chastain leash.
- 9:00Ain't me suggest that. Yeah, so you didn't know a lot
- 9:03but you still are very stable, man.
- 9:06Yeah, what was your motivation to be stable?
- 9:09Become stable have your shit together.
- 9:12I've always make good money. So being in construction but the
- 9:16same company almost 28 years, I think I always big decent money.
- 9:24And so when I bought my first house, when I was 23, then I got
- 9:28the house on and now when I was like 27 26, hmm, just always
- 9:32worked hard or, you know, worked hard and had, you know, made
- 9:35good money, mmm. Yeah, can we talk about your
- 9:39career Journey? Because I love the company that
- 9:42you're with, they're like family.
- 9:44Yes. Really.
- 9:44And so many ways. Yes.
- 9:46And that was another thing that I was like, man, this guy is
- 9:49like donuts and Company for a long time.
- 9:51He's Like family. Like when we started dating, I
- 9:53was really paying attention to the people.
- 9:55You are hanging out with and our listeners.
- 9:57Know, I don't have a great background history story with
- 10:01like stableman. So I was really looking for that
- 10:03in like who I wanted to spend my life with, and you've gone.
- 10:07Be stable. You are you don't think you are
- 10:11just playing with you. Women know what I'm talking
- 10:15about? It's really nice.
- 10:16It's really refreshing kudos to you.
- 10:18Thank you seriously. Yeah.
- 10:21Where was I going with that? So you started working at the
- 10:23racetrack. Did you work through high
- 10:25school? Yes.
- 10:27Worked all through high school. I went to though of vocational
- 10:30school for culinary arts, And brighten High School.
- 10:35I started working at a place that was in town called the
- 10:37country in as a cook, which country.
- 10:40And did you work for one? That was a Henderson.
- 10:42That was awful, like mother sunset in Sunset or the tee off
- 10:44right there by Heffalumps. Yeah, there.
- 10:47And then, from there, I went to Sam's Town.
- 10:50And then I got a job at the Mirage as a cook.
- 10:56And then I was working at Mirage and Sam set the same time and
- 11:00Sam's Town found out that I was working at the garage.
- 11:02They call it a conflict of interest and of every remembers
- 11:05back in the day with samstat. Went Mirage, first came.
- 11:07It was like the crème de la crème, so there's really no from
- 11:10Sam's Town to Mirage, a big gap. Yeah.
- 11:13Hotel Industries. But they called it a conflict
- 11:15interest. I got fired, it's only job ever
- 11:17got fired from from Sam's Town. Yeah.
- 11:20Then. Went to the Mirage started
- 11:24cooking. Loved it did worked at a bunch
- 11:27of the rooms. Different restaurants killed it,
- 11:31nailed it and then my dad said to get me a job making
- 11:33construction when for 60 bucks an hour at the time, I'm going
- 11:37to 1677 an hour's. Make it 12 bucks an hour to
- 11:39cook. And so I threw my letter, you
- 11:43know, resigned and all that. And when I quit, the chef told
- 11:45me, he goes the executive chef at the time he goes, Jimmy, the
- 11:48one reason you don't have your own restaurants because I can't
- 11:50give the keys with alcohol because you're not 21.
- 11:52Yeah, so much 21 years old. So then I started my journey in
- 11:56construction. Did you start at Wells Cargo you
- 11:58requite? I'm 18.
- 12:00Yeah, I was 18 18 half think like 18 19, whatever that after
- 12:04Sherry she knows us to the office.
- 12:05I don't know. Start as a laborer at the
- 12:08company doing labor stuff, doing underground piping.
- 12:15Yeah, underground. Utilities grading literally be
- 12:18pretty much built. A lot of someone back in the day
- 12:21we'd start up a job and not a lot of people of Destruction on
- 12:24this radio. I don't think so.
- 12:25But so I go set up the the survey stakes and then all the
- 12:29big quipment come in. Then we do the update, all the
- 12:31ditches, put it on the piping in then we do the finished grade
- 12:34and I'm getting hot for the grades, the blades, telling them
- 12:37what to do, how deep the cuts stuff and then we pave it, then
- 12:41we come back and like up all the band holes and stuff like that
- 12:43and just move on the next. The next job connection and then
- 12:47I got the opportunity to get into the operating engineers.
- 12:50Local 12 that's here in Vegas, is for the heavy equipment.
- 12:53Operators for the same company running a Crusher that made type
- 12:57to Nets and took an aggregate for construction.
- 13:01Did that gun of the Russian side?
- 13:03And when it was slow, are about, I bounced between our weld shop,
- 13:06the company, and Crush in, and out in the job, and stuff like
- 13:09that. On the field ran dirt, spreads
- 13:12for a little bit. This is all like, foreign to me.
- 13:14Yeah, yeah. Right.
- 13:16I mean it's foreign probably a lot of people on here but yeah,
- 13:18I'd rather it spreads for a little bit when I got it and
- 13:22then I became a foreman over that Crusher.
- 13:23And I was youngest forming at the company.
- 13:25I was like, 21, 21 and a half, and then I was not only the
- 13:29oldest format, the content, the company, I was the youngest
- 13:32forming in the Union at that time.
- 13:33It says a lot about you. Yeah.
- 13:35I just like to work. We'd follow.
- 13:37Yeah. Get out of the way, right?
- 13:38And your silver? Yeah.
- 13:40Are you gonna get yourself hurt? Yeah.
- 13:41Jimmy or take heart? Take charge kind of guy?
- 13:43Yes, yeah. So you you've always worked fit
- 13:49like that was like even cooking, you're very Hands-On person.
- 13:53And some of you may not know this about Jimmy, but he's
- 13:55actually your welder to us and he makes beautiful stuff like
- 14:01there. We've got Furniture in our house
- 14:03that he's made and always working with his hands.
- 14:05And I love that about you like, yeah, my they are modeling.
- 14:11So you've been with those cargo for a long time and through all
- 14:14of that. IQ made.
- 14:15I mean, in construction in general in Vegas, you make
- 14:18really good money. You making over time.
- 14:20All of that but you didn't have range until your 30s.
- 14:25Yes. So what was your 20s?
- 14:27Like who? Do you really want it on the
- 14:30show? Know it was so hard on me, but I
- 14:33look back in my 20s. I had a blast, I mean, I was
- 14:37bouncing and clubs to on the weekends and a lot of that was
- 14:41taking care of my dad. My dad got sick, you know,
- 14:43paying off his medical bills and stuff and I was bouncing tell
- 14:45me, it was fun. I loved it.
- 14:46I mean it was a fun town back then.
- 14:50Yeah, a Vegas for those of you who are not in Vegas, we have a
- 14:52lot of listeners who are around the world.
- 14:55Vegas is very country. Country Roots, blue collar, Our
- 14:59country roots and when you say bouncing you are bouncing for
- 15:04clubs like you were doing security.
- 15:05Yes. Yes I was being a security at
- 15:07the nightclubs. So back in the day we had the
- 15:09beach was on the biggest heavy because it's now gone.
- 15:13Yeah and then yeah just work in the club scene for a little bit.
- 15:18Taking money from people, hot water.
- 15:21What does that mean? Oh, like it, the door.
- 15:22Oh yeah. Like a lot of times they come
- 15:25in, they have like a fake ID and depending on the club you worked
- 15:27at you that you take the ID or you keep the idea or give it
- 15:29back to him kind of thing. Yeah, so good.
- 15:32The club want us to take them we take it from putting my pocket
- 15:36say what you want to buy it back and again how much okay give me
- 15:3950 bucks. Mmm they give up the key.
- 15:41Figure, boxing back their ideas. I can I come in there like no,
- 15:43get out of here. Yeah.
- 15:47Got it. You got it.
- 15:48Know how to play the game, right?
- 15:50Yeah, that's fun. Okay, so twenties were pretty,
- 15:53why, what, how old were you when you met Breyer?
- 15:56I was seven years older than her, so she was 18.
- 15:59So what does that? I was 25. 45 times x.
- 16:02Okay, so Jimmy and I are both. We both met each other after we
- 16:07went through our divorces. So I was about a year out of my
- 16:09divorce. You were a couple of years out
- 16:11of your divorce I think or three years out of here talking choice
- 16:14or when we like that. When we met said like dates.
- 16:17Okay yeah. But we met in 2014.
- 16:21Yes. No 20 well 2014 technically I'm
- 16:25not Because you kicked up my best friend from my house for a
- 16:28date and I was still married at the time, the oh, yeah.
- 16:32Yeah, cash. These in the studio, listening
- 16:38to this. So a lot of you don't know this
- 16:39story, but so in 2014, Jimmy and I both went through a personal
- 16:45development program at different times, different classes.
- 16:48But in 2015, it was, it was Valentine's 2015, where you went
- 16:55through Ooh, relationships with Sylvia.
- 16:58Shout out to Sylvia. I love you.
- 17:00And I was going good. You still not like a whole
- 17:04nother story and that if you want to hear it, we'll share it
- 17:07later. Yeah, you're not gay.
- 17:10Yeah, definitely not. No, no.
- 17:13So we had gone through relationships class together.
- 17:15It's a weekend class about relationships and understanding
- 17:18while funding our understanding ourselves with love healing
- 17:21ourselves. All the things you have gone
- 17:23through your divorce with Breyer and I was on the verge.
- 17:25Age of divorce. I was really trying to figure
- 17:27things out, but I didn't go to the relationships class with my
- 17:30ex-husband and he didn't go with Briars.
- 17:31So we were there by ourselves I thought he was there.
- 17:35He wasn't. Okay, it was just me and we
- 17:38ended up in a group like, what? On Sunday.
- 17:41They put us in groups to do. Yes.
- 17:43So you want to tell the story sumeet?
- 17:45Yeah. Well, we're groups and the girls
- 17:47had to change into that. Was it sheets or something like
- 17:49that? Yeah, we weird.
- 17:51It's like a weird story but we were doing a skit.
- 17:54Yes, and I just remember, Lisa take it off for sure to juice
- 17:57that in their bra and I'm just like blah a little bit.
- 18:03Share these highlights an early rehearsal adorable, but I always
- 18:06got a crush on after that point. Yeah, and I didn't know that
- 18:10know, my first memory, I do remember you somewhat in that
- 18:13class but you weren't like you weren't A front-runner in the
- 18:16class, like, you know, if there were other people that were
- 18:18like, but, you know, taking the lead but I do remember you in
- 18:20that class in that small group experience.
- 18:22But my first real experience of you was at one of the nights
- 18:26where we all get together and we do we do some really cool things
- 18:30and you were like Chu and everybody out your like yelling
- 18:34at everybody in the room. I was like, wow, who's this guy?
- 18:39He seems really bossy. I always like to stay in the
- 18:43back like I don't never want to be the center of attention till
- 18:46it's time to be the center of attention.
- 18:47Yeah, it's like there's a ton. Just sit back and shut up.
- 18:50And let now you don't always have to be a chief, you know,
- 18:53you got to be an Indian but then there's times that you said,
- 18:55okay, this is stupid, people are stupid.
- 18:57So let's just man up, getting figure it out, get it
- 18:59straightened out and it's all right, let's go on the next
- 19:01thing. You control the chaos.
- 19:03So we hung out there a little bit and then I didn't really
- 19:06know your relationship status. I didn't know a whole lot about
- 19:09you. I didn't know anything about
- 19:10Breyer. I didn't know that you had
- 19:11arranged nothing and so fast forward to 2017. 2018, I'm going
- 19:17through my well, there was one little, there was a stand.
- 19:20I was a relationship coach and you came to my event, which is
- 19:24so funny. Right?
- 19:25That love frog. Kisses.
- 19:26Yeah, and here comes Jimmy, I was like, how sweet and I was.
- 19:30Yeah. Anyway, I was being supportive
- 19:31of your group. And I don't know if you were
- 19:35there. Ashley, she was asking if she's
- 19:37there. So, Jimmy was there.
- 19:38Remember if Ashley Moser and what come to find out?
- 19:41You were like There to support me.
- 19:44Yeah. Well I was trying to yeah, I
- 19:46kind of get a quote on quote support.
- 19:50Yeah. So the alternative alterior
- 19:55motive presents itself. But then when we reconnected
- 19:59actually Church. Yes.
- 20:01So in 2018 I started going to Central and you were at Central
- 20:05and for me that was like oh like hey how are you, it was Easter
- 20:09the Easter there with Conifer mukai Reserve Connor and What
- 20:14happened after that? Oh, I remember, I had to, I was
- 20:17in a situation where I had to move.
- 20:19Yes. So everyone's heard my story on
- 20:21the show and through the divorce, I had to move a couple
- 20:24of times. And I had this guy in my life
- 20:27who was like a rebound who destroyed my condo, and I had to
- 20:31move like overnight to get it out from under that situation
- 20:34and you were the, I was like, I remember this.
- 20:39So vividly. I was in my bedroom on the floor
- 20:42and I was like Like praying, because I was so stuck.
- 20:45I didn't know what I was going to do, and it was so clear to me
- 20:48in my head that it would said, I think it was God that said call
- 20:51Jimmy. Hmm.
- 20:53No. And then I did, I did I text you
- 20:57and you were like jumped in to help me and figure it out.
- 21:01And then I remember you kept checking on me like kept texting
- 21:04me and Mike one morning. You invited me to breakfast.
- 21:07Dramatic music. Wait a minute.
- 21:15And, and then it like, duh. So Amanda debogorski.
- 21:20And I, and you were friends, you know, you were friends with AJ
- 21:24and I'm friends with her and separately, I had called her and
- 21:28I said, hey, what do you think about Jimmy and you did the same
- 21:31thing? Maybe she was like, kind of like
- 21:34plant the seed. Oh yeah, I think she's drop
- 21:35that. I saw that.
- 21:36But yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, she was watching both of
- 21:38us. Loving enough kiddo.
- 21:40Love you. So yeah, here and here we are.
- 21:42So we started needing. Yeah.
- 21:44Forget about we did the Habitat for Humanity thing, we built the
- 21:47house. Remember John Todd story, early
- 21:50member the strange, Mary, you're there.
- 21:51And I'll show you like you and all the girls that kind of the
- 21:53he's the nail gun and stuff like that.
- 21:55So you're all freaking out kinda there's pictures on my phone
- 21:58somewhere. Yeah, but we signed the
- 22:00blueprints for and, you know, you signed your name right next
- 22:03to mine or I sign my name, right next year's not knowing of it.
- 22:06And Guy, the owner, the company, some because it's up to the
- 22:09placket are and our office. He sent me a picture of her, and
- 22:12I was our names next to each other, and that was in.
- 22:14Tina's years, down the road and back all along.
- 22:18What I've grown tremendously in my faith, since starting sits
- 22:22in, starting my journey, back at Central and getting baptized and
- 22:26everything. But really growing my faith with
- 22:30you and seeing all the ways that God was leading me to you.
- 22:33I like feel emotional thinking about it and I'm also grateful.
- 22:37Absolutely. Ya know, for whatever.
- 22:40As much as my divorce up and I can speak for myself.
- 22:43It was horrible. I hated that they didn't go
- 22:45through it, but I had to go through that pain to get to you.
- 22:49And so I know God put me through those those there's chaotic
- 22:53times but now it comes with the calmness of having you in my
- 22:55life, so it's well worth it. Yeah, yep.
- 22:59Yeah. I think, even though I'm a money
- 23:02coach, we work with people a lot on relationships.
- 23:05And what I'm really excited about for having you on the show
- 23:07is that other couples can hear other.
- 23:09Well, people can hear that like a journey to the right person is
- 23:13not linear. It doesn't, it's not like a
- 23:16straight line, like you meet them, right?
- 23:18Like oh no Halo and for whatever reason we had to be on our
- 23:23journey to get to each other. But also like I had to be, I had
- 23:29to be willing to like pay attention to the signs and like
- 23:32listen where I can be pretty stubborn.
- 23:36Anything you say that again, I can be pretty stubborn one more
- 23:40time, please. I can't eat this recording,
- 23:45right? It's recording okay.
- 23:47Courtney. Yes, I'm admitting on live radio
- 23:51that I can be stubborn. You are not stubborn baby?
- 23:53Yeah I am but I'm glad that I listened this time me too.
- 23:58And here's the thing. So here's my learning and then
- 24:00we're going to switch to money. We actually are almost to the
- 24:03second half of the show already. If you don't leave its Fallen
- 24:06by, what what I've learned is that what was I going to say
- 24:12about relationships? Uh-oh, remember how is
- 24:14interviewing you when we first started?
- 24:16Oh yeah. You'd ask questions after
- 24:17questions. After questions at the
- 24:18questions, I'll make cheeseless ladylike.
- 24:22Slow your roll pump. The brakes.
- 24:24Come on. Like you you like to talk.
- 24:30I don't like to talk. I talk when spoken to and you
- 24:33know, you guys all make fun of me that people always got to
- 24:35talk to me. They do.
- 24:36And I try to walk around like this resting bitch face is so he
- 24:39wouldn't talk to me, but it don't work and people just call
- 24:41up and say, oh hey, how are you like me?
- 24:44Going to go start checking out and the lady wants start.
- 24:46That's the checkered one start. Talk to me is like, I hate it.
- 24:49No, no, no, please don't talk to me, please.
- 24:51And then Yeah, I'm doing great. How was your day?
- 24:53Oh that in bubba bubba bubba bubba but but then again you
- 24:56meet some beautiful, people have beautiful conversation, you do
- 24:59it. I just like to live in my little
- 25:00bubble and that's it. Yeah I know but you do a good
- 25:05job of breaking out of your bubble to because I know I know
- 25:09you really do care. I do I do care about everybody.
- 25:12I know you do almost too much. Probably maybe that's why right
- 25:15fault. Yeah definitely a protector of
- 25:18people and I think people get that when they see you which is
- 25:21why they want to be around you is that you really are hard on
- 25:23the outside but soft on the inside.
- 25:25I grant a lot of deer in the mornings, I told him the other
- 25:32morning, I think I'm just gonna grind it you for a whole day and
- 25:34see the perfect conversation. Perfect pepper, but we do have
- 25:41really great conversations. So for anyone who's looking for
- 25:47the right human or for anybody who's in relationship?
- 25:49What I, what I what I've Earned from Jimmy.
- 25:52Is that it's never going to be perfect.
- 25:55We're not perfect. I don't.
- 25:58I'm I did not marry you to change you.
- 26:00I love you. And shows you exactly as you are
- 26:03for who you are and with your money, which we're going to roll
- 26:07into that in the next phase stage.
- 26:10What part the next part of the show that is do did is talking
- 26:16about how we work. Because we do work.
- 26:21No. You take care of the money.
- 26:22I work and you take. I work to go to work and then
- 26:30you take care of the money. Yeah yeah I don't know what's
- 26:33going on next thing. I know like a notaries at the
- 26:35house. Like it baby two, notaries here
- 26:37for a business, whatever she goes.
- 26:38Oh really call it re redid the house really refinance,
- 26:42refinance the house. Yo babe sign this.
- 26:44I'm like wait what? Well yeah we find it somehow
- 26:46suspect. Okay sign here that we
- 26:47refinanced it from like a An interest rate?
- 26:50No, I'm sorry, but I had no idea was going on.
- 26:52That's the point of this thing. There's a notary at the house.
- 26:54I'm just thinking Some for your business and then it's no, you
- 26:56gotta sign here. Here's the thing though in my
- 26:58first marriage that that level of trust was not there.
- 27:02So my ex has been didn't want to be involved in the finances but
- 27:06also would like make me wrong. Every time I make a decision, it
- 27:11was like a tug-of-war and for you you didn't have that trust
- 27:15that level of trust in your first marriage.
- 27:17Oh no you didn't like it. We have joint accounts.
- 27:20We I think we barely got joined a counselor because we were
- 27:23together. I think we remember how long we
- 27:26were married for but we were together like 12 years or
- 27:28something like that. But yeah, we never had joint
- 27:31accounts like the last couple of years of our marriage.
- 27:33Yeah, so there was a lot of control.
- 27:36Those all control for me, when did that shift?
- 27:39The controlling part or your nature?
- 27:42After going through those emotional tones glasses.
- 27:45Yeah. Get rid of all the control.
- 27:46I didn't need to control it. Yeah.
- 27:48And going back to church if I didn't go through.
- 27:51Well, I don't know if you have time.
- 27:53If I never went through this room have one.
- 27:55Innit. Yeah, till next time, where you
- 27:58could have time. Yeah, no, those go ahead.
- 28:00Well, if I never went through those emotions, tell just
- 28:02classes, I'd never been opened up to go to church.
- 28:04And if I were to watch Step foot into those motels classes, they
- 28:07were talking about God, I would have walked out.
- 28:08And left eye was a guy that used to walk around drive around flip
- 28:12off to give, give the church the bird.
- 28:14Yeah. So that's how closed off I was.
- 28:16And there's a lot of stuff behind the reason why that was,
- 28:20but you know, that's what, maybe realize the let go of everything
- 28:24because I'm not, And then after going to church and realizing
- 28:28that God is actually the one that control that there's
- 28:31nothing I can control. So just roll with the punches
- 28:34instead of anything instead of trying to stop the punches, just
- 28:37roll with the punches and of that because you can never stop
- 28:41them. I don't.
- 28:42Speaking of stopping that's a great time for us to take a
- 28:44break. Good job, Jimmy.
- 28:49Good job. Okay.
- 28:50We're going to take a two-minute break, Jimmy.
- 28:51Yeah, babe. All right.
- 28:53Yeah, that's weird. I'm sorry I saw Sorry.
- 28:55So sorry. We're going to take a two minute
- 28:57break and I'm so grateful that you're listening to us wherever
- 29:01you're listening to us. Part of real money is having
- 29:05real conversations that can be awkward or funny or in the
- 29:10moment with your husband singing.
- 29:12Weird. And we're just so grateful.
- 29:16You're here. I'm Lisa Chastain will be back
- 29:19in. Just a couple of minutes on Real
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- 29:34voice America, not enough, women are talking about money and I am
- 29:39on a mission to change that. The truth is so many women feel
- 29:43shame and guilt about the choices there.
- 29:45Making financially. And if this is you, I want you
- 29:48to hear today that you are not alone.
- 29:51We are so capable of feeling confident about the choices
- 29:54you're making with our money. The problem is that for so many
- 29:56women. Money isn't relatable industry.
- 29:59Experts are talking over your head.
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- 31:30If you have a question for Lisa or her, guess you can call into
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- 31:43Lisa at Lisa Chastain.com. Now, let's get back to the show.
- 31:49Here is Lisa Chastain. Lisa Chastain and Jimmy Lopez.
- 31:55My significant other has been love of my life.
- 31:59It's funny. When I, when it finally tickled
- 32:02my brain, that you were actually interested in me.
- 32:06I was like, there's no way. Like I didn't think in any way,
- 32:10shape, or form that I would be your type.
- 32:14At all alike. Go ahead.
- 32:16Well, I don't know that's maybe my confidence to I mean You're
- 32:21obviously hot in your tiny. It's our look like Shrek and
- 32:24everyone were pictures. So it just I don't know, being a
- 32:27guy that you see a guy with a hot chick and he kind of looks
- 32:30like me not trying to like body shaming or nothing like that.
- 32:33But like the guys, look at him. Give Mike the head, not like,
- 32:36good job, you know? I really I get that all the
- 32:37time. We walk around.
- 32:39Hey, how does that even happen? Like well the name money?
- 32:45As you're a good guy, okay, I was like a very good guy.
- 32:48My thank you, got one, I got one, I have a lot of people that
- 32:52will come up to me and be and tell me that like so.
- 32:55And so was crushing on you or someone wanted one, when you
- 32:58were single like all these women will come and tell me how like
- 33:00they had friends that wanted to be with you.
- 33:02And where were they when they come talk to me at the time?
- 33:04Well there because that you were waiting for me.
- 33:07Well, that's very true. Mmm.
- 33:09I was running through them. Yeah, tune in next time for
- 33:15Conversations of Jimmy's dating life.
- 33:18The LOL. Oh my gosh, Delilah.
- 33:21I do I do? She still around, is she really?
- 33:24Yeah. Okay.
- 33:26So let's talk money. Let's talk money.
- 33:29I don't have any American. Your financial coach.
- 33:33See you buddy. That's a good guys.
- 33:37When we got, when we got together, we weren't coming only
- 33:42money, but then we got married. Yes.
- 33:44And what was that? Like, for you to give me the
- 33:49reins? I remember you ask me you're
- 33:53late so I think we're by ourselves, even it was like
- 33:57thank you. You intended have this
- 33:58conversation a heart-to-heart almost you like.
- 34:01So what would you think if I took over our checking account
- 34:04that checking account, meet, Bill combined, whatever you call
- 34:07that goodbye their money. I'm like, I liked everything,
- 34:10okay? It's like me, you'd be like me.
- 34:12You trying to tell me how to like, build stuff?
- 34:14Yeah, it just, yeah, it's what you do for a living.
- 34:17Yeah, you're good at it. So.
- 34:19Okay. That's all That's a struggle for
- 34:22a lot of couples. Well, they shouldn't let it, I
- 34:25mean, I don't know. But growing up.
- 34:29Going through all the training I've done.
- 34:33Like, that is a big reason why my marriage failed the first
- 34:35time, the trying to control and everything like that.
- 34:37So, And trying to be right and doing just being, right?
- 34:42Like the analogy of every time you take an actual tree,
- 34:44eventually the tree is going to fall, you know what I mean?
- 34:46So every time you try to prove somebody wrong but me want to be
- 34:49right, you take it. You hit the truth of that as
- 34:51well. When the tree finally Falls
- 34:53over, I'm standing there. Like what happened?
- 34:54What the hell happened? Poor me, poor me, my wife, just
- 34:56left me, but look, really, I need to look at myself and
- 35:00that's what happened when I went through the classes and all
- 35:02that. That looked at myself and
- 35:03realize that nothing nothing in my life is worth being right
- 35:07about with you. And that's how I this in our the
- 35:09marriage. Now, where I learned from my
- 35:11mistakes on the first one is I'd rather be wrong all day long and
- 35:15as nothing to do with being, right?
- 35:17I could sit there and say things I know.
- 35:18I'm right out with you but what's that going to do?
- 35:21It's not worth being right? Yeah.
- 35:24Yeah I feel the same way. I let things go.
- 35:27We're both very strong. Yes personalities.
- 35:31Strong people and you did say you're hard-headed, I did and I
- 35:35said I was stubborn. Oh yes sir.
- 35:38Is that the same thing as hard-headed 60?
- 35:40Yeah probably. But then you know couples are
- 35:43trying to figure out the world of money and one of the things
- 35:46that we talked about in our world, what meeting with couples
- 35:49in particular is to say one, let one person Drive the Bus and
- 35:55know the system's set up systems be on the same page and we'll
- 35:58share what those are for us and then the other person supports
- 36:01the system that takes a lot of trust and that's really hard for
- 36:05a lot of couples but it's I think it's A theory, it works
- 36:09for us. It's raining again, I don't know
- 36:13what you're doing. I go to work, the check gets
- 36:15deposited, whatever, direct deposit.
- 36:18So I don't know what happens to it, and you always try to sit
- 36:20down and explain it to me in a spreadsheet and I don't do give
- 36:23a spreadsheet so I'm like okay we go on but it is trust and I
- 36:26trust you with everything. So why would I be worried about?
- 36:28Look, if you're going to Break break.
- 36:32The bank with me till I money. I think you would have done it
- 36:34already so it happens. Unfortunately, absolutely does.
- 36:37So, there there is blind trust. And then there's also just
- 36:41saying, okay this is this is probably going to be good for us
- 36:45and so we but we do have systems in place and one of those
- 36:48systems are different accounts. Was that hard for you to
- 36:52transition to having different accounts for different things?
- 36:56I mean, at first, I would say it was hard.
- 36:58Just getting used to it. I mean, you just, you know,
- 37:00dumb. I've always had one card to do
- 37:02this and you break it up. It works.
- 37:06It does work. So, we have an Eagle card
- 37:08because it's actually got an eagle on it.
- 37:09America, America, and that's our household checking account.
- 37:15Like, that's where we have our debit card.
- 37:17So, we put money in there every week, and that's for groceries,
- 37:21and gas and fausto's eating out when we want to do that.
- 37:25And then, You have your own card.
- 37:27My allowance is I call it a grown-ass man.
- 37:30Give it allowance. He does have an allowance so
- 37:33$200 a week. Yeah.
- 37:36And that works too. Oh, it's great.
- 37:42How do you really feel about it babe?
- 37:43I love it. No, come on.
- 37:46No it look maybe you know better than anybody I would buy dumb
- 37:50shit all the time. If I was able to get anything,
- 37:53I'd have guns, new guns and ammo at the house every day, so and
- 37:57tools and yeah, so I always Leslie.
- 38:00So when she is like it's funny that will get a check for Mike
- 38:04IRS Ursa IRS for like, Hey, you got a refund of like, $28 at
- 38:08least because here we go reform. I can I buy a gun?
- 38:11And she always tells me know when she said yes, coupled to
- 38:14three times. But yeah, I do I say yes but I
- 38:17know there's gonna be an end game and they're being at time
- 38:20when it's all we're debt-free and all that stuff than I can go
- 38:23by dumb stuff again. Mmm.
- 38:25Yeah they'll come. Yeah.
- 38:27We had a we had a big transition this year also.
- 38:30So what what I like about this systems?
- 38:33Oh, I have a question for you that I never Do this.
- 38:36Like do you stress about money ever?
- 38:40Now notice you got to figure it out.
- 38:43I hope I do. I mean like literally you if I
- 38:48came home and said, you said okay we're losing the house or
- 38:51something. There would be some questions.
- 38:52Okay, what happened? But I okay let's move forward.
- 38:55You know if you said hey I screwed up and I lost all the
- 38:57money on crypto or whatever. But okay.
- 39:00Yeah. Okay why?
- 39:01But let's focus. We have funded apartment or
- 39:03something but I don't think that's ever going to happen.
- 39:06Yeah, no, I have we have priorities.
- 39:08One of one of the things Is that we're working hard towards.
- 39:11So, just some tips for couples and if you have questions, I
- 39:14mean, Jimmy can answer questions.
- 39:16You can email me at Lisa. Lisa, at least hsn.com and I
- 39:20think this would be a valuable conversation to continue on the
- 39:22show of couples. Want to hear more about how we
- 39:25would recommend certain things work but works for us is the
- 39:27system. So we have different, you know,
- 39:29money for different spending and for Jimmy who's the supporter in
- 39:32the relationship for the finances?
- 39:35You know, when we have money and we don't have money.
- 39:38Yeah. And there's never, we never I
- 39:39have we don't have money. Yeah.
- 39:42Yeah. You know what I mean?
- 39:43Like, it's more like we're broke, but it's like, okay, well
- 39:45this is gonna we have. We're down to 20 bucks, no more
- 39:48stupid shit, no more Amazon! Yes, Jimmy!
- 39:53So we do the money types and you haven't ever, did you ever take
- 39:56the money type quiz? Oh, you've had me take a
- 39:58thousand to five. Nicholas New Year, whatever, but
- 40:04he's definitely a spendthrift. So what I tell my friend, like
- 40:08my clients is that with spendthrifts.
- 40:10You can't change them. So me trying to tell you that
- 40:13you can't. So yeah, I mean, I'll go spend
- 40:16it just to prove you wrong. That's right.
- 40:17Watch this. Yeah.
- 40:18And a lot of couples do that though.
- 40:20Yeah. No one tries to control the
- 40:22other and not spend money and So the new hate spending money.
- 40:27I don't I yeah, what? Yeah.
- 40:31What time should she have a Dell computers for Rick?
- 40:34We're always saying they think we were dating and it was a very
- 40:37short dating process for us was like three months having 82
- 40:40years in the marriage, she kept, I think pre covid.
- 40:42I just kept going through Dells at once, he won some bucks,
- 40:44Chromebooks were 250 dollar company.
- 40:46Yeah, kept going through them, kept on through it.
- 40:48Once he or she need a new one. I might want to buy Matt.
- 40:50Why don't you buy him a cover? And I'm not a computer that I've
- 40:52ever great things about Mac. They don't get viruses.
- 40:54Yada yada yada yada. She goes, okay, so buy me one
- 40:58moment. Okay, get on Amazon.
- 41:00Swipe, swipe.com. Here we go.
- 41:02And my house, this one that she was okay.
- 41:03And I poop by. Yeah, she looked at makes it
- 41:05was, like, 1,200 bucks or whatever wasn't like, okay, it's
- 41:08done. So, I had to, she wanted it.
- 41:11She'd want to spend it. So, I had a, but that's right,
- 41:13and it was done. That's right.
- 41:14And now she's got, you get a Mac.
- 41:16Uh, now I have one at home in the office, but you helped me
- 41:22break out of that scarcity. So I'm not a cheap chip.
- 41:27By like it when I'm in my Lane, I'm actually a delusional
- 41:30Delilah and definitely we both are over-generous.
- 41:32Like we're just very generous. So a lot of our money goes to
- 41:36church and other people and for you even more, even though you
- 41:40do spend on yourself, you spend a lot on the boys and other
- 41:43people. Yes, that's a part of.
- 41:45I think why we work too is that we both are committed to being
- 41:47generous, but I grew up very like, my parents were like, very
- 41:53mindful. Maybe you've heard them, even my
- 41:55mom makes comments. The time about like saving money
- 41:58and how he didn't have money growing up and so spending money
- 42:01was very scary. And then after my divorce for
- 42:03sure, like being in a relationship where I was beat up
- 42:07all the time, about not physically beat up and mentally
- 42:10beat up all the time, about the choices I was making and then
- 42:13with him being an alcoholic money was never like I couldn't
- 42:16keep money ever around. So the fear comes from like not
- 42:21having it and making sure I like want to make sure we always have
- 42:25it. And that I really do Oh, I do
- 42:28want you to trust me. And that's part of it, too.
- 42:31Like I always want to make sure that we have money.
- 42:33No. You know.
- 42:36So that's important to me. So that's why I get fearful or
- 42:38scared because I'm just always thinking about the bigger
- 42:41picture to yeah, the bigger picture I want you to retire.
- 42:45Good luck with that one. Well, I want you to have the
- 42:48option. Yes, it's some point to do that.
- 42:50So I really want to make sure that we're planning our money.
- 42:53So for couples, you know, listening to this and thinking
- 42:55about your own Journey with money.
- 42:57There's no wrong, or right way. And like I love the fact that
- 43:01Jimmy is more like spending because we just booked a trip to
- 43:04Alaska and I don't know that we would have done that.
- 43:06If it was just me at the control but you're like, babe, we're we
- 43:09gotta go. Yeah, gonna do this and it's
- 43:12scary for me like oh my gosh, it's a lot of money.
- 43:15How are we going to make it work?
- 43:16But your trust in me and then also just your more fluid I
- 43:21guess or trusting that. It's all going to work out.
- 43:23Fine. I know.
- 43:25Yeah. But we, I mean, we both make a
- 43:30good living for ourselves. We work hard for our money, we
- 43:32have to enjoy and and and wasting your time.
- 43:35When you say waste, and spending your money on moments instead of
- 43:38material things, I think is a big thing for everybody like
- 43:43We're even talked about this instead of her Christmas, it
- 43:45again, the boys presents and all that, you know, I don't call
- 43:48dumb stuff, but it literally is material stuff in the Bible who
- 43:51talks about, you know, don't don't want a camera to find that
- 43:55the diverse orders about think it's in Matthew, but invest in
- 43:59the things that were wrought and get eaten by Moss or something
- 44:01like that or rust, make it about the memories and about the
- 44:06material things. And so that that's going to
- 44:08Alaska, the memories will have the boys will have, you know
- 44:10what I mean? And we'll have so because
- 44:12eventually they're Old and get the hell out eventually sooner
- 44:15than later, but please Lord. But yeah, no, I did.
- 44:19Yeah, it's all about memories. It is.
- 44:22And this year, really like this last year, especially it's been
- 44:25a rough year. This is my, we went through a
- 44:27big transition where so, when we were dating and newly married,
- 44:32our boys, went to their other parents house.
- 44:35So, range would go for a week that we only caught again, and
- 44:39then Connor would go like every other weekend or whatever.
- 44:42So we Bad brakes, which was actually really nice.
- 44:45Thank you to get to know each other and fall in love and all
- 44:49of that. And then in the same year,
- 44:51within four months of each other, we hope we have the boys
- 44:54full-time Now. Yep, they're expensive and they
- 44:57stink and they stink gosh. They stink so bad people but we
- 45:05We've had a net. Thank you could chew the air in
- 45:11the room, so I swear it's so gaming, so gay me, I know, but
- 45:17that's been a big transition financially to.
- 45:19I've experienced that like the money goes a lot faster and it,
- 45:23I always wanted the boys full-time like to not have
- 45:27Connor full-time and I'm, you know, I know it for a long time.
- 45:30You did have yes let that's actually a good, a good thing to
- 45:34talk through what was Like being a single dad, I mean off and on
- 45:38will for a long time actually write it would be it would go
- 45:41months at a time that he wouldn't see his mom.
- 45:44At first, they can, he was little, he was probably three or
- 45:47four when we got separated or whatever.
- 45:49And there was a man wants, it was like three months until she
- 45:52seen range or something like that.
- 45:55But thank God for my mom, I mean really between my mom and her
- 46:01group, you know, my ex-in-laws ranges grandma, And if my
- 46:06neighbors have eons, you know what I mean?
- 46:07Like I would take range so I was working construction.
- 46:09You know, take range of my mom's at 4:00 in the morning, drop
- 46:11them off. She take him to school, then I
- 46:14get off in time, hopefully to pick him up for school, or she
- 46:16picked him up and I pick them up.
- 46:17Miss out, you know, my mom's house but I couldn't have done
- 46:19it without my mom. That's 100% truth.
- 46:21Like it was she was help me raise my son?
- 46:24Yeah, he's made comments before. Yeah, he's like a second mom.
- 46:28Yeah, yeah, I mean he's literally I pick them up and
- 46:30come home and you know we start dinner.
- 46:33They're going to hang out, watch cartoons or their watches.
- 46:34He didn't we go to bed rinse and repeat?
- 46:37Nope. Yeah financially you were
- 46:40always, you honored your commitment to like you always
- 46:43pay child support? Yes.
- 46:45So what was that, like, financially?
- 46:48Raising range is a single dad. Do you?
- 46:51Did you ever feel like there wasn't enough money?
- 46:53Or did you always just make it work?
- 46:55Just always made it work and weather is taking on credit
- 46:58card, debt and all that stuff and they just always made it
- 47:00work. You have to do as a parent.
- 47:02You can't, you don't have a choice too.
- 47:04For me, failure is not an option.
- 47:06You know what I mean? Like none of us are perfect but
- 47:07we can strive for Perfection so I can't fail.
- 47:12And if I do, there's something I need.
- 47:13I seriously need to learn. Yeah, not that.
- 47:15I don't fail, but I don't like to feel.
- 47:17Yeah, he's made it work. Yeah, you did.
- 47:21Yep. Been on that house 20 years now.
- 47:24Someday 20-something years. I do something years.
- 47:26Great neighborhood. Get Low.
- 47:27The neighbor you to. Shout out to our Paradise Hills
- 47:30friends. Whoa, what?
- 47:33Yeah. Yeah.
- 47:34So being a single parent for me was it was a credit card shuffle
- 47:38and what I like about this show too is that we're not trying to
- 47:42be perfect and say we got all of our shit.
- 47:44Like we still have credit card debt and even as a money coach,
- 47:47I think that's some people like, oh my gosh.
- 47:49What is she doing sharing that it's like?
- 47:51Well, that's the journey. Especially is parents like we
- 47:54want to give our kids the best life possible.
- 47:57We want to give him what we can, and sometimes that means we're
- 48:00just going to have to shuffle things.
- 48:02Yep. Or not.
- 48:04Not have certain things that we want so that are and have them
- 48:10have what it is that they want. But yeah, Freedom, guns and
- 48:13freedom and freedom. But then acid also, like, for me
- 48:16last year, what was what was hard was navigating the
- 48:20emotional piece of what our boys were going through.
- 48:24And I feel like that's where a lot of our money went to was
- 48:28making sure that they had what they needed and that they had
- 48:31what they wanted. And that they could they could
- 48:35feel like we were going to definitely take care of them no
- 48:38matter what you know I think. No, I mean, I don't think I know
- 48:43that they, they know that we're secure and not only like
- 48:48financially, but I think just, I mean, honestly, they, like
- 48:52people said about raise their said about convict, they're just
- 48:54happy, they're happy kids. And to see that expression of
- 48:58what range of condor of both been through.
- 49:00Like it's heartbreaking. What they've been through and to
- 49:02see that they're happy again, they're smiling and all that
- 49:05Biz, the world to me, and it It just tells me that we're doing a
- 49:08good job. Yeah.
- 49:10So even though I want to kill him but yeah yeah.
- 49:14What parent doesn't? Yeah it's true.
- 49:16Every now and then do that it would never happen just so you
- 49:19know that was on the radio it would never happen but what do
- 49:24you, okay? So we have probably less than 10
- 49:26minutes on the show left and you are very active at church and
- 49:32people seek you for guidance. I don't always get to see those
- 49:34moments and very rarely do but what are what are young men
- 49:39asking for support these? Like right now what are some
- 49:41words of wisdom that you can give for men who are navigating
- 49:45relationship and money today? It's almost before I would have
- 49:51thought about it. Sorry relationships of money.
- 49:54I think life is about relationships, no matter what
- 49:59kind of relation is true. Me and Lisa being in a
- 50:01relationship is being husband, and wife, or mean casually.
- 50:04Have we ever in a relationship as friends or people are at
- 50:08church friends at church, everybody.
- 50:10We're all in relationship, no matter what.
- 50:12And we all have a relationship with ourselves and our wives,
- 50:15and with God, and Some are going to go great.
- 50:20So I'm going to go hard and it's okay.
- 50:23It's okay to just say, hey, this relationship didn't work.
- 50:27It's okay to say, hey, I love you but I need to walk away from
- 50:30you. I've had to a fortune have
- 50:34beautiful friends in my life and I still have beautiful friends,
- 50:36my life. There's some friends that I had
- 50:38to just walk away from not that I love them less but it just
- 50:42wasn't going down the right path for me at the time.
- 50:45So, but I could call them today and they give me the shirt off
- 50:47their back and I do The same for them.
- 50:51Money-wise just it's not worth arguing about.
- 50:54It's not worth. I mean sometimes I see something
- 50:58that count and I start getting my head.
- 51:00Like what was that for what was that for?
- 51:01I'm like, shut up stupid. Like it's none of your business.
- 51:04Not theirs, so my business but she's got it.
- 51:06Why are you worried about quit? Trying to control it like it's
- 51:09going to happen like yeah, I don't know.
- 51:10Does that answer? I think that's helpful.
- 51:12Okay, I know we've had conversations about guys in
- 51:16construction in particular. Yes, it's great that you get
- 51:19paid weekly. Yes.
- 51:20And it's also not so great sometimes that you get paid
- 51:23weekly, but you've Always made it work financially, you've
- 51:27always been responsible and you know, sometimes gone into or
- 51:31whatever. But what are some some things
- 51:33that you might recommend or say to someone who's like
- 51:37financially going through it right now?
- 51:41Save as much as you can when you can.
- 51:43I mean, when it's good specially construction, you know, mean,
- 51:45like when it's booming, we're getting overtime Bank, your
- 51:47money, bake, your money, back your money and then because the
- 51:51times are, I mean during the recession out in 2008 and all
- 51:53that stuff, I almost lost my house and it was closed and we
- 51:56were working it working, maybe 20 hours a week sometimes weeks,
- 52:00there was crazy but we made it through it.
- 52:03Yeah, I mean just you'll make it through it, no matter what
- 52:05you're going through, you're gonna make it through it.
- 52:08The devil's always going to tell you that you can't do it, you
- 52:10can't do it. You can't make it through the
- 52:12storm. But you need to be able to
- 52:13Whisper back in the devils are said, no, I am the storm.
- 52:16So watch out because I'm going to come through this like a
- 52:18mother. Yeah, and I'll make it through
- 52:20it. We have to get through the storm
- 52:22to get to the, to the season of calm.
- 52:24So right? I love that.
- 52:27I love that about you. I love you, too.
- 52:31I think those are some great nuggets is that you can make it
- 52:34through and that no matter what you're going through
- 52:36financially, no matter what you're going through in your
- 52:38life, there's dark times. You and I have been through some
- 52:39dark times. Yes.
- 52:41And together, we've navigated it, and also for men, I just
- 52:46want you to hear that you're not alone.
- 52:47No. And I love that about you so
- 52:49much that people can come to you and confide in you, but you got
- 52:54to find somebody to talk to. Yes.
- 52:56And men as men, I'm a huge wedding.
- 52:59Guys just don't like to talk, but as men, we were taught that
- 53:02we don't cry. We don't show our emotions.
- 53:04We got to be tough. We got to do that as well.
- 53:06That's all bullshit. Throw.
- 53:07All that stuff out the door that doesn't matter.
- 53:10You got to have be able to talk and I was a product years ago of
- 53:14a guy that did talk to nobody. I was a fucking pressure cooker
- 53:17that was way to explode and then I explode on the wrong person
- 53:20because they cut me off or something like that so that
- 53:23don't work. Yeah, you have to be able to
- 53:25talk to somebody, whether it's talking to God, talking to your
- 53:27spouse, talking your friends. You got to have be able to talk
- 53:30to people. Yeah, yeah and money is one of
- 53:32those things that people don't want to talk about.
- 53:34It's really important because it's embarrassing, if you're
- 53:36broke and you make a hundred thousand dollars years, whatever
- 53:39you're broke. Oh it's not that you have money
- 53:41as you probably spend a nation. Yeah.
- 53:44Giants ammo and guns and American Freedom.
- 53:47Yes. When zombies come go and throw
- 53:50dollar bill out. Hey mister, do you got us?
- 53:52So does Connery says it often, I think Jimmy's got us in a zombie
- 53:55apocalypse will be fine. Anyway, well with two minutes to
- 53:59close, you've shared a lot of your heart, two days or anything
- 54:01else that you want the listeners to hear.
- 54:02No, you already may talk too much.
- 54:04Okay, I don't know. Thank you.
- 54:07Yeah, I'm grateful that you came.
- 54:12Everyone, my husband. Yes, yeah.
- 54:14So if you're listening to this, just, you know, day before
- 54:17Valentine's Day. Also our belief Jimmy and eyes
- 54:20belief. Is it it's just a day.
- 54:21Yep. It's just today and if you're
- 54:22going crazy thinking that you have to buy certain things or be
- 54:26a certain way financially for the person that you love at the
- 54:29end of the day. No, their love language.
- 54:32We talk about that know what matters to them and realize that
- 54:36the money is it's really not as important as the words.
- 54:41No. And who you're Being for each
- 54:42other and the memories we're working on that actively in our
- 54:46household. You don't need a day to
- 54:48celebrate your loved one. It does add a doesn't tell you
- 54:50what they what did Beth doesn't said it the best son on yellow.
- 54:54So she said, what was it? You don't need a special day to
- 54:57bring flowers and be flowers any day.
- 54:58That's right, something like that.
- 55:00But yeah. A little love note, Little
- 55:02Flower little thing that I got. That really wasn't for
- 55:04Valentine's Day. Just seen it and it really liked
- 55:06it. Yeah.
- 55:07But it just kind of fell on Valentine's Day so it kind of
- 55:09worked out perfect. Yeah.
- 55:10It's perfect. Thank you.
- 55:12If you want to see it, you can see it on the YouTube channel.
- 55:14Will have the show up soon. Thank you everyone for joining
- 55:17us. On this special 11, money
- 55:18edition of real money, thank you for spending time with me and my
- 55:24husband, Jimmy. What were you going to say,
- 55:25babe? So so all these things that he's
- 55:30been wanting to say for so long, he's gotten to let us know what
- 55:34you thought of the show shoutouts had on social media,
- 55:37Savvy, money with Lisa. You can send me an email with
- 55:39questions and we will be back next week with a new topic, new
- 55:43guest right here on real money. Thanks for joining us.
- 55:52Thank you for listening to real money with Lisa, Chastain on The
- 55:56Voice America, business Channel, miss the opportunity to call in,
- 56:00but have a question for Lisa regarding one of today's topics,
- 56:03you can send an email to Lisa at Lisa Chastain.com, we will see
- 56:08you next time. Thank you for listening to real
- 55:54money with Lisa, Chastain on The Voice America, business Channel,
- 55:58miss the opportunity to call in, but have a question for Lisa
- 56:01regarding one of today's topics, you can send an email to Lisa at
- 56:05Lisa Chastain.com, we will see you next time.