Latest / Deeply Well with Devi Brown / Soul Bonds Part 2 with Yvonne Orji
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Mm from grandmothers who whispered in their baby girl in
- 0:13Speaker 1: two fathers on dimly lit street corners, instructing young soldiers
- 0:16Speaker 1: to always keep their eyes open. You be queen, you
- 0:21Speaker 1: were fired. You will pass through centuries on the hands
- 0:24Speaker 1: of your daughters. They called you wisdom. Proverbs on the
- 0:28Speaker 1: backs of diamond eyed school children who growing into hymnals
- 0:32Speaker 1: recited by amethyst holding urban philosophers who recited neighborhood commandments
- 0:37Speaker 1: out of the windows of restored Alchemedo cheriots. To keep
- 0:40Speaker 1: the warmth of their blood. Be wise, be smart, being black,
- 0:46Speaker 1: opal brown courts, bloodstone, and prayer. Be every form of
- 0:50Speaker 1: jim se King told, scribe, scribe, told son, son, told wife,
- 0:57Speaker 1: wife told her daughter, and daughter told the ass is.
- 1:00Speaker 1: And the ancestors told me that you would come to
- 1:04Speaker 1: give wisdom. Thousands. They said you would come, dropping chain,
- 1:09Speaker 1: dropping the chain. Okay, welcome to part two of this
- 1:15Speaker 1: amazing conversation with my dear friend, Emmy nominated actress author
- 1:22Speaker 1: Yvonne Orgy. Bamboozled by Jesus is in stores now, and
- 1:27Speaker 1: you and I have been having a really expansive, decadent
- 1:31Speaker 1: conversation about loving ourselves and friendships, both the friendships that
- 1:38Speaker 1: really nourish us ways to be your full self and
- 1:41Speaker 1: friendship and also the friendships that sometimes we just have
- 1:45Speaker 1: to let kind of gracefully shed UM. And so we
- 1:49Speaker 1: were we kind of left off in our last episode together, Cliffhanger.
- 1:53Speaker 1: We were exploring you know, um, I guess really what that?
- 1:58Speaker 1: What that how we shift into more grace for ourselves
- 2:02Speaker 1: and how we shift into being able to be in
- 2:06Speaker 1: choice around our friendships. Yeah, I think for me, what's
- 2:10Speaker 1: you know? I have a friend that that always asks
- 2:12Speaker 1: what's coming up for you? I was like, don't you
- 2:14Speaker 1: theropose me? And I think what's coming up for me?
- 2:17Speaker 1: Is this is this um? In the same way that
- 2:22Speaker 1: you recognize, like everyone in every season might not be
- 2:27Speaker 1: the right uh person for you, the same could be
- 2:32Speaker 1: on the flip side, you know, giving that opportunity to
- 2:35Speaker 1: say you may not be for them, and and that
- 2:41Speaker 1: our ego went to be like, well that, I mean
- 2:43Speaker 1: I don't walk around being a trash human being, So like,
- 2:46Speaker 1: how was that possible? But to what you said in
- 2:50Speaker 1: the first episode, you don't know what they're going like,
- 2:54Speaker 1: what what it may not be about you? Because for me,
- 2:58Speaker 1: I was very it's based right growing up, because you know,
- 3:02Speaker 1: I grew up where if things are performative, it's like
- 3:05Speaker 1: black or white, it's like a square plus B square
- 3:07Speaker 1: equal cit squared. And so it's like the evidence. It's like, well,
- 3:11Speaker 1: this is why we are withholding you know, whatever from you,
- 3:14Speaker 1: because this is evidence a you didn't do this. And
- 3:18Speaker 1: so I was always I was subconscious to you or
- 3:22Speaker 1: consciously trained to look for the evidence. There has to
- 3:25Speaker 1: be a y. You know, we can't be friends because
- 3:29Speaker 1: you did this thing to me. I have evidence proof,
- 3:33Speaker 1: And now I'm in a place where it's like we
- 3:37Speaker 1: can't be friends because something doesn't feel right. And I
- 3:41Speaker 1: actually don't want a way for evidence because I think
- 3:43Speaker 1: by the time I was for evidence, it was too late.
- 3:46Speaker 1: Like now you know it's now I was gonna be
- 3:49Speaker 1: a problem. But my I think I think in the
- 3:54Speaker 1: past I have entrusted my intuition and my spirit right
- 3:57Speaker 1: because it's just like no, I know not not no, no,
- 4:03Speaker 1: I don't think. So, you know, like other people would
- 4:06Speaker 1: be like I think this person and I was like, nah,
- 4:08Speaker 1: you just don't know that they're great because I saw
- 4:11Speaker 1: through eyes of grace. I saw through oh, that's just
- 4:15Speaker 1: down for that's what like, isn't that what what makes
- 4:18Speaker 1: people them? And time? And it's just like now I'm like, okay,
- 4:26Speaker 1: the evidence is not tangible evidence, it's spiritual and m
- 4:34Speaker 1: you and I don't have to think about how to
- 4:36Speaker 1: show up for each other because spiritually we're in you know,
- 4:42Speaker 1: in aloightnment. It's like I love it's easy, you know,
- 4:47Speaker 1: and we have a groove in in like you know,
- 4:49Speaker 1: there was one time that I was like sending you
- 4:51Speaker 1: a lot of stuff and you you do you so graciously.
- 4:55Speaker 1: We're like, I love you so much, however, I do
- 5:00Speaker 1: not desire this this kind of information. So stop and
- 5:06Speaker 1: I was like, oh my gosh. And in my mind
- 5:08Speaker 1: I was like did I just offend her that I
- 5:10Speaker 1: didn't know? And I was just like I'm so sorry,
- 5:14Speaker 1: and you were like not to big deal. In this moment.
- 5:17Speaker 1: I had to honor what was coming up for me
- 5:18Speaker 1: and I'm telling you stop and we didn't continue. You
- 5:23Speaker 1: want to eat later like it was and it was
- 5:25Speaker 1: just that like, oh, so this is possible, and it wasn't.
- 5:29Speaker 1: We had an agree disagreement. It was just like I
- 5:33Speaker 1: don't I don't desire this thing. That you are finding
- 5:36Speaker 1: out and like wanting to share and I appreciate your journey.
- 5:40Speaker 1: I've already journey through that, so stop and because it's
- 5:44Speaker 1: not in this moment, it's not good for me. And
- 5:47Speaker 1: it was like, oh, as your friend, I can honor
- 5:51Speaker 1: what you're saying and to not take it personal. And
- 5:54Speaker 1: three believe that when you say we're good, you mean it.
- 6:01Speaker 1: I've encountered what I don't like, what I is just.
- 6:05Speaker 1: What I don't like is if you say we're good,
- 6:10Speaker 1: but I noticed a ship. Come on, don't do that
- 6:15Speaker 1: because for me, I'm I'm Nigerian in this way and
- 6:20Speaker 1: that I'm like, I don't like difficult conversations, but when
- 6:24Speaker 1: I have to have them, Mam, have because I don't.
- 6:26Speaker 1: I don't also don't know how not to be. I
- 6:28Speaker 1: don't know how to move authentically knowing that like there's
- 6:31Speaker 1: something in the back of my mind like I need
- 6:33Speaker 1: to get off my chest, like it's just I can't.
- 6:35Speaker 1: I'm not able because I'm gonna be a version of
- 6:38Speaker 1: myself that's not the full the fullness of me. And
- 6:40Speaker 1: I know and I hate inauthenticity and fakeness. I can
- 6:43Speaker 1: just take me out of it. And like we don't
- 6:45Speaker 1: do this. It's so exhausting. It is. And I think,
- 6:49Speaker 1: you know, when I give people the ability to be
- 6:55Speaker 1: like what's up? Like she straight with me? Like that's
- 6:58Speaker 1: me mean like giving you the permission to be one
- 7:03Speaker 1: thousand with me. I mean this is happening like in
- 7:07Speaker 1: past friendships people that were like employees and whatever, and
- 7:11Speaker 1: I'm just like, yo, keep it a buck and they
- 7:17Speaker 1: say they are yeah, and then I'm like I believe
- 7:20Speaker 1: you because for me, I'm like with my friends, I
- 7:23Speaker 1: don't want to be discerning. I don't want to be
- 7:25Speaker 1: that's that's not that's not what I have to be discerning,
- 7:28Speaker 1: But I don't want to have to like be a
- 7:30Speaker 1: genie to discern is this real? Is this vague? And
- 7:33Speaker 1: I want to just build the mental gymnastics. I would
- 7:36Speaker 1: like to just be yes. I just I want to
- 7:38Speaker 1: I want to be in an honest space again where
- 7:40Speaker 1: I can take off the cloak because in Hollywood, in
- 7:44Speaker 1: my actual life, I gotta be dumb discerning. I gonna
- 7:47Speaker 1: be like, Okay, does this person want me for me?
- 7:49Speaker 1: This person want when I offered? Is this person just
- 7:53Speaker 1: wants to deal? Like I gotta I gotta be double
- 7:55Speaker 1: dutching off different relationships make it easy for me. Fam
- 7:59Speaker 1: Like if I come to you and I'm like, oh,
- 8:00Speaker 1: this is the real, I want you to also be like,
- 8:03Speaker 1: this is the real and then we can figure out, Okay,
- 8:05Speaker 1: what where do we go from here? Is it good?
- 8:07Speaker 1: Is it bad? Is it in different? And so I'm
- 8:12Speaker 1: the kind of person where I'm like, I believe that
- 8:16Speaker 1: when I give the opportunity for transparency, it's reciprocated, and
- 8:22Speaker 1: I just have problems when I feel like it's not.
- 8:27Speaker 1: And I'm like, h but I did that. I did
- 8:31Speaker 1: the thing of like giving you space to occupy that.
- 8:34Speaker 1: So now I'm like, so this so here, this is
- 8:37Speaker 1: the this is the yummy piece to add to that beautiful,
- 8:41Speaker 1: beautiful um meal on the table. It's you know, we
- 8:49Speaker 1: also when we're in our transparency, I think we have
- 8:53Speaker 1: to also fully released the expectation because the transparency is
- 8:58Speaker 1: for us at the end of the day. Because I
- 9:00Speaker 1: do think, you know, and I want to preface this
- 9:04Speaker 1: by saying, sometimes people are narcissists and they have various
- 9:08Speaker 1: personality disorders and various traumas that they're maneuvering through um
- 9:13Speaker 1: and so there are some people that are actively trying
- 9:16Speaker 1: to manipulate us when we're transparent. Um, but then there's
- 9:20Speaker 1: this whole other group of people. And I think there's
- 9:23Speaker 1: a quote I love that illustrates I think this so well.
- 9:26Speaker 1: It's you know, people can only meet you as deeply
- 9:30Speaker 1: as they have met themselves. See okay, guys, first episode.
- 9:35Speaker 1: You know, I'd be like that, people can only meet
- 9:39Speaker 1: you as deeply as they have met themselves. So just
- 9:42Speaker 1: because we're in a space of being able to be
- 9:45Speaker 1: in our glorious as transparency, it may depending on that
- 9:50Speaker 1: person's background, like you know, how we explore our family
- 9:52Speaker 1: structures depending on what was their quote unquote real because
- 9:57Speaker 1: real is relative depending on what was real for them.
- 10:02Speaker 1: They might think they're showing up in authenticity, but there's
- 10:05Speaker 1: so much wounding and so little self awareness or self
- 10:10Speaker 1: mastery that it still is coming out really in a
- 10:15Speaker 1: way that is not maybe as heart letter dignified as
- 10:22Speaker 1: we are giving it or would like to receive it. Yeah,
- 10:26Speaker 1: and I fully understand that because I you know, therapy,
- 10:30Speaker 1: because and said the same thing. It's like you're, like
- 10:33Speaker 1: you said, your transparency is for you, and it patch
- 10:37Speaker 1: yourself on the back to know like I'm doing the work.
- 10:39Speaker 1: I'm doing the work, and I'm able to shed you know,
- 10:43Speaker 1: because I'm kind of I attack like therapy and self
- 10:46Speaker 1: working in the same way. I'm like, I gotta guess
- 10:48Speaker 1: three days. You know. It's like which mother was like,
- 10:51Speaker 1: that's not how this working. I'm like, you speak to
- 10:53Speaker 1: yourself that um, but it isn't like if I only
- 10:56Speaker 1: get one shot at this I want. I'm not here
- 11:00Speaker 1: to pity pad because I also know those people who
- 11:03Speaker 1: are life first, like I'm gonna be in therapy for
- 11:05Speaker 1: twenty years, and it's just like that's not the goal.
- 11:08Speaker 1: The goals to be at the tools and working process, yeah,
- 11:13Speaker 1: and like and like not use the therapies as a
- 11:15Speaker 1: crutch and like, oh I got something else for you
- 11:17Speaker 1: this week. Oh what about the stuff we were working
- 11:19Speaker 1: on the last four weeks? Like where are we in
- 11:21Speaker 1: our progress and order that? You know what I mean
- 11:22Speaker 1: because that was literally my you know, people talk about
- 11:26Speaker 1: the things the barriers to people getting help. I had
- 11:29Speaker 1: somebody who I was like, Yo, if this is what
- 11:31Speaker 1: therapy is, like, I don't want none of it because
- 11:33Speaker 1: this chip in a therapy Oh my life, oh my life,
- 11:36Speaker 1: grinding all my life. Oh her life ship been in
- 11:38Speaker 1: therapy and I'm looking at her like, so you just
- 11:42Speaker 1: don't want revelation, Like is that like you just want
- 11:44Speaker 1: so this is entertainment for you. This is like you're
- 11:46Speaker 1: going to the movies. You don't want to apply none
- 11:48Speaker 1: of them. And we quit, like my therapist says, and
- 11:51Speaker 1: I'm like, well what what what do you say? But
- 11:53Speaker 1: what do you say? Damn? And I just was like
- 11:57Speaker 1: I was had such a visceral reaction that therapy because
- 12:00Speaker 1: I was like, Yo, this is this is a waste
- 12:02Speaker 1: of time. Because I also was like mad at the
- 12:04Speaker 1: therapist because like when is she gonna hold her accountable
- 12:07Speaker 1: to the change? Like you just you just happy collecting
- 12:10Speaker 1: these money, this, this check every week on too. You
- 12:13Speaker 1: don't you say you got a whole monster on your couch.
- 12:17Speaker 1: Then there's that. So I mean so I think to
- 12:19Speaker 1: your point, it's just like for me, I'm like, yo,
- 12:23Speaker 1: you can't give me new information and me act like
- 12:26Speaker 1: I mean I'm a bucket it like oh I don't know,
- 12:30Speaker 1: and then at some point the Holy Spirit gonna beat
- 12:34Speaker 1: me up like are you ready to deal with it
- 12:36Speaker 1: or you need a minute, and like you're right you're right,
- 12:41Speaker 1: You're right. Okay, cool, Like so here's here's really what
- 12:45Speaker 1: I'm really upset. If I'm really being honest with myself,
- 12:48Speaker 1: like this is what it is. And it's just like okay, cool,
- 12:53Speaker 1: we have more information now, great, you want to go
- 12:56Speaker 1: deeper with it, and I do because I'm like, I
- 12:58Speaker 1: only got me one time, man, I only got me
- 13:02Speaker 1: one time in this one life. It got to be
- 13:06Speaker 1: the best version of it. But you know, the hurt
- 13:09Speaker 1: even in the transparency and understanding that, like yo, some
- 13:12Speaker 1: people aren't ready for that level of transparency. Some people
- 13:15Speaker 1: are still healing it. There is that hurt of but
- 13:20Speaker 1: I might have to keep I'm gonna have to move on. Yeah,
- 13:23Speaker 1: I'm gonna have I'm gonna have to move on because
- 13:25Speaker 1: it's like I'm gonna allow you your process, but in
- 13:29Speaker 1: your process, like I also have to protect me. Yeah, yeah,
- 13:33Speaker 1: you have to make the most serving choice for you.
- 13:37Speaker 1: And that's and I think that's what hurts because and
- 13:39Speaker 1: I think to like you said, with your with your
- 13:42Speaker 1: relationship that you had to gracefully buy out of. It's
- 13:45Speaker 1: one thing if it was like this, this moment is
- 13:48Speaker 1: the thing, the catalyst, But then when you go deeper.
- 13:50Speaker 1: You're just like, yo, I'm recognizing, like you, you didn't
- 13:56Speaker 1: show you showed up in other ways that I'm now
- 14:00Speaker 1: remembering that, like the pattern, but I didn't know. I
- 14:04Speaker 1: didn't know to to something my spirit knew because it
- 14:09Speaker 1: was like but then the either the people pleasing or
- 14:13Speaker 1: the the go on to get along or the de
- 14:17Speaker 1: nihilate like but no, not them brushed it down and
- 14:21Speaker 1: I made it again about like like it was now
- 14:24Speaker 1: the onus was on me to keep the peace. The
- 14:26Speaker 1: onus was on me to be like this maybe maybe
- 14:30Speaker 1: wounds from your baths, Like I made it as opposed
- 14:32Speaker 1: to be like, hey, this came up from me and
- 14:34Speaker 1: didn't let's check it and it's it's you as it's me.
- 14:37Speaker 1: I just was like, it's not them, it's popping me.
- 14:41Speaker 1: And now I'm like, well, I'm not doing that anymore.
- 14:44Speaker 1: Whether it's you or me, I'm gonna make the choice
- 14:47Speaker 1: of what feels best right now, yeah, and or whether
- 14:49Speaker 1: it's you or me, I'm gonna be well rounded and
- 14:53Speaker 1: not even downplaying ego because if it is me, I'm
- 14:55Speaker 1: gonna check myself and be like, okay, so this was you.
- 14:57Speaker 1: But then if it's not just like, oh ah, I
- 15:02Speaker 1: see how you're moving. Okay, cool, And that's hard. It's hard.
- 15:07Speaker 1: But then the beauty of the juxtaposition is when you
- 15:11Speaker 1: find the people that you're like, I know that this
- 15:14Speaker 1: isn't me because I don't have to have these conversations
- 15:17Speaker 1: with these people, you know what I mean? And again,
- 15:20Speaker 1: it's not to just like find the people that, um,
- 15:24Speaker 1: what's the one that cater to the lowest part of you.
- 15:29Speaker 1: So there's also that it's not like these people don't
- 15:32Speaker 1: they're fine with it. And it's like, so, so you're
- 15:35Speaker 1: okay with someone being okay with the with the not
- 15:38Speaker 1: great part of you. And that's not to say that
- 15:40Speaker 1: we don't have grace, but it's just like, but are
- 15:42Speaker 1: they are they challenging you to become a better version
- 15:45Speaker 1: of you? Because people luxuriate with the people who allow
- 15:49Speaker 1: them to skate by as not their best selves. That's
- 15:53Speaker 1: different than someone giving you grace to grow. Yeah, you know,
- 15:57Speaker 1: I think I think everything that you're saying now out
- 16:01Speaker 1: one is like you're just beautifully working your process, Like
- 16:06Speaker 1: this is what we all, this is the gift we
- 16:09Speaker 1: can give ourselves in every moment. Is just I'm just
- 16:14Speaker 1: willing to observe. I'm just willing to observe myself. I'm
- 16:17Speaker 1: willing to observe this scenario and how it's unfolding. Um,
- 16:23Speaker 1: And I'm willing to honor myself by making a choice
- 16:26Speaker 1: based on my preference, my needs, my desires and being
- 16:32Speaker 1: okay okay, because for me in the past, I wasn't.
- 16:35Speaker 1: I wasn't okay with it because it was like, no,
- 16:40Speaker 1: is there we to save it? Or what can I do?
- 16:43Speaker 1: And it's just about you about you. Now I'm in
- 16:46Speaker 1: the space of like, this is life of divine trust
- 16:52Speaker 1: and you know God protects you like that is one
- 16:54Speaker 1: thing that I know. You don't have any shadow of
- 16:57Speaker 1: a doubt about God. God to tax you. And you
- 17:02Speaker 1: know what it is that I'm still finding out. Remember
- 17:04Speaker 1: when I said I would trick things off. What I'm
- 17:06Speaker 1: finding out about myself now, the things that I'm like
- 17:11Speaker 1: either trying to protect me or other people from. It's
- 17:15Speaker 1: when I like, for instance, I was just like yo,
- 17:20Speaker 1: my roommate, I gotta give her my passport. I was
- 17:23Speaker 1: like yo, um, I don't want to move, Like how
- 17:29Speaker 1: a lot of Nigerians be moving anymore? Like what do
- 17:32Speaker 1: you mean the perfectionism thing, the grinding. I'm like, yo, fam,
- 17:39Speaker 1: is there a version of like doing the work and
- 17:45Speaker 1: not being exhausted? Um? Is there a version of ease
- 17:49Speaker 1: and flow to get me to the promised land? And
- 17:56Speaker 1: my fromer was like, oh wa, give me your passport
- 17:58Speaker 1: because you're not talking like like you eat and love right,
- 18:00Speaker 1: She's like give it like she was just like and
- 18:02Speaker 1: I was like no no if. I was like, that's
- 18:05Speaker 1: been successful. I've done the Nigerian thing and and it's
- 18:10Speaker 1: worked out great for me. But I hope it's tired. Yeah,
- 18:16Speaker 1: hold that thought. We are coming right back. How does
- 18:27Speaker 1: it feel to be in this moment in time where
- 18:30Speaker 1: you have a book that celebrated and being so beautifully
- 18:33Speaker 1: received all over the world and you are walking in
- 18:38Speaker 1: this beautiful journey with Insecure and coming coming into the
- 18:43Speaker 1: space where you guys are completing that. What does that
- 18:47Speaker 1: feel like right now? How does it feel to be
- 18:49Speaker 1: in this final season of Insecure? Are you guys crying
- 18:53Speaker 1: every day? It is? It is getting more and more emotional.
- 18:58Speaker 1: It is getting more and more because it's get more real,
- 19:00Speaker 1: like this is it? And you know, this was a
- 19:03Speaker 1: challenging season of trying to do it within covid um
- 19:07Speaker 1: because it's like trying to just stay your live, stay safe,
- 19:12Speaker 1: make sure nobody gets to make sure we don't get
- 19:13Speaker 1: shut down um. And then you know, also trying to
- 19:16Speaker 1: give our baby a send off. You know, Issa and
- 19:20Speaker 1: Prentice and everybody and all the writers are just like
- 19:22Speaker 1: wanting to make sure that like this is the legacy,
- 19:25Speaker 1: like you know, the final episode, you don't you don't
- 19:28Speaker 1: want people to be disappointed, like we've been rocking with you,
- 19:30Speaker 1: and it's like you know why, you know. And so
- 19:35Speaker 1: we had our final table read and tears definitely got
- 19:42Speaker 1: shut because I think in in the in the words
- 19:46Speaker 1: that these characters were saying to each other's a little
- 19:49Speaker 1: hikey low key with we're saying to each other like
- 19:54Speaker 1: we have to, we have to we all have to
- 19:56Speaker 1: go our separate ways. I'm not ready. I am not
- 19:59Speaker 1: We're not ready. I'm not ready not either. But but
- 20:03Speaker 1: you know, but a lot of good things, you know
- 20:05Speaker 1: what we're talking about, friendships, Like some good things have
- 20:07Speaker 1: to you have to say goodbye to some things, and
- 20:11Speaker 1: and and that's okay, Like because for what they were
- 20:14Speaker 1: in that moment, they were like, insecure is great Insecure
- 20:19Speaker 1: is great, you know, And for five seasons we've had
- 20:24Speaker 1: Sunday Nights be amazingly frustrating and fun and entertaining and
- 20:30Speaker 1: beautiful and loving and yeah, and now we're going to
- 20:37Speaker 1: move on to different things, but we'll always have that
- 20:40Speaker 1: content is forever um on file, it's on film. Yeah,
- 20:47Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It's like when we go
- 20:50Speaker 1: back and watch in Living Color or Girlfriends or any
- 20:55Speaker 1: of the shows that people grew up with, you know,
- 20:57Speaker 1: fresh Friends, you go back, can the nostalgia hits you.
- 21:01Speaker 1: It's just like, man, thank god that we have these
- 21:03Speaker 1: episodes of Martin, you know, thank God that we have
- 21:05Speaker 1: a different world. And it's just like one thing, someone's
- 21:09Speaker 1: gonna be like, Yo, let's gonna watch season one through
- 21:11Speaker 1: Father Been Security again. Yeah, that's my show twenty years
- 21:14Speaker 1: with now and tomorrow, and I feel like we're already
- 21:19Speaker 1: we already feel that way with that show tomorrow. Yeah,
- 21:22Speaker 1: Like it's um. It's also a moment because Jay said
- 21:28Speaker 1: this and I don't want to believe it. He said
- 21:30Speaker 1: it and I was like, there's a part of me
- 21:32Speaker 1: that's sad if it's true. But he was just like,
- 21:35Speaker 1: we'll never get this again. Black people working on a
- 21:39Speaker 1: black show with black creatives in front of and behind
- 21:44Speaker 1: the scenes. And I'm like the fact that that's so
- 21:48Speaker 1: um rare in is actually problematic for me. Um and
- 21:57Speaker 1: the fact that he might be right it's also problematic
- 22:01Speaker 1: for me. But I want to hold on. I want
- 22:03Speaker 1: to believe that he's wrong, Like I want to believe that,
- 22:06Speaker 1: like if we can do it once, we can do
- 22:10Speaker 1: it again. So who got next? You know who got next?
- 22:13Speaker 1: And we know that we definitely have something special, and
- 22:17Speaker 1: you know we're trying to save at the moments right now,
- 22:19Speaker 1: Like I'm not gonna from like I would be looking
- 22:21Speaker 1: at the east to like girls me and you don't
- 22:24Speaker 1: care what's going on the last day, I'm showing up.
- 22:26Speaker 1: I'm feeling like we end in this series together, like
- 22:29Speaker 1: you know, obviously our schedules are are different, um And
- 22:35Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not gonna I'm not leaving this. I'm
- 22:39Speaker 1: going to hear that's a rap a series finale rap
- 22:45Speaker 1: on Insecure, Like I'm going to hear that. So wherever
- 22:49Speaker 1: you're shooting, I'm coming. Or if we're not shooting together,
- 22:52Speaker 1: I'm showing up. We're shooting together, then that's where I'm at,
- 22:54Speaker 1: like it's he used to change my life. He's a
- 22:59Speaker 1: not only the show's changed my life, He's changed my life. Issa.
- 23:02Speaker 1: You talk about friendships. Easa remembered me at the time
- 23:05Speaker 1: where I tell her all the time I felt the
- 23:07Speaker 1: most forgotten. People were like, man, we're not worried about you.
- 23:10Speaker 1: You're gonna make it. I'm like, just worry about me, please,
- 23:15Speaker 1: Oh it's hungry. And she remembered me from when she
- 23:22Speaker 1: would see me do stand up like around town or
- 23:26Speaker 1: like host the African fashion shows and supported when first
- 23:31Speaker 1: Shan came out, you know, and when I auditioned, it
- 23:36Speaker 1: was just like you know, there's there was no guarantees,
- 23:38Speaker 1: but it was just like yo, five of those jokers
- 23:44Speaker 1: and I got to be the one to play Molly
- 23:46Speaker 1: and I. And here's one thing I was I know
- 23:48Speaker 1: about myself. Sure, I'm sure there was some talent, and
- 23:53Speaker 1: you know, I write in the book about what the
- 23:55Speaker 1: producers saw in me that tipped the scale for me
- 23:58Speaker 1: to be Molly um which has been boosoling to me.
- 24:05Speaker 1: But what I know why I know I am Molly
- 24:10Speaker 1: is because more than acting, my role was to be
- 24:16Speaker 1: a support to ease of right, and that that is
- 24:21Speaker 1: a role that I wholeheartedly play. I play that position
- 24:26Speaker 1: like fiercely. What does that mean? There's there are tons
- 24:31Speaker 1: of other people that could have acted Molly and been
- 24:34Speaker 1: probably better, Like it would be a different version, right,
- 24:37Speaker 1: Like you know, I'm not holding my skills because I
- 24:40Speaker 1: think I'm I bring to her something that we can't
- 24:44Speaker 1: unsee anymore. So like I'm Molly, but my position, whether
- 24:51Speaker 1: anyone asked me to be it or not, is I
- 24:54Speaker 1: came in there and being like, yo, I gotta protect
- 24:58Speaker 1: the head. M I'm number two. She I'm writing shotgun.
- 25:02Speaker 1: This is her show. So it was never about I
- 25:07Speaker 1: got pop. I got a shot. You know what you need?
- 25:10Speaker 1: You're good yo this. Other people come on set and
- 25:15Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, not picking up the context. Clue, this
- 25:17Speaker 1: is not the time to be talking like you got
- 25:20Speaker 1: If she go down, we go down. Stop, you know
- 25:23Speaker 1: what I mean? And I think for me that was important.
- 25:27Speaker 1: That's I'm like, say what you want to say? Sure,
- 25:29Speaker 1: I mean I got blessed from it. But like my
- 25:33Speaker 1: major role, yo, present that because how I show up
- 25:37Speaker 1: in this capacity one day, I'm mana have my own
- 25:40Speaker 1: show because someone's gonna show for me in that same capacity,
- 25:43Speaker 1: whether they whether I asked for it or not. I
- 25:45Speaker 1: so good seeds mm hmm to say it lightly, yeah,
- 25:55Speaker 1: you so epic seeds. You really do you so big
- 26:00Speaker 1: seeds and people in situations in the world and yourself.
- 26:08Speaker 1: Thank you as to you, but like a dress light
- 26:11Speaker 1: like I'm here kicking it with you and and and
- 26:14Speaker 1: being transparent and vulnerable and open with you because I'm like,
- 26:16Speaker 1: that's you, admit that and I I I rocks with
- 26:22Speaker 1: it so heavy because that's the space I desire to. Like, man, again,
- 26:27Speaker 1: if I only get one of these, I'm not I'm
- 26:30Speaker 1: not doing it with folks that I got an eggshell around.
- 26:33Speaker 1: I'm not doing it with folks. And I'm like toxic.
- 26:36Speaker 1: Life is too short, man, Like, That's what I keep
- 26:38Speaker 1: coming back to, Like could we potentially contort and maneuver
- 26:43Speaker 1: ourselves and all kinds of ways for you know, what
- 26:47Speaker 1: we're imagining is the sake of others? Um sure? But
- 26:53Speaker 1: why okay? This is yeah, yeah, okay, listen, they're busy
- 27:06Speaker 1: that deep size. How I mean when you beat dropping
- 27:08Speaker 1: nuggets on me, I'm like, okay, she's dropping all like
- 27:11Speaker 1: this dropping gems with yes, this makes absolute sense because
- 27:15Speaker 1: you've bean dropping like dripping the drip drop dropping, Okay,
- 27:19Speaker 1: all the gems and it's just like you're I remember
- 27:23Speaker 1: you said something you said verrified air. I'm like, you
- 27:29Speaker 1: talk about yourself too, because if you if you don't
- 27:32Speaker 1: give you what you give other people. Baby like this product,
- 27:36Speaker 1: open it drinking. Get high on your own supply. I
- 27:39Speaker 1: know Biggie told us not to, but get how on
- 27:41Speaker 1: your own supply because your supply is abundant and it
- 27:44Speaker 1: is rich and it is good. It's good. Thank you, friend.
- 27:50Speaker 1: I receive all of that, and I promise you I
- 27:53Speaker 1: get so high on my own supply. We're still talking
- 27:56Speaker 1: about like grace. Let's so um. This is then a
- 27:59Speaker 1: wonderful show. Um, this is an amazing show. I love
- 28:06Speaker 1: you so much. I love you so much. You are
- 28:11Speaker 1: epic in so many ways. You are you. You are
- 28:14Speaker 1: just a fantastic human being, but like just a breathtaking
- 28:21Speaker 1: friend like you really are. I'm so grateful for you.
- 28:26Speaker 1: Your book Bamboozled by Jesus by Yeshua is in stores
- 28:31Speaker 1: right now in all the places. You have your podcasts,
- 28:35Speaker 1: you have your show final Susan, I'm insecure. I cannot
- 28:40Speaker 1: um and whenever I whenever I miss you and I
- 28:42Speaker 1: don't see you, I just pop you on HBO and
- 28:44Speaker 1: I watch your comedy special again. I love you. I
- 28:46Speaker 1: let you tickle my soul that way. Tickle my didn't
- 28:49Speaker 1: feature husband. If you do not use the words that
- 28:52Speaker 1: deVie uses to describe me. And now I'm moving this world.
- 28:55Speaker 1: I don't want it. Keep it. I don't want it tickle.
- 28:58Speaker 1: If I don't tackle your soul, you want to share
- 29:01Speaker 1: with me partically yourself? What are we doing? Get out
- 29:04Speaker 1: of here? I love your friend. Thank you for blessing
- 29:07Speaker 1: us on the show today. Thank you, m M You're
- 29:10Speaker 1: the best, bah bah bah as always everyone, thank you
- 29:15Speaker 1: for listening, Thank you for rocking with the show. Go
- 29:17Speaker 1: ahead and drop that very abundant, beautifully worded review with
- 29:22Speaker 1: the five stars and the app store. Um and share
- 29:25Speaker 1: this with a friend. Let's really expand the way that
- 29:27Speaker 1: we hold space for ourselves and the way we hold
- 29:31Speaker 1: space for our friendships. Um, and a little soul work
- 29:34Speaker 1: that may feel good. Gleaned from this episode is maybe
- 29:39Speaker 1: spend a little time today or when you get a
- 29:42Speaker 1: moment um to really sit in and investigate are the
- 29:47Speaker 1: relationships in your life. Feeling nourishing, is your own relationship
- 29:52Speaker 1: with your self feeling nourishing? And if the answer is
- 29:56Speaker 1: not a resounding yes, s us to explore, explore why not,
- 30:02Speaker 1: and explore what possibilities may be available to you, What
- 30:06Speaker 1: what choices you can make, Be a little choosy with
- 30:10Speaker 1: your life, choosy love. So all right, let you guys
- 30:17Speaker 1: please