Latest / Untraditionally Lala / Sex Unlocked: Caught in the act & other sex confessions

Transcript

Sex Unlocked: Caught in the act & other sex confessions · Untraditionally Lala

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Let's talk about sex, baby. Hello, my little sex pots.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to our podcast, Sex Unlocked.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: Hello, Sally Carson.
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: Hello. How are we doing?
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: How are you doing? Are you in the bed?
• 0:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I haven't been able.
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: To get out of my bed for like three days.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Wait, why? I don't know.
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: I had a really big weekend.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Of course you did.
• 0:19
  Speaker 4: I know. I am someone that has to like be
• 0:24
  Speaker 4: around people and I just have not had a social battery.
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: It's very weird. I feel very off.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: Because you haven't really seen anybody?
• 0:30
  Speaker 4: I mean, I had the opportunity to see people. I
• 0:32
  Speaker 4: just said no, which is very not like me. Like
• 0:35
  Speaker 4: you could just be like, hey, let's go grab a
• 0:37
  Speaker 4: cocktail and I'm like ready to go.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: I feel like you've been on for the past like
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: 400 years though. So maybe this is your moment to
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: like kind of regroup, recharge, listen to your body.
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: I think I'm just getting old.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: Getting old.
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: That happens.
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: I feel old.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: That happens.
• 0:56
  Speaker 4: But I'm going out.
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: I'm going out tonight.
• 0:59
  Speaker 4: Good.
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: Where are we going? What are we doing? Who are
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: we seeing?
• 1:04
  Speaker 4: I'm going to meet Madison for drinks with a cute
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: little friend of hers that I've followed on Instagram for years.
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: And I'm so excited.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: Is it a girl or a boy?
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: A girl.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: A girl.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: Oh, cute little girls night.
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: Yes, I'm so excited.
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: And I've been following this girl like before I was
• 1:19
  Speaker 4: on The Bachelor.
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: Was she on The Bachelor?
• 1:21
  Speaker 4: No, she's just like, she's just like a cute little
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: influencer that like shows her style and stuff. I think
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: she lives in Nashville, but I think she like wants
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: to move here.
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: She's super cute. She's like a cute kitty.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: Oh, she's so cute.
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: I know, she's adorable.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: Oh, she's got like a little Hayden Panettiere vibe.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: She does.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: All right, P.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: I have to tell you.
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: What?
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: My mom and my brother asked me, they're like, since
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: you begin doing what it is you do this week,
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: we're thinking of taking Sosa to the desert. And we'll
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: just like check on the house since we probably won't
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: be able to make it to Palm Springs before the holiday,
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: which is where we spend our holiday is in the desert.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: And I was like, that sounds great. Squatty potty hits
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: me up and he's like, Hey, I'm coming into town.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: I texted him yesterday. I was like, Hey, have you
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: decided where you're staying? He said, you're not going to
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: like my answer. I was like, what does that mean?
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: I thought he was going to hit me with the,
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: I'm not coming because now it's perfect. I'm like, Oh,
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: I got a house to myself. I get to veg out.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: He was like, I haven't booked where I'm staying. I said,
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: My family is gone, which is so funny to say.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: It's like, this is my house, but I feel like
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: I'm in high school being like, mom's at a town party.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: That's so funny.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: So I was like, the fam's gone. And so he's,
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: he's going to stay here this weekend. But my friend
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: was telling me that she's having a weekend with her husband.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: And obviously she has two little kids and wants to
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: have like pounded out chicken sexy time. So she told
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: me about these chocolate bars called they're by Alice. She
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: was like, I take the sleepy time ones.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: You get them at air one.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: So obviously they're going to be like $ 400. I'm sure
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: not really, but she was like the sleepy time ones
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: work so well that the arousal ones are going to
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: have to be money. So when I saw it, it
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: said mushroom. And I was like, I can't take that.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: She was like, no, it's not actual. Like mushrooms where
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: you're gonna have like what is that a trip on
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: that yeah go into like a psychological i don't know
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: no i don't i can't do mushrooms yeah you got
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: to be careful they can turn on you very quickly
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: yeah but it's a functional dark chocolate infused with adaptogens
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: and herbs designed to boost libido arousal and sexual wellness
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: it says to take three if you want to have
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: like buck wild time so obviously i'm taking.
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: Four wait it says how many to take Yeah, if.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: You like how many squares to take.
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: Does it say one gets you here, two gets you here?
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like one keeps you on like the path of
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: just like consistency.
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: Three gets you buck wild, apparently.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to because three is going to leave
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: me with a weird shaped chocolate bar.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: So I've got to take four.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: You have to take four.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Because my OCD will not allow the chocolate bar to
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: look that way.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: I need to hear about this after you take it.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: No, I really, I fucking can't wait. I'm so excited,
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: but I'm trying to find what's actually in it. I
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: had it here and now, oh, here it is. Have
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: you heard of horny goat weed?
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: Horny goat weed?
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it says it includes ashwagandha, maca root, horny goat weed.
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: What is horny goat weed? I'm asking because that's crazy.
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: I've never heard of anything like that.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: I haven't either, but I'm very excited. I'm so excited
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: to try it.
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: That's exciting.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: It's so exciting.
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: He's going to, I'm seriously thinking he's going to be
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: scared of you because you're already horny as it is.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: Now I'm ready to go though.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: He's looking for, he's looking for like 2011 Lala and
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: I'm about to be 2011 Lala.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: That is for sure.
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: Horny goat weed is an herbal supplement that's marketed mainly
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: for libido and sexual function. Wow.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: It says eat one piece.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: 30 minutes before sexual activity, but on the actual box,
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: which I do not have because she only gave me
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: one pack.
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: But if it works, you can get them on Amazon.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: I was like, Oh, I'll be at the grocery store.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: You said, right? Yeah.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: Do you guys have air one?
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: No, but I've been to one.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: It's like whatever.
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: Right?
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: No, I liked it.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: Oh, you did?
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: Food in there.
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: There's like a whole frigging. Oh no.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: Everything's fantastic. Everything's just like very expensive. It's like $ 22
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: for a smoothie.
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: I'm a good old Harris Teeter girl because they got
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: the they got the bar in the Harris Teeter.
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: You can walk around with your wine. What is that?
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: A grocery store?
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: That sounds fun.
• 6:09
  Speaker 4: You don't have that?
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: What's it called? Teeterboro?
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: Harris Teeter.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: Harris Teeter?
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: No.
• 6:18
  Speaker 4: Harris.
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: H-A-R-R-I-S.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: No.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: Or Publix?
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: Publix.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: Love a Publix. Publix with an X.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: They've got great baked goods.
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: They've got good meat too.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: They have the meat. You know, I love the meat.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: So that's what my weekend is about to entail.
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: I'm so excited for you. I know.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: I'm kind of excited for me too. And I got
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: a lymphatic massage. So if he chooses to fuck me
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: squatty potty position, I feel like I'm going to be fine.
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: How do you, did they do your stomach?
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: How do you feel afterwards?
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: Rough. It's a lot.
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: I got one before leaving for Tulum. I was throwing
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: up all night.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: Oh, I don't think that's no, I didn't feel like
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: I was going to throw up. It just felt painful
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: because of how she was like pushing and moving everything.
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: Oh, I was like cramping. I guess I have a
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: lot of toxins, you know, but.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: She also said that I carry, she was like, you
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: carry a lot of stress in your gut. So I
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: wonder if that's what it could have been too.
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: Can I ask you a question? That's like, are you,
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: are you, why am I even asking you if I
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: can ask this? The girl who talks about shitting on
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: a plane. Are you regular? Like when you're not traveling,
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: I know you had to take all of those laxatives.
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: Like when you're at home base, are you regular?
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm pretty regular.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: That's so weird that you would be throwing up after
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: that then.
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: I know, but it was like massive cramps. Like I
• 7:49
  Speaker 4: felt like someone was inside of me trying to get.
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: Out with like a knife. I'm like the most horrible
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: pain I've ever felt. So I've never gotten another one.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: How many days before that happened?
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: Did you get the massage, the lymphatic massage? One, one day.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: And did you go to Tulum and then drink?
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: Were you drinking?
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: No, no.
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: Like it was that night.
• 8:09
  Speaker 4: Like I had it in the morning and that night
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: I was up all night, like throwing up, cramping.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: After the massage then, did you have alcohol?
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: No.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: That's so weird.
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: I know. I've been so terrified to get another one.
• 8:22
  Speaker 4: So now I just do my face when I go. Yeah.
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: I don't ever want to feel that way again.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: Maybe try a different girl. When I say like it hurt, I,
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: it's not like I couldn't get off the toilet. I
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: wasn't vomiting. It was just like someone clearly pushed on
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: my stomach hard.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: Well, I love the way my stomach looked after though.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: I had a stomach like you.
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: I'm going to Miami this weekend. We've got big weekends
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: ahead of us.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: We do. Mine involves staying put. And you're hopping on
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: a plane. Your status has got to be wild. Do
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: you always fly a certain airline?
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: Delta. It really isn't that good because I just started traveling.
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm going to Miami for a girls weekend. 12 girls.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, this is so fun.
• 9:10
  Speaker 4: So excited. I texted the guy that I shit myself
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: next to.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: Did he reply?
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he's getting us hotel rooms.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: Oh, love it.
• 9:20
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: I'm like, have you still not heard my podcast? Maybe
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: he's into it.
• 9:25
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: That's the best though, is when you find men who
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: are like, so not in this world at all. And
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: then we can talk about on the podcast and they're
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: not even going to know. Yeah.
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: I love it.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: No fucking idea.
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: So I'm excited.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: I'm excited for you.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: Yesterday after I worked out, I went and got a
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: juice with Amber and there was this guy who was
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: clearly delivering a package to one of the businesses and
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: he was so fucking hot, Sally.
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: I just about died.
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: A delivery man.
• 9:56
  Speaker 4: Sure.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: I didn't know whatever i don't care we know we
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: don't discriminate over here like whatever i got delivery.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: Man mall man yeah i.
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: Don't care where you work that's when they're the hottest.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: You know what i see a man with a fucking
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: job and that's good enough for.
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: Me that is so true that is you know i
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: don't care yeah You're working hard and you're delivering packages.
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: You're getting people their stuff safely.
• 10:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: I appreciate that because I have been on the receiving
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: end of someone not caring if I get my package.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: So when I see you out here looking fine as hell,
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: walking into a business and delivering their package safely.
• 10:38
  Speaker 4: Sexy.
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: Sexy.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: So I was like, he is fine. Amber is like,
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: we need to get His number for you. So she fucking,
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: and we were on 10, right? We had just gone
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: to the gym, trained by also a sexy man. She's
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: fucking hauling to get to this delivery guy. So we've
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: been talking. He lives a little bit far away, but
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: I'm okay with that because I got a car.
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: Wait, how is he? Oh, like, like, but he still
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: lives there. He lives in LA.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: Which is rare for me. But you know what happens sometimes?
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: Tell me.
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: You see a man that's delivering a package or you
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: see a bartender or you see someone else doing something
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: like that, a job like that. And you're like, oh,
• 11:22
  Speaker 4: my God, they're so sexy. But then you take them
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: away from behind the bar and you see them out
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: in the wild. They're not as sexy.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but babe, he was pretty much in the wild.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: I mean, he was wearing completely normal clothes.
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: Oh, he was?
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Wait, why was he wearing normal clothes?
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I didn't read too much into it
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: because look at him in this photo. I don't know
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: why this one turns me on so much.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: He's like yelling. We can't obviously look at him yell
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: at whoever he's yelling at.
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: Okay, wait. He is hot.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: He's so hot.
• 11:55
  Speaker 4: He's yelling at football players.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but they're like little kids. So I'm sure it's like...
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: But look at that little face tattoo.
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: Oh, fuck yeah. What does that say?
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm about to find out though.
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: After I take my, my four Alice happy ending chocolates,
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: I'm about to know what's on his face.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: So will my vagina.
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: Do you ever wonder what he's thinking?
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: No, I never think about what they're thinking.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: Like, holy shit. Lala is texting me. That's what I
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: mean though. I think he's like, I don't know who
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: is this girl. He probably thinks I'm just, Like an influencer.
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: Out in the wild.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: You what?
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: You don't think he's looked you up?
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: I'm sure he has now, but I don't think.
• 12:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Who knows?
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: I don't, I don't think like that.
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: Like a lot of people ask me like my, my
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: sperm donor. They're like, can you imagine this guy's just
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: like out in these streets, not even realizing that his sperm.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: Went to you and I was like, I don't know.
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: He doesn't know.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: He has no idea.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: He knows that his sperm went somewhere because it's off
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: of the page. He has no idea who it went to.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: He has no idea that he just helped create one
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: of the most gorgeous humans.
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: She's so cute.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: She's so fucking cute.
• 13:24
  Speaker 4: Do you think she would ever grow up and wonder
• 13:27
  Speaker 4: who that is that gave you the sperm?
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: She might. When she's 18, she's allowed to go find him.
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they have like where he is. Yeah, the cryobank
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: where I got the goods. Yeah, she can find him
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: if she wants to.
• 13:44
  Speaker 4: I'm surprised like the guys don't like sign something that's
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: like they can never come to me or find me.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: I bet there are men who do.
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: Can you imagine selling all your sperm? It's like that movie,
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: The Delivery Man. Isn't that what the.
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: He has like 500 kids because he sold all his sperm.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah. By the way, though, that guy was doing highly
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: illegal shit. And when I chose to get a sperm
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: donor and I was fully pregnant, there were so many
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: people that are like, oh my gosh, you got pregnant
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: with a sperm donor. Have you seen that documentary about
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: that doctor who inseminated like a thousand women with his
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: own sperm?
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: And I was like, why are you telling me this?
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: Read the room.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: I don't want.
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: To know that right now.
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: I'm like, Six months pregnant.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: Like we're here. We did it. There's nothing I can
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: do about this.
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: You're full blown having a baby.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, for real.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: All right. We have questions and I'm actually hyped on this.
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: Do you still want another baby right now?
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: No.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: After dealing with Ocean for the past week, getting emails
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: from the school being like, your child will come home
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: with a folder. It needs to come back every single
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: day to school. This was last Monday. It's been almost
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: two weeks. And I'm like, what folder is this?
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: So I hunt through her room. She's added it to
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: her play stuff, her office play stuff. So I had
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: to tell her today, Ocean, this backpack that I'm sending
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: you to school with is not to fill with toys.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: It's not to bring home and play with all this
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: stuff and pretend like you're a teacher.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: This is real life now, girl. You're in kindergarten.
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: You're in kindergarten.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: This is real life, bitch.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: This fucking folder with the American flag on it that
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: you colored, which is very weird.
• 15:38
  Speaker 4: USA.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: We love.
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: You.
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: I used to pack my book bag with like 10
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: pacifiers and go over there and like suck them in
• 15:46
  Speaker 4: the corner and hide it. Cause I was embarrassed that
• 15:48
  Speaker 4: I still sucked pacifiers.
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: How old were you?
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: Um, can I run?
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: You're lucky you don't have a binky mouth, babe.
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: Uh, yeah. What is that?
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: Kids who suck on binkies for too long. Their mouths
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: get weird. And you can tell. Even someone who is
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: grown as fuck, you're like, ah, you sucked a binky
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: too long when you were a baby.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't have it at all.
• 16:13
  Speaker 4: I'm going to look that up when we get off
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: of here. I just got an insane text. I have
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: to share it.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: Oh, love it.
• 16:28
  Speaker 4: Share.
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: From ghost.
• 16:30
  Speaker 4: Ooh. Last week he calls me and he was like,
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: but I just got a random phone call and I
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: answered it. And it's my ex-girlfriend who like did him dirty.
• 16:41
  Speaker 4: Like he, whatever. And she's like basically threatening him, threatening me.
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: Like she was like, I know who your girl is, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 16:50
  Speaker 4: Like stay away from my man, all this stuff. He just,
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: and he was like, she knows where I am. So like,
• 16:55
  Speaker 4: I'm scared that she's going to show up. She said
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: on the phone that she was going to show up
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: or whatever. And I was like, I'm sure she won't
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: show up. She doesn't know what apartment you're in or
• 17:03
  Speaker 4: wherever you are. He just texted me.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: Good morning. I hope you woke up feeling better. I didn't.
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: This fucking girl showed up.
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: Woke up to her banging on my door at 8.30
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: this morning. His ex-girlfriend flew all the way across the
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: country to go and show up on a front doorstep.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: She 100% listens to the podcast, I bet.
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: That's how she knows.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: Well, great.
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: She called him and she was like, you don't think
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: I know that you're a ghost? Apparently she looks like
• 17:28
  Speaker 4: a version of like alex earl or something she's hot.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: But yeah well he's hot wait this makes me nervous
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: dude me too especially i.
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: Said what the fuck did you let her in i
• 17:40
  Speaker 4: literally just got this like i was wondering why i
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: always wake up to a facetime.
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: Call from him.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: Always oh and you didn't today i didn't today oh
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: my god i have a pit in my stomach for
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: you that is the worst Yeah.
• 17:54
  Speaker 4: Cause I was like, do you still love her? Or like,
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: cause he was like in love with her and she
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: cheated on him. And I was like, do you still
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: have feelings for her?
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: Like, so that's why it ended was because.
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: He, she cheated.
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Like he left her and he was like, I mean,
• 18:07
  Speaker 4: I loved her, but like, no, like I'm in love
• 18:09
  Speaker 4: with you. I don't want anyone else. Like he was like,
• 18:13
  Speaker 4: and even then you're not in love with me. I'm
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: in love with you. I don't want, I don't want
• 18:16
  Speaker 4: to be with her. I don't know, but that freaks
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: me out.
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: And guess what? I'm toxic. So it makes me want
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: to more.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: Can I tell you, When I start seeing a dude,
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: let's just say like the circumstances are a little wonky.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: I have to literally sit there and say, okay, if
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: this were to come out, are you prepared for the consequences?
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: And if the answer is no, I know that I
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: can no longer see that person anymore.
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: I mean, he doesn't always, you cannot keep things a secret.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: You just can't. It's very hard in this day and
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: age with all the social media and people, you know,
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: playing fucking detective, all these sleuths.
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: You will always get found out at some point.
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: You're telling me. I have a fat mouth. I can't
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: believe it's not already out.
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: It's only been a few months. You got to keep
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: us updated on that. Is she still there?
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: I mean, that text I got.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: She's still there?
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: That text I got at noon. 12.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: You must text him. You must text him and say,
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: is she still there?
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: I literally just said, what the fuck did you let
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: her in?
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: Babe, if that woman is still there, they fucked.
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: I mean, clearly if he's not answering me, they're definitely
• 19:24
  Speaker 4: like talking.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: All right, let's get into our questions. So there's this woman.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: I'm a freshly 20 year old girl and I feel
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: like I've already experienced pretty much everything sexually. I've been
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: very sexually active since I turned 18. Okay, so a
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: couple of years. I always knew I would like sex
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: because I started humping pillows at 12. Also got my
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: first orgasm at 12, which is... is insane to me
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: because anyway do you have any but anyway do you
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: have any advice on how to lower my sex drive
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: thank you I love y'all I think this sounds like
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: an addiction I have no idea how to lower your
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: sex drive let me tell you this girl's only 20
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: that is so fucking young when I was 18 I
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: was a Jack rabbit. We would go and buy the
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: packs of condoms that come in. Like, I think at
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: seven 11, we would get a pack of Trojans and
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: it was maybe like seven.
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: In the thing.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: And you would think like, okay, this will last us
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: like two, three days. They would be gone that night.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: Cause it was just like, we were.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: Like little Jack rabbits.
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: Complete opposite.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: When you were younger.
• 20:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: Like I, I was a late bloomer.
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: That's fine.
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: I also had boyfriends.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: This was my high school sweetheart that we, that I
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: wasn't like the guy that I, the first guy I
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: ever slept with at 17 ended up being my boyfriend
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: until I turned 20.
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: Y'all were just fucking a lot.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: We were fucking a lot.
• 21:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: And then we would have like later on when he
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: graduated and went to college and I was still like
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: in Salt Lake. I would be sleeping with other dudes.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: And so I started getting, you know, like when you
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: start fucking and you're like, oh, I feel comfortable. I
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: should be sharing this with the world.
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: That's how I got.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: Um, so I don't know if this is like anything
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: to worry about having your first orgasm at 12.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: That was fucking crazy.
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: I didn't even know what that was. Not at all.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: I think I was still, that's the sixth grade. I
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: think I was still playing with like dolls.
• 21:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah. Same.
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: How do you.
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: I wonder if Chad knows how to lower your sex drive.
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: How to lower.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you how.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: You watch the porn that I watched the other night
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: that I was scarred from with the woman getting fisted
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: in her butt.
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: No, that's insane.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: That you will go fully dry like the Sahara. You
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: won't need anything.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Google that because I have no idea. But I
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: feel like this could spiral out of control. Like you
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: definitely need to monitor how much porn you're consuming.
• 22:04
  Speaker 4: For sure. It just says to stay like physically active,
• 22:08
  Speaker 4: not sex wise.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: So like go for a jog, babe.
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Go for a jog. Keep busy. Get sleep and
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: limit your alcohol or drug use.
• 22:17
  Speaker 4: Masturbation can also temporarily reduce sexual tension for some people,
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: but that can easily become an addiction too.
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: So that's all I got. Go for a run.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: Hi, Lala and Sally.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: I've been married for almost seven years and my husband
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: won't go down on me.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: Sad face emoji.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: No, I've ever had her from head. The last time
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: I brought it up for him to do it. It's
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: like he's offended that I ask and he says it's unsanitary,
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: but it's my juices. Yet he wants me to give
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: him head. but he won't give it to me, which
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: I haven't given him a BJ in months because if
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: he's not giving me any, sure as fuck I'm not
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: giving it back. It makes me miss my best guy
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: friend who always went down on me first and loved it.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: The guy got off from just giving me head. Any
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: suggestions on how to help?
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: Love you, ladies.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: Also, he's 11 years sober, so alcohol is never involved
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: prior to sexy time.
• 23:17
  Speaker 4: Oh, no.
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: That's terrible. I hate that for her.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: I do too. You know what I think it is?
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: I don't think he thinks it's unsanitary. I think he
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: probably doesn't know how to do it. I think he's
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: probably done it with chicks and he's gotten bad feedback.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: And now he's like traumatized and doesn't want to do it.
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: Wait, hold on. I need to know if he has
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: ever gone down on her.
• 23:38
  Speaker 4: Never? Never, ever, ever? No.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: No.
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: Almost seven years they've been married.
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: Gosh. Gosh. Like that's, I can't even imagine.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: And also if I'm putting your dick in my mouth.
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: Get down there.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: Get down there.
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: Maybe like if he's begging you to suck your, his dick,
• 24:02
  Speaker 4: like be like, okay, fine. 69.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: I think you need to get deep with him and
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: just say, you say it's unsanitary. These are my feelings
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: about that. Is there something deeper? Also, if you're not
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: pleased sexually with, This marriage is never going to last because.
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: There will be a day that that shit fades. It
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: should be popping.
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: You've been with this man and married for almost seven years.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: The seven year itch is a real thing. I want
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: her to write back and tell us once they hit
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: seven years, how's it going?
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: I wish I had some tricks that you could make
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: him go down on you.
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: But I mean, he doesn't technically have to lick her
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: vagina hole.
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: He could just stay up towards the clit where the.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: Juices are hot.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: Well, by the way, like on like tongue in the
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: hole is like the thought is sexy, but that's not
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: going to get any type of job done. Just like
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: suck on the clit and use your fingers.
• 24:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: He doesn't even have to go. He doesn't have to
• 25:02
  Speaker 4: be on the juices.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: Also do it in the shower. Have her use a
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: little summer's Eve. You know, it's nice and clean. She
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: clearly hasn't been, let me tell you the moment you
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: don't give her what she wants, she's going to call
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: her best friend, get it elsewhere. And now you've really
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: got to worry.
• 25:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah. This guy's, this guy's going down. If you don't,
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: if he doesn't go down, your.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: Marriage is going down.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: If you don't go down, babe, how much do you
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: want this marriage to work?
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: God.
• 25:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: Eat the cookie.
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: Eat the cookie.
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: Turn into a little cookie monster.
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: I love cookie.
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: I've never had a guy not want to go down
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: on me.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: Have you?
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't say not want to, but I've definitely ran
• 25:46
  Speaker 4: into guys that won't. And I'm like, I wonder why,
• 25:52
  Speaker 4: but they don't, they just like get freaked out.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: What?
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: Like one of my best guy friends, like he won't
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: do it.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: Which doesn't affect you. Wait, Austin?
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: No, no, no, no. Different guy.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 26:07
  Speaker 4: No. And like this guy, like I hooked up with
• 26:08
  Speaker 4: him before and he like won't do it, but he
• 26:10
  Speaker 4: tells me about it. He's like, I don't like doing that,
• 26:13
  Speaker 4: but he also won't let me suck his dicks.
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: I'm like, what?
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: Okay. Well, if you don't have to do the job,
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: then like, whatever, whatever. Don't expect me to be down
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: there doing work, playing with these balls and doing the
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: whole bit.
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: There's a lot happening down there.
• 26:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah. A lot of work. Yeah.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: My first question though, when I'm, when I'm talking to
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: a dude, when we start getting sexual, sexy time, talk,
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: I straight up asked, do you eat pussy?
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: If we, if you don't, what are we doing?
• 26:42
  Speaker 4: We're done.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: We're done.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: I need a little something, but by the way, that
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: doesn't mean that every time we hook up, like I'm
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: expecting that. I just got to know that that's on
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: the table.
• 26:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah. My ex boyfriend, the crazy one was obsessed with
• 26:58
  Speaker 4: it and he was so good at it.
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: Oh, maybe I should call him.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: Maybe I should call him after that text. You should
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: be calling him.
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: I should be calling somebody. I mean, he's not responding.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: He's with her, Sally.
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: And let me tell you guys, this man is like
• 27:16
  Speaker 4: in love with me. Like he does not not answer.
• 27:20
  Speaker 4: And he does not not call me in the morning
• 27:21
  Speaker 4: to make sure I slept OK.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: Also, like even just a quick text being like, hey,
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: I'm doing this. Let me call you in just a
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: little bit. Like he's not responding at all. He's not answering.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: He's not texting.
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: And I hated that text. Hope you feel better. I don't.
• 27:38
  Speaker 4: This fucking girl showed up. How does she know what
• 27:42
  Speaker 4: number apartment? Like he definitely had to give her the information.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: You already know how I feel about this guy. I
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: think that there's a lot of red flags. I think
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: it's cute that he's like tried to paint them green
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: by like, you don't text.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: Okay, now I'm going to text.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: But I think clocking those things was a good thing
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: and not saying that you love him because now he's
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: got his ex. at his house and there's comfortability. And
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: the only reason it ended was because she cheated. It's
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: not like he wasn't into it anymore.
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: And clearly they have like longstanding history. If she's like
• 28:15
  Speaker 4: showing up to his place. Cause that's the kind of
• 28:17
  Speaker 4: shit me and.
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: My ex do.
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: They've clearly been in contact.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 28:24
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: And I don't know that she's that crazy. I don't
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: think she's as crazy as he's making it sound.
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: Questions incoming. Have you ever been walked in on while
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: having sex? Ever caught by a parent, an ex?
• 28:42
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: Which one? All three?
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: No, my ex-fiance showed up to my apartment here in
• 28:51
  Speaker 4: Charleston like four years ago, three years ago. And I
• 28:55
  Speaker 4: had Gaston in my bed. The guy that Taylor Green dated. Yeah.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: The one with the long hair?
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: No.
• 29:05
  Speaker 4: He was on last season.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: Gaston.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: She's still with him.
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: No.
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: Really?
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: They broke up.
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah. He cheated on her. Cause he's just a stellar guy.
• 29:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah. No, she, he walked in, like he came into my, well, no,
• 29:23
  Speaker 4: he opened the door. I was standing there and he
• 29:24
  Speaker 4: like pushed me out of the way. He was like,
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: who's in here.
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: Oh my God.
• 29:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: That is so awkward.
• 29:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: It was terrible.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: I was masturbating one day with my bathrobe.
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: You know how I told you about the bathrobe trick?
• 29:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: This was so long ago. And my roommate opened the
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: door and it was so awkward. I didn't stop though.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: I got, I walked out and I was like, I'm
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: really sorry.
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: You had to see that.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: She was like, what the fuck were you doing? I'm like,
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: my vibrators dead and I don't know where the charger
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: is so you just do what you have to do
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: then I was fucking my high school sweetheart and apparently
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: the next day I was talking to my sister-in-law and
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: my mom and we were talking about my then boyfriend
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: and my mom was like Lauren dad came in to
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: the room last night and said that you and so
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: and so cannot have sleepovers anymore because he heard you
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: And I was like, what? I was like, we were
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: not doing anything.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: I finally admitted to.
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: It, but like how repulsive for my dad and how
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: awkward for me. And I've only been caught one time,
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: like actually in the act by a guy who was
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: like pretty much living with me. Ever called someone the
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: wrong name in bed?
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: When you masturbate, are there times that you say a
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: guy's name?
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: I don't think out loud, but there's sometimes when I'm
• 30:53
  Speaker 4: like thinking about someone. Yeah.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: Ever been turned on at an inappropriate time?
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: Every day of my life.
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: Every day of my life, I get turned on by
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: something and I'm like, this is not good.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: It does not.
• 31:08
  Speaker 4: Matter who you are. When you are my masseuse, I
• 31:16
  Speaker 4: am so turned on in a massage. It doesn't matter
• 31:21
  Speaker 4: who the fuck is rubbing me. Yeah.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: I was watching massage porn last night and all I
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: saw was like a woman and it was a guy
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: and she was like massaging his balls. That was like
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: the pre preview. And I was like, okay, I can
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: get down with this. So we're in it. I'm fucking ready.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: She finally grabs his dick and pulls it like out
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: from under him to massage it very gently.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: Obviously the dick was about this big. I was like,
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: are you kidding me?
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: What was, where were they based in Charleston?
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: It was so, and like, I wanted to take a
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: picture to ask if that's considered a micro penis.
• 31:58
  Speaker 4: It's not.
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: Micros are like this.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: Okay. Well, it was in my book, pretty fucking micro.
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 32:03
  Speaker 4: I was like, this is like, like just the tip
• 32:06
  Speaker 4: of your pinky.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: Do you remember that picture that was going around? It
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: would like come through as like an invite to something
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: and then you would click on it and it was
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: like a guy from the waist down with giant balls
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: and a small wiener.
• 32:18
  Speaker 4: No.
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: Well, it was going around with a crew that I
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: was hanging out with at the time. And I remember
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: my friend showing it to me and me thinking it
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: was my ex.
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: No.
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: That I was still very much with. I was like,
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: oh no, this is not good.
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: It's not good.
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: And now thinking about it, it could be, it could be.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: That someone, he sent one off to someone and they
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: turned it into that.
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: What is that? Like a jump scare?
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: Ever competed with someone over the same person? Of course
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: you have.
• 32:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: The bachelor. That's like pretty much all it is.
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: Oh, true, true.
• 33:00
  Speaker 4: But I didn't like go far enough to do that
• 33:03
  Speaker 4: because I left.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: If I have, I'm not, I'm drawing a blank on
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: who it would, like I usually, if, if I like
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: a dude and someone else who maybe is my friend
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: is expressing interest, I immediately, get turned off and disengage.
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: Cause I'm like, I'm not, I don't, I'm not doing this. I, yeah,
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: I don't like that.
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: Cause I think some people would think me, Charlie competed
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: for Craig.
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: You don't see it that way.
• 33:29
  Speaker 4: I don't see it that way at all.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: I actually really appreciated how open and honest and authentic
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: you were.
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: About how you felt.
• 33:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: I mean, I can't keep my mouth shut.
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with that. Like I'm heller high water.
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: I may look like a fool in the moment. Um,
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: Which I'm not saying that you looked like a fool.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: You most certainly didn't. That was like such a weird
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: situation though.
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: It was so weird. It was weird.
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: Because like him and Charlie weren't even doing anything either.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: I think he maybe made it a big thing in
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: his head. Do you think that Taylor wasn't telling you
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: because in her mind it wasn't a big deal? It
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: was like, this isn't doing it.
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: Charlie.
• 34:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: Not Taylor. Charlie.
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 34:13
  Speaker 4: Because like the whole time we had like a group message,
• 34:17
  Speaker 4: the three of us.
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: That's weird.
• 34:18
  Speaker 4: And then Corey ended up being in it too. And
• 34:21
  Speaker 4: we would all talk and hang out. It was like
• 34:23
  Speaker 4: the four of us. And then they started texting on
• 34:26
  Speaker 4: the side, but usually Charlie would tell me everything.
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: About the guy that she meets. And she just kept
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: the whole thing a secret.
• 34:32
  Speaker 4: So I just felt like she was being a shady friend. Yeah.
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: I would think the same exact thing.
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: So I just kind of, I mean, we don't really
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: talk anymore.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: How did you learn about sex? and like how to
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: do it was it from friends tv i don't know
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: i learned a lot about it through my friends who
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: were a couple years older than me who were sexually
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: active and like good yeah and i was so terrified
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: of it like i had never i had touched one
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: dick before and i remember it like in my hand
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: feeling small and i immediately got like nervous about it
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: so i was like why is it small.
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: So we've always been scared of small dicks over here, okay?
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: But then I feel like my first boyfriend taught me
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: most of the things that I needed to do. And
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: I remember the first time when he was fingering me,
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: the first time that I came.
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: And he was like, what was that?
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: And I was like, I think.
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: So he was a virgin?
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: No, but clearly he had never made a girl come
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: with fingering.
• 35:41
  Speaker 4: Oh.
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: Cause he was like, what was that?
• 35:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: And I was like, I think that it's come.
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: Oh my God. That's funny. Now you will always know
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: if a girl's faking.
• 36:05
  Speaker 4: It on him.
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: 100%.
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: Lala, your kids are still young, but have you thought
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: about when or how you will tell them about sex?
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: Oh Jesus. I have not thought about it.
• 36:16
  Speaker 4: What age do you usually do that?
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: I feel like I, I knew what sex was because
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: my friend and I in elementary school would snoop through
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: her parents' room and they had a very healthy sex life.
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: They had like, she had like a lingerie drawer. They
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: had books that were all about like different positions. So
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: that's when I, kind of, and I think I was young.
• 36:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: Maybe fourth, fifth grade.
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: Oh, geez.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: That's young, right?
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: That's young. How old are you in fifth grade?
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: I think like 11.
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah. That's young.
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 36:54
  Speaker 4: Very.
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: So that's when, but I have not even thought about it. Jeez. I,
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: Ocean will talk about kissing a lot.
• 37:01
  Speaker 4: What do you mean?
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: Like, Mom, if you meet a boy, are you going
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: to kiss them?
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, why is this crossing your mind?
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: I'm like, no, Ocean, I'm going to do a lot
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: more than that, baby. Well, they learn it from the
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: Disney movies, the kissing, I bet.
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's true.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: Because they always have the prince kissing.
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: That's why I prefer Ocean watch the movie Brave.
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: Have you seen that?
• 37:32
  Speaker 4: Seen it yet I need to see that is it
• 37:35
  Speaker 4: good so good I love Scotland yeah that's where that's
• 37:40
  Speaker 4: where this Disney princess is from and they bring in
• 37:42
  Speaker 4: all these princes to marry her off and they have
• 37:45
  Speaker 4: to do like a bow and arrow shooting.
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: Contest and um Myrna is her name she fucking what
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: is it Myrna I think yeah I think that's her
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: name so they're all shooting and then she gets out
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: there and she like does the bow and arrow and
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: then bullseye. And she goes, I'll be fighting for my
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: own hand. She doesn't get married. And I'm like, this
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: is the movie I can get down with. This is
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: the type of Disney princess.
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: Confident. She doesn't want to get married.
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: She fucking wants to just like ride on her horse
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: with her big red curly hair. She wants to be alone.
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: And that's totally fine.
• 38:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: I was more like her.
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: And then how quickly it all changes, right?
• 38:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I'm about to go, after we get off this podcast,
• 38:33
  Speaker 4: I'm about to go psychotic on this man.
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: I mean, like, this is, this is bullshit.
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: I can tell you're in a spiral.
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'm just like, what are you, what are
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: you doing?
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: He's with that girl.
• 38:44
  Speaker 3: You'd never do anything with her.
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of things he would do
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: that you think he wouldn't do.
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: Y'all, he's so good to me.
• 38:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: You want to know who was good to me?
• 38:54
  Speaker 4: My ex.
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: And he was fucking everything in sight.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: Actually?
• 39:01
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: And he wasn't even hot. Like not even a little bit.
• 39:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: And this guy is sexy. That's why I was down
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: for the cause.
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: I'm like, no one's, I'm the only one with a
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: gold heart that would like, let you see me naked.
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: No, no other sane woman would let you see them naked.
• 39:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 39:17
  Speaker 3: What, how did he get all of them?
• 39:20
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: The words.
• 39:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: The words will do it to you. Yeah, women are
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: a sucker for the words. We love a good love bomb.
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: We should send him a sexy text. That's not for him.
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: Do you internet stalk someone before a first date in 2026?
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: Don't we expect this?
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: Internet stalk.
• 39:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: I've gotten a little better at that. I used to
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: just like go to their page and that was the extent.
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: Now it's like, I go to their page. I see
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: who's tagged them. I go to see who's commented. If
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: the same person consistently comments, I go to see if
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: they've fought, if they're following each other, then I go
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: to that page. Then most of the time I have
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: to figure out how to find, here's my deal breaker though.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: If I cannot, if you don't have a video of
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: like your voice or I can't Google you to find
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: like some sort of interview or you talking, I can't
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: risk showing up and having you have a really annoying voice.
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 40:24
  Speaker 4: Right?
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no. You've got a great voice. There are times
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: that I listen to mine and I'm like, oh my God.
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: I hate my voice.
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: You do?
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: It's so sexy.
• 40:36
  Speaker 4: I think that everyone I feel like hates hearing themselves talk.
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: No, there are times that I listen to myself and
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I sound so good today. Then there
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: are days where I'm like, why are we so like
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: throaty and nasally and like valley girl?
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: I don't like that. When I get into that voice,
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: I hate it.
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: Do you have unhinged conversations like we do on the
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: podcast or is it rare? How do you, how do
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: you broach the topic when a good friend is uncomfortable
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: talking about sex? I tend to not attract people who
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: are uncomfortable talking about these things.
• 41:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah. And if they're uncomfortable, I'm just like, okay, well
• 41:17
  Speaker 4: then just listen to.
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: Me talk about it.
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: You make them super comfortable?
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but I'm just like, you don't have to talk
• 41:24
  Speaker 3: about it. Just listen to me.
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: Do you feel judged?
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: Um, okay.
• 41:32
  Speaker 4: So for instance, like when I'm talking about the, like
• 41:35
  Speaker 4: hooking up with ugly guys and it's obviously out there now,
• 41:40
  Speaker 4: some of my friends are like, Sally, What? But they're
• 41:43
  Speaker 4: saying Sally because I'm doing it like I'm talking about
• 41:46
  Speaker 4: it and it's on a podcast.
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: Oh, so they think that like anyone who you fucked
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: is going to go and think like, oh, am I
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: one of the ugly guys that she slept with?
• 41:54
  Speaker 4: But also it's like they they think that it's crazy
• 41:56
  Speaker 4: to hear me say this on like a platform.
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: Oh, like this is no longer just like in the girl.
• 42:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: Like, yes, I get that.
• 42:05
  Speaker 4: Like this is so normal for Sally to talk like this.
• 42:08
  Speaker 4: But the fact that it's online now is crazy for us.
• 42:12
  Speaker 4: Because like, you just don't say some of the shit
• 42:14
  Speaker 4: you say. And that's what you only say in your friends.
• 42:17
  Speaker 4: I'm like, but Lala is my friend.
• 42:24
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: So that's, that'll do donkey for this episode of sex unlocked.
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: You better text us.
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: I will.
• 42:30
  Speaker 4: I will.
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: You must. Thank you guys for listening to another episode.
• 42:34
  Speaker 4: Sally.
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: Good luck with that today. Hope you enjoyed. We'll catch
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: you next week.
• 42:37
  Speaker 4: Bye.
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: Bye guys.