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Pushing Yourself: Embracing Discomfort on the Ice · The Nadia Chapman Show

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Welcome to the Nadia Chapman Show, the figure skaters edition.
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I hope you're well. Today we're talking about pushing ourselves.
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One thing that goes through my mind when I watch skaters skate and train and
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compete, I always ask, you know, I wonder if they're pushing themselves.
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You know, are you actually pushing yourself or are you mostly staying inside
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what we call your comfort zone.
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You know, what feels safe and familiar while telling yourself that you want
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more. And I don't mean that in a negative way.
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I don't mean that in some aggressive way, like work harder, motivational speech kind of way.
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Because honestly, I think a lot of athletes today are already carrying enough
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on their shoulders, enough pressure.
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A lot of skaters are exhausted mentally and they're overwhelmed and they overthink
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or they compare themselves constantly to others around them or trying to hold
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themselves together emotionally while also trying to improve physically on the ice.
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So this is not about screaming at you, screaming at people to wake up at 4 a.m. and work harder.
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That's not the conversation I want to have today. What I want to talk about
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is how growth actually works physiologically because I think a lot of athletes
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misunderstand what pushing yourself is supposed to feel like.
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And that's what I want to talk about today.
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We tend to romanticize confidence so much that people think that if they were
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truly ready for the next level, well, they would feel fearless or maybe more motivated or certain or
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fully prepared for taking bigger risks. But most of the time,
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growth feels awkward before it feels empowering. It feels very uncomfortable
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before it feels exciting.
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And if you've been there, you know. If you know, you know.
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It feels vulnerable before it becomes confidence.
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And I see this constantly in skating and in other sports as well.
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So for instance, a skater says that they want to improve, but they avoid fully
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committing to trying hard things, whether it's a hard jump because let's say
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they are scared to fall or they want more opportunities as a skater,
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but then they stay quiet and hidden and hesitate because deep down they're terrified
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of being rejected or maybe terrified of being judged.
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Or that's something that I worked with with somebody last week.
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They say that they want to compete at higher level, but mentally they keep rehearsing
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failure instead of possibility.
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And what's fascinating is that most people don't even realize how much energy
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they spend protecting themselves from that discomfort while also wishing for growth.
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The brain is wired for familiarity and safety. That we know.
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What's important to understand is that your nervous system does not automatically
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interpret growth as something that's positive and exciting.
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It often interprets growth as uncertainty.
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And uncertainty can feel very threatening.
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So that's why athletes often sabotage themselves in very subtle ways.
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And now that I'm saying this, I think the next episode should be just about
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that, sabotaging yourself, you know, and that shows up in procrastination or
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hesitation or overthinking, or maybe they train halfway committed.
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A lot of the time, they will pull back when things feel uncomfortable.
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And then they tell themselves, oh, I'm just not confident enough,
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when really, they've just become trapped, if I can say, in self-protection.
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And honestly, I think one of the biggest differences between athletes who grow
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and athletes who stay stuck for years is not talent.
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It's their relationship with discomfort.
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Some athletes just learn to normalize the uncomfortable feelings that come with
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becoming something new, and others spend years trying to avoid it. Hmm.
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Maybe that's the writer-downer for today, that some athletes learn to normalize
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being uncomfortable, and others spend years trying to avoid it,
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trying to avoid being uncomfortable.
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Because if you really think about it, every next level, every next level version
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of yourself is initially unfamiliar.
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I have actually, I pin a video of me talking about that on my Instagram.
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I think it's the first one up. Go check it out.
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The confident athlete feels unfamiliar before confidence becomes natural.
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The disciplined athlete feels familiar before discipline becomes identity.
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So the stronger skater, let's say, well, the mentally tougher competitor,
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the athlete who trusts themselves under pressure, all of that feels very awkward
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at first because the brain has not fully caught up yet to who they're becoming. That's normal.
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But this is where many people quit too early. They think that discomfort,
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things getting harder, is a problem.
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They think discomfort means, oh, I'm not good at this, or maybe I'm not meant for this.
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But often discomfort simply means that you're standing at the edge of your growth.
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So I remember hearing years ago that confidence is not built by avoiding hard things.
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Confidence is built by surviving hard things. And I like to repeat that to people
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around me and people I work with. And that changes everything when you start
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seeing it this way, because a lot of athletes are waiting to feel confident
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before they push themselves.
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But confidence is actually the result of repeatedly, again and again,
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doing uncomfortable things and then realizing that, you know what, I can handle that.
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And I think social media, by the way, has complicated things a little bit more
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with young athletes because now everybody sees everybody else's highlights and, you know,
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the good things they're doing and the jump they land and everybody sees clean
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run-throughs and new achievements and podium photos and success story and what's not.
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But what they don't see is the fall and the thousands of invisible moments behind it.
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You know, the tears, the self-doubt, the frustrating sessions,
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the moment where the athlete questioned themselves completely.
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Obviously, you don't see that.
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So now athletes are comparing their behind the scene reality,
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if I can say, to someone else's polished performance online.
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And it creates this illusion that everybody else around them is progressing
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faster and improving faster and handling pressure better than they are. And here's the truth.
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Most athletes are scared sometimes.
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It's OK. hey, it's normal. Most athletes doubt themselves.
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Most athletes feel mentally tired at time.
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And the difference is that some athletes continue moving through that discomfort,
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that pain, while others retreat from it and they take a step back.
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I also want to mention something important here because this conversation can
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easily become unhealthy if you misunderstand it.
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Pushing yourself doesn't mean emotionally destroy yourself.
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Hell no. It does not mean constant self-criticism. It doesn't mean to beat yourself up.
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It doesn't mean that you need to treat yourself horribly in the name of discipline.
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It does not mean believing that you are never enough.
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That's not mental toughness. That's emotional exhaustion disguised as ambition.
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There's a huge difference between healthy challenge and toxic pressure.
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And I'm going to tell you, healthy challenge says, this is hard, but you're growing.
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And toxic pressure says, if I fail, I'm worthless.
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So healthy challenge allow mistakes to happen, but toxic pressure catastrophize mistakes.
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So healthy challenge will build you as more resilient.
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Toxic pressure will create fear. And unfortunately, a lot of athletes grow up
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thinking that they need to hate themselves into greatness.
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I mean, even some coaches have that as a mentality.
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They think being hard on themselves is what creates success,
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but eventually that will catch up to you mentally.
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You know, your inner voice becomes nothing but criticism, added pressure,
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disappointment, and your nervous system will start associating your sport with
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emotional threat instead of growth. And what a sad thing.
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And that's where athletes start burning out, not always physically,
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but mentally, as we know.
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Sometimes burnout doesn't look dramatic. Sometimes it looks like losing the
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joy, the love for the sport.
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Maybe you've seen that around you, if you're a figure skater or if you practice another sport.
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Sometimes it's kind of feeling emotionally flat or struggling to focus.
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I've seen skaters before feeling anxious all the time or feeling disconnected
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from skating. and they used to love skating, a lot of high performing athletes
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don't even realize that it's happening because they're still functioning.
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They're still showing up. They're still training.
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They're still competing, but internally they are exhausted.
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So that's why I think pushing yourself has to come from a very deep place, deeper than fear.
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Fear can motivate temporarily, but I'm telling you it's not sustainable in the long term.
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Real growth as a skater or any athlete, Any sport you do comes from vision,
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from purpose, from becoming curious about your own potential instead of constantly
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attacking yourself into performance.
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So I think one of the most powerful questions skaters and athletes can ask themselves
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right now is not, am I working hard enough?
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But instead, am I being honest with myself? Am I truly challenging myself?
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Am I avoiding things that maybe would help me grow? That's a great question.
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Am I constantly waiting to feel ready?
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Am I mentally rehearsing failure more than focus?
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And another great question is, am I protecting myself from discomfort so much
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that I'm also protecting myself from growth?
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And if you are an athlete, a serious athlete, you should journal on all the questions that
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above. Because this is the reality, guys.
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Your brain is always practicing something. Your brain never shuts up,
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okay? Even avoidance becomes practice.
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So even hesitation becomes conditioning.
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Even negative self-talk can become trained behavior over time.
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So the nervous system learns through repetition, and athletes underestimate
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how much their thoughts shape their performance.
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So if every day you repeat to yourself, oh, I'm behind and I can't do this and
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I always mess up and I'm not good enough.
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Well, guess what? Your brain and your body will begin responding as if those
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thoughts were absolute facts.
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So your body listens to your mind constantly.
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And that's why visualization works. I cannot talk enough about the importance
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of becoming familiar with visualization and mental rehearsal.
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That's why identity work matters because your brain to respond to repetition,
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imagery, emotions, and things that are familiar.
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So the more you mentally rehearse possibility and being mentally strong,
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resilience, confidence, recovery, composure, if you imagine all this repeatedly
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in your mind, well, the more familiar those states become under pressure.
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And no, mindset work does not magically remove fear.
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Fear is always part of being human.
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Fear before something important usually means that you care.
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I say that a lot. The goal is not to become fearless.
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The goal is learning how to move forward while fear is still sitting in the
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passenger seat of your life. Okay?
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Every athlete, by the way, that you admire has felt uncomfortable.
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Just think about that. Every athlete that you see that's confident out there once felt uncertain.
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Every competitor you watch on
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TV once doubted themselves. Nobody skips the vulnerable stage of growth.
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And maybe that's what I really want skaters and athletes listening to this today to understand.
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If you want to become stronger mentally, more confident, more resilient,
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you cannot constantly choose comfort.
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You cannot choose comfort over growth and expect transformation and incredible result.
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But at the same time, you also cannot emotionally punish yourself into becoming your best self.
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You know, there's a balance. You know, you push yourself with compassion,
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challenge yourself with self-awareness, and grow without abandoning yourself in the process.
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It's not easy, but you can do it, you know. Becoming a strong skater or a strong
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athlete is not just about what you can do physically and what you do in practice
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and in lessons. It's about who you're becoming mentally while you're doing it.
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And honestly, sometimes the biggest breakthrough is not necessarily landing
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that jump or winning a medal and making on the podium. Sometimes the biggest
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breakthrough is becoming the kind of person who no longer runs for this comfort.
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I say this all the time. Skating is a school of life. What you're learning on
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the ice is going to serve you later in life.
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Imagine that. Imagine becoming the person who no longer collapse after a mistake
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or no longer needs perfection to believe in themselves.
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These are amazing life lessons that you carry with you forever.
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That kind of growth that can change everything, not just in your sport,
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but in your life. All right.
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Thank you so much for listening today. If this episode spoke to you,
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please share it with another athlete, a skater, a parent, a coach,
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or just somebody who might need this little reminder today.
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And as always, thank you for being here. Thank you for growing with me.
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And thank you for allowing these conversations to go deeper than just performance. I appreciate you.
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This is Nadia Chapman, and I'll see you in the next episode.