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Navigating Today's Youth Culture: Helping Children Understand God's Truths · 5–Minute Parenting: Tips to Help You Raise Competent, Godly Kids.

• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to another episode of Five Minute Parenting.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Today we have a special guest, Dr.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Mel Tavers.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: She brings both professional and personal experience to the table today.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: She's a mom to four, a stepmom to three, and a grandma to 11.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: She did her dissertation work on the topic of understanding today's youth culture, and that's going to be her topic today.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: And she is a life coach, a board-certified mental health coach, award-winning author, motivational speaker, and topic-specific workshop leader and trainer.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's a total of 30 plus years of industry and ministry experience.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: So be sure to check out the notes today for some links to her website and some helpful resources that she has given us.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome, Mel.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: I am excited to be here for just a few minutes today and talk with parents about a subject near and dear to my heart, and that is how do we as parents navigate today's youth culture?
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: Things sure have changed.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: And even you mentioned my dissertation work.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: I did that and completed it just weeks before the pandemic set in.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: And boy, things have changed so much since then.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: So I want to talk about, I'll just make three quick points.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: How, you know, how do we talk about age-appropriate, you know, um conversations with them?
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: How do we handle some of those sensitive topics?
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: How do we um relate scriptures to the to the kids when we're talking to them?
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: And and um, and then how do we guard what they're seeing and hearing?
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: All important topics.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: So let me get right into it.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we have a new grandbaby coming soon.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: That will be grandbaby number 11.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, so I have their siblings, the baby's grand, um, my grandson who's about to be born, his siblings um are six twin six-year-olds, and then a 10-year-old girl.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: Now, the six-year-olds are just like, how's the baby getting out?
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: Well, thankfully for us, the baby is, you know, coming via C-section.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: So for them, we just said, Oh, well, you know, the doctor's gonna do an operation, take the baby out.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: And that was enough information for them.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: That was good.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: For their sister, who's 10 and in the puberty zone, she kind of already knows the whole conception process, the birth process.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: She's old enough to know that because she's in a public school system where that is all discussed in fifth grade routinely.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: So she knows what's going on and it came from her parents.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: But to all of them, we just talk about, you know, this is a gift from God.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: And and whatever little bit of information they need is all we gave them.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: Now, a bigger topic that is prevalent from kindergarten all the way up through right now is the gender identity issue, um, and and everything that's going on.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll say, you know, being um indoctrinated into the kids from the time they set foot in the public school door and even on TV, on YouTube, everywhere.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: It's just part of our culture now.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: So, how do we talk to them?
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we don't have to understand everything, and they don't have to understand anything, everything, but I would say there is a few basic things that we can tell them.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: We can say to all of our kids, grandkids, nieces, and nephews, we can say, you know, God made humans male and female.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: We know that from, and here's the scripture references that go with it, Genesis 127 that says, God made them male and female.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: So we can say, God made us male and female.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: An individuals are either born a boy or a girl.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's the way it is.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: And we can say things like, well, some people are hurt, they're confused, they, you know, they they just are having a hard time in life and they don't really like the way God made them.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: They want to be somebody different.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and some people will say, Well, I want to be a boy or I want to be a girl, and they start dressing or talking or acting that way.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: But we can also say to them, hey, you know, nobody can change completely from one to another.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: If you're born a boy, you you're a boy.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: If you're a girl, you're a girl.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so we can talk about those kinds of things with them.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so having conversations are important, and it's important that we keep that dialogue going with them.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: We might say, like, you know, well, where did you, you know, where did you hear about that word?
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: Where did you talk about this topic, you know, and just listen to what they're saying.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: You could say things like, maybe, um, why do you think that God made both boys and girls?
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: What was the purpose of that?
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: And be ready for whatever answers they say, but it's an open dialogue.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like today in our society, there's so much information available to them, most of it misinformation, things we don't, they don't line up with our values of what we want our children to know and our grandchildren.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: But if we don't tell them and stay open to talking about things when they when they ask, and I had my my 10-year-old granddaughter asked me not too long back, like she asked, you know, can a boy turn into a girl?
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: And we had that conversation while we were playing Barbie dolls on her floor.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: So I was not prepared for that question, but you got to be ready.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: So I I matter-of-factly, I told her mom afterwards, but I'm like, she asked me, and I had to tell her, nope, there's no way to do that.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: And we had that conversation.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, bringing scriptures to bear when we are having those conversations, like I just said about Genesis 127 with respect to gender identity, that's an important part.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: But it isn't just about gender identity, and I don't want this conversation to just be about that.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: What about bullying?
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: Boy, there's so much bullying going on, not just um in the in the school systems, but online.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: There's so many kids online, and we're going to talk about that in a minute.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: But I have never seen the level of bullying that there is going on now.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: Now, the Bible doesn't exactly talk about bullying, but there are some biblical principles that we could share.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like we can say, you know, um Luke 6, 31 says we are to treat others as we want to be treated.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: And the truth of the matter is, is that we want our children and grandchildren to treat others that way.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: And then when they're not treated that way, we can softly say, we're so sorry.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: Some kids haven't learned this yet.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: Some kids need some help.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: How could you be a friend to them, even though it seems, you know, like you shouldn't have to?
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, injustice and all.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: And we can even bring up those scriptures.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: Or how about this one?
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: There is so much disrespect in our society.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: My husband's a school bus driver, and he has said this year has been the worst ever.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: Kids are absolutely disrespectful.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I am sure they are not learning that at home.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: They are learning it um, you know, online mostly.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: So we have to talk to them about their need to respect authority.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: My friends that are school teachers in the classrooms are like, never has it been this bad.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: There is literally no respect.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: So we have to talk to our kids about that and the fact that God has put those people in authority over us.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: Romans 13 talks about that.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: We can bring those scriptures up and say, you know, that authority figure has been established by God, whether it's a parent or a grandparent, or it's a police officer, or it's a teacher.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: They've been established by God as the authority in that child's life, and we are to respect them.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: And so just teaching those principles again, um, and giving them the scripture, because kids are curious.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: They want to know, well, why should I do that?
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you're raising them for the Lord, and so we have to give them the scripture to back it up.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: The last thing I want to talk about is the online.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: I've referenced it a couple of times.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: Never, never, never has there been such an onslaught against our children and our values that we're trying to teach them than there is now.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: So I would say this.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we have to really stop and think about the fact that there are shows and videos that our kids are watching that have, you know, maybe let's say a kid is eight years old.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: If they're eight years old, we used to be able to say, okay, well, that show is for children that are eight years old.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm telling you, sadly, you've got to watch and see like which shows are are indoctrinating other things when we are in the kitchen cooking dinner, thinking that a show for an eight-year-old is just that.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: Nope, that ship sailed, and that is not true anymore.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: So my recommendation, and I've I've suggested um the resource in the show notes, is to connect yourself with the Protect Young Eyes website if you have not done that.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: The reason I love that website is I signed up for the newsletter.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: So I get in my email every week a recap of what is going on.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: They are watchdogs.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: This organization are phenomenal, and they are watchdogging everything going on.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so that helps you as a parent.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: They also created an app and other resources for you that you can um watch what your children are doing.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: And so I want to say this in closing that there are several, I read a blog recently, there are several um places that we might not think about that are actually the locations that our kids are watching things online that we would never, never allow in our own home.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_01: One, the grandparents' house, not my house, not this grandparent, but a lot of grandparents are not on the cutting edge.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: They don't stay on top of things the way I like to.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: So grandparents' homes, second, school buses.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: Even if your kid does not have a phone, other people do, and they're what they're watching and hearing on school buses, watch it.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: Their bedroom and bathroom, if you have um, if they have a phone or some access to online, what they're doing in their bedrooms and what they do when they're supposedly showering is going to shock you.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then certainly, and I had this experience with one of my older grandchildren recently, sleepovers.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_01: Our values do not match everyone's values, even other believers.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: So make sure that if your child is having a going to a sleepover or having a sleepover in your house, that you know the values of the other people involved and that you make the boundaries very clear.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, each person is going to have to decide for themselves.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: But all that to say, this youth culture is very challenging, very difficult.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: It is not for the faint-hearted, but I am encouraging you that there's ways for you to absolutely safeguard them and to talk with them and to make sure that they remain um informed about God's ways and what the scriptures say, and you safeguard them while they are online because that's the world we live in now.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: There's no turning that back.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I hope that that has been um a help for you today.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: You can go to my website, drmeltavaris.com.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: It'll be in the show notes, and um I'll provide some extra resources.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: They're on my website, they're in the show notes.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I hope that you have a wonderful day, and I will certainly be praying for you as you are doing all due diligence raising your children.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Mel.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: That topic that you've spoken on today is just so critical and just so challenging right now.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I love the way that you actually give parents some ways uh to uh address these issues and you provide scriptures to back it up.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: So this is so valuable to parents of of any age child.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um so thank you again for being with us.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: Uh my pleasure.