Latest / New Manager Conversations with Fexingo: First 90 Days, Managing Former Peers, and Leadership Basics / How New Managers Can Handle Impostor Syndrome
Transcript
- Lucas: So Sarah Chen gets promoted to lead a data science team of eight. She's thrilled for about a week. Then she sits down at her new desk and thinks, 'They're going to figure out I have no idea what I'm doing.' Luna: That feeling has a name — impostor syndrome — and it's incredibly common for new managers. Lucas: Right. And it's not just a 'feel better' problem. It actually affects how you lead. If you're constantly afraid of being exposed, you might micromanage, avoid delegating, or stay quiet in meetings. So what do you do about it? Lucas: Honestly, if this conversation is helpful to you — if it saves you even a little bit of that 'I'm not cut out for this' feeling — that's exactly the kind of thing that keeps us making this show. There's a link at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. The smallest contribution helps keep us ad-free and focused on content that actually helps managers. Luna: Yeah, and it really does make a difference. We hear from listeners who say these episodes got them through a tough first quarter. Lucas: So back to Sarah. She's not alone — a 2020 study from the International Journal of Behavioral Science found that 70 percent of people experience impostor syndrome at some point. But for new managers, it spikes because your entire identity shifts. Luna: You were good at your old job. You had proof. Now you're in a role where 'good' looks completely different. Lucas: Exactly. And the standard advice — 'fake it till you make it' — actually makes things worse. Because every time you pretend, you reinforce the idea that you're a fraud. Executive coach Dr. Marcia Reynolds has a different approach she calls the evidence log. Luna: What's that? Lucas: It's simple but specific. Every day for thirty days, you write down three things you did well as a manager. Not big wins — small, concrete things. Like 'I listened to a team member's concern without jumping to fix it' or 'I gave clear instructions on the new project.' Luna: So it's not about listing your accomplishments. It's about noticing the behaviors that actually make you a good leader. Lucas: Right. And the key is that you're not trying to convince yourself you're amazing. You're just collecting data. After thirty days, you have a log of real moments that prove you're doing the job. Luna: I actually did something like this after my first promotion. I didn't call it an evidence log, but I kept a note on my phone of positive feedback and small wins. And I remember looking back after a month and thinking, 'Okay, maybe I'm not terrible at this.' Lucas: That's exactly the point. Your brain tends to focus on the negative — the one awkward meeting, the mistake in the spreadsheet. The evidence log forces you to counterbalance that. Luna: But isn't there a risk that it just becomes a feel-good exercise? Like, you're cherry-picking only the good stuff? Lucas: It's not about ignoring problems. It's about building an accurate picture. Because when impostor syndrome is strong, you're not seeing the full picture — you're only seeing the gaps. The log helps you recalibrate. Lucas: Dr. Reynolds also emphasizes that the log should focus on manager-specific actions, not technical wins. So Sarah might write 'I helped a team member reframe a problem they were stuck on' rather than 'I fixed the machine learning model.' Luna: That makes sense because the impostor syndrome often comes from comparing your managerial skills to your technical ones. You were a star individual contributor, and now you feel clumsy. Lucas: Exactly. And another layer is that impostor syndrome doesn't just affect behavior — it affects how others perceive you. If you constantly downplay your contributions or apologize for your decisions, your team starts to doubt you too. Luna: So there's a self-fulfilling prophecy. You act like a fraud, and then people treat you like one. Lucas: Right. Which is why the evidence log isn't just about feeling better. It changes your behavior. When you have concrete proof that you've handled situations well, you're more likely to speak up in meetings, delegate confidently, and give direct feedback. Luna: I want to go back to something you said earlier — that 70 percent statistic. Is impostor syndrome more common in certain groups? Lucas: It's pretty universal, but research shows it can be more intense for women and people from underrepresented groups, especially when they're in environments where they're the only one. But the evidence log works across the board because it's not about changing your identity — it's about changing your evidence base. Luna: So what about the other 30 percent? Do they just not have self-doubt? Lucas: Some of them might genuinely lack self-awareness. But many of them experience self-doubt too — they just don't label it as impostor syndrome. They might call it 'healthy humility' or 'I'm still learning.' The difference is in how they respond to it. Luna: So the goal isn't to eliminate self-doubt entirely. It's to keep it from paralyzing you. Lucas: Exactly. A little bit of doubt can actually make you a better manager — it keeps you open to feedback and more careful in your decisions. The problem is when the doubt becomes the dominant voice. Lucas: Let me give you a concrete example of how this plays out. I talked to a manager named James who kept rejecting his own ideas in meetings because he thought they weren't good enough. Then a junior team member proposed the same idea a week later and everyone loved it. Luna: Ouch. That's the impostor tax. Lucas: Exactly. He was paying a tax in credibility and influence. After he started the evidence log, he noticed a pattern — every time he had an idea, he'd immediately think of three reasons it might fail. But when he looked at his log, he saw that his past ideas had actually worked more often than not. Luna: So the log gave him a more accurate baseline. Lucas: Right. And he started speaking up more. Not because he was suddenly confident, but because he had data that said, 'It's worth sharing this.' Luna: I think there's also a trap where people think impostor syndrome is something you 'get over' permanently. But it can come back with every new role or big challenge. Lucas: Absolutely. Dr. Reynolds calls it 'situational impostor syndrome.' When Sarah gets promoted to senior manager in three years, she might feel it all over again. But now she has a tool to deal with it. Luna: So the evidence log isn't a cure. It's a practice. Lucas: Exactly. And one more thing — the log works best when you share it with someone you trust. A mentor, a peer, or even your partner. Saying 'I did this thing well' out loud makes it more real. Luna: That's vulnerable though. Especially for someone with impostor syndrome who's afraid of being seen as arrogant. Lucas: That's why you choose the person carefully. A good mentor will say 'Good. Now what did you learn from it?' They reinforce the competence without letting you inflate it. Luna: So to wrap up — if you're a new manager and that voice in your head says you don't belong, try the evidence log for thirty days. It's low effort, high return. Lucas: And if the voice is still there after thirty days, that might be a signal worth paying attention to. But more often than not, you'll find that the evidence says something different than the fear.