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From Cult Survivor to Empowerment Coach: Learning to Reprogram your Brain · Building the Best You

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I grew up in a cult.
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: My grandmother was a cult leader and I grew up with the belief that there were a group of Satan worshippers that secretly ruled the whole world and that they were chasing us, our family, and that if I ever did anything wrong, I would be instantly found and killed by these Satan worshippers.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: I was told like I went to my mom when I was little and I was like, oh, like my back hurts, like what is that about?
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: I probably was I don't know like seven years old at this point and she's like well, your back hurts because the Satan worshipers kidnapped you and they broke your spine over and over and they put needles into your eyes and that's why your back hurts.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: So this was the explanation for everything in my world growing up, which clearly is not the optimal thing to believe or the way to grow up.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the House of Germar podcast where wellness starts within.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: The House of Germar is a lifestyle brand, empowering women to live all in through interior design and personal wellness.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: We are a destination for women ready to reimagine what is possible in their homes and lives and then create it.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: We are honored to have you join us on our mission to empower 1 million women to live all in.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: I am your host, jean Collins, and I invite you to become inspired by this week's guest.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the House of Jormar podcast where wellness starts within.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: I'm your host, jean Collins, and today's guest is Lydia Knight.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: I am so excited to speak to her.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: She is the founder of the she Center, she's an executive coach, she's an author, she's a speaker and she is really living the balanced wellness life that we are all striving.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: So I am so excited to have her on the show to share her journey, to share how she's helping women, the things that she's doing.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: She has a book coming out, two of them, actually.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: So, lydia, thank you so much for joining the show.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: Oh, jean, it's so wonderful to be here.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: I love your mission and just like the really important things that you talk about, so happy to contribute.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Good to be here.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much, and I am so excited.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: She comes to the show with like the right kind of equipment guys.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: She's got a cool microphone, she's got the good camera, so we are all good to go.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: I am so excited for that.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: It helps us produce a really well looking episode for YouTube.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: So thank you for coming to the show.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: So prepare so before we get started into what you do and the she Center and all of that, I would love if you would share a little bit about background, about yourself, your career journey, how you got where you are.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: I find our stories are what really help inspire women, that no one's path is linear and we all come from lots of different backgrounds to get to where we are today.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: So would you mind giving a little bit of background about you, who you are, where you came from and how you got to be where you are today?
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: Oh yes, absolutely so.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: First, disclaimer this has a happy ending, because I know I have like a weird and bizarre and dark background, so, just know, has a really happy ending.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: The value of authenticity is something so important, something that we talk about and is so important in women's lives.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: So I want to model that and I'll dive in with that.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: I grew up in a cult.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: My grandmother was a cult leader and I grew up with the belief that there were a group of Satan worshipers that secretly ruled the whole world and that they were chasing us, our family, and that if I ever did anything wrong, I would be instantly found and killed by these Satan worshipers.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: I was told like I went to my mom when I was little and I was like, oh, like, my back hurts, like what is that about?
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: I probably was I don't know like seven years old at this point and she's like well, your back hurts because the Satan worshipers kidnapped you and they broke your spine over and over and they put needles into your eyes and that's why your back hurts.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: So this was the explanation for everything in my world growing up, which clearly is not the optimal thing to believe or the way to grow up, and it's such a great illustration of how our stories that we tell ourself or that we believe from others can absolutely rule our emotional world and our life, and that did for most of my life.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: I didn't leave that cult until I was an adult and had a daughter of my own, so this was a long standing thing, and when you're in isolation and not telling other people about your story, then it's a bit of this echo chamber.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: And so when I found out it wasn't true and when I decided to leave that cult, by that time I'd also developed a really awful, life-threatening eating disorder and I created a set of principles based off of neuroscience to be able to leave the cult, to deprogram from the things that were like ruling my emotional world and like my success and limiting me in so many ways.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: And it worked like it worked really, really well.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: And then I was able to apply those same principles to ending an eating disorder, because I tried everything over the years.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: And I I was able to apply those same principles to ending an eating disorder because I tried everything over the years and I was like how, if nothing works, like what am I going to do?
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: I don't want to live this way and I thought I wonder if I can deprogram from an eating disorder like I deprogrammed from the cult that I grew up in, and it also worked really well.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: After years and a week I was completely free of that.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: So our mission is we show women how to have a relationship with their brains where they never have their past polluting their future and where they get to design their lives intentionally.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: So that's the quick story of the bizarre background, but that's where we are at today.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: Wow, okay, occult.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: So let me back up into that story just a little bit.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: I mean, if you're in a cult, essentially you are almost brainwashed, I want to say, to believe certain things, because that's all you know, is what they tell you, and those things are so extreme and so I want to say ridiculous.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: You know you weren't taken away by Satan and all these things happening.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: If you're back hurt.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: But how, how did you find neuroscience, like, how did you even get exposed to a concept of something that could even make you think for a minute that you could change the path against Satan, if that was how you were ingrained to think Great?
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: question and the power of education is so important.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: So I went from being very isolated.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: I grew up Mormon as well and so I went to the Mormon-owned university and, even though it was still very much indoctrinated, with limited principles, I went into psychology and I started learning about things like false memories.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: And I started learning about things like false memories and I started learning about neuroscience principles and how the brain worked, and it was something that I felt really drawn to and I started playing with and practicing with how I could feel differently about how I'd grown up being taught this story.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: So this is something that everyone has an experience where you intellectually know something Like you know what's good for you, you know what's healthy for you, you know what to say and not to say.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: And then there's the thing that you actually do and how you actually feel about it, how we feel is going to drive our choices way more than what we intellectually know.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: So even when I had gotten the clues that this wasn't true and had removed myself from that cult experience, I intellectually knew it wasn't true, but my body, my nervous system, emotionally, I was still being driven by the fear that I was taught to grow up with.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: When I understood that what fires together wires together you know Hebb's law, how neuroscience works then I started finding ways and principles of how the brain worked to align my nervous system, my body, with what I intellectually knew.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: And so that was my story.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: But then what really refined these principles was seeing this work in so many other women's lives.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: So there's nothing like doing it, there's nothing like living it.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: You can study it all day long, but the doing it is where we've really refined those principles.
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: Wow, Okay, so your business.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: I'm going to fast forward a little here.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: The she Center where did that come from?
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: Yes, we started ending eating disorders and that's still what we do.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: We've helped over a thousand women to end their eating disorders and what happened is we had all of these incredibly successful women come to us and we're like I have had so much success in every other area of life and for some reason I can't figure out food Like it should be something so simple that I'm overeating, I'm binge eating, and they're so frustrated.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: So in about five, eight weeks, this thing that they had spent decades trying to fix was just fixed, like they didn't have an eating disorder anymore.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: So they started asking I mean, this is the most powerful thing I've ever done in my life.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: What else can this apply to?
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: So, that's when we started our executive coaching and we started applying the principles to communication and to being able to influence those around you and navigate things with family, and we had incredible, incredible results in all of these different areas.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: And what we really have found and what we like the core that the she Center is built on, is every problem in the world essentially is because, at its core, the missing influence of women.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: And we're here to restore that influence, that wisdom, that decision-making, that leadership of women to the world.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: And one of the best ways that we can do that on a global scale, on a community scale, is for women to understand how to have a relationship with their brains where the programming, the messages, the limiting beliefs that they've been given don't have any power in their lives anymore.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: So that's how that evolved.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: We started with fixing one big problem and then realized that the tool is very powerful in other ways, and that's where the she Center evolved to which is so powerful.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: Really, it's like you're teaching you know.
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: It's like this the whole adage of like you know, you teach someone how to cook.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: You teach someone how to fish, they'll be able to eat for a lifetime.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: I'm sort of mutilating that, but you get the point You're teaching them tools that they can then apply across any area of life as issues arise, across those areas of life.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Because I think part of what you found in your journey, as I heard you, is you think that you are stumbling with a limiting belief on one thing and think like I solved that, okay, like I'm good.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: And then it could be two years later and oh, that limiting belief is back, but in a slightly different way, with a slightly different twist, in a slightly different part of life.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely and to have the foundational principles and tools of how we work with ourselves, how we work with our brains.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: Our whole life is lived through our own brain and so when we know how to work with that, it's like the principle behind the principle behind the principles, Like when you can get to the core of something, it's the most useful thing.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: So how are you teaching people Like, if people, if someone reaches out to you like, what does that journey look like for them?
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: The first foundational piece is to have community, to have people who get it, to have people that are resonating with your story.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: So we have an incredible community that we've built over the years, and joining that community and being able to access that education and resources the real transformational kind of education where you're understanding how the brain works and where you're understanding how to navigate your emotions.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: So it starts with learning and there's this beautiful waking up process that happens where you have community and where you have that content, that you start seeing life in a new way and having an expanded possibility for your own life.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: And then what really creates the most transformation is the coaching piece.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: That's been my life's work, you know, and we have an incredible team you know the last 14 years now and the coaching where you have someone who is an expert at seeing your blind spots and seeing outside of what you can see.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: Our brains are very motivated to stay the same, and so our brains will really fight resistance.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: It's like, oh, I know what I should do, but it sort of feels so scary to change, like, yeah, your brain is doing what it does and so bringing down that resistance and helping your brain feel comfortable to show you what's actually going to make the biggest, like moving the needle in your life.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: Oftentimes your brain will hide from you because it's the key to your transformation.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: So having someone who gets it and who is an expert at knowing how the brain works and knowing how your brain works and your patterns.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: So the coaching, the content in the community.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: So we have live events, but we also have mostly our connection virtually all over the world where we come together in that community.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: So as women, we're all busy and having a community content, coaching that fits around, like your life and what you're building, we found is really important.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: So that's why we do it that way.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: Interesting.
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: So do you do one-on-one coaching in addition to group coaching?
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: Everything?
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: we do is based off of what is most effective.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: So we find that one-on-one coaching is not as effective as coaching in a group, because one question is everyone's question and because of how the brain works mirror neurons, where you actually have an experience like someone else is having as you witness it.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: So it really expedites healing and improvement and unleashing potential when you can see other women wake up as well.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: So we find that group coaching is the most effective and that's why we do it that way and we have that in multiple different levels for different things.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: But that's the process the feedback adjust of what actually works best in real life.
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: Right, Interesting, that's really cool and you're learning from others.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: We all learn from each other's stories and get empowered and see, you know, sometimes other people are mirrors to ourselves.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: So sometimes you might think, oh, that's not my issue.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: But then you or someone else describe it.
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: You're like oh huh, that actually does sound like me.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: It totally is.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: That is.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: That actually is me.
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: I didn't think that was me, but that actually sounds a lot like me.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: So how do most people find you Like?
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: How are they becoming aware of your organization and what you do?
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: So wonderful connection like this.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: It's amazing to have conversations like this here on podcasts.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: People find us through our social media.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: It's been really interesting to see how many people have been interested in the story of how I grew up and are interested in cults and they'll find that story and they'll be like, oh okay, this led to something really cool and then they'll explore more.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: So our website, social media, podcasts.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: I think and I honestly believe and I've seen this over and over that when you have a mission and an answer that someone needs, the right people find you Like.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: We have.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: So many clients are like I don't even know how I found you and you are exactly what I needed.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: So I think there's also like an energetic pull where we find the solutions that we need.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: I think that everyone listening to this right now is listening to it for a reason.
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: Yes, oh, I agree.
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and when you open yourself up and just pay a little bit of attention to the thing that came across your desk or that you heard, or that you saw or that you read, and if it makes you pause, maybe pay attention to that pause and maybe that's the universe telling you something and maybe you need to take at least a baby step of action in terms of researching it and seeing how your heart feels about it as you look into it, as opposed to just moving on with your day, which is the easier thing to do.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: So talk to me about your books.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: So I think this is a great example of the power of authenticity, again like having a community where you can be authentic sharing your story, having a community where you can be authentic sharing your story.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: So, jean, I didn't share the story of how I grew up for a really long time In fact, there is a double memoir that was already written.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: So it was the story of me growing up in a cult and my dad looking for his children for 25 years when we were kidnapped away as toddlers five years when we were kidnapped away as like toddlers and it's this really beautiful story.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: And it just sat there for years because it's just too weird, like people aren't going to care, but it felt like an important story to be told.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: And then, I mean, I actually had a good friend pass away and I started looking at my life differently and what I was waiting on and what was sitting on the shelf, and I just decided to start sharing the story and so I opened up TikTok.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: I made a totally new personal account that nobody would care about, nobody would see, it would just be me telling the story and it blew up.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: We just had viral videos over and over and over and it was such a beautiful community that came together.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: So shout out to all my honest story time friends on TikTok.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: But it was interesting to see how many people were interested in that story.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh okay, well, everyone is asking when is the book coming out?
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: Are you going to write a book?
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: I was like, actually it's already written, so here.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: So that's already written, that's going to be out very soon.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: And then we have an incredible book called oh.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: So that book is called Split, the Double Memoir.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: And then we have a book coming out later in the year called Thought Leader.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: That is about how our thoughts drive our actions, drive our results and how to really transform at the key and the core of changing our brains.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: So it's the principles that we've taught over the last 14 years personally with clients, and we just want the whole world to have these principles.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: So that book, thought Leader, will be coming out later in the year.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: That's so exciting.
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: So what else do you want to do with your business?
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: Because it sounds like you're doing a lot, but I feel like someone like you has large goals and wants to have a large impact.
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: What else is kind of out there that you're thinking?
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: about.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: They're not even sure how it's going to happen, but this is the vision happening Now.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: We do live events.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: They're incredible, like immersive events, taking healing from like decades to days.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: Something that's just come up over and over is this feeling like there's going to be something we're doing where we're building local communities of women that can come together and support and teach each other and really build in a grassroots way to change the world we live in, to have it be the world that we want to live in.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: And I think a lot of women, people in general but I think the power of women is so incredible.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: They're waking up and they're getting into action and they're wanting to know what can we do and what can we do together and what's happening in the world right now.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of hard, scary things happening and what we're seeing is these are symptoms of what's called an extinction burst.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: Essentially, an old system that wasn't good for anyone, except maybe a select few, is going away and we're going to be building something new together.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: So we have a vision of being part, of mobilizing women and bringing them together and helping them to have the principles to center themselves but then also to really make an impact in their community, so I don't even know what all that is going to look like.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: I think it starts with the online communities that we have, but that's the sense that is coming to me now.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: It's the heart-driven mission, and I love that you said you don't know how it's going to look, because I think if you took yourself back 10 years ago, you would never have been able to envision where you are today.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: And that's one of the beautiful things that we have to share in our stories is that you don't have to know.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: You don't have to know how you're going to get there.
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: If you have a passion and a calling and it's heart-driven and you are working on yourself and your inner wellness, it will come to you as it is meant to come to you and unfold as it's meant to unfold.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: That is beautiful wisdom and I love how you said the 10 years.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: Just yesterday I had a friend say.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: Yesterday I had a friend say would you have ever predicted this 10 years ago?
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: And I love my life and I love the life we get to help other women create.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: And 10 years ago was the time that I was leaving the cult I grew up in.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: I left the Mormon church, I divorced an abusive husband, I ended my eating disorder.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: That all happened just within the space of a couple of years.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: It was a huge transformation.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: And I just realized yesterday when my friend was like what were you doing 10 years ago?
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: I'm like whoa 10 years ago was like that yeah, and you weren't on Facebook then to remind you and say this was you 10 years ago then and now I can't imagine social media was part of the cult.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: No, that was.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: I'm a little too old for that.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: It probably would have been if I was younger.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: What a really cool journey.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: So I would love to talk about wellness for a couple minutes, because I believe that people that are missiondriven messengers and really have a calling and really want to do good in the world very often care a lot about their inner wellness and their inner peace and balance within their own lives, so that they can be role models for others.
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: So I would love if you would share a little bit about what inner wellness looks like in your life.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: Yes, in your life, yes.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: So there are two main things that we oftentimes come back to in our executive coaching, which is internal freedom and internal peace, and that really being the root of wellness.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: So that internal peace is when you have those quiet moments, when it's just you and your own thoughts.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: Is it a beautiful and nourishing and kind experience?
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: Or is there an inner critic beating you up and you're cycling through your to-dos?
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: And nourishing and kind experience?
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: Or is there an inner critic beating you up and you're cycling through your to-dos and you're not good enough?
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: So the internal piece where those quiet moments are ones you look forward to and that you love, that's what we aspire to.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: And then the internal freedom is the knowing that you are the captain of your own ship and you're able to change your life.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: So when you see something you wanna create, you know how to create it.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: You have the support, you're investing in yourself, you're taking the action and the hope and the joy that comes with the freedom to know that you can set your sights on something and create it in an energy that is peaceful.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: So it all feeds back with each other.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: So I would say that inner freedom and peace is what that wellness really.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: Oh, so much.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: I say to people all the time.
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: So I love, first of all.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: I love that you said inner peace, because I talk to people all the time about.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: You know your goal should never be happiness, because what is happiness, you know, and that ebbs and flows, where if you can find a place of inner peace, then you are equipped to handle whatever will happen in life, because there will be things that happen in life that are not happy, that are not pleasant, but that is part of life.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: You can't shield yourself from anything that's unhappy and so if you can have inner peace, that just equips you to stay in a very grounded I don't want to use the word peace again but peaceful place to be able to handle what life is kind of throwing your way.
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: So I love that you use the word peace, because I think that is really incredibly important.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah it's beautiful wisdom.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: One way we talk about it is like notes on a piano, like our emotions right, like you want all of the notes to have the music that you create.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: And there's ways to find peace in any of those emotions, in deep sadness there's a beauty to that and in fun and joy and playfulness.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: That's more of an inherent thing that we're like, oh, more of this.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: But you can find that peace in the different quality and the diversity of all the different experiences that we have as human beings.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: It's beautiful wisdom, thank you.
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's important, as you mentioned what we deem as negative emotions.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: All the time you need them all and it's, you know, learning how to live with things like anger and sadness and depression and disappointment.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: Those are all emotions that exist for everyone and the goal should not be to just never have those emotions.
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: It's part of the whole equation.
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: Just like you mentioned, the piano analogy is a really good one.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: So giving people the tools to be able to handle all of those emotions is a really powerful gift.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: So what does wellness look like in your day-to-day life?
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: What are you doing for yourself personally to try to have that peace and that wellness and that balance I mean?
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: something that I continue to remind myself of.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: I feel like it's the lesson that needs to be learned again every day for probably all of us is that what you're creating in the world is so much about taking care of you and you centering yourself and you taking that time, and we can oftentimes get into a place of force and there are amazing results that come from that.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: I used to regularly work 90-hour weeks and never have time off, and amazing things came from that, but not nearly as amazing as creating from a place of truly being centered.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: So coming back to that center and centering ourselves For myself, that is a meditation practice and that can look like different things, but having a meditation practice where you are practicing being still and you're giving your brain that time for stillness, having sunlight and being in nature, is an incredible tool, and one aspect of that that I think is so powerful is that nature has an incredible abundance mentality.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: Like you go out and you see during the summer, I see the rose bushes and I'm like it's like a lot of roses bush, like, if you need, like, roses on top of roses on top of roses, but there's such an abundance that nature has and it's a very good reminder for us and to be out in what we are because we are nature as well.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: So a meditation practice, being out in nature and having ways and time that is set aside for us to sort out our own thoughts, whether that's journaling them out or being able to talk to someone who is trusted, being able to tell our story, that connection and sharing what is inside of us and being able to get it outside somehow.
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: Our principles, that continually, are what I go back to, what our community goes back to, and it's those simple things that don't sound like the one crazy trick too, but those aren't the things that last right.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: It's the deep breaths, it's the meditation, those are the things that create who we are.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: Long-term, it compounds.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: So if someone is listening or watching this on YouTube and they're thinking to themselves hmm, I kind of feel like I need a community Aside from you know, joining your organization.
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: What would you suggest to someone who is sort of feeling like I need to find a community or I need to find a tribe of people that might help lift me up?
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: What advice would you give to them about how to go about doing that?
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: Because I would assume that you had to start doing that from scratch.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: Yep, absolutely.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: There's nothing like being in action.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: So often we'll get into a pattern of perfectionism where we're like I need to find my people and find my tribe and I'm going to read books about it and I'm going to think about it and I'm going to write my mission statement.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: Like we start, like putting all these tasks in our way, and it is incredible.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: I'll give you a quick example.
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: So I had a goal where I'm like you know what?
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: I have a community, I have good people, but I want more like local friends.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: I want like people that I could like hug for real.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: Because we live in this beautiful virtual world, which is great too I'm like I want some more local friends and sometimes just the being in action and the following.
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: Your intuition is really powerful.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: I was moving through grief.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: I had had someone close to me pass away and it was just one of those like I don't want to see anyone, I'm just going to like curl up at home for a while.
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: And there was a conference that was here locally in Santa Fe, and I had the intuition to like get up and get dressed and go and intellectually I was like I don't want to do this, but I just felt that intuitive pull and I went, I sat down and this woman came and sat next to me and we started talking and she was one of the most like, energetically aligned, connected people I've met in so long.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: In so long and she has been this beautiful hub of introducing me to all of these other people that are so aligned.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: Right, because if you find someone that's aligned, they probably know other people like that and they're very specific sort of step-by-step ways that you can find a community.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: But I find it's more effective to be in action, actually let people see your true, authentic self, because that's how you're going to find your people.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: And to be in action, following that intuition and just going out, saying yes to things, because it's always just a little easier to say no, to stay at home, but when we say yes to things we get to see that magic happen.
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: So I think building community has a lot to do with following that and being in our authenticity.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: I like that example that and being in our authenticity.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: I like that example.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: I often say to people that I am an incredibly introverted person, living an extroverted life and having to I can, as you're describing your story of you know, going to the event but not really wanting to go to the event, I'm like, oh, that is me every time, you know.
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: It's like I would so much rather stay home in my pajamas or just not get dressed or not have to go to this networking event where I don't know anyone.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: And a couple of years ago I had a business coach who was like just go to the event with a goal of meeting one person that you don't know, that you would maybe like to have coffee with that, you would maybe like to get to know better, and that's it.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: Just one person, just meet one person.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: And if you've met your one person, you can then give yourself permission to leave if you decide that like that's it, you know, like that can be your out.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: So I've started doing that and I actually went and did an event last night with a woman that I know that I've actually become really fairly good friends with, as a result of going to an event exactly like that and having that goal of meeting one person and I met this one person and we had to talk to a stranger about our overall mission in life and we actually had the same exact mission, like almost worded the same way.
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: It was really crazy and to your point I was like, oh wow, like-minded people know like-minded people, like she happens to know a lot of like-minded people that I've also gotten connected with baby steps, like baby steps towards finding that community in person and giving yourself the grace to be patient with how it happens too.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: So I'll tell you something so funny Our family has.
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: We have a family of mostly introverts, so I totally feel you there living an extroverted life and we have a completely made up word in our family.
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: It's spundy trifle, and spundy trifle is the language that we can use with each other, which is the plans that we have tonight.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: We totally want to cancel we totally don't want to go, but we know that afterward we're going to be so happy that we went, so we'll just go around and be like I've totally got a spundy trifle about tonight and we're like, yep, feel ya, but it's like we're going anyway.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: So language is powerful.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: Feel free to borrow our ridiculous made up word.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: I like that, though.
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: I like that You're taking control back by having a word.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: You're giving it some something, but not giving it all this power.
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: I like that.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: Okay, so is there anything about your business or about you or about your journey that I did not touch on that you think is really important to share with the audience?
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's great.
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: I would say that, in understanding how to work with your brain, one of the most powerful things that you can know is that your brain pays attention to action, and so, as you're listening to this, you might be feeling something.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: You're going to feel some intuitive pull and just take a moment and listen to that.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: It might be to reach out to someone.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: It might be to go to some activity, say yes to something.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: It might be to go and find a resource or hear more of the stories we've been talking about, notice what is coming up for you intuitively and understand that one of the best things that you can do in creating the brain that you want, which, in turn, creates the life that you want, is to take action on that without hesitation.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: So, even if you have to like pause real quick and do the thing, if even you say before I put my head on the pillow tonight, I'm going to act on that, it's not about the thing that you do being some magic.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: It's about the message that you're sending to yourself being the magic because, without hesitation, you have acted on what you feel drawn toward.
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: And I love that we all talk about in the manifestation world.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: You can't just put it out there and expect that it's going to come.
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: You have to have some form of inspired action and even if those are just baby little stabs, breadcrumbs on the ground, sit toward what you want.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: But you don't just like put out there that you want it and just sit back and expect that the universe is going to deliver.
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: You need, you need action.
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: So I'm so glad that you explained that and I love the way you did describe that.
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: So action good and it doesn't need to be huge.
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: People think like, oh, I need to have done all these huge things.
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: Start a, write a book, start a business, do all these big things, start small.
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: You won't do the big actions unless you're doing the small actions.
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: You won't.
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: Don't say I want to lose a hundred pounds.
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: That's not going to be.
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: It Like set out to go for a walk for 10 minutes every day or be in nature every day for 10 or 15 minutes and start there and then you will build up to other things.
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: So start small.
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, our community starts with two minute meditations and for many people who haven't meditated before, that is a lot.
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: I remember the first time I meditated I tried to do it maybe six minutes and I was like I can't do this.
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: I can't do this.
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: I can't do this.
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: This is terrible.
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: My brain's all over the place.
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: I'm like, look at my watch, like, is it over, is it over, is it over?
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: And then I set a timer.
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: I'm like is it over?
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: Of course the timer's going to go off when it's over.
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: It's not over.
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: It was awful, but now I meditate every day and it's such a powerful part of my life and I miss it and I can do it anywhere, anytime.
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: So it's a practice.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: It is, but one that's worth investigating.
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: Okay, so, before we went out of time and thank you so much for your time I always love to ask my guests to recommend a book other than their own, which will obviously be in the show notes, and by the time this comes out, your memoir will be out.
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: So I always ask my guests to recommend a book that impacted them personally or professionally that they would recommend to the listener.
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: So what book would you like to recommend?
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: So I'll give you an easy and advanced version, right?
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: So I would say, if you're just sort of starting into these principles, the Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown is phenomenal.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: Like that's a good wake up book, that's a good like all right, I'm feeling inspired about how to be my authentic self and live that way and then for really that deep inner freedom and peace like we talk about.
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: This is a book that we study in the whole second year of our executive coaching because of the depth of what's there.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: It's one of the best set of principles of really explaining why we're here and how to navigate this beautiful soul and brain of ours and that is the Untethered Soul by Michael Singer Great book, yes.
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: Yes, and deep, deep book.
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: Take your time reading it, but it comes up a lot on this show.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: Actually, a lot of my guests have recommended that, so it's definitely a repeat of a very popular, powerful book.
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: So thank you for mentioning that.
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: And Brene Brown I always love her books.
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: There's there's a lot of wisdom there and she writes in a way that's very easy to understand.
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: So thank you, those are both great recommendations.
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: It's been such a pleasure to meet you.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: I'm going to put everything in the show notes about you and your book and the she Center.
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: I think it's just really fascinating.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: You're on such a big mission to really empower women and I commend you for that.
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: And I commend you for your energy and for making the time to share your wisdom and your story with our audience.
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: So thank you so much.
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: It's wonderful being on.
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Jean, for the incredible message you're putting into the world.
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: And yeah, the power of women creating intentional lives is what greater power is there Exactly.
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much and we'll definitely stay connected.
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: Have a great day everybody.
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: Thank you for joining us for another episode of the House of Jermar podcast, where wellness starts within.
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: We appreciate you being a part of our community and hope you felt inspired and motivated by our guest.
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: If you enjoyed this episode, please write us a review and share it with friends.
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: Building our reach on YouTube and Apple podcasts will help us get closer to our mission to empower 1 million women to live all in.
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: You can also follow us on Instagram at House of Jermar and sign up to be a part of our monthly inspiration newsletter through our website, houseofjermarcom.
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: If you or someone you know would be a good guest on the show, please reach out to us at podcast at houseofjermarcom.
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: This has been a House of Jermar production with your host, jean Collins.
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: Thank you for joining our house.