Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just-The Power of Tone: Prioritizing Spiritual Growth 7.23.25

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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just-The Power of Tone: Prioritizing Spiritual Growth 7.23.25 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  Be sure, sure it means as you smear the king to Sanibago, be
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  sure literally it means abstaining, holding back.
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  So he said OK, fine. So a person obtains from
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  starting on the earth not to overdo it.
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  A person can enjoy themselves. We learned that fine.
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  Now the second that I play shoot, which it just brings the
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  heading to over here at 291. The second of three is to be
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  Paresh and dinim, which means a person to be actually careful
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  when it comes to halacha. What does this concept meanings
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  and details as you explain it means if if they have a choice,
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  should I be in machmesh or not be in to be a poet is someone
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  that's not going to be strict. Logically, a person can argue
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  this whole entire concept of having the entire idea of
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  extremity. It's something that doesn't
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  really make sense. It's either yes or no, right?
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  Wrong. It should be that open shot
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  entire world should be very clear.
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  Is it legal or is it illegal? That's all it should matter.
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  What is the idea behind Schenze? So I don't know.
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  I don't know the theme behind it, but he's telling you one of
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  the ways of being a poor person, being extra careful is a person
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  who doesn't always adapt every leniency.
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  He actually sometimes keeps a Mohammed opinion.
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  Now it's some examples are extreme, which means to go in an
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  opinion. That's a not the common way of
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  thinking just because it's strict.
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  It's a little extra but the mindset is to be Mahmir is
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  considered to be a person who's extreme control or she careful,
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  let's call it when it comes to halacha.
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  Let's read the words inside or try to understand what the theme
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  is. The pre should be the name
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  Mullah Hamid Baham Tami. To be a porridge to be a careful
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  person when it comes to laws is to be strict to be careful to
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  consider even the grown opinion by Mahlucket when it comes to an
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  argument in town more than as long as his opinion makes sense.
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  Felish and Alakamoto to be careful the opinion who may not
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  be even unlikely the accepted opinion, but he's something over
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  tonight. Be careful to allow the hona
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  going with him to end up leading to have you know certain areas
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  of leniency in other areas. For example, he gave an example
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  if a person wants to know and something comes to mind, person
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  wants to be extra my community in a certain area and because of
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  that. Yesterday.
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  You said Aduba gave an example that was the Aduba neutral.
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  I'm exactly any example something with a person going to
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  miss class. Let's say a random example, you
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  can miss class because he'd be extra strict.
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  Let's say a person buy a meal and he's waiting for Simon.
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  He has he has to leave before you make his Simon.
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  Once you're part of the meal, you can't leave for his.
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  But he was smart enough when he first washed to have in mind
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  that he's not joining the meal. If you do that, you don't need
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  to be. You don't need to take part in
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  the zoomo. So now, yeah, I didn't mind.
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  But now, at the end of the meal, he's nervous.
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  Should I leave Sharon? I'll leave.
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  Maybe I should leave a Zimo. Maybe it's wrong what I'm doing.
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  Maybe it's OK. And he's debating if he should
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  leave and he's going to a class, so he's going to be Mahmir and
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  himself to make himself a stay because it's afraid that he
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  might need to be part of Zimo. He's not sure, even though he
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  did the right thing already and by staying he's going to miss
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  out on learning. All right, this is a very, it's
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  a weird example, but it's a very common issue that people have.
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  Is it the mahmir of different areas?
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  And it costs them the ability to flow when it comes to tuara
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  mitzvah because they're over careful.
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  Being over mahmir can often lead to being over.
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  Being over careful here will be over destructive in other areas.
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  I just got to be careful. All right, fine.
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  But overall the theme and the mindset of being a Mahmir person
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  is something that's going to sit extra, but also being defined as
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  a parish UL ahmir bissefikot to be careful when it comes to
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  situations of doubt. I feel the makom shave charla
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  kilbaim even if situation they able to be lenient.
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  This is all part of Prishit. Hey then if she lo me tomorrow,
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  I would never allow my soul to be complete, would not eat from
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  a food that was even debatable. Even if the food was simply
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  brought to the rabbi to the side.
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  If it's kosher or not and the rabbi said it's OK, he would say
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  OK it's not good for me. But the haldi made beside the
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  cost cost. I will not eat from the stern
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  type of meat that the rabbi had to say to people, had to say
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  slaughter real quickly. It's going to die.
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  Otherwise that's that's risky meat.
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  I wouldn't eat from it. Why not?
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  Because I don't want to get close to questionable stuff.
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  There's this just with that, you mean the moment Ahmed, he going
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  to be the average person that can follow it and they're going
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  to get, you know, by the wayside, OK.
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  So first of all, there's definitely a concept that's for
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  the select few #1 as we got more lives to analyze this, Vena
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  calls them without them. And I think about that.
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  We're talking about things that are allowed, Ella, Eid, Ahmir al
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  nashir. We're talking about a person
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  being actually Mahmir himself. OK, is what he says.
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  I'll get the more examples in a minute, but just to get to the
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  theme, what is the theme of this idea where a person is being
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  Mahmir? The whole concept and the entire
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  of being strict. What is this theme?
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  Why do I need? Why is there even a path of
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  being Mahmir is Halaha? And that's it.
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  You know, you'll notice the most halachic people, or I say most
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  halachic, I mean say the people who learn how all day, the
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  people who are busy with halacha questions all day, Those type
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  oftentimes are the most lenient. Very often they can show you a
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  leniency that would shock you. You notice that or let's say the
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  more let's say regular learner type, right, people are saying
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  learning yeshiva all day, oftentimes Amor mahmir.
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  I'm not saying it's a positive or negative.
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  Or better not to. Or better not to theme.
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  I'm not saying this is a positive negative at all.
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  I don't know either way. But my question is why is it
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  that there's even a family of what is he telling you over
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  here? By telling you to be Podesh, to
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  be a person who's in control, we're calling this person to be
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  abstains. Also applies to being Mahmir in
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  areas that others are leaning. I'll give you the classic lines,
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  like better not to his line tavola as the line we mentioned
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  yesterday, or bound their fish. A person wants to be extra
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  careful. He wants to be careful for his
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  soul. He's going to avoid it.
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  To the yes or no according to the law.
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  If I tell you in the laws of business, American law doesn't
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  really like that loophole when it comes to taxes, do you care?
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  I don't care, all right? If it's allowed, it's allowed.
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  So why is it when it comes to these areas of halacha, Gray
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  areas is a thing? Exactly why is there a theme of
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  being Mahmir? Why is it seemingly rewarded or
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  at least respected to be a porridge to be Mahmir at least
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  sometimes? What's idea?
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  I'll tell you my theme. I don't know if this is the
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  case, but I'll tell you the theme.
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  My theme is the reason home will not play any role, even if
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  they're not necessary is because they indicate where your heads
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  are sometimes, which means if a person is careful.
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  Let's play this out in real life.
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  Take that idea of germs. All right, If you have
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  something. Are you not sure?
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  I said this example yesterday. He had this cup in front of you,
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  this cup of lemonade, let's say. I don't know if so, if you
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  drink, no offense you, Sammy, I'm not sure if you're drinking
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  right. I'm not going to drink it.
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  What if I really know you didn't drink?
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  I don't even see any mouth marks.
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  I'm still like a little bit afraid I'm still not drinking it
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  right. Why?
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  Because my mechanism of hygiene, I made-up mechanism of hygiene,
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  makes me extra wary and extra careful from things that I may
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  at all be in my mind saying I want to keep away from just the
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  way it is. Right.
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  What about adding to the Torah? Taking away.
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  So that to that true, but the theme first, the tone of being a
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  machmere is a person who's extra wary of tripping up.
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  He's extra careful of going down the wrong Rd.
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  He's extra afraid. Let's say a person wants to
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  know. Let's say, you know, you're not
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  sure you can go to a certain place.
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  You're not sure if you can see something inappropriate.
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  It's not humra. I'm not sure I'm going to see
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  something inappropriate. I don't know.
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  I'm gonna go to the beach that day.
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  There's a chance it's 10:00 in the morning.
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  There's nobody in the beach 10:00 in the morning.
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  I don't think I would see anything.
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  But if, let's say, you know, to use a teal example, let's say I
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  gave you, I told you, you know, lose $2000 if you see something
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  inappropriate, right? You're going to avoid the beach
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  at 10 AM Why? Because there's a chance.
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  So that head is the head of a mahmir, which means that head is
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  someone who wants to avoid going down the path of something that
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  might be wrong. Now, one second where the Allah
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  is that it's allowed. There is nothing wrong there.
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  You're right, that's technically speaking true.
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  If the Allah is that that food is allowed and there is no way
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  in the world, no possibility at all they're doing anything
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  wrong. Yes, but the tone is still a
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  tone of allowing things that we know shouldn't happen.
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  That's the tone. And so the idea of being in
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  Mahmir is being a person more important than the theme itself,
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  more important than the actual application is the theme is a
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  tone. You have a tone that says I'd
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  like to avoid tripping up. I don't want to make so many
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  mistakes. So now, if I allow this is
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  reality, I know this to be a fact.
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  I don't want to disparage anybody, but I know it to be a
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  fact that if a person is always finding the loophole in, they
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  end up doing things that are wrong also.
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  I'll tell you why. Here's the theme.
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  If you always find a loophole and that means you need
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  everything to always work out. I've said this before, discussed
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  this. If the guys every single Shabbat
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  meal of your life has been warm, hot food.
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  No matter what, every single level, no matter what, whether
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  you're on vacation, whether you were stuck somewhere, whether it
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  was there was a power outage, every single Shabbat meal of
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  your life had warm, hot food. You know what's going to happen.
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  And no matter what, you're going to figure out a way.
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  And that means finding the heck the leniency upon the leniency.
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  Find the Goya upon the Goya upon a funny situation.
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  You're going to make it happen. Why?
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  Because you get too dependent on the outcome and too lacking in
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  focusing on the process. Being a person who was at least
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  careful about whom not not always mocked me here
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  application today is being a person who who's cognizant of
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  the whom not who knows. Yet you have the bulls on you.
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  Want to pave the round? Exactly, that's the issue.
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  The issue is, is that when we overly depend on leniencies and
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  really, I've said it so many times, you know, they say this
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  and hold me down too. A person never had a situation,
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  never ever had a situation that they were told that she might be
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  Nidal and that color is not a good color, whatever it is.
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  And that person really is basically a person who says it's
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  always a lot. I just need to figure out a way
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  how to get there. If that's your mindset, then
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  really Aloha is not at all a part of our life.
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  It's just something I have to check and address before I get
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  to my results. Is there a difference between
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  Torah law and like a rabbinical? Well, obviously able to.
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  Well, the truth is you're able to, you're able to apply more
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  leniency when it comes to dynamic nonce.
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  Sure. Is this theme different by the
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  writers? I don't think so, because I
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  think the theme, even it's Minaghim, the theme, is a theme
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  that says I'm either wary of doing what's right, or I'm more
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  focused on the outcome and less busy with the process.
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  Like Pesach, more people are because it's like they wouldn't
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  performance, but during the year they'll lead on kosher.
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  Good. So there is a thing to that.
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  Even though it sounds crazy, there is somewhat of a thing to
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  that, not to that to do that, but there is a theme that when
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  the Torah giving you such heavy punishments and comes to pesar
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  indicated that Torah wants us to put more focus in this theme, in
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  this idea because the pesar. But the overall mindset is
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  something that's across the entire Torah.
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  And you can see people that take two different paths.
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  There are people that find every leniency that's known to man.
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  And then there are people, I'm not going to go to the other
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  extreme or extra mahmir. That's not necessary for all of
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  us, but just simply the idea of being wary of what the halacha
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  says and the fact that you're aware of what the halacha means
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  is because you chose the path and you want to do the right
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  thing. And that is the mindset of being
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  a Paresh. When it comes to halacha, the
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  mindset is being a person who knows there's two ways.
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  Being a person who's wary or maybe making a mistake, being
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  somebody who's afraid of just taking every leniency and coming
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  out very possibly with the wrong outcome.
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  That's the idea, OK. And therefore being a potential
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  huh can make you a stronger, more wary and more holically
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  cognizant person. That's who you want to be.
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  So it's not about pro strictness.
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  No, we're not pro insistency. We're not pro against going
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  against the wrong opinion, which mahmir sometimes can be going
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  with the wrong opinion. We're not pro that.
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  We're a pro of the tone and the tone is I'm a guy who recognizes
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  who sees there's two ways. He gives an example inside of a
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  Maruka would say that after eating meat, I would wait 24
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  hours and father waited 24 hours and I wait certain amount of
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  time like we wish. He says I'm like vinegar
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  prepared to my father being like wine, which is my father was a
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  much finer person than me. He is more much me than me.
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  So what does that mean? If he follows right, you're
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  right. What's going on here?
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  I do your Rabbi in the Gemara. Great Rabbi, you're doing the
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  wrong Alihad. The answer is no.
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  He yelled he was right, but his father was a stricter person.
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  And by the way, in that story you see another concept.
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  Don't overdo it. Don't do it that are not that
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  are not consistent with your way of life.
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  It's a very important point. You can have people who are
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  extra and other areas, they're not really so observant.
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  What ends up happening is that kids resent that because the
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  kids say honest to him, you do this, you do that, you do the
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  other thing. And then in this area,
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  mahmirana, so you mahmirana family, it's not really fair.
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  And that's really the amount of example where the rabbi wouldn't
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  wait 24 hours like his father after me because he wasn't on
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  the level of his father and it didn't make sense to be a weird
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  person, to be a person who's off, which means doing this and
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  not doing that. To be an inconsistent person is
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  a very bad person or a very bad way of life.
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  Also, that means even if you're being told to adapt the tone of
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  Hummrot, don't adapt the tone of strange.
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  Strange is I'm very strict in one area and I ignore another
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  area. That's strange.
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  You got to start somewhere. You know, when it comes to
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  Hummrot comes to his mindset. True, you got to start
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  somewhere, but he was not observing some, you know, got to
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  start somewhere 100% and there's going to be inconsistencies.
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  Yeah, I agree. But extremes are are are rough.
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  If a guy is give you an example, I want to say I'm trying to
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  think of an example. A person's totally not observing
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  in one area and they're very actually having another area.
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  They end up having very strange, funny results both for
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  themselves and for their family. People who have a funny sort of
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  religion that you and I know it's because they haven't had a
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  level of balance, level playing field.
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  You need to have a balance across the board.
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  You're right, you have to start somewhere.
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  You have to when it comes to doing Aloha for the first time
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  and the 1st place, you absolutely need to start
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  somewhere when it comes to being extra mahmir.
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  It shouldn't be starting somewhere it shouldn't be.
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  I'm on this level. I'm on that level.
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  I want to keep my tone there. I'm pro the halacha, that's for
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  sure, my tone and I'll go there and stay.
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  Just I'll give you an example. My father at one point, we
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  didn't keep halal, we didn't keep party.
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  So he didn't keep his shoes. I don't believe at least this
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  idea what fully only lived in deal and then we moved to
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  Brooklyn one by one of my fellows had to adapt one after
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  the other to the other. All right, but he never put it
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  on us as a kid. I didn't give any of these all
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  right, solely all the time when I became more doable when I got
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  married and these things we started to keep these things.
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  We never put it on us and I believed it basically worked in
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  a very balanced developed way. When he was on the level or felt
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  he was able to do acts he did it, felt he was able to do why
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  he did it. So it never felt heavy.
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  And then I felt like, oh, now we're being choked here.
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  We're being choked there. When you adopt who not you want
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  to adopt them in a very leveled way, almost like they come in
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  seamlessly. They don't really change your
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  life that much. I suddenly start noticing I
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  follow these parties, say OK, fine, didn't make a difference.
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  So I noticed I said don't keep full pies like on the way.
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  Yeah, that's how it goes exactly.
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  If you go up step by step when a person does something to an
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  extreme, first of all, you have to check a few times to see if
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  he's really doing it for the right reason or the wrong
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  reason. When someone does something one
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  thing to an extreme and then he's completely ignore ignorant
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  in another area. That's strange there.
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  Why is it doing this right? Sure, it's better.
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  But if it's sometimes it's a wary thing, right?
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  It's strange. Who cares?
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  OK, you what's the what's the what's the negative result?
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  The consequences? Strange, fine, good.
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  Therefore what the consequences? He mean #1 might be doing it for
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  the wrong reason #2 if he's holding his family back because
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  it is Huma and he's leaning in other areas, his family resents
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  it because they say it's not fair.
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  Basically, you know, you have people who after they've enjoyed
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  their whole life, they all suddenly start getting tough on
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  their kids and the kids say one second you lived it up and I
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  being tough on me and I could tell that, you know, I mean, all
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  of a sudden you're bringing in values after you've, you know,
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  passed the years where you want to enjoy yourself.
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  And I used to bring those values.
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  The guy, he builds a beautiful home when he tells us, 'cause
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  you have to live simply. I didn't resent that.
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  So it's a similar theme, a similar idea when a person takes
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  one home out to an extreme. I think one home out to extreme
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  and the and every other area living it up because I really
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  like that. So there's a couple of things.
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  One, it usually reflects a strange mindset. 2, it may not
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  be coming from the best place and they might just want to show
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  other people and stuff like that.
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  And three of your family's going to resent it if you do it the
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  wrong way. But it's not to say don't adapt
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  this tone. This tone is a very good tone.
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  The tone which is exists in my life, the tone that says I can
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  sometimes deal with an unfavorable outcome which is
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  going to limit me and the food I eat.
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  Sometimes. Sometimes I go travel to a place
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  and I'm nothing really. That's no restaurants I can go
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  to. There are people who keep Aloha,
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  but no matter where they go, they're eating.
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  What does that mean? That means that they're going to
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  adopt and accept any of mosquito anyhow wherever they go, no
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  matter what. What that means is you have, as
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  David said, you have a target and you just figuring out a way
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  to get to that target. What ends up happening is
• 19:48
  there's zero level of in your life.
• 19:53
  Doesn't mean you don't cause it means it doesn't play a role.
• 19:57
  When it doesn't play a role, it ends up becoming a nuisance or
• 20:02
  it has to tell you. There are classic examples of a
• 20:04
  whole Nidal where this happens all the time.
• 20:06
  There are classic examples of what happens all the time.
• 20:10
  And a hot car shoot these are three of the areas happens all
• 20:13
  the time they're cognizant of car shoot cognizant and he die
• 20:17
  careful she. Drinking milk in America or most
• 20:19
  refined single milk is good. He go to Italy and you don't
• 20:22
  know if it's kosher Jack right then and there.
• 20:24
  It's nice. And you used to what you do it,
• 20:26
  you don't think twice. What is that?
• 20:29
  That's a person. That's fine.
• 20:31
  But if you had some level of somewhere in America that you
• 20:33
  couldn't do something, you go to another country and you face it
• 20:37
  the same challenge. OK, I've been I've been around
• 20:39
  this, I've been to this. I know how to deal with this.
• 20:42
  And I've absorbed a tone and a path that includes sometimes,
• 20:47
  you know, skipping on the food, sometimes awarding what about
• 20:50
  the builds a better person. You hold by bet yourself in your
• 20:52
  house and you go to a restaurant.
• 20:55
  Is it being like Mahmir asking the guy if?
• 21:00
  It's at your at your level, No, but there are people who.
• 21:03
  These I've I've I've I've I I I started long time just asking
• 21:09
  for. OK that's good for doing it.
• 21:11
  No end up becoming consistent in that area.
• 21:14
  But there are people who only do beta 7 in the house and don't
• 21:17
  really and never really fully accept.
• 21:19
  Let's say I bought a a piece of salami.
• 21:22
  It it wasn't bet yourself I did. I I thought it was now now like
• 21:28
  like are you allowed to eat it or?
• 21:30
  Or once you bought it already? Yeah, it really depends on if
• 21:34
  that keeping of the halacha became for you halacha or was it
• 21:39
  just a whole mother you were being wary of.
• 21:42
  If it became your way and you avoid no I would like.
• 21:45
  I would like to to stay that way because it's like consistent.
• 21:49
  Imagine going to every restaurant just eating.
• 21:52
  It's like it's. Hard to answer really.
• 21:55
  It really depends on your mind. So when you first accepted it.
• 21:57
  If you really accepted it, then you avoid even that one piece.
• 22:00
  But if you're never fully accepted, you're just trying to
• 22:01
  do more. So many times when you already
• 22:04
  bought it and you want to lose out on the money and you have it
• 22:06
  and you're ready. It depends how you adapt to
• 22:08
  that. First, Humana, that's an
• 22:10
  important point. But this is over the theme of
• 22:12
  theme of tone at night, by the way, just as a side point.
• 22:15
  Tone is oftentimes more important than the actual
• 22:21
  application. Humana is one example.
• 22:23
  I'll give you another example. This is on my mind from looking
• 22:26
  at the parasha yesterday, this upcoming parasha.
• 22:29
  So the example upcoming is that Moshira Ben who is dealing with
• 22:31
  renegade Beneduven who have a lot of cattle, and they ask if
• 22:36
  they can stay on this side of the yard then, which is the area
• 22:40
  Jewish people already conquered because they have so much cattle
• 22:43
  and they want to sell to them. The Moshira Ben, as we know, as
• 22:48
  soon as he gets angry at them, we're trying to go to Israel, of
• 22:52
  course, trying to go into aid to sell and you're abandoning us.
• 22:55
  And he gets really angry. And it's surprising how much
• 22:58
  should have been the most unknowed person.
• 23:00
  You never find this anger ever. Why does he get so upset?
• 23:04
  And he makes them sign pretty much and agree to an
• 23:08
  unbelievably detailed and binding contract, so to speak,
• 23:12
  an agreement which says that if when the Jewish people want to
• 23:16
  go in, they have to fight, they have to be part of the fighting.
• 23:19
  And they can't just settle over here.
• 23:21
  They can't just take what they the land they have.
• 23:22
  How much should have been makes a We actually learned the laws
• 23:26
  of trying, of contracts of conditions from Musharraf's
• 23:30
  dealings over there. All the laws of nadim Nazir, all
• 23:32
  those things come, many of them come from this negotiation,
• 23:35
  which everyone has. So he gets so angry and he
• 23:38
  reshapes the laws of money and dealings based on these people
• 23:43
  wanting to sell over here. Why 'cause they focus, we know,
• 23:46
  'cause they focus on their cattle.
• 23:47
  So it's so bad. They have a lot of cattle, they
• 23:49
  have a lot of money, they want to settle.
• 23:51
  It's so bad. The answer is what's so bad is
• 23:56
  not the settling. What's so bad is what is the
• 23:58
  tone? When you're more careful about
• 24:02
  your property, you are about your spirituality.
• 24:07
  What is the tone that you set when you're more wary about your
• 24:11
  home than you are about it? Your kids learning right?
• 24:16
  Or your kids friends? It's all about the tone.
• 24:19
  There's a tone that you set when your priorities are messed up
• 24:23
  that is more important than the actual action.
• 24:25
  There's nothing wrong with being a native event settling over
• 24:27
  here. What's wrong is that it
• 24:30
  literally seems like they care more about animals than they do
• 24:34
  about the Jewish people, which is ridiculous.
• 24:36
  Which is no way they ever meant that, but it seemed that way
• 24:40
  because that's the tone you set when your priorities are a
• 24:44
  little bit messed up. And it's the same idea when it
• 24:47
  comes to the tone of being a Mahmoud up against being a
• 24:50
  Mikhail is that a person may kill.
• 24:53
  Basically everything goes. Persons in Mahamir says I care
• 24:57
  about Allaha and the same is true of Benigal and the van.
• 25:00
  Same is true with 1000 examples. Your tone, the most impactful
• 25:05
  thing on your family. By the way, the children did not
• 25:07
  take your Allaha with you. They didn't want Allaha.
• 25:10
  They take your tone. You find people whose children
• 25:14
  grow up and they love to rob. It's wood and really can't find
• 25:18
  what the parents did in the house to do that.
• 25:21
  I've, I, I, I've had this study. My study is how come so many
• 25:26
  children love Tudamizuf and their parents are regular
• 25:29
  people. Maybe you're not so observant
• 25:31
  where they get from where they come from.
• 25:33
  And the answer really is not the halacha itself or not the exact
• 25:37
  learning. It was the overall approach that
• 25:40
  the parents displayed rather because the father went out to
• 25:43
  class. So the father's believed with
• 25:44
  shul or the father likes rabbis. All those things was old.
• 25:47
  And then you have people who are cynical in a certain sense.
• 25:51
  And then sometimes, sometimes it works out that the children are
• 25:53
  not so good. And you say one second, the guy
• 25:55
  is observant, he's just actually cynical.
• 25:58
  But all the kids here are their remarks.
• 26:02
  They don't hear the observing part.
• 26:03
  This is really something to always be careful about.
• 26:05
  I'm worried about this myself. I'll give you a personal
• 26:06
  example. I am a highly cynical person in
• 26:09
  private, which means I have many opinions about things and I
• 26:13
  don't really go. I had nothing, no, no fluff
• 26:15
  flies with me, none of this stuff.
• 26:17
  I don't go for any extra gimmicky stuff. 0 gimmicks work
• 26:20
  on me. OK, that follows mindset.
• 26:22
  It's my mindset. 0 gimmicks. But I'm careful.
• 26:26
  I I learned to become careful around my wife and children,
• 26:30
  even my wife, to not always put these things down.
• 26:35
  Even Suklot that I don't go for or certain rabbi approaches that
• 26:41
  I'm not interested in and Sir and better hold don't mean that
• 26:44
  much to me. All these things, they don't
• 26:45
  really they're overdone in my book.
• 26:47
  I don't put them down. Why?
• 26:50
  Because what my children are going to hear is not Gai doesn't
• 26:54
  hold of a certain Hasid, which would be fine.
• 26:57
  They're going to hear Gai doesn't like people with beards.
• 27:00
  They're going to that's what he's asking me, their approach.
• 27:02
  And then they're going to find the burst in all signs of beard
• 27:04
  and say I don't like him either. That's the tone that's take
• 27:06
  away. That's a very scary take away.
• 27:08
  On the other hand, if I'm positive, eventually I'll mold
• 27:12
  them help to mold them with my real.
• 27:14
  Opinion congregation, huh? Mostly your congregation, not
• 27:16
  just your family. Same thing, same thing you find
• 27:19
  with your congregation. You find the people in your shoe
• 27:20
  1000%. If you're cynical, they're only
• 27:24
  going to take because why? If my rabbi is cynical, that's a
• 27:28
  key pass to do whatever I want. He doesn't hold to this.
• 27:32
  He doesn't hold that. He doesn't hold this thing, so
• 27:33
  I'll hold it. The fourth thing, all right,
• 27:35
  I'll make up my own thing I'm cynical about.
• 27:37
  You have to be careful because if you go two ways to either
• 27:40
  extreme, you become gullible and acceptance of everything.
• 27:42
  There are people who are sugula happy and they're prone to make
• 27:46
  mistakes because of that. There are people who buy into
• 27:49
  everything also prone, and there are people who are just cynical
• 27:53
  and they don't really accept anything.
• 27:55
  You had to find the median, but the median includes a tone, and
• 27:58
  the tone is key. That's the minds.
• 28:00
  That was something.